Straight
Pirate Joe: *drinking*
Princess Katherine: Is that vodka?
Pirate Joe: Yes.
Princess Katherine: Straight?
Pirate Joe: No, bi.
Princess Katherine: The vodka, not you!
How long were you a villain?
Evil Sausage: Wait, guys, I can explain-
Xornoth: You were a villain for two seasons of Empires?! I was only a villain for one!
Great Witch Shelby: Yeah, I was only a villain for one season too, and I wasn't even that good.
Sausage's evil king: You guys weren't defeated in your first appearance?
Pass the phone
Jimmy: *passing the phone to Grian* I'm passing the phone to someone, who if I had to choose between hanging out with them, and having my organs removed one by one, I'd choose the organs.
Grian: *passing the phone to Jimmy* I'm passing the phone to my best friend!
Pass the phone except we're nice to each other
Lizzie: *passing the phone to Joel* I'm Lizzie, and I'm passing the phone to someone who's really good at building in Minecraft.
Joel: *passing the phone to Scott* I am Joel, and I'm passing the phone to the person best at organizing MCC.
Scott: Yeah, my job, the only person who does that, that's my compliment?! *passing the phone to Gem* I am passing the phone on to the person with the best Minecraft skin.
Gem: *passing the phone to fWhip* I am Gem, and I'm passing the phone to someone with the best beard in Minecraft.
fWhip: *passing the phone to Jimmy* I'm fWhip and I'm passing the phone to the best sheriff!
Jimmy: I'm the only sheriff. *passing the phone to Sausage* I'm Jimmy and I'm passing the phone to someone with the cutest little pup.
Sausage: I'm Sausage, and I'm the best!l, thank you! Mwa mwah!
How Joel manages his kids
God Joel: People ask me how I manage my kids so easily. The secret is, I don't. I have no control over them whatsoever. Earlier today, Donald called my name, and when I showed up to see what was going on, Hermes shot me in the throat with a nerf gun.
Bubbles' new trick
Sausage: I trained Bubbles to do a new trick! *throws a stick* Fetch!
Bubbles: *sits there*
fWhip: She didn't do it.
Sausage: I trained her to ignore social cues and think for herself.
What it's like to be tall
King Joel: What's it like to be tall?
Ocean Queen Lizzie: We live in constant fear of the short people, who, from our experience, will climb four chairs, a ladder, and a coffee table to reach what they want.
Shrub: It was one time!
Pirate Joe's umbrella
Pirate Joe: Hey, check out my Spongebob umbrella! *opens the umbrella while indoors*
Great Witch Shelby: Pirate Joe, that's bad luck...
Pirate Joe: Chill out, Shelby!
Xornoth: *kicking down the door* WHO SUMMONED ME?!?!
Shelby and Joe: *screams*
Pix's visitors
Pix: *walking into his house* Hello, people who do not live here.
Pearl: Hey.
Jimmy: Hi.
Sausage: Hello.
fWhip: Hey!
Pix: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!
Sausage: We were out of Doritos.
Sausage's tomato soup
Joel: Where did you get that tomato soup?
Sausage: It's actually a bowl of ketchup I just microwaved.