DAISY
My phone vibrates and it's taking me a long time to untangle myself from him.
He holds me tight through the night. Kisses my forehead right as I'm falling asleep.
He stirs in his sleep and I pause. My phone stops vibrating for a second and then it goes off again.
I grab my phone and walk right into the bathroom. Taking the call.
"Hey, Bobby." I could hear his smile through the phone, "How's my little Jade?" I smile wide, keeping my voice, "I'm good. How are you? How's Jenny?"
"She misses you." Then he takes a long breath. "I miss you too. Come over, please. I'm worried, baby." I laugh nervously and he catches on, "Daisy?"
"I might not be in the same place..."
"Where the fuck are you?"
"In another country."
"What the fuck are you doing in another country? Where are you exactly?"
"South Korea. Seoul. Gangnam."
"Fuck. How the fuck did you went from staying at a man's house to staying in another country?"
"Listen, it's okay. I'm okay—"
"The fuck you are! Daisy, you listen to me right now. And you better answer everything with utter honesty. Do you hear that, young lady?"
"Yes."
"Good girl." I wait for the list of questions. "Are you safe?"
"Yes, sir."
"Are you in danger?"
"No, sir."
"Daisy, are you lying to me? You know I can catch your little lies. You have too many tells for a father like me."
"No, sir."
"You swear on me?"
"I swear on everything that is rainbows and sunshine's like Jenny's soul."
That gets him to break his hard exterior, he snorts and then chuckles slightly. His voice fills something warm in my chest. Then he sighs, "Baby, I'm just so worried. I need you back here where I know you're safe. I need Kevin back here. I just miss both of my babies." Then he mutters to himself, "I should've grabbed my rifle and got you back home the next day when you told me what you and Kevin got yourself into."
"Were you thinking of shooting?"
"If it means both my babies would be safe and sound in my house, yes."
"And you would've gone to prison."
"With a damn smile on my face."
"Bobby— we talked about this. No fantasies of shooting. You're too old for prison food."
"My teeth work just fine. Go on and ask Jenny where she got that hickey from last night in her inner thighs."
"Gross!"
He chuckles because he knows he put all those bad imaginations inside my head. It was like thinking about your parents having sex. Ew.
There's an understanding pause between us and he breaks it. "Do you need anything? Money? I can get you money right now. Tell me how much you need."
"I'm fine. You need to stop worrying about me."
"Over my dead body."
"Don't say that!"
I could hear him do an eye roll. "How's everything at the club?" He takes in a deep sigh, "Zane is pissed because he lost his best girl. Your usual clients keep asking for you every day. Marcelo is on the receiving end of the tantrums which I think he deserves after what you pulled on Zane that night."
"I wasn't holding the gun."
"I still wanna know who that man is. If he's dangerous, I gotta let him know I ain't scared to pull a trigger."
"He's... well, he's caring."
"Caring how?"
"He... takes care of me. He makes sure I'm okay."
"Careful, baby, it could all be a trick."
"Don't worry. I can take care of myself."
"I know. You're my strong little girl."
"I know. Listen, I gotta go."
"Okay. Take care of yourself. I love you."
"I love you too."
I take a deep breath when I hear the other line go silent. I just miss them so much that it hurts.
My eyes tear up and I wipe away at it before the tears can even trail down my face.
I get up and unlock the door. And right as I pull it open, I gasp, "Fuck!" With a hand on my chest. He's standing right there. Hair messy, lips a little puffy from waking up. He slightly tilts his head and I grumble, "You need a cat collar around your neck." His voice comes out husky, "Who were you talking to?"
The question wasn't interrogating but genuine curiosity.
"Oh, one of my friends from the club." I had to lie. Anything to protect my family. He nods and rubs the sleep away from his eye.
He looks adorable like that. I never catch his waking face because he's usually up before me.
I put my hands on his chest and got on my toes, "I wanna go out today. I wanna see everything."
"And you want me to be your tour guide?"
I smile sweetly.
♤
Instead of making breakfast, he insisted on taking me to his favorite place which was a cozy little hut on the corner of the street that sold a handful of things.
I moan at the smell of broth. It was freezing here, last night it poured heavily.
Jin wore jeans, a T-shirt, and a thick black jacket. All casual. We stood in the line, me being right beside him as I eyed whatever the old lady was selling. Couldn't read the little handwritten menu board because it was all in Korean but all I could tell this little hut sold at least six dishes in total.
We were next after the middle-aged women in front of us. "So what's so special here?" He answers, fixing his glasses in his nose, "Fish cakes."
"Fish cakes?"
"It's the broth that's the best part in the morning on an empty stomach. It's salty and hearty and just overall perfect."
"So this is your favorite place?"
"My dad's."
He leans close enough to speak with a calmer town, "According to my dad, that woman has been making fish cakes since he was my age." I frown, "How old are you exactly?" He looks at me with narrowed eyes, "You don't know?"
"I never asked."
"Hmm."
"No, literally, how old are you?"
"Thirty-five."
I almost choke, "Thirty-five?!"
"I'm sensing an offensive comment coming my way in three... two... one—"
"No, I thought you were my age."
"How old are you?"
"You don't know?"
"Daisy, if I did I wouldn't be asking."
"Touché. I'm twenty-six."
"My prediction was right."
"Mine wasn't! I thought you'd be— I don't know— twenty-nine. It's a compliment."
We were finally the next customers. The old lady takes one look at Jin and she gasps, climbing down from around the little food stall and right out. She was frail with white hair. Short with sunspots across her face. Jin was the first one to bow, "Ajumma, dangsin-eun byeonhaji anh-assseubnida. (Aunty, you have not changed.)"
She smiles wider when she embraces Jin into a hug and pats his stomach, "Eomeo, dangsin-eul bon ji myeoch nyeon-i dwaessneyo. (Oh my, it's been years since I've seen you.)" She steps away from the embrace and her eyes fall to me. I smile and Jin looks at me with a sweet smile too. The woman says something I don't understand with a smile on her face and Jin just bows his head again, "Ne gamsahabnida! (Yes, thank you!)"
She is behind the stall again and climbs to sit up behind what looks like four giant pots and points towards the plastic chairs and tables. Jin takes my hand and leads me to sit where she pointed.
We take our seats and I ask, "She remembers you?" He shrugs, "She'd always give me a free fish cake on my way home from school everyday." I smile as I imagine him young with pimples all over his face and a crooked smile.
"So what was she saying?"
"She was glad to see me and she said you're pretty."
"She said that?"
"She also said that we make a great couple, which I disagree."
"Oh, I disagree too. Shall we tell her about the contract?"
A ghost of a smile spreads on his lips when I play along but it isn't long-lived when the lady makes her way to us with a plate of what looked like sheets skewered through bamboo and two styrofoam cups with what I think was the broth. She places the things in front of us and pats gently on his head, "Meog-eola kkomaya. (Eat up, kid.)" and then she walks away.
He picks one of the skewers and hands it to me. I take it and watch as steam poured out of every crevice. I took a bite and burned my tongue but I managed to chew and gulp. It was certainly fishy but it was comfort too. I take another bite and nod my head because I like it. He softly chuckles as he eats too.
I take sips of the broth and hold it out for him with a big smile on my face, "I need more."
♤
You're to pay on the count of the sticks.
Jin counts the sticks which leads up to forty-six. More than half of them are mine. And I don't know how many cups of broth I had but I knew I had a belly full and a smile on my face.
The sun hadn't even set and the lady was closing down shop. We were the only ones left at the moment. Jin takes out money from his wallet and when he's about to pay up, the lady shakes her head but he insists that she keeps the money no matter what. I don't know how but I knew he paid her more than what he was supposed to pay and that put a smile on my face.
We said our goodbyes and right as we walked out, I felt giddy. I grabbed his arm with both hands, "Where to now?" He shrugs, "You got something in your head?"
"I don't know. Surprise me."
♤
Han river.
I sat on the bench as the sun slowly set while he was off to get us something.
He comes back with beer in his hands. He passed one can to me and it was cold. I pop the lid and take a sip, loving the fizziness and the sweetness of the beer.
He pops the lid of his too and takes a huge gulp.
I ask, "When was the last time you've been on a date?" He answered looking at the sunset, "I don't think you're supposed to discuss your exes after you're married." I snort, "Drama Queen."
"You're curious and you're calling me the drama queen?"
"Come on, it's not an offensive question."
"How about an answer for an answer?"
"Deal. When was the last time you've been on a date?"
"Probably the last time I was here. Ten years ago, I guess."
"You've never had sex in ten years?"
He chuckles at my sudden outburst and shakes his head, "Sex is a different thing. Dating is different. Your turn. When was the last time you went on a date?"
"You know when. You crashed my date with Mason the day you got shot."
"Ah, that's right."
"Was your last date with that girl?"
"Minji? Yeah, it was. I think we were twenty-one at that time. She always liked going to fancy restaurants. I didn't. I preferred comfort food on dates. She thought they were unsanitary. What do you like on dates?"
"Depends who I'm with."
"Elaborate."
I take a deep breath, "I think I'm too used to being a different girl for everyone. They all have a type that I have to fit into." He looks at me, "If you are someone else, how can you know who you are?"
"That's the point. At the club, I had a different role to play every day. I was either domineering or submissive. I was playing parts they paid me to play. Some days I was a school girl and some days I was a married woman. You'd be surprised by the thrill men get when they're sneaking around with women who are taken. Makes them feel powerful that they're having a taste at something that is not theirs."
I turned my head to him and he was still looking at me, "But who are you really, Daisy? What do you like?" My gaze shifted to my feet as I played with the little pebble under my shoe, "I don't know. I like flowers. Does that count?"
"Yes. What else?"
"I didn't know this before but I know now I like watching soap operas." He snorts, "Yeah, I figured that out. You were too into it back at home. What else?" I narrow my eyes, "Weren't we playing twenty-questions?" He rolls his eyes as if he thought he was getting out of answering. "Alright. Ask."
"Did she love you?"
"Yes."
"Did you love her?"
"No."
I don't know why I felt relief instantly. My whole body went relaxed and I sat back, taking another sip of the cold beer as if celebrating. He asks, "Did you love anyone?" I shrug, "No one ever let me."
Silence falls between us for a second, and then I break it, "You know I envy you. I envy your patience. I like how you don't lose your shit in seconds." He chuckles, "That's funny because I envy the way you have the strength to fight without having a thought to run away."
"Me? Fight? You're joking, right?"
"You fight with me every single day for your brother. You fought Zane Black to keep your brother safe no matter what. You take care of him like he's your child and you don't care if you have to do it with a gun pressed to your temple. You'll fight no matter what."
"That doesn't mean I don't ever think of running away."
He grew a little annoyed as if he didn't like the way I was belittling myself, "How many times do you think about running away?" I answer quirky, "Every damn time. It's not easy to be a failure inside while you pretend to be strong. It's called being a hypocrite." He shakes his head, "It's called being awesome." I snort and shake my head, "You're crazy."
I feel him gently running his fingers through my hair, "You trust me, right?" I raise a brow, "You're gonna make me regret it?" He shakes his head, "I want you to lean on me when you feel like running away. And I want to lean on you when I feel like I'm about to lose my shit." I gently take his hand in mine, holding his fingers and twisting his wedding ring, "I'd like that." He leans in and leaves a lingering kiss on the peak of my ear, right at the scar. My breasts tighten and I close my eyes at the feeling of him.
♤
Instead of having dinner outside, we decided to get takeout and eat at the penthouse. He wanted me to try the combination of spicy garlic fried chicken and beer.
We reached the front door and right as Jin was putting in the password, we heard yelling. Our head went to the side and we saw a man running at us at full speed. I gasped and Jin pinned me against the door right as he was tackled to the ground by the man. They both rolled twice until Jin landed under the man with a loud laugh. I've never heard him laugh.
The guy at the top hugged him like crazy and Jin was smiling wide.
I was confused. That guy attacked him. Why is he laughing?
The man messes up Jin's hair and in return, Jin rolls and pins the guy under him. They're both speaking Korean. I clear my throat and get both of their attention. Jin's eyes sparkle with happiness. He chuckles as he slowly gets up and helps the other man up. He wasn't too old. Looked young. My age. He was an inch shorter than Jin with pink bubble-gum hair and pretty brown cat eyes. A goofy smile sets on his lips and he looks like he can't stop vibrating. He was giddy.
Jin lets out another laugh, "Daisy, this is my little brother, Kim Ha-Jun."
The brother lets out a hand and I gently shake it. "You can call me June. I prefer that name anyway." I nod, "I'm Daisy." He nods back but with much force, "I know. You're the talk of the Yang house." Jin messes up June's hair, "I thought you were in Japan." June smiles, "You think I'll stay away when I'm getting a chance to finally meet my hyung after ten years?" His gaze goes to the plastic bag Jin kept on the floor before he was tackled and his stomach growls. Jin smiles, "Let's go in."
♤
I was right about June. He was my age. Twenty-six.
We were sitting at the kitchen island, in a change of clothes. June stood on the opposite of the island, devouring the chicken drumstick. Jin sat beside me, watching his brother with a smile on his face, sipping his beer. He refused to eat, claiming he was full when in reality I think he stopped his hand because there wasn't enough for three people.
Jin's one hand was on the back of my seat where I felt him subtly playing with the ends of my hair.
Fried chicken and beer was the best combination I've ever had.
June was telling me about the time Jin had to tie his feet together so he wouldn't leave his room while Jin had a party downstairs. "I'm not kidding, he had me tied to the floor of his bedroom, he tied my feet together so I wouldn't embarrass his stupid school party." June huffed at the sudden memory of that day but both brothers smiled at each other and started chuckling. I looked over at Jin and I was jealous. He laughed with his eyes turning into crescents but I wasn't the one who made him laugh.
Jin said, "I told you that you can't crush my party, Jun-ah. You were only eleven." June scoffs, "That's right. I was eleven."
"It was hardly for two hours."
"I had to pee!"
They both start laughing again. I smiled at them both.
When the laughing died down, June said, "I've missed you, hyung." Jin's eyes don't meet his as he nods, "I know. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."
"Eh, I'm glad I have you now. Did you like the Barbie underwear I sent you on your birthday?"
My eyes widen, "That was you?!" His eyes widen, "You've seen it?!" Jin groans, "Please, stop talking." We ignore him.
I say, "Yeah! He was wearing those for a whole day!"
"No way! Did you take a picture?"
"Sadly, no."
"I would've loved to see that."
"I would've saved it as my wallpaper if I could."
We break out in a laugh and Jin has been groaning beside me in embarrassment. I look over again with a smile and a warm smile spreads on his lips. His eyes glance down once to my lips but he moves his attention back to his little brother.
♤
"I like him."
He looks up as I walk out of the bathroom.
He's on the bed, leaning back his head with eyes closed until I walk out and tell him that like his little brother. He groans, "Yeah," I chuckle, "Are you still embarrassed about the underwear thing?" His eyes clench, "Please don't."
I lay down on the bed, putting two pillows vertically between us as he quietly stayed on his side, his fingers gently tapping on his chest as if a cat waiting for its move. I take a deep breath. "I had a good time today." He shuffles to face me, "Yeah?"
"Hmm. I don't remember the last time I had a good day like this."
"Me neither."
My hand itched to touch his face. To trail his jaw, his chest, and his stomach.
He closed his eyes. Not another word was said between us. I turned off the lamp on my side and settled down.
Five minutes passed and I knew he was removing the pillows from between us. He gently wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me closer. His bicep acts as a pillow for my head and my cheek is instantly warm with his chest. I don't wait for him when I drape my leg across his hip and pull him closer, draping my arm on his middle. His body stiffens, "You're not asleep, are you?" I nuzzle my nose into his collarbone and whisper, "Nope."
♤ ♤ ♤ ♤ ♤
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Love, Hope
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