not edited, excuse any mistakes.
CHAPTER FIVE:
" LUCKY'S DILEMMA "
£
" I wish I could believe you, then I'll be alright. But now everything you told me? Really don't apply. To the way, I feel inside, loving you was easy. Once upon a time, but now my suspicions of you? Have multiplied. And it's all, because you lied.
£
8/22/21
Sekani Anika Grace | Lucky
Weiss Memorial Hospital, Chicago, IL
____________________________
My mother always told me as a child, that when life gives you lemons? You're supposed to make lemonade. And try to make the best out of your situation, no matter how drastic, shitty, or bad that it's going? You're still supposed to smile, and act as if nothing is going wrong.
And for some people? That task comes off quite simple. Rather than for me? It isn't as easy as my mom likes to make it seem. Seeing that right now in this very moment? That I was laid against a hospital mattress.
With a numerous amount of cords and bandages attached to my arms, as well as my face. Causing me to keep my eyes shut tightly, so that I could avoid having to make eye contact with any of the nurses.
Who continued to come in and out of the room, constantly monitoring me. While questioning if I had felt any better? From the time when I had first gotten here.
" Lucky? Answer the doctors baby." My mama mumbled softly, as she sat against a chair that was placed towards the left of the bed. " Mm-mm." I shook my head side to side weakly.
Feeling a stray tear begin rolling down my face, due to the sharp pain that had shot up and down my back, from me moving out of my previous position.
" Lucky? Y-you've gotta communicate. And tell them if you're okay or not? Before you get home and you end up getting hurt or something again baby."
" She doesn't have to talk if she isn't ready ma'am. We just wanted to check her vitals again, and do one last ultrasound before she was discharged. And also if you don't mind me asking? Did she–well Miss?"
The nurse who had blonde hair, with a messy ponytail turned her attention towards me. As she smiled softly holding onto her clipboard, looking as if she were a bit nervous to ask me the question she had.
"...Were you planning on keeping your baby, now that we've discovered that you're three weeks? Or would you like to discuss some alternatives that we can take? Being that as your mother said, this was an unplanned and unexpected pregnancy.."
" Because besides abortion? If you aren't up to keeping your child? Adoption is always an option. And the paperwork for choosing to do that? Isn't a lot at all. And it's–"
" Respectfully, miss? I don't think that adoption or abortion for that matter? Are things that we should be discussing with my daughter right now. Being that she did almost just miscarriage, after she was in an altercation with multiple people, who in her mind? She thought were her friends."
My mama said dryly, beginning to stare up at the nurse with a frown across her face. " ..Oh.." The nurse mumbled inaudibly, continuing to hold onto her clipboard tightly.
" You're absolutely right ma'am, and I truly apologize for trying to force this topic upon you and your daughter. It was completely inappropriate of me to do so, and whenever she is ready and well enough to give me an answer? Just hit that button above her bed. And then the three of us can discuss this matter, once the time is right."
"..."
"..."
" Mm-hm, thank you." My mama waved the nurse off dismissively, as she began exiting from out of the room. Which caused me to peek open my left eye slowly, all while shaking my head once more.
Regardless of the fact, that I was still in an unbearable amount of pain right now.
" That was rude." I told her, turning my lip upwards a bit. " No, her asking you did you want an abortion or to sign adoption papers? Was rude."
" But what if I want the abortion?" I questioned, sitting my body up a bit as I did so. " What?" My mama asked softly, looking a bit taken back by my response.
" What if I don't want this baby, mama?"
" And what if getting an abortion? Is something that I want. Because you never once asked me yourself if it was something that I wanted either, now that I'm thinking about it. And honestly? I find that kind of sad."
" B-but why wouldn't you want to keep your baby Lucky? Like I don't understand. And I know that you and Von are going through a lot right now? But that baby is just as much as his? As it is yo–"
" Oh my God, are you serious right now?" Chucking bitterly with hot tears rolling down my face, I hit the button that was above the hospital mattress. All while mugging my mama during the process after I did so.
" Dayvon cheated on me mama." I spat angrily, snatching out one of the cords that were against my arm. " H-he cheated, and he lied, a-and he sat there and allowed me to get jumped!"
" By Kayla and the bitch that he chose to cheat on me with. So do you honestly think that I care or want to bring another baby into this world right now, that's by him after all of that? Because if you do? Than you're stupid."
"..."
"..."
" ... You're stupid and a hypocrite, if you actually believe that I should have another baby by a man. Who doesn't even know how to be a man or let alone act like one? Whenever shit hits the fucking fan!"
"..."
" ..Lucky? I..just hear me o–"
" No." my head shook once more. " I'm not hearing out anything? That you have to say to me mama."
" B-because you're a hypocrite. And if I just told you that Dayvon cheated on me, and that he watched and allowed his sister and the girl he cheated on me with to jump me? Then why on God's fucking earth, do you think that I should keep this fucking baby?"
" And don't you dare try to say anything regarding Nalah? Either. Because Nalah is gone mama." My voice cracked, just as the door to my hospital room had reopened.
As Kennedy and Booka walked inside the room, with looks of pity and sadness present across their faces.
" Nalah is gone? And she's never coming back, okay? S-so just forget about her and let her go, like I have. Because nothing or nobody on this earth? Could ever replace her or make me feel happy or loved? In the way that she made me feel during the time that she was alive."
" Not even a new baby?" My mama sniffed, with her head facing downwards towards the ground.
" Not even a new baby, so Ken? Could you tell the nurse with the blonde hair, who's out in the hallway to come back in the room please? Because I've made my decision. And while the three of you might not agree? At the end of the day, this is my body."
" And my mental state? Isn't in the best shape anyways. For me to even be considering keeping a child by a man? Who would slap me the hell around over nothing? Whenever I made him feel bad, about all the things that he's done to me or put me through."
" Slap you around?" Booka leaned his head back, staring directly at me with a look of disbelief.
" That's what I said, didn't I? And yes, Von was very toxic, manipulative, and abusive towards me? Over the last three and a half months. But of course since I loved him and we were together? I kept up face."
I shrugged my shoulders hardly, keeping my head facing down towards the bed blankets.
"...I kept up face, a-and I never told anybody about it. Because I honestly thought that he would change for me and get better? But he never did. And I'd really appreciate it if you guys could take this secret to the grave? Because there's nothing any of you can do to change what he's done to me now.."
" Because it happened and it's over, and all of it is in the past now. S-so just go get the nurse for me ple–oh, well on second thought? Don't worry about doing it for me now, because she's already here."
Drying off my eyes with the back part of my hand, I then began to attempt to get out of the bed on my own. Only to fail, and fall back against the sheets. Once another sharp pain, coming from the area near my stomach? Had shot upwards.
Causing me to cry out in pain and clutch onto my stomach on automatic. " Could you all step out of the room for me please?" The nurse asked aloud, as she rushed to my side.
Pulling up the ends of my gown, after she placed a pair of fresh gloves on. " S-step out!?" My mama asked frantically, attempting to come over to the opposite side of the bed, so that she could see what was going on with me.
" We can't stay in here." Ken whispered softly, holding her back by her arms. " She'll be oka–"
" I-I'm not leaving her!"
" Miss Sheil–"
" I'm not leaving!" Continuing to put up a fight, all while trying to stay put in her seat. My mama then, began to cry uncontrollably. While pleading with me to keep my baby, and to call Von. So he could know what was going on with me during the moment.
" H-he deserves to know Lucky!"
"..."
" Von deserves to kn–"
" Ma'am? I'm gonna need for you to step out of the room. Or I'll be forced to call security? To take you out instead." The nurse looked back and said to her.
All while she continued to inject something into my iv, which had caused the pain that I felt? To begin subsiding almost automatically.
" Go out in the waiting room mama." I glanced behind the nurse at her, trying ever so hardly to not begin crying again. " I'll be fine, okay? J-just g–"
" I feel like you're making a mistake Lucky!" She shouted at me angrily, taking everyone in the room, including myself? By surprise.
" I-I feel like you're making a mistake. And you can be mad at me or even worse? Hate me for doing this. B-but I'm telling Von about the baby."
" Lord bruh, it's too much shit going on in one fucking night." Booka stressed, with his hands running down his face.
" I don't think you can do that." Ken frowned her face up. " Like you can? But why would you want to do that?"
" After everything she just told us about him?"
" Why would you have dealings with Booka, knowing that your brother is his rival?" My mama shot back defensively, causing the entire hospital room to grow quiet.
"..."
"..."
" Out of respect for Lucky and her being one of my best friends? I'm gonna walk away and leave the room. But just know, that you deciding to call Von on her as if she isn't grown enough to make her own decision? Is very immature and sad. And as a mom and someone who I looked up to as a mother? I'm very disappointed in you."
Kennedy shook her head side to side, taking a moment to glance back at me. As I laid in the bed breathing heavily, with tears flowing down my cheeks uncontrollably.
" I love you Lucky." She told me, as her and Booka inched closer towards the door. " I Love you so much."
" Yeah, me too." Booka added in. " And I'an gone lie and say that when I see that nigga Von? That I'an gone say shit? Cause me being me? I might just snap that nigga hands in half."
" Cause fight on somebody who wanna fight. But I know you said for us to take the secret to the grave and shit like that? So I'ma try my hardest not to do shit to him for real. But you know that I'an going for none of this shit Luck, like he fucked up bad."
" And I'an gone ever look at that nigga the same again, after today? On O."
" I love y'all too." I sniffed, starting to cry harder out of the blue. Once I turned my head back over in my mom's direction. And I saw that she had her cellphone up against her ear, while she paced the floor back and forth.
" The baby will be gone by the time he gets here, you do know that right?"
" And that's fine." She shrugged her shoulders carelessly, with her face frowned up.
" He's already on the way now? Either way. So that's something that you can take up with him instead of me. Because I'm done Lucky, so if you feel like doing this inhumane act will help you? Then do it!"
"..."
"..."
" Just know that I won't be around to sit or watch you take an innocent life? That didn't even ask to be here, or get created!"
X.
8/23/21
" You're really giving him the truck back?" Kennedy asked me, as the two of us approached her front door.
" Yup." I answered plainly, wincing just a bit as she helped me sit onto the couch in her living room, once we had gotten into the house successfully.
" I rather start over and get my own everything? Instead of keeping something he got me. Because who's to say if he'll end up treating me how Durk did Trudy? After he gave her the truck she's got, you know?"
" Yeah, I get that. And you know that me and Booka will always be here to help you? With whatever you need too. Especially me, because you did a lot for me last year. And even though you'll probably say that you're good? I'd still like to help you in anyway that I can? Either way."
" I know." I mumbled, giving her a weak smile.
" And speaking of Trudy, have you talked to her lately?" She questioned hesitantly, coming towards me with a cold water bottle. " Nope." I shook my head.
" The last time we talked? We kind of argued a bit. And other than earlier tonight? She tried getting Von to let me leave with her, but I ended up getting rushed to the hospital after, so there's that."
" Ugh, I really hate it when the two of you? Aren't seeing eye to eye. Because I'm always left in the middle of it, and that sucks bad. Being that the two of you? Are my best friends." She sighed hardly, with her arms folded across her chest.
" Yeah I know, and it's not like I want you to be in the middle? Because I don't. Trudy and I are just..I don't know? Whenever we're mad at one another we give each other space. Like that's something that the two of us have always done. So I know that soon she might call me or something? Especially now that I've left the house and I just had my first abortion ever.."
" ..But what if she doesn't call?.." Ken asked sadly.
" Then she just won't call." I shrugged, acting as if I didn't care, when in reality? I did. But after everything that I had just went through the pass few hours? The last thing on my mind right now? Wasn't rekindling me and Trudy's relationship.
Because I knew my best friend, and I knew that regardless of how angry she may still be at me? That eventually? She'd call.
So who was I to stress over us not speaking? When this was something that happened between the two of us a lot.
" And you're one hundred percent okay with that?" Ken raised her eyebrows, watching me closely as she awaited for me to respond. " Of course not." I said truthfully.
" But I have other things going on in my life, that are way more important? Than me stressing about Trudy and I, right now. You know?"
" I guess so." Sighing hardly for the third time, after laying her head against my shoulder. Kennedy cut the television on afterwards, as the two of us began sitting in silence.
Allowing nothing but the sound of the show that was playing, along with our heavy breathing? To be heard.
" I know the doctors told me that I shouldn't be doing a lot of moving right now, after the surgery. But would you think that I was crazy, if I said that I wanted to go look at an apartment right now?" I asked aloud, picking with my acrylics nervously.
" Girl, why would I think that you're crazy for wanting to have your own place?" Ken laughed loudly, raising her head up from off of my shoulder.
" I don't know." I shrugging, being blatantly honest.
" I thought you would've said that it was too soon or something? Like my mom did."
" Well your mama is stupid, first of all? No shade, no tea. Like that shit she pulled at the hospital? Had me wanting to turn her ass every which way? But loose!"
" And secondly? I'm kind of glad you brung up wanting to go see an apartment. Because I'm pretty sure that your pockets are good and what not? Being that anytime Von gave you some money? You'd put it away to save."
"..But?..." Standing up from the couch with her hands on her hips, Ken began digging into her purse afterwards. While I sat with a confused expression on my face, watching her every move.
" But what?" I asked.
" I know that we're friends, and when friends do stuff for each other? We never expect anything back because that's just what we do. We do stuff for one another, and then we just keep going up and up, and back and forth. But I wanna do something for you, and you can't tell me no or to leave it alone? Because you deserve it Lucky."
" You deserve everything you want in life, and after everything you've been through behind the scenes? While hiding it as if nothing happened? I just feel like you deserve more. And me doing what I'm about to do? Probably isn't much. But I just want you to be happy Sekani."
" You're acting like you're about to propose to me or something?" I chuckled lightly, tilting my head to the side. " I can do that too, if you want that?" She joked.
Before placing two stacks of money against my lap, which made me stare down at it blankly, for a few moments. As I contemplated on how I should give it back to her, as I did so.
" Ken? I'm not taking th–"
" Didn't I just tell you that I'm not taking no for an answer? Now get up and put your slippers back on. So we can go get you your apartment!"
" Kennedy?" I said her name again, fighting to blink back my tears. " I said put your slippers on!" She clapped her hands together loudly.
" Because the faster we leave, and you pick the apartment that you want? Will dictate if we have enough time to go shopping for furniture and other stuff you'll need too."
"..."
"..."
" Lucky!"
" I'm moving, I'm moving." I got up from the couch slowly, slipping my feet into my hospital slippers.
" As you should, now put some pep in your step bookie butt!" She smiled widely, holding open the front door for me.
" Because we're about to shop until we drop bitch!"
"..."
"..."
" We're about to shop? Until we motherfucking drop."
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Sekani Grace
10m • 🌎
The last 2-3 months in my life have been very overwhelming and difficult, if you know? You know. And despite everything that has been thrown at me? I've managed to keep my head up the best way I know how. And I want to start off first? By just thanking God for keeping me sane through it all. Along with my friends and few family members who always check on me or call? Whenever I'm down. Because what on earth would I do without anyone of you? This journey of mine hasn't been easy at all, but I know that with time and continued prayer? That I will be alright. And this here? Is just step one, to me being the strong, independent woman? That I was born and raised/know that I can be. Because I've never owned anything in all my 21 years of being alive, but now? I can finally say that I own something. And I'd like to thank Kennedy Evans for dragging me out of the house today and pushing me to make this move. Because had she not? I probably would have been sitting inside of her living room, sulking and crying my heart out. But instead? I'm sitting here, in my 3 bedroom 2 1/2 bathroom, high rise apartment. Feeling as if I'm on top of the fucking world! 🥹 #tooblessedtobestressed #itslonelyatthetop #onlygoingupfromhere
#andmyfriendthankyoutomyfriend ❤️❤️
Liked by Kennedy Evans, Rashad Grace and 678 others
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i love you too & thank you.
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kingvonfrmdao 2h
Ew, I thought I blocked and unfollowed him.
big600booka 38m
itsmadgalkris 2h
I could've sworn that I blocked and reported her account too? While she's sitting up here trying to throw shade and be funny towards me on social media. Over a nigga that'll knock her lip fillers out? If she breathes around him the wrong way.
" Ken, did you get all of the bags from out the car!?" I shouted loudly, from the hallway. As I stood in the doorway of my new bedroom. Struggling to read the instruction manual that came along with my bed set.
" Yes!" She yelled back, just as the sound of the front door opening and closing, had filled my ears.
" Did you ever figure out how to put your bed up y–oh. Well just disregard that question, and forget I asked. Because I can see for myself? That you haven't gotten far."
" I haven't gotten far at all bitch." I laughed lightly, shaking my head. After handing the manual over to her instead, to see if she could understand it better than I could.
" I can see that."
" Not too much." Pointing my finger over in Ken's direction, after she sat against the floor and had begun putting my bed rails together.
I took this time to begin un-bagging everything that I had bought from Target. Up until the sound of my cellphone dinging twice? Had filled my ears.
Causing me to stop everything that I was doing, so I could pick it up and see who had texted me.
773-814-6051 now
If u ain't busy n u got time to talk ? Call my phone.
773-814-6051 now
This von.
" Bitch." I said aloud, rereading over the two text messages with my face balled up.
" What's wrong!?" Ken hollered from my bedroom, just as another text message had appeared at the top of my screen.
773-814-6051 now
It's a lotta shit we need to talk about that got read n took da wrong way. And ian never once cheated or thought about cheating on u ? Ever. So just call or text my phone ? Whenever u done doing whatever it is that u doing.
773-814-6051 now
Cause ian ready to let this go yet , so just hit me later or sum. And lmk where u wanna meet at, cause i rather talk in person instead being up otp.
" Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me right now." I laughed hysterically, tossing my phone aside afterwards. Once I had blocked and reported Dayvon's new number to Apple.
You have really got to be fucking kidding me right now, God.
______________________________
7220 update otw fr now, i just wanted to get this chapter out first. being that it follows up after the situation, where lucky had been jumped.