Amour
I looked over at the ringing mobile which laid on the table. Who could be calling this early ? I reached for the cellphone and stared at the screen. Amarion.
I sighed and debated with myself whether to answer or not. Maybe I should just listen to what he has to say. I slowly moved my finger across the screen and pressed it to my ear. My heartbeat increased. My thoughts clouded.
"Hello?" I quivered. But there wasn't a response. After waiting and getting no reply I was about to hang up when I heard guitar strings moving. Soon, the gradual music turned louder. I couldn't recognise the song though. I remained silent with patience for the lyrics.
"The day I first met you. You told me you'd never fall in love" he sang in his enchanting voice. He was performing the acoustic version of Demi Lovato's song. I paused my thoughts and focused my entire attention on his crooning.
"But now that I get you, I know fear is what it really was. Now here we are so close yet so far. Haven't I passed the test? When will you realise. Baby I'm not like the rest" he intoned gracefully. Every word was meant for me.
"Don't wanna break your heart.Wanna give your heart a break. I know you're scared it's wrong. Like you might make a mistake. There's just one life to live. And there's no time to wait, to wait. So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break. Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break. There's just so much you can take. Give your heart a break. Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break" he continued with passion. My lips moved with each word. The lines filled my mind.
" 'Cause you've been hurt before. I can see it in your eyes. You try to smile it away, some things you can't disguise. Don't wanna break your heart. Baby, I can ease the ache, the ache. So let me give your heart a break, give your heart a break. Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break. There's just so much you can take. Give your heart a break. Let me give your heart a break, your heart a break" he skipped to the end of the song. I concentrated on the details of his singing. He poured his heart into it.
"The day I first met you. You told me you'd never fall in love" he concluded the song with a sentimental tone.
I felt something warm on my cheek and I realised that it was a tear. It was the sweetest and most thoughtful thing someone could do for me. He was acknowledged of my fondness for his talent and he attempted to make a way to my heart from it. He wanted me to give him a chance. He expressed his willingness to enthrall me through the song. I was overwhelmed. I wasn't sure if it was reality or a dream? Had he fallen in...
"Amour?" He said serenly.
"Yeah?" I responded in an emotional voice. I shook the thoughts out of my mind and tried to hold back the tears. I was so joyful. I couldn't find a reason to not accept him as my partner.
"That'll help you contemplate better. In case you are" he said sincerely.
"Yes. Thanks" I managed to say. I had no idea of what was to be spoken. A type of guy, I've always envisioned myself with was conveying his deep affection for me by singing on a call while the guy, who never valued me from my past is impeding me from moving on. Can I not let Amarion give my heart a break? But is it sure that he won't break it? Why would he if he claims to be infatuated beyond extent? But what about destiny? Will it be fair this time? What if it puts the both of us through torment? Will I be able to endure another affliction? Or am I over thinking? Cannot my instincts be right? Shall I wait for the final realisation? Yes!
"You're welcome. Take care" he said breaking the silence.
"You too" I replied and gazed at the wall ahead of me. I could partially see it due to the tears in my eyes. Why was I crying though? I was at a point of my life where I couldn't understand myself.
"Why are you doing this to yourself?" Amarion's words replayed in my mind. Does he get me better than I do? Eternal will rescue? Am I sending away the saviour who has approached to save my drowning spirit? But even if he safeguards me, will he be capable of doing that later on? Isn't there a possibility of him pushing me back into the sea of sorrow? But he isn't a coward. He is a man of integrity. Per contra, what about the watercraft we'll be travelling on? In case the tides get higher it may produce a hole in it. And our little boat of love might sink. Can we not swim together and find the island of romance? Probably, we can get marooned on it. Hopefully, we may survive with affection. We can be abundant for each other, right? What about the anonymous monsters of hatred? Won't they try to break us apart? Yet we can fight them with our altruistic swords. And what if they become pieces? Would he shield me with his unstinting chest? Can that kill him? How am I to live after that? Will I not spend the rest of my existence avenging for him? Is there a way I'd be capable of being without him? Either way the thoughts block at the same conclusion.
*buzzz* the mobile pressed to my ear vibrated. I retreated from my vagueness and realised that he hung up a good six minutes before. I set the phone aside and giggled at my oblivious behaviour. I'm wondering about inane issues.
But to be honest, Amarion is the sweetest guy I've ever met. And being the only girl he likes is very lucky. But I want to wait for the day my heart commands with manifestation to embrace his heart melting soul. I cannot commit to him with ambiguous feelings. I wish the best for the both of us occurs.
We don't decide to fall in or out of it. We cannot control the ultimate feelings. We explore the depths of it when our unpredictable fate wills us to. There is no key or door. It is written with stubborn ink on our scroll of existence. It is liberal, unchained and untamed. We are impotent forth it. It is love. And love happens.