ACT ONE, chapter seventeen :
we are what we are,
don't need no excuses
for the scars from our mothers
ϟ
Lili was biding her time.
Now with Justin Finch—Fletchley and Nearly Headless Nick also being Petrified, Sev had taken to escorting her to their weekly dinners — picking her up at Gryffindor Tower or wherever she was to the dungeons, and then safely back again before curfew.
Their dinner had been a bit late tonight, though, as Harry had gotten into trouble again in Potions this morning (for nothing at all, really), and Snape had given him an evening detention full of scraping tubeworms off the desks. Yum. And of course he hadn't let the boy go without a string of scathing insults towards his heritage, intelligence, and general person. It was a real arsehole thing to do, really.
Now, she just had to find a way to bring it up to him — especially when everything was so fraught already.
Long ago, Lili had learnt things about Sev, just by watching.
She knew which potions he most liked to make, his favourite genre of books to read, how his face looked when it was pleased or annoyed or downright furious, that he preferred the winter season over summer, and that he'd rather take his meals with her in their quarters than with the staff in the Great Hall.
She also knew that pestering him whilst eating was generally a mistake (which many a new professor had made and soon regretted). Only once he'd moved onto a strong cup of coffee and was tutting in annoyance at some article in Potions Weekly was it safe to interrupt about things he'd rather not hear about. Of course this wasn't always a rule she adhered to, but it was one she followed scrupulously now.
So, Lili watched her father intently, remembering Sev's own words: 'If you observe carefully, you won't have to ask'.
Sev observed people, too.
Clients never had to request specifications or alterations to their ordered potions; Sev had noted and predicted their preferences long before. He consistently needled out who would be a troublemaker in his classes and he had an odd talent of predicting which professors were next to have a mental breakdown. Her father was an expert people—watcher (which was why she was so shocked by his utter density when it came to Harry Potter).
And because of Sev's words, Lili usually could read people quite well — even if she didn't often understand them. Sometimes she felt unable to speak, terrified to say the wrong thing and wound others with the slightest mistake. She wondered what people were thinking, but it always felt beyond her to guess.
Even Sev, sometimes.
Her father's face had often been shuttered to her, as uncommunicative as a closed door. But with Harry, it was different. He tended to be the only one who made sense to her most of the time. He was her exception. Fear, happiness, anger, pain, love — it was all plain to see, written in his expressive eyes, even when he tried to hide it.
Harry was practically incapable of keeping secrets, and that was unlike anyone she'd ever known.
Sev kept secrets about Lili's mum and about his past and about Lili herself, and McGonagall certainly did the same, even going so far as to help him keep them. Dumbledore kept secrets from everyone, even his most trusted inner circle like Sev and McGonagall. Lili herself knew or at least suspected some of Harry's secrets, and she imagined that she wasn't the only one. But Lili felt certain that no one knew her own secrets — not all of them, except maybe the crows that nested in the rafters of the cold manor from her nightmares.
Her secrets were too dark to ever be whispered to life.
And yet Harry was determined to be Lili's friend, no matter how many times she tried to push him away or tried to warn him off her. She owed him this, at least.
Lili frowned at her father from across her plate.
It was just... Sev could be so... so nasty sometimes.
If he just paid attention, and saw past the edge of his nose, he'd see Harry for how he truly was — as humble and kind and bullied, and yet her father still strove to be mocking and cruel. Of course Lili knew how awful Sev could be, and all her childhood it hadn't bothered her because it kept people at a distance and it kept her safe. Now, it grated at her. The issue was, she knew that he could be different — better — than he was round Hogwarts.
The Snape girl knew it was silly to expect someone to change when they didn't want to, no matter how many times they argued over it. What was it Sev had said? It was different because she was his child, but she was disappointed that only in her presence could he be a half—way patient and almost caring person. She wasn't sure if he could be that with anyone else.
Lili didn't like to get her hopes up.
Eyeing him cautiously, she spoke almost nonchalantly, "You ought not have given Harry a detention today, Sev."
Her father set down his cup with a sturdy thunk, fairly threw Potions Weekly onto the table, and leant back in his seat, his face a stone wall. He studied her like one of his potions gone wrong. Finally, he gave a bitter smile that had her heart stuttering.
"This same old argument, again and again. Do you never learn, Lilium?"
Perhaps she didn't, and perhaps it didn't matter. Because the only thing that mattered to her now, was this.
"Harry didn't even do anything wrong—,"
"No, of course not." Sev replied, a snide smile on his lips. "Because the Golden Boy can do no wrong in your eyes."
"You know it's not that," Lili gritted out, fingers tightened on her fork and knife, "I'm not some mad fanatic, dazzled by the fame of The Boy Who Lived. I mean, Harry — just Harry. He can be a real ejit sometimes, I know, but he truly didn't do anything. You're just mad because he doesn't back down, because he fights back, because he looks like his father which apparently pisses you off for some reason—!"
"Lilium." Her father raised a (slightly shaking) hand, eyes squeezed shut and voice forcibly calm. "I do not want to argue."
"All right. Then let's not argue, Sev." She agreed genially, the fight leaving her with a soft exhale. She needed to stay calm, to keep off the offensive, to be honest and fair. "I just want you to try. Your teaching. Just stop... being such an arse to your students."
Welp, there went that attempt.
Sev's eyes narrowed oh—so—dangerously, "I beg your pardon?"
"It's like you're trying to make everyone but the Slytherins hate you!" He gave an odd flinch at that, and her eyes narrowed as she continued on, "You're there, giving unreasonable detentions and dealing out insults, and constantly taking House points for no reason! Just... be kinder! I know you can!"
"You foolish girl, what does it matter—?"
"It matters to me!" Lili burst out, shocking them both into silence. Softly, she repeated, "It matters to me how they see you."
Now, he stared at her for a long time, searching for something she didn't know if she possessed.
"I am a far worse person than you give me credit for, Lilium."
The words felt barbed, as though she had wounded him just as much as he had wounded her. She caught her breath, and he had left his face unshuttered enough for her to realise he did just the same. He took her faith and threatened to crush it beneath his boot. He held her hope and considered snapping it in two. But he hadn't, not yet. Perhaps he would see the disappointment in her eyes, perhaps he would change his mind, perhaps he would feel an obligation to be merciful.
"Then," she challenged, "Prove it."
She stood on the edge of a cliff, waiting for him to say anything but:
"As you wish."
It felt like a promise. It felt like a threat.
And yet, a few days later, Lili wandered with the quartet down to the dungeons. Second Year Potions was at third period on Mondays, and she expected it to proceed in the usual way. As she walked, Lili idly wondered if they would be working on the Fire Protection Potion today; she'd made it years and years ago with her father, and she thought she remembered the recipe by heart. And after her magical display in the Duelling Club, she thought it might be a good idea.
Who knew when she would next combust with magical fire?
Everyone needed a bit of protection, Lili thought bitterly.
Meanwhile, Hermione was in the middle of yet another monologue, "—And Fwoopers and Diricawls and don't even get me started on Glumbumbles! Did you know that their treacles induce melancholy to any who consume it?"
"How do you know that?!" Ron was once again amazed at Hermione's genius.
The wild—haired girl rolled her eyes, "I read about them."
"Hear that, mates?" Ron rolled his eyes right on back, ribbing both Lili and Harry. "She read about them."
Hermione ignored him, "And do you know what their treacles are an antidote to...?"
Distractedly, Lili answered, "Hysteria caused by consuming Alihotsy leaves, of course."
Harry smirked in amusement.
Ron's eyes went wide as he whipped round to look at Lili this time, "And how do you know that?!"
"Oh, read a book, Ronald," Lili sighed.
The redhead glared at both girls and dropped grumpily down into one of the chairs furthest from them, sitting decidedly next to Harry. Lili smirked and sat between Hermione and Neville, partnering herself with the trembling Gryffindor with a small smile. Their cauldron already stood on the wooden desk, on which stood brass scales and jars of ingredients.
As soon as everyone sat down, they glanced round to see if anyone was missing. No one knew who was going to be Petrified next, who was the next target or who would next go missing. It was an unsettling feeling, to search through the faces and make sure everyone had made it another day.
One person, however, seemed to be thoroughly enjoying the atmosphere of terror and suspicion in the dungeon. Lili had seen Draco strutting round Hogwarts as if butter wouldn't melt, acting like he'd just been appointed Head Boy or some such shite. The girl couldn't fathom what else besides the Heir could possibly make him preen so intensely 'til, sitting right behind, she overheard him calling over to Crabbe and Goyle.
"Listen to this..."
Draco's voice seemed louder than usual, and she doubted that it was unintentional. Fishing inside his robes, the Malfoy boy revealed a copy of The Daily Prophet and he snapped it so everyone could see the front page before turning it to read aloud.
"'Arthur Weasley, Head of the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts Office, was today fined fifty Galleons for bewitching a Muggle car. 'Weasley has brought the Ministry into disrepute,' said Lucius Malfoy, a governor of Hogwarts. 'He is clearly unfit to draw up our laws and his ridiculous Muggle Protection Act should be scrapped immediately.'"
Grinning, Draco glanced over the paper at their quartet. As if he was trying to make sure they were listening, as if he hadn't demanded the attention of their entire classroom. What a pounce.
The blond boy happily continued, "'If Arthur Weasley loves Muggles so much, he should snap his wand in half and go join them. You'd never know the Weasleys were Purebloods, the way they behave. Embarrassment to the wizarding world... All of them.'"
Ron growled. Hermione elbowed him. Harry's eyes were narrowed and Lili considered poisoning Draco if she managed to get invited back to Malfoy Manor this summer. It wouldn't be lethal, of course! She wasn't insane. Just a mild potion that caused his pretty face to develop boils or his bollocks to fall off or something equally tragic. It was fun to ponder, even if they were still friends. In any case, why the Headmaster felt the need to put Gryffindors and Slytherins into one classroom was beyond her. The constant bickering was enough to send her into an early grave.
It would be tragic to die at the ripe young age of twelve.
But then, quite suddenly:
"If you're quite finished with your dramatic reading of those Daily Prophet rags dubiously called a newspaper, Mister Malfoy, I should like to start my class without your input."
Draco Malfoy, who everyone knew was Professor Severus Snape's favourite student (much to Lili's chagrin), turned bright pink and quickly stuffed the paper back into his bookbag. This was... odd. Lili blinked but focused back on Snape sweeping past her, making no comment to the Gryffindors he usually would've verbally eviscerated by now.
The strangeness was quickly forgotten.
With a few clipped orders and a set of instructions on the blackboard, the students got to work. It was the Fire Protection Potion as she suspected. Lili was relieved to not have any talking jars or cut fingers distracting her today. It was nice to feel somewhat herself again. It felt even better to get lost in the monotony of a familiar potion, even with Neville as her partner. As usual, he more or less worked through a panic attack while he followed her quiet directives.
1. Slice bursting mushrooms with knife, add to cauldron and stir clockwise until potion turns blue.
2. Add salamander blood to cauldron, stir anti—clockwise until potion turns green.
3. Crush Wartcap powder in pestle, add to cauldron and stir clockwise until potion gains thin consistency.
Snape prowled through the fumes, and Lili waited for him to make the usual waspish remarks about the Gryffindors' work while the Slytherins snickered appreciatively. Today, he was strangely quiet. He didn't even say anything too scathing when Seamus blew up his cauldron, again. He snapped at Lavender and Pavarti to stop talking, but he didn't take a shocking amount of points. Maybe he was ill?
Lili studied him.
True, he always looked on the edge of ill, but he looked just the same as always. Pale skin, grimace in place, flinty black eyes.
When he paused at her best friend's cauldron, Lili saw Hermione's shoulders tense, expecting a verbal blow.
But: "Aptly done, Miss Granger."
Hermione's brows shot towards her hairline. Lili's jaw dropped slightly. Snape looked as though someone had just force—fed him a huge cup of Skele—Gro when he turned away from both girls. Although she knew their frothing and bubbling potion was perfect, Lili still felt on the edge of her seat when Snape walked close to surely bully a cowering Neville... But all he did was clench his jaw in annoyance when he passed the Longbottom boy.
Neville's sigh of relief could probably be heard in Hagrid's hut.
Snape gave a brief nod of approval at Lili's potion and moved on.
Her father gave out the usual accolades to his Slytherins, Malfoy and Parkinson and the rest. Nothing so shocking. But she tensed when Snape stopped in front of Harry's cauldron, inspecting the contents in brief but critical silence. Already, she knew Harry's potion was actually passable, but she doubted her father would do more than sneer at the concoction.
Snape was looking murderous, but he managed to grit out, "Alas, Mister Potter. I must inform you that you have narrowly succeeded. Indeed, this was likely due to factors outside your control, perhaps poltergeist intervention, a stroke of good fortune, or an utter lack of interest in your work."
By now, the entire class was watching them. This wasn't anything new, true, Gryffindors holding their breath and Slytherins grinning amongst one another in anticipation, but so far, it hadn't been anything too scathing...
"Worry not, I'm aware that your studies hold little value to you, but if actual effort was put in, you may in fact revert to achieving your usual level of incompetence. As it is, you shall receive an Acceptable, for not being a complete troll."
Shocked silence hung heavy in the classroom.
Smartly, Harry blurted, "What?"
It was the wrong thing to say — of course it bloody was — because Snape's eyes darkened.
"Do you need me to repeat myself, Potter?" Her father drawled rudely. "Surely even you can grasp the words coming out of my mouth, assuming your comprehension skills are above that of an infant. Or must I truly spell it out for you?"
Harry's cheeks flushed in indignance, but mostly he just looked confused by the professor's motives. And frankly, Lili was too. She blinked once, twice, three times. His words were not exactly friendly but... it was... nice—r? Wait a moment. This couldn't possibly be about what the father and daughter talked about last week... could it?
What happened to him proving his inhumanity, to him showing her that he was a far worse person than she gave him credit for?
Snape swooped away in a dramatic swirl of his robes before anyone could say a single thing.
When they left the classroom an hour later, the quartet was still shocked into silence. It seemed like everyone else was, too. No one had said much of anything for the rest of the class, and all that had filled the emptiness was Gryffindor confusion and Slytherin glares. It was only once they had left the dungeons, on their way to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, that they finally dared to break their self—imposed silence.
"What... was that about?"
Hermione's mouth opened and closed a few times. "He was... almost..."
"Don't say 'nice'," Ron insisted darkly, "That greasy git isn't even capable of being nice... No offence, Lili."
The Snape girl waved him off in mild annoyance, still lost in her own thoughts.
"Ron!" Hermione scolded in her place, "You can't say things like that about a professor."
"Why not?! He's been downright terrible to us since day one, and especially to Harry! He wasn't even being nice today, he was just being... weird!"
"He was weird, all right," Harry agreed quietly, brow furrowed.
Hermione scowled in disapproval but said nothing. Lili worried her bottom lip, playing and replaying their conversation from last week over and over in her head.
With a huff, Ron wondered, "What's he playing at?"
"Knowing Snape, something foul," Harry muttered grimly.
But Lili, no, she wasn't so sure.
ϟ
Winter came swiftly.
Scottish winters were intense at the best of times, and Lili welcomed the cold and biting temperatures with a smile. Yuletide loomed closer, cold and white, while other students drifted into the snow with their trunks, heading home for the hols. Soon, Hogwarts would be wonderfully empty (or nearly). She knew soon that Dumbledore would lead them in his favourite carols and Hagrid would get drunk on eggnog, and even better, Hermione had announced that she, too, would be staying over this holiday.
All in all, it would be a grand Yuletide.
Today, however, Lili had serious business to take care of.
The Snape girl was going through the potions list with Fred and George; by the way, she was better at telling them apart nowadays, after a few months of working together. Their little business venture had true potential of taking off, and she was more eager than ever to get to work. Who knew what the future would hold? For so long, she never dared think about it. With everything she'd ever been told and everything that had been assumed, she'd always just imagined her future would be nothing but... Dark.
But maybe she had a true chance at a good life.
"Well, Snapelette, what do you think?" Fred peeked over her shoulder, "Any of these possible with potions?"
"Hmm... Well, it is doable for me, pretty basic stuff: bruise removal paste, glow in the dark bubblegum, pimple vanishers..." Lili bit her lip, cocking her head at them, "You've plans to make a whole store off basic potions like this?"
"Au contraire, pretty lady," George reached into his pocket and handed over a scrap of parchment, "We're just testing our clients out."
"Oh yea," Fred added excitedly, "After this initial phase, we'll move beyond onto—,"
"—Fainting Fancies—,"
"—Weather in a Bottle—,"
"—Exploding Whizz Poppers—,"
"Brill," her black eyes gleamed again, staring down at the parchment. "What are you thinking for distribution? How are you going to get out these potions without getting caught?"
"We'll start with an Owl Service to keep us safe from any... professors..." The twins exchanged a side—eyed glance, "Who might like to stick their oversized noses into any suspicious activity."
"You mean my father," she arched a brow.
"Exactly," they said as one.
Fair enough. Lili shrugged and nodded, "And for personal compensation?"
The Weasley twins exchanged another look and then grinned at her, "Thirty percent."
"Thirty—five," she replied evenly, all business.
"Thirty—one," they countered.
"Thirty—three. One—third. Fair and square."
The twins grinned even wider, "Deal."
Lili stuck out both hands so they could each shake one. They were in business. Just then, she saw round their shoulders that Harry, Hermione, and Ron were making their way out of the castle. As her friends strode closer, Lili noticed Ernie MacMillan and a few other kids heading home for the hols casting Harry wary glances. Like utter b—stards.
Lili wondered how many detentions she would get for hexing them.
If it was anything less than five, it would be more than worth it.
"Make way for the Heir of Slytherin!" Fred teased merrily at their arrival, striding back inside with George, "Seriously evil wizard coming through!"
Lili frowned at their backs. Harry's shoulders slumped.
Ron grinned, amused, and then saw his best friend who was anything but. "Oh, c'mon, Harry. Fred's just having a laugh."
"He's the only one," Harry trudged along unhappily.
"Okay, so half the school thinks you're nipping off to the Chamber of Secrets every night. Who cares?"
"Maybe they're right," the green—eyed boy mumbled.
As one, Lili and Hermione scolded in outrage, "Harry!"
"I didn't know I could speak Parseltongue," he spat back in frustration. "What else don't I know about myself? Maybe you can do something... even something horrible... and not know you did it."
Lili swallowed hard, looking down at her pale fragile hands.
Together, they leant against the stone railing to overlook the frozen lake and the boathouse.
"You don't believe that, Harry, I know you don't," Hermione shook her head, tone soft and encouraging, "And if it makes you feel better, I just heard Malfoy's staying over for holiday, too."
"Why would that make anyone feel better?" Ron practically groaned out.
But Lili understood immediately, a pleased gleam shining in her onyx eyes, "Because, the Polyjuice Potion is almost ready, isn't it?"
Hermione's eyes gleamed just as bright, "Yes, and in a few days... we may truly know who is the Heir of Slytherin."
Finally, finally, the time arrived.
Hogwarts had once again been decorated in all its Yuletide finery with trees and lights and garlands. Everyone was happy to see the changes, well, almost everyone. The first morning the castle had been decorated, Snape had hissed 'Hideous!' at the exact same moment Lili had beamed, 'Brill!' They sharply glanced at one another, and for a moment, she swore she saw his mouth twitch into a smirk. It was gone as quickly as it came.
On the night of the Feast, the Great Hall glimmered grandly. Snow fell from the ceiling but disappeared before flakes hit the table completely laden with the best of holiday food. Their quartet was huddled together at the Gryffindor table, setting their motion into plan.
"Everything's set," Hermione announced proudly, arching a brow at the other half of their quartet. "We just need a bit of who you boys are changing into."
"Crabbe and Goyle," Harry answered easily.
Of course it had to be Draco's closest companions ('friends' didn't seem like the right word). Lili rolled her eyes and instructed, "Remember. Don't focus all your attention on Draco; I'm not at all convinced it's him. Focus on Slytherins as a whole."
"Exactly." Hermione brought up another good point, "Not to mention, we also need to make sure that the real Crabbe and Goyle can't burst in on us while we're interrogating Malfoy."
"How?"
At once, both Lili and Hermione held up a pair of small cupcakes. "We've got it all worked out. We've filled these with a simple Sleeping Draught. Simple, but powerful."
Over her shoulder, Lili nodded at the usual Slytherin trio across the Hall where Draco was watching in disgust while Crabbe and Goyle ate everything in front of them. Dryly, she said, "We all know how glutinous those two ejits are. They will not leave the Feast 'til every last drop of trifle is gone."
"Now." Nodding in approval, Hermione scooted closer, "Once they're asleep, hide them in a broom cupboard and pull out a few of their hairs."
Ron arched a dubious brow, "And whose hair are you ripping out?"
Lili and Hermione exchanged a knowing glance.
"We've already got ours."
The two girls reached into their individual robes to reveal small vials with tiny hairs in each. Lili would become Pansy Parkinson and Hermione would be Milicent Bulstrode, both Slytherin girls who were in their age group and were able to gain easy access to the other House's common room. They'd already swiped the hair of their robes earlier in the day (and sent them on their way to a fake detention with Hagrid who was none the wiser but eager to show students his newest pets), and now all there was left to do was drink the Polyjuice Potion.
When the girls left to check on the potion, Hermione handed over two small cakes to the boys with a warning, "Just make sure Crabbe and Goyle find these."
As they strode to the door, Hermione linked their arms and Lili wondered aloud, "So. This Polyjuice thing; have you ever heard of a plan where so many things could possibly go wrong?"
Hermione laughed... but then agreed.
Moaning Myrtle was thankfully absent from the girls' bathroom. Lili was not equipped for another encounter with the beyond annoying dead girl. The Snape's were not naturally equipped with that much patience, and hers was usually spent on other more important things... like Professor Lockhart. Lili, clad in Slytherin robes, paced Hermione who hovered over their smoking cauldron. The potion currently resembled a thick, dark, bubbling mud. Perfect.
"And then four stirs counter—clockwise?"
"Three stirs," Lili corrected lightly, hands folded behind her back.
"But that's not what it says in the book," Hermione frowned deeply at the text.
"True, but it's the best way to brew Polyjuice, promise. That's what my father always says..."
Oh, the thought of her father made Lili a bit nauseous.
Severus Snape would literally skin her if he knew what she was up to.
She quickly distracted herself by readjusting the oversized robes over her shoulders and flat chest. The clothes were much too big for both the girls as both Pansy and Milicent were taller than Lili and Hermione. Taller and a little more... filled out... in certain places. She was sure it would fit if she could just figure out how to shrink it down; unfortunately, both of the Snape's were pants at Transfiguration... Not that she was going to tell her father that (even if it was sort of the truth).
The girl sharply looked up at the sound of approaching footsteps, tensing just before Harry and Ron came into view.
Lili sighed in relief while Hermione wondered, "Did you get it?"
Together, Harry and Ron held up their hands and in each was a tuft of dark hair.
Here goes nothing.
The potion was grey and mud—like, looking utterly disgusting and exactly as it should. Once consumed, they would have exactly one hour before they changed back to themselves. Now also clad in Slytherin robes (swiped by Hermione from the laundry), the boys grimaced down at the cauldron. So, Lili took it upon herself to pour the gloppy potion into separate glasses, and each dropped in their hairs as they turned four different colours — each respective to their new Slytherin identities.
"Ugh," Ron grumbled in obvious distaste, "Essence of Crabbe..."
Well, that's just... gross.
Raising her glass, Lili mumbled unhappily, "Cheers."
Three voices of 'Cheers' mumbled back.
With a final farewell nod, the quartet clinked their glasses and took a gulp. It tasted as horrid as it looked. Sour and bitter and downright disgusting. Lili's stomach curdled and her tongue recoiled at the taste, but she forced herself to swallow the sludge—like potion. If anyone in their quartet was used to unpleasant potions, it would obviously be the Potion Masters' daughter.
Ron swallowed thickly, doubling over, "Think I'm gonna be sick..."
The boy dashed into a stall, and Hermione wasn't far behind, dropping her glass onto the tile with a crash. Mouth twisting sickly, Harry grasped the counter to stay standing and leaned closer to the mirror. In the mirror, Lili watched curiously as her reflection seemed to bubble and boil to make someone else. Her lips thickened, her face widened, her eyes lightened, her nose tilted up. Brushing short dark hair from her eyes, the face of Pansy Parkinson stared back.
Beside her, Harry's features contorted into the thick face of none other than Gregory Goyle.
In the mirror, Harry — or, uhm, Goyle — arched a brow at her, "Well. Thoughts?"
"Major downgrade, Potter," Lili — or Pansy — assured with an unfamiliar smirk.
He beamed at her, and it was definitely not as nice—looking on Goyle's face.
Finally, Ron emerged from his bathroom stall, a dead ringer for Crabbe. He took one look at them and announced, "Bloody hell."
"We still sound like ourselves," Harry realised with a frown, nodding at their mate, "You need to sound more like Crabbe."
Ron adjusted his voice, "Bloody hell."
"Lower." Lili instructed thoughtfully, "Less intelligent."
Ron dumbed it down, muttering, "Bloody hell."
Harry grinned in approval, "Excellent".
"Hey..." Ron — that is, Crabbe — furrowed his brow, "Where's Hermione?"
Her voice came tinny and distant from inside the stall, "I—I don't think I'm going. You three go on without me."
Lili instantly felt worried, creeping closer to the bathroom stall. Something was wrong...
"Hermione, are you okay?"
"Just go!" Hermione's voice echoed, "You're wasting time."
Harry — or Goyle, or whoever he was now — looked to Lili.
"Go on," she nodded them towards the door, "I'll stay with her."
The boys nodded, exchanged a glance, and then dashed from the bathroom. Once they were gone, she leaned against the stall door and lightly bumped her boot against it. It filled the awkward silence with a low quiet rhythm that matched the beat of her heart. She was trying to think of what to say. Reassurance did not come to Lili easily, no matter how much she had softened in the past year and a half.
"Surely..." Her voice cracked awkwardly, "Surely, it can't be that bad."
"It is that bad. Actually, it's worse."
The stall's lock slid back. Lili held her breath. Ever so slowly, the door squeaked open, and then, through the small crack — even in the shadows, a pair of yellow eyes and a furry face peered back at her. It was Hermione... in cat form.
"Oh."
Immediately, Lili understood what had happened. Ron was right — bloody hell.
Dejected, Hermione muttered, "What will the boys say?"
Lili bit hard into her bottom lip, "Well... It's not... It's..."
"I know," her ears, poking through her hair, literally turned down with her sadness.
The need to reassure strengthened within Lili.
"Nevermind what the boys say. If it's any consolation, Milicent Bulstrode's cat could never hope to be half as pretty as you look right now."
Hermione sputtered a laugh, wiping at her teary eyes, and Lili patted her shoulder with a small smirk. Maybe this whole reassurance thing wasn't as hard as she thought it was. Lili wished there was something she could do to help her best friend, to take back the effects of the potion, but Polyjuice was too complicated for that. They had to wait for at least two weeks for the full effects of a badly done potion like this to fade.
She supposed they'd just wait together then, for the boys to come back.
It was a shame to let such a complicated potion go to waste, though.
Unless...
Lili quickly asked, "Will you be all right on your own for a bit, just 'til the boys get back?"
"Why? What are you doing? Lili, where are you going?"
Readjusting her robes again, she jogged towards the door and called over her shoulder, "The potion lasts for another thirty—five minutes, I've myself an idea. Stay here, and stay safe. I'll be straight back!"
"Lili—!"
The girl didn't wait for another moment to hear what she might say.
Godfather... godfather... godfather...
At the end of summer, Snape said she wasn't allowed to go looking for her mother's family, but that was before Ginny mentioned something about her godfather.
Anyway, what the hell would Ginny Weasley know about Lilium Snape's godfather?
Godfathers were usually close personal friends, right? It couldn't be a paternal one. Snape sure as hell didn't have many friends, or at least he hadn't ever mentioned a godfather in her twelve years of life. So, that raised the question: did her mother have close friends — or even boy cousins or brothers? Lili didn't know what she was expecting to find, much less how she was going to find it, but she thought she'd know it when she saw it.
As Parkinson, Lili sprinted down into the dungeons and did her best not to trip over her much bigger feet. She knew where the Slytherin common room was so she knew how to easily slip through unnoticed, ignoring where "Crabbe" and "Goyle" were sitting with Draco, her heart warming at the familiar sight of the glass ceiling with the Black Lake above. There was the only part of the Slytherin House that she was never allowed to explore, even as the Head's daughter: the dormitories, and that was exactly where she was headed.
She'd heard enough about the place to know what she was looking for.
Instead of the empty stone walls of Gryffindor Tower, the walls to the Slytherin dormitory were lined with old tapestries and pictures of Slytherins past. So, she studied the endless pictures of students, tracking the names with mute fascination: Eduardus Black (1822—1899), Leta Lestrange (1897—1927), Morfin Gaunt (1900—1992), Severus Snape (1960—?).
Lili focused on looking for her mum, looking for anyone who could be her mum's brother, but then she stopped, stuck on a picture she was not expecting. There, in a crowd of students from long ago, stood a woman, black—haired and black—eyed, intensely serious, with a familiar hook nose. In the list of names at the bottom of the picture, it said:
'Top, third from center: Eileen Prince (1930—?).'
Lili's grandmother, very much alive.
ϟ
Families were weird.
Snape called them unnatural, said the strongest creatures were the ones who thrived best when alone. Solitude was safety, and this had been ingrained into her DNA — taught to her nearly every single day of her childhood. Her blood and bone recoiled at the thought of connecting to her environment, to integrating herself with the people surrounding her. Her family was small, if her father was to be believed (and was he?), but Professor McGonagall always said family was more than blood and Gryffindor was her home now.
But it was hard to feel at home when Hogwarts was like this.
Day after day, the Great Hall was abuzz with anxiety. The air was choked with suspicion and lies and tension. People were still trembling with fear, muttering rumours, throwing sharp glances every which way.
Lili didn't like the looks Harry was still receiving, but she didn't like the looks that the Slytherins were all getting either. She could see that it had been bothering Snape as well, though they were more than used to this sort of treatment. Slytherin was an often misunderstood and rather ostracised House, but she hated that this Heir nonsense was making it even worse than usual. In some ways, Slytherin House was Snape's family — a family that she could never be a part of, now.
Just like everybody else, Neville was worriedly glancing round as he muttered, "Haven't any of the teachers noticed that the Slytherins are all safe? Isn't it obvious all this stuff's coming from Slytherin? The Heir of Slytherin, the monster of Slytherin — why don't they just chuck all the Slytherins out?"
"That's not fair, Neville," Lili scolded sharper than she intended. "Simply because there might be one bad Slytherin in the bunch doesn't mean you can judge all the rest of them in the same light."
"Yea, if only there was only one of them, how about all the other bad Slytherins?" Waving away smoke from his smoldering food, Seamus snorted and narrowed his eyes at her, "No offence, Lili, but maybe you're just biased 'cause all your family's Slytherin."
Family. She flinched at the word.
"I'm a Gryffindor, in case you forgot," Lili hissed sweetly.
"There wasn't a witch or wizard who went Dark that wasn't in Slytherin," Ron announced.
Lili tensed but managed through gritted teeth, "Did everyone forget that Quirrell was a Ravenclaw? Shall we chuck out the Ravenclaws now, too?"
Neville looked appropriately cowed, brow furrowed in thought. And he wasn't the only one. A few of her fellow Gryffindors looked just as contemplative at her argument. Good. She hoped she gave everyone something to think about.
"Whatever." Seamus, as always, could be a stubborn ejit. Dismissively, he went on, "No matter what's happening, they can't close Hogwarts. Where would we all go?"
"I don't care what anyone says," Dean jumped in with much more confidence, "As long as Dumbledore's here, Hogwarts will be here."
Lili sighed and hoped he was right about that, at least.
Family.
She glanced at Harry from under her lashes, rather good at being subtle about it in her own way. She'd been wondering about Harry's own family since First Year. She wasn't an ejit. She saw things about Harry Potter, things that most others couldn't see or refused to look for. She knew he asked Dumbledore to let him stay for the summer, and she knew that he didn't like his family. She knew that he leant further into touches and he was shocked at every apology he ever received.
It... It worried her.
Lili scooted closer to the boy at her side, hesitating only briefly when their thighs pressed, but she leaned closer to keep this between them. She didn't think he'd appreciate it if she spoke above much more than a whisper.
"Harry?" He glanced her way — expression soft and open, and Lili murmured gently, "What's it like for you? With your family, I mean, during the summers and that."
"They're not my—," Harry sighed softly, frustration fading. "My relatives are fine."
"Fine." Lili repeated wryly, frowning for a moment. Then, "Do they treat you nice?"
"Why are you asking?"
"Why are you deflecting?"
Very Slytherin, indeed. Ah, but this was a two—way street.
"What about you?" Harry challenged, "What about your relatives?"
"I..." Lili tried and failed at resisting the urge to fidget, "I don't really have any of those."
"What about your mum? Did you discover anything else about her?"
Oh, Lili certainly had. Her name was Bellatrix and she followed the Dark Lord and she was a Death Eater, even if she didn't know what that fully meant. But how the hell could she share any of that with him, The Boy Who Lived, whose parents were murdered by the Dark Lord himself?
Shame threatened to swallow her whole.
Besides, Lili was well aware that he was trying to derail her. And she wouldn't be distracted — not about something as important as this. If someone was hurting him, treating him bad, then she had to do something about it. He was her friend, and she... she... liked him, and she refused to let it happen if she could help it. No matter what Dumbledore or anyone thought, Lilium Snape didn't want to hurt Harry Potter.
Lili leaned closer, gently putting her hand on his, "Harry, about your relatives... Please just tell me."
Harry had never looked more uncomfortable in the entire time that she'd known him. He shifted, running his fingers through his fringe, glancing left and right and down and up. Finally, he looked at her with bright green eyes and a clenched jaw, "I—I really don't want to talk about it, not with you. So... if, I mean, you care about me, you'll leave it alone."
Lili recoiled just slightly, but her hand didn't leave his. She couldn't force him, and she'd just make it worse if she tried. So, she swallowed hard and nodded down at her plate of food. She suddenly wasn't very hungry anymore.
But this was what Harry liked about Lili Snape. She didn't push like Hermione or give him looks like Ron when he didn't understand. She simply accepted him, even if she saw through him. So, it was this understanding compelled him to shift their hands so they could intertwine their fingers. He gave them a light squeeze.
"You said you didn't really have any relatives," he repeated. "Does that mean you sort of do?"
Lili bit her lip, glanced both ways, and then leant closer, "Well. I learnt something, something I don't want to tell anyone else, not now. Not when there's so much else going on."
Harry's brows wrinkled but he nodded for her to go on.
"I've a grandmother, Snape's mum. I thought she was dead, but when we were Polyjuiced, I got a look at the Slytherin House photos and I saw her and it said she was still alive. They're magical, of course, it would have the most up to date information so that means..."
"She's out there, somewhere," he nodded along, brows still creased.
"Yea."
"And Snape, he said..."
"She was dead," Lili confirmed, biting her lip, "He said it ages ago."
Harry looked indignant on her behalf before muttering, "So... what are you gonna do about it?"
"I dunno, really. I want... I want to know her, to meet her. But what if there's a reason he doesn't want me to know her? What if he's got a good reason for telling me she was dead all these years?"
Maybe like her mum, maybe like her mum's family...
Was she destined to always be chasing something she'd never have?
Her friend considered this, long and hard, before finally shaking his head, "I just know, if I had family out there — any family at all, I would do whatever it took to see them again."
Harry gave her a sad smile, and Lili returned it just the same.
ϟ
Lili missed Hermione.
Like, a lot.
Once school started back again, Hermione would still be in the Hospital Wing for a few more days, ready to leave once she stopped coughing up furballs and the like. The nights in the dormitory were depressing with their whispered conversations and their usual hair—brushing routine. She missed Hermione's happy chatter and random facts and shared eyerolls over the boys' antics. Harry and Ron were a fine enough distraction, of course, but she still missed her best friend — her first ever friend, actually.
That being said, Lili was pouting.
She was not ashamed to admit it.
Lili had her cheek propped on her chin, poking at her veg when she heard Seamus mutter, "I can't believe I'm sayin' this, but I might've even preferred Snape over Lockhart."
"Don't say that!" Dean scolded, "Maybe you'll jinx it and Dumbledore will finally give him the post!"
Lili rolled her eyes and took a big sip of her pumpkin juice to keep from speaking. Her father had applied again for the position. Was rejected, again. And perhaps, again, she resented Dumbledore for still not giving it to him. He knew more about the Dark Arts than any professor she knew, and she knew a lot of professors.
"Who cares? The position's cursed, anyway, don't ya know anything?"
Lili spat out her juice and immediately began choking on what little managed to go down the wrong pipe. She dragged her sleeve across her damp lips, but it did very little to save her from the attention of her fellow Gryffindors. Harry helpfully smacked her back a few times, and she finally dragged in a gulp of clear oxygen.
Finally, she strangled out, "What do you mean the position is cursed?"
The pair of boys looked bewildered by her attention for a moment.
"I mean, somebody cursed the position ages ago," Dean shrugged, head cocking from his long neck, "When Professor Dumbledore was just starting out. Or so Carl Hopkins says."
She didn't know if Carl bloody Hopkins was reliable or not, but it really didn't matter.
No, not when Lili felt very cold all of the sudden. She whispered, "Does everyone know that?"
Seamus shrugged, "Seems likely. Just a rumour, o'course, but d'you never wonder why no professor ever stays in that position for more than a year? They either leave or die. Not great odds, I say."
Not great odds at all. And yet without fail, her father applied every year. To a position everyone said was cursed. To a position he knew Dumbledore was always going to refuse him. What the hell did that mean? It meant he wanted this all to end — whatever this was: life, probably.
Cursed.
How wouldn't she know that — the girl raised in Hogwarts herself? Unless someone purposefully kept it from her... and made sure everyone else kept it from her as well...
Fear tasted like copper in her mouth, her heart hot and heavy within her chest. She looked up at the Head Table and felt anger stir bitterly in the pit of her stomach. She waited until he felt her gaze and turned to meet her eyes before she pushed herself up and stormed for the exit. She'd barely made it into the corridor when Snape caught up with her, heavy hand landing on her shoulder.
Lili was shouting before he'd even opened his mouth, "Why do you keep applying for a cursed position?!"
Snape blinked, looking properly surprised. "I beg your pardon."
"You knew Defense was cursed! You knew and you did it anyway, why would—,"
"Lilium—,"
"Do you want to die? Do you still want to leave me?"
"Lilium—!"
The girl was shockingly hysterical, in a way he'd never seen before. Snape looked sharply round at the portraits and paintings along the walls who were starting to shake with every gasping breath, and it was more than clear that her magic was starting to spin out of control.
"Enough of this. Not here."
"But—,"
Snape raised a finger to her face, voice stern, "Not — here."
The delicious smell of food followed them from the Great Hall, but her father swiftly guided her away from the warmth and light and down the narrow stone staircase that led into the dungeons. Lili stumbled into her father's office, sweating and shivering at the same time, and she didn't expect that to change anytime soon. The fireplace was dark and empty, and the shadowy walls were lined with shelves of large glass jars, in which floated an endless supply of revolting things she knew all the names to.
Before they had even reached his desk, she was shouting again, "Taking that job, it could hurt you. No, it could kill you! And you know it could, that's why you've kept it secret from me! You're trying to get a job you know will only put you in danger!"
"It does not concern you."
"Of course it concerns me! How the hell could it not? And if... no, you'll miss... you'll miss everything! Who will stay with me if you leave? Who will understand me if you're dead? I'm... Without you, I'm all wrong. I'm f—cked up,"
"Language, Lilium," Snape chided sharply.
The gasping girl looked up at him in a dull sort of shock, brought back to reality by the words. It was instinctive, the reprimand; after all, it seemed stupid that he'd care about something like that now, and he seemed to realise that.
Snape winced.
So, Lili buried her face into her hands, trying and failing not to cry. Pressure built up in her head and her throat ached as she fought not to tear up, but it hurt so much that she couldn't stop herself from weeping. The jars of disgusting things along the walls were trembling wildly, rattling so loud it drowned out everything else.
He didn't seem to understand; she had to make him understand. She lost her mum, she couldn't lose her dad too. Through her impossibly tight throat, she managed to choke out, "Harry worries that he's the one everyone's scared of, and all the while it should be me!"
Snape frowned deeply, "You're not the—,"
"The Heir of Slytherin, I know, but what does that matter? I'll never be normal... I'll never keep people who want me... as soon as they see the badness inside me, they'll know I'm disgusting!"
Snape's nostrils flared as he snarled, "You are not disgusting."
"Then why does Dumbledore Inspect me? Why am I dangerous? Why am I a threat to The Boy Who Lived? Is that why you want to leave me?!"
She was definitely hysterical now, shaking and gasping in a way quite unlike herself. It was terrifying. He grasped her shoulders, pushed her through the room, and more or less dropped her into his desk chair. She startled. She wasn't sure she'd been allowed to sit in this seat — maybe ever. His hands did not leave her shoulders, in fact they only tightened.
"What I am about to tell you will not ever leave this room, am I understood?"
Warily, she nodded.
"As you know, Lilium, I enjoy the Dark Arts, and I always have — indeed more than I should. But when I apply for this position each year, I do not do it with the intention of Dumbledore agreeing nor does he deny me without reasonable explanation."
Lili snuffed, beyond confused, "Then why do you do it?"
Her father seemed to be choosing his words carefully, as he always did. Finally, he settled on, "Before you were born, it was... suggested... to me that I apply for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position in order to become better acquaintances with the Headmaster. I was denied and took the only other available position as Potions Professor, something we both can agree I am quite adept at."
She almost smirked a little, and he tapped the bottom of her chin with two fingers.
"Twelve years later, Professor Dumbledore and I have decided that I should keep up the habit."
"Because it was suggested to you," she replied croakily, more than a bit flatly.
Usually Snape was a better liar than this. Though, to be fair, the inscrutable expression on his face was very impressive and it almost had her believing... if she didn't know better.
Lili swallowed hard and asked, "So Dumbledore will make sure you won't ever get the DADA position?"
"Professor Dumbledore," he corrected, ignoring her eye roll when he continued, "And I will not say 'ever' as one can never know. But know this, I would not do it with the intention of being cursed and leaving you behind."
That was all Lili could ask for.
Still studying her weary expression, Snape let out a quiet sigh, "And if you're so very concerned about me, I believe I have a solution..."
Reaching into the deep pockets of his robes, he held out his worn palm to reveal two pieces of jewelry.
"A gift?"
His mouth twisted, but he said, "If you like."
Lili resisted the urge to snicker, knowing she'd made him distinctly uncomfortable. Deciding to be merciful, she let the matter drop and uncurled her fingers so he dropped a necklace into her palm.
The jewelry was cold against her skin but shimmered in the scant light of the dungeons. The thin chain was a pale silver and the pendant was the loosely coiled form of a snake, its body partly wrapped round a glittering obsidian stone. When she lightly touched the stone, it reacted to her touch and spun wildly within the metal grip of the snake. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him slide a ring onto his little finger and she cocked her head for a better look at it. His was also a snake, though the serpent was eating its own tail with a pair of obsidian stones for eyes.
"Very Slytherin," Lili complimented with a tired smirk.
Snape shrugged indifferently but a similar smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. Then, he spoke, "Hold still a moment."
She obeyed. He drew his wand, aimed it at his daughter, and she felt the soft tingle of magic drift over and through her. Then he drew what energy he pulled from her and aimed it at his ring until it glowed a soft white and then faded back to its original shiny black. She watched curiously as he did the same to himself and pointed it at the pendant in her hand.
Then, Snape nodded sharply in approval.
"Now that they're connected to each of our magical signatures, I've equipped them with a modified Protean Charm."
Her brow wrinkled slightly. She was both curious and annoyed that she didn't immediately know what he was talking about. Begrudgingly, she had to ask, "What's that?"
With a distracted wave of his hand, Snape said, "Both the pendant and the ring will grow warm if you have need of me, if you find yourself in mortal peril... again."
Lili tensed with a small shrug. It seemed likely.
"I have also enchanted it with a Four—Point Spell."
Again, the girl had no idea what that was. Annoyed now, she repeated, "Four—Point?"
"Point Me," her father murmured and faint words projected from the stones of the ring, reading: 'Snape's Office'. "It will allow me to track you down should I ever have need to. And it will also let me know if you take it off."
"Brill," she murmured, resisting the urge to scowl.
That was going to limit Lili's mischief—making quite sufficiently. D—mn. Snape seemed to recognise this because he was smirking quite smugly. What a b—stard.
ϟ
For the next two weeks, Lili and the boys visited Hermione in the Hospital Wing every day. And of course she visited almost every chance she had during meals and between classes and the like. Hermione was her first friend, and she desperately missed her dorm mate. Life was weird without her.
So, after History of Magic on Friday, Lili naturally made the journey to the Hospital Wing with her usual cargo, almost staggering under the weight of the library books in her arms. She tripped over her own shoes and managed to safely back to Hermione's cot which was covered in (shockingly) more books.
Hermione perked up at her arrival, "Oh, good. Put those anywhere!"
Lili looked round. There was literally no 'anywhere'. So she just... dropped them. Gently. With a sigh of great relief, the Snape girl perched on the small edge of the cot that was actually free and curled up close to her friend. Her friend smiled at her happily, wrapping one arm round her shoulders before oh—so—kindly handing her a sweet biscuit off her lunch tray.
"Oh! By the way, 'Mione," she said through her munching, wiping crumbs from her chin, "Madam Pince asked that I relay a message to you: she'd appreciate it if you'd leave a few books for the rest of the school."
Hermione sniffed and raised her chin, "I've got to keep up, haven't I?"
Lili rolled her eyes fondly, and just then, the other girl's tail twitched into view.
"So..." She started as casually and kindly as possible, "When's that going away?"
Hermione didn't take offense, but her cheeks pinked a bit. "Any day now, according to Madam Pomfrey. Your dad made a potion to speed my recovery, hopefully reversing the effects of Polyjuice faster. He didn't seem very happy with me..." She sighed and shrugged, "I'm just thankful I've stopped coughing up furballs."
Lili giggled and treated her with a pat of sympathy, "We all are, believe me."
Rolling her eyes, Hermione gave her a teasing shove before primly asking, "Now. Update me immediately. What's new going round that I've missed?"
"Hmm." The Snape girl hummed thoughtfully, stroking her imaginary wizard's beard, "We've got enough Potions homework to last us 'til Sixth Year, Professor Binns is as dull as dirt, the Great Hall served my favourite Holiday Blancmange again, and everyone still hates our mutual friend."
Hermione groaned, "Hasn't it gotten any better? I mean, surely at least someone has to be speaking to Harry!"
"Besides us, you mean? Well..." Lili bit her lip, "Neville asked to borrow a tubeworm from him in Potions yesterday. I suppose that's something, yea?"
"Poor Harry," the other girl tsked sympathetically. Then she glanced round for Madam Pomfrey, leaned closer, and whispered, "Well, what about the Heir of Slytherin? Any new leads?"
"Nothing." Lili sighed gloomily before her eyes caught sight of something gold sticking out from under the other girl's pillow. "What's that, then?"
"Oh, well, uhm..."
Arching a brow, Lili cautiously slipped the golden slip of paper out from under the pillow before flicking it open and blinking wide—eyed at it. "'To Miss Granger. Wishing you a speedy recovery, from your concerned teacher — Gilderoy Lockhart.'" The girl cringed, "Do you... sleep with this under your pillow, 'Mione?"
Hermione went bright pink this time and primly flicked her wild hair off her shoulder, "Of course not, Lili, don't be silly. I don't have any idea how that got there. Now shoo. I still have six hundred pages to read in Transformation: Through the Ages."
With a twinge of worry in her chest, Lili squeezed her shoulder and slipped from the room. Harry and Ron were dashing down the corridor and nearly collided into her, gasping and wild and shouting.
"There you are!" Harry panted, holding a stitch on his side, "Where've you been?"
"Visiting Hermione..." Lili replied carefully, eyes darting back and forth between them, "Where've you two been, then?"
"We were in the bathroom with Moaning Myrtle," Lili made a face and Harry responded in kind before continuing to explain, "And she said that someone threw this book at her, but she doesn't know who..." He started flicking through said book to show her, "This is a diary. And it's old..."
"It's old, it's smelly..." Ron's nose scrunched, "And it was most recently in a toilet."
Lili cringed, "Brill."
It was the opposite of brill. It was a thin and small journal with a worn black cover, and it was shabby and was as wet as the boys' shoes. Still... rather strange to be found in a girl's bathroom. Right? With Lili looking over his shoulder, Harry started to open the diary... when Ron desperately grabbed his hand. Both Lili and Harry jumped.
"Are you mad?!" Ron cried, "That could be cursed. Dad once told me about a book the Ministry confiscated that burned the eyes out of anyone who tried to read it."
Like a true Gryffindor, Harry dismissed, "I'll take my chances." But then he opened it... and immediately began to scream, "MY EYES! MY EYES!"
Lili yelped, diving to save him while Ron froze in absolute terror until... Harry immediately stopped screaming, grinned widely, and blinked his perfectly fine eyes at them. Like an utter b—stard. A hilarious, Gryffindor b—stard. Lili cracked up instantly, pitching forward as her arms wrapped round her stomach. Ron, for his part, was not as pleased. The redhead grumbled and punched Harry's arm. Harry beamed.
But then they noticed Ginny standing at the end of the corridor, looking from the diary to Harry with pale terror on her face.
"Ginny! I was only joking—," the girl dashed off before Harry could even finish, and his shoulders slumped with a sigh, "Brilliant. Even Ron's sister thinks I'm the monster now."
"Well." Ron shrugged, "Who doesn't?"
"Really not helpful, Ronald," Lili scolded before noticing that on the first page of the diary, embossed letters spelled out a name. "Tom Marvolo Riddle? Who is that?"
The name... something about it felt familiar. It meant something to her, but what? She couldn't say. Just like how she couldn't say she almost understood the Parseltongue Harry spoke that day. Only, this name was as if she'd heard it in one of her hallucinations, the sound of it from a half—forgotten dream, as though Riddle was a friend had when she was barely old enough to remember. But how? She'd never had friends, not before Hermione and Harry and Ron.
"Hang on, I know that name..." Their redheaded mate thought long and hard before he gasped, "Of course! The night I had detention, my job was to polish the silver in the trophy room. I remember because I kept burping slugs all over Tom Riddle's trophy. I must have wiped slime off his name for an hour."
"Trophy?" Lili raised a brow, "For what?"
"Special services to the school," Ron shrugged dismissively, "Fifty years ago."
"Hold on... Oh bloody hell." The girl smacked a palm to her forehead, eyes darting between her friends, "Don't you boys remember what Draco told you? The last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened was—,"
"Fifty years ago!" Harry realised with a gasp, "That means—,"
"Tom Riddle was here, at Hogwarts, when it happened," Lili tugged at her left plait, biting her lip thoughtfully, "What if he wrote about what he saw? It is possible he knew where the Chamber was, how to open it, even what sort of creature lives in it. If so, whoever's behind the attacks this time wouldn't want a diary like this lying around, would they?"
"That's a brilliant theory, Lili, with just one tiny little flaw." Humming, Harry fanned through the pages, "He never wrote in it."
"Perhaps it's invisible ink," Lili shrugged a shoulder and spun her yew wand in her fingers, incanting, "Aparecium!"
Smoothly, she tapped the open pages of the diary with the tip of her wand three times. Nothing happened. The pages remained blank. She frowned, slid her wand back up her sleeve, and passed the book back.
"I can't say for sure, Harry," she murmured quietly, dark brows furrowed deep. "But I think you ought to be careful with this diary. Ron might be right, it could be dangerous."
"But..." Harry bit his lip, looking at her cautiously. "You don't think I'm dangerous, do you, Lili? I mean, you're not scared... Of me."
"I might be scared, Harry. But not of you."
I'm scared of me.
ϟ
Valentine's Day was for dunderheads.
It was like everyone had lost their minds, eyeing and mooning over one another. So far today, Lili had seen more than eight couples pawing and snogging one another. Sickening. She didn't recall February 14 being such an important date last year, and yet now it was all anyone could talk about. She wanted them to all die miserable deaths. The Great Hall was decorated horribly, with the walls drenched with massive pink flowers and heart—shaped confetti raining from the ceiling. She suddenly understood the Muggle term 'carpet—bombing'.
Worse than that, apparently people were giving each other something called 'valentines card'?
Or so said Lockhart, anyway.
"Happy Valentine's Day!" Far too early in the morning, the man glittered and gleamed in eye—watering pink robes. "And may I thank the forty—six young people who have so far sent me cards! Yes, I have taken the liberty of arranging this little surprise for you all — and it doesn't end here!"
The DADA professor loudly clapped his hands (which hurt Lili's ears), and through the doors to the entrance hall marched a dozen very unhappy dwarves. Understandably unhappy as Lockhart had tragically coerced them into carrying harps and wearing golden wings. Harry was shocked and Ron looked too disgusted to speak. Hermione, who was finally all better, looked entranced.
Lili considered the benefits of banging her head against the table until she was knocked unconscious.
"My friendly, card—carrying cupids! They will be roving around the school today delivering your valentines! And the fun doesn't stop here! I'm sure my colleagues will want to enter into the spirit of the occasion!" He swiveled around, robes flapping while he waved his arms at the rest of the Head Table, "Professor Flitwick knows more about Entrancing Enchantments than any wizard I've ever met, the sly old dog! And while you're at it, why not ask Professor Snape to show you how to whip up a Love Potion?"
Poor Professor Flitwick was mortified enough to bury his red face in his hands.
And funnily enough, Snape was looking just as mortified. In fact, he looked as if the first person to ask him for a Love Potion would be quite forcefully gifted poison.
Lili hoped someone would try. It would be funny, and quite satisfying.
In any case, the girl thought she might bite the hand of anyone who dared to give her a valentine.
"I'm begging you, Hermione," Ron grumbled as they hurried out of the horrifying place that used to be the Great Hall, "Please tell me you weren't one of the forty—six."
Hermione suddenly became incredibly interested in searching her bag for her homework.
Lili sighed. Oh Hermione.
Not that her best friend was finally well and good again, the quartet was back to scheming. Shocking. They were surrounded by other students hurrying to their classes while they strode rather slowly across the quad. Focusing back on their earlier schemes, Lili was soon in the middle of a lecture, face pulled into a severe (very Snape—ish) scowl. She would've killed all three of her friends if any of them had mentioned it.
"No," she was saying, "But I've known Hagrid for years, and he's our friend. He wouldn't do this, I know he wouldn't."
Apparently, Harry learnt from that freaky, old book of his that Hagrid opened the Chamber of Secrets fifty years ago. Please.
"We don't even know this Riddle," Ron added, "He sounds like a dirty, rotten snitch to me."
Fair enough, thought Lili.
Harry was immediately (and oddly) defensive, "The monster had killed someone, Ron; what would any of us done?"
"Why don't we just go ask Hagrid about it?" Hermione wondered.
"That'd be a cheerful visit." Their red—headed mate chimed sarcastically, "'Hullo, Hagrid. Tell us, have you been setting anything mad and hairy loose in the castle lately?'"
"Mad an' hairy?" said a voice from behind, "Wouldn' be talkin' 'bou me, now would ya?
The quartet jumped and wheeled round, finding none other than Hagrid himself grinning down at them. Grand. Stupidly, they instantly looked guilty. All together, they shouted, "No!"
Raising his bushy brows, Hagrid looked both curious and rather uneasy.
Desperately trying to deflect, Harry nodded to the canister in the half—giant's hand, "What's that you've got, Hagrid?"
"Flesh—Eatin' Slug Repellent," Hagrid explained while Lili nodded knowingly, if a bit distractedly. "Fer the Mandrakes, ya know. Accordin' ter Professor Sprout, they still got a bit o' growin' up ter do, but once their acne clears up, we'll be able to chop 'em up, stew 'em, an' get those people in the hospital un—Petrified. Though I'd s'pose your dad'd be doing that, eh, Lils?"
"Yea," she replied meekly, "He said he would."
"Good." Hagrid nodded approvingly before shaking a finger at the quartet, "Now, 'til then, you four best watch yerselves, all righ'?"
Dumbly, the kids nodded. Still glancing at them curiously, Hagrid loped away and passed Neville who was sprinting towards them, pale with fright.
"Harry! I don't know who did it, but..." He bit his lip, cheeks flushing with pity, "You'd better come."
Not at all ominous, is it?
It was lucky that the boys' side of the tower allowed girls to enter because Lili and Hermione were able to rush up after them into their dorm. Lili was first struck by the intense smell of twelve year old boy (which was disgusting, to say the least) and then by the disaster at their feet. Harry's space was an utter disaster: trunk riffled, drawers flung open, clothes strewn on the floor. The boy quickly went to his knees to go through the mess that was his belongings. Without even thinking about it, Lili joined him.
She quickly tried to help him tidy up, salvage what he could...
He didn't have much, really...
"It was probably a Gryffindor." Lili murmured through a frown, stacking up his scattered textbooks, "No one else knows our password, do they?"
Hermione was looking thoughtful again, worrying, "Unless, it wasn't a student..."
And wasn't that a cheery thought? It was only the Gryffindors and the professors who knew the password to the tower, of course. And the adults were, for the most part, relatively harmless this year.
Ron sighed heavily, "Well, whoever it was, they were looking for something."
"And they found it..." Harry slowly lifted his head to meet Lili's eyes, "Tom Riddle's diary is gone."
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Lili yawned.
She'd been up with nightmares again last night, and so any and all movement today felt a bit miserable. The lights were too bright and everyone was so bloody loud. She wondered if this was what it felt like to be hungover. The Snape girl followed lazily after the others in the quartet down the staircase. They were in a bit of a hurry, as usual, seeing as how Harry had Quidditch in about eleven minutes. Oliver Wood might actually kill The Boy Who Lived if he was late to a match.
He was a bit intense like that.
Ron spotted something down below so he shouted, "Hey, Ginny! Going to the match?"
Lili followed his gaze. As if startled, the younger red—haired girl jerkily looked up at them and then hurriedly shook her head before scurrying away. Lili frowned, hand trailing down the stone railing. So strange.
"I'm tellin' you," the Weasley boy tutted in disapproval, hopping down the last few steps, "She gets weirder and weirder by the day..."
Lili opened her mouth to scold him when another voice cut in:
"Kill this time... Let me rip... Help me tear..."
Lili tripped to a stop, eyes widening just as Harry froze, looking sharply at her, "You hear it, too?"
The girl nodded stiffly, eyes flickering closed, body so totally and completely rigid. She felt Harry's fingers brushing against hers again, nearly curling with hers in a way that both terrified and comforted her. Hermione and Ron had stopped as well, knowing simply by the looks on their faces...
"No..." Ron murmured, "Don't tell me..."
Harry turned from them all, as if following the Voice, absently touching his fingers to the wall while glancing round. Lili quickly clasped her fingers into the back of his uniform, trying to pull him closer to her. This wasn't how it was supposed to go; she was supposed to follow the Voice, he was supposed to be safe from it! That was the whole point! Hermione studied them both with great interest, watching Harry's trailing fingers and Lili's glazed eyes. Then, abruptly, her grip on him fell and he turned back round with a small shake of his head.
They both knew: it was gone.
"Lili..." Her best friend's eyes slowly trailed to her face, but her mind was miles and miles away. "I think I've just understood something! I've got to go to the library!"
Lili blinked and then Hermione was suddenly sprinting back up the stairs.
"Wait!" As the wild—haired girl rushed towards the library, Harry yelled after her, "What do you understand?!"
But she was gone.
Harry looked puzzled, "The library?"
"That's Hermione," Lili said fondly, if a bit shakily, "When in doubt, go to the library."
Together, the three headed down to the pitch... only to find that the match had been cancelled. It was only when McGonagall along with Harry and Ron came to fetch Lili from the stands that she knew something was terribly, terribly wrong. Without a single explanation, their Head of House led them to the Hospital Wing. Lili already felt that her stomach had calcified and weighed a ton in her gut.
She wondered if she was going to throw up on the hem of Professor McGonagall's robes.
"I warn you." The stern woman paused outside the heavy double doors, turning grimly to the three students, "This will be a bit of a shock."
Then, McGonagall opened the door and slowly led them inside.
Lili frowned at the sight of Madam Pomfrey leaning over a nearby hospital cot, but when she straightened up, the frown fell away into a gasp.
"Hermione!"
Lili barely managed to stagger over to the cot, knees turning to jelly so she sank down at her best friend's side. All the breath rushed out of her, and she felt the horror radiating off Harry and Ron just as keenly. Hermione's body was stiff and waxen, her body frozen in an unnatural position with her eyes wide and unseeing. Petrified.
"She was found near the library, along with this," McGonagall held up a small circular mirror, "Does it mean anything to any of you?"
Slowly, Harry shook his head, but Lili could do nothing but stare at her best friend.
With a swirl of black robes, Snape suddenly appeared out the corner of her eye. She spun to him with gasping breath and shiny eyes. Angry and afraid, Lili was near tears; tears that she was managing to keep in by sheer force of will. She already knew that Snape would have no idea how to comfort her, but she had long since given up expectation of that from her father. Instead, she needed him to fix this. She needed him to fix everything.
"She's been Petrified," she reported in a some strangled unfamiliar voice, knowing she was stating the obvious and yet was unable to stop herself. "Someone hurt her, and she was alone, and she must've been so scared—,"
"We will heal Miss Granger," her father told her sharply.
"How do you know?" Lili demanded hoarsely, eyes locked on his, forgetting the whole miserable world round them. "How do you know the cure will work? How do you know Hermione will wake up? How do you know more people won't be Petrified? How do you know whoever's doing this will even be caught—?!"
"Because I made a vow," Snape's swift words silenced her, and she watched in awe when he told her without a hint of falsehood, "And I always uphold my vows."
This comforted Lili more than any hug possibly could.
annie speaks
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HELLO HELLO! HAPPY SUNDAY! this is a rather large chapter but i hope you enjoyed it! soooo much happened and there was a lot to cover so i hope it wasn't confusing with how all over the place it is. is lili's grandma alive?? what is snape doing, being slightly nicer in class? will harry ever tell lili about how the dursley's treat him? will lili lose her shite now that her best friend is petrified? stay tuned to find out!
i'm going to my bachelorette party in an hour or two so i will try to respond to your lovely comments when i can! they always mean the world to me.
also, two funny thingamabobs today because i feel like it :)