CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Celeste Allegra.
That was the name of the woman in our living room. She invited herself in. Agad ko namang pinaakyat sa itaas si Russle upang kausapin ang babae. Hindi ako ang pakay niya. She was waiting for my husband.
For some reason, Gotham's men didn't leave the vicinity. They were eyeing us like eagles waiting for the right moment to attack. Is she a threat? Wala akong ideya. Maganda siya at mukhang fashionista. I couldn't sense any danger coming from her.
Dala ang tray ng inumin, bumalik ako sa sala. As much as I wasn't a fan of trespassing, I still have my manners to serve her something to drink. I didn't know what she liked so I brought options for her.
Inilapag ko ang tray sa glass table. Naupo naman ako sa kanyang harap. Malaki ang pagitan naming dalawa.
"Oh, I didn't know Gotham was already accepting a stay-in maid. That's good. So, when we move in I don't need to worry about who's helping me." The woman blabbered. "Where's Gotham, by the way?"
Kumunot ang noo ko sa kanyang komento. I wasn't liking the tone. I was getting agitated with the vibe.
"I'm not a maid," I stated firmly.
Tumaas ang kilay niya at nagsalin ng red wine.
"You're not?"
Tumango ako. "In fact, I'm Gotham's wife."
Tiningnan niya ako mula ulo hanggang paa. Her stare says everything about what she thinks.
It was certainly full of insults.
"How come?" she asked. "Are you dreaming? It's totally free."
Ngumiti naman ako. "I don't need to explain anything to anyone, not even to you. It's just a fact I would like you to know." Hindi ko hinayaang sirain ng mapanlait niyang tingin ang composure ko.
She wasn't a visitor. Inimbita niya ang sarili niyang pumasok. Hindi ko siya hahayaang insultuhin ako sa sarili kong pamamahay. This is my husband's property, I don't mean to own it, but I have more legality here.
"Look, miss. My husband's not here. He's out of the country---"
"Banging another woman? So typical of him." She smirked.
"And you're desperate. Is that so typical of you?" I raised a brow. I was able to see a violent reaction from that smirking face earlier. "As I was saying, he's not here yet. Kung gusto mong tumahol, sa kanya ka tumahol. 'Wag sa akin. I'm not a part of your dispute."
Itinaas niya ang wine glass sa ere at ngumisi.
"I didn't know what he sees in you," she commented. "You look so cheap. Well, cheap items are in demand these days. Maybe, I shouldn't have been that surprised."
I knew her tactic was to get on my nerves, and yeah, it was getting effective. Nangangati ang aking kamay na supalpalin at kuyumusin ang kanyang bibig. I wasn't trained with word banters to hurt anyone, my fists could shut them up.
"Are you curious about that?" I mimicked her expression. "That's an easy question to answer... what he sees in me is violence personified. Do you want to know a secret? We met in a much bizarre way. I carnapped his car, sold its parts... threatened to kill him. Your choice of words won't help you if I decided to cut your throat and drink your blood."
She stood. Her calm demeanor just burst. "Are you threatening me?"
"Depends if you're threatened. So, am I threatening you?" Tumayo rin ako.
Tapos na akong makipag-usap sa babae. I even extended my manners by serving her some drinks which she enjoyed the red wine. Pinalagpas ko rin ang makulay niyang mga salitang hangad ang insultuhin ako sa sarili kong pamamahay.
"You can leave now. The door is very much open for your departure." I gestured the main door.
"I'm not leaving until Gotham comes back!" she screamed.
"Madali naman akong kausap, p'wede kitang kaladkarin palabas. You only have to do is tell me," seryoso kong saad. "You can have that bottle of wine."
Tinalikuran ko siya upang umakyat sa k'warto naming mag-asawa. Usually, he calls at this time. Marrying Gotham, I anticipated this type of behavior. He is a good-looking billionaire, of course, women would swoon over him.
"I have his child!" Muling sumigaw ang babae, napatigil ako.
Humarap ako sa kanya.
My heart skipped a beat, I was out of breath. It was my turn to look at her from head to toe.
"You're pregnant?" matapang kong tanong sa babae.
I was brave enough to ask the question even if it could shatter my world in an instant.
I married Gotham for convenience. He had something that I needed most. As time went by, I was getting used to his presence as my husband and it was leading to something that was hard to admit.
Pero pumayag ako sa kasal sa isang kondisyon --- I wanted no other woman around. Ayoko sa lahat na ginagago ako, hindi ko iyon palalampasin.
She shook her head.
"He is turning one... I had him a year ago." The woman answered my question.
They dated back two years ago, I wasn't even in the picture when it happened. Nawala ang kaba ko. Gotham didn't cheat on me, the woman was part of his past who happened to have a child with him. Hindi ko na iyon saklaw at hindi ko iyon isusumbat sa kanya.
Ang masama ay kung mayroon siyang ibang kinakalantari habang iniiyot din ako. I wouldn't hinder the child to meet his father. Hindi naman ako ganoon kasama sa bata. I knew how to be fatherless.
"Okay, then, tell him." I shrugged. "The child needs his father."
"Is that it?" Hindi makapaniwala ang ekspresyon niya. "You should have leave Gotham. My son needs his father and you're obstructing it from happening by being in the picture! You're snatching away the family he should have! You should go and leave! He should be with us!"
Tumawa naman ako sa narinig at umiling.
Hindi ko mahanap ang lohika sa sinabi niya. She was spewing nonsense. Wala siyang karapatan kay Gotham, nor having a child with him gives her the right to evict me. Ako ang legal na asawa.
"I'm not hindering your child from seeing his father," saad ko at humakbang papalapit sa kanya.
Namulsa ako. Hindi naglalayo ang aming taas. She's just inch taller because of her heels.
"But you're not entitled to demand from me. Unang - una, you could've that perfect family if you came back sooner and you didn't hide your child away from him. I don't know your reasons, I won't judge you harshly on that. He has no idea. Now, you're demanding me to give up my marriage to give you that happy and perfect family narrative. No, ma'am. Your child could have his father, but you're not replacing me in the picture." I told her firmly.
Sinalubong ko ang intensidad ng kanyang tingin hanggang sa kusa na siya mismo ang umiwas. I wasn't easily intimidated by anyone, not even Gotham, who does she think she is?
I could deny her child's rights, I'm not that heartless. But I wouldn't be intimidated to just leave so they could have the perfect family. I wouldn't be adjusting to accommodate the consequences of her terrible choices before.
"Gotham will be here tomorrow," I informed her. "I will tell him you come by."
She was fuming mad, I could see it in her eyes. Siguro ini-expect niyang ganoon ako kadaling bibitaw sa marriage naming mag-asawa para magparaya sa kanya at sa anak niya.
Ibahin niya ako dahil hindi niya ako basta - bastang matatakot. I wasn't that easily threatened or anything, I can handle and eat threats just fine. Sanay ako sa ganoong kalakaran.
Kinuha niya ang dalang bag sa couch at nag-walk out sa main door. Hinatid siya ng tingin ko. I asked Gotham's men to secure the place.
Nang masiguro kong wala nang babae, umakyat ako upang tingnan ang kapatid ko. He was lying on our bed while talking on the phone. Agad akong ngumiti nang tingnan niya ako.
He was talking to Gotham. Binati pa ako nito sa kabilang linya pero pasimple ko siyang inirapan.
"Umalis na po iyong babae?" tanong ni Russle. I nodded.
"You have a visitor?" Gotham asked.
"Oo, babae mo." I answered coldly.
Ginulo ko naman ang buhok ni Russle, hinayaan ko silang mag-usap na dalawa.
Dumako ako sa banyo upang mag-shower upang magpalamig ng ulo. I wasn't mad, but somehow, I was irritated and jealous by the fact that she had seen my husband's body and did the deed with him. It was an irrational thought, that's why I needed to get rid of it in the shower.
Wala pa ako sa buhay niya ng mga panahong iyon. Today's the relevant time, because I am now in his life.
They were done talking when I got out of the shower. Nang tingnan ko ang aking phone, he was calling me several times. I just sent him a message I was not in the mood to talk, we can resume in the morning.
I want to talk to him in person, not on the video call.
***
Nagising akong mayroong matang nakamasid sa akin. When I opened my eyes, Gotham was already sitting on the couch opposite to my bed watching me. Napabangon ako ng wala sa oras.
Akala ko maya - maya pa ang kanyang dating. Hindi ako nakapaghanda. Wala na rin si Russle sa kama.
"Anong oras ka dumating?" I asked. It was already eight in the morning. "Kumain ka na ba?"
My brother was probably playing. We both have no classes.
"I arrived at dawn."
"Hindi ba mamaya pa ang flight mo?" Inayos ko ang gusot ng kama.
Tumayo siya at pumuwesto sa likuran ko upang kabigin ako sa isang mahigpit na yakap. He rested his head on my shoulder. Naramdaman ko naman ang pagod niya.
"You didn't talk to me yesterday. Did I do something wrong? What happened, sweetheart? I kept thinking about it, I was getting insane," masuyo niyang tanong na may kasamang pangungulila.
Was that the reason why he hurriedly went home... just to talk to me? I bit my lower lip. Bahagya akong na-guilty na hindi ko sinagot ang tawag niya kagabi. But I don't want to talk to him with the irrationality building up inside me.
"Dapat kumain ka muna ng agahan bago tayo mag-usap," saad ko.
Hindi lang breakfast ang kailangan niya. Gotham clearly needs to sleep first before we talk. He just went straight home. Nauna pa siya sa naturang flight niya.
He shook his head. "Please, let's talk."
Inalis ko ang kamay niya sa aking baywang. Iniupo ko siya sa gilid ng kama. I sat next to him.
"Does Celeste Allegra ring a bell to you?" deretso kong tanong.
"Yeah, I remember. What did she do?" His jaw tightened.
"Wala. Kung mayroon man, hindi mo kailangang mag-alala, kaya kong i-handle," wika ko. "You need to talk to her."
"For what?"
Huminga ako nang malalim. Hindi ko alam kung ako ang may karapatang magsabi sa kanya ng totoo. But he's my husband and I am his wife, that's enough to tell him the truth.
"You have a child with her."
Kumunot ang kanyang noo. "Why?"
"I don't know. Ipinasok mo ang titi mo tapos pinutok mo sa loob, ayon nabuntis siya." I told him sarcastically.
Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit pa niya kailangang itanong gayong alam naman niya ang proseso ng pagbuo ng bata.
Tumayo siya sa pagkakaupo at namulsa.
"Are you mad?" mahinahon niyang tanong.
"Iyong totoo? Hindi. Basically, you didn't cheat on me. It just happened that you have a child that we both didn't know. Pero nakakainis kong itatanong mo pa sa akin kung paano kayo nakabuo." Umirap ako sa ere.
"I don't want to do anything with the child." He said firmly.
"Gotham..." I was speechless. "Naririnig mo ba ang sarili mo? Why not? Hindi naman ako galit. Hindi naman magiging masama ang loob ko kung magkaroon ka ng koneksyon sa bata. Hindi naman ganoon kakitid ang utak ko."
"We were fuck buddies before," he stated.
Bahagya namang sumikip ang aking dibdib. I didn't want to hear their sexcapades, but I tried to listen for a sound argument. I reminded myself, it was already part of his past.
"Strictly fucking, no commitment. She agreed. I even made her choose whether she would take pills or I would use condoms. She chose the former... but she didn't take the pills because she wanted to trap me into marriage by using the baby as her bait."
He knew about the kid... it wasn't news to him.
"You knew?" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko. "Why didn't you tell me?"
With that knowledge, I think it would deviate the trajectory of my decisions. Kung alam kong mayroon siyang anak sa ibang babae, siguro hindi kami aabot sa kasalan. I wouldn't want to be tangled in the middle thinking of the possibility that both of them could give each other a chance for the kid's sake.
Humarap siya sa akin. "I wasn't up for marriage or having a kid, I gave her options to abort the baby or she could raise it on her own and I would give her the money sustenance but I wouldn't be part of his or her life."
"You wanted your child to be aborted?" Shocked came across my face.
"Oh, sweetheart, don't look at me like that... like you were judging me. It would hurt me." He looked away. "I killed men. You killed men. Why do we draw the line on an unborn child? He could've been spared by the world's cruelty by not being born. It was just one of the options."
Nagulat ako. But I wasn't judging him, how could I? I was a society's pest.
Kinagat ko ang pang-ibaba kong labi.
If I were asked if I wanted to be born, I would immediately say no. The only reason that made this life bearable was my brother. If it weren't for Russle, I wouldn't want to continue living.
"She told me she wanted to do the abortion, got a huge amount of money and I haven't heard from her since then," giit niya.
Natahimik naman ako.
"Technically, I have no obligation with the child she claims to be mine nor I knew I had a child. She was given a choice, she had decided and took the money she could spend for the rest of her life." He sighed. "I was cautious. I didn't get her pregnant because I was reckless, it was a trap she had set and wasn't consented, I have the right to not accept her bullshit."
Yumuko ako. Hindi ko sinalubong ang kanyang tingin. I was a bit embarrassed... I could fully understand now. But maybe, my heart's a bit bias towards a child.
The room became silent for a moment. Tanging paghinga ko lang ang naririnig ko.
"Paano kung kagaya siya ni Russle? Paano kung kailangan ka niya?" basag ko sa katahimikan.
Gotham didn't reply. Akala ko hindi na siya iimik.
"I don't know, Fili. Let me think about it," I heard a long pause before he continued again. "That was part of my past, I didn't tell it with a purpose of hurting you. I just wanted to come clean. I had choices I regretted in the past, it was one of them because I didn't know I would be meeting you."
I saw his feet moved forward. Napapikit ako nang marinig ang mahinang pagsara ng pinto ng kuwarto naming dalawa.
Nasapo ko ang aking dibdib, napahiga ako sa kama. I admit, I had a set of preconceived opinions about him being the asshole without knowing the whole story.
His side of the story made sense to me... even I would get rid of a child I didn't plan to have or was used to put me in a chokehold. He even gave her the money, and knowing Gotham, it wasn't just a few thousands.
Hindi siya sumunod sa usapan. She still had the baby while using the money given. Maybe, the money was all used up and she was wanting to gain more from him by using the child the way she did before... and I felt like an accomplice allowing it to happen.
Kung tutuusin, tama naman talaga siya. Wala na siyang obligasyon pa sa bata.
Paano naman iyong bata?
Why does it even bother me? Hindi ko naman anak iyon. But I have Russle, and whenever I think about Gotham's child, I think about my brother and how he suffered without functional parents.
Mula sa pinansyal at pag-aaruga, nahirapan akong itaguyod ang kapatid ko ng mag-isa. I don't want to deprive that child of Gotham because I know how capable he is providing support financially... and the love and care he could give.
He does it to us. He does it to Russle. I just know he would love the baby the same way he loves my brother.
Pero hindi ko dapat iyon ipilit kay Gotham. He wasn't responsible to a child he didn't give his consent to make. It was wrong of her to trap him like that.
I think, I messed up.
Hindi na rin ako na-bother na nagtalik sila. I was a liar if I didn't admit I felt a pang of emotion with that irrational thought. I'm still the wife without the baby trap. Ako ang pinakasalan.
Kung sakali mang gustuhin ng asawa kong i-welcome ang anak niya, wala akong problema. It was purely for the child. Panatag na rin ang kalooban ko sa isiping nagkaroon sila ng minsang ugnayan.
Bumuntong hininga ako bago bumangon sa kama. I did my morning routine. Hindi ko napansin si Russle o si Gotham nang bumaba ako patungo sa kusina.
Balak ko pa ring ipagluto ang asawa ko. It wasn't a surprise anymore, but to make peace with him. Dapat pinakain ko muna siya ng agahan bago ang rebelasyon. I sighed, he was exhausted from his trip back.
Napailing ako.
Kailangan kong bumawi man lang sa asawa ko. Kaya naman ipinagluto ko siya ng...
Pancit ala Filantropi.
Pampahaba ng ti... hindi na niya kailangan, mahaba na naman. Pampahaba ng buhay... masamang damo siya, hindi siya madaling mamatay.
Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit sa dami ng putahe, pancit ang napili kong lutuin. Nagprito din ako ng lumpia at manok.
***
Ipinaghain ko ang dalawa nang niluto ko. Hindi ako sigurado kung masarap ang pancit bihon na luto ko, wala naman silang magagawa. Hindi pa kami nag-uusap muli ni Gotham simula kanina.
"Bawal magreklamo kung matabang ang luto ni ate," I warned my brother.
Ngumiti naman siya. "Hindi naman po ako nagrereklamo, ate."
"So, matabang nga ang luto ni ate?" Nagkatitigan kaming dalawa ni Russle.
Nagtakip naman siya ng kamay sa bibig. Pinisil ko ang kanyang pisngi.
Nagsalin ako ng juice para sa kanilang dalawa. I just watched them eat. Nawalan ako ng ganang kumain sa tuwing ako ang nagluluto, bumabalik naman iyon ilang oras matapos kong makapagpahinga.
"Why aren't you eating?" It was the first time I heard him speak to me.
"Wala pa akong gana, maya - maya na." I told him.
Hindi siya nakinig, ipinaghain niya pa rin ako nang makakain. Isinulong niya iyon sa tapat ko ng hindi ako sinusulyapan. Sumubo naman ako ng pailan - ilan.
"How's the food, bunso?" Nakatanggap ako ng isang thumbs up mula sa kapatid ko.
It was good, but not super duper delicious. Nothing special. At least, considering cooking isn't that my forte. Ayos na rin iyon. Ginulo ko naman ang kanyang buhok.
"Panther," One of his men barged into the dining area. Ah, yeah. The animal nickname of Gotham. "Celeste Allegra is outside. Should we let her in?"
"Let her wait until I'm done eating with my family. It's not her home she could come in and out anytime she wants," saad niyang may diin. There was a hint of annoyance with his tone hearing the name.
Agad namang umalis ang tauhan niya sa hapagkainan. "Do you want more?" I asked Gotham trying to clear the awkwardness building up in the air.
Tumango naman siya bilang sagot kaya nilagyan kong muli ng pancit ang kanyang plato. I finished my plate as well.
"Ikaw, bunso? Gusto mo pang pancit?"
He shook his head. Inalalayan ko naman siya sa pag-inom ng juice. Naubos niya ang pagkain sa plato. He was just munching some lumpia while drinking his juice. Once everyone was finished, I cleaned up the plates to wash them.
"You should go and talk to her," Hinawakan ko ang kamay ni Gotham at pinisil iyon. "I'm with you... whatever decision you make. Let's talk later, okay?" Hinalikan ko ang kanyang pisngi.
He nodded and hugged me tightly.
Pinanood ko siyang humakbang palabas ng dining room, samantalang dinala ko naman ang mga hugasan sa kusina. Russle wanted to help me wash the dishes but I told him to play.
Kanina pa siyang hindi mapakali at gustong maglaro. I let him wander around the house. He didn't need to help me with the chores.
"Ate! Ate!" My brother called me.
Pinunasan ko naman ang aking kamay na basa ng tubig matapos kong hugasan ang pinagkainan.
"Anong nangyari?" Natatarantang tanong ko sa urgency ng pagtawag niya.
"Umiiyak 'yong girl na kausap ni kuya bayaw!" pagbabalita niya.
"Ha?!"
"Nakita ko! Nagluhod pa siya, para siyang palabas sa TV!" Nanlalaki ang kanyang mata. "Sisilip ko ulit sila! Spy ako!"
Hindi pa ako nakasagot, tumakbo na siya paalis ng kusina. I shook my head. I was worried for a second. He seemed to be really interested with what was happening. Wala akong ideya sa balak ni Gotham, kung ano man iyon, susuportahan ko siya.
If he wanted to be part of the child's life, I also have to explain it to my brother. He has to know about the baby.
Muntikan pa niyang iuwi iyong bata sa mall. Sigurado akong matutuwa ang kapatid ko dahil magkakaroon siyang kalaro.
After drying the utensils, I put it back in the cupboard.
"Ate..." He was about to cry. "Nahuli nila akong nanonood."
Nasapo ko naman ang aking noo, pinigilan kong matawa. I tried to keep a serious expression on my face.
"Kaya hindi ka dapat nakikinig o nanonood sa usapan ng matatanda, ha? May mga usapang hindi maaari sa bata, 'wag makulit sa susunod, okay? Pa-spy spy ka pa, ha." Pinanggigilan ko ang kanyang pisngi. "Paano ka ba nahuli?"
"Nalaglag po ang laruan ko, tumingin sa akin si kuya bayaw. Nahihiya po ako." He pouted.
"Next time, just don't do it, okay? Pero hindi naman iyon magagalit sa'yo." I assured him and smiled.
It calmed him down.
Sinamahan ko si Russle pabalik ng kanyang room, hindi na namin nadatnan ang nag-uusap sa living room. They were probably done talking.
Bumalik ako sa kwarto namin nang maihatid ko si Russle sa kanyang sariling room. He used it whenever he wanted. Kahit madalas ay humihiling pa rin siyang matulog katabi namin.
"How was the talk?"
Naabutan ko si Gotham sa aming kwarto. He seemed to be waiting for me.
"Are you still mad at me?" may halong lungkot ang tono ng kanyang boses.
"Sino bang may sabing galit ako? Hindi ako galit. It just came as a shocking revelation for me, and I was an ass. I'm sorry, sweetheart." Tumabi ako sa kanya.
"After driving me crazy, you're calling me sweetheart, huh?" Pinaghugpo niya ang aming mga kamay.
I grinned. Nagkibit - balikat ako. It's about knowing how to play my cards. I tried and it worked.
Sumandal ako sa kanyang balikat. "So, what happened?"
"She was full of bullshit," he sighed. "Since we talked, I kept thinking about it. I don't want to do anything with the child, but... you're making me consider. We'll conduct a DNA test, if the child is mine like what she claimed, maybe, I'll try not to be a deadbeat father."
I nodded acknowledging his decision. "What about the custody of the child, have you talked about it?"
"Yes," sagot niya. "I wanted a full custody of the child and for her to sign her rights away, but she didn't agree. She probably thought she'd have more instant cash with child support than a one-time payment."
"Sorry... I understood now where you're coming from." I squeezed his hand.
"She was demanding to live here with the child."
"Hindi na ako nabigla, nakausap ko siya kahapon. She seemed to demand atrocious things out of entitlement." Napailing ako. "But you can relocate them near us, in case you want to see the baby anytime you want. There's a house next to us. Hindi lang ako papayag na kasama ko ang babae sa iisang bubong."
"Sweetheart, as if I'm going to let that happen..." Umikot ang kanyang mata.
Humarap ako sa kanya. Ngayon ko lang napagmasdan ang kabuuan ng kanyang mukha. There were tiny wounds. I knew what business meant for him. Binigyan ko siya ng halik sa bawat maliit na sugat.
We were too occupied with our argument earlier I didn't notice.
"We have to tell Russle... do you know he was spying on you?" I asked, laughing.
"I knew," naiiling niyang sagot, sumabay siya sa pagtawa ko.
"He was about to cry when you saw him. Bakit mo raw pinaiyak iyong babae?" I caressed his face softly.
"I'm not mad, sweetheart. I can't be mad at you two."
Dinampian niya nang masuyong halik ang labi ako. Ilang minutong namayani ang katahimikan sa aming dalawa. Saka ko lang napansin ang maraming shopping bags ng mga pasalubong niya sa amin sa buong kwarto.
"Sweetheart," tawag ko sa atensyon niya. His face became flushed. "Can I request something?"
Gotham nodded.
"I don't want to meet your child until he's old enough to have a conversation. It's not because I dislike him, but I don't him to be confused having two mothers. It would be complicated for him to understand... it might cause his relationship with his own."