[12 Years Later - 2007]
"Huh?" Is the first thing that comes out of eighteen-year-old Satoru's mouth when he was told of the sudden news by his homeroom teacher, Masamichi Yaga.
"Don't make me repeat myself." Yaga insists. "Suguru killed everyone in the village and--"
"I heard you the first time." A hint of annoyance can be heard in Satoru's voice. "That's why I said, Huh?" He clearly wasn't pleased by what he had learned that afternoon.
Yaga would also mention, "Suguru's old home was already an empty husk, as well. Though, from the bloodstains and residuals, he most likely killed his parents, too--"
"LIKE HELL HE DID!" Satoru assumes that this was a joke of some kind, no matter how messed up it would've been it if really was; his closest friend, one of his only friends, had committed mass murder despite being so good-hearted? Who exactly would believe it on the spot?
"Satoru." And from his own share of experiences, Yaga has never seen anything like it either, so his own input hardly done any good for Satoru. "I don't understand what's going on, either." He looks as though he was undergoing his own share of distress, but he was keeping himself composed unlike Satoru, who has yet to process this new mess.
~•~
It wasn't long before the culprit himself, Suguru, was spotted at Shinjuku. Satoru hadn't thought twice in confronting him once he caught him in his sight, in the middle of a wide sidewalk that was apart of a plaza. "Explain yourself, Suguru." No civilian that was tending to their own errands and whatnot would pay any mind to the conversation that he and Suguru were now going to have.
Suguru refuses to even spare his former friend a look. "You already heard from Shoko, right? That's all there is to it."
"So you're just going to kill everyone who's not a sorcerer?" Satoru expressed pure anger from his end. "Even your parents?!"
"I can't allow my parents to be a special exception." Suguru says simply. "Besides, those people aren't my family anymore."
"That's not what I was asking!" Satoru felt as though his patience was being tested at that moment. "I thought we weren't allowed to kill when there's no point to it!" He contradicts Suguru's new philosophy with his old one, now implemented into Satoru.
"There is a point to it." Suguru admits that he has begun to have a change of heart. "Significance, too. Even a great cause."
"There's not!" Satoru protests. "You're going to kill all non-sorcerers and create a world of only jujutsu sorcerers?! You know that's impossible! There's no point in chipping away bit by bit at something you can't possibly do!" He probably knows, deep down, that it is possible but the thought that Suguru himself would do that kind of dirty work brought him great devastation; because then that would mean they were no longer comrades or friends, but now enemies.
"How arrogant." Suguru grumbles.
"Huh?!"
"You could do it, couldn't you, Satoru?" And just like that, Suguru had contradicted Satoru's belief instead. "Yet you would try to convince someone else that it's impossible to do something that's possible for you?" Suguru would finally turn to Satoru and make eye contact, before offering the question, "Are you the strongest because you're Satoru Gojo? Or does being the strongest make you Satoru Gojo?"
"What are you trying to say?" Satoru struggles to understand Suguru's point, however.
"If I were able to become you, this foolish ideal would become a lot more grounded and real, don't you think?" Satoru doesn't say anything to that rhetorical question. "I've decided how I'll live my life. Now it's just a matter of doing the best I can to achieve that." Suguru would continue to walk forward, his back facing Satoru once more as the distance between them begun to grow.
On instinct, Satoru got into a fighting stance, just a snap of a finger away from launching an attack at Suguru; an attack that could kill Suguru right then and there.
Suguru's right there in front of him. So then why is Satoru hesitating? Why is he doing nothing but standing there like an idiot?
"If you want to kill me, then kill me." Suguru doesn't turn back whatsoever, despite being aware of what Satoru was planning to do. "There would be a point to that."
But before Satoru had knew it, Suguru had disappeared into the crowd of civilians, and was gone. And by that point, Satoru would then decide to retreat back his extended arm, clenching it into a tight fist that expressed his frustration. At the end of the day, no action was taken to contain Suguru, let alone to fight him.
~•~
Satoru sits on the school entrance's steps in silence, sorting out his internal conflict to the best of his abilities now that he was to pursue the rest of his high school life on his own. He doesn't even notice that Yaga was walking down the steps, heading his way, until he asks, "Why didn't you pursue him?"
"You're actually asking me that?" Satoru stays put at where he sat.
"Nah, it's fine." Yaga already knew what the reason why, but he still hoped that a different reason would come about instead. "My bad."
Satoru hesitates to ask. "Sensei, I'm strong, right?"
"Yeah, brazenly so." Yaga replies back immediately.
"But apparently, it's not good enough for just me to be strong." Satoru deduces. "The only ones I can save are those who are already ready to be saved by another." His eyes narrows in genuine anger as he says, "When I was talking to Suguru...I wasn't even thinking. Like, at all. When I saw his face, all that I can think about was how familiar it was to..." He chooses not to finish that sentence and replaces it with another question, "Sensei, (L/n)-san was strong too, wasn't she?"
Yaga hums in reaffirmation. "She was exactly what this world needed. To even imagine what she could've done if she was alive today...she would've gotten along well with Suguru and Shoko, there's no question there." Satoru presses his lips together when he had tried to contain his growing anger, his shoulder quivering slightly as he clenches his hands into tight fists. "(Y/n) was always worried about your upbringings; how you'd turned out to be, even if she were around. But, as far as I'm concerned, you've become the best person you could be. I truly do believe that."
"You're supposed to say that..." Satoru rejects that statement. "You're my teacher." He stifles out a dry laughter. "Even now, because one of your students have gone rouge; who knows if the other two will do the same, right?"
"Whether you chose to believe me or not is none of my concern either way." Yaga sighs in disapproval. "I can't force you to think a certain way, nor move on from all of this mess." He begins to walk back up to the steps, allowing Satoru to continue his alone time. "All of that is entirely up to you; above all others things that she had wanted to teach you, (Y/n) had always wanted you to develop a mind of your own. She, alone, had truly thought that you were more than just the strongest, and she would have wanted you to see that, too. Especially now."
Satoru doesn't think he can believe in himself to that extent; maybe he had before, but now that he had realized how messed up he was for being so egotistical and obnoxious and reckless, he couldn't have helped but to despise himself. Not to mention the fact that he was only strong in the first place because of his powers, just as Suguru had questioned; was he really more than just the wielder of Six Eyes, when its that same kind of ability that enables him to be so cocky and easygoing in the first place?
He feels as though he had brought shame to his first mentor. He feels as though he had failed Suguru. And surely, he assumes, he will continue to fail everyone else.
~•~
Satoru doesn't even know why he had visited the bar that night. He couldn't stand alcohol since the first day he had tired it; he doesn't think he'll ever understand why Shoko was a fond of it, though he can easily guess it was probably just for the purpose of escapism.
Satoru resented alcohol, and the whole concept of intoxication serving as a comfort, yet he had spent most of that night drinking so many servings of beer. He couldn't stand the bitterness, but eventually he had gotten accustomed to canceling out the taste entirely, so that he can just run away from the responsibilities that awaited for him outside that bar.
He was so exhausted in the hours prior. Of the lectures from the higher-ups, his homeroom teacher, his underclassmen that had tried but failed miserably in encouraging him to pull through. -- He told himself that he needed this leisure time. He hopes that he can forget his name, his past, the present; everything that was of the outside world. He even wishes to stay inside this bar for all of time, if it meant he wouldn't have to do anything else but stay put at the stool he sat on.
Easier said than done.
If anything, the drinking was worsening Satoru's despair; the memories of what had happened in the days before kept on flooding his mind, reminding himself constantly he was now alone once more. Can't he just be an idiotic guy for once, a person who's actually acting his age and not out sacrificing his own life for people that don't even knowledge his existence unless they were involved?
All that Satoru can think to himself is how it wasn't fair. He had always hated the position that was born into, but this very scenario was completely different; he had felt true dissatisfaction of not only his family lineage, but the world. The world that was only continuing to be so cruel and agonizing for him, no matter how badly he had wanted to be happy.
But at some point Satoru had accepted the fact that the alcohol would do no good in getting rid of these troubling thoughts, so he throws in the towel and decides to leave the bar. He does so in a sluggish manner, because the drinks really had took a toll on his ability to remember how to move at all; it takes him a good minute to even depart from the stool alone.
The same time that Satoru returns to his original height, leaning against the counter to keep himself first, the juke box that was at the corner of the bar had begun to play its next song. In only the first few notes of the song, Satoru had recognized it, his body going stiff and his face turning pale when the realization had sunk in; that particular song was the first and only time he had ever danced with anyone. And that person would be none other than his late mentor.
~•~
"You're not supposed to carry me, (L/n)-san!" Five-year-old Satoru pouts at (Y/n), puffing out his cheeks to express his agitation. "When boys and girls dance together, the boy has to lead, don't they?"
(Y/n) laughs at this comment, securing her hold on Satoru as she continues to side step around the room; she followed along with the medley of the music that she had chosen to play in the background. "Yes, that is true, but girls can do it too, you know. It doesn't always have to be the boy. And besides, you're too short for me to dance with you properly."
Satoru was quick to yell back. "No I'm not! I'm a growing boy! I'm going to be super tall when I'm a grown up!"
"Yes, yes..." (Y/n) rolls her eyes. "But, for now, why don't you just rely on me?" She offers a closed-eye grin. "Because when you do get all big, you won't need me anymore. And that kind of...makes me a little sad sometimes; I love to see you grow, but, at the same time...it hurts a little. I like taking care of you." A faint blush colors her cheeks as she then asks. "I love everything about it; when we first met you were much smaller, and now, in just months, you really have gotten a little taller, and much more heavier, that's for sure..." She uses a hand to tickle Satoru's stomach, to which earns her a couple of giggles from the boy that was still carrying and waltzing with.
"I like having you to taking care of me, too!" Satoru admits flat out.
"Of course you do!" (Y/n) laughs with him. "Who wouldn't like having me around? I'm a delight!" More laughter comes about from her and Satoru.
Satoru takes it upon himself to wrap his around (Y/n)'s neck and rest his face against one of her shoulders, allowing (Y/n) to continue waltzing around the room as he relished her warmth. "When I'm as big as you, (L/n)-san, I want to dance with you again. I'll be taller than you, and then we can really waltz, like those princess and princes in those storybooks."
(Y/n) hums in agreement. "Yeah. I can't wait."
Satoru didn't know what had came over him at that moment; maybe it was his exhaustion that was getting the better of him, or the comfort and enjoyment of being with (Y/n); or maybe even the comfort of the environment altogether.
One thing's for certain though; he didn't regret what he would say that night.
"I know I already have a mom, but..." Satoru hides his face into (Y/n)'s shoulder, attempting to hide his red face. "--...you're my real mom, (L/n)-san..."
A warm smile forms on (Y/n)'s face. She doesn't feel offended. Not in the slightest. Instead, she chooses to value that trust and love from the little; she tightens her hold on Satoru, clinging onto him like her life depended on it. She swear she was so close to crying; she could've if she wanted to, but she knew that if she had it would've been embarrassing for herself.
"You really do not know how special you are to me, Satoru-kun..." (Y/n) strokes the back of Satoru's hair with such care. "--...you always have been...and you always will be. -- And I'm sure there will be many more people that will feel the same way as I do. I hope you, too, believe that you are special; you're going to do so many great things. I just know it."
~•~
Satoru had managed to reach the juke box, resting his arms over the roof to the item; he stares at nothing but the vinyl discs that was playing from the inside of the machine, spinning as the needle initiates the playing of the song. -- The longer that he had stayed to listen to the song, the more sooner it became for him to reach his breaking point.
"You never know, Satoru-kun. Maybe there will be someone who's as strong as you are; and that way, they can fight with you and help you whenever you need it. Basically, you guys would be the strongest together! Doesn't that sound cool?"
'You're wrong, (L/n)-san...!' Satoru's breathing was becoming uneven the more he thought about it.
"How arrogant."
'There isn't anybody like that! There never was! And there never will be!'
"I'm going to help you move forward, I promise; you'll be okay."
'Because no one is as strong and kind as you are...!' Satoru couldn't bare the burdens of his heart anymore; he neglects his surroundings completely when he allows his vulnerability to get the better of him. 'I'm...!' The reality of his situation had hit him much harder than one can anticipate, as it was visible on his expression of pure agony. 'I'm so lonely...!'
The only thing that Satoru could do was cry his eyes out. It had been years since the last time he had done so, but he was too drunk out of his mind to even take into account that he was being nothing more than a pitiful fool for behaving this way out in public; the song had truly become his trigger for his breakdown.
Satoru could only wish for the presence of his mentor; he longed to experience the easy days of being nothing more than a mere child that was truly loved by one person alone. Indeed, in all of his live, in his eighteen years of living, there was only one person that loved him, as well as supported him and knew him better than anyone else, including himself.
"I miss you...!" Satoru whimpers in between his sobbing, talking directly to the juke box like it was an actual person. "I miss you..." He repeats it more quietly as he lowers his head to rest his forehead upon the front rim of the machine.
It's as though Satoru was asking for help from his late mentor. But even in his drunken state, he knew that it would do no good to actually ask for help flat out; hence the reason why he would just spend the next five minutes crying and grieving in silence.
For Satoru to even imagine how (Y/n) would react to all of his; the drinking, the argument with his friend, the failures of his job as a jujutsu sorcerer...Satoru had look into every reason there was into resenting himself, from beginning to end. Yet, the thought of how (Y/n) had always insisted otherwise, making sure that he knew how he was more than capable of being both nice and strong; before he even believed in himself, it was (Y/n) who had become the first person to ever do so.
It shouldn't have to stop now, Satoru thought to himself. His faith in himself shouldn't end now, he was the strongest, wasn't he? So shouldn't he prove it instead of just mopping around like this? Most definitely.
That same night that he had gotten drunk, Satoru had came to the conclusion that not only had he despised alcohol, now more than anything, but that, because he was now alone from this moment on, he had all the more reason to fight for something worthwhile. He has yet to discover what that was yet, or who it would be, but he was willing to start a journey to search for it; in other words his salvation. -- Because if there was at someone, at least one person, that had adored him and trusted him tremendously, surely he can offer the same aspects to others at some point, right?
Of course, that journey wouldn't start until Satoru had left the bar, to which he struggled to do because of his state; so much so that he had to ask help from the workers. "Can someone call me a cab?" He couldn't even let go of the juke box he was now holding onto.
~•~
"I did what I could in looking into this kid," A cream-colored file is tossed gently when being placed upon the wooden desk that had stood in between Yaga and Satoru, amongst a classroom that only included them and no other student or faculty from the campus, "But there wasn't really much to record about him; no one from the Zen'in clan were aware of his existence until two to three years prior."
The same time that Satoru picks up the file and examines through what little data there was, Yaga adds more information to his explanation, to save his student from the trouble of looking at practically nothing, "His name's Megumi Fushiguro. Appears as though Toji Zen'in really did sell him to the Zen'in clan. But, the kid's cursed technique is unknown, at least from the higher-ups' end; which makes sense, since he's only recently turned five. -- Looks like his mother is out the picture, too, so that leaves him as nothing more than a orphan that most likely has no idea of his family lineage, nor his parents in general."
Satoru hums, "Yeah, I figured as much..." He returns the file back to the desk and tells his teacher in advance, "Then, I'll go ahead and meet him myself."
"Oi, Satoru." Yaga stands up from the chair he was sitting on, meeting Satoru at an eye to eye level (since Satoru was standing up this entire time), "You're not actually going to adopt this kid, are you?"
"If it comes down to it, yeah, I will." Satoru declares, "I'm not planning on becoming this kid's father, nor am I trying to redeem myself for what I did to the guy; I don't regret killing Toji Zen'in." He tucks his hands into the pockets of his uniform trousers, "These past few days...with what's happened with Suguru...I've been thinking more on what I want do, and how I want to continue being a jujutsu sorcerer. It's as simple as that. And besides...I don't exactly need a reason to look after this kid in the first place; he's all alone. He has no idea of what his future will be like once he's bought by the Zen'in clan. -- I just want to get to know this kid on a personal level. I want to give him a chance to make his own choices, rather than just letting him become a victim of our messed up community; if we don't, he really might end up being just like his father. It'll be nothing but a repetition of history, but that doesn't have to be the case if we actually stepped in for once, don't you think?"
Yaga's eyes narrow in suspicion, "Satoru...I understand, very well, of where you're coming from. And I'm glad that you're actually working to improve yourself, despite everything...but if you really do claim a responsibility for this kid, you must do it for the right reasons; you have to do this willingly. Whatever happens to this kid...whatever he chooses he do, once he's in your care...it will be accounted for on your reputation." He says this as a warning more than just mere advice, "Make sure you don't mess this up, you hear me?"
Satoru can't exactly blame his teacher for saying this; he's not one to approach certain responsibilities with any seriousness, especially in missions. -- But this certain task is different from all the others; he would actually have to take care of a literal child, a life that was to be valued in all aspects (but of course, in this child's case, it could applied to money, too).
"Yeah, yeah..." Satoru decides to now dismiss himself from the classroom, "Wasn't exactly planning on doing the opposite." He begins wandering around the hallways of the school, attempting to return back to the dormitories.
But, as of now, it hadn't been easy for Satoru to just go for a peaceful stroll around the campus; everywhere he'd go, whether it was the courtyard, or the classrooms, or the training field, he'd only remember those easy times of being a cocky brat that had someone to keep him in his line; the only other person that he could trust on the battlefield, and outside the battlefield too; the only person that was the second best in understanding him better than anyone else.
It was nothing but torture for Satoru; he'd never imagine him experiencing this kind of pain again, but here he was. He felt pathetic; it's a strange yet a familiar feeling, and he despises himself for even allowing himself to undergo that kind of emotion at all. He was the strongest; he wasn't one to cherish the human life, he could care less about that. He was a jujutsu sorcerer, not some kind of savior that could ensure the safety of humanity altogether. So why was it now that he begun to care about his own morals? Because Suguru left and had degenerated in order to do so? Because he couldn't even muster up the courage to kill Suguru, and had relied more on his heart than his head for the first time?
Satoru thinks that he would've much rather preferred living the rest of his life being naive than how he is now, if anything.
"I thought I'd find you here." He's about to make a turn, still within the hallway, but he stops to follow his gaze to the voice he knew all too well, "I kind of overheard what you said back there." Approaching him would be the only classmate he had left, Shoko Ieiri, "You wanna talk about it?"
Satoru is certain that not even Shoko would comprehend his mixed up pile of feelings; and it's not like she can give good advice for a majority of the time. That was normally Suguru that had done that kind of work; he had kept the three together because of how easy it was for him to communicate, unlike the other two. So, without him around anymore, Satoru has no choice but to resort to her, as it was bothersome to keep these thoughts to himself.
"Yeah..." Satoru fakes a smile for the sake of her, "Yeah, sure."
The two are now sharing a bench at the school's courtyard; they relish the calm silence in between them, not wanting to rush the conversation in any regard. No words need to be shared at that moment; the two were close enough in already acknowledging the problem at hand, in this context that would be Suguru himself, and how he had chosen to stray away from the path of good, and possibly even sanity if you really wanted to look at it like that.
Hence the reason why Shoko would ask, "Does this have to do with Geto?"
Satoru isn't one to half-ass the truth. "Yeah."
Shoko is unfazed by the response, "Do you love him?" Satoru's eyes widen at the blunt question, "Is that why you couldn't kill him, even when you had the chance?"
"I..." Satoru doesn't struggle in coming up with an answer that only he, himself, would be satisfied with, "I don't love."
Shoko is now humored, "Don't be an idiot right now. We've all loved before. I'm sure you had, too. It doesn't necessarily have to be romantic, you know. I never even asked if you had loved Geto romantically, so..." A faint blush tints Satoru's cheeks, somewhat embarrassed by how he had fallen in such a joke; he's really been out of it if he's the one getting teased at.
"So then, you have loved?" Shoko prioritizes the more significant question at hand.
"A..." Satoru can't seem to look at her in the admits when he admits, "--...a long time ago, once." Yet he goes as far as to explain why that was, "There's..." He has to strain a smile so that he can disregard this reality as nothing important to his welfare, "--...even before Suguru left, there's always been nothing. You know?" He gestures to his chest as he continues to explain, "Just dry, and bare, and...it's like an empty well. -- The problem is that I didn't really realize that until now."
"And with this kid, you think you'll probably feel...something?" Shoko guesses.
Satoru shrugs, "I don't know, maybe. But I don't want to be this kid's father; of course, I can't prevent him from thinking of me that way, but I don't want to put myself in a position that'll convince me that I can't raise this kid in general; I don't want to prove myself that I'm something that I'm not." He rests his arms upon his knees and hunches in his upper body before slumping his head down in distress, "I don't want to do this because it's what Suguru would've done...I want to do this because I really do want to believe that...I'm a really good person, despite the fact that I'm just not empathetic, nor loving, as everyone else..."
"Without Suguru, who's always thought that I could actually be better...both physically and emotionally...it's been hard to keep that belief, you know?" Satoru concludes, "Ever since I was little, I've had this tendency to just...depend on people more than I should. I don't why I do it, in all honesty, but...it's better than being by myself. I think...I just don't want to stay alone."
The best that Shoko could say to that was, "Yeah, can't really blame you there..."
~•~
[The Next Day]
"You're Fushiguro Megumi-kun, right?"
The little boy that Satoru was following stops walking and turns his head, his pair of blue eyes meeting Satoru's the second that he hears his full name. "Who are you?" He's already skeptical of Satoru, and the look on Satoru's face didn't make it any better in the slightest, "And what's with that weird face?"
For a mere second Satoru had expressed disgust, displeased by how Megumi's facial appearance had been a carbon copy of Toji's; the spiky hair that was the only thing visible to him in the seconds prior had led him to assume that he wouldn't look a thing like Toji, so it was on his part for jinxing it, "You just look like him, is all.." He has to push up his glasses so that he can shake off his distraught and regain his composure.
Megumi reacts in confusion, and Satoru has to clarify to him, "My own issue." And right away he proceeds the discussion, "So listen. About your dad...he's from this big shot jujutsu sorcerer family called the Zen'in, but they're such scumbags they make even me sick, and that's why your dad left the family and had you. Now, you're one of the ones who can see things, so you're privileged there, right? You've noticed the power within yourself, too, yeah?"
Satoru holds up his arms to make eccentric hand gestures, "The Zen'in clan just loves strong powers. Most become aware of their cursed techniques around 4 to 6 years old. So it's the perfect timing to sell a kid off. So, Megumi-kun, you were the ultimate card that your dad kept on hand against the Zen'in clan, pisses you off, doesn't it?" He crouches down to Megumi so that he can initiate the conversation more properly, "So, about that dad of yours. I ki--"
And to his shock, Megumi had disregarded anything that revolved around his late father, "I don't care. I have no interest in where he is or what he's doing. I haven't even seen him in years, so I don't remember what he looks like. Though I get the general idea from what you just said. --Tsumiki's mother hasn't come home for a while now, either."
The window of an apartment room -- on the second floor of the apartment complex Megumi was walking towards to -- slides open and a little girl, most likely in Megumi's age range, pops her head out and recognizes Megumi, "Ah, Megumi's home!" Leading one to assume that she was the same girl that Megumi had just mentioned a few seconds ago, Tsumiki.
"That means they're finished with us..." Megumi deduces, glancing over to where he had hard his step sister, "--...and they're off enjoying themselves elsewhere, right?" He takes a few steps away from Satoru, kicking some pebbles that he found among the road of dirt, rather calmly at that.
Satoru is now concerned in how well this little boy was taking all of this, "Are you really a first grader?" Though, if anything, this was better for him; he was kind of worried that would end up being the emotional support for the abandoned boy, but now that doesn't look like it'll be the case, "Well, whatever. If you ever want to know about your father, you can ask me." He then stands back up before adding, "I think it'll be pretty interesting to hear."
"Now, on to the main point." Satoru transitions the discussion to the decision itself, "What do you want to do? Do you want to go to the Zen'in?"
Megumi doesn't chose right away, but instead asks, "What will happen to Tsumiki? If I go there, will Tsumiki be able to find happiness? It all depends on that."
"No." Satoru is straight to the point, "A hundred percent no. I can say that with certainty." Megumi sends him a scowl that expresses his disapproval, which was all that Satoru needed in knowing what this little boy had wanted to do. Such a visible expression causes Satoru to laugh a little, "Okay!" He's more than happy to step into this situation, "Leave the rest to me, then." He pats Megumi on the head a few times and starts to taking his leave, "I might need you to push yourself a bit, though. So do your best."
In the most genuine way possible, Satoru advises to his new student, "Get stronger. Strong enough to keep up with me."
~•~
[Two Weeks Later]
Though he had said he wasn't intending on becoming a father figure towards these two children, Satoru could easily give witnesses the impression that he was, indeed, a father figure; he was supposed to serve as a benefactor, but he would tend to share breakfast with Megumi and Tsumiki, as well as drop them off to elementary school, and later on sharing conversations in the late afternoon, up until dinnertime.
While Tsumiki was welcoming towards Satoru (even if she had initially been skeptical of him), Megumi was rather spiteful; he refused to show any vulnerability towards his benefactor, nor was all that talkative around him. All that Satoru earned from him were hums and grunts, possibly a word or two if he was on Megumi's good side.
"Man, you two sure are lucky..." With every change he got, Satoru sought to make conversations with Tsumiki and Megumi, "--...I never got to go to public school, you see. Everything for me was self-taught; it was very weird and boring."
"That does sound boring." Tsumiki giggles at the thought, "But, I'm sure Megumi would think otherwise." She sends a smile at her little brother, "He doesn't like the school all that much." Megumi concentrates his gaze on his front view, refusing to spare a glance at neither Tsumiki nor Satoru.
"I can see it." Satoru agrees, "The kid hardly talks when he's around me, so I can assume he's like that with everyone else. Though, I'm just going to assume that he's just shy deep down." Megumi exchanges a scowl at his way, which influences the young adult to chuckle, "I'm only joking; I'm not going to force you to talk. I actually wasn't that much of a talker when I was little too, so I get it."
"You, Gojo-san?" Tsumiki found that hard to believe, "No way!"
"Yes way." Satoru reaffirms, "I didn't like the people back at my home, so I just chose not to talk unless I had to. Which was very rare."
Megumi refuses to let Satoru relate to him in any way, mumbling under his breath, "Would've been better if you had stayed that way..." Tsumiki hears this, however, and nudges him on the arm, rather harshly at that; Megumi, in response, sends her an agitated look.
The three eventually reach the main entrance of the school gates, and Satoru tells them in advance, "Make sure you two stay put here until I pick you up, okay? Even if it means waiting a few more minutes than usual."
"We've done just fine walking back by ourselves before you took us in." Megumi reiterates.
"Megumi!" Tsumiki forces him to falter from initiating some kind of argument, "Gojo-san is just trying to take care of us."
Satoru has to force himself to interpret Megumi's comment as a joke, "It's okay, it's okay, I get where he's coming from; I can't necessarily blame him. I mean, it was rather random for me to stop by your place for the first time." He crouches down to look directly at Megumi, "But, I really am looking out for you, Megumi; I am the adult here, so it's kind of my responsibility. Once you're all big and strong like me, maybe you'll get it; but, as of right now, you'll just have to make do with these accommodations. Even if you, really, really don't want to."
Megumi's annoyance towards the older male worsened by the second, but he wasn't going to make a scene out in public, "Whatever." He turns away and starts walking to the school building.
Tsumiki feels the need to apologize for Megumi, "Sorry, Gojo-san...Megumi's just really touchy about personal space so..."
"Don't even worry about it." This time, Satoru's smile was genuine; he didn't want Tsumiki to experience her own troubles, which in her case would revolve around her little brother. "I'm willing to be patient with him; we'll get there." He stands back up before he can dismiss her, "Now, you get to class. Make sure you learn a lot of new things today, you hear?"
"Yes!" Tsumiki smiles brightly, embracing Satoru's encouragement on the spot, "I'll see you later, Gojo-san!" She waves a farewell at him and starts following the other elementary school kids that were entering the campus.
Satoru stays put, even when he had saw Tsumiki going into the building. His smile disappear, almost immediately, when Megumi's words had sunk in; he realizes that Megumi obliging to the ultimatum -- all for his sister -- was different than him acknowledging Satoru as someone that was trustworthy and a legitimate adult figure that can provide more than just the practical benefits.
Sure, Satoru was their benefactor, but if you had looked beyond that role, he was a man that was, quite literally, the only person that could relate to Megumi's circumstance; he comes from a prestigious family lineage, a pawn that was set out to excel for his family and neglect his own agency since birth. -- Even before Satoru had met the boy, he had already feared for his future, whereas if he had chosen to just let the boy be and be bought by the Zen'in family; before Satoru knew, Megumi had became valuable to him, other than profit; he was nothing but a little boy that really didn't know better and would, without a doubt, be taken advantage of, just like what he had experienced in his childhood.
~•~
[1 Month Later]
"This kid is driving me crazy!" Satoru didn't think the day would come, but he had begun to reach his limit in raising Megumi; so much so that he has to vent to Shoko when they're eating lunch together, "He's rude, he's mean; he does anything to spite me! -- I'm not Toji, but I'm trying! And he doesn't appreciate it! Like, at all!" He can't even continue eating his own lunch because he's more focused on getting his feelings out into the open; he felt as though he was going to burst into bits if he hadn't.
"And I try to empathize with him!" Satoru states, "I try to look at his situation, but he's really just a stubborn kid!" He crosses his arms over his chest and slouches against his chair with a scowl, "He's not the only one who's been abandoned before..."
Shoko talks in between her chewing, "Kids are just like that; it's only natural that they'll be selfish. Of course that depends on the kid, but you've said he doesn't even remember Toji Zen'in, right?"
"Yeah." Satoru responds. "He didn't even care when I first mentioned about him. So I don't get why he's so persistent on refusing my help, for like, everything."
"He's lived by himself for quite a while." Shoko reminds him, "So, most likely, it's just wired into him that he has to be this...mature and serious kid that has to be an adult already; you helping him would, obviously, make it hard for him to continue thinking that way, when he really, really wants to. He might even interpret it as you mocking you."
"Mocking him?" The idea sounded preposterous to Satoru, "By helping?"
Shoko rephrases her point by asking rhetorically, "Kids just don't like being treated as kids; you've never felt that way before when you were younger?"
When Shoko had put it like that, Satoru had grasped a better perspective on the little boy that had drove him crazy, "All the time, actually..." He admits that he has, indeed, been degenerated because of how young he had first begun to contribute to the jujutsu community.
"Kids like Megumi just want to be develop their individuality, even if they are very young; has something to do with their self-esteem and whatnot; in Megumi's case, he had to without a choice in order to survive in this world, with only himself and his sister around. With an adult like you around to help him, he would just assume that you're only doing so because he's a child; the last thing that he wants to do is starting depending on someone now; money and goods are different, but when it comes to your relevancy in his life, that's something completely different."
Satoru kind of hates how accurate Shoko was in reading this predicament, "Yeah, that sounds about right..." He was now contemplating on his own capabilities of even raising Megumi and Tsumiki, "I thought I was cut out to do all of this, but now I'm not so sure..." He wears a saddened look that relays this mental dilemma, "But, I can't leave him, nor Tsumiki...because they're really nice kids, you know? Megumi's been giving me a hard time, but he really does make it easier for me whenever he takes care of the apartment and cooks his own meals, without me saying anything too..."
Shoko chuckles lightly at the confession, "You sound like a literal dad when you say that..." Satoru stays quiet on his end, reacting in annoyance as he pouts and stares her down; he neglects the fact that there was a faint blush coloring his cheeks. "The best thing you can do for him is give him the space he needs, even if you don't want to; respecting his boundaries will convince him that you mean well. Hopefully. -- Look, taking care of kids can't be done perfectly; if it could, we wouldn't have fucked up people these days, now would we? My parents have done plenty of mistakes in raising me. Yours have too. Everyone has experienced the backlashes; it's impossible not to."
"Still..." Satoru portrays disapproval as he says, "--...he's already experienced his own share of backlashes with his dad; because of that guy, he now believes that he has to do everything by himself, despite the fact that he's only in the first grade. No kid should think that way. And I'm sure, even if I do try to help, he'll still think that way in the future; he might get himself hurt in the battlefield, or worse...I can't always be with him once he's a jujutsu sorcerer, and..." A pit of fear began to whelm him stomach the more he thought about it.
"Then it's all the more reason why you just need to keep trying." Shoko says simply, "Give the kid some time before you go and make an irrational decision; it's only been a month."
"Like I said, I'm not going to leave them..." Satoru reassures, "--...it's just...really hard to take care of a bunch of kids." He always knew he wasn't suited for taking care of children, nor interacting with them, yet he wanted to make an effort in redeeming himself for his past mistakes; some way, somehow.
~•~
Satoru somehow convinces Megumi to draw together, on a Saturday afternoon that didn't require either one of them to do anything but rest. Tsumiki had a playdate a friend's house, so it was practically the opportunity that Satoru needed to spark something with the little boy, whereas Megumi doesn't have to feel forced to give any input with Tsumiki around.
Within half an hour of the quiet drawing session, Satoru had already finished his drawing: at first glance you can easily tell that it was a bicycle. "Finished!" He looks over at the other side of the table, where Megumi sat, and holds up the drawing for him. "You like my bike?"
Megumi wasn't impressed by the drawing's simplicity. "Why a bike?"
Satoru answers flat out, "I use to have a bike when I was little." He puts the drawing back down on the table. "I loved riding it around the park with my m..." He immediately corrects himself when he realizes how he was going to identify that certain someone that whelmed his thoughts. "I mean, with someone. Just with someone." A sheepish chuckle escapes his lips, and his smile came off, to some extent, forced.
Megumi isn't one to persist on personal matter, so he shrugs off the habit that he just assumed was nothing out of the ordinary for someone like Satoru. He goes back to his own drawing before mumbling out, "Weirdo..."
"Do you know how to ride a bike?" Satoru prolongs the conversation the best he could with such a straight forward question.
"No." Megumi is concentrated on finishing the drawing, yet he responds.
Even if Megumi isn't saying much, Satoru appreciates the willingness Megumi had in even responding at all; he notes that he is making progress. Slow, but at least a little, progress. -- After his conversation with Shoko, he's come to inherit a more flexible mindset when it came to the little boy that came from unfortunate circumstances.
"If you want..." Satoru offers a genuine smile to him as he suggests, "--...one day I can take you out and teach you how to ride. We can go to the same park I went to when I was your age. I also learned how to ride a bike there, too, so..." The thought of the fun he would have with both Megumi and Tsumiki brings him a wider smile. "I think it will really be fun. The three of us can then ride around the park, or around the city even."
Megumi hesitates. "Maybe."
Satoru gains more hope from the response. Though Megumi had attempted to hide his face under his bangs -- by slumping his head all the way down -- he can hear it in Megumi's voice that he was actually considering the idea; Satoru's behaved the same way, both in the past and even now, so of course he would what stubbornness looked and heard like. He was the embodiment of those aspects.
The following question that he had asked was definitely a leap of faith. "You never do talk about school. How's that going?"
"It's fine." It sounds as though the topic was rather touchy for Megumi. "Nothing ever happens, so it's not really important."
Yet Satoru feels the need to persist. "Do you not have any friends?" He says it jokingly, but deep down he was actually concerned that this was the case.
"Don't need them."
"Oh come on...not even one?"
Megumi deadpans at the grown adult, having to once again depart his attention from his drawing. "You don't have any friends. So you don't have any reason to talk."
Satoru says defensively. "I do so have friends! You've just never met them!" Megumi only rolls his eyes and continues with his task. "Seriously though, don't you feel lonely at school? Having a friend can actually make school not as boring as you make it out to be..."
"All my classmates suck." Megumi reasons. "They're a bunch of jerks. And I don't like jerks. So they can't be my friends."
"How exactly are they jerks?" Satoru assumes that Megumi's standards are justified, but he is curious as to what extent can these classmates be.
"They always point out my name is a girl's name." And just like that, Megumi began to vent. "And they always ask me about my mom and dad; they see you, but they already know you're not my real dad. The parents even talk about me and Tsumiki behind our backs; it's annoying. -- Everyone there really is a jerk. I don't like them."
Satoru can't even blame Megumi for coming to terms with that deduction. "Yeah, they really do sound like jerks." He takes back what he said a minute ago. "Then, forget about making a friend. I didn't have friends until high school, so don't even worry about it. You at least got me and Tsumiki." Megumi only hums in reaffirmation, his gaze concentrated on the drawing that he has yet to finish. His silence eventually convinces Satoru that there was something more than those terrible classmates.
"Do you...not like your name either?" Satoru contemplates on taking measures to take care of those classmates himself; it irks him to even imagine someone being insecure of their own birth name, especially if that someone was Megumi. And perhaps because Satoru has experienced his own insecurities too; he knew well how terrible those insecurities felt whenever he did try to move on with his life.
Megumi has to stop drawing in order to compose an answer, based on what he deemed was appropriate at that given moment. "I don't know." He's never thought about the question until now, because there were times he thought of his name as unique, and there were times where he had thought of it as degrading to his masculinity, or simply his image towards others; he despised it the most when his classmates would ask if he was either a girl or boy. And the fact that the person that had chosen the name was his own father was what kind of made it worse; though it he never knew the guy, it felt like a burden of his nonexistent legacy, somehow. Megumi doesn't think he can explain it to Satoru right then and there.
"Your name means blessing, doesn't it?" Satoru brings up, to which earns him Megumi's attention once more. "Maybe it just goes to show that you were fated to meet me. Because, if I'm really being honest Megumi, you really are a blessing in disguise. To me." Megumi's eyes glistens underneath the lights of the room, his reaction being that of astonishment. "I was really going through something before I met you, but after I decided to take you and Tsumiki in...my troubles really...how do I explain it...aren't as bad as they use to be. And that's because of you two. -- I like hanging out with guys, as well as having meals, walking to school...besides, I really do like your name; it sounds nice. And it really does suit you."
Megumi feels warms inside hearing all of this. He likes it. But he hates it that he likes it. Why is it that he was happy to be praised of his birth name, by some man he hardly even knew nonetheless? He shouldn't even be caring about anyone's opinion in general, he's always strived to behave the way.
"But of course, if you want to legally change your name, I'm totally okay with that too." Satoru assures. "I mean, your dad did give you it, and knowing him I wouldn't blame you if you had wanted to detach any--"
"No, it's okay." Megumi interrupts, containing his smile to the best of his abilities as he tries to keep his gaze on his drawing. "I like my name." He can feel his cheeks burning from the embarrassment that whelmed him, which is clearly visible to Satoru from his end of the dining table.
Satoru exchanges a smug look. "Do I see a smile over there?"
"Shut up!" Megumi's face turns into a darker shade of red. "My face just feels itchy, that's all!"
The sight of him being flustered brings out a bubbly laugh from Satoru, the first he's ever done so in a while.
A/n - I was distracted by school, so I apologize for not updating until now; I literally have so many essays to do, and I'm still waiting for grades to come back (I'm a 3rd year in college) -- not to mention that I have a winter class I'm doing right now, so please be aware that I'm trying to update to the best of abilities, whenever I have the free time
Other than that, thank you so much for the support that you have given to this book! Whether it's commenting or voting, you guys make this story possible, truly!
I would also love it if you gave even MORE support if you guys drew fan art, or even playlists even; I don't know, I just love creative certain readers can be when it comes to fan fictions, so I would really love it if you had a couple of works done! -- If so, contact me through my private messages or make a TikTok and share it with me (or tag me on the app through @ fun_size03)
Stayed tuned for the following chapter and my other JJK work! Until then!