Harry.
I could feel her eyes on me while Louis' words left his lips: "What?" I was a bit shocked and confused, not wanting to believe what I heard was true.
It sounded like the world had stopped, as if I had misheard. "Niall is dead," he repeats, looking over at my daughter, who was watching TV. "He was found in the bathroom of the casino, murdered."
I was surrounded by confusion, like a thick fog that obscured my vision. It was almost as though everything had abruptly stopped, and there had been an unreal break in the flow of time. In that moment, my mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions and thoughts, each one vying for my attention. Time itself seems to have stopped moving forward relentlessly, leaving me hanging in an unsettling silence. I stood there, silent and perplexed.
" Fuck." I wipe my face with my hand. "Who found him?" I had a million questions flowing in my head. Ones that i'm sure wouldn't be answered until I properly looked for them but I couldn't do it here at the hospital.
"Liam didn't give me much information; there were cops and shit. And, um," he says, turning to look at Juliet. His stare faced with pity, and I knew whatever he was going to say next wouldn't make anything better. "He was murdered, just like Rose."
My heart stops, and I'm not sure what to do. I breathed out and turned to face Juliet. She was just gazing off into the distance when, before I could say anything to her, she hurried out the room leaving us. .
" Juliet—" I called out for her, but the door closed before she could hear me. I felt completely helpless as a wave of frustration and sorrow swept over me, crushing me. I desperately wanted to go after her to check on her, but a suffocating weakness held me captive. My limbs felt as though they were made of lead, each step a monumental effort.
We all just watched her leave. I try to get up, find her, and comfort my girl. But the second I tried to stand up, I felt this intense pain in my stomach that made it difficult to even sit. It was a distressing experience. I felt a stabbing or cramping sensation that had me losing my breath.
"Whoa, Harry, stop it." Looking up, I felt cold hands on my body. I came face-to-face with Abby; we were inches apart, too close to my liking. I looked away and shrugged her arms away from me. They felt nothing like Juliets; they weren't warm; they weren't as caring; it wasn't someone I wanted to be touched by anymore.
" Stop it." Focusing on her I inhaled deeply a few times in an effort to manage the discomfort. My body seemed to twist and churn like a stormy sea in the midst of the excruciating pain. I clutched my abdomen, my knuckles turning white, and struggled to remain upright.
I muttered, "Go see if she's okay."
"Harry, she's all right," Zayn reassured me, "she just needs a moment to catch her breath. It's been a lot to handle." I fell into a heavy silence, my gaze shifting towards Zayn. "And maybe," I continued, "it's best if she doesn't listen to this."
He was right. Juliet shouldn't know about this not when her mothers death is what changed her, it's what keeps her up at night and haunts her.
The pain gnawed at my legs, and beads of sweat gathered on my forehead as I clenched my teeth, fighting to suppress the groan that threatened to escape.
"Louis I want you to figure out who killed Niall; we need to see the security cameras; I want Liam to talk to cops; figure out Niall's last location," I said as I leaned back against the bed. "Abby, I need you to close down the casino until further notice and we'll get rid of any evidence that can have us locked up. everything in the basement needs to be put away into the docks, call someone for help. I'll organize his funeral and notify his relatives."
"You need to relax," Abby says, crossing her hands over her chest. "You just got shot. You need to relax."
"I can't, Abby; what don't you understand?" I cleared my throat. "I need to know who's doing this, and everyone should understand." Our eyes locked, and in that moment, it felt as if a silent conversation unfolded between us. " We also can't get caught with fuckin' cocaine in the casinos basement or a torture room. The cops will investigate and we shouldn't give them a reason to be suspicious of us." Abby just stared at me and Words were unnecessary; our gazes communicated with a depth that surpassed language. Each glance and each lingering look revealed emotions, shared secrets, and unspoken understanding.
"Maybe you should've never lied." The words that tumbled from her lips left me utterly astonished, a sudden rush of anger coursing through my veins. I was caught in a moment of puzzled silence, my eyes fixated on Abby.. My mind was racing, and I wasn't sure what to say in a swirling wave of anger and disbelief.
I tried to find a way to respond as my eyes drew into Abby—a way to express the depth of my feelings—but the words escaped me.
""I don't think you can really comment on that, don't you think?" I stare right back, clenching my jaw. "She wouldn't be too happy knowing her friend knows my little secret."
"Shut up," she spat. "If you don't tell her by New Year, I will." The tension in my jaw was unbearable, every muscle straining to contain my anger. I felt like a coiled spring, ready to snap.
"Is that a threat?" I raised an eyebrow. I could almost feel the air in the room becoming charged with my seething irritability and crackling like static electricity with each heated breath. Although I chose my words carefully, my voice had a sinister edge to it; a low, rumbling growl hinted at the raging eruption of my emotions. I wouldn't hesitate to kill her.
"It wasn't a threat." Louis speaks up and then turns to look at his girl. "And you are not saying anything to Juliet. It's not your place to share secrets that don't belong to you, especially when you know it can hurt both of them." They share a knowing look and Abby turns to me annoyed—frustrated.
Abby's anger was still etched across her face, her brows furrowed in deep-seated frustration. She didn't want to agree with Louis; it went against the grain of her pride. Her lips were tightly pressed together, her jaw set, as if she were holding back the words that threatened to spill out.
"I really hope you do the right thing." Abby shakes her head and looks away. "So how are we finding this fucker?" she asked, changing the topic.
Before I could say anything or explain to Abby how we were going to find whoever was after us, the door suddenly burst open, revealing the two people I had never imagined standing together.
When I focused on my girl, I noticed how her eyes expanded and how she appeared shocked, possibly terrified, and nervous. She turned to face my daughter, and I did too. They were both staring at the door, with Azri standing on the bed.
"Hi, mommy, I'm hungry." I looked over at Juliet, but she was just staring at her. My heart beat quicker, and my breath felt short. I looked at her, and her brown eyes met mine. Her delicate brown eyes and blonde hair flowed down, matching my daughter. This time, seeing her felt strange.
Felt wrong. My heart raced erratically. My fingers were trembling like fragile leaves in the wind, and I couldn't help but fidget. My stomach churned with a queasiness that seemed to grow with every passing second. Each breath I took was shaky and shallow, as if I couldn't quite catch my breath.
Doubts and insecurities swirled in my mind, creating a cacophony of negative thoughts.
Perplexed, I found myself at a loss for words, my mouth dry and my mind suddenly empty. Running my tongue over my lips, I blinked in disbelief, a quiet chuckle slipping out unconsciously.
" Mariana? Her name tumbled over my lips, and behind her, Zayn was walking in. Mariana wasn't staring at me but instead at my daughters—our daughters. My mind runs quickly, and I grow scared. This wasn't supposed to happen. They're not supposed to meet.
I can feel the color slowly vanishing off my face, the sight in front of me stealing the color. I was so unprepared as to how I'm supposed to react; I never thought this would ever happen. My body struggles to comprehend this impossible sight in front of me. Under my skin, my pulse thumps harshly in my veins.
She meets my stare, and my throat goes dry. "They're so big." I stayed silent. I know they are big; they're almost four; they're smart; they're beautiful. I am proud of everything they've become, and it's all because of me. I raised them into two beautiful girls.
I did that all by myself and I'll continue to do it till my last breath. Even when I'm old and they have their own family, I'll still take care of them.
"Hi!" Marceline says, her bubbly voice echoing
over the very quiet room. I'm surprised my heart monitor hasn't reached the highest level considering how overwhelmed I'm feeling right now. I looked over at Marceline and she was hugging the stuffed animals she gifted me in her hands, setting it down on the hospital bed.
"Hi!. What's your name?" Mariana pushed her blonde hair behind her ears and smiled softly.
"Mariana." I try to sit up on the bed, despite the pain that shot through my whole body in an instant. Juliet was standing by my side, supporting me by grasping my forearm. Her gentle touch soothes me.
Despite my best efforts to appear composed, her anxious gaze spoke volumes. With every shift of my weight, I felt her concern radiating through the room, a palpable sense of protectiveness that enveloped me. Though I was determined to demonstrate my strength, her silent plea for caution tugged at my resolve, reminding me of the need to tread carefully, to not risk further harm in my pursuit of independence.
"Marceline!" This is my sister Azriela, my dad, and that titi Abby, and Louis."She points out "Titi Zayn, and my mommy Juliet, but—but daddy calls her Juli." She giggles.
Juliet and I forced our eyes to meet. She called Juliet mommy, and even though at first she didn't seem to like the idea, she called her mommy. My heart grew heavy with these intense feelings.
I was so happy that it was Juliet, my favorite girl.
The more I saw how special she had grown to be to my children, the happier I felt inside. I was overcome with indescribable happiness by their genuine smiles, the way they looked up to her in amazement, and the giggles that resounded throughout our shared moments. Knowing that the woman I wanted was not only my choice but also a cherished presence in the lives of my children, I couldn't help but feel immensely grateful for the bond we all shared.
She muttered, "Your name is beautiful," and turned to face Azri, "both of you." She then caught my gaze, but neither of us said anything else. She was seeing her daughters for the first time in years, and the feeling was too odd for her to say anything. My heart felt strange. These feelings were different from all the others. I felt a sudden sadness. Even though I wouldn't give up on my relationship with Juliet, I sat and wondered what might've happened if we hadn't even given up on our family. If she were present with my kids,
She was staring at them with brown eyes that had a trace of affection in them. Mariana wipes a tear from her eye while smiling. I know this feeling is probably so hard. Seeing her children and not being able to hold them how a mother is supposed to care for her kids.
"What's your name?" Azri asks with a giggle in her eyes, and she turns to look at me. "Look, daddy, her hair is like mine." My heart shattered, and I nodded. If only she knew that the woman standing in front of us was her mother, and she was exactly identical. I always knew that, but seeing them both standing in front of me reminded me. It reminded me of how one of my daughters looks exactly like the woman I once loved. Same hair, same eyes, small nose, same smile. It crushed me. She was forever a memory—a painful memory—because I knew Mariana and I would never happen.
I didn't want it, but it still hurt to see it.
"Mariana," she smiles, but your daddy used to call me Mari."Looking away, I noticed Zayn, Abby, and Louis had all slipped away. Juliet tightened her hold on my hands, something I didn't notice what we were doing. I looked up at her, and she was already staring at me. For the first time, I was unable to figure out her emotions. She just stared at me.
The ability to describe how I was feeling and let out the emotional maelstrom that was raging inside of me felt as though the words were caught in my throat. I was left in a tight silence every time I tried to express myself. I felt restricted and unable to express the depth of what was going on inside of me due to the intensity of my emotions, which were a stormy sea of ideas and feelings. I was frustrated and speechless. I had many thoughts and emotions inside, but none of them could find a way to express themselves.
Juliet cupped my face leaning forward and gave me a brief kiss on the lips, but one kiss made me feel like I was on top of the world. It was almost as if she understood how terribly conflicted I felt.
The kiss was unlike any other; it was a moment that seemed to have been frozen in time and a source of emotions that flowed with a fascinating depth. A universe of emotions emerged during that interaction, as if our souls had joined through our lips. Every time we connected lips, it signaled desire, the creation of an unseen bond between us, and longing.
The delicate push of our lips as they came together created a symphony of emotion that intensified as they met. I could sense the deep sensitivity that had grown between us as well as the warmth of attachment, the urgency of attraction, and the warmth of touch. It was a kiss that carried the weight of shared memories, hushed assurances, and promises.
Juliet backed away while gazing into my eyes. "Are you okay?" and I nodded. "Promise?" Holding my pinky between us, she loops hers with mine. "Until the stars start to fall from the sky." She smiles as her lips incline upward. "And the moon no longer shines."
I glanced over at Mariana, noticing her gaze fixed on us. She quickly averted her eyes, clearing her throat and fidgeting with her hands. "Can we talk?" Her eyes shifted toward Juliet. "Alone?"
"No, Juliet can be here—"
Juliet gently interrupted, placing her hands on my forearm. "It's okay, baby. You guys need to talk. I'll go grab some lunch with the twins." I nodded, and Juliet offered a warm smile.
"Who wants some chicken tenders, french fries, and ice cream?" Juliet asked, and the twins eagerly yelled, "Me!" I chuckled as Azri turned to me with her wide eyes. "Want food, Daddy?" I shook my head and smiled at my precious daughter. "You go, honey pot. Daddy needs to rest." She nodded and hopped down from the bed, grabbing onto Juliet's hands.
"I'll bring you some ice cream, daddy!" Marceline grins, "Bye!"Before leaving the room, she suddenly stops in her tracks. "Wait! I have to give Daddy a kiss," she exclaims. I smile as I watch her dash back towards me, my eyes capturing Azri's playful sparkle as she joins in the chase.
Juliet quickly retraces her steps. "Wait! Be careful with Daddy," she says as she gently places Marceline on the bed. Marceline then crawls towards me, snuggling her tiny body against mine. A soft groan escapes me as a sudden twinge of pain shoots through my body, but I do my best to conceal it. These hugs mean the world to me.
Marceline eventually pulls away, planting a sweet kiss on my cheek, her little hands gently cupping my face.
"Feeling better now, Daddy? A get-well kiss!" I grinned and nodded in agreement. "I think I need one more, and one from my little monster," I added, casting a loving glance toward Azriela, who giggled and drew closer to me. They both hugged me and planted sweet kisses on my cheeks.
"Oh my goodness! I feel all better now," I exclaimed, and their little eyes widened with excitement as they squealed. "No more sick, Daddy?"
"No more sick, Daddy," I confirmed with a grin, playfully booping their noses. "Now you guys need to behave with Mommy, okay?" The words felt unfamiliar but reassuring as I acknowledged Juliet's role in our lives.
"Okay, Daddy! I promise. Bye." Juliet smiled at me, leaning down to give me a tender kiss on the lips, and I smiled in return, grateful for her presence. The pain melted away, evaporating like morning mist, as I gazed into Juliet's eyes. In that tender connection, the weight of my troubles seemed to vanish, replaced by a soothing sense of peace and comfort. Juliet's eyes held healing magic, and with each look, I felt the pain leaving my body, replaced by an overwhelming sense of serenity and desire.
My life is so perfect right now. I have all three of my girls, healthy and perfect.
Watching my girls walk out of the room, Juliet glances at me one last time and softly smiles, her eyes glowing, despite the sadness behind them, despite how much I knew she was worried for me. I wish I could take that pain away from her—take away the worry.
My entire body was seized by the throbbing agony from the bullet wound as I lay there in the clean, antiseptic-smelling hospital room. Every heartbeat transmitted shockwaves of excruciating pain from the point of entry of the bullet. It felt like a hot poker had been pressed into my flesh, and the agony would not stop.
The hospital bed felt like an unforgiving slab of concrete beneath me, exacerbating my discomfort with each subtle shift. The stark, fluorescent lights overhead only added to the harshness of the environment, intensifying my irritation.
And then, to make matters worse, she walked in—my ex-girlfriend, the mother of my child. Her presence, unannounced and unexpected, grated on my already frayed nerves. I could feel the tightness in my chest, but whether it was from the physical pain or the unwelcome intrusion, I couldn't be sure.
With a forced smile, she greeted me, her voice a grating reminder of our tumultuous past. As she prattled on about inconsequential matters, my annoyance grew. Every word she spoke seemed to amplify the relentless ache in my body.
I clenched my jaw, fighting to maintain composure, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of seeing me in this vulnerable state. The pain and the presence of my ex-girlfriend and current girlfriend in one room clashed within me, creating a cacophony of discomfort and irritation that I struggled to endure.
"What do you want?" I asked when the door closed. "I thought I made it very clear that I don't want you here, near me, and especially near my kids."
She stared at me confused, her eyebrows wrinkling and the corner of her lips turning upwards as she laughed, but it wasn't a happy laugh, more like an "I can't believe you laugh."
As I watched her laugh, it was a sight both unsettling and enigmatic. Her laughter erupted with a shivering merriment, a waterfall of sound that appeared to dance on the surface while masking a profound, unseen hurt underneath.
Normally bright and animated, her eyes were suddenly cloaked in darkness, revealing the turmoil inside. There was a haunting quality to her laughter, like a melody played in a minor key, masking a sorrowful tune behind its apparent cheerfulness.
My spine tingled as her mouth's corners curled upward into a menacing grin. Her evil smile, which contrasted with the warmth of her laughter, appeared to take pleasure in the pain of others.
It was as if she had mastered the art of hiding her anguish behind a façade of wicked amusement.
I couldn't help but wonder what was going on in her mind as she laughed enigmatically and what demons she was battling as she feigned to enjoy the humor of the situation.
She sneered, "They're my kids too," before turning to face me. "I understand that I wasn't present and that I wasn't a good mother, but Harry, it wasn't my fault. I was confused. I wanted to live my life. I was so young."
Scoffing, I added. "So was I, but I stayed. I was terrified. Being the single parent of two Mariana wasn't simple; it hurt. I was alone, and I was terrified. You don't think I deserve to live my life as well?" Even though what I was saying is true, never in my life will I regret my girls.
Even after all the therapy I underwent, the difficulties I encountered, the dangers, and the potential loss of them Going above and beyond to make sure my enemies never hurt them. I wouldn't regret spending even a single second with them, in spite of everything. Not even when I held them for the first time at the hospital when I was nineteen and terrified. Crying for help. It was my weakest point, but I overcame it and became stronger.
"No, you did. I know that, but I was selfish. I didn't know—I promise, I'm different now. Just give me a chance; I've changed. I can be a good mother now."
"You can't just decide when you want to be a good mother." I murmured and looked away, furrowing my eyebrow. "You know how many fucking times they've cried to me that they want a mother? Do you know how many times I had to look them in the eyes and tell them that I was sorry and that I couldn't fucking do it?
She stayed silent, and I laughed. "You want another chance to be their mother?"
Silence lingered between us, and I turned to meet her stare. Locked in a gaze, the unknown lies ahead. A mingling of curiosity and dread. Staring into her eyes hurt; it was an overwhelming feeling I was scared would never leave me.
It was like a window to the past; her eyes, the same mesmerizing shade of hazel, were now tinged with a hint of nostalgia. A silent conversation, memories that will last even if I didn't want them. Those memories deserve to stay in the past, hidden. Our gaze, a familiar path, once walked in time, revisiting old emotions, a journey through a rhyme.
The laughter we shared, the secrets we knew, Staring into her eyes, the connection felt true. Moments of tenderness and sometimes despair: "A family, Harry, I want to be a family again."
I felt stuck—all the air left my lungs, and it felt as if a truck had hit me. I couldn't believe my eyes after four years of silence. Not knowing if she was alive or dead, not knowing if she was in another relationship, she had a new family. Nothing. After four years, her unexpected request to consider reuniting as a family left me in a state of utter shock.
Memories of our past flooded my mind, and I felt a whirlwind of emotions coursing through me. I suddenly grew angry for her to suggest such a thing, knowing I'm not a single man. Does she think I'll seriously leave Juliet in a blink of an eye just because she wants to be a family again? Because she wants something she left?
"What the fuck, Mariana?" Her name felt like a bitter echo on my tongue, a name I'd grown distant from. "What is wrong with you?" I asked, staring at her with a mix of frustration and disappointment, my voice laced with anger as well. Her hazel eyes, once filled with warmth, now glistened with tears.
"Please, Harry," she pleaded, her voice trembling and fragile. "I'm sorry, please. I want you; I want my daughters."
"First of all, Mariana, Juliet is my fiancé. I'm happy with her. She makes me happy, and she makes my kids happy," I retorted firmly, my own eyes flashing with determination. "Our kids"
"She's not their mother, Harry, please," tears streamed down her delicate face. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. What else do you want me to say?"
"Nothing," I snapped, the anger in my voice palpable. "Nothing at all. You can't walk back into our lives after all these years and expect to pick up where we left off. I'm with Juliet now; please respect that."
"Why are you being so difficult?"
"Well, sorry for being protective over them after everything we have been through from the very beginning, starting with you."
"I was fucking suffering from postpartum depression." She screams, covering her mouth as she stands up. "I was unable to control that, Harry, and was unable to comprehend what was happening to me. I was alone."
"You were never alone." I shake my head. "There is a difference between letting me in and avoiding everyone who tried to help you," I said. "I didn't understand what was happening with you; I admit to that. We should've gotten help from the beginning when we both lost..."' As I became aware that I had never had the opportunity to meet him, hear his voice, or share in his life, a wave of guilt began to wash over me. I couldn't help but feel the weight of not having had the chance to get to know him as the ghost of his presence persisted in my thoughts.
I often find myself dwelling on what life might have been like if I had the opportunity to be a father to our baby boy. Would it have strengthened mine and Mariana's relationship? Would we still be together? And would the twins be with us today?
These thoughts occupy my mind regularly, and while I yearn to have met my son and to watch him grow and thrive, the grief never truly dissipates. But I've come to believe that everything happens for a reason, and we learn from our experiences. My baby boy, though not physically with us, remains forever in my heart. He was a lesson, a reminder to strive harder and become a better father, even if he isn't here with us.
"Don't you dare mention his name," she said abruptly, her eyes piercing through me like daggers. Her head shook slowly, and fresh tears spilled from her already teary eyes. I couldn't bear to look at her. Her pain weighed heavy on me, and it hurt to see her like this, a woman I had once loved so deeply, the one who had carried all of our children, including the one who never got to experience life. She had been my first everything, my first love, but now... now everything felt different. It was as if a cold, harsh reality had settled between us, a pain that we both knew would never truly fade. We weren't meant for each other anymore, and we were simply relics of the past—ghosts who needed to be forgotten. The thought scared me, and I couldn't help but feel that co-parenting might not be the solution. I knew Mariana better than anyone in the world.
A wave of guilt began to wash over me. She wants something and desires something. I know that as soon as I bring her into my kids' lives, she's going to ruin it because she's scared, but who am I to deny her seeing her own kids though? Will I be the bad guy from keeping them away from their biological mother? How do I even explain to them that she's here?
"I was trying to learn from our mistakes,' I continued. "I was trying to be better, but you didn't let me. You pushed me aside and left." I was anxiously anticipating her response as my heart skipped a beat.
"We aren't good for each other, Mariana; we both know this. What we had in the past stays there." She wipes away her tears and turns her head away. " I'm happy now."
"What is so wrong about me?" She asked, and I couldn't find a way to answer her because of the way she looked at me. So confused, yet with so many indescribable emotions.
"Nothing's wrong with you," I stammered, my voice strained. She was once the perfect girl for me—but not anymore. I couldn't help but look towards the door, flooded with memories of our past when we were dating. We had been so young and so naive, both of us with interests elsewhere. We hadn't been mature enough for what we truly wanted, and now... there was too much pain between us to ever forgive and reconcile. "I just wouldn't be happy, and I'm sorry. You deserve someone better, Mari-Mariana."
"Does she make you happy and give you everything we never had?" Mariana's question left me perplexed, unsure of what she meant by that.
"She makes me happy," I nodded, knowing this probably hurt her to hear. "She helps me so much and gives me reasons to keep pushing myself to do better every day. I am sorry for being unable to give you what I am giving her. We were both so young, but I grew up and matured, and I believe that not getting together is what's right. I'm in a happy, committed relationship.'"
"You're engaged." She laughs and looks away, tears rolling down her cheeks. She wipes her tears and looks down at her hands. "We were together for what? Five years and nothing for me... I don't understand. Why, why her and not me? What did I do that was so wrong?"
"You do realize we haven't seen each other in years; I've moved on. I found someone who makes me happy, Mariana, and I'm sorry. I wish I could've given you so much more, but we were young and stupid. We gave each other so much pain, you suffered from depression after having the twins, and I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, it wasn't right, You'll find your person. I still respect you for everything, but us, it can't happen. We will never."
As she looked into my eyes, her voice trembled with uncertainty, and the weight of her question hung in the air, heavy and loaded. "Do you love her?" she asked, her vulnerability cutting through the silence. In that moment, a storm of emotions swirled within me—a turbulent mix of affection and confusion. Her question had uncovered a complex landscape within me, one I hadn't fully explored, leaving me to navigate a maze of emotions that felt both enigmatic and undeniable.
Do I love her? The question shocked me. I was momentarily taken aback and unsure of how to respond when the question struck me like an unexpected lightning bolt. I blinked in shock as my mind tried to process the startling question. I felt an intense surge of emotions, including surprise, confusion, and a glimmer of vulnerability, as the room seemed to grow quiet and time itself appeared to have temporarily stopped. I opened my mouth to reply but found myself lost for words, my thoughts scattered like leaves in the wind.
" I..." I cleared my throat. "I don't think it's your business to know if I love Juliet or not. I'm happy with her, and nothing will ever change my mind."
A quick flash darts across her eyes, something she probably would not have wanted me to catch since she quickly hides the emotion, but I did. It was a look of annoyance mixed with anger, clearly unsatisfied with my response. I was always able to read her emotions. I knew her from the inside out—when she's happy, sad, or mad—she was like a book.
Before me, Mariana shifts her weight from one foot to the next, her eyes glancing around us. "Well, that's good for you; she seems lovely," Mariana blandly comments. The hint of sarcasm and distaste in her voice bubbles the anger within me, wanting to snap at her for probably not meaning that because, in every sense of the word, my Juliet is incredibly lovely—more than lovely; she was the best, and she's the star that shines through my darkness, being so good for me despite how horrible I once was.
Juliet has the sweetest soul I have ever seen. Too good for this cruel, ugly word. I just wanted to protect her from every evil and keep her with me till my last breath. "She's very lovely."
"I have to go," she says, standing up and leaving before I had a chance to speak.
Closing my eyes, I tried to relax and simmer my emotions, allowing her to leave. The sound of her shoes clicking on the floor grew softer as she walked out the door, leaving me to fight my emotions and try to process what just happened.
This gives me the chance to let everything consume itself. I tried to get some rest as I let my eyelids flutter shut. I was drained. A lot has occurred in the previous thirty-four hours. From me getting hurt to Mariana asking to be a family,
My body hurt in a way that I couldn't bear. The sensation of a needle piercing my skin only grew stronger with each breath. I lied there, attempting to find comfort in the clean surroundings as my body pressed heavily against the hard hospital bed. My chest hurts, and every breath I take serves as a reminder of the intense anguish I'm feeling. Finding a comfortable position is impossible because of the constant throbbing, which turns the bed into a battlefield for relief from the unrelenting pain.
My body trembles in agony with every small motion, intensifying how vulnerable and helpless I feel. The background buzz of medical machinery only serves to highlight the stark reality of my predicament, enhancing the feeling of helplessness and vulnerability that surrounds me.
☆
Feeling a shift around me my eyes fluttered open. "Hi, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to wake you up." Juliet spoke softly while clutching a blanket in her hands and smiling at me. Her cheeks were blushing pink, and her eyes were glistening. I cleared my throat and nodded. "I just wanted to give you a softer and warmer blanket."
"Come lay with me, baby; it's all right." She drapes a nice blanket over my body, instantly making me feel warm. She then asks, "Are you comfortable?" and I nod before shutting my eyes once more. Doctors just gave you morphine.
As she settled gently onto the bed, she turned to her side, lifting her head, and I mirrored the motion, gazing down at her. Her eyes, so full of tenderness, held my gaze. In that moment, I couldn't help but feel unworthy of her, this perfect girl who meant everything to me—my guiding star, my comforting moon, my everything. Her hand brushed against my cheek, her thumb tracing a delicate pattern.
"How did it go with Mariana?" she inquired, and I clasped her hand tightly, the weight of my unspoken truth heavy on my chest. I knew I needed to share to earn her complete trust and uphold honesty between us.
One day, I will be able to tell her everything I can't tell her right now. But I know the second I do, she'll hurt. But she deserves to know what happened between Mariana and me.
"She asked me to be a family again." Juliet's face drops slightly, breaking my heart, and she asks, "What?" I shake my head, my palm cupping her face.
"I told her no. I don't want it. I'm happy with you; you are the girl I want. You're the one I want to maybe start a bigger family with." I smiled. "I mean, Azri and Marceline already see you as her mother."
She laughs. "You want to start a bigger family with me?" She scrunches up her face. 'What if I'm a fucked up mother like Rose?" I could tell this is her biggest fear by the way she stared at me with lost emotions in her eyes.
"Don't say that." I shook my head. "It's not true, pretty girl. Do you see how much the girls love you? And maybe one day in the future, when the twins are a little older, and we find out who's been after you and us. when both of us are mentally prepared. I gave her a forehead kiss. "When you're ready to give me a baby."
"Having kids scares me." I grin. "We don't have to have this talk right now, okay, baby. Even if one day you decide not to have kids, that's okay; we already have two healthy little monsters."
Juliet's radiant smile illuminated the room, and in that moment, I felt myself falling even deeper for her. My heart was swelling as I stared at her beautiful face, her brown, dark eyes, the soft curls that fell from her messy bun on top of her head, and her full, beautiful pink lips. Her eyes shimmered like distant stars, and as Juliet suppressed a laugh, her teeth gently caught her lower lip. My thumb pulled her lower lip, watching it release, and she let out a soft murmur, sending a shiver down my spine.
"You're such a sunshine baby; why couldn't I meet this Harry when I first laid eyes on you?" I stayed silent, just looking into her brown eyes, lost in the way she stared at me. It's almost like if I were a star.
"I was scared." I breathed out clearly. "It scared me how I was only with you for a few minutes and I didn't want to leave—and when you rejected me, I found that as a motivation to pull you away." I shake my head. "It was fuckin' ignorant, and believe me when I say that I would go back and undo everything I said and did in a heartbeat. You didn't deserve that. I didn't have to be a total fucking ass you didn't deserve it."
Juliet grimaces. "I was scared too. You're the first guy that really captured my attention," she added, grinning. "Even though I didn't think you were that attractive at first," Juliet was giggling, and her tone had a note of sarcasm.
" Yeah?" I chuckled, running my tongue over my lips. "God, I think I would have fucked you right there and then if you had let me. I'll have you all to myself and won't let another man look at you ever again."
"Oh, shut up." She giggles, "Stop lying."
"You think I'm lying?" I scoff, "So you wouldn't have let me kiss those perfect lips of yours, touch your body the way I do, hold you close, and breathe the same air as you." She was staring right into my eyes when her breath became stuck in her throat.
"I liked my first time with you. I would pick it over anything, even if it meant going through all the bad we did." smiling, I ran my knuckles down her cheeks.
"I mean, it was in Paris," I chuckled, memories flooding back. "You were so gentle and patient with me." My thoughts drifted to our first intimate encounter—her body beneath mine, the way her eyes fluttered shut, and the soft melodies that escaped her lips. Despite the bold words, I knew deep down that I wouldn't change a single thing about that night.
"I don't either. I'm grateful you let me share those firsts with you," I confessed. "Thank you for trusting me and allowing me to be there for you."
"Always, baby," she smiled. "Even though I definitely would've done anything you wanted me to do that first night we met,"
Rolling her eyes with a laugh, she pushes me away. "You're annoying." pouting, my hands dropping to her waist, slipping underneath my hoodie—something I noticed she was wearing the second she walked in, and God, I couldn't control how I felt.
"That wasn't our first time." I shrugged. "We were younger, remember?" She hums and looks away.
"How could I forget a cute teenage boy at my mom's funeral calling me his angel and telling me to stop smoking?" I playfully pinched her side, and she erupted into the most infectious laughter I had heard all day. She jerked in her spot, trying to fend me off, and as I held her gently, she managed to say, "Harry, stop!"
I couldn't help but join in her laughter, watching her joyful expression while she covered her mouth. With a firm yet tender grip, I tilted her head upward, waiting for her to catch her breath before gently pressing my lips against hers. "My pretty girl," I murmured softly.
"My pretty boy," she whispered in response, blinking up at me. A peaceful silence settled between us, enveloping us in its comforting embrace.
"Promise to always show me this part of you? Show me the sunshine I admire. Be my sun, yeah?"
Swallowing harshly, I whispered. "If I told you about the darkness inside of me, would you still look at me like i'm the sun?"
Juliet stared at me silently, holding me closer to her, and I squeezed her rib cages, feeling the warmth of her soft skin. "Nothing can scare me away from you, sunshine. From now on, it's us against the world. No matter what, you'll be my sun, which is why life is a little better. We just have to trust each other, yeah?"
I nodded. Telling her my secrets just got a lot more complicated. But I hope that the day I do, she'll still see me as her sunshine. I hope that part never leaves my beautiful girl.
"Are you okay with the news about Niall?" Her voice was soft and gentle, and it hasn't hit me. I refused to believe that Niall was dead—it didn't make sense. Who killed him? Who hurt him? Why him?
"I'm not sure." I tell her the truth. She doesn't say anything and turns her head away, and I was at a loss for words when I tried to find out how she felt about things. Juliet's eyes shift back toward me, and she smiles softly.
"I kinda feel guilty." I confessed. Juliet blinks up at me, "I don't really feel anything, and I feel a bit guilty. Thinking about it, I was supposed to be dead as well, so why did I survive but not him? But then... I just can't find emotions."
Juliet gave me a comforting, nonverbal expression of understanding as she gazed at me. "It's okay to feel lost, to be confused, and even to not feel anything," she whispered softly, her voice carrying a soothing melody that offered solace in the face of pain. " Grief makes you experience wild things, unexpected things." Juliet laughed. " there's no correct way to heal— there's no healthy way to forget... life kinda just grows around that deep hole." Her hand reached out, finding mine, as if to convey that I wasn't alone in his struggle to grapple with the void left by Niall passing.
"You shouldn't feel bad about something you can't control ." She muttered. "Call me selfish, but I'm so grateful you're here with me and that you're alive." She touches my face tenderly and sends shivers down my spine. "I wouldn't know what to do without you, Harry. Please don't ever scare me in such a way again."
"I didn't mean to." Leaning into her embrace, I muttered. "I just want to protect you; I never want to scare you." Her eyes sparkle so brightly that they shine.
"I know you didn't," she whispered. "Just glad you're okay, baby." With a smile, I took hold of her chin, leaned in, and kissed her. In the silence, our breaths danced delicately in expectation of something. Warmth radiated from our bodies as a symphony of emotions erupted as our lips connected.
Time seemed to grow slowly, allowing us to savor the sweetness of our connection. The gentle pressure of our kiss spoke volumes, carrying the weight of unspoken promises and the tenderness of shared vulnerability. Each touch ignited a spark, tracing a path of affection that enveloped them in a cocoon of intimacy. In that fleeting instant, the world faded away, leaving only the soft brush of her lips.
Juliet withdrew first, breathing sharply, her lips glowing red and swollen from our kiss. She smiles as her vulnerable, yearning eyes meet mine. She hums, a song floating in the dense air, and I smiled back, tracing my fingers over her lips.
"One day we'll be able to put all this in the past and move on in a healthy way that doesn't affect our mental health. We just need to get through these tough times together," she said.
"One day," I returned the whisper, and she looked at me solemnly. I stared at Juliet, studying the beauty of her face, and then all of a sudden, she began to feel a rush of emotions. Tears filled her eyes, showing the intensity of her emotions as they overflowed and ran down her cheeks
My hands touched her fragile face, and I felt a little perplexed and anxious. "Hey, what's wrong, hello? Talk to me, baby." Juliet breaks down in tears once more and exclaims,
"I thought you died. I thought I was never going to see you again." My fingers pushed away her tears, and she cried a little harder. "I was so scared, Harry—so fucking scared."
' Baby," I whispered. It felt as though a piece of my heart broke with each drop of tears that fell from her eyes as I watched her cry. Pity broke my heart, and a crushing sense of helplessness swept over me. "Hey—hey, I'm okay, I promise." Juliet stares up at me, and a look of fear flashes in her eyes.
Her sobs and trembling voice seemed to echo the depths of her pain, and I wished desperately to erase her suffering. Juliet's sobs seemed to weigh heavily on my own soul, and I was overcome with an uncontrollable desire to carry it all for her and make it all go away. "Look, feel my heart, baby." I grabbed her delicate, soft, cold hands and placed them above my heart murmuring.
"Feel that?" I asked after a moment of silence. Juliet nodded, and I used my thumb to wipe her eyes. "Feel the way my heart beats, baby?" I whispered. Juliet meets my eyes and nods again, "I'm alive; I'm here, and I'm not leaving you."