Gossip Girl : According To The Catholic Church, Mortal Sin Can Only Be Absolved Through The Sacred Act Of Confession, But It Looks Like A Certain W.A.S.P. Princess Has Recently Found Herself Desperately In Need Of A Little Unburdening. And Who Is The Man Upstairs To Discriminate?
[IN THE CHURCH]
Blair : Forgive Me, Father, For I Have Sinned. It's Been... A While Since My Last Confession. For Exactly 20 Minutes, I... Succumbed To Inebriation,
The Priest : What Troubles You, My Child?
Blair : After Being Broken Up With My Boyfriend For Exactly 20 Minutes, I... Succumbed To Inebriation, Performed At A Speakeasy And Surrendered My Virtue To A Self-Absorbed Ass who also happens to be my friend's ex boyfriend or whatever they are now. The Only Good News Is That He's A Total Pig Who Will Act Like It Never Happened. Thank God. Ahem.
The Priest : Hum Hum.
Blair : Sorry. Truthfully, I'm Not Even Catholic.
The Priest : You Don't Say.
Blair : But Losing My Virginity To Chuck Bass ? None Of My Friends Will Ever Understand especially Alisha...she will probably kill me.... I'm Ready For My Punishment. Whatever You And God Think Is Fair- Flogging, Fasting, Putting That Thing With The Teeth Around My Thigh, Like Silas.
The Priest : How About Some Food For Thought Instead ? Don't Drink. Keep Your Clothes On. Try Avoiding Those Who Might Cause You To Stray.
Blair : Oh, I Plan To. Thank You, Father. It Was Very Good Advice. You Don't Grant Birthday Wishes, Do You ?
The Priest : I'm A Priest, Not A Genie.
Blair : Well, The Next Time You Talk To Him, Would You Ask Him To Send My Boyfriend Back To Me?
[ON THE STREETS]
Chuck : Well,This Is The Last Place I'd Expect To Find You.
Blair : Go Away,Chuck. I've Been Given Orders. Practically From God Himself To Avoid You.
Chuck : Would You Consider Avoiding Me Over Breakfast?
Blair : Sorry, But As Is Tradition On The Day Before My Birthday, I'm Heading To The Jeweler's to Put Some Pieces On Hold For Eleanor And...
Chuck : Nate ? Oh, I Don't Think Nate ? He'll Be Singing "Happy Birthday" This Year.
Blair : No One Knows That Nate And I Broke Up, And It's Gonna Stay That Way So I Can Fix This, And I Don't Think Alisha would want to be your girlfriend anymore and nate would not want to be your Best Friend If He Knew
Chuck : If He Knew How Much I Enjoyed The Removal Of A Certain Chastity Belt In The Back Of This Very Limo ?
Blair : From This Moment Forward, The Events Of Last Night Will Never Be Mentioned Again. Is That Clear?
Chuck : Not As Clear As The Memory Of You Purring In My Ear, Which I Have Been Replaying Over And Over.
Blair : Well,Erase The Tape, Because As Far As I'm Concerned, It Never Happened.
Chuck : I'll See You At Your Party Tonight.
Blair : You're Officially Uninvited.
Chuck : Never Stopped Me Before.
[humphrey loft]
[alisha wakes up in a bed and sees wyatt sleeping on the floor and she gets up unaware that he is awake and she turns and sees him]
alisha: morning...thanks for letting me crash here...that is the last time i drink on empty stomach...
wyatt: its ok...want some coffee and waffles
[alisha then nods and they go to the kitchen and she sits down]
alisha: i really like your loft by the way...
wyatt: oh yeah...
alisha: you sound suprised
[wyatt then hands her some coffee]
wyatt: just your used to a certain lifestyle..something tells me slumming it in a loft in brooklyn...isn't it
alisha: no...but its a nice escape...plus it seems cozy...
[wyatt then smiles and he hands her a plate and starts to eat a waffle]
alisha: oh...these are so good
wyatt: family receipe...
alisha: this has to be ...hands down the best breakfast..i have ever had
[wyatt then smiles as the two look at one another]
[alisha's home]
[alisha is lying down reading and one of her housekeepers walks over to her]
house keeper: ms. alisha
[alisha then looks at the housekeeper and sighs when she sees who is behind her and its Carter]
alisha: what do you want carter
carter: i heard about you and chuck...i am so sorry
alisha: how could you possibly know that...
carter: news travels fast...also considering your bff and him were seen together
[carter then shows alisha a picture of chuck and blair together getting in and out of a limo
alisha: they are friends...what's your point
carter: you're kidding right...i mean..something clearly happened between them...i mean ...leaving that late...dropping her off....
[alisha then sighs]
alisha: chuck wouldn't do that....
carter: come on...i think you know...no one can tie down a bass....listen why don't you ask him...its your friends birthday party tonight...i know you have to make some sort of appearance...so at the party ask him...and when he says what i expect him to say....you can come find me [he then hands her a hotel key] my room number is 502...
[carter then sends alisha a wink leaving as alisha lies back hoping that something didn't happen between chuck and blair]
[CHUCK'S HOME]
Nate : Come On, Man. I Can Hear You Breathing On The Other Side Of The Door. Is Alisha in their with you ? I Just Really Need To Talk To You, Man. Please.
[chuck then opens the door letting nate in]
Chuck : Nathaniel.
Nate : Where's Alisha?
Chuck : me and her are kinda on a break.
nate: i'm sorry...man what happened
chuck: i don't really wanna get into it...I Was Trying To Get Some Shut-Eye. What's On Your Mind ?
Nate : It's My Mom.
Chuck : Sounds Freudian.
Nate : (Sighs) She Wants Me To Give Blair Her Ring.
Chuck : What ? You Guys Broke Up.
Nate : (Scoffs) Yeah, I Know. I Mean, Uh, Wait. How Do You Know ?
Chuck : Predictably, Your Ex Ran The Old, Uh, Grill-The-Best-Friend Play. Tried To Find Out Where Your Head Was At. So, Uh, Where, Uh, Where Is Your Head ?
Nate : Spinning. I Mean, My Mom Wants Me To Get Back With Blair So Eleanor Doesn't Pull out Of Their Business Deal. It's All Because Of My Dad's Whole Trial Thing, You Know ?
Chuck : Yeah. I'm Sorry About All That, But Look, If You're Done With Blair, Be Done. Don't Cave To Your Parents' Wishes If They're Not Your Desires.
Nate : Excuse Me ? Where's My Boy ? "Seal The Deal. Tap That Ass. Money Marries Bigger Money" ?
Chuck : Look, I Care About Three Things, Nathaniel. Money, The Pleasures Money Brings Me And You. I'm Just Trying To Have Your Back Here. Your Parents Have Been Controlling You Your Whole Life. If It Doesn't End Now, When Will It Ever ?
Nate: i guess...so...you think you and alisha will rekindle things...
chuck: i don't know...i've been doing some thinking...alisha is a great girl...but..what if she is not the one for me
nate: you're kidding right....you guys have been together forever...why the sudden change
chuck: i just feel its time..besides..she deserves better than me...
[nate then looks at chuck nodding]
[BLAIR'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT THE KATI'S BROTHER PLACE]
Serena : Oh, My God. Hey, Guys !
Katie Alisha and Isa : Hey, Serena ! Blair ! Happy Birthday ! Happy Birthday !
Blair : Oh, My God, Kati. Your Brother's Place Looks Fabulous.
Kati : Yeah, I Know, Right ? I Know.
Serena : It's Incredible.
Kati : Come On, Guys. Let's Check It Out....
[blair is with alisha who feels a little akward to be around as she slept with chuck and serena stands beside alisha]
alisha : Hey. So Where's Nate ?
Blair : Um, I'm Sure He'll Be Here Soon. What About Dan [looking at serena] ?
Serena : Oh, Uh, He Said He's Coming, But I Haven't Talked To Him Since This Morning.
alisha : Well, You Better Check In On Him. Make Sure The Best Friend Hasn't Whisked Him Away To Do Some Friendly Activity.
[alisha then sends blair a look who seems confused and a little worried]
Serena : Oh, Shut Up. Oh, There's Chuck. [the girls then turn and see chuck]
alisha: I Bet He Knows Where Nate Is....right blair
[alisha then sends blair a look as alisha takes a sip of her drink]
Blair : I Think Nate Probably Just Snuck In While We Were Dancing.
Serena : Chuck.
[alisha then notices the looks chuck and blair are giving one another and sips her drink]
[later]
[serena and alisha bring out her cake]
Serena : Happy Birthday ! (Laughs)
Isa : Blair, Blow Out Your Candles.
Kati : I Know.
Katie and Isa : Make A Wish, Blair.
Blair : It Already Didn't Come True.
Gossip Girl : Happy Birthday To Who ? Forget Cake And Ice Cream. I'm Saving Room For Just Desserts. Looks Like Chuck's Wish Might Come True.
[later]
[chuck is outside and alisha comes out]
alisha: can we talk
[chuck then sighs and looks at alisha]
chuck: if its about what happened with our parents
alisha: its not
[alisha then shows chuck a picture]
alisha: carter came by my house..today...and he showed me this picture...
chuck: is that me and blair...seriously the guy is tailing me now
alisha: did something happen between you two
[alisha then looks at chuck with tears falling down her face]
chuck: alisha
alisha: did it...
[chuck then looks at alisha and given by his face she sighs and slaps him]
chuck: it just happened
alisha: oh ...really...it just happened...you are unbelievable...
chuck: i'm sorry
alisha: i don't wanna hear it....i don't wanna to hear anything you have to say....my god..we were on a break...we weren't even broken up...and after telling me that you loved me and couldn't bear to live your life without me...not even 24 hours later...you're having sex with my best friend....and your best friend's girl....very classy
chuck: alisha..
alisha: i'm done [she then looks at chuck who has tears coming down her face]
chuck: what about our parents
alisha: you bastard...that is the thing your concerned about...what about me....
[chuck then looks away]
alisha: consider this an official breakup...for good...have a nice life....
chuck: are you going to tell nate
[alisha then looks back at chuck]
alisha: no...that's your job....but just know...secrets never stay hidden....
[alisha then leaves as her phone goes off and sees a gossip girl blast of nate hugging another girl and looks up at blair who is standing by serena]
Serena : Did You Guys See This ? I Can't Believe Gossip Girl Would Do This To Her On Her Birthday.
Serena : You Know What ? Maybe She's Wrong. It Wouldn't Be The First Time.
Katie : I Can't Believe Gossip Girl.
Serena : Blair, Hey, I'm So Sorry. I Never Would've Thought That This Would Happen.
Isabel : I Hope The Slut Gave Him Herpes.
Katie : Cheater Totally Deserves Herpes.
Blair : He Isn't Cheating. We Broke Up, Okay ? He Was Gonna Get Back Together With Me, But Only So My Mom Would Help His Dad. (To Chuck) You Satisfied ?
Serena : Blair... Blair, Stop, Okay ? Talk To Me.
Blair : (Voice Breaks) We Ended It. I Wanted To Tell You, But-But Part Of Me Thought That If I Didn't Say It Out Loud, Then It Wouldn't Be True.
Serena : Shh. Shh.
Blair : It Was My Birthday Wish For Us To Get Back Together. Now I Think It's Really Over.
Serena : Oh, Blair, Shh.
Blair : Is It Okay If I Just Wanna Be Alone For A Second ?
[room]
[a knock is then heard and blair says who is it and alisha says its her and she comes in]
alisha: i just wanted to check on you
blair: i can't believe it..i really thought he wanted to get back together
alisha: yea...well sometimes relationships...don't work out...but at least you had chuck to keep you company
[blair then looks at alisha with a nervous look]
blair: did chuck tell you
alisha: no...it was carter of all people...how could you do that to me...to nate...me and chuck were not even broken up...we were on a break...
blair: alisha...after..me and nate broke up....i was so hurt....i wasn't thinking...
alisha: i don't wanna hear it...i just wanted to tell you...that...i hope it was worth it...because after tonight...we are no longer friends...
blair: alisha
alisha: i will be cordial with you at school and events...but what we had before its gone...
blair: alisha please
alisha: you know...its funny...when you found out serena slept with nate...you thought...it was the worst betrayel in the world...and that you would never do that to a friend...god...how wrong you were...well...i will be talking with my parents...and after i tell them that me and chuck are done..he will be free...so congratulations..blair...he is all yours
[alisha then storms out slamming the door and walking by serena]
serena: alisha..where you going
alisha: [she then looks at the hotel room key] out...
[alisha then leaves kati's brothers house]
[the plaza]
[alisha gets off the elevator and knocks on a door and carter opens it smirking]
alisha: [walking in] don't you dare say i told you so...i just want to forget about everything
carter: i can help with that
alisha: good
[alisha then pulls carter in a kiss as he kisses back and the two remove their clothes and have sex where elsewhere...chuck and blair are making out in one of the bedrooms at kati's brothers place]