Chapter Twelve
Elle: I saw the relationship timeline People has come out with for yours and Justin's secret relationship. I'm pretty much convinced. [Winking face]
Ashley: I'm not sure of anything anymore.
Elle: All kidding aside? Are we finally being serious about this?
Ashley: Yes, be serious about this for a minute. But just a minute.
Elle: Ashley, I've been trying to get a read on your feelings for him for years.
Ashley: He's been my best friend for years, that's all. But...I think something is different. I just don't know if it's different enough to change the status quo.
Elle: As your actual best friend, I can tell you that he's been more than your best friend for a while. The rest of us have just been waiting to see if the two of you would figure it out. Mack and I have a bet going.
Ashley: Minute's over.
Elle: I love you. Let me know if you need to talk.
***
Ashley arrived at the recording studio the next morning to find Logan in the control booth with another man, one she vaguely remembered working with on her first day in the studio. Logan greeted her with a warm smile, especially when she held out an assortment of chocolate candy bars to him.
"You didn't want to relive the semi-sweet chocolate chips again? We still have half a bag left," he asked with a laugh as she tossed all the candy on the couch.
"I've decided they may be fine for cookies, but definitely not for snacking on when that chocolate craving hits." She grinned back at him, "If we're going to be spending more time working together, you're going to need to maintain this chocolate supply."
He met her gaze, "If that's what it takes to work with you, I'll start a stockpile."
A gruff laugh behind them broke into their conversation and Logan motioned to the other man, "This is Greg, we've been working together on projects for the last couple years."
The other man took his time turning to look at her, and Ashley took in his appearance, almost the complete opposite of Logan's clean cut look. Greg also looked significantly older than Logan, his brown hair, threaded with silver, was worn long and in a pony-tail down his back. His clothes were layered and not neat and buttoned up like Logan's tended to be.
The striking differences were magnified by his gravely voice when he did finally turn to look at her, "We met last week, before you had to go ruin the song we'd written with your duet."
"Oh, yeah," Ashley said, pulling a face behind his back at Logan. "Good to meet you again."
"Yeah, we'll see," he grumbled, handing her a music score for a song called, Last to Know. "Do you think you can pull off a ballad on your own?"
She saw Logan was trying not to laugh at Greg's pointed words, she remembered him saying that they were opposites in every way and that seemed like it was probably the truth. Ashley decided to see if she could win him over. Probably. Ashley pulled a chair next to him at the soundboard, "Can you play the music for me? I'll sit here so I can ask you any questions I have before we start recording."
She hadn't been that direct before, and she saw Greg's gray eyes appraise her again. His gaze wasn't approving yet, but he was at least paying attention. Taking in this interaction in herself, Ashley realized she'd been pretty checked out that first day. She hadn't realized it at the time, but actually working in the studio and seeing what went into a song's production had made her realize that she could do more than just come in and put her voice to music. There was a story to be told in each song and she was ready to tell this one if they'd let her.
Greg played the song for her and she leaned in to ask him about a couple of the spots on how he wanted things done on the song. By the end of the song, they were both leaning in, heads nearly touching as he talked her through the bridge into the finale.
When the song finished, she grabbed the music and stood, "I think I can get it."
Logan walked her to the sound booth, "That was some pretty impressive smoozing you did in there."
She laughed and shook her head, "Not smoozing. I just realized that when a songwriter hands over their lyrics they might have an idea of what they want. I'm learning."
Ashley took her place behind the microphone and made sure she could see the music, getting everything adjusted to her liking. She pulled the headphones over her ears and gave her usual thumbs up to the guys, waiting for the music to play in her ears.
She counted the beats then leaned in and started to sing. She meant what she'd said to Logan, the things Justin had taught her over the last week had made an impression. If she was going to give her fans a love letter in this last album, she wanted to put her soul into these songs.
When she finished she looked up at the men, both were smiling at her, "Well, I had my doubts," Greg admitted, "but you can sing. I'd be happy to work with you any day. The bridge needs some work though."
"You should take that as a compliment," Logan's voice piped in over the speaker and Ashley laughed.
"Play back the bridge then," she said with a laugh, "you gotta give me a couple takes on that."
She worked with the two men all morning on the ballad until they had it just like they wanted it. They were about to move on to the next song when Lynn showed up with Lance and lunch for everyone. Lynn was winning bonus points for her with everyone it seemed. Lance was in an excellent mood compared to the last time they'd been in the studio together.
"I heard this morning went well," Lance commented as he looked between the two producers and Ashley.
"Finished the whole song," Greg said as he gulped a bite of the sandwich he was eating. There was more pride in his voice than Ashley would have anticipated, but she was glad she seemed to have sort wormed her way past his grumpy façade. "I thought we were going to have to have someone come in for some background vocals on that one, but she pulled it off without any issues. We'll send it off for mixing and get started on the next song today too."
"Didn't you work on something yesterday?" Lance asked Ashley.
"Oh I can-" Logan started to stand, but Ashley caught his eye and shook her head.
"I did, but it's not ready yet," for reasons she didn't want to analyze, she wasn't ready for Lance to hear Superman yet.
"That's not what I heard from the mixing engineer," Lance challenged.
Ashley met his familiar green eyes without backing down, "It's not ready yet. When we're done eating, maybe the guys can show you what we recorded this morning."
"Will I get all the songs on my weekly report?" Lance asked.
"I don't know yet," Ashley said with a shrug, "We'll have to see what is ready for you."
"I'd like you to have at least twenty songs recorded so we have some options for the album. I was thinking of moving you up to New York to work with some other producers next week."
Ashley tilted her head in Lynn's direction, "Did you talk to my manager? She's already got me working with some new producers this next week. In Memphis I believe."
"We've been invited to that too," Greg put in, motioning between Logan and himself.
That was news to Ashley, but she decided she wasn't mad about it. She had enjoyed working with Logan this last week and she liked Greg, despite, or maybe because of his lack of social graces.
"Memphis, huh?" Lance questioned, he looked back at Lynn. "That's not going to do much for the rumors."
"Lance," Lynn said calmly, "like I told you earlier, the rumors just create a buzz and excitement. Take the free publicity for what it is."
"Is anyone going to tell me about these rumors?" Ashley asked, her tone bored as she crumpled up the paper her lunch had been wrapped in. She grabbed her water bottle and took a drink as all four of them exchanged looks. She must really be the last to know then.
Lance cleared his throat, "There's been some pictures released today of you and Justin home shopping."
She spit the water out.
"Shit, Ashley!" Lance groaned as he grabbed at the stack of napkins on the table and tried to wipe the water off of him. She'd showered him pretty good and she didn't feel the least bit bad about it.
"Well I feel like you probably deserved that!" She insisted, jumping to her feet walking away from the group. She grabbed her phone from where she'd left it and hit a few buttons, leaving it on speaker phone so they could all hear as the other person answered.
"Well bestie," Elle answered, "I didn't know we were house shopping for two last night."
"We weren't," Ashley growled. "Do you remember the house we saw with the loft? Can you and your dad work with the realtor to get that under contract-in just my name?"
Elle's laughter rang through the room as the others looked on, stunned, "I'm glad we're gonna be neighbors. We'll get right on it. Dad will get in touch with you once he has all the paperwork you'll need."
"Tell him thank you," she said before she hung up. She missed wall phones right then; she could use a good slamming hang up.
She met Lance's stunned, still dripping face, "Will that help?"
He shook himself, "Alright then, we'll just make that public knowledge then." He grinned a little, "I'm just gonna back slowly away, k? I'm excited to hear, uh...what you guys have worked on this week."
Ashley turned back to the others, Lynn was grinning like the Cheshire cat and Logan and Greg still watching her in stunned silence. "I'll be right back and we can get back to work, but the next song better not be a ballad," she threatened as she headed out of the room.
"We may need to change things up," she heard Logan say to the others as they got up to get back to work.
***
Ashley took a bathroom break, then went outside to breath in the fresh air for a few minutes. Her body, used to the tour schedule and performances she'd been keeping up the last few months, was aching with her lack of any serious movement recently. She knew there was part of her that needed this rest and change of pace, but the rest of her was calling to get back into the dance studio. Maybe that's why Justin never stopped.
She wished she'd brought her phone with her; Justin would tell her not to worry about the rumors. But, a part of her was still wanting to hear his voice tell her it wasn't a big deal.
She shook her head, pulling her hair into a high ponytail, "You need to pull yourself together," she whispered to herself, hoping that it would help to hear the words out loud. Then she took off in a run around the parking lot, pushing herself into several laps until she was completely breathless.
Lynn met her at the door as she was heading back in, she was still grinning in a mysterious way as she let Ashley catch her breath. "I talked to the Radio Music Festival people today, and they want you to perform next month. If you're okay with that, I think we should talk to Wade or Darren and see if they can start working on a routine."
"I'm not working with Wade," Ashley said in a matter of fact tone that didn't leave room for argument.
"I figured," Lynn said with a sigh and a nod. "He is married now, so I'm sure things have changed, he is a genius at awards show performances."
"I'm happy he's moved on with his life, and he didn't get caught up in the crossfire of everything that happened. But I'm not working with him. Darren can create just as eye-catching performances-iconic ones. Bye, Bye, Bye will live forever."
Lynn nodded, "I'll make a call and see if we can get him on board. We'll start shuttling him all your finished tracks so he can get an idea of where you're going."
Ashley tried to laugh as she teased, "It would be nice for someone to tell me where I'm going. I'd better get back in there so he has something to work with."
She went back inside to the odd looks of some of the others in the lobby.
"Nothing to see here," she mumbled as she went back to studio three where Logan and Greg were conferencing.
"I think she can pull it off," Greg said, surprising Ashley with a wink as she came up behind them. "We've got a song for you," he said, handing her the score to Stronger.
She skimmed the lyrics and felt herself grin and immediately nod her approval.
"We were saving this one, but we want you to try it. Greg is really good when it comes to synthesized sound, and I told him you were interested in learning more about all aspects of production, so this could be something new for you to work on."
She let the excitement spread through her, "Let's do it!"
"We're gonna break this one down a little more than usual," Greg said as he started working on the board. "I'm going to have you go in and just record three words five or six times, then we're going to go on like that line by line. It's going to be unique."
The song took far longer to record than Ashley had anticipated, but she loved it. She loved that Greg had her coming into the control room between takes and walked her through what he was doing. He used the different faders and sliders to stretch her voice into different sounds to give new dimensions to the song.
She liked that they'd picked this one for her to try, its message breaking free. They had some laughs as Greg tried to record the sound of her breathing into the microphone, making it sound like she'd been running through the dramatic bridge of the song. She felt her cheeks color some as Greg directed Logan into the booth with her, he pressed her face even closer to the mic than usual as they tried to get just the right sound.
Logan rolled his eyes, "It's just breathing. Who knew breathing would be so tricky to record."
"Why don't you kiss her?" Greg said over the speaker. "That should do something to her breathing, if you do it right at least."
They both looked away from each other in embarrassment, Ashley caught Logan trying to subtly run a hand across his throat in a cut it out motion.
"I could run around the building again," Ashley suggested as she cleared her throat.
Greg shrugged like he didn't care either way, "There's more than one way to skin a cat."
Ashley broke out into giggles, it was getting late and it had been a long day. "I'll be back."
She heard Logan start in on Greg as she went out into the hallway, but she didn't stick around to eavesdrop. The building seemed pretty empty, she made another trip to the bathroom, then ran some sprints up and down the hallway before making her way back to the studio. She leaned right into the microphone, breathed in the way Greg had been coaching her on for a quarter of an hour and then spoke the words in her still breathless voice.
When she finished, she raised her eyebrows at the two men behind the glass, "I think we've got something." Greg assured her, waving her back into the booth to listen.
"It won't sound like I'm dying and out of breath?" She asked as he replayed what he had captured.
"Just trust me," he said, not looking up, continuing his ever loving focus on the sounds he was creating. "Once we get this all layered together and mixed, it's going to be fantastic. It's going to be unlike anything you've sung before."
Ashley checked the time on her phone, it was close to ten. "I didn't realize it was so late, I need to get going and get packed for tomorrow."
"Can you stop in tomorrow morning?" Greg asked, not looking up.
"I think so," she said, "Lynn was going to try to get a dance workout in for me at some point tomorrow, but I'll try to get in here before that."
"I'll walk you to your car," Logan said as she gathered her things.
He held the doors for her as she headed into the parking lot, it was dark and there were only three vehicles parked out front. "About tomorrow," Logan began as they came to a stop near her car, "Justin invited us to Memphis but, I don't want to come if that will make things weird."
"You should come," Ashley said, flashing him a smile, "I don't know what it's going to be like. You might have a better idea than I do. You'll probably actually know of some of the people he's bringing in."
Logan laughed a little, "It is a pretty big deal. He has an impressive production career and he's worked with some of the biggest names in the business."
"I forget that about him," Ashley admitted. To her, Justin was just Justin but the audition the day before had reminded her that he was something of a big deal in his business. She opened her door, and glanced back at Logan, "You should come."
***
Justin watched intently through the window into the recording studio, listening to the sound and trying to capture where they wanted to go with the song. "Got it!" he said, finishing on the soundboard as next to him, Timbaland hummed his approval.
"I like it," Tim said, glancing at the computer screen to ensure they had captured everything.
"Sounds good Pharrell," Justin spoke into the booth as his friend pulled off the headphones. Working with these two always sent Justin back to memories of his first solo album, that was the first album where he'd been on his own, without the Nsync guys to fall back on and having these two producers to work with had been a huge help. He was forever grateful for the things they had taught him.
"You ready for me to sing?" Justin looked up in surprise at the female voice, he'd forgotten that Nichole was there. She trailed fingers down his arm, giving him a secretive smile, "Or are we all ready for a break for something more fun?"
"What do you boys think?" Justin asked, directing his gaze away from her.
"We're always ready to hear you sing," Pharrell told Nichole, grabbing her hand and twirling her in a dance move as he directed her towards the sound booth.
Pharrell had introduced Justin to Nichole more than a month earlier, she was an accomplished singer and songwriter with an impressive resume. She'd been fun the one night out they'd spent before he had left for Sweden, and when Pharrell had mentioned this weekend they had planned, Justin hadn't had a second thought about inviting her.
He knew, had known at the time, the expectation he was giving her by inviting her, but he suddenly wished he hadn't invited her on a whim. He wasn't interested in her, not like he knew she was in him.
"Ready Tennman?" Tim asked, shaking Justin from his thoughts.
"You run the board," Justin said, standing up, "I've gotta run to the airport in a few minutes to pick up my mom and Ashley."
"I heard you were house shopping with her," Tim winked at Justin who rolled his eyes. The rumor had potential relationship timeline articles popping up in magazines everywhere. He was almost convinced they'd been dating for years.
"I didn't think your friend was interested in music production," Pharrell stated as he and Tim worked the board to set it up for recording Nichole's vocals. "She's always turned down my songs."
Justin laughed, "If I know the songs you've sent her, then of course she did. But she's full of surprises."
Behind their backs, he rubbed his hand across his chin and cheek where Ashley's lips had left something of an invisible burn on his face. He couldn't get her, her kiss, or her conversation with him out of his mind. He didn't know if she knew it or not, but she'd made some cracks in the armor he'd worn for years and he couldn't stop thinking about her. He couldn't wait to see her again.
"Ready, Honey?" Pharrell asked Nichole and she flashed them all a smile, her eyes lingering on Justin as she nodded.
Justin checked the time again and caught the attention of Tim, waving as he headed out of the studio.
***
By the time Ashley and Lynn arrived at the airport the next afternoon, Ashley was already exhausted. She'd gotten to the studio early where Greg had her work on a few more background vocals for Stronger. Greg had played her the preliminary mix and she was beyond excited about the unique sound they were crafting. While she didn't want to completely change her vocal style, the experience had been eye-opening and she was excited about all the possibilities.
Rushing from the studio, she'd headed to a downtown warehouse where Darren was in town working with another group. He'd carved out some time for an intensive workout with her. Three hours and one sore body later, she'd rushed through a shower, thrown on some black clothes and jumped into the car Lynn had ordered to get them to the airport.
While waiting for the plane to board, Ashley pulled the hood up on the oversized sweatshirt she wore, concealing the Memphis Grizzlies hat she'd borrowed from Justin's room. Her hair, still slightly damp from the shower, was now beginning to dry into unruly curls, falling over her shoulders. She took out her book, tucked her feet up under her, and buried her face in it.
Suddenly, a tap on her book interrupted her reading, and she lowered it to see Logan grinning at her.
"The Death and Life of Superman?" he asked, reading the book's title. "You're full of surprises."
She returned his grin, "I bet most people are if you really get to know them. I'm just always at a disadvantage because people have been told what to think of me."
Logan greeted Lynn and took a seat on Ashley's other side, "Let's see, your favorite color is baby blue? And you're a fan of long walks on the beach?"
She laughed lightly, "something like that. Where is Greg?"
Logan shrugged, "He's not coming. It's his daughter's birthday weekend. She's eight and he wouldn't miss it for the world."
Ashley pursed her lips, "Somehow I can't see him with kids, but I can also see that she's probably got him wrapped around her finger."
"That's a pretty accurate picture," Logan agreed. He looked around, "No bodyguards for you?"
Ashley shrugged, checking that her hood still covered her head, "I've found that if I can travel low key without security, I have better luck not being noticed. On tour and at appearances it's usually a must, but I don't want someone to have to follow me around all day every day. My life's not that exciting."
Logan exchanged an amused glance with Lynn, but he let it pass. "Did you get your dance practice in today?"
She groaned, "I need to be careful what I ask for. Darren spent a solid three hours with me today. He wanted to go over my last show and see what he can use for a medley for a performance. It was good, but exhausting. It's easy to forget what putting on that show does to you every day. A couple weeks without it and your body thinks you've retired or something."
An announcement from overhead caught their attention and they stopped to listen as their flight number was announced and that there would be about a forty minute delay.
"I'll text Justin," Lynn said, pulling out her phone.
Ashley held the book up to Logan, "On to a discussion of our favorite books?"
He laughed, "I'm going to be honest and tell you I wasn't a big reader. Does Harry Potter count?"
"The movies or the books?" She asked him seriously.
"I'm gonna say books?" He said it like a question and she laughed and tucked her book away.
"How about favorite songs," he said instead. "What songs are on the playlist of your life?"
Ashley eyed him closely, "That seems like a pretty intense question for a musical artist and a musical producer to take on."
He pulled out his phone, "Let's make a playlist and download it for the plane. I want to get to know the songs that made you."
"Deal," Ashley agreed, pulling out her own phone.
When the plane finally started boarding, Lynn casually asked Logan where his seat was. It was about four rows back from them. Lynn told him she'd take his seat and walked on past them without giving them any chance for argument.
They took their seats and Ashley pulled out her air pods and handed one to Logan, before pulling up her newly downloaded playlist of the songs that had defined her life. Logan's eyes lit up when her first song played, The Devil Went Down to Georgia, by the Charles Daniels Band. "That's an interesting choice," he mused.
Ashley grinned at the memory, "When I was still in school, it was right around when Coyote Ugly came out. Some kids in my orchestra class asked our teacher if he could play the song. Of course, he could, but he told us he wouldn't play it until we all passed off our scales. The pressure was on for all of us, and the day came when we all finally passed off those scales and our teacher wowed us with this song. It was so fun to see our classical teacher play a violin with that kind of intensity."
"Can you play it?" Logan asked curiously.
She laughed, "My orchestra teacher was also my private teacher, he was fantastic and taught me so much. Including some fiddling."
"What do I have to do to hear that?" Logan asked with a grin.
"You have to pass off all your scales on the violin," she stated, "It's the rule of the song."
He laughed at her teasing, and started the first song on his playlist, Thriller, by Michael Jackson. "You can't get more classic than that," he insisted.
The flight to Memphis was barely two hours and Ashley loved soaking in the experience with Logan and getting to know him better than she had before. Thinking about the songs that defined her life had been eye opening, even for her and a new way to look at the music she'd been trying to push from her life.
With the things that Justin had shown her and the songs she was trying to reclaim, adding this newfound love of old songs made Ashley realize how big the role that music played in her life was. Was she really ready to give that all up?
***
Justin leaned against a pillar near the baggage claim area, trying to strike a casual pose as he scrolled through his social media feeds.
He paused on Ashley's post she'd made that morning, the picture of a mic in the recording studio with just a hint of her reflection in the window behind it. Exciting things are happening! She'd captioned it with several silly hashtags below.
It was probably her subtle attempt to switch the rumors about the two of them to something more music related.
He scrolled past without interacting with the post. No need to fuel the media fire.
Not when he had his own Ashley fire that was in need of cooling. He again ran his fingers absently over his chin and cheek, still feeling the touch of her lips there.
That wasn't normal.
Ashley's spot in his life had always been special and constant. He'd always cared about her deeply, but the spot she currently held in his brain was prime real estate that he usually reserved for projects and work.
He sighed. He was in trouble.
Justin had been telling her the truth when he told her he wasn't good at romantic relationships. That's why he'd more or less avoided them-at least real relationships-for the past several years. They always ended badly.
He knew all of those things, but that didn't stop him from imagining Ashley running down the escalator and jumping into his arms.
The alert on his phone pinged that their flight had landed.
He turned his focus from picturing Ashley jumping into his arms to replaying when his mom had asked him to promise not to kiss Ashley. She said she'd asked it for him, but they both knew he didn't leave hearts intact. That promise was to protect Ashley as well. It was to protect their friendship. He didn't want to lose what he already had with Ashley for the sake of a relationship he knew was doomed to fail.
He looked up at the arriving passengers again and he finally spotted them, just coming down the hallway to the escalators. He chuckled at the nearly twin outfits he and Ashley were sporting. Black joggers, an oversized hoodie with the hood pulled up and over a ball cap. His was her Red Sox cap, hers was his Memphis Grizzly one that he'd left behind.
She followed his mom onto the escalator, they hadn't seen him yet. In fact, Ashley was facing away from him. She was looking at Logan.
Justin found himself very suddenly regretting inviting the producer. He liked working with Logan. He had, past tense, even sort of liked the idea of Logan with Ashley. He seemed like a nice guy. However, all that had changed and Justin was wondering how he could politely ask him to leave.
He couldn't. And he wouldn't. Probably.
Logan leaned his back against the handrail of the escalator so he could face Ashley more directly, they were laughing over something and he watched as Logan pulled an air pod out of his ear and handed it back to Ashley as they reached the bottom of the escalator.
His mom had noticed him first, "Hi baby," she greeted him with a smile and he leaned in to kiss her cheek.
Ashley saw him then and skipped over, she didn't leap into his arm, but she did loop her arm through his, "We made it! What's next party planner?"
He laughed, "Nice outfit, can we switch hats back now?"
She shook her head, turning suddenly serious, "If I take this hat off, the entire airport will know who I am and then it will be a media nightmare."
"Yeah, yeah," Justin rolled his eyes and even Ashley couldn't hold back a giggle at her dramatic overstatement. "Meanwhile, I'm stuck in the hat of a cursed baseball team."
"That curse ended," Ashley assured him. "They are making the playoffs this year."
He looked at her sideways, "Do you actually follow them? Like for reals?"
She held up her phone to show a notification with a game score on it. Boston was ahead.
"You are a mystery to me," he said with a shake of his head. "Let's get your things and get out of here. I can't wait to show you guys the studio and introduce you to everyone. JC and Mackenzie even agreed to come. I think they'll be here tomorrow."
"I invited Logan to ride with us," Lynn told him casually. "No need for him to get an Uber or something when you're already driving out there."
"Of course, man," Justin held a hand out to give him a hand shake, "Glad you could make it."
"We've been working hard the last couple of days," Ashley told him, gesturing between her and Logan in a way that Justin tried not to be jealous of. "We got a couple songs recorded and I'm excited for you to hear them. I even have the coolest music video planned out in my head for one of them!"
That made Justin smile, maybe she wasn't as jaded as she thought she had been. Maybe it had just taken some new people in her life to show her how amazing she was. If Logan helped her to see that, he would try to rein in the jealousy that was coursing through him as they discussed the song he hadn't had anything to do with.