Days were flowing like a waterfall, Amara didn't even try to talk to Umar unnecessarily as she was so ashamed of herself thinking she was trying to snatch her bestfriend's husband.
It was the same schedule for Umar, once a week he meet Imam Hamza and attend his spiritual talks and after attending they sit with each other and he talk his heart out.
In this big and cruel world only Imam Hamza was his family but that warmth which can be felt from real family was not found.
It was a saturday night and Umar was sitting in the mosque listening to Imam Hamza.
"Assalam ul alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu, in the name of Allah the most beneficial and the most merciful." Imam started speaking and everyone replied to his greeting.
"Today let's keep it as an interacting session whatever your doubts or queries are insha Allah let's try to clarify it today."
"Imam, what does Islam say about love?"
One of the boy in his early twenties asked this and the entire hall chuckled looking at his excited and eager face.
Imam smiled looking at everyone whereas Umar was silent sitting in one of the corner and listening to the conversation going on.
"First thing came to your mind might be the love between a man and a woman."
They nodded and he smiled.
"Love is pure feeling, it doesn't only include the love between spouse but it's far more pure. Loving someone doesn't involve only the creation."
"We can love our creator our lord Allah, we even love our beloved prophet Muhammed sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam. Do always say 'sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam'. Whenever we say our prophet name."
Everyone mumbled softly.
"We even love our Sahabas and our parents as well as siblings. We restricted the word love only for the opposite gender."
"Ofcourse loving our spouse, our life partner is magical and infact Islam commands us to love our partners."
"The best love is halal love."
"Halal love?"
"Yes, the actual love which starts after nikkah."
"So we can't choose our partners ourselves." One of them inquired.
"That isn't the thing, when you find someone capable for you instead of involving yourself into a haram relationship like dating and meeting without mehram, include your elders and ask them for her hand in marriage."
"Tie the knot by taking blessing of your elders and as the sunnah of our prophet."
"Imam, if we are talking about marriages can you even say about the dowry system."
"This was the question I was waiting for." Imam smiled at this and everyone looked at him perplexed.
"Let me ask you something, dowry what do you all think about this? Like who gives dowry."
They all started looking at each other, and looking at everyone Imam smiled a little.
"The men are commanded to give dowry to women."
As he said this sentence some of them looked at him as if he was speaking French, and others nodded their heads.
"What does that mean?"
"In Islam during the time of nikkah, we are commanded to give the mehr to our bride. This is written in Quran as "And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart"
[al-Nisa' 4:4] "
"Even if a wife works, we aren't allowed to take any money from her."
"When wife's money is theirs and we are no one to ask them about it or snatch the money forcefully. Do you think their father's money is acceptable on us."
"When they I mean wives want to spend their money willing for house then it's their choice we can't force them in anything, and if she lovingly wants to spend it on you and your children then don't cut her down, it's hers and she can use it accordingly."
"But keep one thing in mind, do give them proper knowledge about Islam so they don't spend it on haram things. Our spouse is our responsibility and we are answerable if they aren't religious. We need to educate them and if she is also educating you then do not bring that ego. We can seek knowledge from child so what's wrong when it's come to our wives."
"This dowry system is cultural it's not religional, our Islam strictly prohibit it."
Everyone was listening it keenly.
"And one more important thing, it's not her duty to do household chores."
This sentence made the chattering to start among themselves.
"Did you anywhere read that our prophet sallallahu 'alayhi wa sallam asked his wives to do any kind of house chores be it making a single meal?"
The answer came in negative.
"Our beloved prophet Muhammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to do his work on his own, he used to wash his own clothes, wash the utensils, he even used to sweep his house and used to prepare his own meal."
"So who are we? When the king's of King, Prophet's of prophet did his own work who are we?"
"Never force your wife in doing household chores, she is your responsibility. You have to take care of her food and expenditure. You need to fulfill her wishes and even after knowing all her rights by Islam she does all the work why?"
"To get that simple appreciation, simple happy face of yours instead we taunt her, we humiliate her and what not. When you aren't doing your own work atleast appreciate the one who does it and do help her."
"Imam, then what are the duties of wives?"
"According to Islamic teachings, a wife is expected to be obedient to her husband in matters that do not go against the teachings of Islam. This obedience is seen as a way of showing respect, love, and support toward her husband and give proper education and teachings of Islam to their offspring."
"Imam, my wife died two years ago and I remarried and have a child with my second wife. It is not wrong with any aspect then why do they don't allow women to do same when their husband dies."
"It's again a cultural doing not the regional, both men and women have right to marry after their death of spouse. It isn't wrong in any way, both of them have right to move on and marry."
"Why do women grieve more then men?"
"It is just the saying, both can grieve but as the women show their feelings and emotions we assume that they grieve more than men and the reason to this is they are emotional creatures and get attached easily to their relations whereas men are practical beings and they try to move on fast without going in depth."
"But deep down as men we all know what is grieving, we doesn't show it to anyone except our lord. But in both the cases grieving shouldn't exceed more than 3 days as it extract the negativity easily and we forget the blessings of Allah and get in depression."
"We have to believe in what Allah does is best for us and he is all seeing and knowing. Just know that even a leaf doesn't fall without his command so whatever he does is for our betterment."
"How to cope up with the grief?"
"By seeking consultation and counselling from the knowledgeable people and by reciting Quran and indulging themselves in Islamic and spiritual gathering and by spending time with loved ones and by expressing your feelings."
"So, Imam is there any dua or surah to get away from sorrow."
"Allahumma inni a'udhu bika minal-hammi wal-Ḥuzni wal-'ajazi wal-kasli wal-bukhli wal-jubni wa ḍala'id-dayni wa ghalabatir-rijal."
"And the translation goes by.'Oh Allah, I take refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debts and from being overpowered by men.' and the surah which helps with dipression is Surah Al Rehman."
They asked few more doubts and got it clarified, in all of this Umar was quiet listening to it carefully.
He got many answers from this gathering and his heart was at peace, the respect and love for Eira increased more if that was actually possible.
She was the best girl and a beautiful soul who follows the religion in her blood. Her talks roamed in his mind and a beautiful smile crept upon his face.
Sometimes we remember all the talks and conversation clearly, which took place several years back and in the present we find there actual meaning and depths.
This was the case of Umar, all the religious conversation him and Eira shared flooded back and everything was making sense now.
"Why do you want me to become better Muslim?"
"Because I care for you. You are my responsibility and I don't want you to face Allah's wrath on the day of judgement."
This made him smile weakly.
'but love, it isn't fair to leave your responsibility.' he thought to himself.
He shook away this thoughts and focused back on the conversation going on.
After half an hour it got complete and everyone started shaking their hands and greeting each other.
Umar forwarded his hand towards Imam Hamza's direction, but instead of shaking his hand, he pulled him for a hug.
"Thank you Imam." He whispered making Imam Hamza to chuckle.
They broke their hug and stood infront of each other.
"You know Eira told this to me."
"What son?"
"That I'm her responsibility and she doesn't want me to suffer on the day of judgement."
Imam smiled patting his shoulder.
"Umar, I know you are still missing her and every little thing is a reminder of her but try not to grieve. I can only tell you this cause I know no matter what you will not move on."
Umar chuckled at this and nodded his head, Imam was relieved looking at the change in his behaviour. He was trying to live again.
They went to their respective places after that, Umar sat in his car and drove back to where he find actual peace in this world.
"Salaam Eira, how are you doing?" He had a soft smile on his face, he sat comfortably on the ground removing the dried leaves from her grave and cleaning the dust.
"It's been two weeks I didn't came to meet you, to be honest I really miss you so much but I have to move on now. Okay before that I have to talk about so many things that happened in these two weeks."
"I met your childhood friend Amara, she works in the same company as mine."
He didn't even want to say her as his colleague, as he didn't want any kind of relation with the opposite gender be it as friends or colleagues.
"So, she wanted to marry me and told that she loves me. Don't worry love I'm not marrying her, she was trying so hard to change my mind but I just apologised."
"To be honest I didn't wanted to apologise, like why should I apologise when I love you, I'm not doing any crime but at that moment I just did."
"Okay let's leave this topic, I don't wanna spoil my mood. So, today as usual I attended the religional talk and I got a lot of information."
He was repeating what he learnt today with a smile plastered on his face.
"Sometimes I think about what if we were together, atleast there would be a mini version of you. Like think it's almost more than 3 years of our marriage atleast a daughter with same eyes like yours." He said with a grin.
"Eira, I was thinking of going abroad. The company I work in have a branch in abroad and it can be a good chance but how can I leave you? Atleast once or twice a month I have to come and remove my burdens infront of you or else I'll go mad and you know that."
He sat there for few minutes staring at that mud and thinking deeply.
"Lex." Her voice called him and his eyes widen.
"I want you to move on Alex, you can't be struck like this. Move on and live your life the way you want the way you wish. Okay? This story of ours needs to end here and promise me that you will end it today itself."
She had a soft smile on her face, her hand was forwarded in his direction waiting for his promise.
He moved his shaky hand in her direction but she was gone, he sighed and looked down.
"I'm with you till my last breath lex, I'll never leave you. I'll even come to haunt you if I die before you."
"Don't die, haunt me with your flesh not with your soul."
Her words roamed in his mind and he chuckled.
"You were serious about this."
He sat there for more than half an hour just staring infront of him, lost deep in his thoughts.
"Eira I love you but I need to do this." He closed his eyes for few seconds and opened back.
He took a deep breath as if making himself ready.
"I need to move on, just know this you are my only true love but I have to do this. I will come once in a while to meet you, ofcourse I can't leave you alone like this I will come but not regularly."
"I'm sorry love, I'm so sorry. I never thought I will tell you all this but I have to. Take care sweetheart I love you so much."
He immediately stood up wiping his tears harshly and without glancing back at her grave, he went out of the graveyard.
There were tears in his eyes and he felt a mountain on his heart, he knew if he look back again he can never move on but this was the harsh reality he need to accept.
He left his past and was moving forward to see where his future takes him to.
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This was just a filler chapter.
I know the story might be getting a little boring but I can only say one thing that just have a little trust for a few more chapters.
Thank you for staying till now, it really means a lot. 🤧💗