NOT PROOFREAD!
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Prologue:
.
Pt 1:
You're looking out the window in your dorm. The sky is crystal clear and a bright blue. Warm sun is shining in your face and your heart laughter and chatter echo into your room.
The majority of the studentship is outside, enjoying the good weather.
But you are forced to stay in your dorm.
You slam your book on the table. Stupid ancient runes essay.
An hour later when your head is spinning, your phone starts buzzing on your bed.
Thankful for the distraction you get up and grab the phone. It's your boyfriends calling.
"Hey Ced.", you accept the call.
"My darling where are you?", he asks. You can hear people talking in the background and water splashing.
It hits you like a brick: you were supposed to be at the black take - a look on the time - 20 minutes ago.
"Oh baby I'm sorry, I was stuck with homework and I didn't check the time. But I'll be there soon, just let me put on my bikini."
Cedric laughs. "Hurry, I miss you!", he says and then ends the call.
You quickly pull your bathing suit out of your dresses and put it on, then throw a floral, mid-length dress on top. With a towel in one hand and a bottle of water in your other, you head out of the castle.
It takes you ten minutes to make it to the spot where you are supposed to meet Cedric and his friends and by the time you reached them, sweat is rolling down your temple. It's incredibly hot.
You trip your things next to Cedric towel and scan the surroundings for him. He's no where to he seen.
"Hey guys, where's Ced?", you ask the circle of people that have gathered on the green grass to play a card game. "Dunno, he rushed off with two others. This direction.", a girl answers, motioning towards three single trees. In the distance, you can see a figure that looks like Cedric.
"Thanks.", you say and walk their way.
Halfway you think that you should probably let Cedric talk to his friends in peace and that if would he rude to interrupt them, but on the other hand it would be weird to turn around and walk back. In the end, you decide to take the risk of appearing rude, but you want to give Cedric some time, so you walk really slow.
Their conversation hits your ear and you feel like a eavesdropper.
"I want to back out.", Cedric says.
One of his friends starts laughing, the other speaks up. "You can't just back out. That would cost you 50 galleons."
From your angle, you can't see Cedric's face bout his body, so you can see the way he shrugs his shoulders. "I'll give you the money."
The friend that had laughed, now throws his hands in the air. "Why are you chickening out though?"
Cedric sighs. "Fuck, cause I fell for her."
Both of the friends gasp. "No way!"
Cedric laughs, but it doesn't sound happy. "Yes way."
You don't understand what's so bad about the fact that he had fallen for you. Considering the fact that he has already told you he loves you multiple times that shouldn't be that much of a big deal. But what his feelings for you have to do with 50 galleons is a riddle to you.
"Then you need to tell her about the bet."
Cedric sighs. "I know. But how? I can hardly walk up to her and say 'Hey, y/n, I only started dating you because of a bet but I love you so forgive and forget.'"
Your stomach drops at his words. What the actual hell?
Considering the way Cedric turns on his heels, you said that out loud.
"Fuck, darling-"
You interrupt him. "So this is how it is...", you croak, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. The harder you try, the bigger it gets.
Cedric reaches out for you but you take a step back. He drops his hands, hurt. "No, that's not it. I mean, yeah it is but-"
You slap him across the face before he can finish. "Fuck you.", you hiss and turn on your heels. Cedric runs after you, begging you to hear him out, but you ignore all this pleads and grab your belongings when you reached his friend group again.
"Fuck, y/n, you don't understand. I wanted to back out for so long."
You turn and poke his naked chest with your index finger. There's still drops of water in his skin and you start tearing up as you think about how far things went downhill. "We're fucking done, Cedric Diggory. Better take the money. It's everything you'll have left of me."
With that, you storm off.
Thank god he is in a different house. That way you won't have to fear him seeing you break down in the middle of the common room.
Pt 2:
After you begged and begged, your parents managed to persuade Professor Dumbledore to free you from school for two weeks. Cedric just wouldn't leave you alone and your friends were telling you how he tried to sneak into your house or tried to convince them to hand you a message. It was too much to bear, so you wanted to spend time at home with your parents to get a pause, or at least a chance to think everything through.
You spend your time trying not to drown in pity and pain, instead let your parents distract you.
Eventually, the fourth night you spend at home, you didn't cry yourself to sleep.
On the crack of dawn at the fifth day, the bell ringed. You knew your parents didn't expect anyone and neither did you for no one knew were you were besides your friends at Hogwarts that had no permission to leave school.
Probably the mailman or something. Putting on a robe, yawning and stretching, you make your way to the door and open it with a polite smile.
However, the smile quickly collapsed as you see the last person you want to see standing at the doormat with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.
You attempt to throw the door into Cedric's face, but he slips his foot into the frame.
"I'm tempted to break your foot, Diggory.", you snarl.
His head is tilted but his eyes squint when you call him by his last name. "Don't call me Diggory, please. Call me ass, cheater, anything but that."
You scoff. "Still tempted."
Behind the snappy and mean facade was a lot of hurt and pain that waited to burst out. Your nose started tickling, a unmistakable sign for the tears that were about to form in your eyes.
"Just let me explain, please.", Cedric pleads, holding out the flowers for you to take them.
You cross your arms in front of your chest, causing Cedric to sigh and carefully place the flowers on the bench next to the door.
"Look, I was the biggest dick ever for even accepting that bet in the first place. It's true what you said, it's all my fault. I'm the only one to blame for the mess, but I never intended to hurt you."
You stand still and let him talk, trying not to let his words affect you in any way.
"I know I did and fuck, I hate me so much for it. But maybe you heard enough of the conversation at the lake to know I wanted to back out. I didn't take the money, and I never would take it. I-"
He sighs in frustration, not knowing what to say first as there are so many words in his head. "I knew for a long time that I was going to stop and I wanted to tell you so many times, but I was too afraid."
You laugh, it's not humorous though. "So what was your plan? Backing out and not ever telling me about the bet? Lying to me forever?"
He ruffles his hair wird his hands, sighing again. "No. I mean, I didn't have a plan but I wanted to figure something out. I thought about solutions ever since I realized I loved you. Can we please talk and search for a way to start over?"
Biting back tears, Cedric's voice breaks at the last words and you can't help the enormous lump that forms in your throat. His pain causes a bitter taste in your mouth, because it's so much worse then your own. You know it has to be that way but seeing his pain only adds to your misery. You want to hug him, but on the other hand he's the one liable for the situation you two are in and that makes you mad. Anger and sadness make a bad combination that's hard to deal with.
Gritting your death, you fight back the sympathy and force yourself to be consistent.
"I wish you would've told me in the beginning. That way we could've possibly figured something out. But now every memory we have together is tainted, and I can't just get over that. I'm really sorry, Cedric, because I love you too, but that's how it has to be. No we. Just you and me."
Your voice almost gives out at the end, but you manage to keep your voice somewhat steady.
Cedric shakes his head. "I can't accept that."
You squint your eyes shut and take a deep breath.
"Cedric, leave before my parents wake up. There's nothing else to talk about. Goodbye."
Without giving him a chance to respond, you shut the door. Booth of you lean your foreheads against the wood, standing on different sides but wishing things were different.
Pt 3:
Looking back at it, it was naive to assume that spending time away from Hogwarts - or Cedric, to be more specific - would make things any easier. Basically what you did was running from your problems, avoiding your pain, ducking away from your misery - call it whatever you want.
Funny enough, you expected Cedric not to make it this easy for you. Somehow you expected him to set up a camp at your parents doorstep and wait for you to take pity on him.
He did not. He went back to school, leaving you to yourself, but only after cursing out himself. He left the flowers on your porch where they remained until your father threw them away.
For Cedric, it was like acting against his instincts to give you your time to process, but he took the sour bite and did it, if only for you to realize that he does respect your boundaries.
But when you got back to school, oh did he put effort into wining you back.
The first thing you heard from your friends after setting foot into the castle is how Cedric had isolated himself from most of his friends while you were gone. You knew that had to be hard for him for he is such a social human. And without him having to tell you, you also knew that he did it to prove to you that he is willing to make effort.
It touched your heartstrings, but you did not cave in so easily.
So Cedric put more effort into it.
Since you were with your friends most of the time, and they knew very well how to keep him away from you, he had barely a chance to talk to you in person. But he would place a little note on your desk in your first class in the morning, saying all various kinds of things: from little compliments to your looks, over references to past memories to how Cedric won't give up on you.
In potions class that you had with him, he would observe you very well, only to find out if you need anything and then handing it to you before you could reach out, always a hopeful smile plastered on his face.
In the halls with your friends not around, he would carefully approach you and try to talk to you, only to get cut off by you.
You tried desperately to stay strong, but everyday you felt it getting harder and harder. However, you managed to help up the facade of coldness.
That led to Cedric getting more and more frustrated - not by you, but by the knowledge of how severely he messed up.
Eventually, he turned quiet.
4 months into the break up, you get a call from your friend, asking of you had 'heard the news'. Confused, you ask what she was talking about, only for her to ending the call.
Five minutes later, she knocks on your door. "I couldn't tell you on the phone.", she blurts out.
Getting comfortable on your bed, she starts telling you about the rumor going around.
"I heard from Ginny Weasley, who heard from Lavender Brown, who claims she was a witness, that Cedric did beat up two of the guys he were friends with."
Having a faint idea of where this is leading, you take a seat yourself. When your friend describes the guys, you are not surprised that they seem to be the ones that were involved in the bet.
"So, rumor has it that they openly insulted you in front of Cedric and that he lost his temper. They started a massive fight, and it took two guys to get Cedric off of them. Rumor also says that Cedric got a broken hand, but broke a jaw, a nose and a collar bone in return. Looks like he was really pissed.", your friends tells.
You only blink at that story. Cedric absolutely despise violence in any form, and him freaking out like that is a huge deal, especially after you thought he got over your break up.
"I think-", you friends sits up, kneading the pillow in her lap. "I hate that dick, but honestly, I think you should speak with Cedric. Be beat up two guys just because they insulted you. Maybe he does really have feelings for you."
You sigh...because you know she's right. Cedric can't run around and beat up other people.
And to be honest, you still miss him, even though you try not to. So far, you turned every other guy down that tried to hit on you, because it felt wrong. Getting intimate or even texting with someone that is not Cedric Diggory feels wrong. The past weeks, you've been going back and forth, debating wether you should text him or not, and now you got the push you so desperately needed.
Grabbing the phone from your desk, you open the chat with Cedric and unblock him.
We need to talk., is all you write.
Pt 4:
As long as you were with your friend, you found it rather easy to ignore how your phone did not light up with a response from Cedric.
Now that she is gone, it gets harder and harder with every passing moment.
Cedric?, is your second message.
After a few seconds of staring at the screen, silently commanding Cedric through the phone, you toss it on your bed and pull out your books and parchment for the astronomy homework that is due soon.
Unfortunately, it offers little distraction. Still, you manage to bring up enough patience to wait another thirty minutes before you grab a jacket and head towards the Hufflepuff common room.
Surely, one of Cedric's friends would let you in, if not he himself.
Luckily, you spot one of them leaving the common room and stepping into the sunlit hallway.
"Hey!", you yell.
He turns around, furrowing his brows when he sees it's you. "Can I help you?", he asks.
You take a deep breath. No going back. "I need to talk to Cedric. He did not respond to my texts.", you explain your sudden appearance.
From a distance, you can see his eyes widen. "Uhm-"
Instantly, you assume the worst as you hear the tone in his voice. Maybe Cedric found himself a new girlfriend. Maybe he does not want you anymore. Maybe- maybe you are to late.
"I- sorry. I better go.", you mumble.
Before you can turn around, the boy catches you by the wrist. "Why do you want to talk to him?"
You frown. Is there any use in telling him if Cedric has moved on from you? Mostly not.
"Because if you just want to hurt him further, I can assure you he's already suffering enough today.", he adds.
Something about his tone is off, as if he means something more than just emotional pain. "What exactly do you mean?", you ask therefore.
He lets go off your arm. "He's in the infirmary. Got knocked off the broom by some Slytherin jerk during the game today."
Your eyes widen, n's your chest tightens. "What- tell me where he is!", you demand to know.
Something seems to convince him that you are indeed not willing to hurt Cedric further. Might be your voice, or the expression of your face. Whatever it is, you are glad he sees through it and opens the door to the Hufflepuff rooms. "In his dorm.", he says, tilting his head in the approximate direction.
You give him a breathless thank you and run towards Cedric's dorm, driven by worry and fear.
When your barge through the door into his room, you find him laying on his bed, his eyes closed in a facile slumber. The left side of his face is a dark violet, and the arm of the same side is tucked in tight by a bandage. Even in his sleep, his brows are furrowed - from uneasiness and pain probably.
Feeling endlessly guilty, you softly brush the hair out of his face. Then back off when he starts to stir in his sleep. Finally, he stills again, sighing deeply.
"I'm here now.", you mumble as you sit down on the floor on his side, resting your head on the mattress to watch his face, tracing every contour with your eyes. Only know you realize how badly you truly missed it.
Forgotten is the bet, and everything that happened since. In this moment, everything that counts is Cedric's health.
You start stroking the back of his hand with your thumb.
And as you watch the expression on his face soften, you know that you will find a way to start over again, if he is still willing to do so.
Part 5 (last part):
While you watch Cedric sleep in his bed, groaning in slight pain from time to time, you take your time to observe the surrounding. You did not realize it when you barged in first, with only place in your mind for worry, but his room is messy. Usually, Cedric is tidy and organized, keeping his room just like that.
But now, there are clothes and loose papers and empty bottles of water scattered everywhere.
You sigh, knowing all to well that the break up is the cause of this mess; in general, this mess most definitely mirrors the chaos inside of him.
You go to search for a book in his shelves - the book you always read when you were at his place -, and take a seat next to his sleeping figure and flip the book open.
The last page is marked; the edge folded over. It makes you smile instantly. Cedric always used to stay up a little longer then you just to gently take the book from you and mark the page so you wouldn't lose track. Then, he would put the book aside and pull your back against his chest and fall asleep like that. The memory does no come with the familiar sting of the past weeks; it's peaceful.
You've gone through three chapters of your book by the time Cedric starts to stir in his sleep. When he opens his eyes, he's confused to see you beside him. Cedric reaches out for your hand, pinching the back of it lightly.
"Ouch, what was that for?", you shriek.
"I just needed to make sure I'm not dreaming.", he explains.
Carefully, he shimmies into a sitting position without adding pressure to his left arm.
You smile wildly at him. "And, what's the outcome of your observation? Dreaming or not?", you tease.
Cedric reciprocates your smile. "Not a dream. Or the last hundred dreams I had of you were really poor quality.", he says. "What are you doing here though? Not that I'm mad or sum."
You sigh. "Straight to the point, hmm?"
All of a sudden, you feel anxious. It all sounded so easy in your head: tell him how you feel and what you want and than sort it out. Now, you can't help but worry that he might not feel the same. After all, you kept him at a distance these past months. What if he got over you?
"I- uhm, I think I should go.", you mumble, trying to get out of the bed. Before you can do such a thing, you feel warm fingers wrap around your wrist, their grip gently but stern.
"Don't go, please." The desperation in Cedric's voice is all to evident. "I didn't dare to wish for a thing like that, but-", his throat bobs as he swallows hard. "Having you here when I wake up- you have no clue how good that makes me feel.", he says, looking you deep in the eyes.
Hesitantly, you let him pull you back. "I heard about the fight and texted you. You didn't reply but there was - is something I need to say, so I came here. Your friend told me about what happened at the game today. Sorry I wasn't there.". you say, unable to keep your mouth shut anymore.
"What is it that you wanted to say?", Cedric asks, picking up on the most important fragment of your short speech.
"I- ugh, that's harder then I thought it would be." You sigh heavily, rubbing your palms over your thighs to calm yourself down. "So, here goes nothing." Another deep sigh, then you finally blurt out: "I don't know if you still want to, but I do. I mean, I want to give us a second chance. Do you want that too? I hope you do, otherwise I would make a fool of myself. I know I've been avoiding you and this is probably coming out the blue but-"
A warm finger pressed against your lips interrupts the endless wave of words falling from your mouth.
"Calm down, please.", Cedric says in a soothing voice. His hand slips from your mouth to the side of your face to pull you a little closer. "There are no words to describe how happy you make me. I deserve nothing from you, but here you are: offering me a second chance and asking yourself if I even want it?! Of course I do. It's all I've been wanting for ages now. You are unbelievable.", Cedric says, pulling you in for a soft kiss. "Unbelievable.", he murmurs again after backing off. "I am so in love with you. Please let me prove myself to you.", he speaks against your lips, his eyes as bright as the sky, lightened up by joy and endless love.
"I'd really like that. I love you too, Ced.", you whisper back, letting the pain of the past weeks float away.