The news of Bella's pregnancy sent a surge of panic throughout the pack as if we were in the middle of nuclear war. I placed the tea kettle on the stove and sighed, the anxious energy of 11 clueless wolves sending me into a slight frenzy. After Charlie called my mom is a panic saying that Bella had contracted a "rare disease" on her honeymoon and it wasn't safe to see her, Kaya reached Ephraim and a couple of the other Elders on the other side to talk about what was happening. She then sent Jacob and Seth out to the Cullen house without a word or an explanation, her face setting into a stone expression. I had never seen Kaya so serious, but she didn't miss a beat as she was ordering everyone around; Jared was set to patrol the area and listen out for Jacob or Seth when they had more information. She told the rest of the wolves and imprints that they couldn't leave my house until we had answers. That alone sent everyone into a panic.
"I don't understand what's happening," my mother said lowly to me as I busied myself in the kitchen. Kaya told me that until we were sure what was going on, it was better not to say anything to anyone. In my mother's case, she still thought Bella was sick. I grabbed all of the mugs out of the cabinet, setting them down before turning to her.
"I know, mama. We'll have answers soon. Just try to relax right now." I put a gentle hand on her arm as she contorted her face in confusion.
"Did I do something wrong?" she asked. "Should I have let the phone ring?"
I shook my head, fervently. "Of course not, mama. It's just...you know things aren't always what they seem around here."
"Aileah," Kaya called from across the room.
I glanced in her direction before looking back at my mother. "Can you make tea while I talk to Kaya?" she nodded. I mumbled a quick 'thanks' before crossing the room. Kaya's face was still hard, riddled with concentration. "What's going on?"
"Um," Kaya's voice was so low, I almost couldn't hear her. "We have a problem."
She nervously scratched the back of her neck, shifting her weight on her feet. When I gestured for her to continue, she looked around the room to make sure no one was paying attention. I looked around with her. Embry and Quil were, once again and always, muttering in a corner to themselves. Billy and Old Quil were sitting at the kitchen table, also speaking in hushed tones. Bianca, Colin, Brady, and the younger pups were helping my mother clean up the mess from dinner. And Paul was sitting with Kim and Rachel, trying to keep them distracted while Sam was leading a very tired Emily upstairs so she could lay down. The room was bustling in conversation and nervous energy.
"It, um, seems that our little Bella isn't exactly sick," Kaya said, her lips barely moving.
"What do you mean?"
Kaya pursed her lips and stepped closer to me. "It's something a little more serious than a stomach bug."
"Huh? You just said she wasn't sick."
She touched my arm and locked our eyes. "It's more like a parasite..."
"Parasite...? Like they turned her?"
"No...no." she sighed. "Like...it's growing..."
...What? I blinked in confusion. "Growing? What?"
Kaya sighed again frustrated before grabbing me really close until we were less than an inch apart. "She's pregnant," she said in the lowest voice she could possibly muster.
"She's pregnant?!" I yelled, jumping away from her. She pulled me back to her and covered my mouth as my eyes widened with shock. All of the conversation in the house came to a screeching halt and the only thing audible was the whistling of the tea kettle. Kaya's irritation flared as she tightened the grip on my arm. We both turned to see every single wolf, imprint, and Elder was staring at us.
Paul was the first to speak. "Did you just say...she's pregnant?"
With Kaya's hand still covering my mouth, I shook my head furiously. A slew of curse words started spilling from Kaya's mouth, her heart starting to race.
"You better be talking about Emily..." he growled, standing from his spot on the couch.
The energy in the room ramped up to a maddening level. Everyone started talking at one time, asking question after question. Kaya completely released me and started to ask everyone to calm down. "Guys, we don't know anything yet. Calm down, please!"
"Bullshit you don't know anything! You've been talking to the ancestors since Charlie's call," Quil called, throwing his hands.
"Hey! Show some fucking respect!" I said, immediately in defense of Kaya.
"Leah, what the fuck is happening? Who's pregnant?" Paul asked, his voice somehow ringing out over everyone's.
I watched as everyone started to mob together. They were all yelling at this point. My heart dropped into my stomach as I was bombarded with my pack's irritation, frustration, and fear. I clutched my head as their thoughts shot through me like bullets. Jacob, where are you? I projected. I knew it was weak. I knew he probably couldn't hear me, but I was panicking. I squeezed my eyes shut as questions were pelted at me telepathically and verbally, as fear spiked in everyone at one time. I took a deep breath and shook my head. Kaya was still trying to calm everyone down, giving any kind of generic explanation she could. I couldn't take it. I couldn't handle it. Oh my god. "Yo, everyone, chill the fuck out!" A command boomed through my voice before I could control it.
I wasn't a fan of Alpha orders, but there's only so much a person can take. Everyone's voices faded as the effect of the order rippled through them. Their energies plummeted to eerie levels of calm.
"We are not going to panic right now!" I said, straightening my posture. I started to wring my hands, nervously. "We don't know anything yet, so you all need to chill out until we do."
"Who is pregnant?" Paul asked again, emphasizing each word. My eyes met his and I saw as he used my face was confirmation to his question. "How is this possible?"
"They're not sure yet," Kaya said, stepping up next to me. "That's why we sent Jacob and Seth to check on her."
Sam bounded down the stairs, a look of confusion on his face as he took in the vibe of the room. "What's going on?"
"Bella's pregnant," Embry blurted. Sam's head whipped over to me and Kaya, his eyes wide. I nodded once in confirmation before swallowing hard. Jacob, where are you? I tried again.
"That's not possible." Sam shook his head.
"Ok, everyone, sit down please," I said, folding my arms in front of my chest. I waited until everyone settled down before speaking again. "I will say it again: we don't know anything yet. We will not panic until we hear back from Jacob, Jared, or Seth. Bella could have fucked a human and gotten pregnant for all we know, ok?" I didn't believe it as it came out of my mouth and I didn't expect them to believe that either. By some fucked up twist of fate...by some sort of magic, the universe decided that my life had gotten too easy and vampire Edward Cullen, somehow, knocked up his human wife.
We're on our way back now, baby. Hold tight. A sigh of relief blew out of me when I heard Jacob's projection. Kaya looked at me and gave me a small smile. "Jacob and Seth are on their way back. Paul, do you want to go get Jared?" she instructed. Ticking his jaw, he agreed and swiftly moved out of the house.
"Wait, if Bella's pregnant..." Sam started.
"Assuming that she truly has only been with Edward, yes, it would be a half vampire, half human hybrid," Kaya finished, taking a seat crossed legged on the rug. "But we will discuss it once we're all together."
I took a seat in my dad's old recliner and held my face in my hands as we waited. There were two thoughts that were on a constant loop in my mind. The idea of Bella being pregnant made me sick to my stomach. And the idea of Bella carrying something that we had never seen before made me even sicker to my stomach. A hybrid. The only thing that gave me some relief was that if it was half human, it couldn't be nearly as dangerous as a newborn vampire. Newborn meaning freshly turned, of course. There was also this lingering thought in my mind that everything I wanted, everything Jacob and I had been talking about regarding our future, was effectively put on pause. Seriously? Bella Swan got pregnant before me. That's kind of bullshit...
His pull grew stronger as they got closer. I couldn't get a gage on his emotions, but I could feel Seth who was truly freaked out. Paul and Jared walked in the front door with Jacob and Seth trailing behind. Jacob's face was hard as he searched the room. It softened once they landed on me. The four boys made their way in the room, everyone expecting some kind of explanation as soon as they came in. Jacob slipped his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants and sighed, standing in front of the pack. We all waited for him to speak.
"What's going on, Jake?" Embry asked, leaning forward in his seat.
"Is it true?" Sam asked.
Jacob looked at his packmates with a somber look on his face. "Yes, it's true." Everyone started talking at once again. I sat up straight in my seat, my heart pounding in my chest. Jacob held up a hand to quiet everyone. I was stunned when they all complied. "After Charlie's call, I fully expected that Edward turned Bella while they were gone. They're all just as confused as we are, at this point. No one knows how this happened; yes, I know it's supposed to be impossible. As far as I know...Carlisle and Edward are working hard to figure out how she got pregnant."
"What happened when you got there, Jacob?" I asked.
Jacob looked at me once before shaking his head. "I can't..."
I pursed my lips. "Seth?" All of the color looked drained from Seth's face. He was flustered. He started to stutter. For a second, he looked like my kid brother again. When he was younger, he had a stutter that we could never afford to fix. When he became a wolf, his confidence boosted and his stutter kind of went away. This must be more serious than I thought if Seth couldn't form his words. "Take a deep breath, Seth. It's ok. Just tell us what you saw."
Seth closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I-It was gross," he started. Then he shook his head. "That thing is, like, sucking the life out of her. She looked so...so gray and bony. A-a-and then she stood up and it was like she was about as pregnant as Emily is now. She looked months pregnant instead of...days, I guess? A week?"
"It's taking every ounce of nutrition that it can take from her," Jacob said, definitely. "And there were bruises all along her stomach as if its kicks were too powerful for her human body."
I shuddered at the thought. "So, this...baby is essentially starving her and damaging her body," I stated. Jacob and Seth both nodded. "It's killing her."
"In a word, yes." Jacob looked at the ground. I could feel his sadness. As much as I wanted to hear what he was thinking, he had a strong wall up. "Bella is refusing to terminate the pregnancy and refusing to be turned."
I rolled my eyes and listened to a few scattered groans in the room. Once again, Bella's selfishness is the center of everything. I ran a hand through my hair, feeling the tangles at the ends. "What does this mean, Kaya?" I asked.
Kaya made a small 'hm' noise before running a hand over her face. "It's, uh, it's not good, little wolf. It's not good at all."
"If that thing is killing her on the inside, who knows what it will do once its on the outside. Is this thing dangerous?" Sam asked.
My stomach turned at his words. But not at the thought of a baby being dangerous to the outside world. "Can you stop calling this baby a 'thing', father-to-be?"
"It is a thing, Leah. Half vampire, half human? Why aren't we talking about killing it?" Jared interjected.
"Killing it?" I said incredulously. "It's a baby!"
As much as I hated Bella Swan, I couldn't condone the idea of terminating someone else's pregnancy or murdering someone's child. I looked to Jacob to back me up and he looked just as lost and confused and frustrated and afraid as the others. Kaya was being abnormally quiet. I threw my hands up in frustration before shooting out of my seat.
"What if it was Emily we were talking about right now?" I started. A growl came from Sam. "Yeah, that's the right reaction. What if it was Emily? Or Rachel? Or...me? Would this be the same conversation?"
"That's different, Leah, you know it." Sam argued.
"No, I don't," I countered. "How is it different?"
"Because it's not supposed to be possible!" Jared exclaimed.
I gestured around the room. "Open your eyes! This is a room full of shape shifters talking about vampires and hybrid babies, for crying out loud! It's not supposed to be possible for me to have kids either, but there was a way around that. There's a dead ancestor sitting on my living room floor right now." I held my hand out to Kaya who was watching me intently. "None of this is supposed to be possible. Look around! We are all the exception to the rule and this baby that Bella is carrying is just the same. Who are we to determine what this child's fate should be?"
Jacob spoke, "Leah's right."
"You can't be serious," Jared scoffed. "The smart thing would be to eliminate the threat before it becomes a danger."
"No, the smart thing would be to wait it out to assess if there actually is a threat," Jacob said, gravely. "We should be considering every circumstance. It's not like we're handling this blind. Kaya has been fully communicative with us about what the ancestors know. That's the whole purpose of her being here. Until we are explicitly told that the child is a danger to us or to any human, we will not be doing anything that will harm it. That's an order."
Even I could feel the weight of Jacob's Alpha order. He meant business. I sank back down into the recliner, sighing in relief and frustration. Frustration that this had to be a conversation in the first place. Relief that we wouldn't have the blood of an innocent child on our hands. It wouldn't be fair. Bella may be an idiot, but she didn't do this to herself. And the child didn't ask to be made. Like I said...who are we to determine what this child's fate should be? He or she could grow up like a normal kid and be a functioning member of this fucked up society we live in. Why assume that it will come out ready to destroy the second it shoots out of Bella's snatch? "Jacob and Seth will continue to keep an eye on Bella. Until we know more, we will continue to live our lives like normal." I said.
"Why don't we go ahead and call it a night?" Kaya finally spoke, standing to her feet. "Try not to fixate on it too much until we can get more information, ok?"
"This is bullshit," Jared mumbled under his breath, standing up to leave.
"Yeah, good thing it's not up for discussion anymore," I sniped at him. He glared at me before leading Kim out the door. One by one, each member of the pack found their way home. Sam carried a sleeping Emily home. Then it was just me and Jacob and the Elders. Jacob entwined our hands as we stood in front of our parents, Old Quil, and Kaya who were all sitting at the kitchen table. "You're all very quiet tonight."
My mother shrugged her shoulders. "Sometimes you just have to watch two Alphas at work."
XXXXXXXXX
"Thank you," I heard from behind me. I placed my hairbrush down on my vanity as I threw my hair into a ponytail. Pumping some lotion into my hand, I glanced into the mirror to see Jacob watching me from across my bedroom.
I massaged my hands before turning to face him completely. "What are you thanking me for?"
"For having my back," he said, simply. He reached behind his back to pull his t shirt over his head. He spoke again as he turned down my bed, "I know our history with Bella hasn't been great, but—."
"It wasn't about having your back. It was about doing what was right," I corrected him. "I would have said the same thing if it was anyone else."
Jacob walked around the bed until he was standing in front of me. He took my hands in his and kissed both of them. "Well, thank you anyway, Lee. I promise we'll resolve this as quickly as possible."
I looked down at our hands. There was something in the pit of my stomach that was telling me this wouldn't be resolved as quickly as I preferred. Bella had tunnel vision; she could only focus on the things that she wanted and nothing else. "How's Edward handling all of this?"
Jacob shook his head. "I don't think I've ever seen him that disheveled before. He's a wreck. He wanted Carlisle to 'handle it', but Bella is just..." he trailed off. Then he rolled his eyes and chuckled mirthlessly. "God, she doesn't get it."
"He can't force her to abort her baby," I said, taking a step away from him.
"No, it's not that...well, it is. But that's not what I meant," he said, tugging me back to him. My body collided with his rock-solid chest. "What I meant was that we've given her the right out, you know? We gave them the permission to change her because that's all she's wanted for all of these years. And then...all of a sudden, she's resistant to it."
"Can they even change her mid-pregnancy?" I asked, gliding my fingers up his arms.
"Carlisle said she and the baby had a better chance of surviving if they turned her. He told me that he'd be able to monitor the baby while her body transitioned."
"So, what's the problem?"
He blew out a breath. "Who fucking knows?" he paused, looking off to the side, distant. "She kept asking me to stay and I was just ready to come home to you. I felt so sick the whole time, looking at her practically killing herself over this. And I just kept thinking...what if it was you?"
I shook my head, "I would never..."
"I know, baby," Jacob looked at me with soft eyes, reaching up to stroke my cheek. He leaned forward until our lips met. I let out a small moan as he buried his hand in my hair. His other hand slid until it rested on my hip. He deepened the kiss for a second before breaking away from my lips. "After my patrol, I'll go back to the Cullen's and check on everything. Until then..."
Jacob guided me to the bed. He sat down and pulled me until I was straddling his waist. "Jacob," I scolded. I was not in the mood. As I tried to stand, he wrapped a strong arm around my waist.
"I'm not trying to seduce you," he chuckled. "I don't want sex; I just want some time with my girl."
I was surprised he was handling this as well as he was. Honestly, I expected for Jacob to be emotional and distraught over this news. Instead, he was just looking at me with all of the love in the world. Jacob stroked my hair before placing a small kiss on the tip of my nose. I was a bit confused. "Are you...ok?" I asked, grimacing.
"Yeah," he gave a small smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Jacob, you just found out that your best friend is pregnant and dying. Why are you not more upset about this?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Do you want me to be upset?"
I rolled my eyes. "You know what I mean."
Jacob's lips set in a hard line before he leaned until his back hit the bed, taking me down with him. "I do know what you mean. I've just had a lot of time to think about it and process. And is the situation completely fucked? Yes. But, as far as me being upset...I can't really find a reason to be."
I laid my head down on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. "I can think of a couple..." I mumbled.
"Yeah?"
"Aren't you kind of in the same situation I was in a few months ago? Watching someone that you had feelings for—"
"I don't think I ever truly loved her," he said suddenly. My head snapped up to look at him. He gave me a sad smile and a shrug. "You remember how everything was before with you and me after Sam and everything. We were always circling each other. I'd kiss you, you'd run. You'd avoid me and then come back, you know? We could never find the balance. When I told you that I may have had feelings for Bella, you were the one who told me to pursue it. And I did...I tried." Jacob paused to swallow. "But I was trying to suppress my feelings for you and convince myself that I could have something great with her. And then I was just obsessed with the idea of protecting her from that world. But none of those things amount to love, right?"
I knew exactly what he was talking about. Jacob and I had always had crazy tension between us once we had both phased. I had just come back from college and the last thing I was expecting was...all of this. Sam leading the pack was reason enough for me to want to walk away from it all and go back to school.
After throwing the last duffle bag in the trunk of my little Honda Civic, I slammed it closed. This was not what I signed up for. I looked up at my childhood home and shook my head, aggravated. It was all bullshit. They really wanted me back for this? Sam said something about me needing to help fulfill our destiny as protectors of the tribe. From what? Some 'vegetarian' vampires who clearly were no threat to us or to Forks or any surrounding area. Yeah right. They were all just looking to trap me here so I wouldn't expose the secret. Here's the thing, though. I've never given a shit about the secret. In fact, I spend most of my time trying to forget it in the first place.
"Running off already?" I heard a voice coming up the driveway. I turned to see a half-naked Jacob Black striding up to me. He was in those stupid cutoffs again and no shirt. His hair was freshly cut, and he still had a baby face.
"Aren't the cutoff shorts a bit played? You look ridiculous." There was something about him that made my wolf sing. As much as I tried to suppress that bitch, as soon as Jake was in front of my face, she was wagging her tail, spinning in circles, and begging me to be closer to him. He shrugged, looking down at his body. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the pack meeting or something?"
"Well," he said as he reached me. He hopped up on the hood of my car. "I figured you'd use this time to run away. I'm almost upset that you're leaving again without saying goodbye."
"Stop saying that I'm running; I'm not," I scowled at him. "I didn't agree to this shit, so I'm going back to the life that I did choose. I chose school, not to be ordered around by that asshole and to run around with your dumbass friends. Now, will you please get off my car?"
He chuckled, sliding further up the hood and knocking his knuckles on it. "I'll get off after I'm done talking to you."
I licked my lips, glancing around. There was no one on the streets. Literally everyone on the reservation was occupied, seriously? "What do you want, Black?"
"Ouch, back to Black, huh?" he laughed again. When he saw the frown on my face, he cleared his throat. "I wanted to ask you something."
I couldn't deal with being this close to him. Every second that I was alone with him was too much. He met my eyes and I could see the twinkle that had been there my entire life. I raised an eyebrow, my frown deepening. "What?" He waved his hand for me to come closer. I rolled my eyes exasperated. "Jacob, I'm not in the mood for this shit."
"Just come here, Leah, damn," he said, irritation flashing across his face. I sighed and stepped until my shins touched the bumper, folding my arms in front of my chest. "I, um...I was thinking about the last time you were home yesterday. What happened...that was a moment, right?"
I deflated a bit, silently kicking myself for not seeing this coming. We shared a kiss the last time I came home. I had been in La Push for less than 72 hours for Christmas break. Since our families were so close, Jacob and I were essentially trapped in the same tiny house the entire time. I may have gotten myself a little carried away and felt a little too much in the Christmas spirit. We kissed...under the mistletoe like a fucking cliché. It was...good. "Haven't we already talked about this?" I asked. It started to drizzle, but neither of us seemed to notice.
Jacob slid until he was chest to chest with me, still sitting on the hood of my Civic. "Was it a moment?" he asked again. My breath caught, not able to comprehend that he was this close to me and not able to look away from his face. When my tongue darted out to lick my dry lips, his eyes locked on my lips in that moment. He reached up to stroke my cheek with his thumb. I swallowed hard. "Leah," he breathed. "Answer my question."
As he leaned forward, I started to tell him to stop, but I didn't have the chance to speak. He pressed his lips against mine briefly. My fists clenched at my sides as my heart skipped. I broke away from him, shaking my head. "No..." I whispered.
"No? No what?"
I kept shaking my head. "I can't do this with you right now." I walked away from him and into the house to get my keys. He followed me slowly.
He scoffed, "Why do you do that?"
"Do what, Jake?" I asked, grabbing my keys from the kitchen table and hustling back out of the house.
"Why do you always shut me out like that?"
I whirled around to face him, gasping softly when I realized how close he was. "It was a kiss. It happened. That's it. End of story." I said, hardening myself. I didn't have the time to explain to him that I couldn't put myself in that position again. I couldn't bring myself to be with another wolf who was just going to imprint and be done with me. I needed to get out of La Push. That's all I wanted. The shape shifter life wasn't for me.
"So...that's it?" he asked, his breath hitting my face. "You don't want me."
"That's not what I said."
"So, you do want me."
I groaned, my hands flying to my head. "Stop it." I pushed on his chest, so he wasn't so close to me. "I want you to be happy, Jake. I have always just wanted you to be happy and I want you to want for me to be happy too. That's what I want."
"I don't understand why you can't be happy here, Leah."
I didn't say anything. For a long time. "It's just time for me to put this place behind me," I spoke quietly. I hated the idea that Jacob Black could make me this vulnerable. "And it's time for you to find someone that really makes you happy. What about that Bella Swan girl? I heard she's been coming around more."
I didn't know much about Bella now, but from what I heard from my mother, they were thick as thieves these days. I remember her coming around when we were kids, but she was so timid and quiet. We never hung out; I liked to get dirty in the mud, she liked to...I didn't know what she liked to do. I didn't care. "Wait, you know about Bella?"
"I know enough," I shrugged. "You like her. I know that much. And now that that leech guy is out of the picture, maybe she can give you what you need. Do you like her?"
Jacob's eyes cast down to the ground. I bit my bottom lip as I fiddled with my keys. "I might...I don't really know. I think I do."
I nodded, ignoring the squeeze of my heart. "Good. Go for it." I moved away from him to the driver's side of the car. "It'll be good for you."
If I would have known that I would be packing up my dorm room and driving back to La Push less than a month later, I would have kept my mouth shut that day. I dropped out of college, knocked on my mother's door once again with my tail between my legs and asked if she would take me back. Everyone was surprised to see me move back to the Rez and I hated the idea of being back. But...here we were, years later, and nothing is as I thought.
As I focused back on Jacob, I thought about what would have happened if I would have stayed that day. Would all of this non-sense with Bella still have happened? Would we somehow have avoided all of this? Or is it all just inevitable?
"I want to give you something," he said, a slight smirk playing on his lips. "But it's not what you think."
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as he started to raise us into a sitting position. With me still straddling Jacob's waist, he reached into his sweatpants and pulled out a ring. It was beautiful; it was a soft gold band with a small round diamond and what looked like three smaller marquise shaped stones on either side. It almost looked like they were small leaves framing the stone. My eyes widened and I started to protest. "No, no, no..."
"Stop," he chuckled. He held the ring between our faces, locking eyes with me. "This was my mom's first engagement ring. My dad bought this for her at a pawn shop when they were still in high school; he saved for months for this ring. And he always promised to get her a bigger one when they could afford it. Becca swiped that one before she left because it was bigger, more expensive. But mom always like this one more. It meant more to her. Dad always told me he wanted me to have it to give to the girl I love."
"Jacob," I whispered.
"I'm not proposing right now, Lee," he said seriously. "But I've been keeping this on my nightstand, trying to figure out the right time to give it to you. And I realized that the right time is whenever I decide. One day, I will propose to you with this ring. But right now..." he paused, reaching into his pocket again. He held out a gold chain. "I want you to have it close to your heart. And I want you to understand that no matter where you are, no matter what's happening, I will always keep this promise to you. To love you, to take care of you, and to protect you for the rest of our lives." He threaded the ring onto the chain before holding it up to me. I moved my hair so he could clasp it around my neck. He grinned as it settled on my chest. "There. Perfect. Just like you."
I smiled as I felt the cold of the metal on my skin. I leaned forward until my lips met his. Nothing else needed to be said in that moment. I savored every second of his body on mine, his natural scent intoxicating me more and more. "I love you," I murmured against his lips. I threw my arms around his neck, tackling him to the mattress. He chuckled before connecting our mouths again. He rested his hands on my hips.
"I love you too, Lee. Always."
XXXXXXXXX
When I woke up the next morning, Jacob was already gone for his patrol shift. His scent lingered on his side of the bed and I repressed a smile as I reached for my neck to feel the ring again. I rolled over to stare at the ceiling. I was on a high. Everything that could be good was good. While Bella's pregnancy was still an issue, we would handle it. I was so close to feeling on top of the world.
A knock came at my bedroom door. "Come in, brat," I called. Seth's face peaked in before giving me a bright smile.
"Morning, sis," he said, bouncing into my room. He perched himself on my bed, lying on his side.
"Good morning," I smiled. "What's up?"
"I just wanted to check on you after yesterday. It felt like a lot of highs and lows for you."
I nodded, "It was definitely a rollercoaster, but I think I'm doing very, very ok right now." I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my chin. "Are you feeling alright?"
Seth twisted his lips and shrugged. "I'm still a little freaked out. It's not every day you see a human carrying a half vampire baby."
"You're being very brave, Seth. I appreciate you going with Jacob to see Bella. If it gets to be too much for you, you tell me, ok?" I said, leaning forward. He nodded as he played with a loose fray on my comforter. He avoided my eyes. "Seth," I called. He looked up at me with wide, innocent eyes. "You'll tell me, right?"
"Of course, I will, Lee. I-I just like to help."
"I know, brat, but you are my first priority. I don't care about Bella or Edward or what Jacob has to say about it. The second you're uncomfortable, I'm taking you out." I reached over and ruffled his hair. "What time are you meeting Jacob to head over there?"
He sat up quickly, "I was actually on my way out the door to meet him now. I just wanted to check on you first."
I smiled at my brother. "I'm good, I promise."
Seth watched me for a second before throwing his arms around me. I stiffened in surprise before snuggling my face in his neck. The one thing I wished most in the world was to protect my brother from the atrocities of this supernatural life. I would phase a million times if it meant that he could have stayed a kid. Seth was always the sunshine of the two of us and I wanted so badly for him to keep that about himself. I wrapped my arms around him and rubbed his back. I missed this. I missed how close we were. Since the Bond, we hadn't had much time to spend time together. He was always with Colin and Brady; I was always with Jacob and Kaya. This life just gets so crazy; I owed my brother as much stability as I could give him.
I leaned so I could hold him at arm's length. "Go," I said softly. "We'll talk tonight."
He nodded before jogging out of my room, shutting the door behind him. Considering the severity of the Bella situation, I had a pretty easy day. I made breakfast, Paul, Embry, and Bianca stopped by to chat, I watched Because I Said So. Everything ran pretty smooth on my part. Every once and a while, I'd channel Jacob's energy to see if there was any shift in his demeanor or if there was something that was upsetting him. But he was relatively calm for the majority of the day.
It was only towards nightfall that I felt a spike in his mood. His irritation levels spiked to a height that I'd never felt before. When I asked him what was wrong, he ignored me. I popped another DVD into the player but was too distracted to watch it. I pulled my blanket closer to my body as I mindlessly watched at the television. I felt Jacob as he and Seth walked up to the front door. They were speaking in tones so quiet that I could barely make out anything they were saying. I stealthily stepped closer to the front door, avoiding all of the spots in the hardwood that would creak under me.
"...what am I supposed to say then, Jake?" Seth asked.
"Just don't say anything, alright? I'll tell her." Jacob said, sternly.
"I don't know if I feel right about that..." Seth responded. His voice sounded so uneasy.
"Trust me, it'll be better if she hears it from me. You know how Lee can be. I just need you not to say anything when we walk in here," Jake said. I folded my arms and stood straight up. My eyes narrowed. Keeping secrets? Was that what we did now? Seth sighed and agreed, sliding his key into the lock. When the door swung open, they both started to walk in and froze when they saw me standing there. "Leah!" Jacob said, surprised.
I raised my eyebrows and flashed a fake smile. "It'll be better if I hear what from you?" I asked instantly. Jacob chuckled uneasily and scratched the back of his head.
"It's just been a long day," he deflected. "We need to talk about Bella. She's getting worse."
Seth shifted uncomfortably and asked if he could be excused. "I-I think it would be better if you two talked alone."
"No, no, you can stay. We can all talk." I said. "Telling my brother to keep secrets from me, Jacob? What's up with that?"
"I really think I should leave you guys..." Seth asked, trying to move past me. I placed a hand on his arm to stop him. He groaned a little. "Can we at least sit down before we talk about this?"
"I think that's a great idea." Jacob said, walking into the living room. He patted the seat next to him on the couch. But instead of sitting next to him, I took a place back in my dad's recliner. Seth sat on the other side of the couch, making himself as small as possible. "There's been new developments," Jacob started.
"What do you have to tell me?" I interrupted.
Jacob sighed, annoyed before letting his hands fall on his thighs. "Bella's getting worse. They started feeding her blood to sustain the child." My face contorted in disgust. "Yeah, I know. It's so fucked up. Her bones are so brittle; this pregnancy is actually killing her and it's sending everyone into a fucking panic."
"So, I take it she finally wants to turn then," I assumed. It was the only thing that could be done at this point. There's no way she's that stupid not to let them turn her.
"Nope," Seth answered, running a hand over his face. I glanced at him before focusing back on Jacob. He looked mad. Like he was actually getting angry in real time at the thought of what was happening. "Just tell her now, please." Seth hated secrets. Other than the wolf secret, he was no good at keeping them.
Jacob swallowed hard before speaking, "We would have been here earlier, but Edward stopped us as we were walking out the door. He started talking non-sense about being afraid of losing her and feeling like he doesn't have control over anything that's going on. And he kept saying he and Carlisle were going to take care of 'that thing'. He thinks he can terminate the pregnancy before it kills her even though Bella is adamant that she's keeping it. And then...um..." he stopped and shook his head.
"Yes?" I urged.
"He—I—uh..." Jacob stuttered.
I waited for him to figure it out. His tan skin started to redden the more he struggled. I didn't say anything to help him or to ease his discomfort. He took a deep breath before looking at me, silently begging me to stop him. "Spit it out!" I exclaimed.
"Edward asked Jacob to have a baby with Bella after they perform the abortion," Seth blurted. Jacob cursed as my eyes widened.
Now. I have worked very hard on my anger issues. I think meditation actually has helped me to learn how to breathe and process things without flying off the handle. Have I had moments where it's too much for me and I have to leave to calm myself down? Of course.
However, I don't think I've ever seen red as fast as I did that day. Jacob and Seth started to bicker about Seth's inability to keep his mouth shut and I sat there, feeling my body start to tremble from my toes and all the way up. Fuck Edward. Fuck the Cullens. Fuck Bella. Fuck all of this. That motherfucker had some goddamn nerve. My wolf was angrily battering on the cage inside me. She was getting closer and closer to the edge of me. I stood up abruptly and made my way to the door.
"Lee? Leah, where are you going?" I heard. I couldn't answer. I didn't know. Slamming the door behind me, I started to walk to the woods. For some reason, I didn't burst out of my skin. I just kept walking. I walked out of the reservation, deep into the woods, across the main roads, and onto the other side. It wasn't until I reached a familiar clearing that I realized where I was heading. "Leah? Leah!" I heard Jacob behind me. He was rushing to keep up.
"Go home," I said, evenly.
"No, Lee, come on. Let's go home. We can talk about this at the house," he tried to reason with me, pulling on my arm. I yanked my arm from him and kept walking. "Leah, please."
"Jacob, fuck off right now!" I said, pushing him away from me. "I'm pissed and I have a reason to be pissed."
"I know, baby, but Edward—"
"Don't defend that piece of shit to me," I held my hand up to stop him. I continued to walk until I reached the break in the treeline and there it was: the Cullen's house. I took in all of the windows and lights and all of the shadows of all of the vampires moving around in the house. My face shook with anger as I made out the one shadow that was responsible for all of this. Come out here, motherfucker. I know you can hear me.