NOT PROOFREAD!
——————————
Prologue:
Pt 1:
"Y/n, your hands are bloody cold!", Fred yells as you sneak your bare hands under his shirt to press them on the warm skin of his back.
"I know.", you giggle.
He does not push you way, instead pulls you closer to wrap you in a bear hug.
Rocking you back and forth, he rests his head on yours.
"Hey let's go inside.", he mumbles after a while. Thinking of the warmth of the burrow that is to find in every corner of the lovely, cozy house, you nod enthusiastically.
Fred leads you into his home,. By now you're familiar with the constant buzzing of people heading around, and don't flinch when you enter the kitchen and a huge plate of oven potatoes whizzes over your head.
"Dinners almost ready. Molly says. And look who has just arrived!"
Turing your head, you see two unfamiliar figures sitting in the living room, deep in a conversation with Arthur. But by the color of their hair and the way the act, they're definitely Weasleys. Bill and Charlie, you suppose.
Fred leaves your side to welcome his older brothers, then motions to you. "That's y/n."
The oldest that introduces himself as Charlie, sends you a wink. "The girl that got my little brother wrapped around her fingers, right?"
You blush a little, but can't hide the smile that forms on your lips. "I guess."
Fred laughs too, but it looks a little off, crooked even.
After you are all full and everyone emptied their plates, Molly shoos you all into the living room for a tea and chatter. Fred however gets swooped away from Bill. They leave though the back door. Fred does not reappear for the next hour
and when Molly lightly asks where they went, you quickly get up. "I'll search for them."
After walking a circle around half of the house, you can hear voices coming from a shed you know that's filled with gardening supplies and food for the chickens.
Why would they be talking in a dark, crusty shed instead of the garden or even the house?
You sneak a little closer until your back is pressed against the wall of the shed.
"Fred, I believe that you have true feeling for her, but you can't keep lying. If you love her you must see that she deserves honesty."
You can hear Fred groan out of frustration. "Do you think I don't know that? Fuck, she deserves the stars in the sky, but how can I tell her the truth if she's going to leave me?"
It's clearly they're talking about you and both fear and guilt fill your stomach. You're eavesdropping and that's not fair, on the other hand the urge to know what is going on is overwhelming.
"I hope you didn't take the money."
The money? Did Fred steal from anyone?
He scoffs. "I would only take it if it would help me undo the bet."
"You and George must have lost your minds. Betting on how fast you could get a girlfriend..."
You gasp, then freeze. From the sudden silence, you can tell they heard the noise you made.
As fast as you can, you run towards the house, but Fred already saw you. "Babe!", he yells.
The pet name cuts like a knife trough your flesh. Biting back tears, you head up the stairs.
I was naive, I was naive, I was naive.
The words repeat in your head in a loop as you run, and they're almost as loud as the sound of your shattering heart.
Frantically, you grab every of your belongings you can find and stuff them into your back that's lying next to the desk when the door bursts opens.
"Fuck, babe, let me explain-"
Fred is panting, both from running and out of panic.
"There's nothing to explain, thank you.", you hiss, wiping tears from your cheeks while still grabbing your things.
Fred grabs you by the shoulders to stop you. "Please, you only heard half of the story."
You sob and try to shake his hands off, but your whole body starts shaking and you start crying. Because you're too heartbroken to fight him, you let Fred pull you to his chest. Your tears soak his sweater.
"I'm so sorry, y/n. I really don't know what has gotten into me when I accepted the bet, but please believe me, you're so much more than that. I didn't know you back then, but now..."
With every word, you have the feeling your heart is getting ripped out of your chest.
"I feel so bad for you, and I was to afraid to tell you. I can't loose you because I love-"
Fred falls silent as you pull away and shake your head. "You don't get to say that. Not anymore, not after what you did to me. That's not love."
With that, you grab your bag and leave. It takes Fred a moment to process and when he did, he runs after you, but you're long gone.
Pt 2:
For a good amount of time, you did just put one foot in front of the other after you stormed out of the Burrow. All you could think about was leaving the pain behind but no matter how far you walked, it didn't help. I'm fact, being alone in a dark field only made it worse.
Trying to keep your voice and hands steady, you called your parents.
An hour later, they apparated next to you and brought you home. You refused to ask any questions, which made them furious, but eventually they stopped asking and when summer break was over, it was time for you to catch the Hogwarts Express.
Even though Kings Cross and the platform 9 3/4 looked the same as always, everything was different. You would always spend the hourlong ride with Fred and George, even before you became a couple.
Now the bare thought of Fred's ginger hair and brown eyes makes you want to skip school. Your heart is hammering in your chest and you bury your nose in a book though the words make no sense to you. The letters in the pages blur as you concentrate on not looking up.
Suddenly, the compartment door bursts open and you hold back a scream. Still, you don't dare to look up until the person speaks up.
Hey, Ron told me what happened between you and Fred.", Hermione says, slowly sitting down on the spot next to you.
It's the first time in a week someone mentions Fred's name out loud and the first time you want to talk about what had happened. Before you can even bring a word out, your lips start to quiver and a gut wrenching sob escapes them.
Oh y/n...", Hermione whispers and pulls you into her arms. I'm so sorry."
It's as if a dam broke. The tears won't stop falling from your eyes and neither did the sobs and gasps. Soon tears drenched the fabric on Hermione shoulder.
Then the door opens a second time and even trough your burry vision, you know who is standing there. You know it by the way your heart starts calling his name but your mind starts cursing him out. You know it by the way the pain inside of you only increases.
Fred you should go.", Hermione stern voice echos through the sudden silence.
You wipe tears from your eyes and then you look into Fred's face for the first time in about two weeks.
Tears well in his eyes too. They're glossy and sad when he looks down at you. His mouth stands open as if he wants to say something but he closes his lips again and you see the way his adams apple bounces up and down as he tries to swallows the lump in his throat.
„I didn't- I need to-„
His voice breaks and so does your heart as it occurs you that Fred is in pain, too. It's obvious that the last to weeks have not been easy for him.
"I want to apologize. I know this isn't going to change anything, but I'm indescribably sorry. I know I fucked up but I just need you to know that I love you and that I really miss you."
Against your will, you get pulled under a spell by his speech.
You mange to take your eyes off of him and stare out of the window to gather your remaining strength and turn to face Fred again. He's looking at you with pleading eyes, silently begging you not to push him away, but just for once, you have to be consistent.
"You should leave.", is all you say. "I get that you're sorry but you betrayed me and you broke my heart. Please leave me alone."
Hermione squeezes your hand as a silent reassurance.
Everything in Fred screams not to go, but he knows if he stays, it will make things worse. You will only push him farther away if he doesn't give you space, he knows that. "I'll give you the time you need. I love you."
His voice is barely over a whisper and his hand is shaking, but he closes the door again and goes against his instincts by leaving.
Pt 3:
Sitting in the cold dungeons, peeking over the kettle edge, you feel an all to familiar stare in your neck. You sigh.
You could really damn Professor Snape for this seating arrangement. You're sitting right in front of Fred and next to Lee, who you have to endure as your potions partner. You can practically smell Fred's anger about the fact that Lee gets to sit next to you - as if you enjoy it any more than him. Trying your best to ignore both, you sprinkle rose petals into the brew. The potion changes from a gross brown to a particularly pretty red.
Snape is checking the potions, giving you zero credit when he takes a look. You swallow your anger. At least the potion is alright.
When Snape returns to the front of the class, he starts telling you everything about the nameless potion you've been brewing for the past hour. It's called amortentia and is supposed to smell like the things you hold close to your heart.
"Give it a minute to seam, then smell carefully. Under no circumstances let the potion touch your bare skin or drink it. Amortentia is a really strong love potions that made wizards and witches a lot stronger than all of you loose their minds.", Snape snarls.
Anxiously, you wait for the next 60 seconds to pass, and without having to take a breath, you get overwhelmed by Fred's intense scent, of course. It wraps around you in a thick cloud, no escaping from it.
Unable to hold back, you shift in your seat and turn around to look straight at Fred, who's sitting with his eyes closed, taking a very deep breath.
"Oh, Merlin.", he groans.
When he opens his eyes again, he catches you looking at him and by the expression in his eyes, you just know that his amortentia smells like you.
He tries to hide his smile, but with moderate success. One corner of his mouth curls upwards.
In this moment, with his eyes on you, his scent hugging you form all around and the knowledge that his nose is filled with your scent, you just know there's no way you're ever going to be able to forget Fred, let alone ever love someone else.
Then Snape calls for everyone's attention and you snap out of your trance, turning back around with your cheeks bright red from embarrassment, confusion and longing.
A minute later, a note is thrown over your shoulder. You hesitate to open it, but in the end you do it anyways. If this lesson taught you one thing it is that you can't ignore Fred any longer.
If it's not obvious by now, I smelled you. Of course I did. I really missed your scent. Do you think Snape will notice when I steal a bottle, just to smell you every time I want to?
You smile at the note, but feel a little sting in your heart. Oh, it's really a delicate balance of sweet, funny and sad.
You rip a piece of your parchment and dip your quill into ink. He will definitely notice, don't do it. And it was pretty obvious. I smelled you too.
Without turning back, you reach behind you to hand the note back to Fred. His fingers brush against yours as he snatches it from you, causing a bolt of lightning to rush through you. A moment later, it lands on your desk again.
I didn't think you would answer me, but I'm really glad you did. So, if you smelled me, does that mean you miss me too? Because I definitely miss you. My life is a mess without you.
You swallow the lump in your throat. I really tried not to, but it's true. I miss you, Fred. Nothing is fun without you. But I don't know if we have a future.
Before Fred as a chance to reply to your message, Snape ends the lesson and shoos you out of the classroom. In the hall, Fred catches you.
"What do we do now? I can't stay away from you now that I know you miss me too.", he says, tugging a strand of hair behind your ear. You have to force yourself not to lean into his touch. "I don't know, Fred. Maybe we could talk if you'd like..."
Your voice was barely a whisper, but he heard you loud and clear.
"Oh god, y/n, yes. I really want to talk to you. But...my parents are here in 30 minutes, for god knows what. Do you think we could talk tonight?"
You smile softly. "Yeah. That's fine. I'll be in my dorm."
Pt 4:
Making it through the rest of the day was unexpectedly hard, and you could not keep focus on anything else, not classes and not your friends talking with you, because mentally, you tried to prepare yourself for the conversation with Fred. You were not exactly sure what to expect and where you want to go with him from this point on, but one thing was clear: no contact is not an option.
So either friends or...giving the relationship a second chance. There is a voice in the back of your head, louder then you like it, that tells you that being friends with Fred is not going to work. You tried to shush the voice through out the whole afternoon, but now that your waiting for Fred, the voice gets louder and louder.
You two didn't agree on a specific time, but with every hour passing you get more impatient, and angry even when the clock goes past 11. Fred wanted to meet you after his parents left; there's no way they are still here. So he either forgot about it, what you doubt highly, or he stood you up, maybe decided he does not want to talk...what does not make a lot of sense either, because he was so desperate to meet you for weeks. And the glow in his eyes when you agreed to talk to him...
Maybe that's all part of some wicked game. Breaking your heart, pretending to regret it, and then dropping you again.
With your blood boiling, you walk into your bathroom and start removing your make up that you left on because you wanted to be your old self for Fred.
Pathetic, you think to yourself, while cleaning your face.
Mechanically, you brush your teeth, take a shower and get changed. When you look at your phone again, and see it's almost midnight, you feel your heart crack yet again. He's not going to come.
Biting back the mixture of anger and sadness, you hide under your blankets and try to fall asleep, what does not work - not at all.
Then, all of a sudden, you hear a knock on the door. You sit up straight. It's 6 minutes past midnight. There's no ducking way he dares to come here that late.
The anger overwhelms you, and you abruptly open the door. "What now?", you hiss.
Fred stands in the doorway, scratching the back of his neck. "Sorry, I- I couldn't make it earlier.", he says.
You scoff. "Yeah, sure Fred. Because your parents suddenly morphed into might owls that enjoy hanging around in Hogwarts until midnight?"
He sighs. "No, they left four hours ago. I-"
You interrupt him. "Shut it, Fred. I've been waiting for hours. Whatever explanation you made up, I don't want to hear it.", you say.
Then you attempt to shut the door into his face, only for him to squeeze his foot in between.
"Please, let me explain. Please, y/n.", he begs.
Very reluctantly, you open the door a slight bit again. "You have one minute."
He smiles widely, but it quickly fades and he takes a deep breath. "Look, I did not want to turn up here empty-handed, so I tried to snuck out of Hogwarts, to buy you some flowers in Hogsmeade after my parents left and...Umbridge caught me. She- um, I'm late because she gave me detention.", he says.
You gasp. By now, rumor has already spread about Professor Umbridges methods, if you can call it that. You widely open the door to grab both of Fred's hands, that he tries to pull back, but you hold on tight. He gives in and let's you push back his long sleeves, and what you reveal fills you both with burning rage and bottomless worry.
I must act to the rules.
Six words, cut deeply into the back of his left hand laying in a bed of dried blood.
"I-", Fred gulps. "I didn't want you to see them, so I tried some healing spells, but they did not work. That's why I didn't come earlier."
You bite your tongue to fight the tears. All of a sudden, you feel terribly guilty for doubting Fred like that. But maybe that was just a sign of your badly affected trust. And then, there's the bottomless affection you feel while you carefully trace a circle around the wounded skin.
Now the question was, does the love overrule the fear?
Pt 5 (last part):
The next morning, you wake up to a warm body pressed against your backside and a warm, steady breath in your neck. A heavy arm is draped over your waist and the big hand belonging to it is laying flat on the sheets informer of you.
I must act to the rules.
Oh god, it's Fred. Your still-ex-boyfriend Fred.
Peking under the covers, you let out a released sigh. At least you're both still dressed.
You can't help but scoot a little closer, savoring the familiar feeling of his sleepy body against yours and the scent in your nose.
Slowly, the memories of last night come back. Both of you have been rather tired and decided to delay your conversation to the next morning where you would have plenty of time. However, you refused to let Fred leave, mostly because you wanted him to be with you, but you claimed it was so that Umbridge couldn't get a hold of him again. He insisted to go, not because he wanted to, but because he thought you would regret it in the morning.
In the end, your pleading eyes and the way you covered the door with your body as if he couldn't vault you over his shoulder and just march out had him giving in.
Fuck it, he thought as he climbed in bed with you.
And now here you are, not regretting it the slightest bit because you haven't slept that good in weeks. Your emotions are a bloody mess, but regret is none of them.
But you are sweaty and you had forget to take off your make up last night, so you hesitantly take the arm off of your waist and shimmy out of bed, careful to not wake up Fred. He groans tiredly and turns to lay on his back.
The hot water of the shower has you sigh from pleasure and within minutes, the bathroom is filled with thick clouds of steam. You take the time to think about Fred again, and everything that happened the last weeks between you and him - from getting together, spending some awesome weeks together, to the break up and every stolen glance you shared between it and yesterdays potions class. How he breathed your scent in from his kettle and the notes you passed after it. I really missed your scent. My life is a mess without you.
And how he took the risk of getting caught by Professor Umbridge just because he wanted to buy you flowers.
How he held you so tight the whole night as if he was afraid you might kick him out if he let go.
You haven't felt so comfortable and calm and safe ever since you spend the winter break at the burrow. And about the question of trust...besides the very stupid decision he made about the bet...did he ever give you a reason not to trust you? No, not at all.
Making your decision, you step out of the bedroom with a towel wrapped tightly around you. Fred is still half asleep, but when you sit down and the mattress gives in under your weight, he opens his eyes.
„Oh, hey.", he whispers sleepily. „Um- how are you?"
Instead of an answer, you bow down to place a gentle kiss on his lips. He does not respond for a second, but then he pulls you closer with one hand on your neck, deepening the kiss. When you pull back, you are breathing heavily.
„Not that I'm complaining but what was this breathtaking exemplar of a kiss for?", Fred asks, his hand still on your neck and a mischievous glint in his eyes
„Well...I missed kissing you.", you answer. „Look...", you add as his eyes narrow in confusion. „I had a lot of time to think about...us. And- I'm not going to gloss over the truth. It will be an effort to find back to ourselves and to rebuild the trust that is essential for a proper relationship, but...I would like to go this way with you."
He sits up straight at your last words. „Do you mean a second chance?", he asks, cupping your cheeks with his hands, softly stroking the skin as he waits for you to say something he didn't dare to wish for these past weeks of separation.
„Yes, Fred. I mean a second chance.", you clarify, wrapping your fingers around his wrists and squeezing them to emphasize your words.
„Oh my dear Merlin, I can't believe this is true. My y/n, my baby.", he murmurs before pulling you in to place tons of kisses all over your face. „I love you.", he breathes between everyone.