And here you are, living despite it all
My injury is not making my life any easier because this is my ceremony, I am solely in charge of doing everything myself. Im technically still on bedrest but Im feeling much better and mom said I can move around now. My arm hasnt healed properly though, sometimes its unbearably sore. Jordi is also here, mom welcomed her and told her she can stay here until the ceremony is over. I can see she is quite uneasy around her, she still believes that what she did is taboo and its unforgivable.
Dad decided that the rest of the family didnt need to come down, he told them about it, but he said they dont need to travel all the way here, especially because Bab Msizi would be coming from Cape Town and Bab Vusi from Amanzimtoti, because thats where he lives now. In other words, he wants to do something on his own for once, without the help of his brothers.
Christine and mom made the traditional beer and they have been running around preparing everything for today. Mvelo also came, he was here when they went to buy the goat, but I didnt see him, our paths didnt cross, I think he made sure of that. I dont know how long hes going to avoid me for, but I think hes being petty now.
Ntsakisi. Her soft voice called out to me and I looked up. You are so quiet, what are you thinking about? she rubbed my arm looking concerned.
I just hope today goes well, thats all. She laid her head on my shoulder.
It will. I dont know anything about Zulu culture, but the way you guys have been preparing for this day, I have no doubt it will go well, and hopefully, I can have peaceful nights again. She still needs therapy, that I believe. No ceremony is going to fix what she is going through psychologically.
After this, we will both attend therapy, okay? she nodded.
Have you thought about a name for the baby. I heard your mom mentioning something about naming it. She found it hard to speak about the child, she struggled to piece together the sentence. She cant even find the right words to use.
No, not yet. Ive never done this before. She exhaled.
Im guessing it has to be a Zulu name.
Yes, it does. She took out her phone from the pocket of her apron. Did I mention that shes in a doek and apron like a makoti? She looks stunning.
Simposinhle? I raised an eyebrow at the terrible pronunciation.
What? I asked confused.
It means beautiful gift, it says here its a unisex name. she looked at me in the eyes.
Siphesihle? I asked stifling a laughing.
Dont laugh Ntsakisi, Im trying to help here. I put my arm around her shoulder.
I love the name. they wouldve been a beautiful gift in our lives. And I hope they will continue to be a blessing, even though we cant share our lives together. She rested her head on my shoulder.
Well be okay. I believe her when she says that, I truly do.
Sorry to disturb you guys, but we are ready to start. Christine popped her head in with a little smile on her face.
Jordi lifted her head and stood up. She gave me her hand and helped me up. I thanked her and we walked out the bedroom, all the way outside to the pool house where we do ancestral rituals. Mom, dad, Mvelo and Chris were already waiting for us. Mom called Jordi to come sit next to her and Chris and I went to the incense. Dad started talking to the incense while Mvelo held the goat. This thing was strong, it was even choking Jordi, she couldnt stop coughing.
I also have my son, Ntsakisi Junior, named after Ntsakisi, my grandfather, father to Kennedy Mfusi. uMthiyane, Vundisa, uLinda. He is the father of the child and the mother, Jordi is also here. Mvelo moved up and Jordi came to kneel in front of me. Shame, she cant even understand what is being said.
With this goat, we appease to you to welcome this soul, for it not to wander, for it to be part of the Mfusi ancestors, as it should. We have decided to name him dad looked at me for confirmation.
Siphesihle. I said lowly.
Siphesihle Mfusi, for being a wonderful gift from the ancestors, from you boMfusi. I held Jordis hand and she squeezed it.
When dad finished speaking, they held the goat and slaughtered it and it cried out, like its supposed to, and it was confirmation that the ceremony was a success. I leave Mvelo and dad to the rest and I left with the woman. Im bougee like that.
I think youve been too active today Ntsakisi, you are technically still on bedrest. You too Christine. Go rest. Mom ordered as soon as we got to the kitchen.
Ma is right, Ill bring you two something to eat. Jordi said as she made her way to the sink. Shes been here for almost two days, shes more comfortable than she was when she first arrived.
Come, lets go Ntsakisi, they are kicking us out. She gripped my other arm and we walked to the lounge. The pregnant lady and the disabled one.
Are you ever going to tell me what happened with you and Jordi? she laid her head on my shoulder.
She was a mistake I dont regret. I love her, but not in that way. Shes the love of my life, well if I was into women. She chuckled.
And you and your man? I always forget his name. she said as we sat down.
Mthonga I reminded her.
Yes, Mthonga. Are you happy with him? she gave me soft eyes.
Im happier than I have ever been in my life. especially after today, now I feel like my life with him can begin, without having to hide our love and how we feel for each other. She held my hand.
Thats all we deserve, to love our loved ones without being judged or hiding. I for one know how draining it is to love someone in secret.
I told mom that we had plans to go to court. We were supposed to go today, but this ceremony obviously had to happen first, but on Monday, we are getting married.
I heard something falling and smashing behind me. I turned only to find Jordi standing there, looking like her whole world just came crashing down like the glass on the floor. I stood up.
Im so sorry. Sit down, Ill clean this up. She said bending down to pick up the pieces of the broken glass.
Dont! youll hurt yours- I was too late, she was already bleeding from the cut.
Christine got up from the couch and rushed to the kitchen.
Sit down Jordi. I instructed and sat next to her, inspecting the cut on her palm.
What were you thinking. I asked trying to put pressure on the wound.
I wasnt thinking. Im sorry. I sighed.
Christine walked in with the first aid kit and handed it to me. I only have one working hand; I dont know how Im going to do this.
Congratulations, Im happy for you. She said looking down.
I didnt want you to hear it like this. Thank you, Jordi. She smiled and helped me put the plaster on her palm.
I was supposed to give you your pills, but I dropped your water. Im sorry, Ill go get another glass. Why couldnt she have walked in when I was telling Christine that shes the love of my life.
I didnt stop her from going to get me another glass of water, my arm was strained, I was in pain, and I needed the pills.
Christmas is fast approaching; we havent made any plans. Chris, what are we doing this year? Dad got some of the construction workers from work to come and have the traditional beer and meat. I wanted to go join them outside but mom blatantly said no. now Im stuck listening to women discussing Christmas plans.
Lets go to Joburg, that will be fun.
Youll be highly pregnant then; you definitely cant host. We havent been out the country as a family in a while. Mom said.
But I cant travel. Chrissy said lowly.
Oh yes. I dont know.
I dont know if Im being forward, but Id love to host you on Christmas. I havent had a family Christmas in a while and although what brought us together isnt ideally what youd call family ties, but Id appreciate having you around, especially during that time of year. Jordi chimed in from the kitchen. She was fixing us something to eat.
No, you arent being forward. Wed love to come to your place. And you are like family, even though I didnt like the thought of you at the beginning. Mom said, ever so blatantly. Jordi laughed it off, but you can see the hint of pain in her eyes. Shes so sensitive.
Thank you Ma. Ill start preparing the menus she didnt finish her sentence.
Hey, Mthonga. I had my back facing away from the door and when I turned, he was standing there, and Zobuhle was with him. Mom is so forward. Since when does she love my boyfriend so much.
Sanibona Ma. He said stealing a glance at me.
Come in, and who is this pretty lady. Shes going to welcome them by the door and is hooked by Zobuhle.
Im Zobuhle Manqele, his sister. Oh my gosh you are so beautiful and I cant believe Im in your house. You look even better than your pictures and those are perfect. Shes speaking so fast she has to stop and catch her breath. Mom and the other ladies laugh. Thats Zobuhle for you..
Okay baby slow down, why do you speak so fast.
Its just that Ive always dreamed of meeting you and now you are here I just dont know what to do with myself. I need to stop talking. Mthonga held her back and mom laughed.
Mrs Mfusi this is my sister, forgive her, she forward. Mom grabbed her hand.
Nonsense, I love you already. Come lets go. Shes freaking out!
Mthonga greets everyone in the room. He gives Christine a hug then waves at Jordi who is standing in the kitchen. He comes to give me a hug.
I didnt think you would come. I whispered.
I wouldnt miss something this important to you babe.
Lets go to the bedroom. We excused ourselves.
He closed the door behind him and leaned against it. Im happy that hes here.
I didnt think youd come. I said looking at him. He smiled.
I wouldnt miss this for the world. His support means the world to me. I leaned closer to him and gave him a kiss.
Miss Moore doesnt look happy about me being here though. I dont think thats the case.
Why do you care is shes bothered by your presence? he really looks concerned.
After today shes going to be a part of you for the rest of your life and I love you and if I love you, I have to love with all parts of you Ntsakisi. I cant love you if parts of you dont love me back, it will be hard. So in order for me to love you, she has to love me too, shes a part of you. I nodded because I understand what he means. More than anything, hes a spiritual person and if it matters to him, than he should go ahead.
Then you and Miss Moore can sort that out. All I know is, I dont want to have a cast and sling in my wedding pictures. He laughed and kissed my cheek.
Okay sthandwa sami, anything that you want. I found him in a good mood.
I feel special.
You should. Thats Mthonga for you.
I love you sthandwa sami. I said.
I love you too mfo. I rolled my eyes. How unromantic of him.
I love him anyway.