Trigger warning: Traumatic thoughts
Warning: Underage drinking. Do not drink until you are 21 in the country of the United States. This story takes place is Taisho era Japan and might display themes that were acceptable then and not acceptable now.
The Kakushi came to pick us up before we knew it and carried us back to the butterfly mansion. When I got back, I tried to smile. I didn't want to bring anyone's spirits down. Rengoku wouldn't have wanted that. When I got to the mansion, they said that I didn't have any injuries besides my head. I somehow didn't even get a concussion. When they brought me to my usual hospital room, Uzui came to visit me. Uzui always visits me as long as he's not on a mission.
"Hey y/n." Said Uzui, "I brought some sake if you want some."
"No thanks," I said quietly to him, "I'm not supposed to have it."
"Nonsense. The drinking law is for irresponsible people. You're not irresponsible, besides, it helps numb the pain a little." Uzui said, pouring me some.
I pick up the glass. "How are you doing?" I asked him.
"Honestly, not great." He takes a swig of his glass. "Rengoku was my best friend and now, I really don't know what to do."
"Yeah." I take a sip of my glass, "He left some last words for you, if you want me to tell you."
Uzui looked shocked. "Really?" I nodded my head.
"What did he say?"
I take a breath. "He said that you're the greatest friend a man could hope for and your sword technique was truly beautiful, but you do have too many wives."
Uzui chuckles a little. "That does sound like him. I needed to hear that." He flicks a small tear off his cheek.
"It all happened so fast.... I'm still in shock. I still kind of refuse to believe it." I say take another sip.
We pretty much talked about Rengoku and drank sake the whole day. It seemed to really help Uzui grieve.
"You know y/n, thank you for doing this with me." Uzui said. "It helped. Also, I was starting to think that you hated me."
"Why did you think that?" I asked.
"You've just been ignoring me. Also I know that you're still kind of mad at me for the whole thing with your boyfriend."
"Yeah...." I said "but I don't hate you for it."
"Good," He said.
I smiled and took the last sip of sake, spilling it on myself. Uzui took the glass from me.
"That's enough." He said, smirking at me and leaving the room.
I really hate when he does that. When he pressures me into drinking until I'm drunk but not noticeably drunk. I think he finds it funny in a way. No, he definitely finds it funny. I think he makes me drink with him because he doesn't have too many people to drink with, since his brothers passed. He's lost so many people in his life.
I take a bath and get dressed after that. Then Zenitsu comes to check on me.
"Hey, y/n chan, it's time for dinner."
"I'll be there." I said getting up.
When I got there, everyone seemed really sad. Inosuke wasn't super messy with his food like he usually is. The only one who didn't seem depressed was Zenitsu, and he wasn't super close to Rengoku so that makes sense. I tried to take a sip of my drink and spilled it all over myself. Everyone was looking at me.
"Can I have a napkin please?" I said awkwardly.
Zenitsu shot up from his chair, "I'll get it."
He gets a napkin and hands it to me.
"Thanks." I said cleaning myself up.
"Are you feeling okay y/n chan? You're acting a little weird." Zenitsu said.
"I mean, I feel like it's been a long day for all of us, has it not?" I replied
"y/n," Tanjiro spoke up, "I couldn't help but notice that, when you walked into the room, you smelt a little bit like alcoh-"
"You guys shouldn't worry about me! I'm fine. I'm as fine as I can be right now." I said, cutting Tanjiro off. I finished my food quickly and left the room, tripping a little when I went down the hall. This is so embarrassing.
A couple minutes later, Zenitsu came to check up on me.
"Y/n chan, are you here?" Zenitsu asked
"Mmhmm...." I said, hiding under the blanket.
He opened the door.
"Y/n chan?" He comes and sits on my bed. "Are you going to tell me what you did?"
I peeked outside of the blanket to see his face. He looked really worried about me. I hide back inside the blanket. "I...I uhh...."
"Y/n chan..." He said to me seriously.
He knows how I try to make things seem not as bad when I tell him something that I don't want to tell him.
"Okay, I had a little something to drink... only a little though and I'm not a lightweight so it's fine!"
"Y/n!" Zenitsu said, "You're under age! Why would you do that?"
"I was just a little stressed out okay? Also it's not like I haven't done it before-"
"Y/N!!!! You can't be doing that! Where are you even getting alcohol!?"
"It's fine, calm down! I got it legally! I got it from Te-" I stop myself.
He threw the blanket off of me and held gently to make me look at him.
"Who?!" Zenitsu stared at me as if my eyes would have the answer. I stubbornly look away. "It doesn't matter." I say. He looks at me and gets really close to my face. Our noses touched. "Who was it?" He paused for a second. "I'm not mad, I just want to know you're safe."
"You're not lying?" I asked
"I would never lie to you." Zenitsu said.
We blush at each other.
"Tengen Uzui." I mumbled.
"He gives you alcohol?" He said, pretending to be calm.
"Sometimes, I don't usually really want it but he doesn't really have anyone to drink with since his brothers died so I decide to drink with him."
Zenitsu looks at me with his worried expression.
"You're too kind, y/n chan. Is there anything I can get for you?" Zenitsu asked
"Nothing that I can't get for myself."
"No no no, don't give me that. You need to rest now."
"I'm fine! My legs still work, I'm not that drunk."I try to get up
"Nope," He pushes me gently back on the bed, "It's my job as your boyfrie-"
He stops himself and looks at me and blushes.
"Boyfriend?" I say giggling, "I like the sound of that. It has a ring to it. Don't you think so?"
He grabs my hands and blushes uncontrollably.
"Do you mean that?! You're not just saying that because you're drunk right!?" He screams excitedly
I kiss him on the cheek
"I mean it."
He almost toppled over with happiness. I bury my face in my hands. I can't believe I just said that. He moved my hands away from my face.
"Awww, y/n chan! Why would you cover your beautiful face like that?" He said playing with me. He couldn't stop smiling.
"Now, my girlfriend, y/n chan, is there anything I could get for you? Anything at all?"
I blush and look down. He's gonna really overuse the word girlfriend from now on, isn't he?
"Water would be nice." I softly said
"Okay my sweet, beautiful, loveable girlfriend, y/n chan! I will gladly get you some water!"
He said, still smiling and skipping out of the room.
When he came back, he got me water and dandelions from the backyard.
"Awww thank you Zen!" He looks at me
"ZEN! ZEN?! DID YOU GIVE ME A NICKNAME Y/N CHHAAAAAAAN!? DID YOU FINALLY GIVE ME A NICKNAME!!!!!!????"
"Yeah...." I chuckle and blush
"Zen~ Zen~ Zen~, y/n chan called me Zen~" he repeated to himself as he started to walk out the door.
"No!" I grabbed his hand.
"Y/n chan! Are you okay?!" He asked
I look down
"Please don't leave me."
"Tell me, what's wrong y/n chan?" Zenitsu bends down a little to see my face.
"I....I'm scared...." I say, kind of ashamed.
He cups my face in his hands. "It's okay y/n chan, what are you scared of?"
My lip starts to quiver. "I'm scared that I'm going to have another bad dream like I did on the train."
"Y/n chan, you were under a spell then. You'll be fine now!" He tried to comfort me.
I close my eyes tight
"canyousleepwithmetonightzen" I said under my breath.
He gasps, "I think I misheard you y/n chan, can you repeat that?" I knew he heard me the first time but I said it again anyway.
"Zen, if you don't mind, can you please sleep with me tonight?" I repeated.
"Well-I you- you know- I uh- what if- um-" He stuttered nervously.
I tensed up. "You don't have to if you don't feel comfortable or don't want to. I'm sorry I pressured you."
"No! I'll do it! I don't mind at all!" He said, his face redder than I've ever seen it.
"Are you sure? I really don't want to force you..." I said
"I've never been more sure of something in my entire life!" He screamed.
I turn all red.
"Thank you."
The entire night, he seemed really nervous, like he was gonna mess up or something. I got in bed and he did too. He seemed to be really far away from me.
"Do you ummmm...." I blush," do you have enough room, cause I could scooch over."
"Yeah! I'm fine!" He said nervously.
"What about covers? Do you have enough covers?"
"Yep." He said
"Okay..." I say awkwardly. I go over and kiss him on the forehead.
"Good night Zen!"
He blushes, "Night, y/n chan"
I went to sleep really quickly but I was scared I was gonna keep up Zenitsu with his good sense of hearing. Of course, I had one of my bad dreams that I have every night. I was trying to stay as quiet as possible but I kept hyperventilating. I tried holding my breath but it wasn't working. I wish this girl would stay out of my head. I hate that no matter how long ago it was that she still had a choke hold on my life in some way. I hate-
Zenitsu comes up behind me and hugs me.
"It's okay y/n, I'm here." He whispered. I could tell by his voice that he just woke up.
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?"
"Don't worry about me y/n. I would gladly wake up to comfort you any time."
I turn towards him.
"Thank you, Zen, that really helps." I smile and blush. "I'm glad I'm not dealing with this by myself anymore." He blushes back and hugs me tighter. I slowly drift off to sleep.