What you seek is seeking you
Helo and Hlelo stayed for quite a long time, they only left around midday. She didnt tell me where she was going because I asked a couple of times, but she kept on brushing me off. Mthonga is also still here, and he sat with all three of us while Helo and I just caught up on life. Now we were just relaxing in the lounge, getting to know each other better than we already do. I was sitting in between his legs, with him on the carpet. My phone rang from the other side of the table. I grabbed it and it was mom; she was Facetiming me. I got up in a haste and plopped myself on the couch.
Hi mom. I fabricated a smile.
Hello my boy. How are you? I looked at Mthonga and he was stifling a laugh.
Im good MaMfusi. I saw dad walking in the background.
Tell that boy to come home. He shouted.
Dad you should just say you miss me. Mom laughed. Empty nest fever has got them.
Eyy you two, call each other in your own time, this is my call. She said with a smile on her face. I actually miss my parents.
You never visit us anymore. Do you have a girlfriend now? I looked at Mthonga briefly before chortling.
Ive been busy with work, and your house is so far from us. I whined.
When has that ever been an excuse. Your brother almost left without coming here, what do you call that. If it wasnt for Christine, they wouldve left without coming here.
Khauhelo was here earlier and said that you are going to Johannesburg with them.
Your father and Mvelwenhle ganged up against me and said no. I shook my head.
Ill come by tomorrow and see you. Ngikuphatheleni? Her face lit up like she was a little child.
Just my son please. I miss him.
Okay Mama. I love you. I said, my heart feeling full and content.
I love you too son. She blew me kisses before she hung up.
I threw my phone on the couch and went back to where I was sitting. Mthonga was awfully quiet. I held his face and gave him a peck on the lips.
Are you okay? I asked him.
Im fine. He was cold and acting very strange.
Are you sure? I wrapped my arms around him.
Your relationship with your parents is beautiful. He said after a moment of silence.
I shriveled up, remembering that maybe I was being insensitive. I know that he doesnt have a strong relationship with his family. He never told though, he still feels uncomfortable sharing that part of his life with me, and I fully understand, I wont push him.
Thank you. I said trying not to sound bratty.
He pulled me closer to him and made me snuggle him. I did, our hard bodies against each other. His heart was beating fast against his chest, like he was scared of something.
I need to go home now. I felt my heart dropping to the pit of my stomach. I was getting used to being with him.
I understand. I said lowly.
I lifted my head and he leaned in for a kiss. I could still hear his heart pounding against his ribcage. Something wet my face and I knew that it was his tears. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tighter. He pulled out of the kiss and rested his head on the crevice of my shoulder. My heart broke, but I needed to be strong for him.
Im sorry. He said lifting his head and standing up. His eyes were red.
Dont apologize. I stood up too and I looked at him.
Ill see you on Monday. He said. I didnt want to let him go like this, but hes a grown man, I cant force him to stay when he doesnt want to.
Please promise me you will call me when you get home. I said concerned.
I will. Thank you Ntsakisi. I engulfed him in another hug. I wanted to tell him I loved him, but the relationship is still premature, I dont want to ruin anything. What if it scares him off?
I watched him take his things and his car keys and he left. Watching him drive out the gate hurt me, especially because he wasnt in a good state, but they say if you love something, you have to let it go. I dont know if this saying applies to this situation.
My plan was to go and have breakfast with my parents, but I overslept, something that never happens. I woke up around 08:00 and I know by then they are already halfway through breakfast. I didnt force anything, I cleaned up around the house, took a bath and got ready to leave. I went to the shops, and I bought mom some goodies, things I know she loves. I got her some chocolates, snacks, and cake. I also got her a big bunch of flowers because its Sunday and she deserves them.
I never know what to buy dad anymore, his illness is restricting. At first, I would buy him a bottle of whiskey or cognac, and some cigars. Now he cant have any of that. I got him some fruits and biltong; I know he loves that a lot. I left the stores and when I got in the car, before I could drive off, my phone rang, and it was Mthonga.
Mthonga. He didnt call me yesterday.
Im sorry I didnt call you yesterday. It slipped my mind. It sounded like he had just woken up.
Its okay. Did you get home safely? I asked as I started the car.
Yes, thank you. I nodded as if he could see me.
Im on my way home. When I come back, can I come see you? He started hesitating.
My little sister is here.
Oh, okay. I thought people knew about his sexuality.
Ill see you tomorrow at work.
Okay. He hung up before I could say anything else.
I wont let anything spoil my day; Im going to spend it with my parents. I want to be in a good mood when Im with them, so I shook off any other feeling and played some of my good music in the car. When I arrived and parked in the driveway, I felt excited all over again. I was back to the home I grew up in. I have lived in this house for all my life. If I remember correctly, it was bought just after I was born, so for as long as I can remember, I have been here.
Is that my son? she was shouting from the top of the stairs, and I laughed. She acts as if she hasnt seen me in years. Its only been a few weeks.
Its him. I shouted back. I climbed the stairs and I met her in the dining room. Her face beamed when she saw the flowers I was carrying.
These are beautiful baby, thank you. She gave me a tight hug. I missed you so much my son.
It felt amazing to be in my mothers arms again. I just wanted to shrink and be a child all over again.
You should teach Mvelwenhle how its done. I laughed.
He does it for his wife. Its not because hes not romantic, he is. He spoils Chrissy all the time.
If thats how you Mfusi men operate, I dont want you and Sanele to get married, I want my sons to spoil me.
She was already making her way to the kitchen to put her flowers in the water.
Where is dad? I asked following.
Hes outside in the garden.
Let me go and greet him.
I left her in the kitchen tending to her flowers and I went to find my old man. He was sitting in the garden on a bench, basking in the winter sun. He had gained a lot of weight, he even had a potbelly now. Mom finally succeeded in getting rid of his abs. Hes gone fully grey too, but hes not even 60 years old yet. Hes ageing fast.
Mfusi. He may have changed physically, but hes still the same man that raised me.
Baba. I reached out for a handshake, but he stood up and gave me a hug.
Kunjani Vundisa. He sat down and I joined him.
Im good baba. How are you? I asked.
Im good my son. You all dont come to see us anymore.
Ive been occupied with so much work, Im heading a project and I spend most of my time on sight.
You know you dont have to do that right. You dont even need to be at the office 24/7. He
Yes, I know. I just love working and sitting at home doing nothing is not life. Id rather be busy.
You are a hard worker just like your grandfather. My name shouldve been Kennedy Junior.
Uphi udadewenu? The tone of his voice changed.
Was she not here yesterday morning?
She was, but I wasnt here. Shes avoiding me. I think we all know why. She knows I dont like what shes doing and if I run into her, it wont be fun. She continues to defy me. His calmness was scary.
She loves him. I also dont like what is going on, but shes an adult and a mom, we should let her make her mistakes. He shriveled up.
I cant begin to imagine how he must feel. If it pains me, her brother like this, how much more her father, the man who worked so hard to give her a happy life. I cant help but feel like Khauhelo is being selfish to some extent.
Where is she? he doesnt know that he beats her, so I wont even mention that we had to go fetch her.
She went back to Umthwalume yesterday. He shook his head.
My daughter is cohabiting and Im not doing anything about it? That was more a question to himself.
Baba Khauhelo wont listen to anyone but you. There is nothing we have not tried, both Mvelo and I. It took us going to fetch her and she still went back. Shes never going to leave him. He sighed.
I think maybe you are right. Let her make her own mistakes. She will come home when she wants to. I wish he was this lenient with Mvelo and I.
Out of all your siblings, you have given us less of a hard time. Look at Khauhelo, living with a man who cant even provide for her, Lindelwa doesnt even want to see me and well, you know how Mvelo was. You never gave us stress like this. Spoken too soon, I may just end you up in hospital.
Thank you son. He patted my shoulder.
Go to your mother before she comes here. I creased my eyebrows and he laughed.
Im having some me time.
Oh its about that time? I laughed.
Yep. I shook my head and stood up.
I feel terrible. Yes, dad doesnt have the best track record when it comes to things he did, but he really doesnt deserve this because he was an amazing father to all of us. Having his children hurting him to the point where he loses all power to fight it, it hurts me; so much. So much so that I dont want to disappoint him further.
Wadangala manje. Mom asks as I walk into the kitchen.
Dad is not okay. This Khauhelo thing is hurting him Ma. I said plopping myself on the chair.
It hurts me too, but we cant force a grown woman to listen to us. She has to learn on her own accord. It doesnt make it hurt less.
And Lindelwa? I asked.
She still wont talk to your father. She found out that mom is not her biological mother and blames dad for it.
Does she speak to you?
She does, she calls me every night. Im worried about Kabelos health, hes not coping at all, but hes stubborn. Oh so thats why hes running away from her.
NoAndisiwe kade engifonela. Melisizwe has impregnated another girl. This is his fourth child now and hes not even thirty yet. I havent spoken to him in a while, I need to call him.
He needs to get a vasectomy. I said laughing.
Its not funny Ntsakisi, you people are going to kill us with stress. She was smiling though.
We still have to go through this with Sanele, Nkosenhle, Nkosenye, Uthandile and Nkosazana, the torture.
By then you will be too old to handle it and it will fall onto us. I said.
True. But I want to sort out Khauhelos problem, its either she comes home with Hlelo, or he has to marry her. She cant keep cohabiting. Akaxoshiwe layikhaya. So all hell would break loose if they find out that he hits her.