─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
chapter 6: family ties
content warnings: descriptions of blood and feeding
eren's pov:
i ascended the basement stairs with urgency, rubbing the temple on the right side of my head. the blood awakened my hunger; i have to get out of here.
i barely registered the cold air wrapping about my body. barely registered jean calling after me. the world went numb around me; blurry vision, muffled hearing. my nose fed me my surroundings; desperately trying to find more blood. and it did.
whipping my body around, i spot jean, "dude what the fuck!" his shout drags my other senses back to the surface. my fill wasn't met, but i could focus again. my attention didn't stay on him for long; choosing to focus on the ring coming from my phone. the number calling had no contact, but i knew who it was. fuck me. i groaned at the call, shutting my eyes to try and escape reality. another ping forced my eyes to open.
562-xxx-xxxx:
shiganshina. now.
"-ou even listening?" looking back up at jean, he's even more frustrated than before. he walked a few paces closer, but he was smart enough to keep his distance. "no," i deadpan, "but i have to go. now," i tried to explain the urgency with my tone but his expression showed he didn't understand. jean never did.
"you can't seriously be leaving again," jean chastised me. i didn't know what to say to him. even in the dark; his furious demeanor burned. his fists clenched. hard. i could hear the rub of his skin from my place on the gravel pathway. "what's the point of coming back," he had a harder time disguising the hurt. his tone wavered, and and his face twisted in anguish. his features contorted together, teeth baring.
"it's zeke" his eyes blew wide at the mention of his name. i could see the past reflecting within them. memories flash across my own mind. it would forever be the first memory i think of when his name echos in my skull. i hated it. "i can't ignore him. you know better than anyone," i didn't want to bring it up. i really didn't, but jean just had to let me go.
he shook his head, "i can't believe this is happening again." his hands raised, beginning to cover his ears. his features held agony; everything scrunched up and furrowed. i walked the distance between us, "jean," i said, lightly removing his hands. "it won't be long. last time was different," i tried to hide the shiver that came down my spine at the thought.
i held my hand out; palm open. jean didn't hesitate to grip it, pulling me in for a half hug. "better not be," he scoffed; bravado returning to his tone. i knew my absence hurt him the worst out of everyone. i could say it over and over, but he wouldn't understand how little choice i have in everything. he was still missing most of the pieces. "just-" i sighed, lightly shaking my head, "tell mikasa and armin not to worry. i can't leave them hanging. not again," it was my turn to clench my fists at the reminder of the memory.
'armin and mikasa really hurt when you weren't here,' her voice taunted me inside my head; reverberating through my skull. my hand lifted to my temples, trying to massage it out.
"everyone else?" jean asked; but her name hung in the air. "they'll be fine," my voice pulled with tension. "say i went to refill our alc supply," and with that i turned, not bearing to look at jean anymore. why'd he always have to make leaving so hard? dumbass.
i knew it wasn't jean's fault. i wouldn't have to leave again if i just stayed in shiganshina. i shouldn't have come back, that was the truth. my absence would be easier for everyone to deal with if it was permanent. y/n above everyone. she had no clue how long i've stayed away; i should've kept trying. i believed i could live like i had before; but i was wrong. every day i seemed to slip further and further away from the reality of my life. in my time at jean's lakehouse, i seemed to forget it intrely. what i am.
it made me weak. being around my friends again; around her, it drew out everything i had been trying to spuress for the past year. and i was about to pay the price for it. i shouldn't have even gone back. i continued to repeat it, mentally kicking myself.
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"ah, baby brother! welcome back!" zeke's voice boomed throughout the entryway. controlling my features; i fixed any lingering emotion. setting my eyes back to the steel they were before i left for sina. i didn't respond; i didn't need to. zeke was the doormat to what i actually answered to. he laughed at my reaction. "well don't you look like shit. not enough fodder at your little campus?"
his smile was wicked, teeth stained red from the fresh feed. "zelda!" he summoned. turning the corner was a blonde with her breasts exposed. the thong on her lower half barely covered her there, either. i fought the urge to look away, just play your part, and then you can leave. "come on, ere, indulge!" his eyes became slits and they darkened at the mere thought of blood.
i picked up the blade on the entryway table. the woman stalked over to me, moving her hair to expose her mangled neck. three fresh cuts line her neck. she can't lose any more blood, i shoved the panic deep down; remaining cold on the outside, "this ones drained."
the woman stood still before me, awaiting zeke's response. none came, he simply motioned to her neck; telling me i had no other option. him and his stupid tests. i pushed the blade into her neck, making a fourth cut. it wasn't as deep as the others, but with how little blood she had left, it didn't matter anyway. i sunk my mouth onto her neck, careful not to scrape my now present fangs into her flesh.
energy shot through my body as soon as the blood hit my mouth. i gripped tighter, uncontrolled in my actions. the woman responded by arching her back, moaning into me. the sound repulsed me so much i was tempted to pull away. but zeke's impending disapproval kept my mouth trained on her neck, sucking up the little blood she had.
a few moments later, i had my fill, vision becoming clear again after raising my head up. i tossed the girl aside in a fashion zeke could only be proud of and his smile proved me right. "don't you feel so much better?" he taunted.
i rolled my eyes to distract zeke from any composure that might've slipped. "dad wants to see me?" i assumed; he always does. he kept quiet, leading me away toward the office. the wooden doors opened before us, hauled by two more exposed women. i kept my eyes on grisha; not daring to look at the smashed picture of mom i knew was to my left.
"how's school, boy," his voice was just like zeke's. they spoke like they had any emotions left. it's what pulled people in, alluring them. but not me. i knew better than to fall for it; i spent an entire year learning how vicious they really were. "good," i kept it vague.
"he's starving over there," zeke cut in. fucker. i kept my face still, not letting the twitch of anger anywhere near my features. grisha looked at me expectantly. "i can't have naked women strolling around everywhere." i phrased it more of a question, challenging their authority. my eyes were dead set on grisha. any slight waver would be a sign of weakness, prolonging my stay here. that couldn't happen, i was determined.
grisha laughed coldly, holding my gaze, "i guess you can't." he sighed, loudly and dramatically. "i remember my own college days, but i was still human," a smile tugged on his lips; i knew he was tempting a rise out of me. "it's where i met your mother," another sigh. don't feed into it. dont. dont dont. dont. holding my breath, my muscles tightened with the natural instinct to fight back. they almost buckled at the mention of mom, but i was stronger than i was a year ago.
he was visibly displeased at my non-reaction. "well, that's all! scurry back to town little vampire," grisha's eyes became black in hunger. one of the veins walked to him, spreading their legs to straddle him. i turned to face the door again, clenching my fist in an attempt to bury back a cringe to the word. vampire. but he didn't say it to anger me; it was to remind me.
zeke walked close behind, as if i was on a leash. i swiftly made my way back to the entryway. about to turn the knob to freedom, zeke spoke, "maybe i'll pay you a visit next time. such a long drive for you." ignoring him, i didn't even turn to look at his face. the threat hung loudly between us.
walking out, i took a deep breath of the outside air. it relinquished the thick smell of blood this house was stained with. it was still dark out. time moved differently in that house. it felt like i spent days there, but it couldn't have been more than half an hour.
on the way to the car, my mind became clearer; remembering the life i pushed to the corners of my mind before coming here. right. what was i going to do about that? i asked myself; remembering the thick scent around y/n.
blood wasn't all that my sense of smell was sensitive to. it was emotion. happiness, sadness, anger, it all courses through their blood. it's difficult to pick up on; unless the feeling is strong enough. then, it radiates off that person; prickling my nose and overwhelming the temptation of blood. the scent y/n carried was full of malice. it wasn't from her; but it was strong enough to stay on her clothes.
it faded entirely at the lakehouse. if i wasn't certain who i had to go after before, i was now.
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looking out my apartment window, i leaned on the sill. the pink and orange clouds in the sky were turning to blue; signaling the start of a new day. my body was exhausted, despite being freshly fed. my skin and face were fuller as a result of someone else's blood flowing through my body. nasty, i cringed, thinking about it too much.
i knew there was a call i had to make. sighing, i picked up my phone to dial jean. he picked up almost immediately, just after a few rings. jean stayed silent; waiting for me to break the silene, "i'm back at my apartment."
"tch," i knew he was shaking his head over the phone. "i'll come by later," he answered my unsaid question that hung between us.
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it was evening when he arrived; still smelling like cedar wood and fire. the scent triggered memories from the days before. i yearned to go back; to live a normal life with them. but it was far from possible. i had to stop pretending i was still one of them.
jean looked around the apartment; assessing how it might've been different from his last visit a few weeks ago. his eyes were relieved i was actually here, but his demeanor changed quickly. he drew his features in, disappointed almost. "y/n's her, huh" he said. he didn't need to ask it; he already knew. i'm surprised it took him so long to figure it out.
"yeah," i looked away from his gaze. "dumbass! why would you get involved with her!" he shouted, exuberant. but he wasn't angry, just surprised? he shook his head at his comment.
i scoffed, "it's hard not to when she's cozy with you. it couldn't be avoided." looking back at him, his eyes had gone dark. like my comment made him feel responsible for the situation. he sighed, making his way to the couch and sitting in the same spot she had just a few days before, "i wish you told me." he shot me a glare that scrutinized me. he was talking about more than just y/n now.
rubbing his hands against his forehead he spoke, "i think she knows something's up. she looked like you did more than just reject her this morning." he got back up quickly. he was too stressed to stay in one spot for too long. he carried himself over to where i was by the windows; looking out.
"figures," i sighed, but i wasn't surprised to hear it. the way she looked at me- she was terrified at the inhuman sight before her in that closet. just fix this one thing. and then you can cut yourself out of her life. "fuck," i muttered under my breath.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───