TW: student/child death, Suicide mention, Self harm
I had always been good and fooling others with my emotions. If someone were to ask me how my day was, I would just smile and nod, telling them: "My day is going great" or "I'm doing well thank you" and then be on my way.
Today, however... wasn't the case. A mission that I was on had just ended, it failed horribly resulting in two of my own students losing their lives. As I walked through the door of my shared home with my husband Kento, the whole house was illuminated by the gorgeous lights we had in our home. The smell of a lovely home-cooked dinner came from the kitchen, indicating that Nanami was just finishing off dinner.
"You're home just in time, how was your day?" Nanami asked clearing the countertop. "It was good.." I muttered softly. the sounds of pans clattering stopped and I felt his gaze fall on me. "You know I hate it when you do that" he spoke. His town was harsh, but not in a mean tone. A tone that was filled with love and concern.
A large lump formed in my throat as I averted my gaze to meet his. The second our eyes locked together the tears came flooding out. Nanami's face changed from his stern gaze to one filled with worry. He was quick to rush to my side, quickly wrapping me in his arms.
"What happened darling?" he asked "I failed... I failed Kento! I couldn't keep my students safe! I couldn't get there in time!" I cried out, I didn't need to say any more for Nanami to know what I meant. Nanami took my hand in his and guided me over to the living room, sitting down on the sofa and bringing me into his arms again, his left hand rested on my waist as the other brought my head to lay on his chest.
"I tried everything Kento..." "I know you did." "It wasn't enough...I'm so weak..." "You are not weak. Who told you that you are weak?" Nanami asked. "...Gojo..." i muttered, remembering the words that he had thrown at me harshly when I returned back to the school.
"How could you not protect those Kids y/n! As their teacher, you have a duty to put your life on the line for them! What kind of a teacher are you to let your students die like that!" Gojo yelled, "Gojo stop she already feels bad enough as it is!" Shoko tried to interveine but gojo ignored her "None of this would have happened if you weren't so damn Weak Y/n! god even your own Husband is better at keeping the kids safe than you are and he aint even a teacher here!" Gojo yelled
Nanami wasn't happy with the way Gojo had spoken to me and we ended up driving back to the school. When we walked in Gojo and the other sorceres were gathered still discussing the manner.
"Oh great what is she doing back here!?" Gojo asked annoyed "We told you to go home y/n and rest, we will discuss what happened today in the morning" Yaga stated. "Yeah, I know..." I mumbled "But I brought her here. The hell is wrong with you insulting her like that Gojo!" Nanami stepped in front of me and he was visibly angry.
"Nanami this is a discussion for the teachers" Gojo stated "I technically am i teacher, I take on the older sorcerers do I not? I even take on that kid of yours, Itadori. And whether or not I am a teacher when it comes to you insulting my wife then it does become my business. Nobody insults my wife gojo. you of all people should know that I do not tolerate it!" Nanami yelled.
"Your little wife killed two of our students!" Gojo stood up. "Gojo she did't kill them. an investigation has been carried out, y/n did everything in her power to save those children, it was just unfortunate that the cursed spirit that they were dealing with was a special-grade curse that happened to be stronger than we anticipated. We should have sent another grade one sorcerer to help her out. this was in no way her fault." Mei Mei spoke up.
"Gojo I know that you love your students...you would do anything for them, I know that and I wish that it was me who died out there instead of those kids Gojo..." I spoke softly trying not to give myself a voice crack. I felt Nanami wrap an arm around my shoulder and I couldn't even look at anyone now.
"yeah? Well you can tell that to the parents when they get here. You failed them y/n. Take responsibility." Gojo says "Okay Gojo enough, Y/n will not be telling the parents, as the principal that is my job" Yaga stopped Gojo. "No Yaga she needs to take responsibility. she should at least be present during the meeting and Give a formal apology to the family" Gojo says
"Enough already! Wether it was y/n or Mei Mei. Or any other sorcerer Gojo those kids would have ended up dead regardless!" Nanami stated. "Not if I had gone" "Well you didn't! I was there! I know I'm weak! Okay Gojo! I'm the weakest sorcerer of us all here I know that! But I did EVERYTHING in my power to at least try and protect those kids!" I yelled. Tears were streaming down my face and Everything just came out.
"I wish it was me okay! I should have died not them! I get up every day hoping that something would just come and kill me! But no matter what happens others get hurt or killed! I put a smile on every day around those kids and everyone else around so that you all won't worry when really I just wish that it was me who dies on those missions!"
"Y/n you don't mean that-" "Yea I do Gojo! Ever since Haibara died..." I mumbled. "You've been feeling this way for 12 years?" Yaga asked.
I nodded as Shoko made me sit down. I looked at Nanami who was standing there with a pain filled look on his face. "Kento..."
"Are you suicidal..." he asked
I didn't want to answer. I knew this would shatter him and take a toll on our marriage...
"Y/n answer me. are you!? Do you think about killing yourself?"