Covered in his own dripping sweat and wet mud, Dayvon crouched lower behind a bush that provided the perfect camouflaged hideout position, and fixated the red beam laser on his AR-15 towards his target.
Without letting the laser linger too long, he pulled the charging handle all the way back and followed up with flipping the safety switch, then finally pulled his pointer finger back on the trigger six times.
"Banks! Perfect shot, my man!" The drill instructor gave him two thumbs up after seeing all six bullets hit the six main points on the steel practice dummy.
"That ain't nothing new for that damn show off. We gotta keep folks 'nem ass off the streets." One of his colleagues spoke into the ear comms, causing Dayvon to laugh into the mic.
"Keep talking Sauls, you gon' be 'Sir, yes sir'ing' him in a minute. The board talkin' 'bout making his ass Chief soon." Another colleague spoke.
"Yeah Sauls. Keep talkin'. Have yo' ass running drills every damn day." Dayvon told him, laughing again at the sound of Sauls sucking his teeth.
He tuned out the sound of them still joking around on the comms as he stood to his feet, carrying his rifle on his back after switching the safety lock back on. Dusting as much mud off of his clothes as possible, he started the trek back towards the station.
He didn't even go to his locker when he got there a few minutes later, instead he went straight towards the showers. He hated the smell of sweat, especially when it sat on his body too long. He blamed it on the seven miles he'd ran this morning for drills.
"Banks, heard they looking to promote you to Chief. Congratulations young blood." Axe clasped hands with him for a handshake, now near the lockers.
"Don't congratulate me yet. It ain't happened. Y'all niggas gon' jinx it." He chuckled, giving him some dap in appreciation anyway.
"Nah. Yo' work ah' beat any jinx. You deserve that shit and they know it." Axe patted his back before walking a few rows over to his locker.
Dayvon spun the keypad on his combination lock, typing in the code to get it open. He held his towel tight around his waist while grabbing a clean pair of sweats, some boxers and a t shirt out of his duffel bag to get dressed in.
When he was fully clothed, he put his dirty uniform in a plastic bag and stuffed it in the bottom of the duffel bag to take home and wash. He would've let the station's janitorial staff take care of his laundry as they did everyone's else, but he trusted his fiancé's work more than he did theirs.
"Staying over today or you heading out?" Sauls, whose first name was Jaxon, popped open the locker next to Dayvon's.
"Nah. I'm finna go home. My lil' boy got a soccer game after school, then we got church later." He responded, putting his bag over his shoulder.
"They cooking tonight, ain't it? I might swing by there."
"Goofy ass nigga only come to church when they serving food. That's crazy as hell." Dayvon shook his head in dismay before laughing with him.
"Man, First Lady be throwing down. Especially them greens! Shit yea I'm coming." Jaxon shrugged without hesitation, already hungry just from thinking about it even though he had lunch an hour ago.
"Don't make no fuckin' sense." He shook his head again with a smile that spread further when he caught a glimpse of the picture of him and Autumn when they were teenagers that hung inside his locker.
He stayed at the precinct for a little while longer to talk with his friends before deciding it was time to get home.
It was getting close to four and his son would kill him if he didn't make it to his soccer game. It was the last one of the 'season'-even though a season for a child in Pre-K meant that it was only four games total, and there wasn't even an opposing team. They played against themselves.
The thought of that made him laugh because his son still took the sport so seriously.
"Baby, is that you?" A familiar voice called through the house as Dayvon walked in.
"You ask that dumb shit every day. Who else would it be?" He said with a smile, watching his fiancé roll her eyes as he approached her near the kitchen island.
"Shut up. How was work?" Jasmine wrapped her arms around his neck for a hug while his slid around her waist.
"It was aight. I ran this morning and taught some sniper drills. I wasn't on field duty today." He left a kiss on her cheek before letting her go to check the fridge for last night's leftovers. He didn't think he could wait until tonight to eat.
"You left early too. We was looking for you at breakfast." She turned around so that she still faced him, watching him rummage through the refrigerator.
"Did August finally eat today?" He asked.
"Just a little bit of yogurt. I made a whole meal for him and tried to help him eat it-he just wasn't going for it." She shook her head with a small, worried sigh.
"His doctor called me this morning and said all his tests came back good. He said sometimes kids just have a weird appetite, and to go back up there if I'm still concerned but I-," Dayvon was cut off by his phone ringing.
"Ms. Linda?" Jasmine spoke with confusion, both of them looking at August's teacher's contact flash on the screen.
"Hello?" Dayvon answered, confused as well. School didn't end for another half hour.
"Hi, Mr. Banks? It's Mrs.Linda."
"Yeah, everything good?"
"Actually, I was calling because I wanted to know if someone could come get August early today. He's been getting into a bit of trouble all week-and we've been able to correct his behavior without calling you, but today he physically fought another student and busted the student's lip." She said over the speakerphone, and Jasmine's jaw dropped in shock.
"Shit, man. Oh shit, sorry-my fault. I'm on my way up there now." Dayvon attempted to catch himself from cursing, but failed miserably.
"He busted their lip?!" Jasmine repeated with concern when the called ended.
"Man this his fourth fight. This lil' boy three, G. How much beef he got?" He shook his head, grabbing his set of car keys off of the counter.
"Dayvon that's not funny. He keep getting in trouble 'cause you don't never discipline him." She frowned.
"I'm not 'bouta whoop my lil' boy. I keep telling you that. Stop bringing it up." Now frustrated with her, he ended that conversation by walking out of the house and he locked the door behind him to give her the hint that he didn't need her to follow.
He got right back in his truck to start the drive towards August's school, drifting off into thought about the phone call he'd just had.
August wasn't a trouble maker at home. That's why it never failed to surprise Dayvon when his teacher called to tell him that August was showing his tail at school. She called him so much that he had half a mind to withdraw him from school and wait until kindergarten started since pre-k wasn't a requirement.
The only thing stopping him was the fact that August loved school-or so he says. Every day, he comes home with a new story about a friend he made or a fun activity they did in class. Dayvon didn't understand how he got into so much trouble at the place he so called enjoyed.
He didn't know what to do.
Dayvon's own father always told him the same thing that Jasmine told him-start disciplining him. That was why he was no longer on speaking terms with him now; Dayvon found out that his father called himself popping August more than once the last time he spent the night at his house.
Dayvon wasn't sure how whooping him was supposed to fix anything. Even if it did fix his behavior, he could never bring himself to put hands on the child he made-or any child for that matter.
He thought taking August's iPad away would be stupid because then he'd just watch TV, and if he took that, August would stare at walls nonstop and clearly that wouldn't do any good for a three year old because he'd find something to entertain himself with regardless.
As a first time parent, it felt like even after three years he still didn't know what to do with his own kid. He just wanted to do everything right for him but most times he couldn't even figure out what was right.
"Thank you for coming Mr. Banks. He's right over there." The school's secretary pointed towards the left of the office lobby where August sat on the floor with his knees up to his chest.
"Wassup lil' dude. You aight?" Dayvon squatted in front of him, only to be ignored. He could tell that August had been crying-which he absolutely hated doing.
"I got you. You good." He hoisted his son up against his chest, and he kissed August's cheek after feeling his arms immediately wrap around his neck.
Hearing his baby quietly sniff back in response made his heart break. August truly was a good kid. Dayvon didn't know what was causing him to suddenly act out.
After being told by the secretary that August was suspended until Tuesday-the current day being Thursday-Dayvon carried his son out to his truck and buckled him up in his car seat.
"You still not talkin'? You don't wanna tell me what happened?" Dayvon asked a couple of minutes later.
"Well, if I get you a happy meal, will you talk to me then?" He glanced in his rearview mirror to see August slowly nod his head yes.
Dayvon knew it was wrong to get him a happy meal since that would sort of mean he was rewarding August after a fight, but oh well.
Twenty minutes later, the father and son duo now sat in a booth in the McDonald's PlayPlace area with a tray of food in front of them; a six piece nugget Happy Meal for August, and a spicy mccrispy meal for Dayvon.
"Thank you." August finally spoke up, dipping a nugget into a container of buffalo sauce.
"You welcome. You ready to talk now?" He asked, to which he only shrugged in response.
"What you fighting for? Again, August." The disappointment in his voice made August rub over his finger from nervousness.
"But he said something to me first!" August quickly became defensive, letting go of the nugget that he held.
"I ain't say it was your fault I just wanna know what y'all was hitting fa'. That's it." He kept his tone calm so that August would calm down too.
"'Cause he was saying bad stuff."
"Bad stuff about who? Me?"
"About my mommy. He said her was stupid. 'Cause her had a lil' stupid boy like me." He mumbled, and Dayvon's eyebrows immediately lost the tension they had as his expression softened.
"You know you ain't stupid. You know yo' mama ain't stupid either. Why you let that make you mad?"
"'Cause people always say stuff about her! Everybody always say stuff about her and it's mean!" He pointed before folding his arms against his chest.
"I know. But people g-,"
"And even Jas! And you don't even be telling her not to!" August interrupted him, causing Dayvon to remain quiet for a few seconds. He didn't know that August paid that much attention towards their conversations.
"It's not like that. She don't be saying bad st-,"
"Stop lying. You always let her. She always say my mommy bad. She say she more my real mom, but she not. She not my mom." His arms remained folded across his chest.
"When she say that?" Dayvon asked.
"This morning. She said it on the phone when I was eating my yogurt. And it made me mad the whole day, and then when Eli said my mommy stupid I got madder. She said I'm is her son and fuck my mama." He repeated exactly what he heard earlier today.
Dayvon ran his hands down his face as a sign of frustration, blowing out a slow breath. He didn't even know how to respond to his three year old who was clearly more aware than he thought.
"I miss her." August then said softly, causing Dayvon to move his hands from his face.
"I always miss her. It ain't fair everyone can see their mom all the time but not me too." He added.
"C'mere." Dayvon reached over the table to pick him up, holding him close to his body once August was in his lap.
"Come here. You ain't gotta cry. Don't cry, ok?" He kissed the side of his face as best as he could with it buried against his chest.
"Yo' mama love you. Even when she not here, she gon' love you forever. Don't let nobody make you mad about her 'cause you know what's real. You understand me?" He could feel August nod his head again.
"And yo' daddy love you the most. More than anything. He ah' beat everybody ass for you too, so you ain't gotta do the fighting no more." Dayvon gently tickled his sides, watching a smile take over his face with a laugh to accompany it.
"I love you too. Like, this much." August spread his arms as far apart as he could reach.
"Good. No more fighting, aight? Just call me on yo' phone or tell Ms. Linda they fucking with you. It's ok to snitch, especially if it keeps you out of trouble." He paused to wipe a crumb from August's mouth.
"And I'ma talk to Jas, too. I didn't know she said that this morning. Why you didn't text me to tell me?"
"I don't know. I'm sorry." He played with one of Dayvon's dreads that look just like his own.
"That's okay, you don't have to apologize. I can't fix stuff if I don't know about it though. So next time, tell me, or tell her that you don't like that while it's happening. 'Cause you don't need to be going to school mad. I always tell you to leave the house happy so that you can have a good day."
"I be trying."
"I know. And that's all that matters."
"Dayvon I know you seen me calling that phone all day. Where y'all been at?" Jasmine frowned from the couch, watching him walk in with August at almost ten at night.
"Hold up. You see he sleepin'." His tired voice rasped at a low volume, not wanting to wake August up.
He opened August's bedroom door and carried him over to the bed, deciding it would be best to just let him take a bath in the morning. Dayvon knew he was tired and didn't feel like dealing with the attitude that would stem from waking him out of his sleep.
He carefully undressed him and put him under the covers before turning the ceiling fan on and the lights off. He walked past Jasmine by the door, heading in the direction of their bedroom.
"Sooooo?" She closed the door behind them, keeping her eyes on him as he began to undress himself.
"What I tell you 'bout talking about Autumn in front of my son?" He put his eyes on her as well, watching her expression drop as if she'd been caught.
"Do you know he went to school mad at you? What did you even say?" He asked; he believed August of course, but he wasn't going to accuse her of anything specific. He wanted her to admit to what she said.
"It was nothing bad! I didn't e-,"
"Stop yelling. I ain't raised my voice at you ma. Chill. What you getting so defensive so fast for?"
"Because you blaming me for him having a bad day like I told him to fight that boy or something." She frowned.
"I never said that. I said he went to school mad at you.. And I only mentioned that 'cause you know what it means to me for him to leave the house smiling." He tossed his shirt into the dirty laundry hamper.
"Well maybe if you was here to see him off, he would. You ever thought that maybe he leave mad 'cause his own damn daddy never here to tell him to have a good day? And the mama y'all claim to respect so bad somewhere getting too high to care about either one of y'all!"
"Man, Jasmine stop d-,"
"No, Dayvon! You constantly remind me that I'm not his mother but you want me to do all the mom shit! You don't want anymore kids, so I'm getting married to a man who won't even make me a mom-I'm not even allowed to be a fucking stepmom! So yes, I was frustrated on the phone with Vanessa this morning and I'm not going to apologize for that." She folded her arms across her chest.
"Jasmine we don't need no more kids right now man. He barely in school. I work too much, I don't wanna leave you with a newborn. Why is that a bad thing?"
"It's bad because I want to be a mom Dayvon. That's all I want. I would even settle for just having August but how can I when neither one of y'all let me to be that? He hates when I call him my son. That hurts my feelings so much Dayvon 'cause you know I love him like I had him." She then dropped her arms in defeat.
"You can't get mad at him for his boundaries Jas. He knows who his mama is. He gon' always know her. I know that makes you uncomfortable 'cause she ain't here, but she had him-,"
"So why she not here right now? Why she don't help him with his homework? Or his projects? She don't help him get dressed for school everyday or make him breakfast, does she? She doesn't go to parent-teacher meetings. She doesn't know his fucking shoe size or what the fuck he allergic to. She don't give him medicine when he sick or stay up with him when he scared when it's raining!"
"That's the shit that makes you a mom! Pushing the baby out and abandoning him in the hospital, then showing up every six months to see him don't make her no fucking mother Dayvon! He might love her right now 'cause of the lies you tell him, but when he get older and see how she is for real, he gon' be mad at you and her!"
Dayvon could feel himself become emotional at the truth behind her words, so instead of responding to her, he went in the bathroom and locked the door behind him.
"You can't keep shutting me out Dayvon. I try to be here for you as much as I can. I try to be here for August too. What else do y'all want me to do? Like, what is it? I will never be her, and I know that, but really-am I not doing as much as I can?" She calmed her voice down, realizing that her words were getting to him.
He cleared his throat to remove the lump that was there at the same time that he wiped his face, trying to stop himself from getting too worked up. He hated crying so badly. That's where August got it from. Yet, neither of them could help it.
Omg I love this book so much already 😊 it's nothing special but damn a bitch finally got an idea after like four months of nothing