So much blushing.....
Our Chapter song is NEVERMIND.
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*Never mind ! It's not easy but engrave it onto your chest.
If you feel like you're going to crash then accelerate more, you idiot.*
-AgustD
01/01/2019 from Jimin's narration
I opened my eyes with a dry feeling in my throat and a slight headache. I felt someone's warmth on me. When I turned my head back, I saw Hyung's body hugging me tightly. My body was warm as he hugged me like this throughout the night. I woke him up because I was moving, and he stretched a little where he was and hugged me, even though his eyes were still closed.
''Good morning Jimin-ah...''
His voice was sleepy and rough, and the way he buried his head in the area between my neck and the nape of my neck and inhaled all my scent as if he wanted to finish it off, caused very different feelings in my stomach. I was tickled. Before I could get used to these butterfly feelings in my stomach, I jumped from where I was when I felt his warm lips and innocent kiss behind my ear. Hyung's eyes were almost closed due to lack of sleep, and he was also startled by my sudden move.
''Jimin-ah, what's wrong? Did I do something wrong.''
I didn't want him to misunderstand me, but my cheeks were red, I think I was whipped.
''Good morning to you too, Hyung. I got up to drink water. Yes water. I was going to go to the kitchen. Do you want some water too?"
Hyung smiled with his eyes closed and laid his head back on the pillow. When I ran to the kitchen, I thought that at least two glasses of water would calm me down a bit.
What we talked about that night was clear in my mind, but we were quite drunk. I didn't know if I had said something that I didn't remember or that I had embarrassed myself. I could tell from my dry mouth how much alcohol we had drank, because there was no other explanation for me drinking water as if I would never be hydrated.
After pouring a glass of water for Hyung to drink, I went to him. He was still sleepy and looked so cute. His hair was messy and his skin was whiter and kissable because he had just woken up. My cheeks were turning red, even though the thoughts in my mind were supposed to stay in my mind and not show themselves.
"Why are your cheeks red?"
I put my hands to my face and cursed under my breath at the warmth of my cheeks. My cheeks were giving me away.
Hyung laughed and drank his water and put the glass aside. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to sit next to him.
"Come here, let's see what's wrong with you."
I sat next to him softly, the reality that Hyung was in love with me was really hitting me.
He combed my hair back from my forehead and his fingers touched my neck sweetly. Hyung always had a weakness for my neck, but the fact that he was doing all this after confessing that he was in love with me caused different feelings in me. For example, why were the butterflies in my stomach flying further south and tickling there?
"Are you nervous because I slept with you?"
I immediately raised my gaze to Hyung and waved my hands.
''No Hyung. No never. I love sleeping with you."
When I couldn't look into his eyes anymore, I lowered my gaze to my hands and puffed out my cheeks.
''It's just... There's a lot we haven't talked about yet, and I'm scared.''
I felt Hyung swallow hard. Maybe when he was so eager to start something with me and had come so far, I seemed to be breaking his enthusiasm by making such sentences and I felt sad about it, but I couldn't be at peace unless the problems in my mind were answered one by one.
"We'll talk then, Jimin. There is nothing that we cannot talk about and resolve."
He was right. Therefore, I corrected my sitting position and gathered my legs under my butt, then looked at him seriously. My feet were bare and Hyung's gaze was on my feet. He silently covered my legs with the blanket on the couch. Min Yoongi was always checking me out without being obvious. His eyes were always on me, and he was seeing and intervening in things that I didn't even know if I needed at that moment. My heart felt warm with this thought. My silent hero. He was a very sweet man. When his gaze met my eyes, he froze in place when he saw that I was already looking at him and his lips.
''What happened?''
Since Hyung was sitting leaning forward a little, his sweater slipped off his neck, and his smooth neck presented a delightful view right in front of me. I couldn't understand why I felt like I had all my libido in one body in one day. Why did everything suddenly look different? I think I was little pervert.
I took my eyes off his neck with difficulty and looked into his eyes again.
''I'm very shy. I don't know how to act, Hyung."
The traces of worry on Hyung's face disappeared and his body relaxed. He was smiling.
''It's enough to be as you always are.''
I pouted and hung my head. Hyung pinched my pouting lips with two fingers.
''Let's have New Year's breakfast outside in a nice place.''
I took a surprised breath into my lungs and put my hand over my heart.
''No no.''
I jumped to my feet and my voice was louder than necessary.
''We can't go, Hyung. They notice us. That thing..''
Hyung looked into my eyes questioningly.
''They will notice you with me. That you're my thing."
Hyung raised his eyebrows again.
''Am I a 'thing'?''
I waved my hands quickly.
''No! I mean... Hyung, you're my thing now, right? That thing, you know..."
Hyung bit his lips and tried not to laugh. He also stood up like me and came with me. I was out of breath because I was talking so excitedly but Hyung was so calm. He held my shoulders and stroked my arms. Then I leaned my head on his hand as he caressed my cheek.
"So I'm your love?"
I nodded slowly and shyly looked into his eyes. While Hyung was taking a deep breath, he simultaneously approached me and the moment he held his breath, his lips touched mine. What a miraculous moment it was.
After his kiss left a numbing effect on my lips, he held my hands.
"Then let's go before it's too late."
I stopped where I was and this made Hyung stop and look at me too.
''Hyung, I'm scared. People might look at us weird if they realize we're in love with each other. ''
His smile grew.
''Jimin-ah... We have been going out and eating together for years. Do people need to know what we named among us right now? You were sleeping with me before yesterday too. You always had dinner with me. We did great things together and no one could say anything to us until now. ''
He was right. So, I slumped my shoulders in defeat. Maybe we used to be more than that. Were kisses really the only thing that had changed?
"But isn't it different now, Hyung?"
He had a very confident smile on his face, and it made me happy to see how seriously he took everything I said. He came to me again.
He leaned his forehead on mine.
''It's different, yes, I know. All this is different, we can continue everything slower. These body contacts are different, yes, but nothing has changed between us, Jimin-ah. As we grew together, my love grew simultaneously with you. I grew both my love and you. ''
He didn't say any more and we left the house without allowing me to say anything. I drove because his shoulder was still not healed. Most businesses were closed on the occasion of the New Year's Day, but there were still many people greeting the first day of the new year in most of the city. When we came to a cafe we loved very much in the past, neither of us talked and just watched the people passing by on the street.
I took my eyes off the window when I heard the notification sound on my phone. Taehyung was curious about me and was a little offended that I didn't tell him.
''Is there a problem?''
We made eye contact when Hyung looked at me with concern.
''Taehyung is a little upset that I didn't tell him. I guess everyone else does too. I feel remorse for leaving them there last night. ''
I bowed my head and allowed the dark clouds to surround me again.
''Don't be sad. I can guess what you're thinking. No one in the group will judge you or me. I'm sure of that.''
Taehyung already knew that I was in love with Hyung and supported me, but I wasn't sure about the others. Especially Hyung's family and my family. This would be a complete disaster. I had no idea how we were supposed to do it.
"Hyung, how about we keep this secret for a while?"
One eyebrow suddenly rose and he leaned back.
''Jimin-ah there is no need for this. I'll tell you if it makes you feel better. My mother knows my feelings for you and so does Namjoon. From the very beginning. You may be angry with me, but believe me, it was very difficult for me to fight these feelings alone. Without their support, I couldn't have remained sane for years with you. ''
I was looking at him in amazement. Did Hyung's mother know everything? And yet she treated me so well?
"Jimin-ah, you don't know what I was thinking for years until the day I told you about myself. I was aware of everything. There were two possibilities: either you would love me too, or your heart would prefer to love someone else, but I didn't want to interfere with you while doing this. And if you ever chose me, I knew we would need support because I knew we couldn't sustain any romantic relationship in a healthy way without the support of our family and friends. ''
I suddenly interrupted him.
"So if I hadn't chosen you, you would have just let me go? While you're in love with me?''
He turned his gaze to the window and swallowed hard.
''From the very beginning, I wanted you to be free and make your own decisions. Jimin-ah, this was the right thing for me. But now that I know you love me, I can never let you leave me."
I tied my hands on my chest.
''But you'd still watch me go. For someone else? What if I realized later that I was in love with you? What if someone else came into my life? ''
I saw him clenching his hands under the table and clenching his jaw. But he didn't say anything. I knew I had to break the silence.
''So, your mother knows? Namjoon knows?''
He nodded softly. I nodded at him with my red cheeks.
"Taehyung knows too."
I showed three fingers for him to add Taehyung to the list. But my face was turning red and I couldn't hold back my laughter.
"I don't think we need to hide from them, but let's continue as you wish."
I felt like my heart was going to explode. At that moment, the feeling that they would know what happened between us was intoxicating me, so I decided to hide it until I got used to it all. Hyung respected my opinion and repeatedly mentioned that the fundamental bond between us hadn't changed, only that our feelings had turned into love and that we now had kisses that we could bestow on each other, and he tried to make the situation seem quite acceptable to me, but he was actually more excited than me.
I knew that he did all this to stand strong against me. I never wanted to leave him in a difficult situation.
We spent the first day of the new year together and had a lot of fun, but after we came back, everything went back to the way it was before. After the New Year's week was over, Hyung's physical therapy started. We didn't see each other for a few days, and he kept sending me messages.
When we were not together, I clearly understood that nothing had changed between us, but when we met, there was an invisible attraction between us, and it was very strong. A strong attraction that draws me closer to him, his scent, his aura, everything.
Hyung couldn't look into my eyes for too long. Because every time he looked into my eyes, he was isolated from this world and separated me from the outside world along with him. He was telling me so much with his eyes that it was impossible not to be crushed under his gaze. Sometimes his gaze was very heavy on my heart.
He was my Moon.
I woke up from my bed after Hyung sent a message, and I had to balance myself so I wouldn't fall out of panic. Hyung's mother had invited me to dinner and wanted to see me. This was the first family meeting after what happened between me and Hyung, and I didn't know how to react. She was like my mother too; I had known her for so long that the fact that she knew about her son's love for me all this time made me think about the past too much.
It took me so long to decide what to wear that I did everything to make myself look beautiful in front of his family. After spending more than half an hour in front of my wardrobe deciding what to wear after getting out of the shower, I was both excited by the message I received on my phone and blushed by what Hyung said.
Since Hyung's family's house and my house were close, I left the house calmly and ran in to buy a bunch of flower from the flower shop on the road. The florist recognized me immediately.
"Jimin-ah, I haven't seen you for a long time, brat. Where have you been, Yoongi hasn't been here for a long time either. ''
I smiled at the old florist when he stood up from his seat and ruffled my hair.
''I didn't know you were waiting for us, I'll come more often from now on.''
He laughed with joy.
"Tell me, which feelings are you looking for an interpreter?"
I put my index finger to my chin as if thinking and hummed.
''Endless love, respect, devotion and attraction.''
The old florist quickly grabbed my shoulder and laughed loudly, then ruffled my hair again.
"Brat, are you in love?"
I didn't answer, but I was sure my cheeks were red.
''Well, I didn't ask anything. I think hyacinths will do the trick for you, what do you think? Do you like hyacinths?''
I looked around the flower shop and smiled when I saw the colorful hyacinths.
''They smell very nice, I love them.''
The old florist packaged the blue hyacinths for me with unhurried steps.
''I think blue hyacinth is the best. Sincerity is the common root of all these words you say, and the blue hyacinth represents sincerity."
After thanking him and paying, I continued on my way, smelling the hyacinths in my hand. I was both scared and excited. I would do my best to make everything go back to the way it was before. Hyung's mother loved me very much, and so did I, but the fact that she knew that Yoongi was in love with me was a sign that my cheeks would never get rid of to turn red, and I didn't want to react stupidly.
Therefore, when I rang the bell, I was trying to contain my excitement by springing on my feet. When Hyung opened the door with a big smile, my breath caught in my throat. Immediately afterwards, his mother called out with great joy.
''Jimin-ah finally, welcome.''
I immediately bowed forward ninety degrees in respect.
''Mom, don't embarrass him.''
She pushed Hyung aside and opened her arms to me. I felt my cheeks turning red.
''My beautiful son.''
She caressed my cheeks, and I gave her a warm smile. I handed her the blue hyacinths in my hand. I was smiling but I couldn't speak because of my shame. Hyung was looking at me with shining eyes. Hyung's gummy smile appeared again, and I was flustered just I was in front of the door.
We all laughed and went inside with Holy, who was wrapped around Hyung's feet and jumping. When Hyung's father, who was reading the newspaper on the sofa in the living room, saw me, he put his newspaper on the table next to him and stood up. I immediately bowed respectfully and greeted him.
''Jimin-ah welcome.''
He gave me a tight hug and grabbed my shoulder.
''You look like you've lost weight lately. Take care of your health.''
I sat in the corner of the sofa right across from him and we continued our daily conversations. Hyung was sitting at the other end of the couch and for some reason I could never make eye contact with him. More precisely, I was deliberately trying not to look at him. It would be difficult for me if I stayed close to him in front of his family. Because they didn't officially know us.
While Hyung was loving Holy with great joy, I was watching them from the corner of my eye, and on the other hand, I was listening to the reasons for the sudden decline in the stock market explained by Hyung's father. I smiled nervously.
''Holy! Come here you sweet thing."
My attention was completely distracted by Hyung holding Holy in his arms and talking sweetly to him. I came face to face with Holy, who was licking Hyung's face. As if the dog understood me, he snuggled closer to Hyung and licked his face. Ok. To put an end to my internal battles about not being jealous of a dog, I focused more on what Hyung's father had said about the stock market.
Hyung looked very relaxed, but I was quite nervous. I was reacting really stupidly so that they wouldn't understand that I was in love with him. I got up to help Hyung's mother, who always brought food from the kitchen to set the table, and we set the table together.
''Jimin-ah, we got on the phone with your mother, she is inviting us to Busan for a weekend and asked us to bring you along. You took care of Yoongi so much after his surgery and you never got to go to Busan, I guess your mom misses you."
I gave her a shy smile as I gently placed the glasses in my hands on the table.
''I missed them too. I think we can go as soon as possible. As soon as Hyung's physical therapy is finished."
She looked at her son playing with Holy out of the corner of her eye and smiled. I was experiencing strange emotions. In the past, these were not actions that made me think, but now everything I do or say has to do with my love for Hyung, which makes me blush.
When everyone sat at the dining table, I sat in the corner farthest from Hyung. Even my ears were red.
"Did you have a fight?"
When Hyung's father showed me and Hyung, we both looked at each other. Hyung was laughing and I was blushing. I quickly shook my head negatively.
''What's wrong with him? Where's the usual Jimin?''
I smiled nervously as I tried to swallow the kimchi in my mouth with difficulty. Hyung's father raised an eyebrow.
"You haven't bickered with Yoongi even once since you arrived. This is not quite normal. We are used to your noise. ''
Hyung's mother let out a cheerful laugh.
"We used to listen to Geum-Jae and Yoongi bickering. You all grew up so quickly."
When her eyes suddenly filled with tears due to her suddenly changing emotions, Hyung's father joined him.
''Jimin was sometimes the smallest among them. He would never leave Yoongi's side. When you got tired of playing, we would find you sleeping like two kittens in any corner of the house."
I swallowed hard. Everything felt so difficult. We truly grew up like a family.
''You have become a truly beautiful family. It is a chance for your destiny to unite with others. Namjoon, Seokjin, Taehyung, Hoseok and brat Jungkook. In times like these, friendships like you have are rare. Appreciate this. ''
My gaze was fixed on the table. I really didn't know what to say at that moment. I felt like we were betraying. It felt wrong to be in love with Hyung. I didn't want to disappoint them or my own family. When Hyung's gaze became thoughtful, it was no longer possible for the dark clouds in my mind to disperse. Hyung's mother was also looking at her husband nervously and remained silent.
"Are you thinking of getting married, Yoongi? Now you can practice your profession. There is nothing stopping you. ''
I had always been an honest and cheerful person, and I could reflect my love and happiness very clearly. My mother always said that there were fancy mirrors in my heart and everything in my heart was reflected outside. At that moment, I heard all the mirrors breaking inside me and the glass pieces were sinking into my heart and mind. Even my throat hurt. I was suffering from psychological pain.
''This is not an issue to be discussed here.''
My gaze shifted to Hyung's polite words to his father.
''Why? There are no strangers here. Are you afraid of Jimin? ''
Hyung's mother started clearing the empty plates on the table.
''Dad. Please.''
Hyung loved his father very much, his father was not a rude person, but he was a man of traditions, I knew that very well. His father waved his hand and dropped the subject.
"Well, I'll try my luck on Geum-Jae."
It was quite normal for him to talk about these topics. Naturally, he was a traditional father who dreamed of his sons getting married. I agreed with him. Thus, it didn't take me long to realize that only his mother knew about Hyung's feelings for me, and we had another obstacle ahead of us and I had no idea what I could do about it. How could I tell someone to whom I was like family that I was in love with him, as two men?
In order not to give any more space to my thoughts, I got up from the table and went to the kitchen. After a while, Hyung came after me. I wasn't looking at him. His mother had gone out of the terrace door and was stepping towards the garden. I saw her walking towards the tangerine trees and she had a small basket in her hand. Hyung nudged my arm as lightly as a feather.
''Hey... You know you shouldn't get upset about what my dad said, right? I'll handle this, please look at my face. ''
I couldn't look. I knew I would cry if I looked. There was such a strong, heavy and moist cloud feeling in my chest that no matter how much I breathed, I felt like it wouldn't be enough. I was startled and stepped back when Hyung suddenly kissed my cheek.
''Hyung, what are you doing! If we get caught, we're finished. ''
Hyung shrugged and moved closer to me. As I stepped back, he held me tightly around my waist and buried his head in my neck, inhaled my scent and I felt his lips on my neck. I gently pushed him away from me and ran away from him.
"Hyung, we shouldn't do this here."
My cheeks were burning. His scent permeated me. Even this would get us caught.
"I want to kiss you all the time when your cheeks are red."
"You smell like Holy."
I looked up arrogantly and crossed my arms over my chest. Hyung sniffed himself and turned his blank gaze towards me.
"Are you implying that I smell bad?"
He sniffed himself again. Unfortunately, the smelly parts were not his T-shirt, which looked good on him, but his face. I smelled him because he got very close to me and kissed me.
''Don't smell your clothes in vain. Holy licked your entire face as if he wanted to memorize it. ''
Hyung's side smile and sly glances found me.
''Are you jealous?''
I looked at him angrily and hissed.
"Hah, why would I be jealous?"
I walked quickly and went to the living room. Hyung's father was reading his newspaper again.
''Yaah Park Jimin! You can't imply to me that I smell bad."
I opened my eyes wide and turned to him.
''Then take a bath with Holy, hm?''
Holy started to bark and rub against Hyung's legs, and Hyung picked Holy up.
''Holy, don't listen to what he says. We don't smell bad. ''
I heard Hyung's father laughing.
''I was wondering how much longer you could keep from bickering. ''
At that moment, Hyung's mother came to us with a basket full of tangerines.
''What noise is this? I heard your voice from the garden. Holy why are you barking? ''
Holy jumped up on Hyung's lap and walked over to her and wagged his tail.
"Jimin told me I smell like Holy."
Hyung complained about me to his mother. His father took off his glasses and looked at us more carefully. I felt like a little brat who had committed a crime.
His mother smelled Hyung's T-shirt.
''I guess he doesn't smell. No, there is no smell. ''
I had a hard time not stamping my feet in anger and sent my sharp gaze to Hyung. I pointed to his face.
''His face smells. Holy licked every part of Hyung's face."
At that moment, I heard the sound of the folding newspaper and there was silence for a few seconds. At that moment, fireworks exploded in my mind and when I looked at Hyung, he was looking at me in shock and his cheeks were red.
''How did you know his face smelled? ''
I was cursing under my breath as Hyung's father looked at all of us with his eyebrow raised. I cursed silently and Hyung responded in the same silence. At that moment we looked at each other.
''Fuck.''
''Fuck indeed.''
It was a moment when we realized that we should always know that there will be obstacles in our way. We were walking barefoot on thorny roads from the very beginning. Nobody said it would be easy, but neither of us knew it would hurt this much. At that moment, I knew that it would never be a problem for me to have my feet bleed for Hyung. If he was going to walk with me, I would prefer to see the thorny paths we walked on as blooming paths.
We bloom until we ache.
(Yoongi really likes Jimin's long earrings so much and he mentioned that before. He finds them handsome.)
(This can be like Yoongi's look when Jimin told him he smelled like Holy.)
(Holy is sleeping on top of Yoongi. The luckiest dog in the world. If Jimin gets jealous, he's right.)
(Meanwhile Holy : I love this life. )
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How do you think their families accepted them in real life? I am very curious about this process and I am sure that it has never been easy. If Yoonmin wasn't supported by the people they love, it would have been difficult for them to progress so far. Please share your thoughts 💬
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