[LARONA]
‘I got them matching outfits and they refuse to wear them’ I say to Kuli while she’s busy making dessert behind the kitchen counter and she laughs. We’re at the farmhouse and everyone is outside. I came to keep her company inside here. This is the only place she gets to be herself without carrying the royalty status on her head and its responsibilities. We decided to host the family because damn, we’ve been through a helluva lot. Of course some names were left out of the guest list because we don’t need drama here.
‘You were taking a fat chance and you know it. The boys have never liked looking alike even when they were still in kindergarten. What makes you think they’ll agree now when they’re ten?’
I’m so bored. They are always pulling in a different direction to mine.
‘I’m convinced they hate me and they’re conspiring to kill me’ I state and she laughs even harder.
‘Ever so dramatic’ – she slaps my hand when I reach for another peach half – ‘These are for dessert. You should be helping me but you’re sitting there digging into the ingredients’
She must leave me alone. Fatigue has me by the nipples and this was mostly her idea. Court was not a joke this week. I need a couple of days off.
AK throws himself into the kitchen and we both turn in his direction. Why does he look so panic-stricken?
‘What’s wrong papa?’ I ask.
‘I did something horrible’
‘What did you do this time?’ Kuli asks defeatedly and turns the oven off. I can’t get used to him being taller than me. When did he grow? When I wasn’t paying attention? Time really flies.
‘I… I didn’t mean to hit her’
‘You got into another fight?!’ Kuli loses it.
‘It wasn’t exactly a fight. We were arguing and I backhanded her. Now she’s on her way to the cops’
‘Who? Nkateko?’ I ask. He nods.
‘Akani, you hit your girlfriend???’ Kuli carries her hands over her head.
‘I didn’t mean to. I swear I didn’t’
I am shocked but he does look remorseful. He takes out his phone and says she just texted him that the cops are on their way to the royal house. I take it away from him when he attempts to type.
‘Don’t respond to anything via text. Why do you want to incriminate yourself? Was it just the two of you when it happened?’
He nods. Kuli looks at me with disbelief. I shrug, What?
‘I’ll handle this’ I assure and grab my car keys.
‘Must be nice having a defence lawyer as a mother’ Kuli jabs at me. She mustn’t start.
I wake up from the dream with a pounding heart. It was like talking to the teenage version of Kurhula.
That felt way too real.
…
Kago is finally here and I feel whole again, although she’s heartbroken and I have to pick up the pieces as always.
‘I knew he was too good to be true’ she wails even further. I hand her another sheet of tissue and she blows her reddened nose.
‘You didn’t, otherwise you would’ve known better. Stop beating yourself up about this’
I need to go to work but I can’t tell her that. She will think I’m abandoning her. I’ll give her fifteen more minutes of my morning and hope that Kurhula doesn’t have my head for breakfast. I already know he’s in a bad mood because I couldn’t reach him yesterday. He’s not taking the whole thing with Kuli being comatosed well, if I can call it that. I had to come back here for Kago and to get some work done.
‘But think about it couzzy. This man has it all; the looks, the perfect bank account and the charisma. Something had to be wrong with him. Same way with your husband. He couldn’t be yours ole one’
Ke tsena kae? Why am I innit?
I silently hand her more tissue paper because if I respond, I’ll end up dying for her ex’s sins.
‘You still haven’t told me what happened in Sandhurst?’
‘What more do you want to hear Lala? The guy is married with two ugly kids. They take after his beast of a wife, which makes me wonder what he saw in her to even choose her over me?!’
I almost laugh but manage to contain it.
‘Muffin, do you want me to tell you the truth?’
She raises her bloodshot eyes at me. I will tell her anyway.
‘Stop allowing these men to make you their trophy. Adjust your boundaries a bit and I don’t mean go lower’
She frowns and I stand up. I can tell when she’s about to spray vomit everywhere.
‘I need to go to work. I’ll see you later’ I steal a kiss from her cheek and pick up my tote bag. I hope I don’t knock off too late so we can go get some ice cream. In terms of mjolo, my girl has seen enough flames to grill a whole cow well-done. I receive a call from Kuli while I’m trying to unlock the door.
‘Look who’s back?’ I answer and she huffs out laughter.
‘Morning. Are you busy?’
‘I’m on my way to the office. How are you feeling?’
‘I’ll live. Is he there?’ I’m walking as I speak.
I can tell she’s not okay.
‘No. I have been trying to reach him since yesterday and he wasn’t answering my calls. I thought he was there with you?’
I hear her sigh. The only thing that convinced me he’s okay is his last seen on WhatsApp. We’re all going through a lot here and I have decided to give him the space he obviously needs. Him ignoring me hurts but what I am not going to do is chase after him.
‘He stormed out of here yesterday and I haven’t been able to reach him since’
I’m not sure if it’s my place to ask if they fought. Navigating polygamy is so difficult. Whoever decided that this was the fate suitable for me surely hates my guts.
‘I poked a hornet’s nest but I had no choice Lala but I’mnow realizing that my timing was completely off’
I stop in the middle of the road next to the lady who sells fat cakes. I greet her with a wave and she waves back with a smile. I had no chance to have breakfast because I was busy nursing my cousin’s broken heart.
‘What are you talking about?’
‘I told him that his grandfather wants him to bury the hatchet with regard to everything that occurred between him and his father. He didn’t take it well’
My chest deflates. Why now?
‘Is it that necessary? You know very well how Kurhula feels about his dad’
‘I’m afraid it is. If he doesn’t forgive, Edward will succeed in getting AK to take his name and then that boy will turn into him. We all don’t want that’
The dream I had comes back to me in 3D.
‘Are you still there, Lala?’
I hear her voice and I remember that I’m still on the phone. I relay it to her and she goes dead quiet. Why am I suddenly feeling nervous? My hands are even shaking. The vendor lady asks me if I’m okay and I nod. I’ve even lost my appetite.
…
[KULANI]
I am struggling to put a halt to these tears and that conversation with Larona continues to echo in my head. I receive a text from Mabontle, telling me that we’re being called to a family meeting. It’s too early for this and I am not in the mood. I go wash my face, change into an appropriate dress and cover my head with a silk wrap.
I make sure to sit far from Uncle Sol because I know I make him uncomfortable. I wonder how Aunt Fanisa’s recovery is going. Kurhula pulled a number on her with that mob. She probably thinks I had a hand in it, wherever she is.
‘Did you find him?’ I whisper to Fikani because I asked him to look for his brother. The sigh he lets out makes me lose hope. The others around this table are loudly catching up while we wait for Uncle Wiseman and Uncle Albert. They’re apparently the ones who called this meeting but they’re late.
‘He left the car at the Engen garage. His phone as well. I have no idea where he is but I’m gonna find him, don’t worry’
They arrive and greet. Fikani gives them the permission to lead the conversation. Their relationship is cute. They’re always together, like best friends.
‘Thank you Mlambya’ Uncle Albert starts. ‘I have bad news’
We all raise our ears. Fikani glances at me with worry plastered all over his face. I start praying internally that this isn’t about Kurhula. I’d know if something terrible happened to him, right?
‘The security at the royal cemetery called this morning and informed that Edward’s tombstone has been vandalized beyond recognition. Both the gate at the front and back were found to be intact this morning when they clocked in so the person either had a key, or they jumped the fence’
‘This has Kurhula written all over it’ Uncle Sol states without stuttering.
Wiseman purses his lips in annoyance.
‘What exactly do you have against that boy?’ he asks.
‘Tell me I am lying’
‘I asked why you hate that child so much? We both know you’ve never liked him ever since he was born’
‘Okay then. Let’s go check if the key is in the house. Where is he now?’
They continue to argue and Fikani orders them to cut it out. They both go silent after this.
‘But I am still saying that the key should be checked. That shouldn’t be difficult’ Sol manages to sneak this in. He can’t even see that Fikani is getting exasperated by him since he’s blind. Mabontle’s hand holds mine under the table and I feel my heart sink. The tears better not drop. I tighten my hold as well. I can’t hold it together any longer. I ask to be excused and I leave. I need to sleep. Sleep is always the solution when I am feeling like this.
…
By the time I wake up, I hear the shower running. The faucet is operating at its highest. I wait for him to finish up so we can talk. We can’t run away from this, it needs to be addressed. He takes a while in there and I continue waiting. He eventually comes out, stark naked.
‘Hey baby’ he greets and squeezes the lotion onto his palm.
‘Hi love’
He’s still not willing to talk. I get up and go hug him from behind. He stops and looks ahead.
‘I need to get to the office’
Is he dismissing me?
‘We have to talk about this at some point’
‘At some point, not now’
I continue holding onto him.
‘Was it therapeutic?’ I ask.
‘What was?’
‘Destroying his resting place’
He removes my hands from him with his elbows.
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’
‘I want to be there for you. Please allow me to support you in this?’
‘Support me? First you, you attempt to force me into forgiving him. Now you accusing me of things. Is that what support means in your dictionary?’
‘I was worried about you…’
‘There was no need. I’m an adult with a full set of teeth, an ID and two traffic fines to my name’
‘You don’t have to behave this way. I am not the enemy here. I am not doing this to hurt you. By forgiving your father, you would be doing it for yours and Akani’s sake. Edward is gone. You’re the one who’s left with—‘
I feel a tight grip around my neck and I struggle to process what just happened. The lotion in his hand makes me feel like I’m sliding down in his hold. He lets me go and I try to massage away the pain. Did Kurhula just strangle me? I look him in the eye and I see nothing but pain. His lip stops trembling and he walks back to the bathroom. I sit against the bed and hug my knees. What the hell just happened here? I am tired of crying but I am done trying to stop myself. Did Kurhula just strangle me? Am I officially a statistic? The tears are going straight into my mouth and I keep tasting the saltiness of it all; of this whole situation I am faced with. I keep swallowing and the pain won’t let me do it with ease. He comes having wrapped a towel around his waist and gently pulls me up. Did Kurhula really just strangle me?
‘Mbilu ya Kurhula… I am so, so sorry baby’
I don’t know what to say to him.
‘I did not mean to…’ he pulls in some air and immediately expels it. I am just here, with my hands hanging on my sides. I feel like my whole world has just come undone. He’s just brought all the memories back. The memories from when Fikani abducted me, when he assaulted me. What do these men see when they see me? A punching bag?
My brain keeps glitching. I am trying to think but the only think being processed is this throbbing pain on my neck. I miss my dad.
‘Baby please forgive me. Say something, I am begging you’
What does he want me to say? Not so long ago, I was telling him that he’s the best thing that has ever happened to me even though I got married to him against my will. Then he comes and does this?
I am angry. I am confused. I am tired.
But the crazy thing is that it feels as though all these emotions are trapped inside a tight ball full of jelly; like I don’t have access to them. I want to scream at him. I want to tell him how much pain he’s inflicting on me, but I do not have the vocabulary for that.
I feel lost. I feel unloved. I feel used.
He puts his forehead against mine and forces me to see the sincerity in his eyes.
No, I have had enough. I think I’ve reached my breaking point…