Content Warnings:
•Season 4 Part 3 Spoilers
•Mentions of Death
•Strong Language
•Decapitation
•Violence
•Blood
•Panic
•Guns
•Gore
•War
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Flashback
You didn't remember the exact moment when, but you can recall always being in competitions with your brothers. Watching them exercise and become stronger day by day urged you to do the same. You wanted to be just like them, to be just as strong and confident. It took lots of convincing to get them to finally teach you, but they eventually came around to show you the ropes.
Weeks turned into months which then turned into years of training yourself hard enough to be considered an opponent. Since Tristan had long already left for cadet corps to try out for the Military Police, it was solely up to Quincy to take over the lead. It wasn't long before he had taught you all you knew, no longer needing his guidance nor his "supportiveness," which was really him disguising making fun of you as motivation. Whatever it was, it worked to a degree, although you had enough determination to push yourself on your own. You were the initial one who had wanted to be like your brothers, so your own motivation was key.
"You just want me strong enough to pose more of a challenge." "That is so not true. You're just embarrassing yourself." "Shut up." He sat himself on top of your back, which nearly sent you straight to the floor. "G-Get off!" You huffed, voice severely strained to hold yourself up. "You just said I "wanted a challenge." So, here's your challenge." He crossed his arms and lifted his legs to make it even more difficult. "D-Dammit!" Out of breath, your arms shook as you carefully and ungracefully lowered yourself. Once your chest reached the floor, it was time to somehow push yourself back up to the top. How you would do that without breaking your arms, you hadn't a clue, but would never admit it.
"T-Thirty... ni-nine...!" Your voice struggled through your throat as sweat beaded across your face, then dripped to the floor. "Oh come on, you're not only embarrassing yourself, but me! I was the one who was training you! Don't shit all over my work now!" The older boy poked your arm, which ultimately sent you to the floor, landing on your chest. You let out a huff of air from the impact, plus the extra weight still sat on your back, totally out of breath. Your brother shook his head in disapproval, embarrassed on your behalf. "This simply won't do. I guess the only way we can settle this is through a wrestling match to hopefully redeem yourself." The older boy finally got up which relieved the pressure on you. "F-ine," you laid your head on the cool floor, "just... g-give me a... moment..."
Once you caught your breath and got into position, the two of you stood opposite of each other, slightly crouched. Your brothers were significantly taller than you, but you never let that be an excuse to hand them victory. At least right away. You tried to use your shorter frame as an advantage when you saw the opportunity. To you, it was never a disadvantage. You wanted to be taught how to fight and they finally agreed, so, you believed that anything you did was their own fault. It was only fair that way.
A quick lunge from you caused Quincy to immediately catch and push himself into your right shoulder, arm hooked around your back while his left hand grabbed your tricep. In a brief matter of seconds, he took a wide step forward before arching his back lower to the ground, then pulled your body over him. Eyes unable to focus on anything, as well as your mental focus, you realized long after the fact that Quincy had thrown you to the ground and had you pinned under his arm. Lying flat on your back, you stared upwards in an attempt to recollect all that had happened in the last three seconds. You should have known that would happen. Quincy was always too good at wrestling. There was rarely a time when you did beat him. In fact, maybe only once, and it was most likely a fluke anyway.
"I can't believe you just lateral dropped me that quick." You sighed after you caught your breath, however you continued to stare into space in defeat. Eventually, your brother climbed off of you and the floor before he laughed in your face. "I can't believe you still won't accept it after this long," he chuckled as he looked down at your sore loser face, "I'm just that great." With a roll of your (color) eyes, you rocked yourself up from the floor as well and held out your hand to congratulate him on another match won. "Until our rematch, quiche." In all the lessons he taught you, the most important one was that your matches never lasted very long.
Flashback End
"No! Dad! Dad!" Pieck cries out as Falco soars back towards Eren's Colossal Titan, being held back by Mikasa. Still in shock over the whole thing, the sky lights up green and orange as the citizens and your friends transform into pure Titans. Something you never wanted to imagine. You can't believe what's happening, only able to stare in denial as the pure Titans jump off the mountain, following the glowing worm thing as it squirms towards Reiner. Holding his arms out, he roars as the worm comes into contact with him, the Armored Titan holding it back with all his strength. The whole scene makes you want to throw up, between your friends turning into Titans and the disgusting worm wiggling about, attempting to restart the rumbling.
From your distant view, you see the hoard of Titans clash with the Armored, making it difficult for him to defend anyone or himself. "I'm going!" Pieck suddenly stands up, your eyes following her figure as she carefully walks towards the edge of Falco's back. "Be careful!" You call after her, knowing there would be no way to try stopping her after her mind is already made up. Jumping off, the girl transforms in mid air, sinking her teeth into the glowing worm. Fortunately, you notice Annie's Female Titan join forces, grabbing onto the, most likely, immortal insect.
Again, there's absolutely nothing you can do to help them. You're completely outnumbered once again, especially now that you've lost two of your comrades. What can you do? Stop doubting yourself is one thing you can do, yet you still manage to slip back into doing it.
Before you can totally return to your negative state, a groan from beside you catches your attention. "Mikasa?" Captain Levi looks over his shoulder at the younger raven as she grabs her head in pain. "Pull it together! We're the only ones who can kill Eren now!" He shouts, trying to get her back on her feet. Crouching beside her, holding onto the net, in only one second you feel an ounce of her headache, grimacing at the thought of experiencing it to the full extent. You've been there before, and you don't want to go back. "Mikasa!" The Captain tries again, ultimately unable to gain her focus.
Loud echoes of punches being thrown by the two fighting Titans steals your focus, flinching every time Commander Armin's Titan is dealt a powerful blow. Grabbing his hair, Commander Armin lands an uppercut on Eren, earning a few more hits in return. Watching them fight is painful as they're like brothers. You want to trick your mind by thinking of your own brothers wrestling each other back in the day, but its not helping too much. This is far different. Getting to know Eren and Commander Armin over the years, you always knew their bond was strong. The boys were best friends since childhood. How did it turn out like this, battling to the death?
Sensing Mikasa shift behind you, you turn in place to see her standing up, tightening the red scarf around her neck with sharp eyes. "Eren is in the mouth!" She announces confidently, "everyone, help me get there!" "Roger that, Mikasa!" Falco roars as he lifts higher above Commander Armin and Eren's Titans. Commander Armin's Titan throws another uppercut, sending rocks flying towards you and the others just as you dive off of Falco, readying your swords.
Rock blocking your path, you fling yourself forward to roll through the air, sharp swords cutting clean through the disturbed earth, opening your path once more. Glancing over your shoulder, you spot Commander Armin holding Eren's head in place, allowing Mikasa a straight shot towards his mouth. Captain Levi pulls back his right arm before thrusting it forward, launching a Thunder Spear into Eren's front teeth, blasting them off for Mikasa to maneuver through and get to Eren. Once the ravenette disappears into his mouth, a wave of calm washes over you, realizing the battle is finally over. All that work and effort has brought you to peace, to freedom.
In a matter of moments, Mikasa emerges from Eren's mouth, arms full. Falco swoops her way, allowing her to jump from her spot and safely land on his back again. Grappling onto Eren's slowly decomposing Titan body, steam emitting from his muscles, you make contact with Captain Levi, a solemn expression on his face. Maneuvering back to the ground, you meet up with Mikasa and Falco, jogging towards them after retracting your wires. "Mikasa!" You shout, catching up to her, but skidding in your tracks. Staring at the object in her hands, you realize she's holding onto Eren's head, his eyes closed. Unable to blink, your body turns back to Eren's Titan as it sinks to the ground beside you, eventually his baby-blue spirit rising with the steam. You knew this was coming, but you're still in shock it all happened so suddenly. You hardly had time to process.
Hand reaching up to cover your mouth, Mikasa blinks sadly, turning away to walk towards Commander Armin as he sits up. Standing back, you quietly watch and listen to the blonde wail in agony for the loss of his childhood friend, his brother, heart aching for the three of them. Barely hearing the whizzing of ODM Gear behind you, a thump and a grunt is what ultimately catches your attention. Quickly whipping around, your eyes widen as you scurry over to the injured Captain, dropping to your knees beside him as he catches his breath. "Are you okay?!" You immediately ask once reaching him, extending an arm around his shoulder to help him up. "I'm fine." The raven replies, acting as if nothing is wrong, however he hasn't reacted negatively to the arm currently around him. Instead, you feel three fingers brush your mid back.
"Then... I'm so grateful you're fine." You grin slightly, meeting his eye. Unknowing to what has taken over, you throw your other arm around him, pulling the older man close until its a full embrace. Utterly relieved he's alive. "I'm so glad..." You whisper with shut eyes, head leaning against his, bandaged cheek pressing carefully to his stitched one. "I am too." You swear you hear in the back of your mind, causing you to subconsciously squeeze him tighter. You couldn't care less for the scolding you'll receive sooner or later for wrinkling his shirt, but for now, all you can do is focus on the present moment. You're alive. Captain Levi's alive. Which... he still hasn't put up a fuss about the closeness, until, "look," you hear the mature soldier mumble, his voice vibrating in your ear, "over there." He shifts slightly, causing you to draw back a little, dragging a hand to his shoulder.
What is it...?
Fluttering eyes attempt to adjust to the distance, searching for what the Captain had mentioned. Then, you realize exactly what he was pointing out to. Far off, you spot two very familiar heads. One shaved and one sandy-brunette mullet. Mind slow to process, you hardly believe it to be true. You must be seeing things. Whipping your head back to the Captain, one arm still around him, and the other on his shoulder, your mouth hangs open, unsure of what to say. Giving you a look, as if saying "go ahead," you finally understand. "Th... They're... alive?" You whisper, eyes bigger than ever while they search his good one. "B-But your leg-!" You suddenly remember the bad injury he took awhile back, your gaze falling to the bloodied knee, fabric torn and stained. "Go." He ushers you, not wanting the pity. Swallowing, hesitant to leave, you eventually follow orders and nod, walking off. Halfway there, you look back over your shoulder to see him putting the weight on his other leg, clearly struggling, but trying to mask it. Should you not have left him?
He told me to go.
Listening instead, you jog the rest of the way, turning into a full on sprint when you realize your eyes were not deceiving you before. Heads turning up, the two boys gasp when they see you swiftly approaching. Before they get the time to stand up, you dive straight into them, arms wrapping around their necks in a tight squeeze. "I-I thought I lost you both!" You pant, mind still playing catch up. "We're not dead... are we?" Conny mumbles, still coming to his senses after turning back into a human. Shaking your head against them, you sniffle, "no... not at all." you whisper in response, beyond grateful to have them all back.
Once you pull away, your mind tickles you to turn around to check on the Captain again, however you no longer see him. What you do feel is that he's still around, just resting. Then you realize. "Commander..." You mumble to yourself, Jean and Conny barely hearing your soft voice.
He kept his promise.
Before the boys can question it, they suddenly push themselves up, staring ahead with shocked expressions. Returning your focus to them, your own gaze follows, landing on a figure you had not seen in a very long time. "Sasha?" Tears begin to brim both male's eyes as the young girl salutes to them happily, smile beaming on her face. "So... they see her too?" You whisper, your own smile beginning to grow. As the girl fades away, the wave of tears hit Conny hard, trying to wipe them away before having the chance to stream down his cheeks. Jean quickly steps over to comfort him, laying a hand on his back to reassure him that it's okay.
Thank you, Sasha... for everything. For showing up for them too.
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•.•
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•.•
"Please listen, Secretary Müller. Eren Yeager is dead. The Power of the Titans is gone, too! We're just regular people now!" Annie's father pleads with an older, gray man who holds his right hand up, keeping his men from firing. Guns all pointed at you, you quietly stand still, staring straight down a barrel. "Can you prove that? Right here, right now?" The older man, who you now know as Secretary Müller, suggests. "A blood test would-" Mr. Leonhart is cut off, "I said, right here, right now!" He barks, "please prove it to us. Whether you're human or Titan." A clanging of gear drops to the ground as Commander Armin marches forward through the crowd, saying, "if we still possessed Titan powers, we'd use them to resist. But even with those barrels pointed at us, we remain powerless. There's no greater proof that we're human."
"Who are you?" The Secretary questions with a threatening tone. "Armin Arlert, an Eldian from Paradis Island. I'm the one who killed the Attack Titan, Eren Yeager." The blonde's sky-blue eyes narrow on the gray man, determined to end this painstakingly long war of division. Without averting his gaze, Commander Armin lifts his right hand to his lips, parting them to bare his teeth. Following along, the previous Titan shifters do the same, already intimidating the Secretary. The armed soldiers behind him tighten their grip, steadying their aim to be at the ready. On his signal, they simultaneously bite down on their hands, nearly frightening the man from his own skin, but when he realizes nothing has happened, yet, he's on the verge of drawing back.
"There has to be another way!" The man still poses a challenge, not believing it. When Commander Armin and the others drop their bloody hands, holding their stance, Secretary Müller shifts uncomfortably. You can tell he's searching his thoughts for anything to say or do. Just then, Reiner steps forward, making himself more visible. "I'm Reiner Braun, a former Warrior from Marley," The tall, broad blonde feels something brush past him. "And I'm Gabi Braun, a Warrior Candidate from Marley!" The shorter brunette girl raises her voice, head turning when she hears Falco behind her. "Falco Grice, also a Warrior Candidate from Marley!" He exclaims. Annie and Pieck stand up and come forward as well, every single one of the shifters raising their bloody hands.
"I'd expect you to know out of everyone here that we no longer wield the Titan Powers, considering your people pumped us out and treated us like stray dogs to do your bidding." Reiner narrows his eyes on the Secretary. Even their Titan markings are gone, what more proof do they need? The Titan Powers have vanished for good. Mouth opening and closing like a fish, the man is dumbfounded after being stood up by his own previous soldiers. That alone should have convinced him.
After a long internal battle with himself, the Secretary slowly lowers his arm, gritting his teeth during the process. "I better not be wrong..." You hear his voice in your head, pursing your lips to not react. "Consider yourselves warned then if you try anything!" He shouts for everyone to hear, his men lowering their weapons by his command. Glancing around to see your comrades expressions, they all feel relieved. They know their powers are gone, so the threat means nothing to them. "Of course," Commander Armin nods. "enjoy your peace, sir." He adds.
Just as you're about to turn around, you feel a pair of eyes land on you, realizing its the Secretary. Immediately freezing, you can't get out of whatever the situation is about to become. "Hold on," you hear him say, "you look familiar." There it is. You had a feeling. Uncomfortably shifting your weight to a different foot, you want to run off, not to be bothered again by the Marleyans, but your body refuses to listen. After a few short seconds of contemplating, a bell must have gone off in his head, "ah! The long lost daughter we called our future girl." The smirk on his face gives you chills, even your comrades scrunch their noses in disgust. "How's your mother been since she deserted her post?"
Shit... is she going to get fined? Or worse?
Not wanting to mention her for her own safety, you will gladly do whatever it takes to keep her away. You knew she never wanted to serve in their military, but what choice did she have? Parting your lips to reply, you're surprised to find that you get interrupted, "what is it that you want, sir?" Commander Armin asks, now standing beside you. Glancing up/down/over at him, you appreciate the support, forever grateful for their understanding since you first got found out about. Clearing his throat, the older man burns holes in your face as he continues to stare at you, a plan obviously brewing in his mind. "You know what I want. The Warriors still have yet to complete their mission since your mother never fulfilled it."
Memories of Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie giving you uncomfortable looks all those years ago, even until recently, before joining forces to stop Eren and the rumbling. They spent years on Paradis Island to not only find the Attack and Founding Titans, but you. What could they possibly want from you? "So, what'll it be, future girl? Join us and become our new Militiary seer." The man holds out his hand, expecting you to come forward and shake it. Staring straight down at it, you are stuck in place, obviously not wanting to join them, but how can you get out of this without an argument? Without a war? He just stated they've been after you for the past... twenty-three years, since you were born and your mother was forced to confess about your existence to them. Your whole life, a target has been painted on your back and you only found out about it not too long ago.
"She has a name," a different voice speaks up from behind you. Quickly glancing over your shoulder, you're a bit surprised to see Reiner standing up for you. After all the drama you had between him, your feelings are a bit mixed in this moment. He must be doing whatever he can to earn your forgiveness, but he sure has a long trip ahead of him. "Y/n had nothing to do with this. She never even knew she was wanted by her enemies until two days ago." Reiner continues, keeping his short distance away. Returning your focus to the Secretary, whose brows are furrowed, he sets his jaw. "It doesn't matter how long she's known for, we finally have her in our clutches after so long! Join us and we can promise you a higher rank, plus a handsome payment for your duties serving us." The bribe sounds nowhere near tempting. You would never entertain the idea of leaving your friends to serve your previous enemies.
As Reiner is about to argue on your behalf again, this time, you speak for youself, "I'm flattered you think so high and mighty of me, sir, but..." Your gaze lingers across your comrades who surround you, "but I'm no more powerful than my mother. In reality, she is the one you should be begging for, even though she never wanted anything to do with your Military to begin with." You return your gaze to Secretary Müller. "I only recently began receiving visions of the future a few years ago, but they're still nowhere near perfect. In fact, I can barely see the future ahead of me now. I'm still learning to understand this, I would be of no use to you or your men, sir. And honestly," you pause to think over what you really want to say, but nothing is stopping you, "I would never betray my loyalties to the Survey Corps or my home. I'm declining your "offer," sir." You've officially silenced him.
With nothing more to say, the older man frantically searches his soldiers for any sort of confidence boost to spark another idea on convincing you, however, he is far too late, as you're ready to move on, "oh, I am seeing a vision..." you mumble, earning his immediate attention, "I see you pulling a stick out of your ass one day, Secretary." You do not give him the time of day to face him with that final statement, leaving him completely taken aback. Even your comrades are silent in shock, besides Conny who attempts to hold in a snicker. "Thanks for sticking up for me, guys." You whisper, only for them to hear. The Secretary takes one final glance at Commander Armin's hand, baring a bite mark, before subtly nodding his head to his men. That's when you all quietly watch the Marleyan squad depart after exhausting all their efforts.
After the Marleyan Secretary and his men leave in embarrassment, you turn towards your comrades, your friends, everyone unsure of what to do with themselves now. What is there to do? The war is over, so what's next for you and everyone else? None of you actually pictured a reality without Titans.
A moment of silence goes by as everyone attempts to collect their thoughts, but only one thing comes to mind for Conny, his eyes lifting up from the ground to meet your figure. "Hey," he speaks up, gaining your attention. "Why did you mention Historia earlier?" He asks, grabbing a few other's attention, them now listening as well. "Oh," that's right, you nearly forgot, but your body certainly didn't forget the torment it dealt, "she had her baby." You simply answer, watching as their faces light up in surprise. "Really?!" Conny gasps with wide eyes. Nodding, you softly chuckle as they forget about the moment long enough to actually celebrate something. That is something you can all think about now.
Just remind me to not give birth. Ever.
You grimace at the past memory, unsure of how anyone could willingly go through that. However they do it, you respect them. On the topic, you remember your mother, somewhere at sea with Kiyomi and Yelena. Surely they're safe, right? "I have to go find my mom." You say to no one in particular, even though a few heads turn your direction. "Do you want us to go with you?" Commander Armin offers, not keen on you traveling alone, even though Mikasa had already slipped away awhile ago. Not thinking for too long, you shake your head, "its okay, I need to not be a burden for one day." You half grin, feeling bad for all the times they had to take care of you. Your comrades don't want to accept your decline, but they have no other choice. "Be careful out there." Annie speaks up, to which you nod. "Yeah, don't be stupid, stupid." Jean smirks, earning a small chuckle from you. It feels so good to joke again, how long has it been since you got to laugh and not cry? "I can't make that big of promises, Jean." You reply, waving "bye," but not before you get enveloped in a bear-like group hug. Reiner and Annie respectfully stay behind, but see you off.
First, you have to find Captain Levi and get his approval to leave. Spotting the raven sitting against a rock, you jog over to him. "Captain, I hate to leave, but I was wondering if I have your permission to go back and find my mother." You ask as soon as you approach him. Eye trailing up to meet you, the man sits idly for a moment, almost looking... slightly emotional. "You don't need my permission. I'm not your Captain anymore, either. The rumbling is over and the Titans are gone, so there's no more Scouts." The statement makes you pause, attempting to process his words. You had never thought of that, the fact that there is no longer a need for the Survey Corps. Damn... you had gotten so used to being in the military, you almost don't know what to do with yourself now, considering it was something you always dreamed about, made your life about.
Without much else to say, you simply nod. "Understood, sir." You pivot in place, pausing once more, "I'll come back as soon as I can, though." You let him know, gaze not leaving his figure. Almost staring past you, the man is more solemn than ever, it seems. That's when you make a connection. "Did you see him?" You ask before departing. Expression unchanging, as if reading your mind, the raven gives a curt nod. "All of them." He responds, bringing a small smile to your face. You appreciate the late Commander for keeping his promise, doing more than you had thought. Just your abilities alone could never be enough for him to experience an interaction with his past comrades, but the previous Commander visiting Captain Levi along with the others is more than you could ask for. "Good." You whisper happily, your smile twitching into a larger one.
Thank you, Commander.
You realize you should probably go before it gets later and later, leaving you in the dark, so you shift your stance, however you feel this pull to stay a moment longer. "I'm sorry I couldn't do-" You start, but the Captain- Levi stops you short, "get that stick out of your ass." You just barely hear him say, nearly making you choke on air. "You heard that?" You chuckle out of embarrassment, face turning a shade darker. "Of course I did," He replies, his eye trailing to the stained bandage on your cheek. "now go before I change my mind, and take Falco with you." His voice is... gentle, not as sharp as usual. "I can go by myself, its okay, sir." You shake your head, noticing the raven is not in the mood to argue with you, so he says nothing. Crouching in front of him to give a final salute before officially departing, you wonder what he meant.
With time to actually process the last few hours, days, weeks, months, and years, the reality of it all begins to settle. You want to feel joyous, but you cannot help the building feeling of grief for those that died today and over the years leading up to this point. Finally having the time to think about it, you wish something else were happening to push those thoughts away. Sasha, Commanders Erwin and Hange, countless people... Was it really worth it?
All those people who served and gave their lives for one purpose and one purpose only: to find freedom. Yet, they never even got a taste of it. Walking alone through the dessert, wrapping yourself in your arms as the sun begins to lower, you attempt to process everything. It hurts your brain and your heart to think about it, but what else can you do? You haven't been completely by yourself in a very long time to allow these thoughts to surface. All you can do is allow them to be present, to fully grieve what has been lost.
Tristan. You could have done so many things differently to prevent his death. You feel selfish for being the one who lived instead. A little girl with no authority in the world, making it out alive and reaching the end. All for what? What purpose do you have in this world? Had you known all of this many years before, you could have changed the outcome. If only you had awakened these powers sooner.
Enough.
"Remember what Commander Erwin told you," you have to remind yourself before spiraling down a loophole, "just shut up and keep trudging." You shake your head in an attempt to rid your mind of the negative thoughts, but... you feel responsible for letting eighty percent of the population get murdered because you could do nothing to stop Eren and the the rumbling in time. That many people are gone now, forever cursing your name along with the others, but most importantly Eren's. How could he ever make the decision to do all this? To sacrifice himself for the sake of his friends?
You don't want to stop, you want to keep going. Its already been a few hours, what's a couple more? You hate to take a break now. However, the current situation reminds you that you don't have to be so disciplined anymore. There's no more military, you can take a break for once. Fighting yourself to actually sit down, you pull your knees to your chest, resting your chin atop them in order to allow yourself the time to process. To process and not interrupt yourself for once. To let it all out and not filter yourself. This anger has been trapped inside you for so long, you almost fear to release it, not knowing what to expect. You know that whatever you do now won't be the last of it, you'll continue to grieve for many years to come, as it has been since losing your brother. Not a day goes by where you don't think about him, as he is a constant reminder that you failed your squad and him.
Forcing yourself to take slow, deep breaths to focus, you notice the sky becomes much darker than a few seconds ago. Opening your eyes, your head subconsciously turns to the right, spotting something in the distance, "Conny...?" a whisper slips past your lips, you should have known that the Captain wouldn't let you leave without some sort of protection. Its a soldier's way. He's always been there for you. "Hey! Wait up!" You hear his distant voice. Figure eventually coming into view as he gets closer, sprinting the last few hundred feet, you know what you have to do. You have to keep moving forward. You have a mother now, one you were desperate to have in your life all along. If losing your brother meant finding your mother, you at least had to honor that. For his sake. You like to believe that Tristan intertwined your paths on his behalf, for that you have to thank him. Fight for him.
Thank you.
Standing up as soon as Conny reaches you, out of breath, you put a hand on his shoulder to steady him, his own hands on his knees. "I can't believe you followed me all this way. You're not trying to collect more favors from me, are you?" You look down at the bent over male. "No..., the Captain sent me." Conny chuckles lightly, taking a deep breath before straightening back up. Nodding in understand, you drop your hand from his shoulder, "Ah, I figured. Which... I do still owe you a few favors, actually." Your comment makes him shake his head, "no need. Just..." he pauses for a moment, hesitant to look right away, but eventually faces you, "let me know when Sasha visits." He asks quietly. "I can do that." You reply just as quietly.
"By the way, the Captain would have come himself if it weren't for his leg, though." Conny suddenly announces, catching you off guard. "It's not your fault, Conny. Really, its mine since I could have warned him." You shake your head this time. Even though Conny completely disagrees, he realizes that there's no point in arguing over whose fault it is, "let's agree to both be responsible, then." He holds out his hand, to which you grab and shake in agreement. "I'm glad we understand each other."
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•.•
"Mom!" You shout, when you make it to the shoreline, immediately running towards her. Whipping her head around, shoulders covered in a makeshift blanket out of a tarp, her matching (color) eyes widen as she dashes to meet you halfway. You haven't felt this enthralled to see her since finding out she was your mother than this very moment. The long journey with Conny had opened your eyes to many things and allowed you some time to sort things out in your mind. Surely, not everything is organized, but at least you made a start. You will need more time to heal, but for now, at least you can say you're putting in the effort. The first step will be forgiving Gabi, as hard as it will be, but you know Sasha would want you to.
Finally crashing into your mother's arms, a foreign sense overlaps your emotions. What is this and why have you never felt it before? Whatever you feel, it seems... right. With no end in sight of letting go, you allow her to hold on tightly, and to you the same. You are no longer upset at her for hiding the truth for so long, nor for leaving you, your father, or your brothers after you were born. She had to, there was no other choice, otherwise you two would not be hugging today. Every single decision made led you two to this moment, able to embrace the new, free world together. You vow that you won't only live for yourself, but for Tristan's sake as well. He deserved to celebrate this day along with you. With everyone.
"You don't have to tell me a thing about it, honey," you feel your mother's voice vibrate against you as her hand strokes the back of your head. Slightly confused for a moment, pulling back to face her, she smiles up at you before saying, "I already saw it a few years ago. I just never told anyone." She whispers for only you to hear. Of course, you nearly forgot. With wide eyes, you lean your head back on her shoulder, taking in her words. She truly is the most powerful woman you have ever met. The Marleyans were lucky to have her. You just wish your powers weren't viewed as witchly, but instead useful. Its a gift to share this talent with her. Touching heads, you feel enlightenment, slowly reopening your eyes to stare at the ground beneath your feet.
"She saw your entire future."
You hear Zeina's past voice in your head, back to when you still knew her as your "aunt" Lux. Connecting the dots, you catch onto her sneakiness, pulling your head back once again. "I thought you wouldn't lie anymore," you state, making a face at your mother, "you knew how this would turn out from the moment I was born." you keep your voice low, only earning a hearty laugh from the older woman. "To me, it was a few years ago. I like to imagine I'm still young, after all." She hums, rocking you both back and forth in a strong grasp after pulling your head back to rest on her shoulder.
Now knowing this... you begin to wonder. You hate to sour the mood, but you have to ask, before you lose the opportunity. "Did... you see everyone's future when we were born?" You whisper again, feeling the woman stiffen in your grasp. You shouldn't have asked, but what choice did you have? The thought would have eaten you up every day that you didn't. Hesitant, your mother releases a sigh, running her hand down your head again and to your back, comforting you to prepare you for the answer that is to come. You asked for the truth, so here it is. No more lies. "I did. Only glimpses, nothing nearly as detailed as your future, though." She starts.
So...
Reading your thoughts, she shakes her head a bit, "of course I knew my son would pass eventually. I just didn't know when. Like every life, there comes death. Its inevitable. I just knew that no matter what, I did not have the power nor control to prevent it. I had to suffer every day with that knowledge, knowing my firstborn would not live a long life. I believed it to be my own punishment for abandoning my children, but really, it never was. It was... it was already written out. I couldn't erase his script that was written with permanent ink." You feel the pain in her voice as she relives those memories, much similar to your own.
"I'm sorry for asking." You respond, knowing that it is your turn to comfort her. "No, its all right. You had to know eventually. You asked me to always be honest with you now. Its okay." Your mother draws back to face you with a gentle, but gloomy smile. "Thank you for telling me, mom. I feel a bit better knowing that it wasn't just me who couldn't stop it." The corner of your lip tugs back, finding another painful thing in common. All this time, you were suffering together, all those miles apart, one not knowing that the other was in existence. A depressingly beautiful thought to you. "I always knew we were connected, my dear. Even in the darkest of times." Grinning, she kisses your head, nearly making you squeeze her tighter. That feeling from before- no... the one that never left this whole time. You want to call it... safety. The feeling you never imagined to exist before.
So this is what it must feel like?
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Words: 6,650
11/12/23
Hello again, lovely readers! It feels so good to be writing more often again, I really missed this hobby!
I just wanted to give another reminder that everything after this point will be purely headcanon until we reach the far future canon ending of the show/manga. Everything until then will be all my imagination! I'm still unsure of how I want to exactly address things as far as relationships between the other characters, but I'll sit and ponder that for awhile until its time to mention it. Again, whatever I decide will be from my imagination. So whether Mikasa got married or not, I'll make my own decision on that later for my story.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. About the middle to the end is where it started to become headcanon, so the next chapter will officially be all headcanon, which I can't wait for! Time to let my creativity fly freely! Have a lovely day/night! See you in the next chapter! :)
~AlpineBreadStick