"He ain't at the treehouse either."
Throttle, who had been gazing out of the window of the garage whilst being deep in thought, glanced over his shoulder, only to see Modo stepping off his beloved ride with a worried expression on his face that matched his inner restlessness.
"That's... unexpected", he said quietly, and his bionic eyes darted back to the window to watch the sun slowly disappear behind the skyline of the city of Chicago.
Try as he might, he couldn't stop himself from feeling worried.
Eight hours had passed since Pux's phone call early in the morning had ruthlessly disrupted his very peaceful sleep.
Eight hours since she told him what happened this morning when her mother came to check on Charley like she did every morning.
Eight hours since Vinnie left the hospital, and there hadn't been a sign of him ever since.
Now, it wasn't the first time that the young Martian needed some time alone, and it sure as hell wasn't the first time that he went MIA without telling his bros about his whereabouts.
This was Vinnie they were talking about, after all.
But this time, it was different.
It usually didn't take him longer than two hours to resurface again, a window that was now long closed.
To make it even worse, he had turned off the GPS on his bike.
It was something Throttle had made him promise to never do a long time ago, and it was a promise he had never broken.
Until today.
So yeah.
Throttle was worried.
He was also conflicted, as he had no idea if Vinnie just needed some time alone, which was completely understandable with everything that was going on, or that he might be in trouble.
Both options were actually rather likely, though the police scanner had been quiet so far.
No signs of fights in the streets close to Limburger Tower, or some nasty bike accident with casualties, which made the second option a little less likely.
But still...
Throttle didn't like this.
No, he didn't like this, at all.
Perhaps some might call it naive, but he really thought Modo would find him at the treehouse, the very one from which Vinnie thought they didn't know about.
Which was also rather naive, actually, but then on Vinnie's part.
Of course Throttle knew about the treehouse, and thus also Modo.
There wasn't much that the leader didn't know, he just never told Vinnie that he did as it was clear to him that his young brother wanted to keep this place to himself, and Throttle respected that.
He couldn't blame him for wanting a place of his own, a place where he could be himself, a place where he could unwind if the demons in his head became too loud.
All that mattered to Throttle was that he knew where to find him in case shit would unexpectedly hit the fan.
He didn't like standing in the dark, especially when it came to his bro's whereabouts.
But he was now.
You know.
Standing in the dark.
He had no idea where his beloved baby brother was right now, something that made him more anxious than he liked to admit.
It wasn't merely about his slightly unhealthy need for control but rather about the fact that Vinnie didn't do very well on his own.
He was too impulsive, too reckless to be on his own for more than a few hours, next to that, no one should be alone when being in pain.
And Vinnie was in pain, alright.
He always was, since his life hadn't been easy, but this whole serial killer event hadn't been really helpful, Throttle could tell.
Even though Vinnie tried so hard to cover it up, to act like he was okay, Throttle knew that he wasn't.
Their connection ran deep enough to know that.
And then there is the baby...
"I don't like the idea of him being out there on his own...", Modo said quietly as he sat down next to his tan-furred friend, thereby breaking him out of his thoughts.
Thoughts they apparently seemed to share, which wasn't really surprising considering their close bond.
"Me neither. But he obviously doesn't wanna be found. So what can we do? Beside waiting, that is...", Throttle sighed as he leaned back in his chair, and after pushing his glasses up, he rubbed his sore eyes.
Modo cast him a sideway glance before gazing out of the window again.
"You think he's coming back? I mean, he's pretty freaked out because of the baby. Maybe he ain't ready to become a father..."
Throttle scoffed, shaking his head as he placed his glasses back where they belonged.
"Of course he isn't ready. I'm not sure if he ever will be."
"But will he come back?", Modo repeated a little more urgent now, as though he was in desperate need of some reassurance that their beloved little brother hadn't run away for good, and Throttle glanced at him from the corner of his eye with a furrowed brow, not sure why Modo was suddenly doubting Vinnie's loyalty.
One could say a lot about Vinnie, but he was profoundly loyal to those he cared for.
"Of course he will. He always does and you know that."
Modo didn't seem convinced, and although it slightly irritated Throttle, he also supposed he couldn't blame him for being a little skeptical this time.
After all, it was just like he said.
Things were different this time.
There was a long silence, and with every second that ticked by, the two brothers in arms became more restless.
"Maybe he's in some kind of trouble... Maybe he needs us and we're just sitting here, doin' nothing...", Modo grumbled frustratedly, staring at his own reflection in the window as it was now too dark outside to see anything else.
"Maybe we should take another drive through the city. Heck, maybe we should even pay Limburger a visit..."
Throttle glanced at his older brother out of the corner of his eye, but just when he wanted to tell him that paying their mortal enemy a visit with only the two of them without knowing for sure that Vinnie was there basically equaled suicide, he heard something.
Something that was music to his ears, and both he and Modo visibly relaxed when they recognized the sound as the one belonging to Vinnie's red racer.
"Guess you still know him better than I do", Modo breathed relieved as he softly punched Throttle on the arm.
Throttle looked over at the garage door opening, and he shrugged one shoulder a bit absent-minded.
"I guess I do..."
Heavy metal music, along with the loud roaring engine of Vinnie's bike filled the earlier quiet garage as the white-furred mouse hurled inside in a more out-of-control way than usual, which was actually the first sign that something was off.
However, due to some serious relief to find out that his baby brother was at least alive and kicking, Throttle missed it.
With shrieking brakes, Vinnie's red racer skidded to a halt, and both Modo and Throttle silently watched him putting his bike on the standard before turning off the engine.
Silence, sweet and peaceful silence, dawned upon them, and the first thing that Throttle noticed now the first waves of relief started to withdraw was that Vinnie's movements were different than usual.
More... jerky, or some such.
Slower, too.
The second thing that hit him was the smell that lingered around the white-furred mouse, but it was one he couldn't place, or well, not right now, at least.
The third thing was that he seemed to have some trouble with finding the button to open his visor, which was strange because years of experience had taught them to blindly find every button the helmet was equipped with.
Hm.
Something wasn't quite right here.
After trading a swift look with Modo, who looked just as confused, Throttle's eyes landed back on Vinnie, who had given up on finding the button and was now struggling to get his helmet off.
Eventually, he succeeded and he threw the thing on the floor before flashing his friends a somewhat lazy smile.
"Hiya fellas. How's it hanging?"
His speech was somewhat slurred, and Throttle narrowed his eyes behind his glasses by hearing the mild lisp.
No.
Something definitely wasn't right here.
In some sort of reflex, his bionic eyes darted up to Vinnie's, hoping to find some answers in there for they were usually an open book.
But he soon found out that today, they weren't.
In fact, they looked more glassy than ever, and Throttle's jaw slightly tightened as an ominous feeling nestled itself in his stomach, making him feel slightly nauseous.
In some feeble attempt to ease it, he straightened his back as he gave Vinnie one of his notorious stern looks, although not too stern, as he instinctively knew that some subtlety was in order here.
"Where have you been, Vin?"
His voice was soft and devoid of the hard tones that he knew were there when he was upset, but like mentioned before, subtlety was needed, for Vinnie's entire appearance somehow gave Throttle the impression that even though he was here now, all he needed was one wrong word and he would be gone with the wind again.
Right now, that was the last thing they, or the city of Chicago for that matter, needed.
But of course, the white-furred youngster wasn't planning on making things easy, and he shrugged one shoulder evasively, or maybe even carelessly.
"Well, ya know... here and there."
Knowing it was of utmost importance to stay calm, Throttle took a deep breath through the nose to ease this still-present restlessness inside of him.
You know, that same restlessness that kept telling him something was wrong.
"You were MIA for eight hours, Vincent. I'm sure you understand I need a little more than just 'here and there'."
Well, that didn't go so bad.
He even managed to sound somewhat friendly.
But again, Vinnie didn't take the bait.
Even worse, he decided to have an attitude.
Pursing his lips, he gave Throttle one of his most allegedly innocent looks, including the fluttering lashes.
"Ahw, so you were worried about me, huh? That's so cute."
He then rested a hand on his chest, and a soft hiccup escaped his mouth before his lips curled into a smug and fairly challenging smile.
"Heartwarming, really."
Throttle clenched his teeth, but he said nothing.
That was mostly because he didn't want to say things he would regret later on, but also because he was currently racking his brain as to what the hell was wrong with his little brother.
His little brother, who was never easy to handle but today, it felt different.
More intense.
More... real.
Modo, however...
Well, in all fairness, Modo never had been really good at handling this side of Vinnie, and so it didn't really come as a surprise that he was already annoyed by his younger brother's, in his eyes, rather selfish behavior.
"Of course we were worried about you", the grey-furred giant spat out, his fur bristled and while he straightened his back as well, his eye flickered red a couple of times.
"You can't just vanish like that, man. What if something happened and we weren't there to help you out? You could've been hurt, or worse."
It was a fair thing to say, in Throttle's opinion.
Spoken from the heart, as well, even despite his aggravation towards the young mouse, and the tan-furred leader raised his eyes to see how Vinnie was going to respond to this, deep down hoping that he would drop the smartass act but also knowing that the chances of that were slim to none.
And oh, look how right he was.
Pulling his legs up to stretch his muscles, Vinnie let out a laugh before he rested his feet back on the greasy floor of the garage and pointed a finger at Modo.
"You really need to chill, dude. It ain't healthy to be so serious all the time."
While he was talking, he suddenly seemed to be distracted by something and his red eyes darted from Modo to his mildly trembling finger.
After staring at it for a little while with a furrowed brow, again, that infuriatingly lazy slash smug smile appeared on his face, and his earlier glassy eyes now started to slightly twinkle in awe.
"Fingers really are the strangest things...", he mumbled, a statement soon followed by another hiccup, and he pointed his mildly smoldering eyes at his bros.
"Don't you agree?"
It was then that the so-called penny dropped, and Throttle took a deep breath as he raised his eyes, only to let the air escape his mouth again while closing his eyes for a split second.
"You're drunk", he concluded flatly, now finally understanding what was going on here.
He wasn't sure why it had taken him this long to figure it out, after all, it wasn't the first time that this happened.
The first few months here on Earth hadn't been exactly easy and it was during that time that Vinnie discovered another method of shutting up his demons, which was, looking back, rather inevitable since Earth seemed to be full of substances that were able to dull one's mind.
Alcohol.
Just as addictive as adrenaline, but perhaps even more deadly.
A silent killer, as Throttle recalled, one of his books had named it.
Vinnie merely shrugged as he slid off his bike, almost falling face forward on the floor while he was at it, but he miraculously managed to remain on his feet.
"I am not", he slurred, but then his face darkened and he rubbed his chin as he thought about Throttle's statement for a brief moment.
"Or maybe I am..."
Soon thereafter, his face relaxed again, and he shook his head with a laugh while grabbing the bottle of whiskey he was, apparently, holding with his tail.
"Nah. Not drunk. Just cheerful", and he took a swig out of the bottle that was already almost empty, Throttle noticed.
He also knew this couldn't be the first bottle he chugged, since it really took a lot of booze to get a Martian drunk.
Or actually, the real challenge lay in staying drunk, which had probably something to do with their rapid metabolism, at least, that's what Throttle thought it was.
He was no doctor, after all.
Only an experienced expert, so to speak.
Not that he had ever laid his hands on a bottle of that vicious stuff himself, but one would be surprised how much there was to learn when one paid attention to what happened around them.
"Oh, yeah, you're the posterboy of cheerfulness", Modo huffed, rolling his one eye before he pointed at the bottle in Vinnie's hand.
"Where did you get that anyway?"
After taking another sip, Vinnie wiped off his mouth and leaned against one of the counters since his legs weren't able to carry his full weight.
"Some homeless guy gave it to me. Told me he wanted to return the favor for once. Ya know, to help a lost cause to ease his conscience."
The grey-furred giant scoffed, obviously not believing a word that came out of Vinnie's mouth, which was rather understandable, in Throttle's opinion.
"You stole it is what you're trying to say here."
Vinnie's eyes grew big, and his tail lashed through the air in indignation.
"I would never!", he gasped in shock, but then he started laughing again, though his eyes remained dull.
"Okay, maybe I did."
Throttle squeezed the bridge of his nose, for some reason not irritated like Modo but mostly just sad and maybe even a little desperate that they were, as it turned out, back to square one.
"I thought we put this all behind us, Vinnie...", he sighed before catching the white Martian's gaze again.
"You promised you'd never drink again."
"Yeah, well. Desperate times", Vinnie shrugged, and Throttle's heart grew heavy when he heard the sadness in his brother's voice.
The very same sadness that had driven him to this major setback.
A lost cause...
Was that really how he saw himself?
Maybe he did.
If only he didn't.
He was so much more than that.
If only he could see that for himself.
If only that obnoxiously big ego of his would be there to remind him of that whenever he was overtaken by his demons.
Unfortunately, it always seemed to vanish into thin air when it came to that.
"You're not a lost cause, Vinnie. You're just lost. There's a difference, ya know", Throttle said without thinking, and already cursing himself for saying it the moment that he did.
Some might say it would be good to open the conversation they obviously needed to have.
They really needed to talk about what happened in that cabin, and they really, really, really needed to talk about the baby.
But the thing was, Vinnie didn't do talking, him being drunk proving that theory.
He was a runner.
An Avoider with the capital A.
Throttle knew, and yet, he did the one thing he really shouldn't do and that was trying to have a serious conversation.
Classic mistake.
And indeed, his attempt immediately chased Vinnie further back into his shell, starting with his smile that vanished like smoke in the wind.
His eyes, dull up until now, now suddenly blazed with despair and panic, and he shook his head as he literally backed away.
"No. We're not gonna do this. I don't wanna talk about it. I just can't."
"I know", Throttle simply said, sadness and powerlessness making his voice even huskier than usual, as he eyed the white-furred mouse with both sympathy and frustration.
If only he knew a way to get through to him.
To get it into his thick head that some things shouldn't be taken for granted.
That sometimes, the hard way was the only way to not end up alone.
Hm.
Maybe that was exactly the right card to play here.
It was definitely worth a shot, and he took a deep breath.
"But you can't run from this forever, Vin. So you better figure out a way to deal with all this."
He dropped a silence, one he used to give his baby brother one of his notorious penetrating gazes, all to get through to him.
To deliver the message he so desperately wanted to give him.
"You owe that to her."
It was all he said, but apparently, it was enough.
Vinnie's ears drooped, and tears filled his eyes, although he quickly used the sleeve of his black hoodie to wipe them dry as he staggered toward the stairs that led to Charley's apartment.
"I'm gonna take a shower."
Both his bros watched him stumble up the stairs, and Modo heaved a sigh while softly shaking his head.
"That boy..."
"He can't help it, and you know it. He'll come around", Throttle told him, knowing now that he would.
After all, Vinnie only took a shower without someone telling him to when he was cornered.
When running was no longer an option.
Perhaps that didn't make sense, but it did to Throttle and that was all that mattered.
He had gotten through to him.
Playing the Charley card was risky, but, as it turned out, definitely worth it.
Things were back in motion again.
The first domino had fallen over after balancing on the edge for a little while, and now it was time to help the second one to follow.
After that, it was out of his hands.
He could only hope the rest of the stones would follow its predecessors.
That for once, destiny would do its goddamn job.
After grabbing his helmet, he snatched one of Vinnie's many black hoodies lying around in the garage and made his way over to his black and chrome motorcycle.
"You keep an eye on him, big fella. I'll be right back."
Modo sat a bit more upright, a confused look on his weathered face.
"Where are you going?"
The tan-furred leader mounted his bike.
"Cleaning up Vinnie's mess."
And with that, he drove out.
...
Meanwhile, Charley just lay there in her hospital bed, feeling utterly alone.
Which was strange, actually, because she wasn't alone.
Not really, that is.
She would never be alone again, all thanks to that little chunk of cells growing inside her belly.
Ivy had told her this morning that everything seemed to be okay, at least, as far as she could tell.
Despite her extensive experience, this was completely new territory for her as she didn't come across alien babies very often, her words.
But the heartbeat was strong and regular, it had even grown a few centimeters.
By the looks of things, what Charley endured hadn't affected the baby, which was good news, of course.
If only she could feel it that way, but she couldn't.
Not without Vinnie by her side.
God... what if she just lost him forever?
Tears already rose to her eyes again, really, ever since she woke up after the most traumatizing event in her life, all she seemed to do was cry.
She hated crying.
It made her feel weak.
Next to that, it didn't even bring the relief she so desperately needed right now.
No, all it brought were nasty headaches.
Great.
Just great.
Suddenly feeling very uncomfortable, Charley rolled on her right side, trying very hard to find a position that would ease the sore muscles in her body.
It didn't work, though, but that was to be expected.
She had tried about all the positions that were physically possible in a bed, but her body was just done with doing nothing.
If she wasn't feeling so extremely tired, she probably would have been back to work at the garage instead of just lying here, if only to distract her troubled mind.
But even lifting so much of a hand had about the same effect she imagined running a marathon would have, which was a logical result after the blood loss she had suffered, or so she was told.
Well, logical or not, it was annoying, to say the least.
She used to be so full of energy, but there was nothing left of that.
In fact, there was nothing left of the strong person she used to be before all this.
She hardly recognized herself, even more so, she wasn't entirely sure if she even liked this new version of herself.
Or well, actually she did know.
And the sad truth was that she hated this version.
It was too weak, too vulnerable, too... broken.
Wrinkling her nose, she stared at the curtains that softly moved in the wind.
The nurse had tried to close the window when she came for the last check of the day, but Charley had insisted she would leave it open.
In fact, she had almost attacked her when she even so much suggested closing it, and her cheeks started to burn by only thinking back at that embarrassing moment.
But what if he came back?
He had to come back... right?
He couldn't just leave her like this.
He wouldn't.
He loved her, he told her himself.
Again, she wasn't able to convince herself, and a tear left the corner of her eye and slid down, only to end up on her pillow.
"Vinnie, please...", she whispered, her gaze still fixed on the window.
"Come back to me..."
As if on cue, there was a soft sound heard by the window, and Charley's heart skipped a few beats as she raised her head with her green eyes wide open in anticipation.
A hand opened the curtains, and a small pang of disappointment made her stomach cramp when she noticed the lack of white hairs covering said hand.
However, despite that it wasn't the mouse she so desperately wanted to see right now, it still felt so good to see at least one of her Martian friends, and a smile appeared on her face.
"Throttle", she breathed happily as she came upright.
The tan leader of the Biker Mice stepped into her room, and after pulling off his helmet, he flashed her a warm smile.
"Hey there, Charley-girl. It's so good to see you."
His genuine smile, along with the affection he always managed to put in his words was already enough for Charley to start crying again, much to her annoyance.
But shit, seeing him reminded her of Vinnie, and only thinking of him just hurt so much.
Throttle's face clouded, taking his so-called million-dollar smile with it, and with a certain caution, he sat down on the edge of the bed.
"No one ever said loving him would be easy", he said quietly, and he used the tip of his index finger to wipe a tear away from her cheek.
Unaware of what happened at the garage only minutes ago, Charley figured he just knew exactly what was going on inside her head, as he always seemed to do since they had gotten to know each other better in time, and she sniffed as she rubbed her face with the sleeves of the sweater she was now wearing instead of that awfully itchy hospital gown.
"No one ever said it would be this hard either", she muttered, her nose wrinkled.
Throttle let out a soft chuckle, though it might be said that it was a humorless one.
"I know. Perhaps I should've warned you, but something tells me you wouldn't have listened. You're the type of girl who needs to find out for herself. And now you did."
The auburn-headed mechanic too let out a sound that came close to a laugh.
"Oh, I did, alright..."
She then wiped off her nose and glanced up at the tan-furred mouse with swollen eyes.
Her initial plan was to ask why he was here, after all, it was him who had forbidden Vinnie to come here as it was too risky, so seeing him here was kind of a surprise and that was an understatement, to say the least.
However, the moment she gazed into his behind-glasses-hidden eyes, there was this odd yet unsettling feeling that nestled itself in her stomach, caused by the realization that this was actually the first time that she was in his presence since he knew about the pregnancy.
And suddenly, she knew exactly why he was here.
Why he even ignored his own rules, why he took the risk of being exposed.
He was here to lecture her.
To ask her how she could have been so stupid, so careless.
Maybe he was even here to tell her she needed to terminate the pregnancy...
The thought alone made her almost hyperventilate, and she grabbed Throttle's wrists in a tight grip.
"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I got pregnant. I didn't know it was possible. I would have been more careful if I did."
If he was startled by her grabbing him out of the blue, he didn't show it, but that wasn't really shocking, for the guy had about the best poker face in the entire universe.
He did, however, look confused, and after studying her face for a little while with a furrowed brow, he shook his head with his mouth in a tight line.
"Never apologize for creating new life, Charley. I'd be lying if I say it wasn't a shock, and I'm still racking my brain as to how this child will fit into this life, but I'm sure we'll figure it out. All that matters to me now is that you're safe, and so is your baby. The rest will come as it goes."
Charley's mouth dropped, as this was kind of unexpected.
Then again, Throttle had the tendency to be unpredictable, a theory proven once again.
When he saw her gawking at him, he lifted a brow, looking slightly uncomfortable under her intense gaze.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
It took her a few good seconds to find her voice again, but eventually, she did.
"I thought you were here to lecture me. You know, for being so stupid...", she mumbled, still feeling highly confused by his laid-back response, but also relieved.
That was mostly because he was actually the first one who told her that in the end, everything was going to be okay.
Even more so, he meant it, and she believed him, as she always did.
Again, a smoky chuckle was heard.
"It's not my place to lecture you. Besides, you'd never listen to me if I did", Throttle grinned as he ruffled her hair in a playful brother-sister kind of way.
Charley snickered as she wiped her now messy hair out of her face.
"You know me too well already."
Throttle's lips twitched, and he rested a hand on hers, the very one that was already on her stomach again.
That seemed to happen a lot ever since she found out about the life growing inside her.
"In all honesty and everything aside, I can't wait to meet the newest member of the family", he said wholeheartedly, like only he could.
As it seemed to become a habit these days, tears rose to Charley's eyes once again.
That was mostly because of his sincerity, one that no one could fake, but also because she couldn't ignore that little voice telling her that even though she appreciated Throttle for saying this, he was actually the wrong mouse to tell her, and a muffled sob came over her lips.
"Well, that makes you the only Martian that does."
She didn't mean to sound so bitter, but the fact remained that she did, and in all honesty, right now, she didn't even care that much, and she put her chin in the air.
Almost as if she dared Throttle to say something about it, which was a rather childish response to all this.
She knew, and yet, she couldn't stop herself.
Throttle, however, merely squeezed her hand.
"That is not true and you know it. He just needs some time."
Why did everybody keep saying that?
It was infuriating, to say the least, and Charley snorted as she pulled back her hands before crossing her arms over her chest.
"We all need time, but we're still here, aren't we? He's not. So what gives him the right to just walk away while I'm stuck here? It's not fair. We are supposed to be in this together."
The tan Martian pursed his lips as he eyed the clearly upset and highly stubborn human being in the bed, but then his face softened.
"You're angry. I get that. Some might even say you have every right to be, and who knows, maybe they're right as he obviously hurt your feelings by leaving when you needed him to stay. But Charley...-"
Gently, he untangled her hands and took them in his.
"-...you chose him. You fought for him with a fire raging inside of you that is even rare on Mars. You wanted him to be yours, and now you have him, along with all his flaws and shortcomings. The question is - are you up to it? Because I'm telling you, he's not going to change. Not as much as you want him to change."
Charley blinked her eyes in bewilderment, for this was again not what she expected him to say.
Then again, he was Martian, and she knew that Martians looked at the world differently than Earthers did.
It had something to do with their culture, but what it was exactly, she had no idea.
Still, it was rather confusing, and she cast the tan mouse a puzzled look.
"You get angry with him all the time. For meeting me, for not erasing my memory, for ruining my life, and the list goes on and on. And now you're telling me that I can't be angry because I just need to accept him the way he is?"
The tan Martian heaved a sigh in defeat, and he let go of her hands before sliding off the bed, only to make himself comfortable in the chair next to it.
Nibbling on her lower lip, Charley just watched him in silence.
How he slumped against the backrest.
How he folded his hands in front of his face and stared at something in the distance, or at least, that's what she thought he was doing, but it was kind of hard to tell with the glasses.
In all fairness, he sort of made her nervous.
Maybe she overstepped herself by accusing him of being a hypocrite for that's what she just basically did, then again, it was the truth.
Or at least, her truth.
Nah.
The truth.
After what felt like a lifetime, his bionic eyes darted back to her, which again she couldn't see but this time, she felt it.
She always did whenever he looked at her with the same intensity as he looked at her now.
"Let me tell you something about unconditional love. It's the very core of Martian existence, and although we have many different cultures and clans on Mars, they all have one thing in common and that is love. Pure and unconditional love in all the forms that it exists. That's what makes our bond so strong. We don't judge one for who they are, we only judge their actions and will never abandon them for what life has made of them. Once we connect, whether it's because of love or blood, it is forever."
There was a hint of a smile around his lips, not enough to make him actually smile but at least enough for Charley to understand that speaking of this clearly brought back some memories, and by God's grace, they were happy ones instead of bad ones for once.
But then, a shadow flickered across his face, taking the smile with it.
"In all fairness, when I just came to Earth, it wasn't seeing the water of the forests that confused me. It was seeing the lack of what our society is basically built on. There's just so much hate... I personally believe that's what will be the downfall of Earth, in the end..."
He fell silent for a moment, and Charley slowly rested her head on the pillow, waiting somewhat impatiently for him to continue as her curiosity was piqued once again.
Also, she couldn't deny that he was probably right.
Earth, or rather its population, was working hard on digging its own grave.
Eventually, he opened his mouth again.
"The truth is... Being here changed me. I wasn't always like this. So... dedicated to the cause. Don't get me wrong, I knew perfectly well what I was fighting for, and I stood by it. But it was different. I was different."
Charley swallowed with difficulty, deeply touched by his honesty and impressed by how easily he talked about all this.
That was definitely at odds with how his beloved younger brother handled these complicated things called conversations.
"So what changed you?", she asked as she wrapped her arms around her legs before resting her chin on her knees.
"Being stuck on an unknown planet. Not having a way back home while knowing that they need you there. That my people are dying and there's nothing I can do to protect them. Finding out that the same Plutarkian scum is trying to destroy this planet just as they did to Mars... The mission became everything. It was my anchor to stop myself from drowning. It was my way of taking back control. It still is, I guess..."
Charley could only conclude that it made sense.
"I can't even imagine how hard it must be to be stuck here while your family needs you up there. It's not strange that you need a straw to hold onto."
Throttle shrugged.
"Maybe not, but I let it cloud my judgment. That's why I got so angry with Vinnie all the time. His carelessness, though not intended, threatened to sink my anchor and take me along with it. Frankly, I was being selfish, I know that now. I put leadership above family. And that's what scares me, you know? It's just not who I am. It goes against everything my clan taught me. I judged him instead of his actions. That was wrong. I was wrong."
Hearing him blaming himself for being uhm... human or some such broke Charley's heart.
It just wasn't fair, and she shook her head in disagreement.
"The fact that you admit that out loud makes you so much more than you think you are right now. You're a great leader, Throttle, and an even better bro. Don't you dare to forget that. Of course you're not perfect. No one is. And that makes us just perfect enough."
Her words seemed to do something with him, although she wasn't sure what.
But there was this cloud that flashed over his face, one that reflected both sadness and gratitude, and she suddenly realized that it probably had been a while since someone told the tan-furred leader that all things considered, he was actually doing very well.
Truth be told, she too had never told him that before, simply because he always gave her the impression that he didn't need that kind of acknowledgment.
That he knew perfectly well how good of a leader he was.
Clearly, she was wrong, and the fact that he obviously had no idea how to handle her complimenting him only confirmed that.
It would have been endearing if it wasn't so sad, and she lowered her eyes, all to give him a moment to regroup, which he did, eventually.
"Look, I'm not telling you that you can never be angry with him because that's simply impossible as Vinnie can be rather insufferable. All I'm saying is - try to cut him some slack. We're all scarred due to the war, but Vinnie..."
He trailed off, and Charley straightened her back as she suddenly realized that she was talking to Throttle.
Okay, that sounded downright stupid.
Of course she knew she was talking to Throttle, but what she actually meant was - she was talking to Throttle.
Vinnie's older brother, who knew him through and through, who knew everything about him, who fought with him side by side, who was with him during all the heartbreaking events in his life, who had seen him break...
"He told me he had a rough childhood", she said slowly, as always hating that she couldn't see Throttle's eyes.
"Or well, he didn't actually tell me, but he said enough for me to connect the dots."
Throttle's face darkened, and he slightly shook his head, already knowing where this was going and definitely not liking it.
"I'm not here to share his life story. That's up to him."
Charley crawled a little closer to him, also shaking her head.
"I'm not asking you to. All I'm asking you is this: Do you think he can help it? You know, being the way he is?"
It took him a while, but eventually, Throttle shook his head.
"No. I don't think he can. He's trying the best he can, especially with you. When we found you there in that room... I've never seen him like that before. You mean the world to him. He even connected with you. That doesn't just happen, ya know. It's a big deal, even on Mars."
Charley slumped back in her pillow, and after staring at the ceiling for a short moment, she nodded.
"Then the answer to your question is yes. I can deal with all this, but Throttle...", she breathed, suddenly feeling a bit panicked as she already got back upright again to face her dear Martian friend with desperation written upon her face.
"What if he never comes back? He made it very clear that he doesn't want anything to do with the baby..."
Throttle leaned forward and gently rested a hand on her knee to stop her from going down that road.
"That's not true. It was the baby who made him kill that man, Charley. I saw it happen right in front of me. The moment the killer mentioned the baby, there was this fire inside of him... I've never seen anything like it."
Charley frowned.
"No, that's not true. He killed the man to protect me..."
"No. He thought you were dead, we all did. We thought we were too late. There was no reason besides revenge to end the man's life, and even though that was enough for Vinnie, the grief of your loss was too heavy for him to stay on his feet. I saw him falling apart right in front of me, but then... then the man told Vinnie that the baby was still inside of you, and... well, it gave him the strength to do what needed to be done. And so he did."
Whilst Charley just gawked at him as she was currently at a total loss for words, Throttle gave her knee one last fond squeeze before he leaned back in his chair, and after crossing his ankles, he caught her gaze again.
"And that brings me to the reason why I'm here. You have to know, Charley, that taking a life, whether it's innocent or not, leaves its traces. Vinnie will never admit this, but this whole thing with the so-called Angel of Death has been traumatizing for him as well. He needs some time to process it in his own manner. His mind simply doesn't have any room left for other things right now, and as always when life gets too overwhelming, he runs away. It's his way of dealing with it, and no, I'm not saying it's healthy coping, but this is how he is. This is what he has learned in his childhood and we can't blame him for that, no matter how hard that is. I sometimes make that mistake, too, but it's not fair to him."
A sharp pain in her belly wound forced Charley to lay down again, and she stared at the ceiling with her lower lip slightly shaking.
She had never thought about it this way, actually.
She always thought that killing bad people didn't bother Vinnie that much, but perhaps that was again her nativity speaking.
That wouldn't be the first time after all.
Maybe Throttle was right.
Maybe she was, indeed, expecting too much of him.
"I always learned to confront problems head on. You know, to just grasp the nettle and get it over with. So yeah, maybe I push him too hard, sometimes...", she said quietly, now understanding what it was that made things so complicated between them from time to time.
"There's no right or wrong here, Charley. Only lessons of life", Throttle told her when he picked up the tone of guilt in her voice.
"You can either judge each other or learn from each other. I think the choice is rather simple, don't you?"
Charley nodded, and a tear trickled down her cheek.
"So what do I do now?"
Throttle smiled.
"Give him some time to shut his demons up. But most importantly - don't let him push you away. Fight for him like you did earlier and I promise you - he'll do the same for you."
Charley stared at him.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I know unconditional love when I see it. And you two are both full of it."
After giving her another one of his notorious reassuring smiles, he reached for something behind him.
"Here. I brought this for you. Figured you might need something to feel connected with him."
He pushed something in her hands, something soft.
"I know it's not the same, but it will help you remember. It will help you to keep him close until he's ready to take back his place. This place...-", and he tapped a finger on the thing in her hands.
"-...for it is right where he belongs. With you. Always and forever."
Charley stared at the hoodie she was now holding, the very one that was infused with Vinnie's maddening scent.
It even had all those tiny white hairs on it, she now saw, and tears filled her eyes once more as gratitude washed over her.
No, perhaps it wasn't the same, but for now, it was enough.
"Thank you...", she mumbled, her voice thick with emotion, and before she even realized what she was doing, she threw herself at the tan Martian standing next to her bed.
After wrapping her arms around his neck, she gave him a tight hug while burying her face in his sweater.
"Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this helps. You being here, explaining things to me... You're like the brother I never had..."
Okay, maybe that sounded a little overdramatic, but for once, Charley didn't care, for it was the truth.
He really was like a brother to her.
Who would have thought?
She sure as hell didn't, at least, not when they just met.
But here she was.
Loving him like family.
At first, Throttle was too surprised to respond, as this wasn't really Charley-like behavior, but then, his face softened as he carefully wrapped his arms around her as well.
"No. Thank you. For not giving up on my little brother... sis."
A single tear flowed down Charley's cheek when she heard him say that last word, and she tightened her grip around him.
Family.
Family really was the best of home.