SMILES WELCOMED me as I joined our video call in the group chat with Honey and Patch, my best friends. "Happy birthday, Athena!" they said in unison. They were just using Honey's account. Magkasama sila ngayon sa unit ni Patch at parehas silang may suot na birthday hat.
Patch was holding an ice cream cake with a small smile of her face, so I raised a brow looking at her. "Hindi naman aabot sa akin ang cake na 'yan!" I objected.
"It's the thought that counts, saka may regalo naman ako sa 'yo. Hawak lang ni Honey," Patch explained. She placed the cake on the table and nudged the person sitting next to her.
My eyes diverted to the one who was holding a birthday present where the wrapper matched to the bow in her hair. "So anong regalo mo?" I teased her.
Ibinaba ni Honey ang hawak niyang regalo sa gilid niya at inayos ang kanyang bow na parang galing mismo sa wrapper ng regalo ni Patch. Then she gave me a grin and spoke, "I'm the present! My presence is enough! Ako na ito, ayaw mo pa!"
My arms crossed after hearing her explanation. Kaya naman sinegundahan niya ang mga sinabi niya dahil napansin niyang parang hindi ako nakikipagbiruan. "Ito naman! Hindi lang ako nakabili dahil masyadong busy!" paliwanag niya.
"Says the girl who can just buy anything at the duty free. Don't tell me, ikaw na ang nagpapatakbo ngayon ng mga eroplano sa airport?" panunukso ko. Of course, I didn't mind receiving nothing. I was well aware that just their presence and any small effort would be more than enough these days.
We agreed to have a low maintenance friendship and to be fair, they told me last time that it's hard to buy what I wanted if they would really buy something for me.
Guess what, I was. . . Kinda. . . High-maintenance. . .
"Kakapasok ko lang. Nagpapa-bibo pa ako sa mga seniors," sabi naman ni Honey habang nakanguso pa.
I smiled at her. "Anyway, congratulations! Hindi ba iyan talaga yung dream airline mo?" I tried starting a conversation about us.
"Yes!" Honey gladly responded.
"Pero hesitant ka last time?" Patch intervened.
"Kasi naman. Ang daming sinasabing hindi maganda noong pinanggalingan ko. It turns out, okay naman pala! So ayun, sana magtuloy-tuloy na ako rito. Magaan kasama ang mga tao. Kaya super happy talaga akong nandito na ako," Honey claimed.
"Well, kasi naman, sinabi ko na sa 'yo na huwag kang maniniwala roon sa mga kasama mo dati. I could sense na may iba sa kanila at base na rin sa kwento mo, I smell toxicity. Ikaw dapat mismo ang nakakakita bago mo husgahan ang isang bagay. Kailangan mo munang makita yung other side of the story. Tingnan mo ngayon, sumugal ka, walang pagsisisi tapos masaya ka pa."
I just bobbed my head upon hearing Patch's preach for our friend. Then my eyes shifted to her. "Yung isang may special someone dyan, masaya ba?" Curiosity was obvious from my voice.
Patch gazed upon me with her teasing eyes. "Oo naman no!" She even chuckled. "Especially with my career as an author and content creator. Stable yung pagiging content creator dahil tinaasan ko na ang rates at hindi pa ako nawawalan ng clients. I might also launch a new book aside from the stories that I was planning to publish for personal copies. Kinukulit ng mga readers yung publishing company na naglalabas ng libro ko e," she discussed.
"Paano naman yung sa Sororitea?" Honey asked.
"Baka mag-resign na ako next summer. Tapos magtatayo ako ng sariling milktea shop kasama yung kaibigan ko," Patch answered, sounding as if she's at her peak of passion and grit.
"Good mindset. Kung hindi lang din ako employed ngayon sa company namin, baka yung perfume business at pagtatrabaho sa foreign relations for linguistics ang pinagkakaabalahan ko. At least, we are all doing our desired career now. We feel happy, healthy, and safe these days," I concluded with a vibrant expression while looking at my best friends.
Hanggang sa napansin ko ang ngiti ni Honey. It was an annoying one. Kaya bago pa ito magsalita ay napairap na ako. She then gave us a chortle. "Parang blessed na blessed ka naman dyan, Athena gurl. Sino ba ang nagpapasaya sa 'yo daily? I mean, every working day?" Nagawa pa nitong kumindat, kaya naman nahampas siya ni Patch dahil natawa ito.
Of course, hindi ako. My eyes rolled, not because of anger but for being uncomfortable. Because honestly. . . I heaved a sigh before answering them. "Eto, medyo may doubt kung tama bang all these times ay sama ng loob lang ang in-invest ko kay Koa when we broke up."
"We never learned about the reasons behind your break up," Patch replied. "Tapos after noon parang okay na lang bigla at naging busy ka sa pag-aaral, sa pagiging part timer sa foreign companies, at pagsisimula ng business," she even added.
"Gurl, true! Akala mo ay hindi anak ng milyonaryo." Tinuro ako ni Honey. "Pero alam ko, nag-break sila dahil nga sa aso ni Athena!" she claimed while looking at Patch as she pointed a finger at me.
"Pero iyon ba talaga ang rason?" Patch looked at me intensely. Her eyes were filled with curiosity and didn't speak until I uttered a work.
"Of course, not! Hindi naman ako ganoon kababaw," I said with conviction. "Matagal din kami, marami kaming napagsamahan, marami kaming nalampasan, ups and downs are inevitable in a relationship. I could say we made it at some point because of our compatibility and interest with each other's life." I paused to clear my throat. "Bonus na lang yung physical attraction. Pero ayun nga, I could say we didn't end up together because of too much complications in our lives. Dumating sa point na we couldn't meet halfway. Hindi ko na siya naiintindihan at hindi niya na ako naiintindihan," I thoroughly explained.
"That sucks," Honey reacted. "So you think okay na siya ngayon?"
With hesitation, I bobbed my head. Didn't utter a word or move from my sit.
"Shet ka!" she exclaimed. "Kasi hindi kayo, hindi kayo ngayon. Kaya siguro nasasabi mo 'yan. Nakikita mo kasi yung good side niya as a colleague, baka nga friends na kayo. Pero friends nga kasi kayo kaya naiisip mo 'yan. Iba yung point of view kapag kayo, hindi naman kayo, e. Hindi kayo ngayon. Ngayon lang ba? Gets?" She included a lot of thoughts that somehow bothered me, still I understood her.
"In my opinion." Patch got my attention as she cleared her throat. "Hindi naman masama na maging malapit kayo kung komportable kayo ngayon sa isa't isa. Single ka at single siya. Technically, wala namang issue. Unless may unsettled issues pa o may problema ka sa pagiging mag-ex niyo?" I couldn't answer her so she gave me an advice, more like a motivation, once again. "Athena, alam kong mature ka naman sa ganyang bagay, kaya sure akong kaya mong i-handle 'yan."
Our conversation ended as we decided to start our day. Napahaba nang kaunti ang pag-uusap namin kaya naman medyo nagmadali akong pumasok na sa opisina.
My way to our office was easy but the moment I entered the room, I could barely breathe. I could something was off. Nagpapakiramdaman ang mga tao. Mukhang iniisip sila. Kanina pa kaya ganito o sa pagdating ko lang? Dahil ba na-late ako?
Sorry na. Bumili pa ako ng kape para sa kanila. Treat ko na rin 'to.
I heaved a sigh as I strode towards my cubicle. "Good morning!" I greeted them enthusiastically.
But the team didn't greet me back and just hid themselves at their spaces, except for the supervisor in market research unit slash our principal investigator slash my ex-boyfriend. Koa even smiled at me as he responded. Since he was the first to greet me, I went straight to him and handed him his Iced shaken hibiscus tea with pomegranate pearls.
"Thank you, Athena," he whispered, still working on his laptop.
Then I proceeded to put down the coffee drinks on our receiving area's center table, those were for the others.
Wala pa nga akong sinasabi ay napansin kong isa-isa nang lumapit ang mga kasama ko para kumuha ng kape. Pangunahan pa nga 'yon ni Catherine. Tahimik pa rin sila at yumuyuko lang sa harap ko.
People of the earth, what is happening?!
I looked at them with so much confusion until someone poked my shoulder. Nang lumingon ako ay bumungad sa akin ang mukha ni Catherine, medyo nakayuko pa ito pero mas lumapit siya sa akin saka bumulong nang sobrang hina, "Di man lang nagalit."
My brows creased when we looked at each other, but Catherine just showed me a winning grin. I could sense that there was something weird going on.
Was she referring to Koa? I guess. I was not dumb to deny that. Late ako at hindi man lang siya nagalit kahit na nagawa ko pang ibili sila ng kape, imbis na magtrabaho na para sa inaasikaso naming project. But what could I do? I was really doing my job and to be honest I was liking it here, working with Koa.
Madalas na tungkol sa trabaho ang pinag-uusapan namin at marami kaming pinagkakasunduan tungkol doon. It made the whole progress smooth and steady. Our partnership to lead this market research assignment was very effective, I must say. Pakiramdam ko, nakikita ko tuloy yung reason kung bakit ako noon nagkagusto sa kanya at kung paano nag-work yung relationship namin. . . somehow.
Still, in line with that, never pa kaming nakapag-usap tungkol sa mga masyadong personal na bagay. Maybe small talks before we rammed our keyboards and shook our pens or after our productive days. Nagkakasabay rin kasi kami sa pag-uwi at natataon pang magkatabi ang parking space na nakukuha namin.
Kumustahan, kung kumain na bago pumasok, kung saan pupunta after work. Mga ganoon lang. But not too personal, na tipong pati kung bakit kami hindi nagkabalikan ay uungkatin ko, because honestly. . . I was hesitant to ask him stuff about us. If ever he turned reasonable, I was dead ass afraid to admit that I might lose my senses and just forgive him totally, and maybe. . . .give him another chance of knowing his side and his whereabouts now. I was dead ass afraid of how I would take his words because I might turn out understanding him so damn well. How should I think of it then? How should I feel about it then?
Kasi kung isasantabi ko naman talaga yung galit, natatandaan ko pa rin hanggang ngayon kung paano ako naging masaya dati kasama siya. I didn't lose that in me. I didn't forget anything about him.
At aaminin ko, nakakatakot isiping hindi nawala 'yon.
With all the thoughts in my head, I decided to go back to my cubicle. I needed to focus more on our task because I had to prove myself to my Dad. Iyon ang mas importante. So I sashayed my way back to my place but before I could, Koa appeared beside me.
Jolted in my position, I saw him holding a box with a ribbon. Napatingin ako nang maigi sa hawak niya nang ilapag niya 'yon sa center table. Halos katabi lang ng paper bag na pinaglagyan ng drinks nila kanina.
I tilted my head and turned at him to ask. Boom! Ayun na naman! Bumungad sa akin ang mukha niya at may kalapitan 'yon, kaya hindi agad ako nakapagsalita at napatitig na lang ng ilang segundo. His gentle gazes, his teasing pouty lips, the well structured edges of his face. Medyo nababawasan ang kapangitan niya, huh?
I mentally shook my head and clenched my fists to throw myself back to reality as I tried to compose my inner thoughts. Was also about to demand an explanation regarding that box but before I could, he leaned forward to my right ear and spoke, "Happy birthday, Athena. . ."