─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
chapter 1: intro
i kicked my foot continuously into the door. the overfilled tote on my shoulder started slipping down to my hand that held another tote. "coming!" is faintly heard through the door, before the latch begins clanking on the other side; revealing sasha.
"take any longer?" i tiffed, before stumbling my wide load through the doorway.
"sorry! con was being soo loud," she replied, smacking the remaining food in her mouth.
i laughed through my nose, unloading the food onto the counter top. it was my second year at sina university, and sasha and i decided to room together. and some other girl.. hitch i think? neither of us have even met her, and she was supposed to be here last week. sasha starts filling through the bags. i think she's helping at first, but i realize she's searching for food. "if you keep eating like this, you're gonna be paying for two thirds of the grocery bills," i warn her. all of our friends know how big her appetite is; but now i'll have to deal with it firsthand.
"such a buzzkill, i'm starving from all this decorating!" she sighs.
"dude what the fuck, you hung up a single lesbian pride flag?" i motion toward her open room door. i spot connie; completely manspread on her stripped mattress, playing fortnite on the console. "exactly, that took me a solid hour. i kept hammering the nails off center," sasha replied.
"you used NAILS, this is a dorm!" i pushed her shoulder lightly.
behind us, the front door squeaked open. both our heads shoot over, revealing a girl with short blonde hair walking though. she carried more bags than i was just a minute ago. there seemed to be luggage strapped to every part of her body. she began to set a few down while speaking, "i'm hitch!"
"we were wondering when you were gonna show up!" sasha exclaims, her voice 10 pitches higher than before. i turn my heard towards the floor to hide my chuckle; always getting overly excited when she meets new people. "my flight got delayed, it was a whole thing," her tone changed to defensive in the blink of an eye. "wheres my room at?" she inquires.
sasha and i both lift our arms, pointing to the left of us. first come, first serve, she got the smallest room with no windows. she walks over to her room, hauling a few of the bags she carried in. "damn, i was hoping she wouldn't show. whole place to ourselves would've been so nice." sasha speaks lowly into my ear.
"right.. free guest room," i whisper back. my attention is turned back toward our groceries. "i can't believe classes start tomorrow, i don't wanna go," i complain to sasha while separating the colds from pantry foods. "i know, but at least we'll have reiner's party to go to!"
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
hitch stayed in her dorm for the remainder of the night, her luggage stayed by the doorway. luckily, i only had two classes today: brit lit and calculus. halfway to my class, i spot a familiar blonde. "ARMIN SHMARMIN," i direct my shout in front of me. armin turns his head, and so do the few around us, shooting me dirty looks. i giggle and walk up to armin, who has now stopped walking, his head facing the pavement below. "don't be so loud!" he tells me, pink covering his cheeks.
"sorry, sorry," i laugh, "what class are you going to?"
"organic chem with hange, you?" armin was a marine biology major, and was always taking the hardest courses he wasn't required to take. "brit lit, but i'm taking ackerman again. i was too late and everything else was full," i huff out a response.
"come on, he's not that bad," he tried to persuade me. always seeing the bright side of things. armin drifts off from my side, saying we had reached his classroom. i say my goodbyes, and continue the familiar walk to the classroom. ackerman was famous around campus for two reasons. his heights, if you know what i mean, and his extremely strict and aggravating policies. opening the door to the room, the powerful scent of lysol pricks at my nose. i scrunch my face up, and look around for a seat. perfect, i think, spotting a few empty seats in the back.
taking my seat, i glance out the windows, looking down on the courtyard. the main reason i chose sina was for the view; great pine trees filled the center of the quad. the sycamore's had already started changing colors to burnt yellows and oranges. i turn my attention away from them to the shuffling next to me. a tall boy sits down; face pale and drawn, dark purple sitting under his green eyes. i work my eyes down his body; his tattooed arms are exposed. something that looks like a centipede wraps and twists around his right arm. his shirt sleeve on his upper arm covers it, but it looks like it extends to his back. silver rings adorn his fingers. he pays me no attention; and none to ackerman when he finally starts his lecture.
"you can read the syllabus online after class," he begins, "today were starting with the anglo saxons." ackermans' voice becomes distant in my mind. i'm suddenly hyper aware of my body with the boy sitting so close to me. can he hear me breathe? fuck, my posture, my double chin is def showing; i care like he's actually looking at me. time hangs in the air for the duration of class; i can't help but sneak glances to my left. my eyes act on their own; as if drawn to him. fuck, my whole body was drawn to him. it was an unexplainable feeling; but i couldn't help feeling addicted to him.
i didn't even realize ackerman was done with his lecture until raucous shuffling could be heard around the classroom, and i noticed students taking their leave. as i unsteadily got up from my chair, a phone is jabbed into my torso, "your number," comes from the voice next to me. "in case i need it," his voice is husky, like he hasn't slept in ages. his tone is bored, like asking was a chore.
"yeah in case," i tease him, but my tone elicits no response from him. who was he to make demands anyway? jotting in my number, he takes his phone back, reading my name. "y/n..." his voice was smoother this time, more intoxicating. i finally made eye contact with him as he looked up from his phone.
"eren," face still void of emotion as he introduced himself. my eyes widen a bit, and i turn to hastily make my way out of the class. could it be? i didn't think he was ever gonna come back. the name was one i heard sparingly. my friends didn't really bring him up anymore; their eyes were somber everytime they did. he dropped out of sina the year i started; just totally disappeared apparently. my mind was running through so many thoughts. i didn't imagine him to be so gruff? even with the few memories they shared, eren seemed like a light in their lives. but the person i just met... he was dull; life was lackluster for him. what happened?
in the courtyard just outside of the dorms, the skin on my back began to crawl, and my brain forced my neck to turn. nothing is out of the ordinary, just other students passing me as i continue my walk to the dorms. but the feeling of eyes intently watching me doesn't go away.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
back in the privacy of my own room, i start to unpack the remaining boxes. it still remains barren and the air is stale from being empty all summer. 'beware' by deftones is playing loudly, but i turn my attention toward the door when i hear the volume drop. "wear this tonight;" sasha throws a black dress my way, removing her other hand from the stereo. i grab it, unfolding the crumbled heap she threw it in. the lace trim makes it more my style.
(this is just what I envisioned)
"i guess it'll work, i just don't know how siked i am about going." parties have never really been my favorite; too many loud people in one place. sasha never understood, she made friends everywhere she went. it was easy for her. "you never want to but you come anyway," sasha rolls her eyes lightly, "it is the first party of the year."
"yeah, yeah, i know." rolled my eyes back. "should we invite hitch?" sasha's question hangs in the air. hitch seemed a little off kilter. or maybe she just didn't like us much; but it would give us an opportunity to bond. "sure, as long as you ask and not me."
"okay i will, if we even get a chance to see her leave her room tonight," she nipped the last comment in. the obsessive thoughts of eren were persistent and nagging ever since class ended. an itch i couldn't reach. before i could process my thoughts, "why did eren leave sina?" left my mouth.
"eren?" sasha asked, a furrowed look on her brows. "is he back?" even more confusion clouded her face. i replied with an affirmative, and she leaned into the wall behind her. "honestly, none of us really even know. he just left after first year. the confusion was wiped from her face and she just looked sad. "he didn't even tell mikasa and armin, it was so fucked."
"i can't believe he didn't tell anyone he was coming back though. well, i can but still." sasha pushed herself from the wall, going to the bed to fiddle with the dress; nervous habit. "so you have no idea why he left in the first place," i couldn't help but probe for more information. everything i learned confused me more. "nothing concrete, but we figured it might've been because of jean and historia," she name dropped. hearing all three names in one sentence definitely threw me for a loop. jean was one of my closest friends. and historia? a rabid sorority bitch most of us tried to avoid at all costs. i didn't even realize she KNEW jean.
i was about to push the topic even further, but sasha was quick to change the conversation, "speaking of jean he said he was gonna pick us up at like 10ish." sasha made her way back to the open door, and i followed her into the living room. for the first time since yesterday, hitch was out of her room.
looking over to sasha, i popped my eyes open wide to signal her, "hey hitch, there's a party at our friends frat do you wanna come with our group?"
hitch looked up from her meal prep in the kitchen, "are you talking about reiner's party?" she asked. "i'm actually gonna go with some girls i met in class today." she left her room today?! i can't say i was bummed by her answer. she leaned her arms on the kitchen island, unlocking her phone to scroll on her phone. sasha and i exchanged a look that said, "conversation over, i guess," we hid the smiles that peeked through.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
connie takes his eighth hit of the night, and we're still parked outside of the house. "don't be so greedy," jean says, ripping the blunt away from connie and taking another hit of his own. "i paid for it," connie rolls his eyes, " i'll see you in there though." he jets out of the car, and sasha is quick to do the same. "meet me in the basement!" she exclaims, pecking me on the cheek.
jean and i remain in the car, waiting for the weed kick in. i can't be around that many people at once otherwise. "i didn't know you knew historia," i pop the question out of nowhere. he shoots me a weird look from the drivers seat, "everyone knows her y/n.. where'd you even hear that?"
"eh, the grapevine," i laugh out, bringing my face to rest on the back of his seat. "good to go in?" he asks sincerely. i nod, and he opens his door before coming to my side and opening mine.
the music was already giving me a headache just from the front lawn. it vibrated through my skull, making my steps stutter. "move it, mamma," jean said, slapping my ass as he walked up behind me. i whipped around to push on his chest, "i told you not to call me that, its fucking weird," i laughed at him. jean and i were friends, but i'd be lying if i said we've never fucked. there's no feelings; it's always been about opportunity.
once we walked in, he parted a way through the sweaty bodies. "can you get me a drink," i yelled into his ear, on my tiptoes to get as close as possible. he made his way over to the kitchen to pour a shot, while i surveyed the room. i spotted hitch's short hair, and next to her was another familiar blonde. historia. my mood would've been soured if there wasn't a drink coming my way. "your beverage, my lady," jean handed me my cup with a low bow.
"ah, thank you my liege," i said before chugging half of the drink. jean took a few sips from his own, before placing his hand on my shoulder and leading me into the next room; reiner's basement.
he supposedly only let 'close friends' in, but i've never seen less than thirty people in it. but it's sufficiently less crowded from the rest of the house, so i couldn't complain. descending the steps, i see my friends grouped together on the couches. reiner, standing at the forefront with ymir and bertholdt close by, sasha on connie's lap, and mikasa with oh my god. eren. eren was here too.
our eyes quickly locked contact, but i diverted mine quickly. it felt wrong to look at him. next to him, mikasa shot up her hand in a short wave, before turning her attention back to him. with nothing to occupy me, reiner closed the space between us, crushing me with a hug, "i haven't seen you in forever y/n!" he muffled into my neck. i literally saw him last week getting coffee, but he was just like that. can't believe i really dated him.
reiner tended to ramble a bit, so i turned my attention away from him, and onto bertholdt. "hey bert!" i exclaimed. i was genuinely happy to see him, we got close after reiner and i broke up; he's like my little brother. reiner started spending less time with our group after making the football team and joining a frat; but bert was always by his side.
over on the couch, sasha makes a motion to call me over with her arms. i grab jean's wrist and drag him over, careful to avoid eren and the other drunk bodies that fill the space of the basement. "told you the dress would look good on you," she smirks over at me.
"yeah, my stylist never misses," i giggle back, and poke connie's cheek. "not gonna say hi to me con?" i direct towards him, taunting him. sasha answers for him, "he's a little greened out right now," as she places her hand on his jaw and wiggles around his face. both of us cackle at his eyes looking into another dimension. i look towards ymir, who sparks up her bong. jean calls her over, asking for a hit.
the bong gets passed around our group, and the voices around me are less suffocating after a few more hits. ymir always has the best stuff. i curl my legs into jeans open legs, putting my hands around his torso. "ymirr i saw your girlfriend upstairs," i tease over at her.
she gives me a snide look, "what girlfriend," she asks. i can see the gleam in her eyes she tries to hide, you know exactly who i'm talking about. who would've thought; the plug and the princess hooking up.
"heard you got ackerman for english again," jean steals my attention back. the muffled voices around me tell me everyone is in their own conversation. the world around me blurs, except for jean. "ugh yeah, at least i know what to expect from him," i continue, "i heard you might be fratting it up with reiner this year," while poking at his chest.
jean's face gets a bit red; from alcohol or blushing, i'm not sure. "eh maybe, but that's really just what reiner thinks," he explains, lightly tracing my thigh with his hand. 'yeah.." i trail off, bringing my hand up to grasp his neck. he brings his face down, locking lips with mine. the feeling is good; familiar, but there's no fireworks. there never has been.
i adjust my hips to fit fully on his lap now, he slips his tongue into my mouth. i feel his hands go under the hem of my dress, now tracing my ass. ew, bet we look like a hallway couple, i huff out a small laugh at the thought. i'm shaken to reality when a bitter scoff that breaks through the barrier of muffles. opening my eyes, eren is shaking his head, a look of disgust on his face. a pit forms in my stomach, why do i even care what he thinks? i ask myself, but my mood is ruined.
jean stops kissing me, and i'm able to turn my head completely and watch eren briskly move towards the door leading to the stairs. jeans grip on my body tightens as eren disappears. even after he's gone, i keep my eyes trained to the spot he was last in.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───
a/n: honestly i don't really like this chapter but the next ones are better i promise!