- CHAPTER 𝟏
❝ I GUESS THIS IS GOODBYE ❞
- ⋆ 𝗞𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗮 ⋆ -
TODAY IS THE day I've been dreading the most. Jude is moving to Madrid.
Don't get me wrong; I'm immensely proud of him for following his dreams and being acquired by one of the best teams in the world. I'm just sad because he's moving away.
I've already pushed a limit convincing my parents to go to Germany for him, and now they won't let me go to Madrid because, in their words, I need to be 'less dependent' on Jude.
I understand where they're coming from, but Jude has been there for me all my life. It's not easy for me to just let him go like that.
It's like separating a married couple from each other. I know there is now technology and all that for us to keep in contact, but I'm afraid that now he's well-known he won't have time to talk to me anymore.
The last thing I would ever want is for us to stop talking to each other.
Anyway, here I am, in my car driving to the airport to say one last goodbye to my best friends. I know I'm making it all dramatic, it's not like I'm never going to see him again, but the longest I've been away from him was barely a day.
I can hear my phone buzzing, but I'm too focused on watching the small droplets of water rolling down my window. The weather is clearly in the same mood that I am.
The sky is a rare shade of light grey, the rain showering calmly over the outskirts of Dortmund.
Since Jude is also leaving, it makes no sense for us to stay in Dortmund. I can't lie; the city is amazing, but it's really difficult to adapt.
In my whole two years of living here, the only words I know how to use are hallo and scheisse.
I've already started packing. I would say I'm pretty much done; I just need to pack my hand luggage.
We will be travelling back on Friday morning and will arrive around an hour later. It is better for us because I am absolutely terrified of airplanes.
Of course, the only one who knows this is Jude. I just find it embarrassing to tell others, even though it's a pretty common phobia... right?
My thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of my door opening. "We're here, darling," my mum says as she opens the door wider for me to get out, noticing I had snapped out of my trance.
I mutter a quick thank you to her and walk out of the door with my hoodie up and my hands in my pockets.
I promised Jude I wouldn't cry. I pinky promised him even.
I'm not one to break my promises, so I wipe all the tears that have formed throughout the journey, and then put on my happy face as best as I can.
I need to show Jude I'm happy for him because I know he's probably over the moon, and I wouldn't want to ruin his mood.
We walk over to Jude's terminal and look around a bit to see if we can spot the Bellingham family, but nothing. Maybe they are just running a bit late.
"Mark just texted me; they are on their way now. They just went to grab some food," my dad says while squinting at his phone.
I just nod at him, then just as I'm about to pull out my phone, I feel someone lift me up. I'm about to flip out when I recognize Jude's scent.
"Guess whooo?" he drags out, spinning me around. "Hmm? Donald Trump?" I guess sarcastically. "What the heck," Jude chuckles as he puts me down.
"Where's Jobe?" I look around for my best friend's younger brother. "He couldn't make it; he has a match," Jude wraps his arms around me, pulling me in for a tight, comforting hug.
Being in Jude's embrace makes me feel like I'm going to burst into tears any second now, overwhelmed by a mix of emotions ranging from joy to the bittersweet reality of parting ways.
It seems as if this might be the final instance I'll ever find myself in his arms, listen to his voice, or even catch a whiff of his scent, and the thought is tearing me apart.
"When's your flight?" I clear my throat, not completely trusting my voice not to crack.
"Um, in 10 minutes. We still have a bit of time," he pulls away from the hug and looks into my eyes, a somewhat sad expression etched on his face.
"I can't believe you're going to be playing for Real Madrid," I give him a sad smile. "Me neither," he chuckles, tears forming in his eyes.
We just stand there in the middle of the airport, looking into each other's eyes, ignoring everything occurring around us.
We both have so much to say, but no words are coming out of our mouths. Suddenly, we find ourselves hugging again; it's like a reflex.
Our faces buried in each other's necks, his arms wrapped around my waist while mine rest around his neck. "So proud," I choke out as tears threaten to fall.
"Why can't you just come with?" he sniffs, and only now do I realize he is crying as well. "I wish I could, J." My voice trembles as I hold Jude tighter, not wanting to let go of him.
"Jude, the plane's ready," Denise pats Jude on the shoulder. He reluctantly pulls away, his eyes still fixed on me. "I'll make sure to visit; you have to too," he holds my hand.
I just nod at him, trying to hold in the sobs that are begging to be released. "I love you, I'm so proud," I give him one last hug.
I expect him to walk away, but he just stands in front of me. "Don't hate me, but you might want to remove your phone from 'Do Not Disturb'," he pecks my cheek before chuckling.
I wonder what he has done...
His laugh brightens my mood a little bit; it's like we are telepathic. If he's happy, I'm happy, and if I'm sad, he's sad, and vice versa.
"I love you, I'm so proud of you," I caress his cheek. "Jude, we really have to go, or else we'll miss the flight," Denise tugs on his arm.
"I guess this is goodbye," I smile at him, wanting him to be happy about his new life. "I guess so..." he sighs, holding on to his luggage.
He gives me an awkward smile before slowly walking away. "Don't forget to call and text," I call out to him. "Always," he replies, and with that, he disappears into the crowd.
All I want to do is cry, but that isn't what Jude wants. I should stay strong; Jude would want me to be happy.
I know I should be ecstatic that he's living his dream life, but it feels like my own other half has been taken away from me, forever.
It feels like I can't live happily without Jude in my everyday life. I guess I'll have to learn since I'll be living without him for so long.
"Let's get going, love. He's not coming back," my mum wraps an arm around my shoulder. We all walk back to our car in silence, no one knowing what to say anymore.
I'm just about to take a nap since the drive from the airport to our house is kinda lengthy when I remember Jude told me to remove my phone off "Do Not Disturb."
I do as he said, and my phone won't stop pinging and vibrating, hundreds of notifications appearing on my screen, making it impossible to use my phone properly.
I quickly silence my phone to avoid disturbing my parents, who are chatting about whatever.
I click on one of the notifications out of curiosity, and the link directs me to YouTube.
I still can't do anything since the notifications won't stop coming, so I put my phone back on "Do Not Disturb" mode.
I go back into YouTube and see that Jude has posted one of my vlogs where I did a get-ready-with-me for one of his matches. The video is all edited, of course. That little motherfucker is slick...
I expect the video to flop, but my eyes widen when I see it already has 19k+ likes and counting, 38k+ views, and tons of comments.
Many people are complimenting my personality, saying I'm so real and genuine, not putting up an act just for the camera.
Others are talking about how stunning I am, and it's honestly so flattering. I open Instagram, and as expected, my following massively increases, all thanks to Jude.
I decide to send him a text message, my fingers excitedly dancing over the keys.
J🤍🫶🏾
You
you sly motherfucker
why'd you do that ?😭
J🤍🫶🏾
if i get to finally chase
my dreams, so do you 🫶🏾
god.
i love you soooo much J
i am aware😏
🙄
you better keep vlogging
cuz you can't keep me and
32k others waiting forever 🤷🏾♂️
shit
is it already that many??
yeah
it's crazy
it really is
look at us
we're becoming everything
we've ever dreamed of and
we've gone through all of it
together 🥹
you're so sappy bellingham
says the one who was crying 😘
don't act like your bitch ass
didn't start🤨
wtv
i gtg the plane's about to
take off
i'll text you as soon as i arrive
alright byeee
adiosss
*liked by you*
😂
*liked by J🤍🫶🏾*
✰✰✰
Jude has always been so considerate, but I can't lie; I didn't expect this from him. He's truly a gem; it's his inner brilliance that makes him genuinely precious.
☆★☆
- 𝖧𝖾𝗒 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌𝗌 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗐𝖾 𝖺𝗅𝗅? 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖽𝖺𝗒?
𝗄𝗂𝗇𝖽𝖺 𝗌𝖺𝖽 𝖿𝗂𝗋𝗌𝗍 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋, 𝗂 𝗍𝗋𝗂𝖾𝖽 𝗆𝗒 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍𝗍 𝗑
𝖩𝗎𝖽𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝗌𝗈 𝖼𝗎𝗍𝖾 𝗆𝖺𝗄𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗌𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗁𝖾𝗌 𝗌𝗎𝖼𝖾𝖾𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝗇 𝗅𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝖺𝗌 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅.