im sorry for EXTREMELY late updates i am the worst with time management especially when it comes to writing stories. I've been writing two separate fan-fictions while writing this one so that i can post them and not have to write every day then post. i also constantly need to re-check what i've previously written so i am very sorry for my slow posting/writing.
anyways continuing my story that im unsure of what to do with >u<!!!!!! [ive figured out some idea]
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as they finished eating there food xie liian started to pick up the food and brought it to the kitchen smiling mostly forgetting the previous argument mu qing and hua cheng had. xie lian goes into the kitchen and places all the dishes into the sink and starts washing it as it makes him slightly calmer from the previous heated argument.
xie lian finishes washing dishes than goes outside to get a breath of fresh air. he leans onto the edge of the fence preventing him from falling overboard. as he looked down at the ocean waves he questioned to himself why jun wu was suddenly so worried about him was it change of heart? pity? curiosity? whatever the reason was xie lian didn't care enough to risk going into the deep and dark sea of the heavenly capital, he held nothing against anyone who resided inside the capital due to their godly acension into the courts but xie lian refused to go back, no matter how many times jun wu would attempt to call him back xie lian refused, he had to much unpleasant memories connected to the place.
xie lian started to remember things about the capital he truly wished to forget, he remembered things such as his best friends leaving him for a better life, he remembered how he almost forgot his own name after his parent disappeared due to unfortunate circumstances, he remembered how evry god would speak ill about him behind his back and act as though he was deaf and apathetic and wouldn't care about hurtful messages directed towards his character such as calling him worthless, pointless, garbage, waste of space and other rude titles.
the memories flooded his mind like the ocean had been flooded with water, his head was foggy and he couldn't think straight, he stared daggers in the ocean as if the ocean had taken his best friends, as if the ocean had taken his parents, as if the ocean took his will to continue on in this world rather than turning into forgotten sushi of the ocean no fish or shark would dare even attempt to eat out of fear of the bad luck.
memories of people whom he thought were his peers leered into the back of his mind constantly reminding him that in fact no one truly loved him for who he was they only loved him for who he was presented to be, the prince who pleased the gods, the prince with no flaw, the prince who was too caring, the prince who gave it his all only to fall.
memories filled his head of blood smeared on walls as he cried in agony and ripped his hair and took a sword to his on throat to copy the act of his parents but ultimately failing to do so. he remembered staring at his reflection and crying, he remembered stabbing himself in an attempt to recall why it was he cared so much about his people, to remember why he loved them, to remember how much he gave an how little was returned, to remember why it was him, why they hated him so much and finally to remember why it was him that the world chose to take from why he had to be the one to lose it all and fall from his grace.
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as xie lians mind wandered to unknown lands he stared into the deep blue sea as he felt something stream down his face and fall a top his hand, it was a tear. xie lian wiped his eyes to get the tears off his face only to realize he had been crying for quite some time. he wiped and wiped his face to remove the tears but nothing prevented his eyes from turning into faucets and leaking without a stop in sight. xie lian was upset that he had grown so week during the time he had been with hua cheng, he started questioning what he was even doing on the ship what purpose he stood in hua chengs life.
his thoughts continued running rampant until suddenly they came to a halt when strong yet gentle arms circled around his waist and hugged him and with a worrisome voice asked.
"is gege ok? does gege wish to go home?" the voice was familiar it was hua cheng says as he sterps in front of xie lian and gently pushes xie lians head onto his chest. "gege has no debt to me so hes always free to do what he wishes. if gege wants to leave he may leave" hua cheng continues hugging xie lian.
" n-no san lang i don't want to leave, in fact im bvery happy about being here with you!" xie lian said happily as he smiled widely "i truly have never been happier to be with someone san lang" xie lian says as he hugs hua chneg back and continues to lightly sob.
"then why is gege crying?" hua cheng asked with sorrow drawn all over his face "is it about the argument me and your friend had together? if so ill make sure to prevent myself from doing so again if it upsets gege" hua cheng say seriously.
"no its not you-nor mu qing i i just had some unpleasant memories resurface and i guess you could say i felt a little upset y'know heh" xie lian quickly responded to clear the air as he let out a nervous chuckle "heh yea im just a little........upset thats all no worries" xie lian says with an exhausted sigh.
" if gege wants to talk about im always willing to hear anything you want to share with me" he says as he looked at xie lians face and gently wiped away a tear from it "i'll always be here you mustn't worry about my thoughts of you" hua cheng says "to me you are perfect no matter the flaws of your character, you are perfect no matter the traumas you face or the obstacles you face" he continued "to me you are you and thats enough for me" hua cheng said as he continued holding xie lian in his arms as he began stroking xie lians hair as if to soothe him, it was working xie lian did calm down in fact he was even happy after.
xie lian and hua cheng seperated from each others arms after a minute.
"if gege needs anything ill be steering the ship" hua cheng told xie lian "im always free so just talk to me if you want to talk about anything ok gege?" hua cheng said then let go of xie lians shoulders.
"its okay san lang i know you care but your probably busy" xie lian responded smiling slightly as he chuckled.
"don't worry gege im never that busy. i can always make time for gege" hua cheng responds seriously "and anyways i can always ask yin yu to help out with work anyways" hua cheng laughs then hugs xie lian for a second and kisses his cheek and leaves with a chuckle as xie lian becomes flustered as his face turns bright red.
wh-what was th-that!!!!! xie lian wonders in confusion as he places his hand on his face as he then remembers how close they were hugging each other and how hua cheng had stroked his hair and other things they did together in the moment.
xie lian who was now flushed red rushed to his bedroom to potentially forget about it all as he ignores his surroundings and doesn't notice the fact feng xin and mu qing had watched the last bit of the scene.
".what.was.that." the two said to themselves as they stared at the red faced xie lian run to his room in utter embarrassment.
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feng xin and mu qing were about to storm into hua chengs office and berate him when suddenly the heavenly chat (i genuinely forgot the name of it im not even kidding) and put their fingers to their temple to listen in to jun wu.
"is feng xin and mu qing here?" jun wu asked
"yes my lord we're here, what do you need?" the two asked in unison then glared at each other with daggers in their eyes.
"i need an update about xianle now" jun wu said with a serious tone
"well nothing has happened so far" feng xin answered only for mu qing to cut him off and continue with the report.
"im starting to assume crimson rain put some type of spell on his highness to convince him-" mu qing says until jun wu's booming voice cut him off.
"convinced him of what?" jun wu said with anger seeping through his voice slightly but he still keeps his cool somehow
"crimson rain convinced his highness to assume that he truly likes or loves him even" mu qing finishes. "this isn't a set fact but thats how i see it, his highness isn't that stupid or naïve!" mu qing says in an attempt to defend xie lian.
"well as long as xie lian doesn't develop any real feelings we'll be ok i have a plan anyways" jun wu explains "the plan is to attack hua chengs ship while he's unsuspecting" jun wu continued.
"what can we do to help then?" feng xin asked
"i'll tell you when the time comes but for now just continue to give me updates on xie lian and crimson rains relationship and other factors" jun wu said "now goodbye" jun wu said then left the chat.
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(sorry for trash writing i wrote this in a rush of ideas and i couldn't [didn't] want to add it all here)