a/n: jaesom enjoyers proceed with caution ❤️🩹
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Once all the members had been revealed, Dasom's heart rate began to escalate. It felt so different being at a concert knowing the artists performing on a personal level. Seeing how many fans were in the arena, it didn't feel real to Dasom that she was there to watch and support them as a close friend to most of them.
And as a girlfriend.
Dasom looked at Mark with a goofy smile on her face as her brain, which was wired to making her a somewhat unserious person, put the rapper girlfriend meme in her mind.
She couldn't be more grateful that she was able to be attending this concert to support him, not as a fan, not as a friend, but as his girlfriend.
There had been so many obstacles to their relationship, and the biggest one was standing right there on stage next to him.
What the hell is wrong with me? Dasom scolded herself internally. Thinking of Jaehyun as an obstacle was completely wrong. He had been her rock through the past year, always so selflessly thinking of her happiness.
Guilt filled Dasom's chest for the first time in a long while as the boys began to perform Kick It. Around her, her friends and the other fans were cheering, pumping their fists, and dancing, but she was frozen.
She'd never properly show Jaehyun any gratitude for everything, had she? Apologies were made, the tension was gone, but no appreciation had ever been given.
Even when the group started performing Love Song, one of her newer favourites, she could hardly concentrate. She tried keeping her focus on Mark, but her gaze kept shifting to Jaehyun every so often.
When everyone but Taeil left the stage, Dasom looked down to see her knuckles turning white as she gripped the barrier in front of her tightly, her lightstick hanging untouched from her wrist.
"Hey, are you okay?" Haru asked from her right. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
"I'm fine," Dasom laughed it off, letting go of the bar and taking hold of the lightstick again. "I just got lightheaded for a second."
"Tell us if you feel sick again," Haru said, passing a water bottle over to her and she nodded, accepting a drink from it.
Getting back to her senses, Dasom was disappointed when she realized how short Taeil's performance was, wanting to keep hearing it. She got what she wanted and more when he was joined on stage by Donghyuck. These two had her favourite voices in the group, and hearing a duet from them helped her immerse herself back into the excitement of the concert.
She glanced over at Haru who was cheering with her lightstick as she watched Donghyuck, feeling relieved that she'd managed to pull her out of her gloomy mood.
Then, she looked over to her left at Juhee who was standing between Nevaeh and Kou, her eyes shining, seemingly transfixed by the same boy. If the smile on her face told Dasom anything, it was that the connection between Juhee and Donghyuck was genuine, and whether it went further or not, she was happy her friend was happy. It reminded her of the way she'd been smiling when she had first seen Mark performing, wanting nothing more than to shower him with praise as soon as she got the chance.
After the rest of the members came back on stage to have a small talking break, the performances kicked off again, and Dasom finally began to jump and dance again to their upbeat music, now getting a better view as they moved to the stage extension for Highway to Heaven.
Once that performance ended, she watched as they all picked up lightsticks from the sides of the stage before their next song, and when she heard Donghyuck sing the words 'Baby last night', her legs almost gave away.
"Soms, isn't this your song?!" Kou yelled, recognizing Breakfast instantly from the hours of NCT marathons Juhee had made him endure.
"Yes!" Dasom screeched, her voice sounding three octaves higher than normal.
She looked around in complete shock at all the bouncing lightsticks accompanied by fans singing along. Hundreds—no, thousands of people were enjoying the performance of a song she had made. As that realization sank in, she thought she might burst into tears, but to be fair, she'd made a really fun song. It was almost impossible to be sentimental about it, so instead, she began jumping and cheering as loud as she could, and took a few videos so she would be able to cherish the moment forever.
It was a good thing she did so, because it ended just as quickly as it started, and the members began leaving the stage again as the lights dimmed.
And when they came back on, there was only one person on stage.
Mark.
He was sitting on a chair wearing a thick fur coat, looking absolutely delicious to her with his short blond hair, manspreading and flipping his mic.
Mark had practiced Vibration with her so many times that she was sure there was no way for her to be surprised by the performance. But clearly she'd underestimated her boyfriend.
She'd completely forgotten what a different person he becomes when he's on stage and in his element. She knew every word of this song by now, but she just watched in pure awe and disbelief as he commanded the stage like this was his solo concert.
"Sexy~" Mark ended his performance, starting to take off his coat, sending the audience into a complete frenzy. Dasom narrowed her eyes at him as she watched him leave the stage.
"How are you feeling after that Desi?" Nevaeh asked, nudging her arm.
"There's no way I'm letting him fall asleep as soon as he gets home," Dasom said simply. "I'm going to fuck him into tomorrow."
Nevaeh burst out laughing, and Haru, who also heard the comment, jumped a little. But Dasom just folded her arms and sat down for the first part of Taeyong's solo stage, thinking about all the things she would do to Mark. After all, it was his fault for being so bloody sexy, to quote him.
Leaving those thoughts to be put into action later, Dasom got up again for the remainder of Taeyong's performance, followed by his duet with Mark. Then came a solo dance performance from Jungwoo, after which one of Dasom's favourite songs began.
"I get you Dasom," Juhee exclaimed as soon as Donghyuck sang his 'Oh you're so crazy' line in Focus. "I'm not letting him sleep either."
"Alright ladies," Kou said, rolling his eyes. "Keep it in your pants, we're in public."
"What's with the glass box..." Haru started to ask, but she stopped herself as they all saw Johnny walking towards it.
"Oh, he's gonna strip for sure," Nevaeh said when he entered the box.
As the song continued, Johnny began to loosen the bathrobe looking outfit he had on. Oh yeah, he was definitely about to strip.
The song merged into an instrumental, and all the lights dimmed except the ones on the glass box that was clearly meant to resemble a shower. Johnny began his dance performance, which was, in all honesty, a literal striptease that probably—definitely—made the entire audience a little feral.
"What just happened...?" Dasom coughed once the lights came back on and they began doing the rest of Focus.
"Did anyone else get hypnotized?" Juhee asked, blinking repeatedly.
"Yeah," Haru said, shaking her head. "Trust I'm going to see his abs in my dreams tonight."
* * *
The lights went out again once the song ended, and this time, when they returned, they illuminated with a focus on the bed that had been on top of the stage during the previous performance, with one member lying down on it.
Dasom's heart unwillingly skipped a beat when she realized it was Jaehyun.
The song began, and chills covered her body as he began humming in the intro.
It's been a long time since you're gone
Still filled up with the scent of your warmth
The instrumental was fairly empty, with snaps filling a majority of it. So why did the sequence of chords seem so familiar to her?
And staring at a blank wall
Drawing what's been natural
Gets way more vivid when I'm lost
Just wandering in the crowd where I'm standing
No matter how much it sways
Listening to the songs we used to relay
Dasom gasped. The instrumental sounded exactly like the piano chords she'd heard Jaehyun playing in his room when she'd gone to their dorm with Mark.
Honestly, wanted to say
"Nobody else," but need you to stay
By any chance, it might've been too late, too late
And could've been obvious
No time to blame
All I want is having you in my day
By now, Dasom's eyes were stinging with tears threatening to fall as she watched Jaehyun stand up and continue singing, eyes closed and pouring his heart and soul into the performance.
The days are empty and without you
It's just me on my side
But when my arms are around you
There's nothing else to crave
"Desi... is this song about—"
"Don't!" Dasom choked. "Don't finish that sentence Nev..."
With that, Dasom's ears turned the music into just a shrill ringing sound, and her vision began to tunnel. She didn't even think about whether she was being a nuisance to everyone around her, she just knew she needed to get out of there.
Practically running out of the concert area, she stumbled around looking for a bathroom as tears began pouring from her eyes.
After wandering around, she found a bathroom and locked herself in one of the stalls, sitting down on the closed toilet and just sobbing her feelings out.
She felt sick to her stomach.
Whether the song really was about her or not, the lyrics had felt like a punch in the gut. How was she supposed to face Jaehyun after this?
She spent the next fifteen minutes or so crying until she felt completely drained, leaving her with a headache. Leaving the stall, she went to examine herself in the mirror and saw how red and puffy her eyes were. Thankfully she'd brought some extra makeup in her bag, so she began fixing up her face, trying to ignore the sharp pain in her head until it went away.
Suddenly, the door to the bathroom swung open, and she dropped her compact into the sink with a start.
"Oh my god, we found you," Nevaeh sighed with relief, walking into the bathroom followed by Kou. "When you didn't come back for a while we got worried."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you miss the performances," Dasom said apologetically.
"Don't worry, Doyoung's solo is over so I'm good," Nevaeh smiled reassuringly.
"Juhee wanted to come too but we didn't want to leave Haru alone," Kou explained. "Are you okay?"
Dasom thought she would start crying again but the tears never came since she felt so empty. "I don't know if that song was really about— about me..." she stuttered. "But I still feel like shit. Even earlier I was thinking about how I treated Jaehyun and I thought I'd brushed those thoughts aside but this brought it all back."
"Look, he probably just wanted to get things out of his system," Kou told her.
"Yeah, and he's a singer," Nevaeh agreed. "What better way is there for a singer to vent out his feelings? It's not a song he made too recently anyway, I don't think he's still hung up over everything that happened with you two."
"You're probably right, but I still feel awful," Dasom said quietly, sinking into a squat and putting her head in her knees. "I need to talk to him, don't I?"
"I think you do," Nevaeh said, kneeling in front of her. "If anything, he's probably just wondering if you like the song or not, not whether you caught any underlying message. Jaehyun wouldn't put you on the spot like that, he's a good guy."
"Yeah, he really is," Dasom said, looking up and nodding. Nevaeh stood up and held out a hand to her, which she took and let herself be pulled up.
"Come on, there's still a concert going on," Kou grinned. "If you make me miss Simon Says I'll never forgive you."
"I wouldn't forgive myself either," Dasom said, finally smiling again, letting her friends lead her out and back to their seats.
Luckily, they made it back right before Simon Says started. As much as she did have fun, the rest of the concert felt like a complete blur to Dasom. The biggest thing on her mind was making things right with Jaehyun.
* * *
Mark could tell Dasom was completely distracted.
Sure, as soon as she saw him backstage, she attacked him with praise and kisses all over his face. But throughout the photo session with all the guests and the ride to the bar they had booked for a concert afterparty, it was clear as day to Mark that her mind was on a different dimension.
And he had a feeling he knew exactly what she was thinking about. Or rather who.
Mark couldn't lie, it irked him to no end knowing that Jaehyun had written an entire song about his girlfriend. In fact, he'd even blown up at Jaehyun when he first realized during their rehearsals. Thank god for Yuta and Taeyong being peacemakers and getting them to talk things out, because Johnny was pretty useless, too busy being amused to help out.
If it had been eating at him on the inside, he could barely imagine how much worse it would have made Dasom feel.
Looking to his right at her, she was silently just staring at her shot glass full of soju, leaving it untouched.
"Hey," he said, moving his hand from her knee to interlock his fingers with hers. With a start, she snapped out of her thoughts and returned to reality, meeting his eyes.
"You should go talk to him," Mark encouraged her, squeezing her hand in his as hers widened in surprise. He spoke again before she could deny anything. "I know you want to."
"Are you sure?" Dasom asked, her eyebrows lining into a worried frown.
"Of course," he nodded with a smile. "The sooner you clear things up with him, the sooner I can have all your attention back on me."
Dasom laughed, his joke helping ease her tension and nerves. Dropping a kiss on Mark's head, she got up and carefully approached Jaehyun's table.
He saw her coming and knew she was heading for him; she could tell by the way he met her eyes and stood up hesitantly. So, she changed course and headed to the back of the bar next to the old arcade machines that looked like they were just for show, and he followed her.
"Wanna play?" Jaehyun asked, and Dasom looked back over her shoulder in surprise.
"These work?"
Jaehyun scooted next to her and reached into his pocket, pulling out his wallet to push a few coins into the pac-man game they were in front of. The game lit up, and the little ghosts and yellow cut circles appeared on the screen, starting to move.
He took control of the game, knowing she was the one who wanted to have a conversation. Dasom took a deep breath, partly stalling because she wasn't even sure what to say. Her mouth opened and closed, no words coming out.
"Yes," Jaehyun sighed, speaking first instead. "The song was about you."
Dasom felt a stinging in her heart. She knew Jaehyun was so full of love, music being one of a few outlets used to express it. It hurt knowing she brought out a more bitter side of it.
"I'm sorry," she finally spoke as Jaehyun narrowly avoided being eaten by a ghost in the game.
"You don't have anything to be sorry for," he said blankly.
"I do," she replied. "I didn't listen to it... I couldn't. I ran away from you again."
This time, Jaehyun wasn't able make a move to dodge the ghosts quick enough, and pac-man ended up being eaten, the sound effect sounding like it was for the way his heart sank instead of the game.
"I felt like I didn't deserve to listen to something so beautifully sad that you made knowing I was the one that made you sad in the first place," she continued speaking while he continued playing. "I don't think I ever understood just how much you really liked me."
Without saying anything as pac-man died again, he reached back and grabbed her hand, pulling her to the game so she could control the keys too. Confused but not resisting, she began controlling the left and right directions while he took the up and down.
"It's not in that way anymore, but I still like you Desi," Jaehyun spoke as they worked together to clear the dots on the screen. "I'm glad you helped inspire a work that I'm genuinely proud of, but the performance wasn't for you. It cathartic to me, and that's what I needed."
"The ups in our time together far outweigh the downs to me," he furthered, and Dasom could see a smile growing on his face from her periphery, the one that always told people he was about to say something he thought was funny.
"I have love for you, but you can chill out," he said. "Because I'm way out of your league anyway."
She had known a joke was coming, but it made her laugh anyway. Her heart eased knowing he felt comfortable enough around her to make light of everything.
"Yeah, you really are," she agreed, biting her lip to stop herself from chuckling more. "I love you too Jae."
"Gross, I never said that," Jaehyun snorted.
"Whatever," Dasom smiled. "Hey, maybe someone actually in your league is in this bar."
"Don't care," Jaehyun shrugged as she turned their pac-man onto the last remaining row of dots. "I'm happy with just myself right now."
The two stepped back and watched as the last dot was eaten, meaning they had successfully cleared the first level. On a reflex, the two high-fived, and their hands clasped as they finally looked each other in the eyes.
"See? We're still good," Jaehyun assured her. "We don't need to talk about it anymore."
"Leaving the past where it belongs," Dasom nodded, smiling at him, and he returned it. "Wanna play the next level?"
Jaehyun looked to his right back at where everyone else was sitting, catching sight of Mark's intense stare before he looked away realizing Jaehyun had caught him.
"I got it covered," he said, rolling his eyes. "Your boyfriend might implode if I keep you here any longer."
"Thanks Jae," Dasom spoke. "I'll listen to your song properly one day, I promise."
* * *
When Dasom finally walked back towards Mark, everyone else was pretty much done for the night. Mark was a little miffed that his time with her had been cut so short, but he was very relieved to see both Dasom and Jaehyun smiling.
The tensions were finally over.
All the 127 members would be taking their vans back to their dorms, so all the other guests split up to take cabs back to their places, with Dasom going to be dropped off on the way before Kou and Juhee in the same Uber.
When Mark kissed Dasom goodbye, she tried really hard not to make a comment about how he should be coming home with her instead, knowing he was tired and that he had another concert to perform the very next night. She knew if she asked he would drop his sleep to come to her, and she didn't want that to happen.
So, she waited until they were apart in different vehicles to tell him how she really felt.
* * *
suikaluvrr
dasom
i can't believe you're not coming home with me :(
mark 🪐🤍
what yo dude :///
mark 🪐🤍
you know i would have come, i thought you would just be too tired, emotionally too
dasom
i thought you'd be too exhausted as well, which is why i didn't say anything
dasom
i honestly wish you were next to me right now
mark 🪐🤍
yeah i'm ngl i wanted to hear more about what you thought of the concert
mark 🪐🤍
it's the first time you've seen me perform after really knowing me ygm??
dasom
yeah, but want me to tell you anyway ??
mark 🪐🤍
duhhh of course
mark 🪐🤍
i value your opinion more than anyone else's atp
mark 🪐🤍
also hearing you praise me is ummm
mark 🪐🤍
nice
dasom
oh? well good thing you're so incredible i can praise the fuck out of you
dasom
you're fucking insane mark lee
dasom
im the luckiest girl on the entire goddamn planet
dasom
like my bragging rights go crazy, the most talented performer ever is mine
dasom
i'm so fucking lucky
mark 🪐🤍
i'm the lucky one to have you
mark 🪐🤍
i'm glad i gotchu on my side des
dasom
shut up
dasom
i don't wanna hear anything about me from you
dasom
right now it's about you
dasom
literally all i could think about while watching you is how badly i needed to kiss you, and how crazy it is that i actually have the chance to do it
dasom
when you did your sticker rap verse i thought i would actually crumble
dasom
it was so fucking sexy
dasom
and don't even get me started on love on the floor
dasom
you were literally seducing me from a mile away
dasom
i wanted to climb over the seats and run on stage, in my head it was just me and you
dasom
you deserve a reward for that performance alone
mark 🪐🤍
fuck desi
dasom
i said shut up!
dasom
who said i was done with you?
dasom
i haven't even talked about vibration
dasom
goddamn it mark lee
dasom
i did not think you could surprise me considering how much i helped you monitor your practice
dasom
but you transform completely when you're on stage, you're so in your element
dasom
the command you have when you're performing? you were so clearly born to do this
dasom
even when you were just sitting there with your legs spread and that mic in your hand?? oh you're really just too bloody sexy
dasom
shame i couldn't get up on that stage and taken care of you right then and there or i would have
dasom
do you know how fucking badly i wanted you in that very moment??
dasom
holy fucking shit mark lee
dasom
you didn't even need to lay a hand on me to drive me crazy, you weren't even trying and you did
dasom
oh the things i would do if you were with me
mark 🪐🤍
tell me
dasom
i'd kiss you like that's all i need to stay alive
dasom
you're like a fucking drug
dasom
i'm addicted to you
dasom
i literally want nothing more than to make you feel as good as you made me feel despite all that distance between us today
dasom
the only thing that was keeping me sane was knowing that i actually can have you
dasom
basically i'm trying to say i want literally nothing more than to suck you off so good that you start to see stars
dasom
i want to hear you moaning for me with that pretty little voice of yours my star
mark 🪐🤍
fucking hell desi
mark 🪐🤍
what did i just let you talk me into
dasom
i just told you how i felt about the concert like you asked :)
mark 🪐🤍
you also told me what you want
dasom
what do you want?
mark 🪐🤍
i want to let you do everything you want to me
dasom
then come to me
mark 🪐🤍
i'm already on my way
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sorry y'all life (uni) just gets in the way 😭
i made sure i wrote well ahead before giving you new updates so you won't be left hanging <3
hope you all are doing well 🫶
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