𝐎n Christmas morning, Eden was still fast asleep when a noise woke her from her slumber. It was coming from her drawer. The bedside table vibrated and she groaned before reaching out to try and open the drawer with her eyes closed, but when she couldn't, she sat up, her hair a mess, and opened the drawer.
Mattheo's gift pack flew out, freed from its spell, and fell to the floor, motionless again. Eden bent down to pick it up and put it on her bed before taking out the letter and Elina's present. She started with her best friend's present and smiled when she saw the horror book. She had vaguely mentioned it to Elina and was touched that she had remembered.
Eden put the book on her bedside table and picked up Mattheo's present. She shook it, trying to guess what it was, but finally opened it, unable to wait any longer. It was a small, dark red velvet box. The redhead opened it and discovered a necklace. On it was a star covered in sequins.
She had never seen such a beautiful necklace. Eden put it around her neck and the star emitted a light before before it went out. She took Mattheo's letter, opened it and unfolded the paper. His handwriting was a little shaky and rough, which made the redhead smile. She was surprised by the gift, but especially by the letter. Mattheo had taken the time to write it.
«Marks,
Merry Christmas. I'm not very good with words and don't think this is a declaration of love, I'd rather be dead (try to imagine me laughing because it's humour, but on paper it's confusing).
I know this first Christmas without your parents must be difficult and I'm sorry you have to go through it alone.
But I hope you've been really angry about not being able to open my present early. It's not much, but I know you like stars and I thought of you when I saw it. I hope this settles our argument about me not coming to look at the stars with you!
The necklace should have glowed when you put it on, it's just a spell that binds it to you. You can't lose it because it will always come back to you. Have a good day, Marks.»
Eden laughed, what an idiot. It was good Mattheo not to sign a letter and she smiled. It might not have been much, but this letter and this necklace meant a lot to Eden. Once again she thought Mattheo did have a heart. The redhead got up and pulled on a warm jumper before going down to the Great Hall.
"Merry Christmas, Marks," Theodore said as she sat down.
"Merry Christmas, Nott," Eden replied.
Eden dropped a gift in front of him as he did the same and they laughed. She opened the present and grabbed the soft toy before handing it to Theodore.
"Seriously? A demon?" she said amused. "Thanks, it's so cute."
"What? I think he looks like you, don't you?" sneered Theodore as he opened a French textbook. "I'm going to get good grades with this, Marks but I still want you to be my teacher."
"We'll see," Eden said with a smile. She put the cuddly toy aside and poured herself some milk and ate a brioche. The snow was still falling and it was impossible to go outside in the knee-deep snow, but Eden and Theodore found something to keep them occupied. So, after playing chess and cards and scaring Miss Norris to death, they found themselves in the room of Requirement.
This time it was daylight and the sun was warming. The scent of flowers wafted through the air and Eden closed her eyes. Theodore lay on the grass with his hands behind his head and Eden rested her head on his thigh. The redhead picked up the book she had been reading and opened a page.
"I cannot make speeches, Emma...If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.", read Eden.
"I disagree, if I loved someone I could talk about it for hours," Theodore said. Eden looked up at him and shook her head.
"No, it's deeper than that," Eden explained. "They're in love, a passionate love, and it's so powerful that there are no words to describe the feeling. He loves her too much, but since there's nothing that could do justice to the power of his love, he doesn't talk about it."
Theodore remained silent, he didn't understand anything but he listened to Eden because she loved it and he loved Eden. She could talk about the most boring thing in the world and he'd listen. Eden thought about Mattheo, maybe she should have written to thank him for his gift, but she was afraid his father wouldn't be happy about his son getting a letter.
"Eden?" Theodore said. She snapped out of her thoughts and realised he was speaking. "Are you still reading?"
"Yes, sorry, I was lost in thought." The redhead resumed her reading and Theodore stroked her hair. Everything could have been perfect, but there was still that block that kept Eden from really being in the moment. She still couldn't figure out where it came from.
"if a woman doubts as to whether she should accept a man or not, she certainly ought to refuse him. If she can hesitate as to 'Yes,' she ought to say 'No' directly. It is not a state to be safely entered into with doubtful feelings, with half a heart.", read Eden.
She pursed her lips, that part was badly timed. She hadn't given Theodore her answer yet and she hoped the reading wouldn't make him think about it. She closed the book and sat up, looking at a flower that was opening.
"There must be a book you like, right?" asked Eden. "Even if it's something porny."
"I just look at the pictures, that's all," Theodore giggled. Eden nudged him and he laughed before placing his hand on her cheek and stroking her skin with his thumb. She watched him, her eyes gliding over his lips before returning to his eyes. He had everything she needed to love him and yet she couldn't. She loved him, very much, but it wasn't enough to love him the way Darcy loved Elizabeth or Romeo loved Juliet.
Maybe she loved him, but it wasn't enough and Eden blamed herself because he was all she could have ever wanted, yet when he leaned in to kiss her, she didn't push him away and parted her lips, letting their tongues brush against each other. Theodore was gentle, nothing like Mattheo, but Eden was sure that Mattheo could be gentle too.
Eden's necklace glowed slightly at the thought of Mattheo and she felt like she was doing something wrong by kissing Theodore, so she pulled back and rested her forehead against his.
"We should go for a walk," she said as she stood up.
This was getting too serious and she was afraid Theodore was going to ask her for an answer. She didn't have one, she didn't know. He stood up, took her hand and left the room. Eden tried to shake off her unease, but she couldn't. The redhead put on a cloak and a scarf and went outside.
The cold made her shiver and her cheeks flushed. Hagrid had just cleared the snow to create a passageway and she took it, walking in silence. It was magnificent and she wanted to freeze the moment. She gasped and screamed as she felt a snowball burst in her face.
"Theodore!" Eden turned to him and growled. He laughed and shrugged and she sighed before picking up some snow and throwing it at him. He dodged and she ran off, trying to push him into the snow. Their laughter echoed in the air. Theodore stumbled and landed face down on the ground, covered in snow. Eden laughed, unable to stop herself, and Theodore reached up and grabbed her wrist, knocking her to the ground.
With a shriek, Eden fell and sinking into the snow and she laughed harder. Out of breath, she looked up at Theodore above her, and this time it was she who kissed him first. The snow started to fall a little more, the flakes washing over them, covering them little by little, but it didn't matter.
"I love you," Theodore whispered. Eden froze as he pulled back a little and watched her. There was a gleam in Theodore's eyes and he stroked her lips. "You don't have to answer, I just had to say it, Eden. I ... I love you and I'll wait if you need time to think."
"Theo ....," Eden sat up, feeling cold and leaning on her hands. "I... I'm going to hurt you, I... I don't want to hurt you." She knew she could never love him the way he wanted her to, and it hurt because she loved him anyway, but not enough.
"To love is to suffer, isn't it? At least that's what your books taught me. And like Darcy said or whatever the guy, if I'm going to be hurt, I'd rather be hurt by you than anyone else." Theodore let Eden up and she rubbed the snow from her trousers, her eyes burning.
"I need... time," Eden breathed. But she knew she should say no, She had read it well earlier, if the answer wasn't yes, it should be no. The star around her neck weighed heavily and she cleared her throat. "I ... I have to go ... change, I'm cold."
She didn't wait and ran to the castle. Her heart felt like it was going to explode and she climbed the stairs before slamming the door to her dormitory, stripping off her clothes and letting her tears flow. Why was she so lost? This year was different from all the others and she didn't like it, it was too complicated and she felt herself sinking.
She sat on her bed and touched her star, she thought of Mattheo and wondered what he was doing, it was ironic because she was sure he wasn't thinking of her.
Mattheo stared at the ceiling of his room, sighed and turned his head towards the window. The snow was falling and he sat up, running a hand through his hair. The floor of his room was littered with letters rolled into a ball. They were all addressed to Eden, but he hadn't sent any of them, she probably wasn't thinking about him, and his heart broke even more than it already was.