Battlefield of Paanchaal
Three days.
Three uneasy days swept through within a blink of an eye, and no side appeared to win or lose. Both sides were faces equal losses, but there was nothing that could stop the sides from giving up; the Paanchaals began to fight with more vigor, eager to defeat us to show our worth, the army from Hastinapur wanted to ground right into their minds what being the mightiest of the Kurus mean to them.
There was glory.
And there was death and destruction.
It appeared like a vast ocean, swim through it to survive or drown in it to acquire martyrdom; there was no other way out. It happened like the layers, in fact like the waves of oceans. First there were the slow waves, the soft soothing ones; just like how survived warriors greet each other gleefully, talk about their feats in the battlefield. Then comes eventually the roaring waves, the deadly ones that threaten to sweep anyone that dares to come closer; and the worst part was, this ocean of war doesn't listen to anyone.
Just how the ocean ravishes unabashedly, same is what a war does....it doesn't follow anyone's command nor will ever do.
And just like how an ocean sweeps away destroying everything and leaves it destruction for days, the destruction caused by war continues for days.
Grief, trauma and loss...
The burning pyres had their flames ablaze, the smoke rising up as it devoured the carcasses; the thin flimsy white angavastra around my neck only whispered silently with the winds as I gazed on at the thousands of bodies turning into ashes.
There are no enemies after death; because after death nothing matters. With whom we had war or for whom we fought for.
The men and women from Paanchaal had came from their villages in order to pay homage to the ones killed; for no one could clearly know the warriors were from which sides specifically after their demise. We made way for them, for them to witness their loved ones-
For one last time.
If they found them, they rushed towards the pyres; while others silently praying unable to find which pyre had their own. Just standing at a distance with tears stained eyes and folded palms.
And I did not know which one was more heart breaking.
"Did you also lose someone you love?" I was snapped out of my trance, as I noticed a child standing beside me, glancing at me intently. There were stains of tears on his cheeks, his curious yet weary irises raking around me.
My lips forcefully stretched into a smile as I shook my head. "And you....?"
"Father." He stared at the pyres for a brief moment, and glanced at me with his lips pressed into a thin line. I shut my eyes firmly, trying to adhere myself together.
"But my brother told me not to feel sad." My gaze snapped at the little boy, who gazed at his father's pyre.
"Is it?" I rested a palm on his shoulder.
"Hmm." He nodded, "He says that he has achieved martyrdom. There is nothing to cry, instead I should be proud about it. So I stopped crying after listening to him-" He uttered with an innocence that made me flip my heart for a while.
"And?"
"And he told me to follow his steps." My lips curved into a half smile at his words, "And...?"
"Then I asked her whether he would miss him or not." He blinked softly, and somehow I was anticipating his answer, "And what did your brother tell you?"
"He said he will. But he also said that will be proud memory of him as well. Because that is ultimate truth for him." The flames of the pyres rose higher, the smoke mingling with the endless dark sky, as if everything was going back to nature again, "And what is truth can never be demolished. It is what he said to me."
My heart began to thud faster at his words. Truth, his brother had stated the truth. Whether I refuse to understand it or ignore it, nothing can change the ultimate truth. What is the truth is bound to occur someday, but....why? If this is the ultimate truth then what is the reason behind it?
Is death really the ultimate truth?
"You didn't ask your brother what the ultimate truth is...?" It was as if I was asking the empty trees and stars, rather than to the child, for a moment I didn't even know what I was asking to whom; but I felt like voicing out.
"I did."
"And what did he say?" I curiously glanced at him, blinking.
"Nothing." I was about to say something but he interjected, "He said that it is not the right time for me to know."
"He will make me understand someday else." He voiced out softly, glancing at me, "He said it is enough for me for now." There was a jolt of disappointment within me, which I marred off swiftly. There was a rush of emotions that was trying to counter my thudding heart at his reply, the urge to know more yet, it somehow felt like everything was being directed to me.
I softly smiled at him, brushing his tresses gently, "Is it....? Your brother, he didn't come to see your father for the last time?"
"No." He nodded crisply, "He said that he already attained peace, that's his only body which is burning. So what is the use to witnessing what which is only earthly?"
I stared at him for a while.
Who is his brother? And how did such empyreal visions come into his mind.
"Really? Did he say so?"
There was a flash of amusement in the child's eye at the mention of his elder brother, making my lips shift into a smile. Truly, who wouldn't want a brother like him?
"Hmm, you don't him. His words and his skills of rearing cows is empyreal!"
Rearing cows? Is he a Gwaalan?
He is a cowherd, yet his words are so....
"Is it? But he seems so...." I was so loss of words, glancing away at the pyres.
"Don't underestimate my brother. He is a cowherd indeed, but when did profession shadow someone's intelligence?" Even the child's tongue had a spark in it. Like his brother, indeed.
"The entire village praises him and his butter making skills." I couldn't stop just smiling at his words; and the curiosity and the urge to know more about him was pacing up. The truth which my heart was trying to deny repeatedly, in spite of knowing it; he accepted it and believed it so openly?
How?
How did he have so much resilience to accept that truth?
Doesn't his heart waver? What is it that kept him that strong?
What did he know that I don't?
My mind was being bombarded with so many questions that I wasn't able to focus on any one of them. There was an uncanny sense of tremor yet a coating of ushered peace; I couldn't understand what was happening to me.
I wanted to know more about it, I wanted to know more about him.
But-
"Now, I think I must leave..." The boy spoke up all of a sudden, almost causing me to flinch, "Bhrata must be waiting for me."
So fast?
But I wanted to know....I was gaping at him blankly for a few moments. His eyes flickered under the fire from the pyre, a soothing shade of tawny that glistened, there was a grip under those gloomy eyes; the loss of his father was visible yet the grip of him to move on, his resilience was shining in them.
He had something in him.
A resolution to accept.
He nodded with a soft smile and was about to depart, when I halted him, "Wait? What is your name....child?"
He stopped in his tracks and turned back at me, "Ashutosh." His lips curved up as the lingering half smile was etched on his face, and before I could say anything further, he began walking away. I kept staring at his figure, hoping he would turn back but he didn't. Almost disappearing into the crowd, it felt that he wasn't even there for a while.
Ashutosh....is that what he said to me?
★★★★★★★
A/N
You guys are pretty intelligent, samajh hi jaoge ofcourse. 🌝✨
Signing off for today!
Nushkie