Paisley's POV
I was getting ready to leave with Paxton when the door swung open and the one person I didn't feel like seeing walked in. He stopped to stare at me before Paxton cleared his throat behind us.
"Someone had a rough night" Paxton stated, earning a dirty look from Ethan before he went upstairs without a word.
So he wasn't going to apologize?
Why was I feeling so bothered though? Was he even the same person I shared that beautiful moment with hours ago?
I should just ignore him. Show him that I too didn't give a fuck. Because honestly...
"You good?" Paxton broke me from my thoughts and I flashed him a small smile to assure him.
***
The drive to campus was awkwardly quiet until Paxton broke it.
"Do you like Ethan?" He asked, gripping the steering wheel harder.
"Why would you ask that?"
"Of course you do." He chuckled dryly before continuing,
"You all do. I mean, I really don't get it. He's... Not charming or kind. Hell he's my brother and I don't want to sound so bitter but he can be an asshole..."
"Look, whatever messed up shit you got going on between you two, that's none of my business and I don't want to be a part of it."
"It's not just you yk." I raised a brow at him but his eyes were fixated on the road.
"I mean if you're thinking that he likes you you're wrong. To him you're just another trophy he needs to claim before me. He always does that. With all the girls I show a slight interest in."
His words stung so deep and I couldn't tell what hurt so much. The fact that Ethan was just using me or the fact that Paxton just said that whole shitload to me.
"You know what? I'm sorry. So sorry that your brother has got you so goddamn insecure that you can't see when a girl is really down for you..."
"I see the way you look at him Paisley. If you're going to choose him over me I'd like to know before this, whatever we're doing gets any..."
"I...I just can't with you."
I said and before he could utter another word I opened the door leaving him no choice but to stop the car.
"I'm sorry Paisley I didn't mean to offend you it's just that..."
"Yeah Paxton I get it. You're worried I'll fuck your brother. Choose him over you. Cause I'm a whore and whores do that all the time. Save yourself from that trauma and leave me the fuck alone."
I closed the car door so hard that a few people shot me some stares.
"What?! Lost a shoe? Shoo. Walk"
I snapped at them and continued my walk to campus.
Why was I so mad? Maybe Paxton was right. Maybe I really did like Ethan. And that's what hurt. That no matter how much of an asshole he was I couldn't get him off my head.
I was mad because Paxton was right there, the perfect guy who was so into me, who was caring and gentle and...sweet. All that and I still couldn't get the kiss we had out of my head. I couldn't stop imagining it was him fucking my brains out the other night. Yes. The whole time Paxton and I were ruining each other I had his brother in mind.
There was just something about him that got me hooked. I have to stop feeling this...
"Hola!" Mila greeted as her driver dropped her off.
"I see those Spanish classes are finally paying off" I joked.
"So... How was it?" She asked, ignoring my comment
"How was what?"
"Oh c'mon!"
"Not great" I said flatly, hoping she would just let it go.
"HUH? Well not great is not enough. Give me the tea"
Ugh I should've known better.
Six hours later and it felt like I was reliving my story all over again. Mila and Skylar had made me tell them all the details, every statement, every expression...Talk about having nosy friends.
"Can we please change the subject? We've been talking about those two for hours." I pleaded with them.
"Not until you tell us which one of them you'd pick if you absolutely had to." Mila pressed.
"For the hundredth time, it will never come to that because I'm not in love with either of them. I'd choose none between them." I said with a huff.
"So you're telling us that you'd rather lose them both than have one? Bullshit."
Sky murmured and I rolled my eyes in annoyance.
We opted for the library to study for the test we had the following morning which I was very grateful for because God knew if I had to listen to any of them any minute longer I'd...
"Skylar." Someone called just before we entered the library and we all turned.
"Connor! Hey" she hugged him and Mila and I exchanged silent stares.
Skylar and Connor were friends now?
It felt awkward being around him considering that he walked in on Ethan and I kissing in the kitchen...
I pulled Mila into the library to avoid the awkwardness.
"What's up with you?" Mila complained and I let out a breath of relief.
"It's not every day you see Skylar hug a guy" I stated and she shook her head.
***
I was humming silently while walking down the street. Late night walks did magic to my body and it had been a while since I had had one anyway so today I asked Sky to drop me off further down the street.
I felt someone following me and rolled my eyes.
"Not even worried about a man following you on a lone street at night?"
"Go to hell Paxton. The perfume gave you away by the way before you ask."
He caught up with me and smacked his lips together before clearing his throat silently.
We walked past a few blocks, none of us saying anything to the other.
I was just about to say something when he too decided to speak.
"You go first." He said and I shook my head.
"I was just about to say something really mean so I guess it's best if I just shut up"
"Yeah I figured." He chuckled and I smiled unwillingly.
A few seconds passed by and he let out a shaky breath before he started;
"My whole life I've always been second. My family wanted to move? I was always last to be asked how I felt about it, which by the way was pointless because the decision had already been made. Our parents wanted us to change schools? I'd only know about it the day before we signed out of our previous schools."
He paused and I could tell this was a heavy topic for him.
"You don't have to tell me anything if..."
"No I want to. Ethan has always been prioritized in our family. I was always best in academics and generally everything but nobody ever noticed my efforts. It was always him and I hated it. When we moved out I thought, finally. It'll stop."
He paused and laughed sarcastically.
"It started with this girl I met at a gala our parents had invited us to. I took her home that evening and spent the night with her and basically most nights in the next six months. Just when things were getting serious he fucked her like it meant nothing and told me about it. I was so heartbroken I avoided feeling anything real for anyone because he just did the same thing like a fucking cycle you know? He had everything but somehow it was never enough, he had to go for the little I had."
He stopped me and made me look at him.
"I'm not telling you this to make you hate him or victimize myself. No. I'm insecure and most of it came from my family. I've never felt good enough for anyone and even when I think I am they always prove me wrong. I know this is not an excuse for how I made you feel earlier today."
"I know I said this before and you shut me out but I know something real when I feel it. I've shut myself off from people too for a long time and I'm not perfect but Paisley, whatever I'm feeling is more than just sex to me or friendship."
Please don't say it.
"I need you in my life. Not for friendship. Not for sex. I want you to let me in. Let be there for you. Let me be the one you wake up to every morning. Let me be enough for you."
He didn't say it. That's good right?
"I like you, Paisley. And it's not a small like."
He looked at me, scanning my face.
"I don't know Hunter..."
C'mon Paisley. Tell him how you really feel. Tell him that you are probably falling for his brother who has been a total dickhead to him all his life and you can't choose between them.
At this point though, I hated Ethan for everything he had made Hunter go through. He truly was the clear definition of asshole.
"It's okay beautiful. I said it once I'll say it again, I don't care if these feelings aren't reciprocated. I know how I feel and I won't apologize for it. Just don't lead me on if this isn't going anywhere. I don't know if I can take it if history repeated itself..."
I knew exactly what I had to do. Tell him that I didn't feel the same way even if I did. Stay away from both of them but for some reason I reached on my tiptoes and kissed him.
I let myself get carried away in the moment, the way his arms were holding me closely to him, or how fast our hearts were beating, or how good he smelled.
The way his lips were kissing me gently yet deeply or how good his tongue felt in my mouth.
Fuck Ethan, right now what mattered was this right here. I had a man who was begging me to let him in, how stupid would I be to lose this?
When we finally pulled away from our kiss our breaths were laboured and I smiled against his lips.
"I like you too, Hunter. And it's not a small like." And I meant it. I did like him. Just not him alone.
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Love, Malyun🦋