It was unrequited love, I was there, it was hell:
Burning heart, melting mind, breaking soul, bearing the London bridge at your back.
I was there, it was hell, crying at night making my jaw shake, it's not cold but I'm trembling.
It was hell, I was afraid, I was sad, I was overthinking, I became paranoiac.
It was one sided, never reciprocated, I was a fool:
I confessed, he became silent, but I know it was rejection.
Never reciprocated, I was a fool, I let myself down for him, I let my heart overrule.
I was a fool, as I fell, but he never fell—never had an affection.
It was my defeat, I fell, but he didn't catch me:
I am trying to reconnect, but even a simple glare to his eyes makes me weak.
I fell, but he didn't catch me, I was insecure to my own self, so I isolated myself to flee.
But he didn't catch me, I let him go, it was a mistake for not trying to chase, as I'm afraid of the critiques.
It was embarrassing, I confessed face to face, I went away without a farewell:
I knew he was trying to reconnect, but I pushed him away.
I confessed face to face, I went away without a farewell, as I was insecure to myself, and afraid not to sustain his status—a noble.
I went away without a farewell, it is my greatest regret, but I suffer a lot, I think that's enough way.
It was done, I need to move forward, I need to let go:
It's all my fault, the blame should be on me, I can't fix the past.
I need to move forward, I need to let go, I can't forget him, so I just need to distract myself to at least slip his name to my mind, that will be the flow.
I need to let go, I need to focus on myself and use the pain to build my own glory even if I'm still aghast.
...
Lesson: When you are not sure about some things, do not take a risk to make a sudden decision as it will just hurt you in the end. I don't want to hear you saying that "I think, I shouldn't do that" in the end, like what I said when I had done it. IT WAS a big risk I'd take, and IT WAS the most painful thing I went through.