"What's wrong love?" He asked again.
"Umar, I don't know how to act around you."
The wall she built around herself in these past 4 years was finally breaking down by him.
He froze for a second listening to her.
"And?" He spoke softly caressing her hands with his thumb and looking at her face.
"I'm not like before."
"And?"
"I'm not the same girl who you lov.." she stopped in the middle from saying it.
Her heart beats became erratic and her hands got cold, it was the first time that she wanted to talk about herself about her feelings.
"Anything else?" He asked calmly holding her hands in his warm ones as he felt her hands getting cold.
She shook her head unable to say anything else.
"Okay, can you look at me." His tone was completely calm and soft.
She hesitated at first but eventually looked up at him. His calm face was calming her a little.
"Eira, why would you even act in front of me be your own self love. You might not be like before but do you think I'm the same. Everything changed love and no one can be the same as before."
He was trying to remove all of her insecurities and was giving her assurance.
"And about the girl I loved." He said and she forgot to breathe.
"Eira, I know I've completely changed from before maybe by appearance, maybe by thoughts even by the way I used to talk. Everything changed in me and I'm not denying that."
"But there is still one thing in its place and that is my heart. The love and respect for you, everything changed and might change in future too but this heart and the one living in it will always be you."
"No one can ever take that place, no one can even stand to take your place Eira. How can I unlove you okay crap that how can I even love you less? Eira you are one of my most valuable gifts from Allah do you think I'll ever think for a second of loving you less."
"Maybe you don't stand in the first place of my list, but your place is still intact."
Tears were continuously rolling down her eyes listening to everything but his last statement froze her completely and her hands started shivering thinking about other girls in his list.
"Don't you want to ask who it might be?" He asked softly and wiped her tears.
He was holding her hands to his chest silently warming her hands.
"Who?" She asked in a shaky voice and her breath was getting heavy.
He opened his mouth to say something but she closed her eyes immediately in fear of listening to the other girl's name.
"Allah." He whispered and she immediately opened her eyes in complete shock.
"Yes love, I love him more than you because without him we are nothing and he granted you to me. I'm so thankful to him and thanking Allah will never be enough for giving you back in my miserable life."
She was beyond shocked by this, this might be the last answer she thought she would listen to from him.
Seeing her getting froze like this he pulled her closer in his embrace and started caressing her back lovingly.
"I love you Eira, and this love of mine for you can never die not even in the future. Our kids can never take your place so don't worry and you might change totally but for me you will always be the only one."
She looked up at him with teary eyes and a slight smile, there was blush on her face too listening to him talking about the kids.
"See, this contagious smile of yours is still the same, this heavenly beautiful face of yours and this effect of yours to my heart everything is still the same nothing changed."
He kept her hand on his heart giving her access to listen to his speeding heart. Her eyes widened at this and she looked at him shocked.
"Do you think it can beat like this for anyone else?"
Sometimes the actions aren't enough for our loved ones they still need that verbal assurance that we are there for them and their places are reserved in our hearts.
He kept his hand at the back of her head and pulled her in his embrace, she got totally calm by this, she slowly wrapped her hands around his torso and rested her head on his chest feeling secure and protected.
"You don't trust me, you are literally locking the kitchen thinking I might poison you."
The pot finally broke down of her insecurities. Now she wanted to get every answer to her questions.
He looked at her in complete shock.
"You have poison with you?" He asked trying to hide that smirk of his.
"Why don't you trust me then? Why don't you let me go in the kitchen? I promise I'll not steal or poison your food."
He chuckled finally getting the vibes of old Eira.
"You think I don't trust you that's the reason I'm not allowing you in the kitchen?" He asked unsure and she nodded immediately.
He gently smacked her head and she looked at him in complete shock keeping her palm on her forehead where he smacked with his fingers.
"Now you are beating me." She complained and he chuckled shaking his head in disbelief.
"Idiot." He mumbled.
"You are even cursing me." He laughed at this and gently pecked her cheek.
"Eira, the dead body I got which made us think that it's yours do you know the condition of it?"
She shook her head in response.
"It was completely burnt from every inch, and from that day till today I get the nightmares of you getting burnt while cooking or lighting the candle."
"I'm scared, Eira. I'm terrified to even think about losing you again. I don't want you to go near any harmful things that can snatch you from me again."
"I know everything is already written but I can't help but try to protect you with everything I have. I need some time to become normal but until then I can't be stressed thinking you are alone working in the kitchen."
"I can't let that happen again and you little beautiful creature was thinking I don't trust you."
"Eira if you even tell me that you are giving me poison I'll still drink it with a smile on my face and wash it so that it's little effect should not harm you, this is how much I love you."
His every word was true and she could see it in his eyes.
She leaned towards him and kissed him with all her will and passion which she wanted to do in years.
He was completely froze by this, he wasn't able to react back and he became numb at his place.
She moved back breathing heavily and looked at his face, he was still frozen in his place. She gently cupped his cheeks and was caressing his beard.
"Umar." She called in a soft voice trying to get any type of reaction from him.
Her voice snapped him back from his shock.
He pulled her closer and kissed her again more passionately and hungrily than she did, he pulled her on his lap and was kissing her with all of his energy.
He wanted to feel this feeling for the past 4 years, and he never thought she would initiate it.
His one hand was wrapped around her waist and another on her nape pulling her closer, her both the hands were resting around his neck.
After what felt like forever and devouring her they pulled apart breathing heavily. Her eyes were closed and her breathings were getting heavier.
She slowly opened her eyes and looked at him, his eyes were fixed on her and there was a huge grin plastered on his face.
He kissed her again and their kissing session held for minutes as they lost the track of time. This was so surreal that they still couldn't believe any of it.
"You still taste the same, this honey of yours." His voice came in a husky whisper and tasted her lips again.
She was a blushing mess right now, he pulled himself and looked at her with a smirk. Her eyes were lowered and her lips were little swollen by his torture.
He attached his forehead to hers and was breathing heavily, he felt complete after years and on the other hand all her insecurities vanished in thin air as if it was never there in the first place.
She wrapped her hands around his neck and got snuggled up on his chest, she was still sitting on his lap and right now she was in complete peace.
"You got really good at this, the practice showed its colour." He said with a laugh making her chuckle with a blush.
"You know I never thought in my wildest dreams that I can still feel you like this." He mumbled and started giving feathery kisses on her neck making her giggle and shiver at the same time.
"Any other complaints with your husband?" He asked with amusement in his voice.
She was still on his lap snuggled up in the crook of his neck.
"Why didn't you wake me up while leaving?"
He smiled listening to her, she only needed that little reassurance and now she wasn't stopping by her complaints.
It might be complaints for her but for him she was getting comfortable around him and getting back to her old carefree self.
"You were looking so peaceful while sleeping, I didn't feel like sinning by waking you up." He whispered in her ear making her shiver a little by his voice.
"Do you still love me?" She asked.
"I'll love you forever." He whispered.
She felt peace in his reply.
"Umar."
"Yes love."
"Please don't leave me again and please always be like this."
"I'm in no mood to even think about leaving you." He whispered running his hand in her hair making her feel completely relaxed.
"Umar who is Amara?" She couldn't hold herself anymore from asking him about her.
For a moment he froze but immediately composed himself.
"She works in the same company as mine." He replied casually.
"Do you like her?"
He got still in his place, and after waiting for a few seconds she looked up at him and he was looking at her without blinking.
"Do you?" She asked again, she wasn't afraid now to listen to the truth, maybe she got what she really needed. That reassurance from him.
"I don't. I promise, if you want you can ask her directly. You can even ask Imaad about this, I never..." He was stopped in the middle when she kissed him.
The fear in his eyes was felt by her and it showed he was telling the truth and how scared he got thinking she might misunderstand him.
"I completely trust you, I just wanted to hear from you, nothing else." She whispered after breaking their kiss.
He calmed down and took a breath of relief. She tried to move from his lap, but he held her back and pulled her to his chest.
"I never saw any other woman after you."
"I know Umar and I completely trust you but I just wanted to clarify it. I didn't want to let evil destroy my inner peace and give any type of doubt for you. I just wanted to ask this for myself, it's nothing about you."
She whispered in a soft voice while cupping his face and looking deeply in his eyes, it was true that she was little in doubt about it but after this conversation with him today made her realise how much he truly loves her.
"Alhamdulillah." He mumbled with a smile.
"I don't want any misunderstandings between us, I will ask you if there is anything troubling me and you should do the same. Please try to listen to me once in the future too if there is anything."
"Of course love, I'll do that." He whispered with a smile on his face.
He attached his forehead to hers and closed his eyes, she did that too. They both felt that inner peace within themselves after solving down their problems completely.
"Always be yourself Eira, and know this the man in front of you will only love you till his last breath."
"Thank you." She whispered.
"C'mon now there are so many things to do today." He stated and carried her in his arms, she immediately wrapped her hands around his neck making him chuckle.
He took her to the bedroom and made her stand back on her feet in front of the cupboard.
"Get ready we are going out." He whispered and kissed her cheek from behind and went from there.
She blushed a little and a huge smile crept up on her face, she felt complete after years and there was relief in her heart.
She changed her clothes and wore her abhaya, wrapping her hijab around her head and securing it with a pin, she then wore her niqab and adjusted a little.
She went to the living room searching for him, he was standing on the balcony looking at the surroundings.
She slowly went towards him and stood beside him, he looked at her and beamed in happiness.
"Done?" He asked and she nodded.
"C'mon then." He was going out from there but she held his fingers and he looked back at her.
"Did my question hurt you?" She asked.
"No, but." He stopped in the middle.
"But?"
"But thinking for how many days you were overthinking about this made me feel uneasy, if there is anything going on in that pretty head of yours then say it and give it some rest."
"I will." She replied with a smile even though he couldn't see her.
"I'll come in just a minute." He said and was about to go out but stopped listening to her.
"Then I'm counting, not one second should exceed."
He looked at her for a second and burst into laughter shaking his head.
"My tigress is back."
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Assalam ul alikum.
Hope you all are doing well.
How was the chapter?
I know previous chapters were a little slow but from the Eira's point of view it was needed. It isn't easy to get back to the normal carefree self when meeting someone after 4 years.
The things she suffered in those 4 years made her quiet and it's new for her to see Umar's (Alex's) changed self and to actually accept the fact that he isn't the same person he used to be.
Insha Allah in further chapters, their bond will get stronger and you guys might enjoy reading.
Thank you for staying till now and for all the votes and comments. It really means a lot.
~thank you💞