I wandered into our newest motel room late that night, jumping when a dim lamp light turned on the second I closed the door.
"Where were you?" Dean asked in a stern voice.
"Newspaper." I held up today's paper in response to him, and tossed it at him. "It was the last one, so be grateful. I had to fight an old beefy man to get it." I sat in a chair at the round table.
Dean set aside the newspaper without looking at it, his gaze locked on mine. "Where'd you go?"
"What do you mean? Nowhere." I answered.
"Don't think that I haven't noticed you going on late-night strolls while you think Sam and I are asleep." Dean said. "Again. Where'd you go? The full truth, this time."
I frowned at him. "I went to see Lisa."
Dean shot up immediately and walked over to me. "What?"
"Relax. I didn't kill her, or her kid, if that's what you're thinking. She's cute." I said, "I see why you like her."
"How'd you find out—"
"You sleep talk about cases." I interrupted. "Normally, I'd think it's cute, but you also sleep talk about your hookups. It's not pleasant."
"Do me a favor and stop butting into my personal life. I don't want you in it. You're here for one purpose, and one purpose only." he snapped.
"Yeah? What's that?" I got up and walked to him, craning my neck back to look at his 6'1 height—with me reaching a full height of 5'3.
"You know damn well what it is."
"Pretend I'm stupid." I crossed my arms.
"To stop the apocalypse. You're the daughter of Crowley. You have powers that haven't been fully unlocked. We need them."
"And you think you're going to be the one to unlock 'em? My own father couldn't. What makes you think you're the lucky one?"
"Guess you'll find out."
========
Wayne Whitaker held up a silver USB recorder. "I'm here because I believe that Elwood Indiana has become a center of extraterrestrial activity. I have personally recorded dozens of eyewitness accounts, strange lights in the sky, mysterious presences attempting contact. We are right in the middle of what we in the field like to call a "UFO flap," and I am as happy as a pig in shoes."
"Okay. Thank you, Mr. Whitaker." I gave a half-hearted smile and walked back to where the boys were talking to the Sheriff.
"I can guarantee you that this has nothing to do with UFO's, little green men. Nothing extraterrestrial whatsoever." the Sheriff said.
A woman came up beside the Sheriff. "Of course it's not UFO's. It's fairies."
Dean looked at her oddly. "Fairies. Okay. Well, thank you for your input."
"What? Flying saucers not insane enough for you?" I asked.
Dean smacked my arm, and Sam smacked Dean in response.
"What newspaper did you say you worked for?" the old woman asked us.
"Okay, if you want to add glitter to that glue you're sniffing, that's fine, but don't dump your whackadoo all over us. We'd rather not step in it." Sam said, obviously not believing this crap either.
"Okay, we're done." Dean grabbed onto our arms and pulled us away from the lady.
"What?" Sam said to his brother.
"What? You gotta ask? Right, yes, you do have to ask." Dean sighed.
"Look, I'm sorry, but this is all a big joke, right, and we're not actually taking this UFO crap seriously?" Sam said, looking over at me.
"Not a one." I shook my head.
"No, man. ET is made of rubber. Everybody knows that. But there are four legitimate vanishings in this town. Something's going on. And Sam? By the way, it's not the lady's fault that she took the brown acid." Dean snapped.
"Yeah! So?" I asked.
Dean looked at me and Sam. "Empathy, guys. Empathy. I mean, the old Sam would have given her some, some wussified, dew-eyed crap. At least with Bellamy's hatred for human, I get it!"
Sam rolled his eyes. "Old Sam had a soul—was a soul. Whatever."
"Right! Yes, and, and, but you don't—aren't. Whatever." Dean said.
"Right." Sam nodded.
"Right. You don't care." Dean echoed.
"Well—"
"You have to care!" Dean said loudly.
"About what, exactly?" Sam asked.
"About everything, man! About being human at least." Dean said.
"Look, Dean. You obviously care. A lot. And that's great. But I can't care about what—I can't care about it, you know? What do you want me to do, fake it?" Sam said.
Dean nodded. "Yes. Absolutely. Fake it. Fake it till you make it."
Sam sighed. "What happened to you wanting me to be all honest?"
"Hey, you wanna be a real boy, Pinnochio, you gotta act the part." Dean said.
"I was faking it Dean! Ever since we got back on the road together, I was picking every freaking word. It's exhausting." Sam snapped.
"Okay. All Right. But until we get you back on the soul train, I'll be your conscience, okay?" Dean said.
"So you're saying you'll be my... Jiminy Cricket." Sam said.
"Shut up. But yeah, you freaking puppet. That's exactly what I'm saying." Dean nodded, letting go of our arms and the three of us getting into the Impala.
We drove to one of the victim's fathers store: Brennan's Watchworks.
"Mr. Brennan?" Dean said as we walked in and saw the old man.
"Mmm?" Mr. Brennan looked up at us.
"We're with The Mirror. We would like to ask you—" Sam started.
Mr. Brennan scoffed. "What? Is this about Patrick? Patrick's gone."
"Missing. Right. Yes, that's what we want to talk to you about." I nodded. "Now, your son was the first to disappear."
He nodded. "First to be taken."
"Taken." I echoed.
"Get out! Out!" Mr. Brennan stood up and walked past us towards the front door.
"Mr. Brennan, who do you believe took your son?" Dean asked.
He opened the door for us. "You people can't help me. My boy is never coming back."
"You sound awfully sure." Sam said.
"Excuse me?" Mr. Brennan said.
"Like you know something you're not talking about." I added.
"Okay. All right." Dean put a hand over my mouth to stop me from talking. "That's enough out of you."
I glared at him, pushing his hand away.
"You know what they say. 72 hours. After that, the odds of finding a missing person drop to nothing, right?" Mr. Brennan said.
Dean shrugged. "Well, every case is different."
"It's been weeks." he snapped.
Dean took out a card, handing it to the old man. "All right. Listen. Call us if anything comes to mind."
"What do you think?" Sam asked once we had left the shop.
"I think he's hiding something. Why don't you two stay and watch Watchmaker and see what happens when the sun goes down, and I'll go check out the crop circles."
"Okey dokey." I nodded.
Dean looked at us—me, specifically. "But do NOT engage with, maim or in any way kill Brennan. In fact, I don't want either you making any judgment calls whatsoever. Anything happens, call me."
"You know, Jiminy, I was on my own for a whole year. I did fine without you." Sam said.
"Yeah. And I don't take orders from a human when I can easily flambé your bones right now." I added.
"Yeah yeah." Dean waved me off and looked at Sam. "I don't want to know your definition of fine."
========
"What?" Dean asked over the phone when I called him hours later as Sam and I were at a bar.
"The only thing this guy is up to is alcoholism." I said simply.
"Good."
"You know, maybe Sam and I should go talk to him again. I mean, you're the one who said he's hiding something." I suggested.
"Shh! Shh!" Dean shushed me.
"What? You see something?" I asked, looking at Sam from across the table as he was listening as best he could.
"Hang on a second. Holy...UFO! UFO!!"
"Stop yelling. You're breaking up. I didn't catch that last part." I said.
"Close encounter! Close encounter!"
"Close encounter! What kind? First? Second?" Sam took the phone from me and held it up to his ear.
"They're after me!" Dean shouted faintly.
"Third kind already? You better run, man. I think the fourth kind is a butt thing." Sam said.
"Empathy, Sam! Empathy!" Dean shouted.
"They still after you?" Sam asked after a while.
"Come on!" Dean groaned.
"Dean? Are you there? What happened? Dean?" Sam asked, then hung up the phone, looking at me.
"They take him?" I asked.
He nodded. "I think so—thanks." he smiled at a waitress as she handed us our drinks.
"So, what's the play?" I asked as I took a drink from my beer.
"Um...go to the cornfield, I guess." Sam said.
We finished our drinks and headed out into a rental car, getting in and driving down to the cornfield where Dean was looking; arriving sometime during the night.
"I'm gonna call him." I dialed his number and heard the ringing of his phone a few feet away; we followed the ringing until it grew louder, and I picked up his phone from the ground, turning the phone off.
"Now what?" Sam asked.
"Wasn't there this UFO enthusiasts group?" I wondered.
"Yeah. Follow me." Sam took Dean's phone from me and I followed him.
The UFO enthusiast camp was just a bunch of RV's clustered together with people chattering amongst themselves.
"So, they're real. UFO's." Sam said as we walked up to Wayne Whitaker.
"Like I said before, the truth is out there." Wayne nodded.
"Okay, you're the expert. How do we get them?" Sam asked.
"Come again?" Wayne asked.
"You hunt ET's, right? I need to know how to get them." Sam repeated.
Wayne scoffed. "You and me both."
"This is it?" I asked as Wayne handed me a small pile of staples pages.
Wayne nodded. "Well, I'd say that 30 years of eyewitness accounts speak for themselves as incontrovertible proof—"
Sam scoffed. "Yeah, right. My brother was abducted so I'm pretty good on the whole proof part."
A redhead came up beside us, joining the conversation. "Your guys' brother was abducted?"
"He's not my brother. Just some dude. He's his brother." I pointed to Sam
"Yeah." Sam nodded, getting a good look at the redhead.
"Oh my God." she gasped softly.
"It's fine. I mean, I've had time to adjust." Sam said.
"Did it happen when you were kids?" she asked.
Sam shook his head. "No, like, half an hour ago." He looked at Wayne. "So, you've been hunting UFO's for over three decades and you basically have no concrete data and zero workable leads. Have you considered the possibility that you suck at hunting UFO's?"
"I'd like to help. If I can." the redhead said with a big smile.
I looked over at Sam and saw him smiling at the redhead.
========
I sat out on the porch of the motel room, sitting on the swinging bench hanging from the ceiling; drinking another beer as I looked out at the surprisingly-starry night sky and trying to drown out the fact that I knew Sam was having a little make-out session with the redhead in our motel room.
"Hey,"
I looked to my left and saw Dean walking over to me. "Oh. Hey. You finally get out of the UFO clutches?" I asked.
"Oddly, yeah." he sat down next to me on the swinging bench. "Have you just been sitting out here for entire time I was gone?"
"No. I Just don't wanna be in the motel room at the moment." I took a drink from the bottle and handed it to him.
He took a large gulp of it and swallowed, handing it back to me. "Wasn't expecting to see you out here."
"Outside? Looking at the night sky?" I asked.
He nodded. "You always striked me as a 'burn it all down' kind of girl."
I took another drink before handing it back to him, letting him finish it off. "Hell doesn't really have night sky, and I was locked in an asylum for five years. So, I come out here to relax sometimes."
He set the bottle down on the porch. "You know, you're not that bad. Sometimes."
"Thanks for the compliment, Winchester." I looked at him and smiled softly when I caught him smiling back at me.
"Should we head inside?" Dean stood up.
"Sure. Just a warning. Sam's having a little moment with the female UFO reporter chick. You know. The cute redhead?" I opened the motel door and we walked in.
"Bianca, go—Dean!" Sam gasped, and the redhead looked at us.
"What the hell?" Dean said.
The redhead looked at Dean, the. Sam. "Oh that's Dean! Sam, they brought your brother back." she got up off the bed and started putting on her clothes, and Sam did the same. "Okay. It's all right, Sam. I so totally understand that you need time as a family. But it's just—" she looked at Dean with a smile. "what were they like?"
Dean opened the door for her, unamused. "They were grabby, incandescent douche bags. Good night."
"Too soon... ? Okay." the redhead left the motel room, and Dean closed the door behind her before turning to Sam.
"You're upset." Sam noticed.
"I was abducted. And you were banging Patchouli." Dean snapped.
"I didn't think she smelled that bad." Sam said.
"I was abducted by aliens!" Dean repeated.
"Bianca and I were looking into it." Sam defended.
Dean scoffed. "Looking into it! I was gone for, like, an hour."
"An hour—" Sam corrected.
"And most of that was walking back to town!" Dean said.
"Dean, I think your watch is off. You've been gone all night." I said.
Dean looked at me oddly. "What are you talking about? No I haven't."
"Yeah, see?" I showed him my phone that had the time.
"Four a.m.?" Dean asked, surprised.
Sam nodded. "Yeah! UFO time slip. That actually falls in line with a lot of abduction stories."
"Falls in line..." Dean echoed.
Sam nodded again. "Yeah."
"Nothing's falling in line." Dean said.
"Come on. Talk to me. What happened?" Sam asked as he sat on the motel bed.
"Well, uh, there was this...God help me, Sam, there was this bright white light!" Dean said as he sat on the motel bed next to his brother.
"It's okay." Sam awkwardly patted Dean's leg. "Safe room."
Dean glanced at me, then looked back at his brother. "And then suddenly, I was, uh, I was in a different place. And there were these beings, and they were too bright to look at, but I could feel them pulling me towards this sort of table—"
"Probing table!" Sam interrupted.
"God! Don't say that out loud!" Dean said.
"Right. So what did you do?" Sam said.
"I went crazy. I started hacking and slashing and firing. They actually seemed surprised. I don't think anybody's ever done that before. Yeah. I had a close encounter, Sam, and I won." Dean finished.
"You should take a shower." I said as I leaned against the wall.
Dean nodded, standing up. "I should take a shower. I'm gonna, I'm gonna take a shower now." he said, and walked away.
========
"So, on top of all the demons and the angels and the ghosts and the skinwalkers, it turns out that there's—so if aliens are actually real, what's next? Hobbits? Seriously." Dean asked as we all sat in a booth in a diner.
"Ooh. Maybe Wookiee or Ewoks?" I added as I took one of Dean's fries.
Dean frowned at Sam. "You just gave her the silent how ya doin'."
"What?" Sam asked.
"Our reality's collapsing around us, and you're trying to pick up our waitress?" Dean said as our waitress walked away.
"Yeah. Okay. Look. Brings up a question. So, say you got a soul and you're on a case, and your brother gets abducted by aliens—" Sam said.
"Yeah, then you do everything you can to get him back." Dean interrupted angrily.
"Right! You do, but, what about when there are no more leads for the night? Are you supposed to just sit there in the dark and suffer, even when there's nothing that can be done at that moment?" Sam questioned.
"YES!" Dean said.
"What?" Sam asked.
"Yes, you sit in the dark and feel the loss." Dean repeated.
"Absolutely! But couldn't I just do all that and have sex with the hippie chick?" Sam asked.
"No!" Dean shook his head.
"It'd be in the dark." Sam said.
Dean sighed. "No you couldn't because you would be suffering, and you can't just turn that off for the night."
Our waitress came up to our table and took our empty plates. "Thanks, guys." she winked at Sam, and walked away.
I looked at Sam, seeing his smile. "Sam! Snap out of it. No sex with the waitress."
"Why not?" Sam asked.
"Because if you had a soul, your soul wouldn't let you." Dean added.
"So you're saying having a soul equals suffering." Sam said.
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying." Dean nodded.
"Like, the million times you almost called Lisa. So you're saying suffering is a good thing." Sam said.
"I'm saying it's the only game in town." Dean replied.
"Okay! So how do we deal with the little green men?" Sam wondered.
"Research. We've got about a century of UFO lore to catch up on, and there's no time for—What's up with that guy?" Dean pointed to the window where a cop was.
"Who?" Sam asked as we all stood up.
"The guy by the window giving me the stink eye." Dean answered.
"You mean the cop?" I asked.
"No, not the cop! The guy! He's right—oh now he's gone!" Dean said.
"Who's gone?" Sam asked.
"Yeah. Are you okay? Was there something in your coffee?" I asked.
"Can we please just get out of here before I hit you two?" Dean asked.
"Okay! Geez." Sam said, and the three of us headed out of the diner and into the Impala.
"You head to the library. Bellamy and I will head back to the motel and do some research on lore about this thing." Dean said.
========
"Hey," I walked into the motel room with tow slices of apple pie in clear containers, setting one down in front of him and sitting across from him. "Figured after your whole crazy day at the diner, you could use some."
"Nice." Dean opened up the container and took a fork from me as I ate my own slice.
"You hear anything from Sam?" I asked him after a while of silence, the only thing being heard was David Bowie songs on the radio by the bed.
"Let me call him." Dean set is fork down and got out his phone, putting it between us on the table so we could hear. "Hey,"
"Library's closing up soon. I'm almost done."
"You find anything?" I asked.
"Yeah. Way too much. Everyone on the planet believes in UFO's, and they will not stop writing books about it."
"Yeah, well at least books have punctuation. All right, keep digging and we'll see what you got when you get back." Dean said, and hung up the phone. "Oh no. Not again."
"What? Something the matter?" I asked Dean as I saw him stand up, still eating my pie; startling when the door opened suddenly and Dean went flying.
I watched in confusion, looking around, but seeing no one in the room besides the two of us. "Hey—"
"Nipples?" Dean looked over at the bed and then went flying again, crashing into me as I stood up. "BITCH!"
"Hey!"
"Not you!" Dean snapped, pointing to thin air, running to the microwave and opening it, shutting it and turning it on. "Ha ha. HA-HAA!!"
Ding! Went the microwave.
I walked over to him as Sam barged through the door. "Do we need to get you to a doctor?"
"No. Look!" he opened up the microwave.
"See what?" Sam wondered.
"See what? See the blood. See all the blechh." Dean said with a frantic mail of his arms.
"Sorry, man. I'm not seeing it." Sam said.
"Yeah. Me neither." I added.
"You don't see the ick? It's right there." Dena pointed to the middle of the clean microwave.
"Okay, let's go with you see it and we don't. What the hell was it?" Sam asked.
"It was a, a little...naked lady, okay?" Dean said.
"It was a what?" Sam asked.
"It was a—it was a little, glowing, hot naked lady. With nipples. And she hit me." Dean said.
"All I saw was you flying in the air and shouting at nothing." I said.
"I'm not supposed to laugh, right? Right. Okay. Sure. Um. So, shot in the dark here, but did this little lady have wings?" Sam asked.
"What the hell made you say that?" Dean asked.
"She did, didn't she?" Sam said.
"Yeah, but how did, how'd y—"
"One of the fringier theories I came across. It's actually what crazy crystal lady was yammering about. What if these abductions have nothing to do with UFO's?" Sam said.
"What?" Dean asked.
"Okay, say these encounters have been going on for centuries, not with extraterrestrials but with ultra-terrestrials. People nowadays say "space aliens "or whatever, but they used to call them—" he walked over to the computer and typed in something, turning it around so we could see.
"Smurfs." I said.
"Fairies." Sam corrected.
"Fairies? Come on!" Dean groaned.
Sam sighed. "Dean, there's a straight line between ET's and fairies. Glowing lights, abductions. It's all the same UFO stuff, just under a different skin."
"You seriously think that the secret with UFO's is—"
"Hey, you're the one who pizza-rolled Tinkerbell. I'm just doing the math. But this is good. This is a lead." Sam said.
"A lead where?" I asked.
========
"Fairies. Sprites and spriggens. Bogarts and brownies. The little people have many names." Marion said as she served us tea in tiny cups, setting a plate of biscuits on the table.
Dean pointed next to the old lady, where a mini figurine of a fairy sat. "Well, that's, uh, that's her. That's the little—"
I elbowed his side to get him to stop while he was ahead.
Dean cleared his throat. "Anyway, I, uh, I get that tinkerbells are fairies, but what about the tiny Santa Claus and the troll and the—"
Marion chuckled. "That's a garden gnome, and that's a large goblin, and—"
"But they're all fairies?" Dean asked.
Marion nodded. "Yes. Faery comes in many shapes and sizes. Magical, mischievous beings from the realm next door."
"The fairy realm." Dean said.
She nodded. "Mm-hmmm."
"So it's like another dimension?" I wondered.
"Another reality! Yes. Only people who have been there and returned to our world can see the Faery here."
"Right. Umm, why are the fairies abducting people?" Dean asked.
"Mmm. There is much theory and little fact. We know they only take firstborn sons, just like Rumplestiltskin did. Personally, I think they're taken to Avalon to service Oberon, the King of the Faery." Marion said.
"Dean? Did you service Oberon, King of the Fairies?" Sam asked.
"Marion. Um. Let's say fairies are real, okay? What can we do about them?" I asked.
"Sorry?" Marion looked at me.
"How can we....." Dean struggled to find the right words. "Fight them?"
Marion looked expressly confused by that. "Interact with them."
Dean nodded. "Yes, yes. Forcefully interact."
Marion smiled. "Well, if you want to win a faery's favor, leave a bowl of fresh cream. They love cream."
"Okay! And, and, more forcefully?" Dean pressed.
"Ohhh. All Faery hate iron, and the dark Faery burn when touched with silver. What else. Oh! You can spill sugar or salt in front of them. No matter how powerful, the Faery must stoop to count each grain." Marion explained.
Dean smiled. "Well, allrighty. That's—wow! A lot to absorb. Thank you."
"Oh, oh, stay! Finish your tea." Marion said.
"I gotta say I, I love the feel—it's uhh, it's..." Dean said as he looked around the room, holding his teacup.
"It's like Sedona, Arizona, crapped in here." Sam whispered as he sniffed the tea.
"Pewteriffic! Is what it is." Dean said. "Pewteriffic." he said with a fake laugh as Marion laughed.
I looked at either of the two boys sitting beside me, seeing them sniff their teas. "Uh, Marion, could you get us a bag for the biscuits?"
"Of course, dear!" she got up and walked away.
"Okay. Teas." I set my cup down and took both the teas from the brothers, draining them with a shudder before handing them back to them, finishing my own.
"Here you are!" Marion came back to us with a zip-lock bag, putting a few biscuits in it before sealing it up and handing it to me.
"Thank you, ma'am. We'd better get going." Dean said, gently patting my back as I coughed lightly.
"Are you okay?" Marion asked me.
"Perfect." I nodded, giving her a thumbs up.
"We'd better get going." Dean repeated, and the three of us headed outside, walking down the street.
"That tasted like a goblin pissed in the cup." I said with a full-body shudder.
"You're my new hero. Thanks for that." Sam said, patting me on the back and smiling as we walked down the street to where the Impala was parked a few stores down.
"God, is it on me? I feel like I've got the crazy on me." Dean said as he walked ahead of us.
"No. You did sit in some glitter, though." Sam said, and I saw silver glitter on his jeans.
Dean looked behind him and sighed when he saw the glitter, brushing it off his pants. "Makes me want to believe in UFO's again."
"Doesn't really give us the next move, I grant you that. We can always put the call out to Bobby." Sam said.
"Hey. I'll be damned. Isn't that the watch guy?" Dean said as he pointed to where Brennan was buying cream.
"Huh. They love cream." Sam said, and the three of us watched him carry the cream into the store.
"All right you stick with half and half, and Bellamy and I are going to check out his store. And no hippie chicks!" Dean said, and the two of us headed to the store as Brennan walked out again, locking the front door.
"Back door." I gestured Dean into an alley and the two of us found the back door to the watch shop.
Dean picked the lock and held the door open for me. "After you."
I walked in and looked around the store, Dean coming in behind me and closing the door, getting out an iron knife.
"Come on." Dean gently tapped my elbow and I followed him down a hall, hearing faint clanging, and he opened the door a little so the both of us could see fairies.
"Woah. Wait—why can I see them?" I asked. "I wasn't abducted."
"My guess? They're not glamouring themselves. They're well-hidden in this place, so there's no need to hide themselves." Dean whispered, and we softly closed the door as we went back out; heading out of the store.
Dean got out his phone. "Sam,"
"Yeah?"
"Freaking full of Keeblers over here, man. Just full of 'em." Dean said.
"What?"
"It's like the story with the shoe guy and all the elves. Hey, you think Brennan made a deal with a bunch of fairies?" Dean said.
"Lemme get back to you." Sam said, and hung up the phone."
"Dude hung up on me." Dean put his phone away and we started down the sidewalk, and Dean held out an arm to stop me. "Turn around. Go. Go, go!"
"What is it?" I asked as we turned around, walking hurriedly down the sidewalk.
"I think it's what Marion called a Redcap." Dean answered in a low voice. "Though here." he gestured me into an alley, and we ducked behind a building just outside the alley.
Dean tackled a man to the ground just outside the alley. "Wha—? Help! Help!"
"Little fairy! What do you want, you fairy? Huh? Huh? Fairy!!" Dean shouted, struggling.
"Daddy!!" a little girl screamed, looking at the two men in terror.
"Oh God no." Dean got up and the man scrambled away. "Haha! I'm just kidding!" he said, walking back to stand beside me.
Two policemen ran over to us and grabbed onto us, cuffing us.
"Hey! What'd I do?" I asked as the man cuffed me.
I looked up and saw Sam standing there with Mr. Brennan.
"Dean!! Bianca! Hey! What happened?" Sam shouted.
"Sam....hey!" Dean looked up at his brother.
"What am I supposed to do?" Sam asked.
"Fight the fairies. You fight those fairies. FIGHT THE FAIRIES!!" Dean shouted as we were shoved in the back of the police car.
========
"I'm just trying to understand exactly what kind of hate crime this even was." the sheriff said as he stood by our cell.
"It wasn't a hate crime." Dean answered from where he sat next to me on the stone bench.
"I mean, if this gentleman were a full-sized homosexual, would that be okay with you?" the sheriff asked.
Dean sighed. "I don't hate any size person, or any size...gay...guy."
"He's not gay as it happens. But! He is the district attorney for Tipton County. Runs a tight ship, tell you what."
"I'd say he's done so well for himself, considering his...considering these tough economic times." Dean said.
"Son, you are all kinds of messed up." he said, and left the cell block.
Dean looked at me. "I'm sorry I got you arrested."
"It's fine. I can just bust out if I wanted." I looked down at my cuffed wrists and the metal turned a bright orange-red before snapping off and falling to the ground.
"Wow." Dean looked impressed at the chunks of sizzling metal on the floor.
"Your turn." I put a hand around the metal of Dean's cuffs and they fell to the ground in a pile of melting metal.
"Think you can bust us outta here?" Dean asked as we stood up.
"I would, but I don't particularly want to be a fugitive." I answered as I walked up to the iron gates. "How do you think Sam's doing with the whole 'fairy fight' thing?"
"Guess we'll find out." Dean sat back down on the bench. "Might as well get comfortable. We might be here for a while."
========
"So. Here's to the tiniest DA. At least they're dropping the charges." Dean said as the three of us sat in chairs by the Impala, looking at the sun rise over the hills.
"Glad they did. I could not stand being Locke duo in a cell with you for days on end." I said as I tapped the neck of my bottle against Dean's.
"You say that now. But every woman eventually can't resist my charm." Dean winked.
"Sure. Keep telling yourself that." I said with a smile at him.
"I was wondering something." Dean said as he looked at Sam.
"Yeah?" Sam looked at him.
"You think Lucky Charms really could have, you know, returned soul to sender?" Dean wondered.
"Come on. It's crazy to think. He did talk a good game though." Sam said.
"You said no. Why?" Dean asked.
Sam shrugged. "It was a deal. When's a deal ever been a good thing?"
"I'm just trying to figure out how it works in there." Dean said.
"Dude, I do still have all my brain cells. If anything, my brain works better now." Sam said.
Dean shrugged. "Just making sure that's where your head's at. That you're not having second thoughts about getting your soul back."
"Oh." Sam went.
"You're not, are you?" Dean asked.
"No." Sam shook his head.