Felix liked Hyunjin's face when he looked at paintings. His art was well recognized by the visitor of the exhibition. In the caption, it was written that his paintings were the first entry by non-art students. People who saw it was amazed by his technique, the way he played with colours was praised by many. Hyunjin was thankful and it motivated him even more to paint. The paintings were sold after the exhibition and when Felix summed the amount, he was surprised that Hyunjin could actually buy another car with it.
Because of that, Felix had saved some time and money to take Hyunjin out to galleries and exhibitions in the city. Hyunjin was very touched by Felix's gestures, he also bought some baking tools for him and even new oven in his place so Felix can bake every time they visit the pent house on the weekend.
Felix was given a key to the two-floors apartment as well since they become closer. Felix was worried at first since he sometimes met Hyunjin's assistant, Kim Jungwan, but the man just bowed at him and left most of the times. He usually took some documents and cleaned the place with some cleaning ladies. Other than that, Felix felt so comfortable in his room that Hyunjin gave. Even though he only stays in the bedroom to study or work, he would sleep with Hyunjin when he came home at the end of the day.
He also started to give the pent-house some colours as he planted some indoor plants, Hyunjin liked it and let him keep doing it since he liked flowers, he just didn't know how to take care of them. They usually came on Friday after their classes, Saturday was spent in the cafe for Felix and dinner after with Jisung and Minho. On Sunday, they always spent it together but busy with their own things, Felix on baking and Hyunjin on painting. On some other Sundays, they would go out with the other boys at the club but still went back to the dorm together. They were inseparable and they liked each other more.
Hyunjin never touched Felix as he remembered the younger wanted to take everything slow and what he said on the beach really kept Hyunjin's hands to himself. He would kiss him whenever he can however, because it never failed to bring Felix's smile to appear on his beautiful face. Hyunjin didn't mind to wait for more and Felix really appreciated it.
They spent entire fall with the routine and watched the first snow by the big window of the pent-house together. Felix was never feeling at home in the beginning when the year started but he felt like he got two now since he met Hyunjin.
And just like that, another season passed for Hyunjin and Felix. The boys went to a retirement house for the charity event as well, before going on their winter holiday, then their semester exam in January.
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"You got everything ready?" Bangchan asked while checking Hyunjin's car trunk. "Need help?"
Hyunjin shook his head to the oldest, his chin and half of his nose were inside the padding jacket's collar, keeping him warm. Felix ran from behind him and took something out of his bag. "You forget your beanie, baby." The blonde put the soft gray beanie for Hyunjin.
Bangchan smiled at the two who seemed a lot closer since their confession four months ago. He felt happy that Felix had someone else to take care of him now. The two boys from Aussie rarely spent their time together, but they always contacted each other in texts.
"Let me take over in the rest area," Said Minho when they finally hopped in the car. Hyunjin nodded to the older one who always took care of him at times like this. The two cars set off to Yongpyong, the famous area for skiing and winter resort.
The boys' first stop was hwangtae restaurant since they were hungry and ordered some hot dried pollack soup. They also ordered a lot of the dried pollack, as it is famous there and they didn't want to miss out. They also took some nap before the barbeque party for the night and only went skiing the next day.
Hyunjin and Felix got to their room in the resort. He was happily skipping his steps from the balcony, looking at the snow covered mountain. Felix was about to go to bed when things he never wanted to happen, eventually happened. "Send me money. Your father went to the US so he kind of forgot to send me my money." He hated every word written from his mom. He wanted to be angry but his body always betrayed him when he needed it. His breaths soon became short and his hands trembled, losing their energy and let the hot chocolate in his hands slipped away to the floor.
He began to see how his mother hit his father, how his father cried the night he found out his mom was cheating on him, how his mom took him away from his father's arms when she took him to South Korea. He began having flashbacks from when his mom hit him on their new house in South Korea as well when he was only fifteen years old, only because he said he missed his dad. He hated his mom, he hated his dad too that he never came to see him. Even once.
Felix started to lose his balance too, reaching the bed where he thought Hyunjin was but he wasn't there. He was thankful that he wasn't, though. He didn't want Hyunjin to see him like this. What a pathetic guy, being all weak just because of a text. All his previous therapy sessions seemed to be useless, even though he has worked days and nights to go to one.
He felt like he almost went on an episode before a pair of long, warm arms wrapped around his body before it touched the floor. He felt safe all of sudden, he wasn't alone for the first time. He could finally let the tears that had been collected in his eyelids streamed down his cheeks. He cried, for the first time in years. He had been numb, but now he could finally feel some pain. Felix cried and groaned, letting the pain be screamed and being washed away with the tears that left his body.
"I'm here," Felix could hear Hyunjin's soft voice that slowly put him back on his consciousness. "You can feel the pain, baby. I'm here with you."
Felix's eyes squirmed, his could feel his nerves working again and held back Hyunjin's arms in front of his chest with his hands. He could feel the bigger body hugging him from behind, stopping him from shaking too much and when he was finally tired, his body was lifted up to the bed. He was tucked in like a baby. He couldn't open his eyes yet but he knew Hyunjin was there and so he hugged him. He hugged him until he fell asleep.
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"He's okay, I think. His lips weren't as pale as they used to be," Felix could hear Hyunjin's worried voice as he opened his eyes. He looked for the other's body right away, reaching his hands out of the blanket. "I think he just woke up. I'll call you later. Have fun, hyung."
"Hyunjin-ah," Felix tried to speak as he regained his consciousness. "What time is it?"
"It's eight. You were out for five hours," Hyunjin answered with soft voice. "How do you feel?"
"What do you mean out? Were we going to the BBQ party?" Felix was confused, he never remembered anything when he passed out. "Did I..." He tried to recall his memory and he remembered the text from his mom.
"It's okay, we can rest tonight. I will ask for room service," Hyunjin hugged Felix. He recalled his earliest memory about the smaller man in his arms. Back when he just moved and didn't have a curtain. He watched the other trembled on the floor, he was about to run to Felix's room before he saw Han Jisung arrived. He knew something was wrong with Felix, that's why he also called Jisung earlier. He, Minho and Bangchan to check on him as Jisung told him everything. His PTSD came back once in a while when it's triggered. The trigger was the presence of his parents, even with just short texts from his mom.
"So you knew already? You saw me having an episode before?" Felix sat up and drank some water Hyunjin gave him.
"I did. Jisung also told me what I have to do when it happens," Hyunjin smiled at the other. "I'm here to ease your pain and not to judge you, don't worry."
Felix smiled at him as well. "So you knew even before you said you liked me and you didn't even think to back off?"
"Why would I?" Hyunjin chuckled. "Every one of us has our own pain. Each of us in the group had our reason why we are here, away from our family. Don't you think your past also one of it?"
Felix threw himself between Hyunjin's arms who sat in front of him with his legs crossed. Pushing his face to the taller's chest. Hyunjin had this comforting body scent he couldn't explain, it's almost like his body produce its own perfume. Sometimes he was thankful that Hyunjin never used any perfume unless he had to go to important events with his parents.
"We can stay here tonight, okay? I ordered some porridge already. Do you want me to warm it up?" Hyunjin wrapped his arms around Felix's body again and kissed his head when Felix nodded. "Good, I'll make you another hot chocolate after that since you dropped yours when you had an episode."
Felix could feel his eye lids were warm, he cried again. This time, not out of pain, but out of happiness. He liked Hyunjin more, he loved him. He loved the warmth Hyunjin offered, he loved the attention and small services Hyunjin gave him. He loved Hyunjin and everything happened between them. It gave Felix nothing but comfort and happiness.
Something he never had in life anymore after a long long time.
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"I'm full," Felix pouted but he felt bad to Hyunjin who was still eating his steak. "Can I finish this later?"
Hyunjin held his hand and brushed his thumb softly. "Yes, you can. Enjoy your hot chocolate before it's cold."
Felix danced happily looking at the cup of thick chocolate with small bowl next to it filled with whipped cream. He stirred it carefully and enjoyed it like a little kid.
"By the way, I want to take you somewhere tomorrow. There is a hot spring not so far from here. Let's go there after we're going skiing," Hyunjin smiled when Felix nodded excitedly.
The next day, Felix and Bangchan tried ski for the first time. The others left to the highest spot for the advanced skier while Jeongin and Hyunjin stayed at the bottom for the two Sydney boys. They really had fun but Felix and Bangchan's muscles worn out easily after an hour, they chose to ride the gondola with the other two boys. Jisung, Minho, Changbin and Seungmin joined them in the lounge of the resort after they were done and enjoyed the lunch with the rest. Hyunjin and Felix left somewhere else when the others went back to the resort.
"It's hot euaaaakkk!!!" Felix dipped half of his body into the hot spring's small pool they had for their own before Hyunjin get in. "Come here, Hyunjin-ah."
Hyunjin hesitated before he saw Felix's affirming expressions, his small hand was opened waiting for Hyunjin. Hyunjin couldn't stand the idea that his hand that he loved the most were opened, empty, longing for his big hand so he grabbed Felix's hand, braved himself to join the smiley boy in front of him.
"Woah, my nerves are awake," Hyunjin giggled but he still tried to adjust with the heat that, Felix's hand still in his grip. When both of them finally relaxed, they played with their feet inside the water and chuckled like kids.
They talked about Hyunjin's childhood as the place he took Felix to, he visited it before with his parents. "I am the only child so my parents wanted me to try many things. I guess that was before their expectations arose," Hyunjin giggled.
"Are you planning to join the business like Changbin hyung?" Felix recalled the conversation on Seungmin's birthday.
"I guess it's not an option for me, nor for Minho hyung and Changbin hyung," Hyunjin smiled awkwardly. "It's scary to talk about the future. I only hope you'll be there or else I don't know if I can go through it."
"You have been through a lot even before you met me, so you can do much more even I wasn't around," Felix sighed, he was expecting the worst.
"True," Hyunjin smirked, but Felix hoped he didn't say that. "After all, we all were on our own at the end of the day. But, now I got you, on my bed. When I fell asleep and when I woke up, at least every weekend. That's more than enough for me to carry on with the new week. And that's something I don't want to lose now. I don't want the future if you're not in it."
"Hyunjin-ah...," Felix was too stunned to speak. He felt his heart beat so loud. It was warm before but now everything feels too hot.