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Word count: 2433
MADELINE DID NOT expect BTS to stay with her, even after that awkward conversation. They each dedicated time alone with her, attempting to strike up a conversation. After an hour of that happening, Madeline stood up on wobbly feet, causing the closest member to rush over.
Hoseok looked brighter than the sun. His unkempt hair somehow worked so well for him. And his blinding smile was hard to resist. His brown orbs centered on her, holding her gaze captive. She had watched many BTS videos and knew that he could turn into an enchanting man when he wanted to.
The look he gave her right now made her crumble. How was she supposed to survive when he looked at her like that?
His arm slid around her waist; his body heat seared through the thin cloth. His other hand accidentally brushed over her hand, igniting the bond. Madeline stifled a gasp. She had experienced the effect with Taehyung but she still couldn't prepare herself for the onslaught of emotions.
Namjoon and Jimin were the only ones who had bonded with her whilst she was sleeping. If she was conscious of that, she wondered if bonding with her fourth soul mate would feel easier. Probably not.
It occurred to her that maybe her soul mates were using opportunities like this to touch her. Four had already kick-started the bond. There were only three left.
Once all seven had turned her marks gold, they would be bonded for life. Rejection would be a lot harder.
"I've got you," He muttered in Korean. Since she had already bonded with three of her soul mates—well, four now—she instantly knew what he said. It felt too weird for her.
"I—," She stuttered, pathetically. Hobi seemed to place a facade that he had recovered quicker than her. His eyes glinted with pride and adoration as he stared into her wide orbs. "I'm good now. You can let go."
The light in his eyes dimmed slightly, "And what if I don't want to?"
She was flabbergasted by his obvious flirting. What felt worse was that she was turned on by it.
No, don't succumb to him. Stay strong.
Madeline stepped away from him, unlatching herself from him. His burning gaze was unrelenting as he watched her hobble towards the door. The three other soul mates that were in the room with her subtly watched her, prepared to catch her if she fell.
"Are you alright, Madeline?" Jin asked from his seat next to Jungkook.
Begrudgingly, she glanced over her shoulder, "I'm fine. I just need some...space."
They all knew what she meant by that—she needed to get away from them. Madeline turned away when she caught a glimpse of their hurt expressions. Guilt gnawed inside of her belly.
You're hurting these men who have been nothing but kind to you. Where is the malice you were expecting? A quiet voice asked in the back of her head.
She grimaced at the thought.
Madeline pushed the door open and walked towards the nurse's desk. She hoped to find Aggie—the kind nurse who had helped her in her moment of need. An unfamiliar woman was stationed behind the brown desk, typing on the computer. At her arrival, she flickered her electric blue eyes up.
"May I help you, Miss Smith?" Madeline thought it was a bit creepy that she knew her name. She must have helped her whilst she was asleep.
"I—I was wondering if you have a cafe or garden. I want to go somewhere quiet." Madeline requested, desperate to not be around her soul mates.
The woman sighed, "Your records state you shouldn't go anywhere alone, Miss Smith."
Madeline's hope deflated at that. Did she have to have one of her soul mates follow her around?
"I promise I don't feel unwell. I will seek help if I feel bad." She begged, her eyes pleading with the middle-aged woman. She just wanted to gather her thoughts and have alone time. Everybody had been hovering around her.
The nurse stared at her desperate expression and relented. "Fine, but you have thirty minutes."
Plastering a grateful smile on her face, she hobbled away from the desk and wandered through the halls. The further she got from the room where her soul mates were, the emptier she felt.
She pushed down the horrible feeling. It was pathetic to feel pity for yourself. That was one of the few things her mother had drilled into her.
Madeline found herself at a small cafeteria, where patients and their visitors were sat, talking. She noticed one person in particular who was hunched over a table, typing furiously on their phone.
Her feet began moving on their own, heading in that direction. She stopped just in front of the man and cleared her throat.
His warm brown eyes drifted up to her face and stilled. A sheepish expression formed on his face.
"I—uh, hi," He mumbled so unlike his usual, confident, and charming self.
She cocked her head to the side, "What are you doing here, Jensen?"
Madeline pulled the chair opposite him out and fell into the seat. She didn't want to admit to him that her legs were already getting tired. Her body was a lot weaker than she anticipated.
"Well," He scratched the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact. "I'm here for you."
Madeline already knew this—she doubted he casually hung around the hospital. "Yeah, I already assumed that. But why?"
His brown orbs snapped to her face, widening in disbelief. "Do you really think I wouldn't come to check on my friend who was in a coma? Ouch, Madi. That hurts." He played off his hurt with a flat joke.
"Sorry," She apologized, sincerely. She didn't even realize her questioning could offend him. She felt like a bad friend.
"As soon as you collapsed, I knew it had something to do with the soul suppressants. It scared me to death." He started rambling, letting his buried fears come to light. Madeline had been so stuck in her own world, that she didn't even ask about how Jensen was doing. He had witnessed her collapse and had probably brought her to the hospital. The fact he was here showed his concern.
"Watching that happen must have been terrifying," She muttered, swallowing the lump in her throat.
He gave her his complete attention to her and locked his intense eyes with hers, "Madi, I have something important to say to you. If I don't say it now, it'll eat me up. I'm so sorry for giving you those drugs. I rushed you into taking them. You didn't have time to think about it properly. You're in this hospital because of me."
Immediately, she was vigorously shaking her head, "No, that's not true. It was my decision. You didn't push me to do anything. I decided to take them. I wanted them. You were trying to help me."
A conflicted look flitted over his face, "I still shouldn't have mentioned them to you. I wanted to ease your suffering."
She wanted to lie and tell him that he did ease her suffering. But it felt wrong to conjure up a lie for a conversation like this. During that week on the pills, she felt like shit. Her brain was constantly fuzzing and there was an unbearable pain in her chest.
The whole reason she ended up in the hospital—aside from abusing the drugs—was because her soul was denying the drugs. It didn't want to break the bond. She hated that. Her mind was made up. Why did her soul have to make things difficult?
"I have something to admit," Madeline sucked in a shaky breath. "I was abusing the drugs. I was taking more than I should have."
Concern and disappointment flashed in his orbs. He sat up straighter at the news, genuinely surprised by the new information. "Y–you what? Madi, do you know how dangerous that is? Jesus Christ. Why would you do that?"
She was glad to hear there wasn't any anger in his voice. Only worry. Shouting at her wouldn't change the past nor would it help her road to recovery.
"Because I wanted to completely destroy the bond." She replied, bluntly.
In her mind, taking more drugs meant the bond would shatter into a thousand pieces. She didn't care about the effects on her soul. She didn't care that it was dramatic and crazy. She just wanted an escape.
Jensen struggled to find a reply. "I don't even know what to say." He admitted, stunned. "Aren't your soul mates here?"
This time, it was her turn to be surprised. What did he know about her soul mates? Had they met? Did he know who they were?
"How do you know about them?" She asked in a rush. She didn't want any more people to know who they were.
"I got Freya's number when you were rushed in. She told me they've been staying here with you. She hasn't told me a lot but she says they really care about you." He said, unintentionally stabbing her heart.
Madeline tilted her face away from him, trying to blank his words. "They don't. It's all a front."
She heard him sigh in exasperation, "How do you know that? What have they told you?"
"A bunch of lies and false promises." She responded; certain her words were right. "They are acting like they won't ditch me once this is over."
The look in Jensen's eyes was hard to decipher.
"Madi, I'm going to give you some cheesy life advice." He suddenly blurted out, smiling sheepishly. "You're probably going to take it with a pinch of salt, which is fine. But at least hear it out and consider it."
Skeptically, she slowly nodded her head. "Okay..."
"If you don't give them a chance, you'll always believe what your brain is telling you. How can they prove you wrong if you don't give them a chance?" He said to her, grabbing onto her hand. She enjoyed the warmth but couldn't help but feel like his touch was not the one she was after.
"If I give them even an inch of trust and they prove me right, then I'll be destroyed. I—I can't do it. I can't risk it." She reluctantly told him.
He nodded his head in understanding, "It's a scary thing. But you can't hide away forever. I get the impression they won't leave you alone."
"I just don't understand why the universe is doing this to me. I never wanted a soul mate. And now I have seven."
"I could say the universe works in mysterious ways," She blanched at that comment. He seemed to be stuck in an endless loop the generic, cringey comments. "But the truth is, we'll probably never know. What I've learned from school is that most people are tied together because they have a destined path they have to walk along. You'll find that most soul mates boost and complement each other. I'm not sure if it's true that your souls are literally split in half at birth but I believe they are tied together but a powerful and good force."
She carefully considered his words. He had never spoken about soul mates like that to her before. Usually, Jensen was quite reserved about his own thoughts. She recalled that evening they spent together just over two weeks ago. He had talked about free will and the lack of knowledge surrounding soul mates.
What made him change his mind? Or had he been lying?
"But...you said..."
"I never said I didn't want a soul mate, Madeline. I said I didn't have one. They are two different things. Of course, I'd like to have one. I believe there must be a reason why I don't have one; maybe one day, I'll find out why." He corrected her.
"Mads?" Her youngest brother's voice called from behind her. She glanced over her shoulder to see Lemar and Dash both stood by the entrance to the cafe. Their eyes darted from Madeline and her joined hand with Jensen's.
Her two brothers stalked towards their table; their faces unreadable.
"Who's this?" Lemar asked with a hint of protectiveness in his voice.
"This is Jensen. He's a friend." She answered, letting go of his hand. "What are you guys doing here?"
"We're here to see you, duh," Dash replied, playfully rolling his eyes. "Dad said we had to give you some time to visit before you woke up. The nurse at the desk said we'd probably find you here."
"Is he one of your soul mates?" Lemar's voice sliced through the awkward atmosphere.
Jensen let out a small, dry laugh.
"Uh, no. He's a friend from college." She repeated, hoping they would get the picture. If Lemar assumed Jensen was one of her soul mates, did that mean he didn't know who her soul mates were? "If you're here, then where's dad?"
"Oh, he's speaking to Freya. I think she's catching him up on everything." Dash supplied, tucking his hands into his jean's pockets.
"And my mom?" She queried in a quiet voice.
The two brothers shared a look. Madeline knew what that meant. Letting out a long breath, she sent Jensen an apologetic look. "I guess I'll have to go. It was good seeing you."
To his credit, Jensen managed to smile brightly at her. "Yeah, it was. Please consider what I said."
Reluctantly, she nodded her head.
Her two brothers helped her up and flanked her sides. Even though they were a few years younger than her, they towered over her. She usually didn't consider herself to have a small stature but around her brothers, she thought differently.
"I'm sorry Larisa couldn't come," Dash leaned in and whispered in Madeline's ear.
"It's fine," She lied, smiling through the pain. "She's probably busy."
They all knew that wasn't true. Thankfully, neither of them called her out or said anything about it.
"So, how's school going?"
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