[LARONA]
‘This is so sweet. It’s like you knew I needed a pick-me up’ Kuli says while smelling the peach flowers I’ve just handed to her. I pull out one of the kitchen chairs so I can take a seat. I’m exhausted.
Mabontle walks in.
‘Hey babe!’ she greets with a smile and we hug. Who would’ve thought we’d ever get to this point?
‘Hi. How are you? Congratulations once more’
I sent her a text after she gave birth but it’s only right that I say it in person.
‘Thank you so much’
‘How is he? When am I seeing him?’
A layer of sadness covers her eyes.
‘We’ll see. Things are… I don’t even know what to say but hopefully you’ll see him somehow. I came to get these’ she says and takes the feeding bottles from the drying rack. ‘Nice to see you’ she gently squeezes my arm before walking out. What is going on with these two? Did something happen that I don’t know about? They look like they’re aware the world is about to end in a few minutes.
‘Is he still grumpy?’ Kuli asks. Bontle reverses.
‘Not really but he refuses to sleep. Lemme go check on him quickly because he’s alone’ she continues walking after her sister nods with understanding.
‘Thanks for coming’ Kuli says to me.
‘You’ve been on my mind for some time now. That phone call just confirmed that you are not okay. What’s wrong?’
She takes out a vase and occupies it with tap water before emptying the packet of plant food in it. I’ll give her all the time she needs.
‘You know…’ she starts, while shortening the rose stems with a scissor and getting rid of the green leaves.
‘You’d think the most difficult part about this calling is having to carry people’s problems on your shoulders’
‘It’s not?’
She raises her eyes and looks at me, then shakes her head.
‘The most difficult part is realizing that you’re good at fixing other people’s lives but your own’
‘Where is this going?’
She looks like she’s carrying the entirety of this planet on her back.
‘Remember when I told you that I was once jailed for my mother’s murder?’
I nod. She looks around before she continues, probably to see if we’re still alone.
‘I found out that my dad is actually the culprit behind the whole thing’
Wait a damn minute…
‘You mean… he’s the one who…?’
‘He hired someone to do it. But because my guides don’t sleep, that someone came to me and confessed – claiming that he hasn’t known peace since the whole thing happened’
This hits way too close to home. What the hell?
‘Did you talk to him about it?’
I know I’m a fine one to speak, considering that I swept my own issues under the rug. Confronting my dad would be a complete waste of time so I chose to cut him off instead.
‘Not yet. I am still planning the conversation in my head because I’m not good with confrontation. I’m a recovering people-pleaser so bear with me’ she jokes. She takes out a jug of juice from the fridge and puts it on a wooden tray, along with empty tumblers and a plate of biscuits. We go sit outside. I enjoy the greenery in the mountain views while I wait for her to collect herself. Thing is, I get it. I’m convinced for some people to end up picking up rocks and papers in the streets for no apparent reason, it’s because of things like these. You can easily run mad after such a discovery.
‘I don’t understand why he didn’t just come clean? I think it was going to be easier to accept had he told me this himself’
I don’t quite agree but I could be personalizing the whole thing so I just nod.
‘Another part of me is in awe of how much that man loves me. I was just a little girl when he promised to always protect me. I just never imagined it would ever get to these lengths’
I pour us some juice and push the plate towards her. The shock is still apparent, she needs some sugar in her system. I am using all my strength to reign in my emotions even though they’re threatening to spill, this isn’t about me.
‘And now I have to keep this from my sister because I don’t want to be the reason why her perspective of him changes. I feel like this is between him and I’
‘The only person who will give you the closure you need is your father. And from what I know and have seen about him, he’s a reasonable human being. I think he’d want you to give him a chance to explain himself, I don’t know’
‘That’s the thing about explanations. Why do we always need them because we already know the truth?’
‘It’s not necessarily the explanation we need; it’s the remorse we need to see. From someone who kinda gets it, look at it this way. My dad and his wife took away my mom FROM me whereas yours got rid of your mother FOR you. I’m not taking his side but I feel like he deserves some leniency, a lot of it actually’
‘I know. It’s just the heartbreak speaking right now but I am aware of the divergence in our situations. I think I’ll go see him later today, thank you for this’
I simply nod.
‘And you? How are you feeling?’
‘I don’t want to go there to be honest. Have you figured out what you’re going to wear to the company launch?’ I try to change the topic. Kurhula is opening a security company in town and I feel like that’s the only thing we should be focusing on right now however, Kuli being Kuli, that look in her eyes tells me she won’t let this go.
‘I’m serious. We’ll talk about it when I’m sure that I won’t break down and cry’
‘There’s nothing wrong with breaking down and crying. I meant it when I said I’m here for you’
I don’t doubt that but that’s not what I need right now.
‘I know’
She eventually lets go. We move to the grass because her feet are acting up and they apparently get worse at a height. Mhani Lulama brings Tlhari out and I receive him. Aw, he just woke up. The weather has gotten gloomy but it’s not that cold.
‘Hey big boy’ I greet him and he smiles. They’ve cut his hair. He looks cute in his mustard dungaree and white tee inside.
‘Here’ mhani says and puts his Purity bottle on the blanket and I take the spoon before she can put it on top, just in case it falls and catches germs. I ask Kuli to open the little jar. Why is she looking at me like that? I hope she’s not about to give me a reading. I avoid her eyes but I can tell it’s coming. Tlhari doesn’t fight me, he eats peacefully.
‘Why do you want an abortion, Lala?’
‘Erhh…’
‘I see you bleeding out on an operation table’ she says and I feel goosebumps all over my body. The lecture from my mom was enough. Why did they have to tell her about this?
‘I won’t do it. Don’t worry’ I continue feeding Vutlhari without making any eye contact. This suddenly feels like déjà vu. I feel like we’re repeating a moment in time. Something about all this feels familiar, too familiar. Kurhula appears and greets us both. He takes Tlhari from me and lifts him in the air.
‘He just ate. You’re gonna make him throw up’ I chide and he laughs but stops swinging him up and down.
‘My people, do you have a moment? We need to talk’
I immediately remember the dream I once had months ago. I also remember how he laughed when I told him about it. So I’m not crazy, I’ve seen this before.
Life is truly a funny concept.
