Twicepink one-shot

snowflake, I'll catch you tonight (M.S)

Sana x g!p reader

synopsis: Y/n is the Spirit of Winter. Sana hates cold weather.

----

"Get up."

Something nudges her leg, the sliver of skin exposed between Y/n's pants and her bare feet.

She scrunches up her nose, brain not having started to work yet, and decides to ignore the disturbance.

"Get up, asshole," The same, annoying voice mutters again. "Winter's not gonna come on it's own."

Y/n groans, her head buried under a blanket, before her eyes slowly peel open.

There is no telling what time it is, and once she's awake enough for the wheels in her head to start turning again, Y/n realizes with a rather excited flutter in her chest that it's time to wake up.

It's winter.

She throws off the blankets and scrambles to sit up in her bed, the person sitting on top of her falling off with a startled yelp. Y/n's skin starts prickling as she summons up her energy that's been put into a resting mode along with her, feels the magic start thrumming in her veins like a second heartbeat until it reaches the tips of her fingers like tiny sparkles.

Her mouth stretches into a huge grin when she feels every single nerve of her body come alive.

Y/n ignores Momo on the floor and flies off the bed, bare feet flying across the wooden floor until she's hovering in front of the window to check if it's really true. Wouldn't be the first time Momo woke her up in the middle of September, claiming it was winter already, just to see Y/n lose her temper and accidentally freeze everything in her own apartment.

Her eyes take in the streets below in excitement. It's still morning, so not many people are out and about, but Momo must've lowered the temperature significantly already, because she can make out the tiniest little clouds puffing out of a man's mouth as she hurries down the street.

She looks at the tree next to her window, just in time to see the last of it's red autumn leaves fall off.

Y/n sighs dreamily and turns around, smirking at Momo who's giving her a scowl while rubbing at her shoulder.

Momo is the spirit of fall.

Her hair is brown, glimmers in different shades of gold and red in the light. Her eyes look like the color of autumn leaves, a swirl of warmth, orange and red and yellow, and her attire's made of the same color range. She has leaves tattooed on her arms like a string, and her necklaces and bracelets are adorned with crystals and acorns.

Y/n's heard other spirits call her cute, but she thinks the outfit's tacky and over the top, and lets the other know frequently. Not that Momo cares too much. She much prefers her own outfit, consisting of nothing but grey pants that stop down at her calves (because she likes having her ankles exposed) and a blue hoodie with some sparkly snowflakes etched into it. Her hair is grey, which she doesn't appreciate. She's tried to dye it like humans do, but it just turns grey again every time, so she stopped bothering.

"So, what did I miss?" Y/n asks, tilting her head.

"Same old crap," Momo mutters with a shrug. "Humans fighting each other. Polluting the air. Braiding their eyebrows. Throwing away food while others are starving. Lots of YouTube apologies, that was fun. Apple came out with wireless earphones that look like crap. Infinity War came out."

At that, Y/n's face lights up. "Was it any good?"

Momo snorts. "I'm not saying shit." With that, she pushes off the floor and dusts herself off.

Y/n frowns at the leaves that fall off her in the process. "Stop making a mess."

"How about you be a little nicer to me, huh? It's five degrees outside. Do you know how much it pained me to make it this freezing? Last year I left all the work up to you. It was fifteen degrees out when you woke up!"

Y/n rolls her eyes. "Sure, I appreciate it. Want me to build you a snowman?"

"Fuck off, Y/n/n. I'm going to sleep. Don't be an idiot and cause a second ice age, will you?" The spirit starts walking towards her and nudges her aside carelessly, opening the window to climb out. "I'll see you next year."

Y/n waves at her with two fingers. "Say hi to Dahyun for me, will you?"

Momo grumbles under her breath, the apples of her cheeks turning a shade darker, before she jumps out and lands in a pile of leaves on the floor that will take her to the spirit world, and with that, to Dahyun, also known as the spirit of Spring.

Momo and the other spirit usually spend the time in between seasons together, until the other has to leave to come back to earth and control the current season.

Y/n is the only spirit she knows that spends her time off duty on earth. She's never been too fond of the spirit world.

Most of the other spirits don't really like the way she's doing her job, almost like it's a crime to have fun while she's at it. She knows they talk behind her back all the time. Knows they want her replaced, and even though she tries to pretend it doesn't get to her, it does hurt nonetheless.

Y/n sighs and stretches her body, feeling her joints crack pleasantly, before she jumps out the window to get to work.

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

The weather quickly goes from bearably cold to minus degrees through the nights and mornings, and even though it's only the end of October, Y/n feels way too impatient this year. She'll probably get a little scolding from Mother Nature, but she's been retired for quite a while now, so she's way more calm than she used to be. And besides, it was her who chose Y/n to be the new winter spirit after the last one decided she'd had enough and wanted to go back to being a boring, mortal human. Y/n can't relate. She can fly, she can create snow and ice with a snap of her fingers, and she's immortal.

She's basically a superhero, maybe not as cool as Captain America, but still. It's sick.

So yeah, anyways.

She drank a little bit too much a few years ago, back when she was considering dropping out of college and had a little more than seven beers in her system. She'd drunkenly slipped on a patch of ice and hit her head on the pavement on her way home.

Y/n doesn't remember if she died from the impact. She blacked out after feeling her head hit the ground, before she could even register the pain. And quite frankly, she doesn't remember all that much from her old life, either.

All she knows is that she woke up in the spirit world, to the face of a girl with golden hair and stars glimmering in her eyes, who later turned out to be the Sandwoman, and even later became her friend Mina, whom she sometimes crosses paths with when they're both working at night.

The Man in the Moon for some reason believed Y/n had what it took to become a Spirit, so he spared her measly life and rescued her from her shitty family and the prospect of a sad, unfulfilled future at an even sadder desk job.

So yeah.

That's her story.

So now she's the winter spirit, and currently she's sitting on top of the roof of a school, although the students look a little too old, so it's probably a college.

Y/n's invisible to human eyes (at least she's supposed to be, there's this myth going around that if a human believes in the spirit, they will be able to see them, but Y/n has yet to experience that herself) so when she ran across the pavement and made ice spread around her feet on several spots, no one was the wiser.

But now, she's watching in glee as the students slip and slide on the icy patches. The ones who curse and get angry give her the most satisfaction, because any other reaction will just make her feel like an asshole. But it's not like Y/n is hurting anyone. Whenever it looks like someone's actually going to fall and get hurt, she quickly teleports herself to save them.

That... kind of makes her the villain and hero but. What else is she supposed to do with her time?

She usually makes her rounds across the globe within a few measly hours, and she'll set the weather everywhere for the day, and fix whatever gets out of hand whenever Y/n's having mood swings, and repeat the process the next time the sun rises.

It gets boring quickly, especially when she's not supposed to make it snow yet.

Y/n has learned that humans aren't fond of early snow, as it takes away from their excitement for Christmas, which made Santa Clause really quite angry and he'd sent his army of elves full of anger issues after Y/n's ass for it that year.

Now, Y/n makes sure to tease the humans long enough for them to think that it won't be snowing for Christmas at all, but then she'll work her ass off the night before Christmas, so people all over the world can wake up to sparkling snow the next morning.

For Y/n, there's no halfway with things.

It's all or nothing (and then all at once in the last second).

She thinks she should be appreciated more.

Humans think the weather is something that just happens, something that can't be controlled. It's funny, because Y/n used to think that too, before she turned into the winter spirit herself.

It's so naïve and small minded, to think the seasons just come and go themselves. As if nature is set like an alarm clock. Do humans not question anything, ever?

Y/n purses her lips and snickers to herself when a dude slips on the ice she created and proceeds to yell at his friend for laughing at him.

The next girl who approaches the building however, seems to be in a rush. Her hair looks like a bird's nest, and the glasses on her face are all fogged and a second away from falling to the ground. She's wearing nothing but a sweater unlike most other people, who are already bundled up in scarves and coats, and Y/n wonders how as stupid as this girl got into college.

Y/n bites down on her lower lip, watching with brewing excitement, like seriously, the only thing missing is popcorn at this point, but then, the girl trips.

She trips.

Over nothing.

Like, it wasn't even the ice that made her lose her balance, the giant mess of a human just decided to fall over like that's a thing, and for a second, Y/n doesn't know what to do.

She shouldn't care, because it's not Y/n's fault the girl can't walk, but with a sigh, Y/n finds herself teleporting to where the girl is already on her way to kiss the floor. Y/n reaches her hand out and grabs the girl's backpack, pulling her back before her face can meet the ground.

The girl gasps, turning around in confusion, and suddenly they're standing just a breath apart.

Y/n holds her breath, and watches as the girl looks right through her.

Y/n freezes (...) a little on her spot, her mouth parting as she gets a good look at the girl's face for the first time.

The glasses are dangerously low on her nose, and just as Y/n thinks this, the girl reaches up to push them up the bridge of her nose. Y/n smiles at the action.

The girl's brown eyes remind Y/n of warmth, and they're looking more scared by the second, because she was just pulled up and saved by some invisible force. Y/n can imagine how creeped out she is.

The girl mutters a quiet "What the fuck?" under her breath, her cheeks and nose all red from the cold as her eyes scan her surroundings, trying to find a plausible explanation for what just happened. Y/n fights the urge to reach out and touch her skin, which looks warm, too. Somehow, Y/n thinks that this human doesn't look right in this cold weather. She thinks that she'd look much better surrounded by sunlight and warmth, rather than a grey sky and frosty air.

Before Y/n can form another thought, the girl turns around and starts running towards the building in a hurry, and Y/n remains standing there, looking after her.

"Well, well, well," A taunting voice mumbles into her ear.

Y/n jumps and turns to see none other than Jihyo leaning against the tree there. If it weren't for the fact that they're invisible, she would've stuck out like a sore thumb, as she's wearing nothing but white shorts with a white, cropped sweater. There's a heart on her sweater, which moves rhythmically, like a heart beat, because there is nothing magic can not do. Jihyo smirks at her, and she's twirling around one of her arrows in her fingers, making Y/n's heart drop in dread.

"What are you doing here?"

"Just my job."

"Well, go do it somewhere else."

Jihyo clicks her tongue and steps closer, Y/n instinctively tensing up at the proximity. The other spirit always smells of a mixture of roses and sugar. It makes Y/n's nose twitch, because she imagines that it's what love potions must smell like. "That was an adorable human, wasn't it?"

"She's a human." Y/n scoffs and moves away, turning around to face the other spirit. There are red particles glimmering in the others' dark eyes, and Y/n knows they're in the shape of hearts, but she doesn't want to get too close to find out. Jihyo is Cupid, she's the spirit of love, so nothing about her should be too scary.

But there's just this strange aura surrounding the spirit, her eyes seemingly always sparkling with mirth.

Y/n is almost certain that Cupid has it out for her, for reasons yet unknown.

"Well observed, Y/n. She's human." Suddenly, Jihyo teleports again, and something sharp digs into Y/n's butt. She curses and turns to glare at the other girl, who only smirks at her, rubbing the sharp tip of her arrow with the pad of her finger. "And you know the consequences of that, don't you? I have my eyes on you." She winks, and then, disappears into a dust of red glimmer.

"Fucking weirdo," Y/n mutters under her breath, not wanting to admit how much Cupid creeps her out. Momo wouldn't ever let her live it down.

She glances at the entrance of the school again, trying to ignore how disappointed she feels when she finds the girl already gone.

She sighs and decides she's not going to push the limits of Mother Nature's patience any further and teleports to Norway to get the hail storm there under control.

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

The next time Y/n sees the girl with the glasses and messy hair, it's a week later, and it's pure coincidence.

The general temperature has dropped even further now, and most people aren't happy about it. Their annoyed reactions whenever they have to scrape the ice from their wind shields in the morning only eggs Y/n on to make the weather colder, and it's taking a lot willpower from her to behave and actually not cause what could be considered another Ice Age.

Y/n's strolling through the mostly empty streets of the town late at night, feeling bored out of her mind as she made sure to keep the weather pretty much normal all over the globe today. She runs her fingers over the dirty brick wall of an apartment complex and watches ice spread from the tips of her fingers.

Sure, having super powers is cool and all (it's all six year old Y/n dreamt of), and being invisible is fun most of the time, but what they don't tell you when they turn you into a spirit, is that it can get really lonely.

Y/n watches humans interact, watches them go out and party, watches children play on playgrounds, watches lovers kiss, knowing she can't ever have that because people don't even know of her existence, and the other spirits aren't too fond of her (except for Mina, but Y/n doesn't get to hang out with her that much since the girl is very diligent in her job as the Sandman and is too nice to tell Y/n that she's being a distraction, so Y/n tends to leave her alone). She's okay with it most of the time. Heck, she's asleep for nearly a year. She's not going to spend the four months she has sulking around because she has no friends or no one truly cares about her.

She sighs and pushes off the ground to sit on top of the tree next to the main street in front of a supermarket. It's a seven-eleven, so it tends to be the busiest place this late, and the chances of seeing other people are highest here. This is what she does for a while, her lower lip pushed out because nothing exciting is happening ever in this town on a Thursday night.

But then, all of a sudden, two figures step out of the shop, holding bags in their hands as they start walking down the street. Y/n doesn't get to see their faces for too long, but she spots a familiar pair of glasses and the same mop of messy hair she'd been thinking about every now and then in the past few days, and suddenly, her night has gotten at least ten times better.

Y/n swings down from the bench she's been sitting on so she can get closer to the boys and proceeds to hover above them while they walk.

It's the girl again.

The one Y/n saved even though she had absolutely no reason to do such thing.

Again, she looks tired, her nose is completely red, and she's not wearing much more than a denim jacket.

It's about two degrees outside.

Why the hell is this earthling not wearing a proper coat?

Y/n frowns and wants to shout at the girl to go back home quickly before she gets sick, but just as she thinks this, the girl pulls a weird face, and sneezes loudly.

"Jesus. Next time cover your mouth, you idiot," Her friend mutters with a disgusted look on her face. Y/n doesn't like it and thinks of various ways on how to make her pay for being such an asshole to Y/n's girl but decides against it, since she seems to be the girl's friend, and Y/n doesn't want to do anything to make her upset.

"Fuck off," Her girl mumbles and wipes her nose on her wrist. Y/n pouts, wishes she could offer her a tissue or something. "I hate the winter."

The words make Y/n falter, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. What did she just say?

"Don't blame the weather," The other girl mutters. "It's your fault for walking around like it's a warm summer night."

Y/n can't stop frowning, trying to ignore the girl's words from before. Surely she didn't mean that.

"I'm still waiting for my pay check, alright? I'll buy a coat first thing as soon as I have enough money." The girl pouts and hugs the bag to her chest, scrunching up her face as if to protect herself from the cold wind. Y/n looks around and sees some dry leaves rustling in the wind, and immediately snaps her fingers to stop the wind from blowing. She glances back at the girl, who sighs and drops her shoulders. "It's just... my immune system isn't made for this kind of weather. It's just too cold."

And at that, Y/n stops her powers, and drops to stand on the ground. She watches the girls disappear around the corner of a building, and feels strangely empty.

Well shit.

What now?

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

Over the course of the next few days, Y/n is sulking in the cramped space of her home, which essentially used to be a one-bedroom apartment/attic before Santa Clause bought it for Y/n to live there as it became clear that the winter spirit wouldn't be hanging around in the spirit world that much.

The words of her girl won't leave her mind, how red her skin was from the cold, her runny nose, the sneeze, all of which Y/n caused.

The last thing she wants is to hurt another person, let alone that girl, but what is she supposed to do?

It is supposed to be cold this time around of the year. While Y/n can play around with the temperature here and there, Mother Nature would be after her ass if she stepped out of line too much.

Y/n is busy pouting with her head dangling from the mattress, her silver hair brushing over the wooden floor, little glittery snowflakes falling out of them, when there's suddenly a loud thump at her window.

Y/n glances at it upside down, and spot golden flecks swirling around in the darkness of the night, and then there's a round face peering in.

Mina spots her and grins, waving for Y/n to open the window and let her in.

Y/n groans and hops off the bed with a flip, unlocking the windows with a snap of her fingers to let her friend in.

Mina climbs inside and leaves the window open, leaning against it with furrowed eyebrows. "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean-the spirits are all angry, Y/n. Mother Nature is two days away from personally coming to hunt you down."

Y/n gapes at her. "What? Why? I didn't do anything!"

"Are you sure about that?" Mina gently asks. She points out the window with her thumb, each movement sending golden specks flying into the air. "People are walking around in sleeveless shirts, Y/n. It's November."

Y/n parts her lips, completely baffled, and comes to realize that not only has she been stuck inside her room for much longer than she thought, but she also completely disregarded her job. "I... I can explain."

Mina shakes her head with a smile. "How about you explain while you fix that mess out there?"

Y/n sighs and nods her head, reaching out grab her hoodie from the floor and put it on.

She spends the next few hours working alongside Mina. While Y/n fixes the weather, Mina makes sure to take care of the children's dreams, replacing the nightmares with happy memories. Y/n likes watching Mina work. It's peaceful, seeing the golden dust following her around like her own little galaxy.

By the time Y/n is done, the world looks a little more frozen again, and the windows are starting to gather ice from the freezing temperature.

"Alright, so..." Mina sits down next to Y/n on top of the roof, both of them facing the windows of a huge apartment complex. "This girl is important to you?"

"No!" Y/n quickly shakes her head. "I mean-I just don't like hurting people. It threw me off when she said that. I didn't know how to react."

"So you decided to just quit your job because you're emotionally constipated."

"I forgot, okay? Can't a spirit be depressed, too? What kind of discrimination is this?"

"Oh, shut up," Mina mumbles. "Back to my original question, though. Are you sure she doesn't mean anything to you? You even touched her. Mother Nature wasn't too happy about that."

"Okay, first of all, I didn't touch her, because I fucking can't. I touched her bag."

"Hey," Mina mutters. "Don't curse."

Y/n cringes. "Sorry. I just... I don't even know her name."

"Well, yeah, so I assumed."

"Why?"

"You keep calling her your girl."

Y/n feels her whole neck grow hot once she realizes that Mina is telling the truth. In fact, she's been referring to the girl as her girl even in her head for a while, but she never noticed until her friend pointed it out to her.

"I just- I mean... since I don't know her name, that just... It doesn't mean anything. Stop looking at me like that!"

Mina continues grinning at her, shrugging her shoulders as she swings her legs back and forth, sprinkles of gold falling from her feet into the darkness below. "It's okay, Y/n. All of us took interest in a mortal before. It's not a crime."

"Not a crime? It's the number one rule in the book of rules!"

Mina rolls her eyes. "As long as you don't act upon your feelings it's not. There's no harm in getting to know your girl. It's not like she'll notice you. Right?"

"She's not my girl."

"Okay." Mina giggles and stands up, pointing at her imaginary clock. "The sun will go up soon. You know how weird children's dreams get when they're about to wake up."

Y/n sighs and nods, pursing her lips as she watches her friend walk up to the edge of the roof. "Have fun."

Mina grins and waves at her, and then lets herself fall from the roof, and even though Y/n knows she'll be okay, her heart stops for a moment.

Until Mina comes back up further ahead, flying off into the night sky with a path of golden stars following her.

Y/n smiles and watches until the other spirit disappears, and then proceeds to sit there until the sun rises, thinking over Mina's words.

And makes a decision.

The next day, after taking care of her duties (being the responsible winter spirit she is), Y/n goes back to the University and waits for the girl.

She waits for a long time.

In fact, Y/n waits for so long, that if she were a mortal, her fingers and toes would've frozen and fallen off at this point, but seeing as she isn't, she's doing splendid in her cotton pants, swinging her bare feet around in the air as she waits for the girl to show up.

When the sun starts to set and less and less students start going in and out of the building, Y/n's hope starts deflating.

Maybe... the girl is at work?

Students have part time jobs, right?

And the girl did mention something about a pay check...

Y/n perks up at the sound of the doors being pushed open after a long time, her lip stilled pushed into a pout as she hasn't got much hope left to see the girl today, but her eyebrows shoot up when she finally sees the person she's been waiting for all day exit the building.

Y/n can't even stop herself before she flies off the roof, landing on her feet a little ahead of the girl to get a good look at her.

The girl rubs at her eyes with her knuckles, her glasses attached to the collar of her sweater.

She looks so tired again, and Y/n wonders why that is.

At least she's wearing more than just a flimsy jacket today.

Y/n stares like she's seeing a mortal for the first time, unable to tear her gaze away from the girl as said person approaches her with slow steps and then-

Walks right through her.

Y/n's chest constricts and her expression falls. For the fraction of a second the girl walked through her, Y/n actually felt... warmth.

Blooming, right in the centre of her chest.

Something she hasn't felt in a very, very long time.

Can't even exactly remember how it feels, feeling warm on the inside. She has faint memories of her mom hugging her when she was little, but the physical feeling of it, she'd completely forgotten about it.

She isn't sure if this is normal, if every spirit is supposed to feel like this when they touch a mortal, but for now, she's on a mission, and the girl is slowly but surely walking away from her, so Y/n has no time to lose.

She follows the girl, deciding to walk next to her on the sidewalk instead of flying.

It's actually kind of nice. If she tries hard enough, she can almost pretend they're friends hanging out.

The girl plugs in her earphones and turns the volume of her music up so high Y/n can hear it, too.

It's a little worrying, but Y/n is too busy taking in the girl's features to care.

Her profile isn't perfect. Y/n has seen a lot of mortals, and she's seen ones anyone else would call perfect.

The girl's nose has a gentle slope, but is a little droopy at the tip. For some reason, Y/n finds this really cute, and the thought makes her cheeks flush in embarrassment.

Her lips seem plump, and Y/n honestly hasn't seen the girl without a hint of a pout yet. Maybe that's just her natural resting face.

Either way, she's trembling a little. From the cold, Y/n realizes with a frown. Her eyes glisten a little too, the way she's seen happening to other humans whenever it gets too cold. Y/n feels absolutely horrible, but also really helpless, because she's the cause of the girl's distress.

And Y/n tries - she really does - not to intervene, to make sure nothing like last time happens again. But the girl makes it so hard.

She keeps looking at her phone, and stumbles into other people, or over her own feet, and at one point, she just crosses the road without checking for cars first, and there is in fact one approaching way too fast, which is when Y/n can't hold herself back any longer.

She reaches her arms out like a barrier, making the girl come to a stop with a confused sound, her head snapping up just in time to see the fast car rushing past her.

The girl lets out a shaky sigh, since she just basically had a near death experience, and then she seems to realize what just happened, or at least she tries to understand what the heck just happened, because she stumbles back in confusion and looks around anxiously.

Y/n gnaws on her lower lip, feeling bad about scaring the girl (again), but she'd rather give her a little scare than see her dead.

The girl reaches a hand up to rub at her chest where she ran into Y/n's arm, and she gulps heavily, shaking her head to herself and muttering "You're losing it, Sana."

... Sana?

Her name is Sana?

Y/n mouths the name as she looks at the girl's warm, brown eyes and her messily tied hair, her red cheeks and red nose and finds that the name fits her.

Sana.

Y/n starts smiling, can't even stop when Sana nervously mutters something under her breath and walks through her to hurry off down the road.

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

"I know her name!"

Mina jumps so hard she ends up hitting her head on the window she'd been peering through. The girl sleeping in her bed inside frowns in her sleep, but Mina hurriedly sends in some more of her golden dream magic, a little dog appearing above the bed and running circles around the girl's head until she starts smiling in her sleep.

"Y/n!"

Y/n smiles meekly and shrugs her shoulders as her friend turns to glare at her. "I'm sorry!"

Mina sighs and grabs her arm to pull her up until they're on the roof of the apartment. "You need to stop sneaking up on me."

"You're fine," Y/n mumbles. "The girl might've not believed in you."

"All kids believe in the Sandman, don't be ridiculous," Mina replies with an eye roll.

Y/n tries to ignore the stab in her chest. It's only the truth. There have been a few instances where kids actually ended up seeing Mina at night because at that age, you still believe in Spirits, but it was not a big deal, since when those kids go ahead to tell their parents about it, they're met with a gentle smile and a pat on the head.

Little kids and their wild imagination, right?

Sometimes, Y/n is jealous of her friend.

But then again, Mina is amazing at her job. She has the purest heart, and loves making people happy, loves protecting the kids on the earth, so she deserve all the love and attention she's getting.

Y/n, on the other hand, not so much.

"So. You found out her name?"

Mina smiles at the way Y/n's eyes light up again. "Yeah! Her name is Sana."

"Sana, huh?"

"Yeah. I heard it when she was talking to herself. But I mean... I'm still making her suffer. She really can't stand the cold, but I can't just make Summer come early for her." Y/n glances at her friend who's nodding her head. "Right?"

"Of course not, Y/n!" Mina sighs. "People usually wear extra warm clothes as it gets colder. She could just bundle up nicely whenever she leaves. She should be fine. It's not that cold yet."

"Yeah but she doesn't," Y/n mutters. "The most I've seen her wear was a denim jacket."

"Is she a lunatic or something? Who does that in this weather?"

"Don't call her that," Y/n snaps, stopping once she sees the surprised look Mina gives her, followed by a knowing smirk that has Y/n's stomach twisting. "I mean... I think she doesn't have much money. She might not have a coat to wear."

Mina hums, tilting her head thoughtfully. "We're spirits, Y/n. We do magic. We take care of things, but not materialistic things, hm?"

"I know that."

"Maybe you could ask Santa to give her a coat for Christmas?"

Y/n shakes her head. "She's in college. She's too old... and Christmas is still a month away. She'll get sick if she walks around like this until then."

"Okay. So what do you want to do?"

"I have to find her a jacket."

"You can't. Unless you want to steal, which you won't, because we're nice spirits."

"Yeah but-"

"Y/n, no."

"Look... you're a good girl," Y/n carefully starts. "You're always on Santa's good side. I'm always on his naughty list, so I can't do this on my own. He owns a whole freaking factory. Getting Sana a coat shouldn't be so hard!"

Mina eyes for her a second before dropping her head with a groan. "Why do I always listen to you?"

"So you're going to help me?"

"I- I will try. I'm not guaranteeing anything. I need to come up with an excuse if you don't want the whole spirit realm to be all up in your business over this."

Y/n pulls a pained face and shakes her head. "No. No, we don't want that happening again. Hey uhm... do you think you could also ask for a pair of gloves? Maybe a scarf? ...And a hat? Oh and heat packs?"

Mina scoffs and gives her a strange look. "I'll see what I can do. You might want to think about how you're going to give all of that to your girl in the meantime."

"She's not-"

Before Y/n can finish her sentence, Mina disappears right in front of her eyes.

"- my girl."

Y/n's shoulders sag and she falls on her back with a grunt, blinking up at the clear night sky.

She can fly.

She can make snow shoot out of her hands.

But she can't get her hands on a measly jacket?

Honestly. It's no wonder not a single person on this planet believes in her.

Two days later, Mina hands her one of Santa's Christmas bags, giving her a "Please don't let me down" look, before disappearing again.

Y/n can't stop smiling.

There's a thick red winter coat, a pair of gloves that have fake fur on the inside, several pairs of socks, a wool hat, all things that will surely keep Sana warm during the winter.

Now Y/n just needs to figure out a way of giving these to Sana.

She follows the girl home to see where she lives and isn't too surprised that her apartment is in a massive apartment complex in the shadier part of the town, and although this worries her, at least she knows the girl's got a roof over her head.

Y/n figures simply dumping the bag in front of Sana's door wouldn't be too much of a good idea. She knows humans tend to be suspicious, especially in this day and age, so she's not sure if Sana would just accept the random gifts showing up at her doorstep.

But she can't come up with another solution. Sana can't see her, so she can hardly hand the gifts over to her herself.

So the next day, right before Sana gets home, Y/n places the bag in front of her door, and then quickly teleports outside to hover in front of Sana's window. Her apartment is just one room, kitchen, living room and bedroom all cramped together. It looks cosy enough, at least Y/n thinks so.

She waits for Sana to come home, and is happy to see the girl carrying the bag inside.

Sana has a confused expression on her face, and Y/n watches her rummage through the bag for a moment, before the girl drops it and looks around her apartment warily.

And then suddenly, her eyes snap to the window, to where Y/n is currently hovering on the other side, looking right into Sana's eyes.

And Sana is looking back.

Y/n feels her heart stutter. This can't be- right?

And yeah. It can't.

Sana blinks a few times and shakes her head before getting up and disappearing in her bathroom.

Y/n feels the foolish hope in her chest crumble. She's a freaking idiot.

Of course Sana can't see her.

She lowers her head and closes her eyes for a moment, starting to feel that pull in her chest whenever she's needed somewhere in the world. Or rather, her powers.

So she turns away from Sana's home and flies off, feeling better and worse at the same time.

She just hopes Sana will wear the gifts, just so Y/n can stop worrying and thinking about the human all the time.

Turns out Sana doesn't want to make it easier for her.

The next day while Y/n makes her usual runs through the town, she spots the girl walking down the street in nothing but another sweater, and feels her blood boil at the sigh.

"I'm sorry, but you're an idiot," Y/n mutters under her breath, feeling at a loss as to what to do anymore. She can't make it warmer for Sana, she can't get her to dress warmer, so maybe she should just forget about this stupid human for good, right?

Now that would solve Y/n's problems.

But it's easier said than done, because Y/n can't just forget about the girl with a snap of her fingers the way she controls practically everything else.

She simply can't stop worrying. She doesn't know why.

There's this strange urge inside of her that makes it physically impossible for her to stop thinking about the human. Like an invisible force, almost.

So, like the fool she is, she goes back.

To check up on Sana.

And again.

And again.

And the stupid, stupid girl, just doesn't take care of herself at all.

The weather just gets colder and colder, and no matter how hard Y/n tries to raise the temperature a little, Mother Nature's voice pops up in her head and immediately makes her drop it again.

It's not until one night when Y/n shows up at Sana's window again, only to see the girl lying in her bed with a red nose and tissues scattered around her, that Y/n feels her chest constrict horribly and decides that she has to do something.

Sana is sick.

She caught a cold, because of Y/n, but also because she seems to want to freeze herself to death for some reason.

Y/n curses under her breath and without thinking, makes ice appear on the window glass so she can write something on it.

Once she's done, she knocks on the glass, and watches Sana's head pop up from her sheets with a sleepy look on her face.

The girl looks like she's about to disregard it, but Y/n isn't having any of it, so she knocks again, and this time Sana shoots up into a sitting position, looking positively freaked out.

Good.

No, actually it's not good, it's the exact opposite of good, and Y/n is pretty sure she's gonna be in so much trouble, but for some reason, she can't seem to care right now.

She watches Sana push her covers off and slowly get to her feet, and Y/n can't do anything but shake her head when she sees that Sana isn't wearing anything but a long oversized sleeved shirt, her feet and legs completely bare.

Sana freezes a little when she sees something on her window and then comes closer, squinting her eyes, and Y/n watches closely as she reads what's written there.

Wear the coat godammit!

Sana stumbles back, and trips over her feet, landing on her butt. She scrambles away and Y/n sees her lips move but can't hear what she's saying.

All she knows is that Sana's eyes are filling with tears and her lower lip trembles and that positively breaks Y/n's heart.

In fact, Sana's reaction has her so concerned she finds herself hovering inside the girl's bedroom a second later, having teleported without thinking it through too much.

She wants to apologize, wants to tell Sana that it's okay, that she doesn't have to be scared, but maybe she should've thought of the consequences before she decided to leave a message on Sana's windows that are situated on the eighth floor of the apartment complex.

"L-Look, ghost. Demon. Satan. Whoever you are. I really don't have anything you could want from me, and you're really scaring me. If that's what you wanted then you succeeded. Because I'm scared. So please, no- no more or I might pee my pants and I'm in my twenties I will never ever get over it!"

The girl's fear laced voice has Y/n more upset than it should, the glossy eyes having Y/n wanting nothing more than to make it okay again.

So she panics.

And turns to create another layer of frost on the window, and proceeds to write something else there.

Don't be scared! I won't hurt you

Sana's eyes widen as she watches the words appear on her window letter by letter, and she lets out a whimper, her eyes filling with tears.

Y/n's heart is beating erratically. It's the closest she's ever gotten to talking to a human in her spirit form, and she can't quite wrap her mind around the fact that she might just be able to communicate with this girl.

She curses under her breath when Sana starts crying hysterically, and wipes the words away to say something else.

I'm not a ghost or demon ok?

Sana shakes her head and curls into herself. She hesitates before whispering "Then what?"

Y/n sighs and shakes her head. There's no way she can get this grown up woman to believe in what is happening, least of all make Sana believe in Y/n.

But she supposes she's got nothing to lose at this point.

I'm the spirit of winter

Sana stops crying and tilts her head. "What?"

The spirit of winter? Jack frost?

Understanding dawns on Sana's face. "But that dude's just a myth, right? Like the Sandman. To give kids hope and happiness."

Y/n's shoulders sag, disappointment making her chest feel heavy.

I'm real

Sana stays silent for a moment, and she takes a deep breath before sitting up properly and wiping her nose on the sleeve of her sweater. "Alright. I'm still 90% sure I'm having a fever dream so I'll just go along with this... Why can't I see you?"

Y/n is already moving to write her answer on the window, but stops herself when she feels the nagging feeling in the back of her head. She might just be about to screw up big time.

She knows she shouldn't.

She knows she should teleport away and never come back, leave Sana believing that all of this truly was nothing more than a fever dream.

No one would be the wiser, and Y/n would be off the hook before Mother Nature could even hear of what she was up to.

But then she looks at Sana, sees the expectant, glinting eyes, and Y/n just wants-

She wants Sana to see her.

She just wants to be seen, just like Mina does every night by the kids, or how the tooth fairy sometimes gets caught by children at night, same for Santa Clause.

It's not fair. Y/n is doing just as much work as them, she's bringing the kids just as much joy, so why does no one believe in her?

Y/n takes another deep breath before writing on the window again.

Because you don't believe in me

Sana purses her lips. "So what, if I believe in you, I'll be able to see you?"

Yes

"Well... give me something to make me believe in you. Because this feels too much like a dream. I mean... it has to be. None of this can be real? I'm just really sick, and maybe I'm about to die, and I should go to the hospital, but I can't pay the bills so I guess I'll just die-"

Y/n frowns at Sana's words, the thought of something happening to the girl upsetting her to no end. Also, Sana's rambling is making Y/n nervous, so she does the first thing that comes to her mind.

She makes it snow.

Inside Sana's bedroom.

Right above her head.

Sana gasps when the first cold snowflakes land on her skin, and then she jerks up, lifting her hands to watch the sparkly snowflakes land on her palms.

She watches in awe at the magic Y/n is creating for her, and it oddly makes her look like a curious child rather than a college girl.

The sight makes Y/n relax despite her currently going against so many rules in the Big book of rules that comes with being a spirit.

In that moment, she couldn't care less.

Y/n always wanted to be seen, but she never made actual effort to pursue her dream. Maybe it was the fear of being let down, or maybe she just never thought it was worth the trouble. But the pure wonder in Sana's eyes that you rarely see in grown ups anymore makes it all worth it.

It takes the girl a few minutes of silently staring at the falling snow around her to come back to her senses. She starts frowning, and looks around her room. "Are you still here?"

Y/n lets out a shaky breath and sends out a gush of wind that hits Sana in the face.

"Okay," Sana mumbles after a moment of surprise. "I-Okay... C-Can I, uh, see you?"

The words make Y/n's heart thunder heavily in her chest, and her throat swells. She doesn't know what to do. It's up to Sana wether she wants to see Y/n or not.

Y/n shakily lifts her head and twists her fingers, to make the snowflakes twirl around Sana prettily, almost like they're dancing.

Sana stares at it and chuckles, sniffling once before slowly looking up again. And then she freezes, and her eyes widen. "Woah! "

Y/n staggers back, frowning, stopping her motions. The snow stops falling as she loses focus, all her attention on the girl in front of her, who's currently staring in her direction-

No.

No, Sana is staring at her.

Y/n can barely breathe, and she doesn't dare move, not wanting to lose the illusion of Sana actually being able to see her.

"Holy c-crap-" Sana stutters, looking disturbed and scared but there's a hint of curiosity in her eyes, and Y/n desperately clings to it. "Y-You're-You're here. How-what? D-Did you just do that? The snow?"

Time seems frozen for a moment, and Y/n feels like this is just another dream. One she'll wake up from soon, invisible to the whole world.

"You can see me?" Y/n asks shakily.

Sana gapes at the sound of Y/n's deep voice, and nervously nods her head. "Am I not supposed to?"

"No one has before." Y/n gulps, can't even try to tear her gaze away from Sana's still frightened face.

"No one?"

"No human," Y/n corrects herself. "You're the first one. I-I can't believe this is happening. Can you really see me?"

Sana nods her head and gulps. "Your hair is silver. It's sparkling."

Y/n smiles and sees Sana's eyes flicker down to her lips. "Magic."

"Magic," Sana repeats as if in a daze. "Am I dreaming?" Sana starts frowning, her eyes frantically scanning Y/n from head to toe. "Please tell me I'm dreaming. I'm-starting to freak out."

"No. No you're not dreaming," Y/n carefully says. She licks her lips, thinking her actions through. The last thing she wants is to scare the girl even further. "I'm real. I'm a spirit. Like the Sandman, or the tooth fairy... Santa Clause?"

"I know who they are, but they're just myths. Right?" Sana asks, her eyebrows furrowing. "For kids. To make them happy."

Y/n shakes her head. "They're all real. Adults just stop believing in them when they grow up, which is why they can't see us anymore." She rolls her eyes. "But kids can!"

"But you just said no one's ever seen you before."

Y/n's face falls a little. "Kids, uh. They don't really believe in Jack Frost, I guess."

"Jack Frost?" Sana raises her eyebrows. "Is that actually your name?"

Y/n shakes her head. "Nah, that's just what people call me."

"Then what is your name?"

"Y/n."

"Y/n?" Sana tilts her head. "That sounds... human."

Y/n smiles a little. "Well. Makes sense. I used to be a human."

Sana's mouth for a little O. "What? How? I'm so confused."

Y/n is about to answer when she feels a tug in her mind.

Duty calls. She's already spent too much time here, said too much. She needs to go, even though she wants to stay a little longer.

"I need to go," Y/n says and walks towards the window.

Sana suddenly scrambles to stand up, an alarmed look on her face. "Are you going to come back?"

Y/n turns to glance at her. "Do you want me to?"

Sana licks her lips and shrugs, looking away. "I just... I kind of want this to be real? But I have a bad fever so if I wake up tomorrow I'll just assume this was a dream."

"I'll come back if you want me to."

Sana hesitantly nods her head. "O-Okay."

"You should wear more when you go out. It's just going to get colder from now on. You didn't catch a cold over nothing, you know?"

Sana frowns. "Wait... on campus and then when that car nearly hit me... the coat, the gloves- That was all you?"

Y/n smiles. "Sure it was me."

"Why?"

"Because you kept walking around in spring clothes, and it made me feel bad because I bring cold weather."

She moves to open the window and hears Sana come closer.

"Wait! Have you been stalking me? How do you know what I wear?"

"Stalking?"

"You know... following me around without me knowing?" Sana starts looking scared again.

Y/n frowns. "I wasn't following you around. I just happened to spot you a few times. I'm not a creep."

Sana gulps. "O-Okay... So you'll come back?"

"If you start dressing warmer, I will."

"Okay," Sana quickly replies. "I will."

"Good."

Sana stares at her and nods. "Good."

Y/n smiles and opens the window, about to jump out when Sana's voice stops her again.

"Sana," She says. "That's my name."

I know, she wants to say, but seeing as how creeped out Sana was before at the thought of Y/n having potentially been following her around, she decides against it.

Y/n nods her head and winks. "See you later, Sana."

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

The next day is busy for Y/n.

Okay, no, it really isn't. There's only so many blizzards Y/n can get away with before humans start to think that the end of the world is near. But she tries to convince herself into believing she's busy and her services are needed elsewhere, so she doesn't do something stupid, like show up at Sana's place first thing in the morning.

Y/n is just... excited.

As much as Sana probably expects to wake up and realize everything that happened the night before was nothing but a dream, Y/n could say the same thing.

She's honestly too scared to face the girl again, doesn't think she could handle it if the girl looked right through her again like everyone else does.

Y/n was awake all night, staring up at the moon, asking questions to the man up there, knowing she'd be met with nothing but silence as usual. All she could think about was the feeling of her skin tingling when Sana had looked at her.

At her. Not through her.

And now, the sun is setting, and Y/n knows that if there is the slightest chance that Sana really does want to see her again, it's now.

It still takes her another two hours to gather herself before Y/n finally teleports to Sana's apartment complex. She stands in front of it on the street and tilts her head back to look up at Sana's window. The lights are on, so the girl is definitely at home.

Y/n gulps and pushes herself off the ground to fly up, coming to a stop in front of Sana's bedroom window.

She isn't sure what she was expecting to see, but it definitely wasn't for Sana to be sitting right in front of the window, peering out with tired eyes, her chin resting on her knees where she's got her arms wrapped around them.

For a moment, Y/n forgets that she isn't invisible anymore, and she wants to use it to look at the girl, her ruffled hair and over sized sweater, the little pout on her lips that... does something to Y/n, something she can't quite understand.

But then Sana's eyes widen, and she jumps to her feet and stares at Y/n, both of them staying like that for a few seconds before Sana slowly steps forward and opens her window.

"H-Hey." The girl quickly backs away so Y/n can come inside. "You're real," She mumbles once Y/n is inside.

"And you can still see me."

Sana nods and swallows nervously. "Seems like it."

"Did you wear the coat?"

"Yeah," Sana answers.

"Did you want me to visit you that badly?"

"No!" Sana shakes her head and scoffs. "It was cold. Thanks to you."

Y/n sighs and leans back against the wall. "Don't make feel guilty about it, please. I tried to keep the temperatures up but it got me in trouble."

Sana startles at that, blinking at Y/n curiously. "Huh? Why would you do that?"

"So you wouldn't be cold," Y/n answers honestly.

She must've said the wrong thing, because suddenly Sana's cheeks turn red and she turns away from Y/n with a strange sound. "That's ridiculous. This is ridiculous."

Y/n nibbles on her lower lip, fiddles with her fingers. She's worried she's going to mess all of this up and Sana won't want to see her again. "I'm sorry?"

Sana sighs and turns to look at her again, her expression back to normal. "Don't apologize... It's just. I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around all of this. You can understand, right? I mean, You made it snow yesterday. Inside my bedroom!"

Y/n grins at that. "I can do a lot more stuff than that."

The other girl's eyes narrow. "Like what?"

Y/n's grin widens, and in the blink of an eye, she's standing right behind Sana. "Like this," She breathes against the girl's ear, only to have her gasp in shock and duck away.

"Fuck! D-Don't- Don't do that! Are you crazy? What was that?"

"I teleported."

"You teleported! Of course! Holy fuck!"

"I can also fly?"

Sana whimpers, and then proceeds to smile like someone who has lost her mind. "G-Great. Go ahead."

Y/n frowns at the obvious concerning look on the girl's face but does as she's told, slowly pushing off the ground so she's hovering in the air.

Sana starts to cry.

"Are you okay now?"

About ten minutes later, they're both sitting on each end of the carpet in the middle of Sana's bedroom. The girl is still sniffling a little, but she has calmed down a little.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry if I freaked you out. But you wanted to see."

Sana looks embarrassed as she shrugs her shoulders. She pulls at the sleeves of her sweater until her hands are covered, and something about the gesture makes Y/n's chest tingle. "I wasn't prepared."

"Do you want me to leave?"

This makes the other girl lift her head and meet her eyes. She slowly shakes her head. "Can you tell me more about yourself? Where you come from? What you do?"

Y/n looks down at the patterns in the carpet. Her feet are a little dirty, and she feels slightly embarrassed about her whole appearance. She's wearing worn out pants that look like they're three sizes too small on her. At least her hoodie looks kind of cool. Kind of.

"I'm not even supposed to be talking to you."

Sana tilts her head. "Why not?"

"Only children are supposed to know about our existence," Y/n explains, looking into the girl's warm eyes to see if she understands.

Sana bites down on her lower lip. "Well... I'm still kind of a child at heart, if that helps?"

It makes Y/n smile. Sana smiles back, even if it's a little hesitant and barely there. "You wouldn't be able to see me right now if you weren't."

"Am I really the first person who's seen you?" When Y/n nods, Sana's eyes grow a little soft, a little... sad around the edges. "Isn't that lonely?"

Y/n's smile falters, but she pushes through it. "Nah. I'm fine. I can fly and stuff. That's cool."

Sana keeps looking at her in silence, and Y/n supposes she wasn't as convincing as she wanted to be. "I won't tell anyone about you, if you're worried about that."

"I'm not worried about anything," Y/n mutters. "It's the big guys in the spirit world who'll be angry if someone finds out."

"But... I found out, didn't I?" Sana asks, looking mildly worried.

"Don't worry," Y/n is quick to say. "Nothing will happen to you."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Will you be okay?"

"Oh. Yeah. Don't worry about me. Wouldn't be the first time I screwed up." Y/n grins at the girl, who's peering at her through her long bangs. Y/n doesn't know why she's having such a hard time not staring. Y/n can't help but take in all of the girl's features, from her red lips to her nose to the glow on her skin. It's like she can't get enough of it.

Y/n doesn't spare humans a second glance, usually. She doesn't know what makes Sana so different, enough for it to catch Y/n's attention the second she'd laid eyes on the girl that day on campus.

"Why are you staring at me all the time?"

"I like your face," Y/n answers.

Sana sucks in a breath and her cheeks do that thing again. "You're really... blunt."

"I know. Sorry."

"No, no it's. Fine. It's refreshing."

"How so?"

Sana shrugs and purses her lips. "Most people aren't like that anymore. Honest, I mean."

Y/n hums. "The other spirits tell me I'm too insensitive. Because I just say what's on my mind."

Sana chuckles. "I'll believe that in a heartbeat."

"I'm trying to hold back," Y/n mumbles with a pout. "I don't want to hurt you."

The other girl just shakes her head. "You know, if you were anyone else, I might get that the wrong way."

"Anyone else?"

"You know, a normal girl."

Y/n stills. "Normal."

Sana seems to realize what she just said, her mouth opening and closing for a moment. "I didn't mean it like that. I mean- you're like supernatural. You're not just like any other person... That's what I meant."

"Oh." Y/n purses her lips, unable to stop her eyebrows from furrowing.

"Hey..." Sana looks weird when Y/n meets her eyes again. It might be concern, but Y/n isn't sure. "Can you make it snow again? Just a little?"

Y/n smiles and nods, making little, sparkly snowflakes appear in the air between them. She watches with a warm feeling in her chest, how Sana's lips stretch into a smile. "You go to school."

Sana takes a second to tear her eyes away from the pretty snowflakes. "Yeah."

"What do you study?"

"I want to become a nurse," Sana says with a smile. "I'm in my second year now."

"A nurse," Y/n repeats. "Woah. That's cool."

"Says the girl who can fly and teleport."

Y/n laughs, and she watches how Sana holds her breath, her eyes flickering over Y/n's face in a way that has her skin tingling. "You'll be saving lives. That beats everything else in my book."

"Hm." Sana shrugs her shoulders. "What about you? What would you be studying if you could?"

"Well..." Y/n purses her lips. "I was getting a business degree before I became-" she gestures down on herself "-this. Not sure if that was my dream, though. I can't remember a lot from that time, to be honest."

Sana shakes her head. "That's so weird. I have... so many questions."

"I can imagine. But... please don't ask. Because I can't answer."

"Can I ask one thing, though?"

Y/n sighs. "Okay. One question."

"How old are you?"

"Oh." Y/n tilts her head. It's been a long time since someone asked her that. "I was twenty-two when I became a spirit. And I've been doing this for almost five years now."

"So you're twenty-seven?" Sana asks, surprised.

Y/n shakes her head. "Well- I guess, technically I am. But I stopped ageing when I turned. My body's still twenty-two."

"Yeah, you look way too young to be twenty-seven."

Y/n raises an eyebrow. "Was that a compliment?"

Sana scoffs, her cheeks going a little red again. "It was a mere observation."

They look at each other and start smiling, and Y/n feels light for once. Not light in that empty way, where everything seems weak, and boring, and just so monotone where days blend into each other with no change whatsoever.

She feels light in a good way. Happy, for a moment.

"Do you live here alone?" Y/n asks after a moment where they both watch the snowflakes floating in the air between them.

Sana's smile falters a little. "Yeah."

"But you have friends. I saw you with that girl the other day-"

Y/n stops herself, raising a hand to hold it against her mouth as Sana raises an eyebrow at her. "Again, about that stalker thing-"

"That was literally the second time I saw you!"

Sana sighs. "I don't know who you saw me with. I have friends. I just live on my own."

"What about your family?"

Sana shrugs and looks away. Seeing the shadow cross her pretty brown eyes, Y/n wants to take her question back. "I don't talk to them much."

Y/n looks at the girl, can practically feel the sadness that suddenly started to surround her. It has no place there, Y/n thinks, and wants to chase it away. She flicks her hand, and makes the sparkly snowflakes dance around in front of Sana's face until the girl blinks, and starts laughing.

"We have that in common," Y/n says after a while.

"What?"

"We're both lonely, in a way."

Sana looks at her for a long time, before her lips tug into a sad smile. "Yeah. I guess you're right."

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

It becomes sort of a routine, then.

Y/n showing up at Sana's bedroom window late at night, Sana letting her in.

Y/n hears about Sana's day, and Y/n tells her about the countries she'd visited that day.

After the third time they meet, Sana starts offering Y/n food. When Y/n explains that she technically doesn't need to eat to survive, being immortal and all, Sana's lips form a pout.

She'd spent a while cooking that dinner for them, and who the heck would Y/n be to turn her down like that?

So they start eating dinner together almost every night, and her little get-togethers with Sana start to become Y/n's favorite thing in the world.

Something to look forward to.

It's still a little awkward at first; Sana might've accepted that Y/n is a spirit, but whenever Y/n uses her powers, Sana still looks like she's ten seconds away from having a meltdown.

So yeah, it takes a while for Sana to get used to it and stop questioning her own sanity.

She also understands why they can't meet up anywhere else. People would think she was crazy if she walked around the streets chatting to Y/n, since it would look like she was talking to thin air.

Y/n finds out more and more about the girl too, since Sana isn't a closed off person at all.

Her favorite color is pink, her favorite food is cold buckwheat noodles, her favorite drink is Gongcha's strawberry cookie smoothie, her favorite movie is called Midnight in Paris, and when Y/n tells her she has no idea what that is, Sana shows it to her.

Y/n watches her first movie in years that night, and when Sana falls asleep an hour into the movie on the couch, Y/n's eyes stray from the laptop screen to the girl softly snoring next to her.

Y/n's heart does something weird. It skips a beat, gives two heavy thumps, and when Y/n's eyes trail over Sana's peaceful face, her heart starts beating again, only a lot faster than before.

The incident leaves Y/n anxious and confused, but like many things, she shrugs it off.

Sana is easy to read, and she gives away her laughter and smiles so easily whenever Y/n is with her.

It makes Y/n wonder if Sana is like that with everyone else, too. A part of her wants to believe that Sana is only like this when she's with her, but that's stupid.

They've only known each other for a while, and why would someone like Y/n, a myth to the rest of the world, mean anything to a human?

This goes on for a while, and Y/n has yet to hear anything from the spirit world. Either the guys over there haven't noticed what she's been up to yet, or they (for some reason) are turning a blind eye to it. Y/n guesses she should be at least a little worried, but not hearing anything from them means she gets to spend more time with Sana, and that's really the only thing that matters to her.

November slowly starts to blend into December, and the weather gets even colder.

Y/n always makes sure Sana doesn't leave her apartment unless she's entirely bundled up.

Sana doesn't get sick again.

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

"Can I ask you something?"

Y/n looks up from the board game they're playing, and snorts. "You're going to ask no matter if I say yes or no, Sana."

Sana grins at this and reaches out to take a sip from her coke. "Alright, so. You said you've been a spirit for five years?"

"Yeah."

"So. I mean, you've clearly must've seen people you found attractive," Sana mumbles. "You know, someone you wanted to get to know better"?

Y/n stares at Sana and wonders if the girl is asking that on purpose. "Maybe," She carefully says.

Sana's grin widens. "And have you ever tried to get in touch with them?"

"I already told you, you're the first human who's seen me."

"I know that, but I'm just saying. You know, technically. Did you want to?"

Y/n narrows her eyes, wonders if Sana is really as dense as she pretends to be. Does she really not realize that Y/n and her are talking right now, just because Y/n tried to get Sana to see her? She decides to push the thought away. It doesn't matter. "Not really. I mean... aside from the fact I'd get in huge trouble for that, who would agree to that?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm invisible, Sana," Y/n quietly says. "I couldn't go out and eat dinner with anyone. I couldn't go the movies. They couldn't introduce me to their family or friends. It would be a freaking nightmare."

"Hey... don't say that," Sana mumbles with a pout. "You're a good girl. I'm sure there are people out there who'd sacrifice those things to be with you."

Y/n raises her eyebrow at the girl, who awkwardly clears her throat and pulls out a random card from the stash on the board game. "Would you?"

Sana makes a weird noise, between a whine and a groan, and it makes Y/n smile in amusement. The girl starts blushing and shakes her head. "I just- I m-meant in general! Not me, okay? Shut up. I don't like you."

"Damn, ow." Y/n laughs as she holds the left side of her chest. "You could've let me down easy, Sana."

"Oh, shut up," Sana mumbles, her cheeks completely red at this point. Her eyes flicker up to meet Y/n's, the spirit grinning at her teasingly.

They both start laughing at the same time.

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

No matter how cheerful Sana is most of the time, there are moments where the student grows quiet and gets a distant look in her eyes.

Like right now.

She's finishing an assignment she has to hand in by midnight, and Y/n is just there for moral support as she can't really help her otherwise. Sana is sitting at her desk, her face illuminated by her laptop, and Y/n is on Sana's bed, watching her work silently. Sana's tongue is sticking out in concentration as she types, and the sight makes Y/n smile.

"Almost done," Sana mutters as she leans back in her chair, bringing her knuckles up to rub her tired eyes. "I just need to send it now."

"Hurry up so you can go to sleep." Y/n takes in the girl's dark circles under her pretty eyes and wonders if she was like this, too. Probably not, though. Y/n never really liked school, and her grades always were just good enough for her to pass, but that was really it. Sana, on the other hand, is hard working and wants to do well in everything she does, which is another thing Y/n finds so admirable about her.

Sana glances at her and smiles faintly. "You don't have to stay here, you know. It must be boring for you."

"No." Y/n purses her lips and shakes her head. "I want to keep you company."

Sana's smile falters a little. "It's fine, Y/n. I'm used to being alone."

"Well. You shouldn't be," Y/n replies, frowning, and decides to ask the girl something that's been on her mind for a while now. "You never mention your family. How come?"

The question makes Sana tense up. She looks away and turns to face her laptop again, her eyes hard. "I told you I don't talk to them."

"At all?"

Sana gives a curt nod of her head.

"But why?" Y/n wants to know. "They're your family."

"I know, okay?" Sana snaps, and Y/n flinches, not having seen Sana so angry before. It takes her aback, the sudden anger in Sana's eyes. But they soften almost immediately after noticing Y/n's reaction. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..."

"It's fine," Y/n mutters. "I shouldn't have asked."

Sana shakes her head, and her shoulders droop. It's silent for a while, before Sana lets out a sigh. "My parents aren't together anymore. They split up the Summer before I went off to college."

Y/n really shouldn't have asked. "I'm sorry, Sana."

"It's fine. They were always fighting, ever since I can remember. My dad was a gambler, so we always had a lot of problems because of him. He was an asshole. Took his anger out on us all the time. And then mom kicked him out, and she met this... banker guy. He's this uptight, traditional guy. He wears these ugly khaki shorts and sandals all the damn time."

Y/n chuckles and Sana gives her a tiny smile. "Sound like a catch."

"Oh, yeah. He's against any form of change, and he kind of... I don't know. I guess when I left for college, he was a shoulder to cry on for mom. She didn't have anyone else. He completely brainwashed her. I can barely recognize her whenever I go back, and all they both do is tell me how basically everything I do is wrong. I haven't seen her in almost a year now."

Y/n can't do anything but stare at the girl helplessly, cursing herself for not being able to keep her mouth shut. But maybe, Sana needed to get the words off her chest, too. It seems like it. Sana rarely talks about herself. It's always other people, the nice lady from downstairs, the adorable grandpa from the bakery she goes to every morning, her friends from school.

"My parents were alcoholics," Y/n says, instead of telling Sana how sorry she is. "I hated them."

Sana's head snaps up at that, sniffling. "You remember them?"

"I remember bits and pieces. Like, moments that evoked strong emotions in me." Y/n shrugs. "You didn't deserve that, Sana."

"You didn't either," Sana answers. "But it's fine. It could be worse. I like my life how it is now. We just have to do make the best of every situation, right?"

Y/n shakes her head, eyes entirely focused on Sana's own. "You're really impressive, you know that?"

"I'm not." Sana lowers her gaze, her cheeks growing pink. It's almost funny, how Sana can't seem to control her bodily reactions. Again, she's like an open book, and suddenly Y/n feels a wave of protectiveness wash over her, wondering if people take advantage of her. She knows how humans can be, and Sana ist just... well, she's too nice.

"Can you hurry up with your assignment?" Y/n asks suddenly.

"Why?"

"I want to go outside."

Sana's lips part and she looks a little disappointed. "Oh-I told you you could leave. You don't have to wait here."

"No, Sana, I want to go outside with you."

"But... people might see."

"It's late and it's a weekday. There won't be many people around. I want to show you something."

Sana seems to mull over the idea for a moment before she smiles, bites down on her lower lip to contain it. "Okay. Give me ten minutes."

Y/n grins and nods her head.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

"Y/n, it's cold..."

"We're almost there. Stop whining."

"Can't you just teleport me there? It would be so much faster."

"I'm not allowed to, sorry."

"Damn, why is the spirit world so strict?"

"Like you guys don't have a dozen laws and regulations here." Y/n scoffs and glances at the girl next to her.

Sana is wearing her thick coat, the gloves and hat Y/n gave her giving her extra cover against the cold air of the night. Like Y/n predicted, the streets are practically deserted.

The sky is clear, stars sparkling above them, and whenever Sana talks, white clouds puff out of her mouth. Her nose and cheeks are already all red, and the sight makes Y/n strangely happy.

Y/n steers Sana into the park most people use for morning runs or picnic dates. It must be prettier in the summer, but Y/n can only assume, as she's never seen it differently.

"Are you sure you're not cold?" Sana asks her, glancing at Y/n's bare feet, her exposed ankles, the thin hoodie she's wearing.

"Yeah, Sana. Honestly, these temperatures feel to me like what spring feels to you guys."

"Yeah I just-okay." Sana sighs and looks away again, shivering as she burrows deeper into her coat. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

Y/n nods as she leads Sana towards the centre of the park, where there's an open field of grass with no trees or benches. Just a wide, open space. "Sure."

"Are we going to have a white Christmas this year? I'd assume you would know, since you control the weather and all."

Y/n grins. "Why do you think I would tell you?"

"Because we're friends?" Sana beams at her cutely, her smile wide and showing her pearly white teeth.

Y/n scoffs. "Oh, are we?"

"Well, aren't we?"

"We can be anything you want us to be, Sana," Y/n says without thinking too much of it.

Sana, on the other hand, startles at the statement, and since her cheeks are already so red, the only way Y/n can tell that the girl is blushing is when she turns her face away very quickly. "Okay, so we're friends. You have to tell me, now."

"Just wait and see, Sana." Y/n rolls her eyes. "Isn't that what makes it exciting? Checking if there's snow when you wake up on Christmas Eve?"

"Yeah, I guess you have a point."

"And why do you care about snow anyway? I thought you hated winter?"

Sana gives her a wary look. "That was when I was freezing myself off on a daily basis."

"So you don't hate it anymore?"

"Wouldn't that be like me hating you?"

"Well... yeah, in a way."

"And do I hate you?"

"I don't know. Do you?"

"Stop countering my questions with more questions." Sana sends her a half hearted glare. "But... I think you would know if I hated you, Y/n."

Y/n glances at her, and Sana returns her look, both of them starting to smile and looking away rather shyly. "Okay. Stand here," Y/n says after they reach the middle of the field, and she guides Sana by her shoulder.

Sana chuckles and shrugs her shoulders. "Now what?"

"Close your eyes."

"Oh, hell no!"

"Come on! Don't you trust me?"

Sana still looks conflicted. "Promise you won't do anything scary?"

Y/n's features soften as she gives Sana a reassuring smile. "I promise. Close your eyes for me, alright?"

Sana gives her a nervous smile and does as she's told. "How long?"

"Until I tell you to open them," Y/n replies. "We don't have much time, because no one else can see this, okay?"

"See what?" Sana asks.

Y/n turns to face the night sky. You there Jisoo?

Jisoo, the Aurora spirit, replies almost instantly. I'm here. I can only give you seconds. I don't want to get in trouble.

Y/n nods her head. Don't worry. If anyone notices, I'll tell them I forced you, okay?

Jisoo hums in agreement, and when Y/n starts to see the faintest glow of green appear in the sky above them, she turns around and pulls Sana closer. "Open your eyes."

Sana blinks her eyes open and stares at Y/n in confusion. "What are you-"

"Look up," Y/n urges, and is relieved to see that Sana lifts her head just in time to see the colors expand in the sky above them. Like three dimensional waves, streaks of translucent green, blue, and pink blend together above them. Sana gasps and staggers back, her back hitting Y/n's chest, who chuckles at the awed look on Sana's face. The colors start moving, like a flag in a mild breeze, and even if Y/n has seen northern lights hundreds of times, she's still taken aback by the beauty of it.

"Y/n-" Sana seems to have stopped breathing, and her hand reaches back to grip Y/n's wrist, as if to ground herself. Y/n's eyes flicker to the touch, and suddenly she's the one who can't breathe, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion at how fast her heart suddenly is beating. "How is this possible?"

Y/n forces herself to focus on Sana's voice despite the rush of emotions she suddenly feels. "My friend, she's the Aurora spirit. She controls them, so I asked her for a favor. I really wanted you to see them."

Sana breathes out shakily and starts beaming. "This is unreal! That's-It's like magic!"

Y/n smiles, the glowing colors dancing across Sana's face, making her big eyes sparkle like the ones of a curious child. Y/n feels like her insides soften at the sight, and she suddenly wants to pull Sana closer, to feel how happy and excited she is. "You like it?"

"Yes! It's so pretty," Sana whispers, never once looking away.

The lights last for a few more seconds before slowly starting to fade away again. Sana makes a disappointed sound.

"Sorry. We can't risk anyone else seeing them. They're not supposed to appear in this region at all, you know. People would freak out."

Sana stares for another second before turning around to face her. "You- that was really for me?"

Y/n meekly nods her head. "You've been working so hard for school. I thought you needed a break."

"But... Y/n, why would you do that?"

"I wanted to make you happy."

Sana blinks at her, and Y/n feels like it's the first time Sana is looking at her. Really looking at her. "You're... breaking so many rules... for me?"

Y/n shrugs. "I break rules all the time. But I mean. Yeah. This was for you. Did it work?"

"A-Are you asking if I'm happy?" Sana asks, her eyes almost frantically running over Y/n's face, her fingers tightening around Y/n's arm from where she's still holding on to her.

"Yeah."

"I am," Sana whispers, and her eyes start shimmering a little. They're standing quite close together, in the silence of the night, under the sparkling stars, the air so cold it seems that the whole world has frozen, except for them. "I'm really happy, Y/n."

Y/n smiles. "I'm glad. You deserve to be happy."

Sana swallows heavily. "Are you happy, too?"

"Right now?"

Sana nods, and Y/n wonders why Sana suddenly seems so nervous. "Yes."

"I'm... happy. Because you're happy."

Sana chuckles, but she seems so sad, and Y/n wishes she could understand what's going on in her mind. "Then I will make sure to always be happy."

Y/n grins and nods her head. "Sounds good."

The other girl sniffles a little, and lets go of Y/n's arm, and Y/n pretends she doesn't miss the touch almost immediately.

They leave after that, and Sana gets weirdly quiet again, seems almost a little jittery whenever Y/n tries to strike up a conversation.

Y/n figures the girl is just tired, so she decides to leave her alone for today, and wonders if there's always been this warmth between them whenever they said their goodbyes for the day.

When Sana watches Y/n climb out the window, there's something in her eyes, like something unspoken, and Y/n can't help but feel worried. But when she's about to ask if everything is alright, Sana gives her a warm smile, and Y/n decides it's enough for now.

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

One night, Y/n shows up to an empty bedroom.

The lights aren't on, and Sana doesn't seem to be home. Y/n frowns and tries to remember if Sana mentioned anything to her about not being there tonight, but she's pretty sure she'd know if that was the case.

Y/n figures she should leave, but she can't help but wonder where Sana is. It's pretty late, and it's pretty cold outside.

So instead, she flies up to the roof, and sits down on the edge of it. She'll know when Sana gets home; she just needs to make sure that the girl is okay, and didn't freeze to death in the cold night.

Y/n doesn't know how long she sits there, but Sana does show up a while later, and Y/n is quick jump off the roof and fly down to Sana's bedroom window.

The girl appears inside a moment later, looking a little tired as she flicks on the light to her room. Her eyes immediately go to the window, and Y/n watches Sana's face fall as she hurries to open the window to let Y/n in.

"Did you wait here all night?"

"No," Y/n lies, looking a little sheepish as she climbs inside and dusts off her clothes. Sana sighs and closes the window, and Y/n only now notices what Sana's wearing.

Tight black jeans with a lose button up shirt. Her usually messy tied is styled well, and she smells different, too. An artificial, dark smell mixed with a hint of nicotine.

It kind of rubs Y/n the wrong way. Sana usually smells a lot sweeter.

"You smell bad," She says.

Sana snorts as she sits down on her bed. "Thanks. I was at a bar."

Y/n tilts her head. "You drink?"

"Sometimes." Sana purses her lips. "Aren't you going to ask me who I went with?"

"Is that important?"

Sana looks at her, almost a little disappointed. "Kinda, yeah."

"Okay. Who did you go with?"

"Her name's Irene," Sana mumbles, fiddling with the hem of her fancy shirt. "She asked me out."

Y/n opens her mouth and closes it again, her eyebrows furrowing. "What?"

Sana peers up at her, a strange look in her eyes. "On a date."

Oh. That rings a bell.

Sana... had a date.

That's why she's dressed up like that, why she smells like that, why she couldn't meet Y/n tonight.

Y/n doesn't know what it is, but suddenly she feels all wrong. Her chest is too tight, and her stomach is in knots.

She doesn't like that at all.

Sana never dresses up when Y/n comes over.

"Oh." Y/n nods her head, unable to stop herself from frowning. "How, uhm. Was it?"

Sana shrugs, and then shakes her head. "Not that good."

"Why not?" Y/n asks, growing more upset by the minute. Who the heck is that girl? She gets the chance to go out with Sana and then doesn't make it her mission to make sure that it'll be the best date Sana's ever been on? "Did she do something to you?"

Sana smiles a little. "No. I guess we just didn't click. She's older than me. By the end of it she said I wasn't... mature enough for her."

"Well, she's a bitch if she said that to you." Y/n scoffs. "Do you want me to freeze up her car engine or something?"

That finally gets a chuckle out of Sana, and the tight feeling in Y/n's chest eases a little. "No- No, it's okay, Y/n. Thank you, though."

Y/n can tell that Sana is still upset about what this girl said to her, so she slowly walks over to the bed and sits down next to Sana, making sure to leave some space between them. "I think you're very mature. You live by yourself. You're a good student. You're kind and funny. You're the best cook I know. I wish you would take better care of yourself sometimes, but other than that, I don't know why that shit head would think of you as immature."

Y/n turns to look at Sana after finishing her speech, and finds that the girl is already staring at her with a foreign look in her warm eyes. Sana gulps and looks away quickly. "Do you date in the spirit world?"

"Hm. I wouldn't say date," Y/n answers. "But spirits can grow quite fond of each other. Two of my friends are something like partners, actually. It's not exactly how you humans are together, but it's close to it. It's almost like a soul bond, if you will."

Sana nods her head. "And... do you have someone from there you are fond of?"

"No," Y/n answers honestly. "I'm not that fond of the spirit world in general. You should know that by now."

Sana smiles. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

And Y/n doesn't dare let herself hope, but she thinks Sana looks almost relieved, even if that makes absolutely no sense.

"Do you want me to leave?" Y/n asks after a while. "It's pretty late. You have school tomorrow."

Sana bites down on her lower lip. "I... I mean, if you want to leave that's fine."

"I never really want to leave you," Y/n mumbles, sucking in a breath when Sana looks up at her in shock, realizing what Y/n just said. "Because that means I have to get back to work!" She quickly adds to save her sorry ass.

Sana smiles nervously. "Yeah, of course. You can stay here, if you want."

Y/n nods and quietly watches Sana get ready for bed. There's something peaceful about it all, calming and comforting as Sana gets rid of her outfit and washes off that fake smell and comes back as the Sana Y/n has gotten so used to.

Her skin is gloving, a little red from the hot shower, and her hair is messy again. Sana smiles at Y/n and climbs into the bed, patting the space next to her.

"You want me to..."

Sana nods, her smile fading when it gets no reaction from Y/n, and she takes it as rejection. As if Y/n could ever say no to her.

So Y/n lies down on the soft mattress, right on the edge of it, and on top of the covers, but instead of Making Sana happy, it makes the girl frown.

"What are you doing?"

Y/n clears her throat. "You asked me to lie down?"

"Yeah, but... you're too far away. And you'll get cold like that."

"Sana. I'm always cold."

Sana smiles softly. "I'll warm you up."

So Y/n lies down under the covers, close enough to feel the warmth of Sana's skin on her chilly limbs. Sana shuffles around and lifts her arm, her hand hovering above Y/n's arm. Y/n follows all her movement like a scared animal, not sure what to expect, or what Sana wants from her.

"Can I?"

"Can you what?"

"Cuddle you?"

Y/n gulps nervously, her heart thudding heavily in her ribcage. "I... I'm really cold Sana. You'll get cold."

Stay away, she wants to say, but she doesn't want to worry Sana with all this bottled up anxiety she's been carrying around with her for years.

Sana looks into her eyes, and moves closer, slowly and carefully, and rests her hand on Y/n's clothed shoulder. The contact is fine through the hoodie, and Y/n is taken aback by the sudden want for the clothing to be gone, so she can feel Sana's hand on her skin instead. Sana slowly moves her hand to Y/n's chest, her eyer trailing down to the touch, but Y/n's own never leave Sana's.

Sana's thumb rubs over her chest soothingly, and then she moves it until it touches Y/n's neck, the exposed skin there. Sana gasps when she feels just how cold Y/n's skin is.

In return, Y/n feels like she was burned by the simple touch, the softness and warmth of Sana's skin on her own too much. She grips Sana's wrist gently to stop the girl from moving further. "I told you I'm cold."

Sana gazes into her eyes, their faces only inches apart now. "Does it hurt?"

"What?"

"The cold?"

Y/n shakes her head. "I don't feel it."

"Do you... did you feel my warmth?"

"Yes."

"Did that hurt?"

Y/n grits her teeth together, and suddenly her chest feels ten times heavier. "Yes. It hurt," She lies.

Sana immediately pulls away, lowering her gaze, but not fast enough because Y/n catches the hurt in the girl's eyes. "I'm- I'm sorry, I didn't know..."

Y/n swallows despite the painful lump in her throat. She hates this. She hates it so much, that she has to push Sana away when all she wants is to pull her closer. Y/n doesn't losen her grip on Sana's wrist, stopping her from pulling away entirely. She guides Sana's hand back to her chest, presses her palm against the soft fabric of her sweater. "It's fine like this."

Sana finally looks up again, and Y/n's heart lurches at the watery eyes meeting her own. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know," Y/n assures her.

Sana nods and presses closer, presses her face against Y/n's chest, making it harder to breathe or think straight. She smells like soap, her shampoo making her hair smell sweet and clean, but there is the hint of Sana's own scent underneath, and that's what Y/n craves so badly. She brings her arms up to wrap them around Sana's waist, to pull her closer until she can bury her nose in Sana's soft, damp hair. "Y/n?"

Y/n hums and closes her eyes, holding the girl against her tightly, not even caring about the fact that Sana definitely can feel how fast her heart is beating. She just hopes the girl won't read too much into it. There's no way she could explain all these brewing emotions. Not only that, but she's not allowed. She can't. "Yes?"

"We're friends, right?"

Friends. Friends, friends, friends-

"... Yeah."

"Friend are supposed to be there for each other, right?"

"Yeah."

Sana sighs and presses closer into Y/n's chest, her fingers curling into Y/n's sweater and holding on tightly. "So don't leave, okay?"

Y/n licks her lips. "Like, now?"

"Not just now. Just don't disappear... please." Her voice breaks, and that breaks Y/n's heart.

She nods. "Okay. I won't."

Sana falls asleep after a while, and Y/n lies next to her with a heavy heart, her eyes gently tracing the soft features of Sana's face.

Y/n wants to trace the outlines of her face, her soft cheeks, the slope of her nose, but she's too cold, and the last thing she wants is to wake Sana up again. All she can do is look, soak in Sana's undeniable beauty, and try to deal with the growing ache beneath her ribs, the senseless longing that's been consuming her for a while now when it comes to this girl.

"You're an idiot."

Y/n jumps so hard she almost falls off the bed, a glare etched into her as she turns to stare at Jihyo. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough," Jihyo quietly answers. She looks the same as last time, when Y/n saw Sana for the first time. She's not holding an arrow this time, though. Only half of her face is illuminated from the lantern outside. The particles in her eyes make her eyes glow red in the dark, almost eerie. "What are you doing, Y/n?"

"What do you mean?"

"What are you doing with that human?" Jihyo asks. "She can see you."

"So?"

"So? It's forbidden. You know what the guardians will do if they find out."

Y/n grits her teeth together and looks at Sana's sleeping face again, trying to calm down. "They won't find out."

"I have to tell them, you know that," Jihyo says, and Y/n's chest starts burning with anger and frustration.

"No, you don't have to do anything! What you have to do is mind your own business."

"She could expose all of us, Y/n."

"She wouldn't," Y/n whispers, gulping heavily as she looks at Sana helplessly.

Jihyo sighs behind her. "You talk of her as if you've known her for centuries. Humans only care about themselves. They will turn us into test subjects if they find out."

"She isn't like that," Y/n argues. "Sana is different."

"You sound so stupid." Jihyo scoffs. "When I saw you seeing her for the first time, I thought it was funny because you alreadly looked head over heels for her. I didn't think you would actually be stupid enough to fall in love with her-"

"I'm not-" Y/n interrupts harshly, her heart going wild in her chest. "We're friends. Just friends."

Jihyo doesn't say anything for a moment, before she inhales audibly. "You have to stop this, Y/n. You're only hurting yourself, and you're going to hurt her, because when the spirit world hears of this, they will put an end to it their way."

Y/n gulps and closes her eyes. She pulls Sana closer, tries to let her sweet scent calm her down. "Are you going to rat me out?"

Jihyo hesitates for a moment. "If I have to, I will."

"Some cupid you are," Y/n mutters bitterly.

"I thought this wasn't about love," Jihyo retaliates.

Y/n hears Jihyo teleport away, leaving her alone in the silence with Sana's soft breathing next to her.

When the spirit world hears of this, they will put an end to it their way.

The words echo in Y/n's mind, over and over.

She doesn't know how long she lies there, unmoving, her throat swollen and chest hurting as she gently rubs Sana's back, holding her like she's something precious.

Which she is.

She's so precious to Y/n.

And Y/n would never, ever want to hurt Sana, or let others hurt her.

The thing is, no matter how much Y/n hates to admit it, Jihyo is right.

She knows what the right thing to do is. And while Y/n doesn't really care much about what's wrong or right, that only applies when it doesn't concern anyone else but herself.

But this is Sana. And Y/n can't be selfish, not this time, not when it's about her.

She leans down and presses her lips against the crown of Sana's head, inhaling her scent deeply so she can store it away for another time. "I'm sorry," She breathes, and with one last look at Sana's gentle face, Y/n teleports away.

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

Staying away seems like such a simple thing to do.

But to Y/n, it feels like torture.

The only thing that stops Y/n from going back to Sana's apartment is the thought that she's doing the right thing. That it would only hurt herself more if she went back, and that she'd rather have Sana hate her than the guardians of the spirit world doing something to the girl for a crime Y/n committed.

It's anything but easy, especially since Y/n didn't even get to say goodbye properly before she left that night.

It's only been four days, but Sana is all that is on Y/n's mind, no matter the time of the day, which continent she is on. Y/n wonders what she's doing, if she's okay, if she's dressing warm enough.

Y/n's bad mood doesn't help with the weather, either. Several blizzards and hail storms appear all across the globe, and it takes Y/n so much strength and concentration to control them. The temperatures have dropped significantly, too, and there's really nothing Y/n can do about it anymore. It's not unusual for winter, the spirits shouldn't be upset, so Y/n should be fine.

But she's not fine, really.

She wants to see Sana.

She wants to hear about her day, wants to hear her laugh, see her smile, make sure she doesn't go out with dumb girls who will only hurt her again in the end.

But that's stupid, because Sana is lonely, so of course she's going to go on dates.

No matter how douchey these girls might be, they can give Sana so much more than Y/n ever could.

They couldn't even go outside together. All they ever did was sit in Sana's bedroom and talk.

For a moment, Y/n is scared. Scared that Sana might even be happy about her leaving, because Sana is too nice of a person, so even if she wanted Y/n gone, she probably didn't have the heart to tell her to fuck off.

A week ahead of Christmas, and one week after Y/n saw Sana for the last time, she's sitting in an abandoned tree house at a playground late at night, sulking and wondering what she's going to do, because staying away doesn't get easier. It only seems to get harder, and Y/n's heart feels heavier with every day she can't see the other girl.

She sees something flash in the corner of her eyes, and when she glances to the side, she sees golden fleck floating in the air. A second later, Mina's head pops up at the broken window of the wooden tree house, her eyes wide and concerned. "Here you are!"

Y/n sighs and sits up, her hands buried in the pockets of her hoodie. "Hey, Minari."

Mina floats inside, sitting down in front of Y/n. The glow from her skin illuminates the darkness inside the cold tree house, like the flame of a candle. "I haven't seen you around in forever. Are you okay?"

"Define okay."

Mina frowns. "Hey... what happened? Is this about your girl?"

Y/n flinches, and her eyes start watering. Her girl. God, she wishes. "Mina. I messed up."

"Why? What happened?"

"I think I-" Y/n takes a shaky breath, bites down on her lower lip to stop it from trembling. "I like her a little too much."

Mina's lips part when she understands, and she makes a sad sound. "Oh no."

Y/n sniffles and looks away, trying to hide her face. "It was only a matter of time before the other spirits found out."

"Wait-they found out? Did they-Did they get to her?"

Y/n shakes her head. "No. Only Jihyo knows, but she was going to tell the guardians if I kept going. I stopped seeing Sana. I think she should be fine."

"But... Jihyo wouldn't do that to you. She's the spirit of love."

Y/n scoffs. "Are we talking about the same person here? She might as well be the spirit of hell, if you ask me."

"Don't say that," Mina mumbles. "Is that what all those snow storms are about? You're sad," She states the obvious.

"I'm sorry. I've been trying to control them, but it's hard."

"Y/n." Mina shakes her head. "This isn't okay. You've done nothing wrong."

"It doesn't matter. It's over. It's better this way."

"What about your girl? Will she be okay?"

"I'm sure she will," Y/n mutters bitterly. "She doesn't need me."

"Did you ask her?" Mina asks with a strange look in her golden eyes. "If she needs you or not?"

"She was fine before meeting me, and she will be fine now, too."

Mina shakes her head. "You can't know that. You can't just waltz into peoples' lives and expect them to be okay when you suddenly up and leave. That's selfish, Y/n."

Y/n curls her fingers into fists, her eyebrows furrowing helplessly. "I-I did it for her. I don't want them to touch her, Mina. I just want the best for her."

"So let her decide what's best for her," Mina gently says. "Don't be like this, Y/n. You're miserable, and I'm sure she's not doing much better, either. You should go check up on her. At least explain the situation to her so she isn't left in the dark, hm?"

Y/n presses the sleeve of her sweater against her nose, two dark dots from her runny nostrils appearing in the fabric. "I don't know if I should. What if she doesn't want to see me?"

Mina shrugs, like everything is so simple. "Then you'll at least know. You need to stop sulking around. The world needs you, okay? Christmas is only a week away. We rely on you."

The words feel like a warm blanket around her freezing heart. She's sure Mina truly means what she says, even if she doubts that the rest of the world really cares about her. "Alright. I'll talk to her."

"You do that." Mina smiles and stands up, dusting off the back of her pants. Golden light particles fly everywhere, dancing in the air like tiny fireflies. "I have some nightmares to chase away."

Her friend disappears then, and leaves Y/n sitting alone in the darkness again. Not for too long though, because it's been too many days since she's last heard Sana's voice, and she doesn't think she can physically go any longer like this.

And Mina is right. Even if Sana doesn't want to see her anymore, at least Y/n won't be feeling guilty about being a bad friend and leaving Sana hanging.

Y/n teleports to Sana's apartment in the blink of an eye. She has no idea what the time is, but the streets are empty, and only a few of the many windows of Sana's apartment complex are lit up this late. Y/n quickly flies up to Sana's window, only to freeze when she arrives to it being wide open.

At first, Y/n thinks someone might've broken in, but that's so freaking stupid. Sana's apartment is on the eighth floor for god's sake.

Her initial confusion is quickly replaced with concern as she climbs inside and finds that the temperature in Sana's bedroom is exactly the same as the freezing air outside. Y/n curses and hastily shuts the window. Did Sana leave and forgot to close the window? It feels like it's been open for hours.

But then Y/n turns around and feels her heart drop when she spots Sana in her bed, covered by her blankets, seemingly asleep. Y/n rushes over and puts her hand on Sana's covered shoulder, and gasps when her eyes take in Sana's face.

Her lips are almost blue.

"Sana," Y/n breathes, her whole body consumed with a kind of fear she's never felt before. She shakes Sana's shoulder, but the girl doesn't respond. She reaches out to touch Sana's forehead and feels her eyes water when it doesn't burn her. Sana's skin is just as cold as Y/n's own. "Sana! Wake up!"

The sleeping girl stirs the tiniest bit, and Y/n reaches up to cup her cheek, gently patting it. She needs Sana to wake up or she's going to lose it.

Sana blinks, almost in slow motion. She opens her mouth, obviously trying to speak, but out comes only a shaky exhale.

Y/n needs to warm her up. She needs to get her body temperature back to normal-

She glances at the bathroom and quickly pushes the sheets off of Sana's body, cradles the girl in her arms and doesn't even think twice before teleporting them to the bathroom together.

"It's okay, it's okay. We'll get you warm again and you'll be fine," Y/n assures Sana, though she doubts the girl is listening to her. She quickly starts filling the bathtub up with warm water, upset that she can't do anything to make the tub fill up faster. She sits down on the floor, holding Sana against her. "Can you hear me, Sana? Why would you do that? Are you out of your mind?"

Sana wheezes a little in her arms. "W-Why..."

That's all she says, and while it breaks Y/n's heart, she's just glad that Sana's awake. She'll be damned if she lets anything happen to her. Y/n makes Sana get in the bathtub, but it's hard, because Sana is refusing to let go of her. "Sana, let go. You need to get in the tub!"

Sana shivers and presses her cold nose against Y/n's neck, clinging to her desperately. "D-Don't leave. P-Please. You s-said you wouldn't leave."

Y/n's heart drops all the way to the pit of her stomach. She feels like crying. Very gently, she pries Sana's hands off of her sweater, and after a bit of struggling, manages to get Sana in the tub.

She sits down on the floor, reaching inside the water to check the temperature, trying not to hiss when it gets in contact with her cold skin. She turns the tap off once the water threatens to spill over. The water is steaming, and Sana is blinking drowsily, still trembling, her lips not as blue anymore but still very pale compared to the usual red.

Y/n lets out a nervous breath, her arms resting on the edge of the tub as she watches Sana. "What were you thinking? Going to sleep with the window open? You could've-" Y/n can't even bring herself to finish that sentence.

Sana turns to look at her. "You came."

Y/n swallows heavily and shakes her head. "Sana..."

"I thought m-maybe you'd come back. If I left t-the window open for you."

"You're so stupid," Y/n whispers, her eyes stinging horribly. What would've happened if she didn't show up tonight? "I was so fucking scared, Sana."

Sana doesn't say anything, just keeps staring at Y/n for a long time, until her skin stops looking so dull and grey, and her cheeks flush with the rush of blood in her body. Y/n carefully reaches out to touch her forehead and sighs in relief when she finds that it's significantly warmer again.

She helps the girl out of the tub once the water has cooled down. She makes sure Sana puts on warm clothes, and turns the heater on despite Sana complaining about the heating costs.

After that, Sana sits down on her bed, a cup of tea in her hands and a blanket wrapped around her shoulders,

Y/n is on the other side of the room. She doesn't trust herself to get closer, but her eyes are on the girl at all times. She's still shaken up from what happened, from finding Sana half frozen, so she just wants to make sure the girl is okay.

The silence breaks when Sana sneezes.

"How are you feeling?" Y/n finally asks, her voice cracking.

"Where did you go?" Sana asks instead of answering Y/n's question. Her voice is flat, and she looks so tired. Her eyes aren't glinting the way they usually do, and Y/n wishes she would find anger in them, but all she sees is hurt and betrayal, and that's so much worse.

"It's... complicated, Sana."

Sana frowns. "I just. I thought... I tried looking for you. B-But I didn't even know where to begin. I went to the park-"

"Sana-"

"And I waited there but you didn't come. I was really worried," Sana whispers. Her face scrunches up a little, and she whimpers, and Y/n's chest aches when she sees the girl's eyes spill over. Her tears fall down her flushed cheeks like crystals. "I m-missed you. Why w-would you leave without t-telling me? I m-missed you so much, Y/n."

Y/n has a hard time getting words out. "But- Why would you miss me?"

Sana tries to smile. "For someone who has superpowers, you sure can be dense, Y/n."

"I didn't think you'd care," Y/n tries to explain herself.

"How could I not care?" Sana asks. "I was with you every night for almost three weeks. I thought you cared enough to at least tell me before disappearing on me."

"I do care!" Y/n flies forward before she can stop herself, until she's kneeling in front of Sana. "I care about you. It's why I left."

"Is that supposed to make sense?" Sana bitterly asks, her gaze lowered to her lap. "At least be honest with me. If you're sick of me, you can just say so."

Y/n pulls a pained face, because this is so hard. She hates lying to Sana, she hates giving her only half the truth all the time, but she's torn between wanting to be someone Sana can trust and not breaking the spirit laws. "Sana we're not- Spirits aren't allowed to get in touch with humans unless they're still little kids. I disregarded every rule in the book just to hang out with you. You don't know what they would've done to you if they found out about us."

Sana's eyes start watering again. "Then why did you try so hard to get me to see you? Why make me grow attached to you if you're just going to abandon me in the end?"

Y/n shakes her head and reaches up, her hands aching to touch Sana's cheeks. "Because I'm selfish and don't think my actions through. But Sana... please, you have to believe me. I didn't like staying away from you, either. I wouldn't have left if I had the choice."

Sana sniffles, her lower lip wobbling. "Can I ask you something?"

Y/n nods her head silently.

"Can spirits... can they grow fond of humans?" Sana gives Y/n a look that has the spirit's mind go numb.

"They shouldn't."

"But they can," Sana stubbornly continues, her beautiful eyes so determined Y/n can't focus on anything else anymore.

"It's forbidden."

Sana leans closer, looking desperate. "Do I have a chance, Y/n?"

The spirit lets out a weak chuckle, but it comes out shaky, her chest heaving as her eyes gaze into Sana's own. "My heart was fond of you the second I laid eyes on you, Sana. So what do you think?"

Sana's breath falters, and her eyes flicker over Y/n's face almost nervously, like she's trying to understand if Y/n is being serious or not. "Don't- please don't mess with me, Y/n-"

"I'm not," Y/n interrupts, and then, just because she's already in too deep and has nothing to lose, she reaches up and cups Sana's soft cheeks in her cold palms.

Sana leans into the touch at first but jerks away a second later, a panicked look on her face. "W-Wait, you said it hurts when you touch me!"

"I lied... It doesn't hurt. I just- I thought it would just complicate things more if you touched me," Y/n admits, her cheeks flushing.

Listening to her words, Sana slowly leans back in, her hands reaching out to guide Y/n's own back to her cheeks. They both seem so nervous, but at least Y/n isn't alone in this, feeling like she's going to burst when Sana nestles her cheeks into her palms.

Y/n feels Sana's warmth, and Sana feels the cold of Y/n's skin. Sana's eyes never leave her own, and when Y/n carefully brushes her thumb over Sana's cheek, the girl sighs and closes her eyes, completely melting into Y/n's touch. It's so foreign to Y/n, another person basking in her own touch. She wants to hold Sana, make her feel safe and show her that she cares, that she's there for her, in any way the girl will have her.

She just wants so much than she's allowed to have in that single moment.

"I really like you," Sana whispers, her lips brushing over Y/n's wrist. The spirit shivers, barely able to make sense of Sana's words. "I think I've liked you for a while now, Y/n."

Y/n shakes her head. "Why?"

The other girl gives her a little smile. "Do you really want to know?"

"I just- You're so amazing. You could give your heart to anyone," Y/n mumbles, rubbing her thumb over Sana's cheekbone and watching the skin underneath flush slightly. "I'm... I'm not even real to the world."

"Don't." Sana shakes her head and shuffles closer to the edge of the bed. She spreads her legs so Y/n is kneeling between them just so she can get closer to her, and leans in until their foreheads are almost touching. "You say I'm amazing, but you took care of me before we even knew each other. You've visited me every night just so I wouldn't be alone. You listen to all my boring stories. You make me laugh. You showed me the freaking northern lights, Y/n. I don't- I don't care that you're... different. I like you for all of those things."

Y/n doesn't realize she's crying until Sana whines and pulls her into her arms. Sana presses close against her, her arms wrapped around Y/n's neck and her face buried in Y/n's shoulder. She smells sweet, not like the other night after her date with that loser. She smells like Sana, that scent that clings to her skin, and it calms Y/n's erratic heartbeat down, makes her wrap her arms around Sana's waist to pull her even closer. The spirit closes her eyes and noses along Sana's neck.

She feels so... human. All these emotions. The pleasant ache in her heart, the urge to have this girl closer, to make her happy, like she cares more about her well being than her own. Y/n never wants to let go. "You shouldn't think so highly of me," Y/n breathes, feels Sana shiver in her arms when her lips brush over the girl's pulse on her neck.

"Y/n-" Sana starts, ready to defend the spirit again.

"I visited you every day mostly because I couldn't stay away from you," Y/n admits. "It wasn't as selfless as you think."

Sana stays silent for a moment, before muffling a little laugh against Y/n's hoodie. She pulls away to peer into Y/n's eyes, her smile shy but so genuine it makes Y/n's heart swell. "I'm not mad about that."

Y/n smiles, her arms still wound around Sana's waist. "I missed hearing your laugh."

Sana grins and lowers her gaze, her fingers playing with Y/n's hair around her nape. She can't see it, but it makes tiny snowflakes fall down Y/n's back. "Hey... You're not going to leave again, are you?"

The warm atmosphere flickers, and Y/n's face clouds over with something darker. She's about to open her mouth, to assure Sana that she won't, when she hears a weird sound behind her. She turns her head to look, and feels her heart stutter at the sight.

There are two guardians standing in front of the window, both men dressed in the spirit world's armour, their eyes zeroed in on Y/n.

"We have to take you with us," One of them says.

Y/n swallows heavily. Not now. Please not now.

"Y/n?" Sana asks, her hands coming up to cup Y/n's face and turn her back so the spirit is facing her again. Sana can't see or hear the guards. "What's wrong?"

The genuine concern on Sana's face breaks her heart, and Y/n can't do more than give her what she hopes is a genuine smile. "Nothing."

"If you don't come willingly, we will have to detain you," One of the guardians says, starting to sound impatient.

"Sana, I..." Y/n clears her throat. "I have something to take care of." Watching Sana's face fall, she quickly adds "But I will be back right after. I won't be gone for long."

Sana seems to realize something isn't quite right, because worry fills her eyes. "Are you in trouble?"

"I'll be okay, don't worry," Y/n whispers. "But I have to go now."

"Y/n..." Sana's voice wobbles. "D-Don't disappear again. Please."

Y/n gives her a sad smile, wants nothing more than to crawl into Sana's warm bed and hold her girl for the rest of eternity, but she can feel the force of the guardians tugging on her, forcing her to let go of Sana. "Just don't do anything stupid again, okay? Promise me."

Sana nods and watches helplessly as Y/n pulls away from her. "I'll wait for you."

Y/n wants to tell her not to, because she doesn't know what's going to happen now, but one of the guardians suddenly grips her shoulder, and before Y/n can say something else, they teleport her away.

When Y/n opens her eyes again, she's where she never would've willingly went again.

She's back in the spirit world.

Not only that, she's at the base, where most spirits gather whenever there's an emergency.

And when the guards step away from her, Y/n drops on her ass, because she hasn't teleported this far in years and her body isn't as used to it anymore. She curses under her breath and looks up angrily when someone calls her name.

"Fancy seeing you here."

Y/n grits her teeth together.

Of course it was Jihyo who ratted her out.

Y/n doesn't even bother answering the other spirit, not wanting to entertain her anymore than she probably already has by screwing up so hard and, well, ending up here.

The main door to the assembly room opens, and a flood of other spirits stream inside.

Momo looks at Y/n with shock all over her face, followed by Dahyun who gives her a friendly smile, despite looking worried out of her mind.

Mina doesn't look much better, and she seems like she wants to rush to Y/n's side, but the guardians next to Y/n shoot her a warning look.

There are other spirits there, like Jisoo, who doesn't even look at her, probably knowing she played some part in this, but doesn't want to get in trouble for it, and Y/n understands her, doesn't blame her for it.

The last ones to step inside are Santa and mother nature, and the disappointed look in their eyes as they look at Y/n only fuel her anger and frustration more.

"What a happy family gathering," Y/n mutters. "You guys could've at least organized some food, you know."

"Y/n," Mother Nature - otherwise known as Irene - calls her name like an actual mother would with her child that just did something bad. "I believe it's not the best time for jokes."

"Is it ever?" Y/n asks, shaking her head. She's so fucking tired. Her anger fades away when she thinks about Sana, sitting alone in her bedroom. It's only been minutes, but Y/n misses her so much. She just wants to be with her, nothing else.

"It was brought to our attention that you've been in contact with a mortal," Irene continues.

Y/n's eyes flicker to Jihyo, who meets her gaze dead-on. No remorse whatsoever.

She actually might just be satan in disguise. Y/n wants to shove her stupid arrows up her-

"You've been neglecting the rules for years now," Santa continues. "We've always let you get away with it, seeing as you never actually committed crimes. But this- Y/n, it's the first rule in our book. The one thing we simply can't turn a blind eye to."

Y/n watches their faces quietly. They all look human, but... more, in a way. Their clothes, their hair, their glowing eyes, the magic surrounding them. Y/n wonders how many of them feel like they're better than humans. Like they didn't use to be human too, before they got turned.

"So," Y/n mutters. "What happens now? Are you going to lock me away? Find a replacement?"

Irne shakes her head. "The man in the moon still believes that you are cut out for this job. I talked to him, and he said that you're the soul of Jack Frost. So no, we're not finding a replacement for you. We still want you with us, Y/n. But there will be consequences."

"Like what?"

"You can't see the human again," She says.

Y/n feels her stomach drop, her face falling, but she catches herself just as fast. "You can't stop me."

"No, we can, and we will," Irene interjects. "The girl's memories of you will be erased, and you will go back to focusing on your job the way you are supposed to."

"Don't-" Y/n starts, feeling panic rise in her chest. She can't let them touch Sana. She won't let them. "Don't you dare-"

"It's only four months out of the year, Y/n, yet you can't even stay focused and stay out of trouble during that. The other seasons pass with no issues, yet when it comes to winter, we always run into trouble. I am quite frankly sick of it. If the man in the moon wasn't so fond of you, I would've stripped you of your powers in an instant."

"Irene," Santa gently speaks up. "Don't say that."

Irene closes her eyes as if to calm herself down. "Those are the consequences, Y/n."

"No, please," Y/n tries again, her anger slowly blending into desperation. "Don't do anything to her. She didn't do anything wrong. It was me."

"We're not going to hurt her, Y/n," Santa gently says. "We just can't risk her revealing our secret to the world. You have to understand that."

"She won't! She wouldn't! Please, hear me out, just- take my powers! Leave her out of this."

A collective gasp is heard in the room, and when Y/n looks up, she can see Momo shaking her head desperately.

Mina gives her a sad yet understanding smile.

"You- You are willing to give up your powers for a mortal?" Irene asks.

"Yes, I am, and her name is Sana."

Irene seems taken aback by the sheer anger in Y/n's voice, but she catches herself quickly. "Either way, we can't do that. Who is to say you won't expose us out of revenge?"

"I don't care, okay? I don't care about you just like you guys don't care about me! I just want to- I want to have a life again. I don't want to be invisible to everyone. None of you know how it is, kids believe in all of you, or at least the other spirits have their friends here. None of you tried to make me feel included, always made it seem like my job was silly and useless. "

"Y/n, that's not true," Mina speaks up, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. Y/n shoots her and Momo a soft look. They're about the only ones who care about Y/n in this stupid world.

Irene doesn't seem fazed in the slightest. "You have two choices. Either we erase that girl's memories and you can keep your powers, or you give them up today, and we will make sure that neither of you will remember what transpired between you two."

Y/n lets out a humourless laugh. "That's just- I can't win either way, huh? That's just great. Fuck you all."

"Y/n! That's enough." Santa gives her a scolding look and Y/n turns her head away, her jaw clenched, tears welling in her eyes.

She feels so helpless and alone. "Can I... Can I see her? One last time? I just want to say goodbye. Please."

Seeing something waver in Irene's green eyes, Y/n clings to the last piece of hope. She can't accept either of these options; she can't accept waking up with no memories of Sana, or not having the girl remember her anymore.

Technically, she knows it hasn't been that long since she's known Sana. It shouldn't be this hard, the thought of them having to go separate ways. But something in Y/n is so against the idea of being apart from the girl that she can't even handle the thought of it.

She nods her head towards the guardians on Y/n's side. "Take her downstairs until we make a decision."

Momo lets out a shout of protest at that, and people start speaking up around them.

Downstairs most probably means the containment room, not quite a jail, but usually a place where spirits have to go who committed a crime.

Y/n scoffs and lets the guards take her away. They shove her inside the room rather roughly and lock the door. A buzzing sound surrounds the room, and even though Y/n already knows what will happen, she tries to use her powers.

Nothing happens.

The magic surrounding the chamber makes her powers useless.

She sighs and sits down against the brick wall. There's nothing there. Just a square room with a small vent in the corner so people won't suffocate in here.

Y/n takes a few deep breaths, trying to sort out her emotions, because she finds it hard to tell if she's angry or upset or sad.

Then she thinks of Sana, and finds that she's not angry, but she feels desperate, and scared.

She doesn't want these powers anymore.

She wants to be human again.

Wants another chance at life.

Y/n has never felt welcome here, never felt like she was truly part of any of these people, but being with Sana, spending time with the girl, she's felt more loved and wanted than ever before in her life.

At first, Y/n thought that becoming a spirit was a blessing. An escape from her horrible life, that in retrospect maybe wasn't that bad at all.

Everyone struggles in their lives.

Y/n has seen homeless people, people having money problems, people fighting, people getting sick, people losing their loved ones...

But she's also seen people having fun with their friends, people spending Christmas with their families, people finally getting that salary raise at a job they'd been working their butts off, people finding love, people protecting each other.

Y/n only remembers the negative aspects of her old life, but there must've been happy moments, too. And she wants them back. She wants grow old and create new memories, bad and good ones.

But maybe she won't get a chance to.

And Sana will find someone else to be with, and just the thought makes her heart crumble and her eyes well up with hot tears.

God, she doesn't want to imagine Sana with someone else. She doesn't want anyone else to touch her girl, because Y/n didn't even get the chance to love her properly.

Y/n sniffles pathetically and rubs at her eyes. She wishes things weren't like this. So complicated.

Her powers suddenly make her feel like a caged in animal, like she has no choice but to do this for the rest of her life.

For the first time ever, Y/n feels doomed rather than blessed.

There's no way of telling how long she sits in here. It might be just minutes, it might be hours.

She just sits there while she waits for other people decide on her faith.

At one point, she falls asleep, and wakes up to the guardians hauling her up to her feet. They drag her back upstairs, back to the assembly room, where only Irene is present this time around.

Y/n shakes the grips of the guardians off rather roughly and fixes her sweater. Her eyes flicker around the room, and she realizes that the moon is out.

Her stomach sinks. She must've been down there for at least a whole day, if not longer. She told Sana she'd come back quickly.

She needs to go back.

Irene is facing the glass, her head tilted back as if she's looking up at the moon. Her raven hair is braided, flowers laced into the strands, and it nearly touches the ground. Y/n remembers thinking she was the most beautiful person she'd ever seen.

That definitely isn't the case anymore. Her definition of beauty comes in the form of warm brown eyes, wind blown hair and a toothy smile.

Y/n hears her exhale loudly, and then she turns around to face her. The moon is shining bright and big behind her, surrounding her frame like a halo.

Her face isn't illuminated, only her green eyes glowing in the dark. "The man in the moon made his decision."

Y/n swallows nervously, her eyes flickering up to the moon. She isn't sure if she has the moon on her side. She never managed to get in touch with the moon spirit.

She knows Mina talks to the man from time to time, but Y/n's never been able to.

She always figured that the man in the moon didn't like her all that much either, so right now, she's accordingly anxious.

"Take her away," Irene suddenly says, after looking at Y/n for a long time.

"Wait!" Y/n steps away when the guardians try to grab her again. "What's going on? What's the decision?"

"You'll see," Irene says.

"Will I get to see her again?"

Irene sighs. "Always so many questions, Y/n. I think that's what annoyed me the most about you. You were never able to just do your job. You always needed answers to everything. Your curiosity reminds of that of a child."

Y/n glares at her. "If you just answered my question, I wouldn't have to ask."

"We never took you for granted," Irene suddenly says, her eyes softening. "The man in the moon doesn't make mistakes. He chose you because your soul was so pure, and your intentions were never malicious. Not once did you do anything to hurt someone. I realize now, that we should've appreciated you more."

Y/n lowers her head, not really sure what to do or how to feel.

Isn't that what she's been wanting to hear for so long?

So why do the words she's been longing for offer so little comfort right now?

"Goodbye, Y/n," Irene says with a rueful sigh.

Y/n's head snaps up, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Wh-"

Before she can get the words out, the grips on her arms are back.

The world around her zooms away, and the last thing she sees is the bright glow of the moon.

Then, everything goes black.

. * 　　　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 .

Y/n wakes up in her own apartment.

The only time she has felt this confused and disoriented was the day she woke up to be a spirit all those years ago.

Her head feels like it's filled with cement, and her tongue is completely numb.

She sits up in her bed groggily, her body aching all over. When she looks out the window, it's still dark outside, so she couldn't have been passed out for too long.

Her memories start to come back little by little, and Y/n feels relieved, but only for a split second, because if she still has her memories, it can only mean one thing.

Y/n's heart drops at the realization of the decision they made.

"No," She croaks. "No, no, no, please-"

Y/n stumbles out of her bed, and her first instinct is to teleport to Sana's apartment before she starts freaking out, but she's still too out of it, so her powers refuse to work, even after several attempts.

Y/n wrenches her door open and runs downstairs and out the building. Sana's apartment is on the other side of the town, and without her powers, it'll take her forever to get there, but Y/n doesn't even care anymore.

She just wants to see Sana.

She needs to see her, she has to make sure they didn't actually-

They couldn't have, right?

They couldn't have been cruel enough to do that.

Y/n runs so fast her lungs start burning. The air is ice cold, and the streets are practically deserted again. Y/n is so focused on getting to Sana, she doesn't even realize that her feet start hurting from the cold pavement.

What she does realize is the strange look a couple shoots her.

Y/n doesn't pay them any mind at first, but then an old man stares at her and then glances down at her feet, shaking his head gruffly.

Y/n stops running for a moment, confusion cursing through her.

What's going on?

She sees a girl approach her and says "Excuse me?"

And she just-

She looks up at her with a wary look. "Yes?"

Y/n freaks out.

She-

She can see her.

Y/n is visible.

But how?

"S-Sorry," She stutters out and starts walking, her thoughts running wild as she tries to make sense of the situation.

She passes a store and looks at the glass display, her breath getting caught in her throat.

Her hair... it's brown.

Like it used to be, back when she was-

Human.

Her powers don't work.

Her hair is back to brown.

She's currently freezing her ass off.

People can see her.

Y/n's chest starts heaving as she realizes what the man in the moon decided on. She feels scared and excited, the wave of emotions making her feel sick to the stomach, and she knows she should be freaking out about the fact that suddenly, she's back to being mortal after so many years, but still.

There's still one thing that scares her way more than her current state.

What did they do to Sana?

Y/n starts running again, not caring about the weird looks she's getting.

She spots Sana's school and knows that she has to be close to the girl's apartment, but her legs hurt and there's a stabbing pain on her right side. It feels like her body is about to give out.

Just as Y/n passes Sana's school, she sees a familiar tuft of hair appear in front of the main entrance.

Y/n skids to a stop on a patch of ice, slips and stops herself from completely falling with her hands. She's gasping for air and watches as Sana walks across the campus with a racing heart.

Sana.

There's nothing else on her mind anymore, just Sana, like nothing else in the world matters.

Y/n forces her legs to move even though everything hurts. She needs to check. She needs to make sure that nothing changed, that they're still... that Sana still-

The girl looks so tired.

The dark circles under her eyes look terrible, and her lips are pale. Sana looks like a mess, and Y/n wonders how that could've happened in just a day.

Sana keeps walking, hasn't spotted her yet.

By now, Y/n is walking behind the girl, her bare feet barely making a sound on the cold pavement. No one else is on the campus.

Just them two.

Y/n takes a shuddery breath, curls her trembling fingers into fists.

She's shaking all over. Everything is so cold.

"Sana."

It's barely more than a whisper, but Sana slowly stops walking. She stands still for a few seconds, and Y/n doesn't know why, but her eyes start prickling.

She's so scared.

Sana turns around, slowly, and then-

She just stares.

She stares at Y/n, but doesn't say a thing. She doesn't react at all. She just stares blankly, like she's seeing Y/n for the first time.

Y/n's face crumbles.

Sana doesn't remember her.

They really did it, they really went through with it-

"S-Sana," She tries again, her voice shaking. "Please. I'm here. I came back. Y-You know me, right? Please don't do this..."

Sana blinks a few times, and she suddenly moves, curls her fingers into Y/n's sweater and pulls her into a bone crushing hug. Y/n gasps, and Sana whimpers into her shoulder, clinging to her so tightly Y/n can barely breathe. "Y-You need to stop doing this! You can't keep doing this to me!"

Y/n doesn't care anymore. She's sobbing now, frantically. "You remember me?"

"Of course I do, what kind of question is that?" Sana whispers and turns to press her face into Y/n's shoulder, pulling her even closer. "God, Y/n, I was so scared. You were gone so long. I thought- I thought-"

"W-What?" Y/n pulls away, her trembling hands coming up to cup Sana's cheeks. She tries to wipe away Sana's tears, but her fingers are completely numb. "I was only gone for a day."

Sana makes a choked up sound and shakes her head. "No, Y/n. It's been a month."

"What? How- I was- yesterday..." She has no idea what's happening. How could she have been gone for a month? She was in the spirit world just yesterday, she couldn't have been there for a whole month.

Did it take this long for her to turn human again? Is that it?

"What happened?" Sana asks, more tears spilling over. She looks so sad, so worried, and Y/n just wants to make everything okay again. "Did they punish you? Y/n- are you okay? They didn't hurt you, did they? I was so worried. I was so worried but I didn't know what to do, I waited for you, I've been sitting in front of the window every single day, I missed you so much- and what happened to your hair?"

"I'm fine, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I disappeared again," Y/n whispers and pulls the girl closer. Her lips are numb, but she shakily presses them against Sana's temple. "Sana, I'm... I don't know what's going on but I think I'm not a spirit anymore."

Sana sniffles and pulls back, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "W-What?" Her eyes flicker up to Y/n's hair, and she shakes her head. "Why's your hair brown?"

"I think I'm h-human again," Y/n stutters. Her words don't come out right, her teeth chattering violently. "I t-think they- I told them t-to take my powers, I think t-they-"

"Y/n, you're- you're freezing!" Sana whimpers and pulls her closer. "Oh god, you're really- oh shit. Oh fuck, okay, okay." Sana puts her backpack down and takes off her coat despite Y/n cursing at her to keep it on. She makes Y/n put it on and pulls up the hood. "We need to- get inside. Get you inside. Come on!"

She's trembling all over, can't even feel her hand when Sana takes it in her own. The girl looks worried out of her mind as she pulls Y/n through the streets. Y/n doesn't look away from Sana, can't bring herself to. Sana tells her to focus on walking, but Y/n doesn't care.

Once they're in Sana's apartment, Sana makes Y/n take a hot shower.

"I don't want to," Y/n protests. "Sana- wait- please just let me-"

"Shut up!" Sana pushes her towards the shower stall. "I need you to warm up."

It isn't until the water has warmed Y/n up to her bones and she managed to get through what she thinks was a minor panic attack in the shower, that she can finally sit down on Sana's bed, in a shirt and a pair of sweatpants that belong to Sana, that Sana allows Y/n to wrap her arms around her and pull her into a tight embrace.

"Y/n." Sana sighs and shakes her head against her neck. "God. You had me so worried. Please stop, my heart can't take it."

"I'm sorry. No more. I promise." Y/n pulls back to look at Sana, feels her heart flutter at how pretty the girl looks. "Well. So much for my cool superpowers."

Sana smiles wobbly. "I don't care about your stupid powers. Just don't leave again."

Y/n clears her throat, feels her cheeks heat up. "Uhm. Sana... I. There are a bunch of reasons why I didn't want to be a spirit anymore. But I just... I need you to know, that you were one of them. I like you. Like... a lot."

The other girl smiles, her eyes almost disappearing. "Yeah?"

Y/n nods, her whole face softening as she looks at the girl. She can't handle all these feelings, she really can't. They make her want to run away and hide, but if they're going to make Sana smile this prettily, Y/n is willing to try. "Do you... I mean. Do you still?"

"Yes!" Sana bites down on her lip after her outburst. "I- yes. Y/n. I like you. So fucking much."

There's a moment where they both just grin at each other, Y/n's heart thudding against her ribcage so hard she worries it will just squeeze past her ribs and plop down on the mattress between them. Sana looks so soft, her bangs falling into her eyes messily, her lips bitten red, the sweater a little too big on her.

Y/n feels a little breathless.

Sana's eyes flicker down to Y/n's lips, and then up to her eyes, and back down to her lips. "Can I?"

Swallowing nervously, Y/n nods her head, and then Sana is right there, leaning in so close Y/n can feel her hasty breaths against her lips. Sana smells like coffee, and the sudden proximity almost drives Y/n mad. She opens her mouth, but finds no words. Her eyebrows draw together almost desperately, the tension too much to handle-

And then Sana's soft lips touch her own, and Y/n's eyes flutter closed. The tension crackles, and when Y/n breathes out heavily through her nose and completely melts into the touch, the tension breaks entirely, leaving room for a feeling that's hard to describe.

It just feels good. So good, and so right, and all Y/n can think is finally.

Sana pulls away, and they both open their eyes at the same time. Sana smiles at her, her eyes sparkling. "Was that okay?"

"More than okay," Y/n breathes in a daze. She can't stop staring at Sana. That was her first kiss, and Sana has shown her a whole new world, one Y/n doesn't want to explore with anyone else but the girl right in front of her. "Can we do it again?"

Sana laughs giddily and pulls Y/n in, pressing their foreheads together. "We can do it as much as you want. We have all the time in the world now, right?"

Y/n smiles and nuzzles their noses together. Her chest is flooded with warmth and happiness. This is all she ever wanted and more. "Yeah, yeah, we do."

They don't get much sleep that night.

Y/n tries to explain to Sana what happened while she was gone, but it is understandably very confusing to the girl, no matter how hard Sana tries to follow, so Y/n spares her the details.

"So will there be a new winter spirit?" Sana asks. She has yet to let go of Y/n, and while Y/n likes Sana's touch, she knows that the girl is scared Y/n will just vanish again if she lets go, and that makes her feel so bad that she holds Sana tighter in return.

"Eventually. I think for now, Irene- I mean. Mother nature will take care of it," Y/n explains.

It's weird.

She was never particularly fond of the spirit world or the other spirits, but there were Mina and Momo. She didn't even get to say goodbye.

She just hopes she'll get to see them again.

Hopes the guardians didn't prohibit them from seeing Y/n.

"You're happy though, right?" Sana asks, resting her head on Y/n's chest. She must be able to feel the excited thumps of her heart.

"I've never been happier, Sana," Y/n breathes into her ear, smiling when Sana shivers and tightens her arms around Y/n.

The girl peers up at her through her bangs, looks at Y/n's mouth, and then almost innocently, meets Y/n's eyes again.

"Do you want something?" Y/n asks softly.

Sana smiles. "Goodnight kiss?"

Y/n leans down and closes her eyes. Pecks Sana's soft mouth softly, her insides twisting and turning as she presses their lips together. It's sweet and warm, and Y/n finds it hard to stop once she tastes Sana's lips. "Could do that forever," She whispers, a little out of breath.

Sana licks her lips and chuckles, looking slightly dazed, too. She moves to rest her head on Y/n's chest again. "Forever can wait. You need to rest."

Y/n sighs and pulls the girl closer, closing her eyes. "Goodnight, Sana."

"Goodnight, Y/n."

Y/n wakes up early the next morning, and her bladder is screaming.

It's a weird feeling.

She hasn't had the urge to use the restroom in so long. She'll have to get used to these things again. Getting hungry, needing to pee, having to shower...

Sana has moved off of her in the night, but her hand is still clinging to Y/n's chest, and the sight makes her smile, her chest flooding with fondness.

She can't quite believe yet that this is her life now.

It's a grey day outside, but it's still a nice morning, the room still quite dark since it's so early. Y/n leans down to brush her thumb over Sana's soft cheek and pulls away as quietly as she can, not wanting to wake the student.

She sees herself for the first time in the mirror after using the toilet, and she doesn't really know if she likes it or not.

Her face is still the same, of course, but her eyes are darker, her skin has more color to it, and her silver hair is now a warm brown. She looks so... normal. So mundane.

Y/n sighs as she stares at her reflection. She knows Sana didn't start liking her for her powers, but she feels oddly... empty now.

She has nothing to offer, absolutely nothing but her genuine affection for the girl, and she wonders how long that will be enough.

She really didn't think this through, did she?

She doesn't even have money.

Her happy mood fades and makes way for worry as she exits the bathroom, and she's so deeply lost in her thoughts she doesn't immediately spot the person sitting at the kitchen counter until they clear their throat and nearly make Y/n jump out of her skin.

"Hi friend."

Y/n glares at Jihyo's form, stepping away from her. "What are you doing here?"

"Brown suits you," Jihyo says with a smile. "I just wanted to check up on you. Make sure you didn't die in the process of mortalizing you again, you know."

"Drop the act, Jihyo," Y/n spits. "And don't come here again, understand? Leave me alone."

Jihyo stares at her for a moment before shaking her head. "I know what you think. I didn't do anything, Y/n."

Y/n scoffs and crosses her arms in front of her chest. "Of course you did. You even threatened to do it."

"Oh, come on. You know I like to run my mouth." Jihyo rolls her eyes. "I'm Cupid, you idiot. Do you seriously think I have it in me to split two people apart who clearly are destined to be together?"

Y/n shrugs. "I wouldn't put it past you."

Jihyo shakes her head. "You and that girl. I hope you know that's not just lust and affection. Try soulmates."

Y/n's features slip, and she glances at the bedroom where Sana is sleeping. Her heart stutters and suddenly screams at her to go back to the girl, to cuddle her and kiss her and just be near her, like the living room is too far away to bear. "I don't need you to tell me how I feel about her."

"I know you don't, but I can sense these things. I just thought you'd like to know. These things are rare these days. You're very lucky, Y/n." Jihyo purses her lips for a moment before letting out a sigh, and for a second, Y/n thinks this is the first time Jihyo's actually dropped her act in front of Y/n. She sees the girl for who she is for the very first time, and begrudgingly wonders if she's misjudged the spirit all this time. "I brought something for you."

Y/n warily watches the spirit pull something out of her sachet where she keeps her arrows. It's a white envelope. She steps closer and takes it, turning it over before looking at the spirit again. "What is this?"

"I had to beg Santa to find these," Jihyo mumbles. "Well, Momo and Mina helped, too. You'll need these if you want to survive here."

Y/n feels a little sad, hearing her friends' names. She already misses them a lot. Opening up the envelope, her eyebrows shoot up in surprise and absolute relief when she sees what's inside.

Her old passport is in there, her driver's licence, her credit cards, her birth certificate. Her credit cards are probably out of date, but at least she has something to go on. Y/n slowly closes the envelope again and looks up at the spirit meekly. "... Thank you."

Jihyo smiles and shrugs. "That's okay."

Y/n sighs and nibbles on her lower lip. "I'm sorry for thinking so badly of you. Sometimes you just... I don't know, you were such a pain in the ass, you know?"

Jihyo chuckles and hops off the bar stool. "I know. But it's your fault."

"How's it my fault?!"

"You're so easy to rile up, Y/n. I had a lot of fun making your life a nightmare. I'm going to miss doing that." Jihyo grins at her, and Y/n can't stop herself from smiling back.

"Hey, uhm. Are the others, fine? Are they mad at me? And why didn't they erase my memories?"

Jihyo shakes her head. "The man in the moon decided, Y/n. He trusted you enough not to reveal our secret to the world. And it's not like you abandoned us in a horrible way. They think very fondly of you.

"Oh." Y/n feels the last bit of worry lingering in her chest fade away at the information. "Can I still see Mina and Momo?"

Jihyo nods. "I'm sure they'll visit you every now and then. Any other questions?"

Y/n shakes her head. "Thank you again, Jihyo."

"Yeah," Jihyo mumbles, her smile kind and genuine. "Be happy, yeah?"

"You, too." Y/n gives the spirit a smile and watches her teleport away with a bittersweet feeling in chest.

So.

That's it.

Y/n is officially free.

She looks down at the envelope in her hands, her excitement rising slowly but steadily.

"Y/n?"

Y/n's head snaps to the side where a sleepy looking Sana approaches her. She's barely able to open her eyes, her face puffy and hair all over the place.

Y/n smiles brightly, unable to contain her happiness.

Try soulmates.

"Who were you talking to?" Sana slurs, coming closer, her bare feet padding across the floor softly.

But Y/n doesn't answer, instead pulls the girl into her arms, pressing a soft kiss against her neck before nuzzling the warm skin there. "Good morning."

Sana hums sleepily and melts into her arms. "I'm not dreaming, right? You're really here?"

"I am."

"And you're staying?"

"Yeah."

"And you really like me?" Sana asks, her voice muffled against Y/n's shoulders. They're swaying from side to side.

"I really, really like you, Sana," Y/n whispers into her ear and pulls away after a moment to peer into Sana's warm eyes.

Sana bites down on her bottom lip to try and stop herself from smiling. "I like you more."

"I doubt that."

"Can we... tell each other how much we like each other in bed?" Sana asks, leaning in to rest her head on Y/n's chest. "It's too early. I'm sleepy."

"Come on," Y/n mumbles and grabs her hand, lacing their fingers together as she guides Sana back to her bedroom.

"What's that in your hand?" Sana groggily asks.

Y/n puts the envelope down on the night stand and climbs into the bed after Sana where the girl immediately clings to her like a koala. "My future," Y/n answers.

Her future.

Getting her life back on track.

Figuring out what she wants to become.

The memories she makes and the years she lives through forming creases in her skin as she gets older.

With Sana on her side.

Y/n feels like she's already holding the whole world in her arms when Sana snuggles up against her and starts snoring softly only seconds later.

Everything else is just a bonus.

Before Y/n falls back asleep, she glances out the window.

It's snowing.
----

I'm late but we aren't gonna count that