๑ YOU ARE ACTING JUST LIKE
THE PERSON EVERYONE SAYS YOU ARE.
take a step back ✧ chapter 09
I close the door behind me, hearing Sorin's soft snores. She passed out drunk, and thankfully, with a little bit of help, before she slept soundly, I found her apartment. Now, surrounded by the items and appeal of a middle-class girl, my eyes wander. I take a step forward, looking at the small basket of fruit on her dining table. I pick up the apple, blemishes of dark spots and dots along its skin. I put it down and grab the pear, the same discoloration, and patches on it as well.
I look at her walls, painted in uneven white with uneven markings. My hands fiddle with each other, thoughts succumbing to something that only a wealthy woman would say, and suppressing it deep within. I didn't want to say things that I'd eventually regret thinking, especially if I was the one intruding on someone else's life. I may be stuck-up, I admit, but I don't think I'd be that ignorant.
Oh, that reminds me, oddly, that I need to make sure she gets up early tomorrow. We have a meeting with our demanding boss, so that means despite her getting drunk, she'll have to suffer. She must have hangover medicine somewhere in here, right?
I rummage through the tiny kitchen, searching for even a packet of tea or even a sign of something to consume, but nothing can be found. Finally, I check the fridge, opening it to find some items to make tea with. Setting it on Sorin's dining table, I go back to close the refrigerator, stopping at the sight of a family photo. It looks like Sorin with her mom, dad, and older brother, her toothless, wide smile creating a grin on my face.
Sorin was quite cute. As I place it in my hands, it reminds me of what it was like to be a child. She acted like someone I could get close to, and upon closer inspection of the photo, looked like someone I'd have a liking for. But, I realize it all too quickly–placing the picture back on the magnet, I'm caught by my feelings.
I was trying to make a friend out of Sorin, forgetting this was the first time we'd ever bonded. I guess the loneliness took over for a moment. I scoff at myself in the faint vision of her kitchen window, shaking my head. "There you go again, Sora, making something out of nothing," I reprimand, huffing. "You're still hung up, aren't you? It's okay, you have Yanxi... hopefully."
So, as I walk out of her apartment, making sure to lock the door behind me, the thought of befriending Sorin lingers. The thought of having someone like her, as cool as her, creates a dream that will help me sleep soundly tonight.
"Sorry, Sora, I still don't have your dress ready," Sorin apologizes, shaking her head. "Taehyun won't approve of most of our outfits for you. When he does, he gives it to the other models to wear. I don't know why he's suddenly being so stubborn."
I cross a leg over the other, looking at all of the other designers. "Let me go talk to him."
"I don't think that's the best idea. And, I mean that, Ms. Kwon," One chimes in, beckoning to his office door. "It's not that he's having one of those days, but he believes his jurisdiction is always correct. You don't want to cross him on one of the things he believes strongly in–business."
"This isn't about business," I stand, straightening my skirt. "This is about me."
Swiftly and passionately, I stomp myself out of the meeting room and down the hall, seeing his blinds open for the light to pass through. He already sees me out of the corner of his eyes, sparing me a small glance, but keeps his eyes on his work. Without a word, I open the door, but as I put one foot in, he speaks.
"Aren't you getting ahead of yourself?" Taehyun asks as I pursue him without a simple knock and consent, his crossed arms trying to discipline me. I respect his words by knocking, his nod allowing me to fully enter the room. I sit right in front of his desk, tapping my nail against the surface. "What?"
"When am I going to see my outfit for the collection drop?" He grumbles, holding his head. "What? Nobody's giving me an answer, not even Sorin! If I only knew that I'd be one of the last models to be getting something, I would've asked for Yanxi's dress. She's not even your exclusive model."
"That doesn't differentiate you from her. What fits you will fit her."
"How can you make that assumption?" I roll my eyes. "Besides, what does she have that I don't have in the aspects of wearing that dress? How could you make me be the model for another woman?"
Harshly, I add, "If I knew any better, I would've put your hands on some fabric despite your past."
Taehyun's silent, watching me with his dead eyes. His hands on the laptop crumple into fists, eventually having his eyes fall onto them. "Watch what you say," He warns, scoffing. "I can take away everything from you, Sora."
"Oh, that isn't very business-like, CEO," I remark. I lean forward, palms pressing against the wooden desk. "Do you even think it was worth pursuing this? Should your life even revolve around business?"
Taehyun's face contorts into pure rage, standing up as his chair slams into the wall. "If you still want to model," Biting his cheek, Taehyun gives me the worst glare I've seen in a while. "I advise you shut it."
I was almost willing to oblige if it wasn't for my pride. "You can't just hate everyone who's as materialistic as your mother," Before he could try and cut me off, I add, "From what I've heard, you're just like her."
"Don't you ever compare me to that woman, EVER! What do you know about my life? What do you know about anything I've ever done?!" Taehyun points at me. "You... need to take a step back."
"Why should I?"
"Because you're hurting people and you don't even realize it," Huh. Am I? "You're so prying and brazen in every conversation that it makes people feel inferior to you. I know you're stuck-up and money-hungry, but can't you act humble enough to realize that everything you do is only benefiting you, not other people? Think about how you're acting, about how you... are acting just like the person everyone said you are."
My stomach bubbles unusually, almost like everything was ready to squeeze out. My insides were turning in shame like the confrontation that I faced and dreamed of a million times was the first. In him, all I could see was disgust and betrayal, of feelings that I returned to him, but I justified it in hopes of pride. Nevertheless, he was right–and I hated to admit that.
So, my palm burns flames of high heat that surge through my limbs and land a slap against his cheek, something that echoes loud enough for the crowd outside to hear. The uneasy silence edges me to breathe, the aching in my throat indicating the pain that was finally surfacing.
"Fine," I sigh. "I'll take a step back, CEO. I'm not coming back, so find yourself another 'top girl.'"
"What do you mean?"
"I quit," I spit. "So I'll get lost and stop causing harm to everyone since that's all you seem to want from me. I don't need your help, your money, or the contract. Forget it."
"Sora–" I swiftly took my leave for the nth time this month, this fight transforming into the end of everything. There were no tears this time. I think I've wasted so many in the same space. I grab my bag and everything that sits on my desk, but Sorin shakes my shoulder to interfere.
"Sora, it's not the time to give up right now. CEO Kang is not worth it–"
"He is," I sternly reply. Sorin winces, furthering Taehyun's point. "He was someone I began to trust, but of course, I forgot that we were merely business partners. Due to that, what's the point of wasting my time here?"
"Come on, Sora, stay! At least for me!" I stop packing my things, letting her words linger in my brain. She still shakes my shoulder, trying to get me to look at her. I can't, though, because if I were to give her even a single glance, I would cave. Sorin was too kind, someone who spoke as if we were not in forced proximity. "Sora? Sora!"
I slide her hand off me, my actions feeling like sin. "I don't make exceptions. We... aren't friends," Sorin realizes the depth of my words, physically taking a step back. For a moment, she scoffs, nodding, but then shakes her head. "I hope you'll find a more fitting model for the job. I wish you good luck."
"T-Thanks, Ms. Kwon," My chest tightens at hearing the polite form of my name, but I wear a stoic look until I'm out the doors. I step into the elevator alone, letting it cascade down several floors. I get to the garage and practically run to my van, closing the door and locking it behind me.
The look of Taehyun's face replays in my head. Before and after the slap. The cold look, the dead eyes–like all his emotions were void. I deserved it.
But I wish he didn't say what he said. I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight. I lean forward, resting my head against the wheel.
What do I even do now? Do I return to my boring life of modeling for just anyone? It felt like I was actually wanted and appreciated somewhere, where the things I said actually mattered, and now, it was gone. I had to go back to strict directors who only cared for their selfish success and had to return to getting blasted by the media for doing things that normal humans do.
I was no longer under the covet of ... a friend.