[KULANI]
I have another visitor today. The only difference is that I did not see this one coming. Nikiwe is here – looking like she carries a heavy heart. We are sitting on the balcony and she’s been holding that glass juice like that ever since she arrived – silently with both hands. I am just glad Kurhula is at work because I am in no mood to be putting out fires between him and the mother of his child. She’s waiting for AK because he went out with Fikani and Mabontle.
‘The fact that I have to give on my son Kuli…’ a tear drops.
‘But no one is forcing you to’
‘He falls sick when he’s at home. I am obviously being forced to choose between his presence and his health and I’d never choose the former over the latter. What kind of a mother would I be?’
‘It wasn’t the first time?’ I ask. She shakes her head.
‘It was the third. He was still a new-born the first time it occurred. I had to bring him here so he could officially be introduced and have ritual done for him. Kurhula and I were already over by then’ she takes a biscuit from the plate in front of her.
‘May I ask what went wrong?’
She throws her eyes to the far mountain. She keeps them there and I understand. I love sitting here because of the scenery.
‘Besides his arrogance, we were just never meant to be. Are you sure they are on their way back?’ she checks her watch.
‘Let me call them’
I try Mabontle and she guarantees me they’re coming.
‘You can always call me if you want to spend some time with AK whenever you’re home’ I assure. She looks at me and smiles.
‘You must think I am a terrible mother…’
I bring my juice to my lips. I have no answer to that. I actually do, but if I speak my mind we might fight.
‘I am not an irresponsible slay queen Kuli. I know that’s what he told you. I have a job that keeps me away from home’
‘A job?’
‘I am a flight attendant. Been one for two years now. I just don’t want to prove Kurhula wrong. I want him to continue believing the crap he wants to believe about me’
‘And Dubai?’
‘My boyfriend works and lives there’
Wow. It’s true when they say there’s always two sides to every story.
‘I know that I could’ve spent more time with my son but I cannot cut myself into three’
I am having an unsolicited reading of her. Her lips are moving but I can’t hear her.
‘Nikiwe?’ I call and she stops talking.
‘Yes?’
‘Where are your parents?’
She frowns.
‘Uhm… what do you mean?’
‘Where are your parents?’
‘Why are you looking at me like that, Kuli? You’re scaring me’
She’s about to get on my nerves. Why is she not answering the question?
‘They died’
‘In a car accident?’
She nods. I burp and she almost stands up from her chair.
‘This is getting creepy’
‘Sit down’
She sits and I massage the middle of my brows. This part hurts when I’m struggling to see the full picture. Kokwan’ Mavengana once told me that this is where my third is and it made sense.
‘What did you do after the incident?’
‘We buried them’ she speaks like I’m asking a dumb question.
‘You need to fetch their spirit from the R537’
‘Fetch them how?’
‘I’ll help you if you—’ – a strong burp leaves me again – ‘If you allow me. You also need to make sure that your big brother ensures that they get married so all your paths open. For all of you’
‘Marry while dead?’
I nod.
‘But Jake is unemployed’
‘You can help him financially as sisters but the cow needs to come from his pocket. If he asks well, he will find the means to buy it’
Fikani appears with AK and he immediately runs into his mother’s arms.
‘Mom!!’ he screams in pure excitement. She receives him with the same energy, so much that her beverage spills.
‘Where’s Bontle?’ I ask.
‘She had to dash to the loo quickly’
From his facial expression, I can tell that she couldn’t hold it in anymore. Pregnancy? The pits. I developed a habit of slightly peeing on myself during my last trimester. The bladder just starts malfunctioning.
‘Hi. You must be Nikiwe’ Fikani humbly greets her through a handshake.
‘Yes. I heard Kurhula has a twin. Didn’t believe it at first’ she says and he laughs. Fikani is shy around strangers, which is another difference between him and his brother. Kurhula gets strangers to be shy around him. That look in her eyes? This girl is visibly mesmerized and I’m confused. How are you going to be charmed by a person who is a duplicate of your ex? An ex you hate?
‘God really hates me because why were you not the one I met first?’
He gets awkward and scratches his neck.
‘It was nice meeting you, mhana AK. Work needs my attention so let me…’ he points inside the house with his thumbs.
‘He’s so humble oh my word. You’d swear they’re born from different wombs’
‘He is married to my biological sister so I am not going to allow whatever it is you’re trying to do here’ I warn. I am not joking.
Besides, this is literally her child’s other father. What the hell does she mean? Nxn, she has ruined my entire day. She is now covered in shame. As she bloody should!
…
[NARRATED]
Fikani finds Kurhula sleeping on his back on the coach, hanging his one leg on the arm rest.
‘Still not feeling well?’
‘Voetsek wena. This is all your doing’ Kurhula cusses him out and puts his wrist back on his forehead. Fikani laughs at the irritation thick in his voice.
‘I’ve been apologizing from the hospital. This is my last one. Sorry bro’
‘I hope this is your first and last kid otherwise I’m going to shoot you in the nxts, I swear’
‘I fully believe you. Here…’ he hands him a blue Powerade and Kurhula receives it. ‘Hopefully this gets your energy levels up’
‘Thanks’
‘Remember when you said my sperm is lazy? Would you look at yourself now? The very same sperm is single-handedly ruining your life’ Fikani laughs. Kurhula gives him the middle finger.
‘You wish. If I didn’t have terrible “friends” then maybe, the situation wouldn’t be this bad’
Fikani frowns as he takes he takes a seat next to his brother’s head.
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘That dog Sylvester almost wiped me off on Monday’
‘Who the fvck is Sylvester?’
‘Went to boarding school with him. He poisoned my drink and luckily enough, I just had the urge to leave the scene early otherwise I’d be history right now. When I get my hands on that mongrel…’
Fikani sits back in silence.
‘You said he’s Sylvester who?’
‘Mkhari. No wait a minute… I never said his surname. What are you thinking?’
‘Nothing. Just curious’
They both turn towards the door when they hear Mhan’ Xongi’s voice – with Kurhula promptly getting up like The Undertaker with a sharp frown on his face. She looked way better than she did the last time they saw her.
‘It’s so nice seeing both you sitting together like that and getting along’
‘What are you doing here, Hixongile?’
She swallows after Fikani’s question.
‘And how did you get past security?’ Kurhula asks.
‘Please hear me out. I am willing to make things right’
‘What things? Nobody needs you here anymore’ Fikani jabs. She drops her face.
‘You weren’t there when we needed you the most. You blatantly said no and now you think you can magically appear? You think you can abracadabra your way back into our lives just like that? Open sesame? Xongi, this is not a fvcking circus. Take all the witchcraft you have packed in that bag and leave’ Kurhula says and tries to stand up. Fikani holds him down by the upper arm.
‘I will be at Gezani’s house if you two ever change your minds. Can I at least ask one of the drivers to take me? It’s dark outside and my taxi has already left’
‘Do whatever the fvck you want to do. Just get the hell outta here’
‘Fikani I am still your mother’
‘Crazy how it took you three whole decades to remember that’
She walks out with her tail in between her legs. Kurhula storms off to his bedroom and leaves Fikani in the living room. He walks past Mabontle who’s on her way down. She looks at him, then at Fikani.
‘What’s going on?’ she asks. Her husband sighs.
‘Come here’
She approaches him and he gets her to sit on his lap.
‘Did you guys fight?’ she asks, curious to know the cause of the tension.
‘When Kurhula and I fight, the blood will be the first to let you know’ he jokes. She laughs when she remembers how they once shot one another.
‘Join me in the shower?’ he intentionally deviates from the issue at hand. She kisses him and they smile against each other’s lips.
‘I could never say no to that’
…
[LARONA]
‘You’re surprisingly a very good cook’ Kurhula says after cleaning out his plate. He asked for the same simple dish I had made the other day and the only reason I said yes is because circumstances did not allow him to enjoy it the other day.
‘Surprisingly?’ I lift a brow as he packs our dishes away. I am seated on my rug in front of the couch. ‘
‘You know how we’re raised’
‘Fair, but I was raised by a MaNtuli. Sweet and slightly more understanding, but still a MaNtuli. The royal status did not fly with her’
He chuckles. He pours himself the cognac he came along with and asks me what I would like.
‘Just water please. I want to be sober for a while. I’ve been drinking my sorrows away in the past few days and I am beginning to judge myself for that’
He gets me half a glass from the dispenser, then comes to sit behind me.
‘Don’t skip over me. I won’t grow’ I say and he laughs out loud.
‘Don’t tell me you believe all those myths. And you’re already vertically challenged and surely have been for a while now. There’s no chance for you to grow’
I turn around and shoot him a look. He smiles and puts his hands over me – lightly hugging me.
‘I’m joking. I know how much offense you take over your height. But I don’t understand why. Yes you’re shorter than the average girl but you’re no midget’
‘Leave me alone Kurhula’ laughter escapes me. I’ve just realized that I’m always happier when he’s around. But we need to talk about what happened.
‘How are you feeling now?’
‘I feel a whole lot better. I feel like myself actually’
‘Do you know what made you sick?’
I’m not sure if Kuli told him.
‘I knew the day it happened. I just didn’t wanna scare you’
‘But you could’ve died?’
‘I took charcoal tablets on my way to the BnB. I would’ve went to the hospital if the situation got out of hand’
The veins on his hands are making me lose focus.
‘Do you know who did it?’
‘Yeah. Some guy I went to school with. He was actually my roommate for two consecutive years. I don’t understand why he didn’t kill me then because he had ample opportunities and time’
I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s just how he said this that kicked me over the cliff.
‘He’s probably still angry because you were probably bullying him’
‘You always think the worst of me weh’
‘Am I lying?’
‘Vester and I were good friends, or so I thought. So much that he was the kinda friend my family contacted when they were looking for me. We had tons of fun at school together’
‘You sound like enjoyed boarding school’
‘Didn’t you? Anything far from home was somewhat bliss for me’
‘Nope. I was forced to go there, kicking, and screaming – literally’
‘I believe you because you’re as stubborn as a donkey’
He mustn’t start.
‘Do you really think I’m a violent person?’ he asks. There’s a tinge of seriousness in his voice.
‘Violence? Nah. You just like bossing people around. You’re a bully in a soft way’
‘Pshh’ he exclaims and I laugh.
‘My first impression of you was that you’re a womanizer who thought they could get their way with every woman they wanted’
He gasps. ‘You and first impressions. I am not even going to ask how you arrived to me being a womanizer’
‘You give off man-whxre vibes’
He continues to laugh.
‘Please take me seriously, Larona’
‘Whaat? First impressions don’t have to be accurate’
‘I could never become a whxre. You guys are into heavy witchcraft these days’
‘Whose you guys?’
‘Women. Don’t pretend like you don’t know. Have you seen the queues outside traditional chemists? All women…’
‘Surely they’re simply looking for medication there. Aren’t you like supposed to see a sangoma for love portions and stuff’
‘There’s no healer who would give you something to control another person. That is a witch. Let’s call a spade a spade, not a garden tool’
‘But still. They sell these things in those shops?’
‘Eh, wa tlanga wena. You’re playing. Anyway, you smell good. What do you have on?’
‘Must be the vanilla spritzer’
‘You smell delicious. You smell like cookies’ he is busy sniffing me. He stops and pushes my hair away from my neck. His lips softly land there and I close my eyes and bend to the left. I feel my skin horripilate and I get goosebumps everywhere. His hands go under my blouse and his direct touch makes things worse. One hand goes on my bxxb and the other reaches under my pleated skirt, then slowly into my underwear. His finger starts massaging my clxt while he looks at me. I am losing control of my breathing. He goes down, finds his way inside the moist canal and I freeze. I cannot do this. I cannot get Prof’s face out of my head. I hold his wrist and ask him to stop.
‘Did I do something wrong?’ he asks.
‘No. I just—’ I find myself already on my feet. ‘Please leave’ I go open the door for him. I am still trying to catch my breath.
‘I’m sorry if I went too far’
He looks so guilty and he’s not responsible for the way I am feeling right now.
‘Can we at least talk about this? I am serious about you Larona. This is not just me being curious and wanting to slide it inside’
He was eavesdropping on my conversation? The embarrassment that is nibbling at my peace of mind right now.
‘What is it, then?’ I ask, even though the volume of my voice is disappointing me.
‘I won’t lie and say I don’t want the sex because I do. Pearl, you’re a bloody attractive woman. I do want to worship your body and make you feel my love for you since you’re not taking anything I say to head. I wanna dance with you under the sheets but above all, I want to do it at your command and permission. I want you to trust me. I want you to feel safe with me’
I do, if only he knew. I just cannot revive those demons again, I am sorry.
‘I did not mean to make you feel somehow today’ he says before picking his phone up to leave.
The guilt in his eyes is tripping mine.
‘Kurhula…’ I call after he walks out. He silently looks at me. I try to speak but I cannot find the words. A tear drops instead. I wish that damn man dies in his sleep tonight. He has ruined my life and I am certain that wherever he is, he’s carrying on like nothing happened.
‘Come here’ Kurhula says as he stands in the middle of the corridor and I run to him. He hugs me tight and I simply fall apart. My neighbour comes out and asks me if I am okay.
‘She’s fine’ Kurhula answers on my behalf.
‘Sure? Lala?’
‘My guy. Please don’t annoy me. We both won’t like the outcome’ Kurhula bites and Lefty goes back into his apartment.
‘What’s going on?’ he asks and raises my face – forcing me to look at him.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You’re a very jumpy person, baby. It’s even worse when I catch you off guard. You sometimes behave the same way aunty Lydia does whenever she’s touched without warning. It’s not only with me. I have also noticed how uncomfortable you get when Adv MK is around. Remember that day he asked you to accompany him to court?’
I nod.
'I could see the fear in your eyes, hence I jumped in and said you couldn’t go'
I am still silent. Kurhula is so bloody observant.
‘Talk to me. Was it your father?’
I know my dad is a horrible man but he’d never do that to me. I’ve walked and played in front of him in my underwear as a child and not once have I ever felt like he sees a woman in me. He’s always looked at me like the child that I am to him. I know I don’t like him much but I can’t help but take offense.
‘It happened at school. It was a lecturer. The only thing my dad did was use the incident against me. That is why I couldn’t secure articles’ I correct. My lip is trembling. He looks to the roof and clenches his teeth. He brings me to his chest again and says nothing.
‘Kurhula?’ I call. He doesn’t answer.