Zubia had just come out of the shower. She was wearing the suit that Asfandyar had bought for her when he had gone to Islamabad for a conference, many months back. It was a Grey Kurta with minimal golden embroidery on the neck and sleeves, paired with beige pants and an embroidered beige dupatta. It was the first gift he had ever gotten for her and that's why it obviously was super special to her. She had treasured it since she received it, but never felt worthy of wearing it, earlier.
It was after Asfandyar had finally confessed his love to her, while she lay weak in the hospital bed, that she had decided to wear this suit on her first day in the Khan house as his wife. That's when she had realised that this man, Asfandyar was so very different from her Abbi and Rehan bhai. He actually loved her unconditionally, almost like her mother did. She felt guilty for putting him through all the pain that she did. That's when she had decided to make it upto him, simply by trusting him and giving him all the love that she had felt for him!
She walked upto the dresser, brushed her hair and braided it, while she stood in-front of the mirror. Then she put on some Kajal, a nude shade of lipstick and lastly, her mothers jhumkas and bangles. Zubia was so lost in her thoughts and in getting ready, that she didn't realise when Asfandyar entered the room and stood right behind her. Her reverie was broken when she noticed him looking at her intently, through the mirror. He walked closer to her and rested his chin on her right shoulder.
"Bohot khoobsoorat lag rahi ho! Bas ek baat hai..", he whispered while he gently pulled the hair-tie off her hair and unbraided it, so it could cascade down her back. He then brushed through her hair lightly with his fingers and settled it all on her left shoulder.
"Vaise toh tüm mujhe har haal mein pasand ho, par khule baalon se tumhaari khoobsurti ko jaise chaar chaand lag jaate hai", He said huskily while his lips brushed lightly against the shell of her ear.
All this closeness was making Zubia feel things, she hadn't really felt before. She was liking it, but a part of her was also worried that she would wake up any minute and all this would turn out to be just a dream.
"A-Asfand, Chalein na.. Sab nashte pe intezaar kar rahe honge..;, she said while staring at her feet, unable to look at Asfandyar even through the mirror.
"Haan.. chalte hain.. par usse pehle mein dekh toh loon ke meri biwi iss khaas jode mein lag kaisi rahi hai!", Asfandyar said while he turned Zubia around so he could look at her properly.
"Aaapko yaad hai ye jodaa?!", Zubia asked while she set the dupatta on her head.
"Ofcourse! Pehla gift hai jo maine aapko diya thaa, itni asaani se toh nahi bhooloonga!
Vaise bas aap hee hai Dr.Zubia, jo ek simple saa jodaa pehen kar bhi bijliyaan giraa sakti hai"; Asfandyar winked and claimed!
"Kya aap bhi!? Bas chalein ab!", Zubia said softly as she escaped out of his hold and almost ran out of the room, leaving behind a smiling Asfandyar.
He had been ecstatic over the last few weeks. Being with Zubia helped him connect more to the younger Asfi inside him, who he had locked in somewhere ever-since his brothers death. He was discovering over time, how the love he once felt for Faryal was so different from his love for his wife, Zubia. He realised how his love for Faryal had stemmed more out of his own insecurity and he remembered how, when he was around her, he always felt inferior and like he had to prove himself to her constantly. When he thought of Zubia, he realised that he was very comfortable just being himself around her and was sure that she would love him even if he wasn't "Dr.Asfandyar"- The well-established neuro-surgeon.
He was deeply in love with her and wanted to tell that to her that in every way possible. However, he knew that Zubia would need time to come out of her shell and trust him completely. He truly respected her and was ready to wait for as long as she would need him to. He could see clearly that she loved him, and was also making constant efforts to fight her demons, and that was more than enough for him right now!
***
Zubia entered the dining area and greeted everyone with a smile and sat down next to Saim. Asfandyar too came in a few minutes later and settled down next to Zubia after greeting his parents.
"Mashallah! Kitne pyaare lag rahe ho tum dono!", hai na Gaiti?, Lubna exclaimed.
"Bilkul Maama! Ekdum perfect lag rahe hai dono!, Gaiti agreed.
"Tum dono theek se soye ho?", Usman asked
" Jee Baba..", Asfand replied with a smile and Zubia nodded in agreement.
After a scrumptious breakfast, Usman and Lubna headed to banquet hall to overlook the preparations for the Valima that was to be held in the evening, Gaiti took Saim to study for a bit, since his exams were to begin just a couple of days later and Asfand decided to take Zubia to Daaniyal Bhai's Qabar, just as he had decided earlier.
***
Asfandyar and Zubia reached the Qabristaan, offered their duaas and sat themselves down on the bench that was right in-front of Daaniyals grave.
Zubia sensed that Asfand was becoming emotional. She put her hand onto his and gripped it reassuringly in order to offer support. Though Asfand had never told her himself, she had heard from Gaiti about how the whole family and especially her husband had been attached to Daaniyal bhai. She had heard stories of his bravery, and had immense respect for him.
"Tumhe pata hai Zubia, jab main MBBS mein tha, tab bohot alag insaan hua karta thaa - manmauji, sharaarti, khushmijaaz, aur kuch hadd tak gair-zimmedaar bhi. Baba ko zindagi ki taraf mere iss casual ravaiyye se bohot shikaayat hoti thi, aur voh humesha mujhe bhaiyya ki misaal dete the, jo shuru se hee bohot samajhdaar aur zimmedaar the. Uss waqt mujhe lagta tha ke Baba mujhse utna pyaar nahi karte, jitna bhaiyya se karte hai aur mujhe iss cheez se bohot dukh hota tha. Par Bhaiyya.. unse toh main shuru se hee bohot close rahaa hoon. Unhon ne mujhe vaise hee accept kiya, jaise main thaa. Ek tarah se unhone mujhe bhai ke saath-saath ek baap ka pyaar aur ek mentor ki guidance bhi dee. Jab bhi Baba bhaiyya se meri shikaayat karte the, bhaiya humesha Baba ko yeh keh ke samjhaate the ke serious hone ke liye toh puri umar padi hai. Voh humesha kehte the ke main unse bohot aage jaaungaa.
Bhaiya ke jaane ke baad humaari zindagi mein jaise ek toofaan saa aagaya, jisne sab tehes nehes kardiya. Humaare khandaan ki izzat mitti mein mil gayi aur chacha aur unki family ne bhi humaare saath saare talluq khatam kar diye. Bohot koshsishon ke bawaajood, uss waqt main Daniyaal bhai ki begunaahi sabit nahi kar paaya ; Baba ne mujhe M.D ke lie U.S bhej diya aur voh Mama, Gaiti Bhabhi aur Saim ke saath Neelum shift ho gaye. Jab mein US gaya, I went there with a lot of grief and guilt. Mujhe yeh bhi samajh aa gaya tha ki ab I was the only ray of hope for Baba. Agle 4-5 saal mein apni padhaai mein doob saa gaya tha. It was comfortable for me that way, kyunki mujhe apne emotions se bhaagne ka ek bahaana mil gaya tha. I was functioning on auto-pilot most of the times and had developed very bitter views about the world. Mere andar ka voh khushmijaaz, shararti bachcha kahin band saa hole reh gaya tha. Shayad inhi sab cheezon ki vaiah se mujhe itne anger issues hone lage the. Aaj jab sochta hoon toh realise hota hai ke shaayad anger was the only emotion I had allowed myself to feel, in so many years... Khair, point yeh hai ke, phir tum meri zindagi mein aa gayi, aur dheere dheere mujhe apne andar ka voh bachcha phir nazar aane laga, I became less bitter and started to allow myself to feel happy and vulnerable again.
Bhaiyya was my anchor, Zubia and after his death, I had lost my way, but then it's like he sent you into my life, so that you could become my anchor in his absence!
I know ki bhaiyya would be proud of whatever I have achieved in my professional life so far. Today though, I'm sure that he is probably just happy to have his happy-go-lucky, mischevious 'Chhotu' back after years, all thanks to you!"
Asfandyar had been talking for 15 minutes continuously, without realising. After a few seconds of silence, he turned towards Zubia, who was sobbing softly. She had held his hand tightly throughout. Zubia looked at him reassuringly and pulled him in for a hug.
"Thank you, Thank you, for sharing such a difficult patch of your life with me, Asfand.", Zubia said while she ran her hands through his hair.
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