Yuta thought the first meeting went rather well. It was almost disappointing when he had to return to his apartment. Those blades were jabbed into the wall as a reminder of his weakness - as if he had the ability to forget.
Upon entering the darkened opening corridor of his unit, Yuta collapsed to the ground. The meeting wasn't bad, but it was so much. However, there were a few people who attended that seemed rather nice. Whether she wanted to or not, Maki sounded gentle with the way she approached the topic of her family. Even more so was the interesting character of one Inumaki Toge.
"Who are you," Yuta found himself saying aloud.
It was a chain reaction. All Inumaki had to do was open up a little, and the whole room changed their tune. Was he some kind of influential figure or maybe he was just plain popular? Yuta couldn't help but smile, facing the chipped and stained paint of his apartment's walls. For once in his life, he wasn't thinking about himself or Rika. Inumaki had given him that, if only for a second.
The sun was essentially completely set by the time Gojo drove him back to the complex. The white-haired man didn't step out of the vehicle. Out of everyone Yuta had met that day, Gojo was still significantly odder than the rest.
Yuta's phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out slowly, expecting it to be a spam email from some subscription service or his Spotify premium. What he didn't anticipate was the message from an unknown number.
"Hi, it's Inumaki Toge. We met today, and I figured I'd send you a message so you had my number too," the text read.
Yuta replied, "Hi! I didn't expect something from you so soon. I figured you were just trying to be nice to the new guy."
"No, nothing like that. You just seemed interesting, that's all," Inumaki texted back.
Yuta raised a brow with a slight smile, responding, "Interesting? I think you mean awkward."
"Maybe a little awkward, but that's not what I meant," Inumaki replied.
"Then how am I interesting to you?"
There was a brief pause in the flow of messages. Yuta grunted. He was being too careless. Inumaki was a nice guy, and all Yuta was doing was probing for answers. No one had asked for his number outside of work. Inumaki was interesting too, but it was difficult to qualify.
"You seem like a cool person I'd want to hang out with. Are you free tonight?" Inumaki replied.
Yuta almost dropped his phone, taken aback by the question, "Like hang out tonight? It's kind of late. I think most places are closing soon."
Inumaki replied quickly, "No, I mean at my place. We can play video games and eat food. I've been kind of lonely lately. Could use a distraction from everything going on."
Inumaki wanted him to go over to his place? Based on the clothes the silver-haired man wore, it wouldn't be as small or dinky of an apartment. Yuta shook his head; there was so much happening, and it was so sudden.
"I'll send an Uber to your place if you want. I don't mind at all. Either that or I'll pay Gojo to break down your door," Inumaki texted.
Was Gojo known for his devious lock-picking skills? On one hand, Yuta wanted to decline, but on the other, the day was full of new experiences. Inumaki was trustworthy enough for a room full of people to delve into their pasts.
"I'll come, if I can pay for the ride," Yuta responded.
"No deal, my apartment, my rules. You don't get to pay for it," Inumaki replied.
"I insist, please!" Yuta begged.
"Nope. Now give me your address before I pay Gojo for that," Inumaki replied.
In a matter of minutes, Yuta found himself rushing around his apartment, debating on changing clothes or brushing his hair. He hadn't been to someone's house other than Rika.
By the time the ride arrived, Yuta had changed shirts three times and jackets twice. He didn't own much clothing, but most of it fit after high school, so he just kept it. Inumaki messaged fairly consistently while the process was occurring.
There were jokes and memes shared. Some of the things Inumaki sent almost felt tailor-made for Yuta. One was a photo of a shark with human teeth, another was a video of a jack-o-lantern claiming to be named Lewis. Inumaki just seemed to immediately understand Yuta. It was all a good change of pace.
Once Yuta arrived, he saw Inumaki in the parking lot in a light blue button-up shirt that complemented the cool tones of his silvery blonde hair. Yuta rubbed his thumb against his palm as he watched the man approach.
Inumaki's hair was down, and his eyes were different too. Did Inumaki wear colored contacts? Yuta could have sworn they were violet before. It was a pretty color, but the dark chocolate hue of his eyes under the parking lot street lamps was much prettier.
The thought of communication hadn't crossed Yuta's mind. While texting, it had slipped his mind that Inumaki didn't talk. Yuta stepped out of the car door, thanking the driver with a quick bow.
Inumaki waved, blushing a light pink.
Was he embarrassed? Yuta's cheeks warmed. No one had ever blushed while looking at him. It was kind of comforting whether it was intentional or not. Inumaki held out his hand with a grin.
"Do you want me to take your hand?" Yuta asked.
Inumaki wrinkled his brow but nodded.
Yuta blushed again, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be weird! It's just that this is all new for me. The interaction and the invitation."
Inumaki nodded, holding a thumbs up.
"Is it all okay?" Yuta asked.
Inumaki nodded.
"Okay, thank you for having me over. I'd love to see your place," Yuta said, attempting to smile.
Inumaki held out his hand again. When their palms met, Inumaki squeezed tightly. It was reaffirming. It was a feeling so familiar but so distant. Did Rika hold his hand like that?
Yuta gripped Inumaki's hand in return, "It's been a while since someone held my hand like this."
Inumaki smiled, pulling Yuta along. They journeyed down a path and into the depths of the silver-haired man's apartment complex. When they entered Inumaki's unit, Yuta was hit with the scent of citrus and white tea. It was a light but pungent smell that lingered on the tip of his nose.
In two kicks, Inumaki removed his shoes. Yuta followed but didn't let go of Inumaki. There was something about the way Inumaki's smaller, softer hands felt that only pulled Yuta in more. The silver-haired man's grip was tight but it wasn't constricting.
"Wow, this is a lot nicer than mine," Yuta mumbled.
Inumaki giggled to himself with a smirk.
"Can I get a tour?" Yuta asked.
The silver-haired man blushed and nodded.
Along the walls of the living room hung many paintings. Each of the pieces was stamped with a symbol at the bottom resembling a snake's eyes and fangs. Were they all by the same artist? Was Inumaki secretly a millionaire?
Inumaki pulled Yuta into a side office. It was lit with LED lights around the edge of the wall and coated in posters. There were several shelves with figures and video game cases around the exterior of the room. Meanwhile, a large monitor and computer sat on a desk in the center.
"Wow, is this your gamer space?" Yuta asked, trying not to be offensive.
Inumaki wavered his hand in the air as if teetering between two options. With a gentle motion, the shorter silver-haired man revolved Yuta around his body to the other side of the desk. There was something powerful about Inumaki in that moment. Yuta wasn't able to understand exactly what he was doing, but it seemed like Inumaki was trying his best to convey the message.
On the monitor was a display of random symbols and words. It took a moment to connect, but then Yuta realized it was code. His gaze widened at the script in front of him.
"Wow, you are so impressive! You work from home?" Yuta asked.
Inumaki nodded.
"Are you a coder? I guess that is called a programmer or software engineer," Yuta muttered to himself.
Inumaki giggled again.
Yuta couldn't help but smile, "What? Did I say something wrong?"
Inumaki straightened his face and shook his head.
Yuta blushed, "Oh, okay. Why were you laughing?"
Inumaki held up his hand, then froze. The light that had been in his eyes faded as he looked down to his feet. He must have been struggling to communicate what he wanted to. How did he typically hold a conversation? Did he write on cards or paper?
"Sorry, that was a complicated question. I'll stick to yes or no stuff for now. Is that okay?" Yuta frowned.
Inumaki's eyes sparkled, and he nodded.
The silver-haired man pulled Yuta's hand, dragging him through the comfortably furnished living room, past the kitchen, past the bathroom, and into the main bedroom. Each wall was patterned with drawings and doodles. A large painting hung above the bed depicting a snake with fangs - some sort of viper? It was white with the markings on its face that were stamped on the other paintings.
"Did you draw all of these?" Yuta asked.
Inumaki nodded, pulling both hands to his mouth to create fangs with his fingers.
It was breathtaking. Inumaki had so much talent in him. Did he sell art too? Is that why everyone seemed to be captivated by the snake? White snakes were supposed to be friends of the gods. Perhaps that's what Inumaki really was.
Yuta rubbed his then-freed hand, "Can I ask you something that's private?"
Inumaki nodded with a concerned slant on his face.
"Are you part of some kind of influential family? I know Ms. Maki has the same last name as the sporting company. I also know that Gojo has some kind of grip on this town. So, I was wondering."
Inumaki froze, then he laughed. His voice was deeper than Yuta expected it to be. It wasn't a giggle that snuck out, rather it was a laugh from Inumaki's core. The reaction was intriguing but not comprehensible. Then, Inumaki wavered his hand in the air again.
"Is it complicated to explain?" Yuta asked.
Inumaki nodded again.
"I was curious because it seemed like everyone liked you. I didn't know if they were being genuine or if you were just a figure to them," Yuta nervously smiled.
In that instant, Inumaki reached out and grasped Yuta's hands. The snake's fingertips were cold. His eyes were two warm thickets banded in rings of sandy gold. He didn't speak, but it was almost as if Inumaki were saying "trust me."
"I will," Yuta spoke softly under his breath, hoping both that Inumaki would hear him and that it was an inaudible message to the gods that had befriended the pale snake in front of him.
Inumaki blushed a deep red that extended to his hands.
Yuta jerked his hand back to his side, nervously scratching the back of his head, "Why don't you decide on food. You said that was the plan, right? Your house, your food. I am not picky."
It seemed so fast, but within half an hour, Inumaki had ordered Chinese food and it arrived. There wasn't too much talking while they waited. Instead, Inumaki set up his Nintendo Switch, and they played a few rounds of Smash Bros. Though, Yuta felt that it was less playing and more like Inumaki was slaughtering him.
When the food was delivered, Inumaki placed it on the table and pointed toward the kitchen.
"You want me to go to the kitchen?" Yuta asked.
Inumaki gestured taking a drink.
"Oh! Water is fine with water," Yuta smiled.
The silver-haired man looked at the ground, then inhaled a deep breath. He reached and held Yuta's hand once more. When the shorter man stood, Yuta followed. They walked to the kitchen where Inumaki searched his freezer.
He retrieved a bottle of blue alcohol. Yuta's eyes widened. It wasn't that he despised drinking in any way. It was just that the prospect didn't interest him. However, there was desperation in Inumaki's eyes. Alcohol was supposed to help with nerves, Yuta heard that from the bartender at his job. She had offered several times to make Yuta a drink at the end of his shift, but he never partook.
"I've never really been a drinker. But, I'm willing to try some," Yuta bit his lip.
Inumaki nodded with an overexaggerated serious face that almost made Yuta laugh. The silver-haired man opened a cabinet and pulled out two cups. He poured a splash in one and more of a drink in the other. Afterward, he handed the less filled cup to Yuta.
"Do we need to toast or something? We both have a drink, so I think that would be appropriate," Yuta said, attempting to take more time to prepare himself for what he assumed would be an awful flavor.
Inumaki nodded.
"Okay, well. I guess we should toast to a new friendship," Yuta said.
Inumaki clicked his cup against Yuta's.
They both drank. Yuta instinctually scowled. However, when he finally tasted the liquid, it wasn't bad. It was surprisingly sweet and tasted of blue raspberry. The aftertaste was more like he expected, but still not terrible.
"Wow, that was not bad. I would drink more. That is if you want to give me more," Yuta said.
Inumaki stood still for a moment. His brown eyes twitched as if he were debating something.
Yuta nervously blurted out, "I haven't drunk much ever, so I don't really know my limit!"
Inumaki sighed, with a soft smile between his lips he poured more into Yuta's cup. It was easy to recognize that Inumaki didn't pour nearly as much as he had for himself. The silver-haired man was kind. Yuta was sure that he had been considering the idea of drinking on a weeknight.
When they sat to begin eating, Inumaki flipped the large OLED television to a streaming service Yuta didn't recognize. When the application opened, there was a title at the top "Personal Media Server." What was that? Did Inumaki make the application?
"What's a personal media server?" Yuta asked.
Inumaki pulled his phone from his pocket. He sighed, typing out a message.
"Sorry! You don't have to answer that. I know I said I would only ask yes or no questions. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable," Yuta bowed his head.
Inumaki giggled, finishing typing before handing his phone to Yuta, "It's just a thing I run from my computer. I can download movies and shows on my PC and put them in a folder that connects to the TV. So, I can watch whatever I want if I don't have the streaming service. You're sweet for trying not to make me uncomfortable. I just figured, maybe it's best if we could communicate in a less arbitrary way."
Yuta handed the phone back, "Thanks for explaining. I just don't want you to think you have to write out a text. I know that can feel not personal. Honestly, talking to anyone in any way makes me feel weird."
Inumaki typed out a message, "I understand that. I just did the whole trying to communicate without text thing before. It worked out fine, but I feel like maybe it's time for a change of pace. Maybe I should be more open to people before anything changes without me wanting it to. Somethings happen and seem okay at first, but then you realize how hard it makes everything."
Yuta felt his eyes warm and his throat tighten, "I completely know what you mean."
The silver-haired man selected the movies section on the application display. Inside were all the Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter films, and various others. Yuta hadn't seen any of them other than clips. He hadn't felt the need. But, there was something about the sight of them that night which caught his eyes.
"This is kind of depressing, but I never have seen these. Rika wasn't a movie person, so I never really-" Yuta stopped speaking.
He had mentioned Rika as if Inumaki knew who she was. Even when Yuta found himself enchantingly distracted, he was pulled back to Rika. The sight of her tiny corpse sprawled on the pavement still floated in his mind. It should have been him, and he knew it.
Inumaki's phone came into Yuta's blurred sight, "Tell me more. Is that the friend you mentioned at group therapy today?"
Those words were a sight for sore eyes. Why did he want to know? Was he really so cunning to put together that Rika was the figure Yuta purposely hid details about at the meeting? Inumaki really was amazing.
"Are you sure? You just bought us food, and I don't want it to get cold," Yuta said.
Inumaki nodded, opening one of the many paper cartons on the table.
"She was my first love. Something like that at least. We were kids though. She loved me more than I loved her. One day, we were out playing when she was killed. She was hit by a car that wasn't slowing down. It should have hit me, but she pushed me out of the way," Yuta felt his stomach twist.
It had been ages since he had fully explained the story of how Rika passed. The details were fresh, but still lightly faded around the edges when it came to the investigation. The man driving had been inebriated, but that was unimportant to the fact that Yuta would have been hit.
"It's not your fault. You know that, right? Sure, things happen like that. But, Rika loved you enough to try and save you. She had no idea what would happen to either of you. Someone once told me that it was important to live the life you were granted by someone else," Inumaki typed out.
Yuta saw a drop of water hit the screen before he realized he was crying. A second tear fell from his eyes, but that one was caught by Inumaki's sleeve as he wrapped his arms around Yuta. The silver-haired man's grip was tight under Yuta's arms. He was so warm, warmer than a snake should have been. Perhaps that was the gift from the gods that loved the snake. In which case, Yuta was grateful that such a creature would share the warmth with him.
Yuta tried to speak through his tears, "Thank you, Inumaki."
Yuta shoved his face into Inumaki's shoulder. It wasn't his plan to cry in the arms of a man he had just met that night, but that was what happened. Inumaki's hand gently rubbed Yuta's back. He was so strong, how was Inumaki so strong?
"Thank you for letting me tell you. It's just that when I think about it, that summer is frozen in time. It was a blue summer. One I don't think I can forget," Yuta's speech was broken up.
Inumaki tightened his hug, as if to say, "I have you now." Was that what the silver-haired man was trying to say? No matter what his meaning, it was an autumn night that would stay frozen as well. It was the first time Yuta had heard the pain in his heart echo from his throat. He hoped it would be the first of many that he could convey to someone, to Inumaki, what he was feeling.
And so, after a few minutes, they watched Star Wars: A New Hope. By the end of the movie, Inumaki had fallen asleep on the couch. Yuta couldn't blame the man. It was an exhausting visit. He hoped that Inumaki wouldn't hold that against him.
Yuta gathered the trash from their meal and put it in the garbage can. He then ordered an Uber to return home while the porcelain-skinned snake slept. Yuta placed the dishes in the sink while awaiting the ride.
When it finally arrived, he retrieved Inumaki's keys, carefully found the one meant for the door, removed it from the ring, pulled on his shoes, and quietly left the apartment. He locked the door, sliding the key under a welcome mat on the doorstep. He hoped that nothing would happen to Inumaki as he slept, but Yuta didn't want to trouble the snake by waking him.
"Until tomorrow, Inumaki. Goodnight," Yuta whispered to himself as he turned away from the locked door.