Pilot
Isabelle was in the car with Annie and Ruby when they pulled up.
"I cannot believe you." Beth said as she got out the car.
"Chill, sis. I'm, like, two minutes late." Annie said as they got out and went to the boot.
"How was Sara's thing?"
"Oh, she was so good." Ruby replied.
"She's so smart. I worry about mine."
"Stop it."
"All right, you all ready for this?" Isabelle said and they sighed.
"Now or never."
"Let's do it." Annie said as Isabelle gave them the disguises.
They all walked into the shop.
"All right! Everybody be cool, and nobody gets hurt!" Annie shouted.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is a robbery!" Isabelle added.
"I'm gonna need you to all get on the ground. Get your cell phones out of your pockets and keep your hands where I can see em. All right, good. Now, I need you to get your manager up here. I said you need
to get a manager up here right now." Annie said but nobody moved.
"Hey, where's y'all's boss at?" Ruby asked.
It was later that day after the shop incident.
"Beth. Hello? Are you okay in there? What's your name?" Ruby asked.
"I robbed a grocery store." Beth said blankly.
"Who's Secretary of State?"
"I robbed a grocery store."
"Who is Secretary of State?" Ruby asked and Isabelle shrugged.
"We robbed a grocery store." Beth repeated.
"Of course we did." Isabelle grinned.
"And we actually got away with it."
"Like some smooth criminals." Ruby said and they laughed.
"Uh, how much did we get? Tell me we got the 30." Ruby said.
"Uh... We got it."
"We got more than the 30 grand." Isabelle told them.
"How much more?" Beth asked.
Isabelle got five bags and emptied all of them out on the table with a heap of cash.
"What in the hell?"
"How is this even possible?"
"Count it again." Ruby said.
"We counted it right." Annie replied.
"Count it again!"
"You both said there would be 30."
"We said, '30, give or take.' I guess it was give." Isabelle said.
"Why does a grocery store even have this kind of money on hand?" Beth questioned.
"Because it's hella shady. I told you this was a bad idea." Ruby said.
"You guys are missing the point. We just won half a million dollars!" Annie exclaimed.
"We didn't win anything."
"Half a mil, bitches!" Isabelle joked.
"We didn't win it! We stole it! And maybe the cops don't follow up on $30,000. They damn sure follow up on half a million dollars." Ruby yelled.
"What do we do?" Beth asked.
"Nothing. We divide it up and we sit on it until we can come up with a way to get rid
of it quietly. Without looking like, you know..."
"Criminals."
"Yeah." Ruby said and looked at the other two who were staring at the money. "Okay?"
"Yeah." Annie said and they gave them a look.
"Okay." Isabelle said and they still stared. "Okay."
***
Isabelle got in the house to see Max her dog was acting strange.
"Hey, buddy. What's wrong? You need to
go toilet?" She asked and walked in the kitchen to find three men in there.
"Nah, he's good." The man with a neck tattoo said as he was sat on the counter.
Isabelle couldn't deny that he was hot.
"We already took him out." He said and she saw a gun next to him.
"What do you want from me?" Isabelle asked.
"Oh, relax, sweetheart." He said and
hopped off the counter. "I just need you to call your lady friends over so we can all have... a little talk."
"What about?"
"Oh, about the money you stole from us."
Isabelle had called them, and they were sat in the kitchen.
"Yo, this backsplash is dope. Hey, what's it made out of? Marble? Yo, you ever get any problems with staining back here? Like, if you're cooking a big pot of spaghetti sauce or something like that?" The one with the neck tattoo asked.
"No, I don't think so." Isabelle replied.
"No?" He chuckled.
"We didn't know you owned the store." Ruby spoke and he just chuckled.
"I look like some kind of grocery store manager to you? Or, like, Rotary Club or something? No, let's just say that we got certain arrangements with some local businesses. And we help each other out and whatnot. You know?"
"Like... money laundering for drugs? I told you it was shady." Ruby said with tears.
"Why don't you stop worrying about my business dealings and start figuring how you're gonna pay me my money back."
"We will get it back." Isabelle said.
"Oh, that would be great."
"Most of it." Annie added.
"Sorry, what?" He asked.
"Some of it, for sure." She stammered and looked at the others. "Oh, what, like you guys didn't spend a dime?"
"How much, Annie?" Beth asked.
"I don't know. I probably spent, like, a hundred... grand."
"What?"
"I'm gonna shoot you myself." Ruby whispered.
"Nah, you're just gonna pay me back is all. I mean, right quick, too. With interest. So, we'll see you real soon, yeah? You know, you've really got to be careful, ladies. I mean, with citrus on marble, like lemon and whatnot. That stuff will erode like crazy." He said before walking out.
***
It was later that night, when the girls were calculating the money.
"Where are we at?" Beth asked.
"Short." Isabelle replied.
"By how much?"
"Over sixty grand."
"What about the car?" Ruby asked.
"I took it back. Lost over half its value,
B-T-dubs." Annie said.
"Well, maybe you shouldn't have bought it in the first place."
"My, what a helpful contribution. Let me just grab my Time Machine." Annie said sarcastically.
"Oh, my god. We should just go to the police." Ruby suggested.
"Wait. What?" Isabelle asked.
"We haven't done anything that bad yet. We don't have records."
"Uh, hello. Yes, now we do."
"If we just explain to them that-"
"Explain what, that we meant well? Gee, officer, we're sorry. We didn't mean to piss off the gang. We just wanted to rob the grocery store." Annie said.
"Okay, I'm just trying not to die, okay? If you have a better plan-"
"Actually, yes, I do. We should take it from somewhere else. We can just seal it and
then we'll pay them back and then we'll just put the whole thing to bed." Isabelle told simply.
"Bitch, are you out of your mind?" Ruby yelled.
"It's the best possible plan!" Annie agreed.
"Enough! Enough. We're gonna get that money. We're gonna figure it out. Because we are strong and resourceful. And we've accomplished way harder than this. I once made 300 cupcakes in one night, and they were nut and gluten free." Beth said.
"The kid still had an allergy attack." Annie muttered.
"And you don't always have to fact check me, okay?"
I'm gonna take a shower. I smell like booze and crime." Isabelle said and got her bag.