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Kiyo
"Yeah , I just got home"
Sometimes I feel Like Ace could be the best mother in the world. The way He gives me motherly vibes sometimes By saying 'Call me when You reach home' or 'Don't drink too much' or 'Go home before 12o'clock' , He could easily win the World's best Mommy pendant.
"Umm.. Why did You introduced yourself by your real name?? I thought You hated being called by that" I ask him finally across the phone keeping my tone casual. I could have let it slide but it's a really big deal of him to even utter his real name by his own fucking mouth.
"I still do and always will. But I thought He shouldn't know my true identity" Ace replied seriously which left me confused.
"Why not??" I ask.
"Are you really this dumb or You're just kidding me?? Cuz if you're , believe me You suck at it" Ace taunts and I raise my brow.
My nose flares , tightly gripping my phone to the ear and reply " Look Who's talking!! We both know that If there's a scale of Who's the biggest idiot , You would top the scale , This's the only thing where you can ever beat me" .
A soft chuckle excaped through his throat and I know that He's laughing at me. "Just know one thing darling. Never let him know my true identity and the fact that You're associated with a yakuza." With these words Ace hangs up without letting me speak.
The fuck!! He always hangs up on me.
Jerk
But I think he's right. Even though Lots of bussines men and women has their connection with yakuza. It's a normal thing in corporate world.
In my world
Politicalican , Bussines men and Yakuza all of them believes in keeping the government wrapped around their fingers. So basically They belongs to the same social circles.
But Maybe Mikey won't like it.
And I don't want to scare him away.
After that , I throw my phone god knows where and quickly sank into my bed. The mattress dips under my weight when my back meets the bedsheet.
My room's like My heart.
Black and Dark
My whole penthouse gives the Gothic mysterious vibes as If I perform Satanic rituals as my favourite pastime.
I mean It's not a bad idea , Can black magic makes Mikey madly in love with me?? Can It makes him crazy about me as much as I'm ???
I shake my mind pushing away these Gothic thoughts.
The whole bike ride to home was silent. I didn't utter anything probably because I was too busy thinking of the ways to ruin his jacket and neither did he said something.
Even though I'm stalking him for a year but that doesn't mean , I have every bits and pieces information about him.
I hack computer system but simply can't his mind.
I wish I could,
I wish I could be able to read his inner thoughts.
Should I write my breakdown??? Will it be a good idea??
When I was seeking therapy in my first year of college. My therapist says to write down my twisted feelings whenever I break down.
She says , It will help me to know my feelings better and I will feel better.....
Obviously I thought It's a bullshit idea but something happened And I wrote my first journel that time.
Reaching to my drawer I retrieve a black dairy written "Death Note"
Yes , It's a merchandise of Death note. What? I'm a nerd , Leave me alone.
In the whole 8years , I've written only 9 journal. My therapist would be so proud of me.
That bitch should already gives me Her best Pychopath patient Award.
I deserve it
Literally...
I was just 18y old when I thought What would be the best idea than Writing Your pychopath thoughts in a death note??
A true anime weeb.
I opened the First Page.
My first journel ever .....
And I regretted my decision as soon as my eyes falls on the first journel.
12 August
The fuck .......
I never know that I will have the urgency to ever write in this Shit. According to me , Writing down your twisted feelings is bullshit.
And I thought maybe My therapist needs some therapy
But Something happened , and My mind hasn't been in a constant peace till then.
I just can't believe... I did it ....
With Ace???.......
The fuck
What was I thinking????
I'll just blame this on alcohol.
But I'm glad we agreed to never discussed this ever again and forget about it like it never happened in the first place...
It will be a secret between us and I will take it to my grave - expected the same from him too
Not that He would brag about it. He is regretting his actions as much as I'm ...
It's for the best , we can never be anything other than "strangers who happens to be bonded over same trauma"
Relationships and shits never fancy him and I've better things to do rathan than getting railed by someone on daily basis. ..
For now one , I just hope I woke up next morning and forget about it......
For two days Things are awakard between us. And I think it's cuz He's blaming himself for offering me drink for the first time.
But I want to assure him that It's okay and I'm little relief that He's the one who took my virginity and not some random guy in the streets ..... But that will makes things more awkward....
Note to self : I'm never gonna drink too much.
Kiyo
The fuck!!!! I felt like I'm reliving those moments now.
I was 18y old that time and It was my b'day so Ace took to Red Rose to celebrate.
I told him that I hate My birthday and Just wanna study but He never listens.
He said
"Don't be a bore , You're an adult now. You should behave like one. Drink , Dance and Fuck"
But The bar tender messed up with our drinks and Give us the red wine mixed with cocaine and esctasy.
After that I remember nothing what happened between us.
But I did woke up all naked in a
red rose 's private room with a sharp pain between my thighs and blood beside Ace who was naked too.
I curse myself again for even opening this shitty death note and turn around the page.
For the next 7 years I write nothing in this book cuz I didn't feel like something big happened enough to write till I met Mikey and I wrote my 2nd journel.
12 June
Here I got again .. writing this shit again after 7 years. I never knew I would come back again with my twisted feelings and the need to vent my heart out.
Today , Something happened. Something really strange... People Call it Ummm love at first sight?? I wanna call it obession at first sight..
Maybe it's just a stupid attraction or a mere crush ..
Cuz even A stoned heart' girl like me know that Love doesn't Happen in a sec...
For now on I'm enchanted by A Certain man child who demands kids meal in a club and blame the club when they didn't have one.
In the world full of boys , he's gentleman who can even risk his career to save a stranger woman.
Sano Manjiro have caught my attention and I can confirm that
Unknowingly He got himself in a big trouble now.
Cuz
Getting hated by me is Dangerous but Wanting by me is leathal.
Kiyo
A soft smile tug in my face while reading this after so long.
That day , my life turned upside down.
After that I literally made my mission to know everything bout him.
Exactly 10 days later I wrote my 3rd journal.
22 June
Here We go again... It's always Me , My fucked up twisted feelings and this death note
This time , I am not here because I accidentally drunk fuck Ace or Got a new OBESSION.
This obession is growing inside me more and more. Now even I'm scared. Of this fucked up feeling.
Cuz I'm not functioning as A normal fan girl of a popular elite Racer , I'm in the process of committing genocide.
A fucking genocide ...
Whenever I saw his comments section or the public interviews, press conference where girls drooling over him , I lost myself.
I just wanted each pair of eyes to rip off and sell to black market just for ogling what's mine.
He is fucking mine.... And No one , I mean no one should be allowed to see him the way I do.
Idk what is happening with me , I have never felt murderous thoughts over someone I never even met personally.
But It's not my fault if he is not only addictive but So intoxicating. The more I dig Into his profile , The more I'm enchanted
He's perfect Brother , Perfect Friend , Perfect Human being ...
How the fuck someone can be so perfect??? It's annoying....
At this point , I am just searching a ounce of imperfections. Something that can make me hate him , only that way.
I can be free from my misery.
It's been 10 days , and I'm not only losing my mind but a part of me
The sucidal part of me.
Yes , It's weird Now I don't want to kill me every day. How I went to sleep with excitement to see him tomorrow . Usually I sleep and prey Someone just kill me in the midnight.
It's like I got a hope to live again. Not just exist for the sake of living.
Kiyo
Damn!! That was deep. Idk how I become some philosopher sometimes.
But reading this things is really working in my favour.
I'm feeling Lil relief.
I turn the page and saw my 4th journel I wrote after 1 months.
Consistency is not my thing.
22 July
Guess who's back???? Back again ~~~~
Should I just change my career and be a certified stalker?? Cuz it's been 1 month and I think I could be the best stalker alive.
Today I saw him in Red Rose again. He was with His friends - Draken , Baji , Kazutora and takemichhi.
They were celebrating cuz baji finally had his first threesome???
The fuck Is wrong with this Group.
He was so happy with them. Laughing , drinking , cracking jokes.
Obviously Takemichhi hosted their little party in the honour of His friend to finally had his threesome.
I got the urge to record the sound of his laughter and set it as my alarm. My favourite sound .
But I was something strange. Mikey excuses himself from the group and left. I wanted to follow him to see where's he up to.
Following him , I found that He went to the terrace alone with his favourite bottle of whiskey.
For the next 30 mins , He just stood there leaning against the railing and drinking his whiskey and admiring the city nights with his dark eyes.
I think He just wanted solitude which leds him here ......
I wanted to go and ask him what's he up to but I doubt He'll tell anything to a complete stranger who just intrupped his peaceful time.
He looks
so lonely ,
so empty
so lost
lost in his own thoughts.
Today , I understand that Even if I hack his phone or computer , I can't hack his mind. So to know him better, I just can't simply act as a creepy stalker.
Kiyo
Reading these journals puts me in sleep. And I didn't realise the daily slips out of my hands and I fall into deep sleep.
Now , My next plan would definitely bring him on his knees.
Wait for the next morning.....
*To be Continued*
Hii guys!!! How's the chap??? So Ace×kiyo??☠️what do you think about this ship???
ACE × KiYo
They look cute together too🥺