Uncle Jacob and I are eating at the end of the long dinner table.
We were served pork with a honey sauce and carrots. As I requested, we are eating dinner and lunch when he can, everyday, together.
It pained me to know he used to eat alone.
With Clarisse, meals were always a moment of sharing. About what happened during our day or what we were going to do. We were trying out new recipes, sometimes really good ones and sometimes not really edible ones...
I miss her. Sometimes at night, before falling asleep I think about her. Where she might be, why she left me like that and why did she hide me. Why didn't she tell me the truth? I would've stayed with her.
If nobody would've gone for me, even though I would've known about my real identity, I think I would've stayed with her.
- I had some questions, I start, swallowing my food.
-Go ahead, Uncle Jacob looks at me and replies instantly.
- About the great war. I heard stories when I was younger but I don't know the full one. What really happened?
All I know is that it happened 18 years ago and that I was born during it. The blackhearted king, the king of the dark kingdom tried to destroy Eden. He possessed magic from a very ancient force and attacked the four parts of the kingdom.
I know that he didn't succeed.
-You know who is the blackhearted king? Uncle Jacobs asks me
I nod and put a fork of food into my mouth.
-His name was Renton Aartmik. It means "Lonely Soul" in an ancient language.
-That's kind of a sad name... I frown.
-He carried it well. He was a lonely man.
- Was?
- He died after the war was over. One thing that most people don't remember or don't want to is that he was the brother of Logan Aartmik.
I knew I had already heard that name.
- My father, I breath out.
- Yes, he nods. They never got along as kids and it was even worse when they grew up. Something terrible happened to them...
- What was it?
- They fell in love with the same woman.
- Let me guess: my mother? I raise my eyebrows.
- You catch on fast; he smiles discreetly. Your mother and I were from another kingdom. At first, we only came in the south kingdom as visitors. Our two countries wanted to get along and make alliances. And your mother and I met the two heirs of the south kingdom: Logan and Renton.
I stop eating because I'm too much into this story. I didn't know about all that and I really want to know more about my mother's past. Uncle Jacob had already mentioned that he didn't really like my father.
- Your mother fell in love too. With Logan. They got married quite fast and I had to move into the south palace with her too.
- What about Renton? I ask.
- He was devastated. His brother already had everything he wanted: he was the heir to the crown, the oldest, he was his parent's pride and joy and now he got to be with the woman they both loved.
- But it was my mother's choice, right? If he really loved her, he should've accepted to let her go right?
- Well yes, of course.
- So? What happened after that?
- He wanted to take revenge on his brother.
- Oh, okay. That's why, I raise my eyebrows again.
The man declared a war for a woman. Pretty damn tough. Or stupid.
- He needed more power and had heard about an old flower which possessed ancient powers, from another time, that had grown under another dynasty, a hundred years ago. We say that a long time ago, on these same grounds, magicians used to live and practiced magic. He did get his hands on that flower. We never got to know if it had worked tough.
- What do you mean? Didn't he have powers?
- Maybe, but he never used them. He sent an army towards Eden. A deadly war ensued but he never got to use his powers. He wanted to kill your father.
- But he didn't. What happened to him?
I see him hesitate. It seems like he is choosing his words. Almost when I caught Clarisse lying. I frown and wait for him to keep going. It is weird how, sometimes, when I ask him a question he just stops for a few seconds or hesitate to answer before he does.
Finally, he starts again:
- After he had heard of you birth, he wanted to kill you, to punish your parents.
- That's when my mother decided to hide me. I add.
- Yes. But he disappeared just after, never finding you. Your father died a few months after that, from an uncurable disease due to an epidemic that was raging in the kingdom after the poor living conditions the people had been living in.
It makes me sad for them. Two brothers hating each other and fighting over a woman for so long and dying for nothing.
- Your mother ended up dying out of heart break, I guess. Until this day we haven't heard from him and everyone believes he died in his own hatred, Uncle Jacob finishes his story.
- Do you really believe it? I ask, that this man, well my uncle I guess, wanted to kill his lover's daughter?
It doesn't seem right to me. How could he try to inflict such pain to someone he loves?
- That he'd want to kill my father, maybe but me? I ask again.
- Some people just can't see clear when they hate so much, he says.
- Also, you know I can tell you didn't like my father; I raise my eyebrows at him with a knowing expression on my face. You can tell me if he was an ass, as someone with so much power that wouldn't surprise me.
- He was certainly a difficult man to understand. You know I didn't know him that well, he says.
Lies.
- I heard rumors about him as a child, I continue. That he was an abuser, I finally dare to say. You need to tell me if it's true. I don't want to think about him as a great person if he wasn't. I want to make my parents up in my mind as they really were.
I wait for his answer, trusting him to tell me the truth.
Uncle Jacob sighs and admits:
- There were rumors...
- Of course, I shake my head, disappointed.
- But I asked your mother, she denied it. I never knew if it was true or not, he looks at his plate.
I have doubts about this. I have the feeling that he is only saying that so I don't have a too bad opinion of my father. But why would there be rumors like that if it wasn't partially true?
- Didn't they love each other? I ask.
- They did. That is why I'm telling you this but there are high chances that it was false.
- Power can change people though. Even someone you know and love, I tell him.
- Maybe, but it doesn't change everybody.
I shake my head, not agreeing.
People who go from evil to good, if these two things really do exist, were always good in the first place. Same thing from those who turn into bad persons. They were already damaged from the beginning. Plus, you don't turn into a bad or good person. It's not about becoming it's about who you are. If you stay true to yourself or not. Change only occurs when the person realizes they were never really honest with themselves from the start.
- You don't believe people can truly change? Uncle Jacob asks me, surprised.
- No, not really. I think it's all about perception. We might see someone who did really bad things and was really evil then regret it and redeem themselves but maybe that was because we never got the whole story and why they did that. Maybe they never were evil in the first place. As for someone everybody has always adored and has done good things all their life, if one day we realize they are bad and we say they have changed, maybe they were always like this in the first place.
- Don't you think people can be both mean and kind? Isn't that what life is all about: mistakes that forge us to choose who we want to be. We get to choose our side, he arguments.
- I'm not sure. Maybe we are predestined to always be on one side. In the end, we choose. And maybe we were always meant to choose one side or the other.
- You certainly see it a different way that I do. I believe in redemption, he says.
- And I think, no matter what, we need to face the consequences of our actions, I reply.
- One doesn't prevent the other.
- Sure, I end up saying.
We finish dinning and I go to the stable to see Maisy and Daisy.
I take Maisy on a walk. First, I brush her and feed her an apple I brought from the kitchen.
The staff is always surprised to see me there, but as far as I know, it's not forbidden to go there.
I can still ride Maisy, although she isn't really fast and tires up easily. The fresh breath of the evening is very pleasant and we walk until the first trees of the forest are close enough and then I bring her back to the stables.
I walk back inside the palace, through the west corridor and pass by the ball room. I remember briefly how I had trained with Chase there. A shadow of a smile crosses my face.
I keep walking and enter the hall but I hear voices from Uncle Jacob's office. His door isn't closed and the hallway is a little echoey so I can almost hear everything.
I think he is talking with one of the gardeners.
- What do you mean ivy? I hear uncle Jacob asking him.
- It's everywhere, the gardener says. We are trying really hard to get rid of it but it comes back and grows really fast and thick.
- You mean the one on the east wall? How long has it been happening? My uncle seems concerned.
- For a little more than a month.
- Alright, just do you best, uncle Jacob sighs.
I hear shuffles of papers and a chair scraping on the floor. I quickly start walking up the stairs but the gardener says:
- Oh, and one last thing your majesty. It's a little strange but there wasn't only ivy. We saw some flowers growing with it.
- What kind of flowers?
- Roses your majesty. And they had a lot of thorns. Really strange roses...
- I see. Thank you for telling me, Uncle Jacobs finally says.
Roses. Why roses? I know that my mother had planted roses in my honor all along the path leading toward the palace and on facade too.
But as I remember well, the ivy on the east wall, under my window and balcony doesn't have any roses. Just the garden and the facade of the palace. But why does it sound like such a problem? The roses were put there as an homage to me.
The gardener goes away and my uncle is left alone.
Before I take the stairs to my room upstairs, I hear him muttering:
- So, it was true after all. Oh gosh, Keira! how I wish you were there, he sighs heavily.
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Hello ! It's almost Christmas ?????? I'm so happy. Here's to a new chapter !