-Megan
While I was seated in the car, I experienced the most deafening silence ever, All I heard was the sounds of traffic, studio music, as well as the chirping of birds and the distant hum of planes.
Glancing at my phone, I texted Monie while being aware that Beyoncé was looking at me because I saw her in my peripheral vision, yet I consciously pretended not to notice her.
Beyoncé cleared her throat to get my attention. I looked at her and she raised her eyebrows. "Talk, I don't have all day." She stated.
I sighed and looked back down at my phone. "I change my mind." I said.
While attempting to open the car door, Beyoncé locked it. You might say, "Megan, just unlock the car door on your own." But, the situation is more complicated. The button on her side is designed to unlock all doors, and the door won't unlock unless she either pushes the button or uses her car keys. Crazy, right?
Beyoncé turned her car engine off. "I'm gonna give you one more opportunity to talk." She said.
Talk
Talk
Talk
"I don't know where to start, but I sincerely apologize Beyoncé. My intentions were never to cause you harm that night, and I was completely unaware of your pregnancy. Although part of me wants to feel angry that you didn't inform me, I also recognize that my actions put your well-being at risk." I looked towards the window to wipe my eyes because I was about to start crying and I didn't want her to see.
"Megan..." Beyoncé paused, our gazes met. She questioned, "Why didn't you say sorry when it occurred or the morning I was at your place to prevent your arrest? You simply abandoned me. Though I was temporarily unconscious that night, it was truly disappointing, Megan." She said.
"I told your man, without realizing that you two were engaged until he told me, that I was sorry before leaving. He didn't attempt to convince me to stay but instead yelled at me. I was drunk and overwhelmed with emotions, making it difficult for me to handle everything that was happening all at once." I told Beyoncé.
"He told me you left without saying anything." Beyoncé said.
I scrunched my face. "He lied to you."
Beyoncé kept silent.
That nigga lied and made Beyoncé believe for a long time that I never apologized. It's unbelievable, and I hope she talks to him about it. "So, how's your baby? Girl or boy?" I asked.
Beyoncé leaned her head against the car window and tears ran down her cheeks. "I was gonna have twins.. but they didn't make it." Beyoncé said lowly. "When I woke up, my babies were no longer in my stomach. The doctors informed me that they tried to save them but were unsuccessful."
My heart dropped, I can't believe it. I killed her children, it's all my fault. There's nothing I can say or do to make everything better. "Oh my God..." I cried uncontrollably. "It's all my fault. I'm sorry, I- I'm so stupid I can't..." I started having a panic attack.
"Calm down, Megan." Beyoncé said while fanning me with her hands.
"I can't br-breath. Open the d-door please!!!" I tried to open the door because I literally couldn't breathe.
"Megan." Beyoncé called my name. "Calm down, please."
"I can't—" I felt myself close to passing out so I closed my eyes.
Beyoncé gently put her hand on my chin to turn my face towards hers. "Look at me." She demanded.
I opened my eyes and looked at her.
"No need to blame yourself, I didn't inform you about my pregnancy; had you known, none of this would have happened. But my tendency to keep things to myself resulted in this unfortunate situation." Beyoncé reassured me.
"I-I can't live like this.." I whined. "Knowing I'm the reason your babies aren't here anymore, I just can't live with that guilt."
I kept on crying, I was thinking that my actions might have harmed her child. But knowing that she was carrying twins, and both of them did not survive, makes me feel like it should have been me who didn't make it.
Beyoncé sighed.
"It should've been me." I cried out. "I should've died. I deserve it.."
"Megan, don't say that!" Beyoncé yelled. She unbuckled her seatbelt and pulled me close to her for a hug. "Don't say that." She said lowly while hugging me.
"No!" I shouted. "I wish it was me and not them."
"Please, don't say that." Beyoncé stopped hugging me and held my hands. "If—" She glanced down at my arms. "Megan..."
"What?" I said.
"God, Megan." She said. She opened her purse and took out some wipes and wiped my arms.
"Stop!" I shouted.
"Why are you applying makeup on top of the cuts?" she asked, looking directly into my eyes. "Why are you self-harming? These ones on your arms are fresh, while the ones over here are older." she observed.
After the incident involving Beyoncé, I began cutting myself a week later as I sank into a deep depression. I believed I deserved to experience pain and suffering for my actions. Discovering that she had become pregnant and engaged without informing me only added fuel to my anger, overwhelming me with a whirlwind of emotions.
"It's nothing." I lied.
She spoke sternly, emphasizing the gravity of the situation. "I genuinely mean it, please stop doing this to yourself. Your skin is simply too beautiful for such actions. Making a single mistake in the way you cut could result in severing an artery, which ultimately could result in death."
"That's what I want." I told her. "I deserve it."
"God made a decision that I wasn't meant to have children at the time. He assigns his greatest challenges to his most resilient warriors, Beautiful. The key lesson I have taken away from all that transpired is the importance of strength and perseverance. Similarly, you should understand the significance of maturity and the need to be discerning when it comes to friendships. True friends would never abandon you alone in a club. I hold no resentment towards you, except for the fact that you left the hospital that night without uttering a word to me, which made me upset for along time." Beyoncé said. "Well, you did but I didn't get the message..." She mumbled.
"I don't know right now.. but thank you for making me feel better." I thanked her.
"Come here." Beyoncé said. She hugged me for a minute. "I love you."
I felt chills. "Beyoncé.." I whined.
"Yes?" She said.
"I have to get out of this car.." I said. I started feeling things I haven't felt in a long time.
"Why?" Beyoncé questioned.
"You said 10 minutes." I reminded her.
Gazing at her phone, Beyoncé admitted, "I initially said that to keep my distance from you, but now I realize that I want more time with you and I want you to be alright."
"You've changed so much." I said.
"Well, difficult moments have a way of transforming a person. Although you have always been beautiful, there is a newfound maturity in your appearance." Beyoncé said.
I smiled. "Thank you."
"Where's my love?" Beyoncé asked.
"Sorry, I love you too." I said.
Glancing at Beyoncé's hand, I delicately took hold of her hands, caressing the ring on her ring finger. She looked down at me touching her ring. "So, did you have your wedding yet?" I asked out of curiosity.
"Not yet..." Beyoncé sighed.
"Why?" I asked while caressing her ring finger.
"Me and Shawn have been having a lot of difficulties in our relationship lately so we haven't even planned our wedding." She told me.
"Mm. I believe you should be someone's wife." I gently took off her ring without her noticing. "I still remember when we first met and you called me beautiful, as if it was destiny." I gazed into her eyes.
Kiss her
Kiss her
Kiss her
"I can recall it vividly. The moment you opened the door and my eyes met you, all I witnessed was pure beauty." Beyoncé said as she looked into my eyes.
As Beyoncé and I locked eyes, an overwhelming quietness engulfed the surroundings. Memories of the cherished moments we shared during her time as my 'tutor' flooded my mind.