One silly keychain was all it took to flip Naomi's mood. Jodie had tossed it to her with a casual, 'You'll never guess what I found'. Naomi's fingers had rubbed the golden animal's features into oblivion during the lonely year after their family dog Hailey passed and throughout those awful tests at school, where Naomi's brain refused to share the answers she'd spent hours memorizing. It had also comforted her during the heartbreaking months when Greg got his first girlfriend. She'd like to say she'd outgrown the relic, but she'd transferred her emotional burdens onto Shivanna and Kieran.
She still recalled the night she'd received the keychain. Hailey had passed away a few weeks earlier, and nothing was the same. No wagging tail to greet her after school, nor the perfect running companion to keep her in shape. To make matters worse, when Naomi was upset, Hailey always jumped up beside her and laid her head on Naomi's lap. But that would never happen again. Her family told her to focus on the pleasant memories, but she couldn't.
They'd travelled to visit their grandparents at the Gimli house, and perhaps because of Naomi's mood, her mom had agreed to let Greg sleep over. It was a big deal to them the summer before junior year, even if they'd be in separate tents.
Since he'd wanted to see the lake at night, they'd walked five minutes to the rocks near the beach path. He kept wandering in the opposite direction of the park until he seemed satisfied with their distance, and they sat together on a large rock.
He stared at the dark sky speckled with white dots and the occasional migrating satellite. "It blows me away how many stars are outside the city."
"Two damn many to count," she muttered.
Greg looked at her, his grayish-green eyes glistening in the light of the full moon. Tentatively, he reached into his shorts' pocket. "I got you something." His hand shook as he passed a small rectangular box to her.
She raised an eyebrow. If Greg brought anything to her place, it was food his mom made. "It's not my birthday," she said.
The box was light in her hand with a thin ribbed cardboard exterior. It fit in her palm.
"You've been down since Hailey. It's a silly idea, but I saw it, and I thought you might like it." He scratched at his neck and averted his gaze.
Beneath the lid lay a metal keychain with a golden retriever stretched out mid-jump. The elated expression on the animal's face reminded her so much of Hailey that Naomi began to tear up. She pulled Greg into a way too tight hug and fought the onset of sniffles. His warmth soothed her, and he smelled like a forest.
"Oh my god. Naomi Wheeler, are you actually hugging me?" he whispered in a teasing tone.
Thankfully, her cheeks were hidden as they were burning. "Shut up. This never happened."
Greg chuckled as she still hadn't let go. "We're two people sitting on the beach together. Like how you never get emotional during 'A League of Their Own' and never dance to Uptown Funk when you think no one's watching."
She squeezed his shoulder and frowned, even though a warm sensation grew in her chest. "Exactly. Like how you didn't panic when you made a mistake during our first driving lesson, nor did you spend your paper route money on lightsabers to do accurate reenactments."
She'd held on long enough for someone who rarely gave more than high fives, one-armed hugs and fist bumps, so she pulled back. But she had seared his warm embrace, that pine scent, and the slight tickle of his hair on her neck into her memory.
"I'm quite proud of the reenactments," he countered.
"Even when Finn shared your YouTube channel with everyone, and you had to disable the comment section?"
"And everyone called me Star Dork. Except you, Marc, and Shivanna."
"If I'm going to insult you, it'll be more creative than that, Sir-Brakes-A-Lot."
They both laughed, and a weight lifted off her chest. She looked down at her palm, where the golden dog smiled at her in the moonlight. "Thanks for this. It looks so much like her."
He settled on his rock seat. "Look at the back."
Naomi ran her fingers over an indented section that must have said something. Greg shined a small flashlight on it. Hailey's name was engraved, bringing Naomi to the brink of tears again, but she handled them solo this time.
"This must have cost way too much."
He didn't flinch at the statement and turned off the light. "It's worth it."
"Thank you. You're the best friend I could hope for."
Greg smiled. "Good thing Shivanna didn't hear that."
Naomi laughed, which made him grin more.
"There's Nomi peeking through the clouds."
"Thanks to you."
"Anytime you need to be cheered up, you find me, alright? And if I'm not around, Faux Hailey is there for you." His voice softened more. "She hated seeing you upset, and so do I."
Damn, those tears returned. She hid them with another hug, claiming it was the least she could do to thank him. But he didn't tease her and instead held her with the soothing qualities of her favourite fleecy hoodie.
***
Her sister hadn't known Greg had given her the keychain, nor had her friends. Telling anyone about it would make that moment lose its magic. She didn't need their analysis or encouragement. She just wanted that unspoken closeness between her and Greg. He would smile when she had it out, and it comforted her like one of his hugs.
When she was 22, she'd brought it here, but the latch must have broken. She'd always thought she'd dropped it on the beach, but it must have fallen in the bedroom. Her grandmother had sold the house to Jodie not long after that. Keychain Hailey had been resting in a keepsake box since then.
The memory made Naomi restless. Now, she hardly hesitated before crying and took every hug she could get. Greg had changed so much too. His confidence had soared. He'd gotten more into fitness, hit a growth spurt, and he'd given up several hobbies. But back then, he'd known how to fix everything and support her. Never in a million years did she imagine that kid shattering her heart.
Jodie, her husband, and Kieran happily played games in the family room, but Naomi couldn't sit still or focus on the trivia game. Kieran would pick up on her mood in a second, and she was reluctant to admit the reason for this sudden shift. When she excused herself to go for a walk, he offered to come, but she assured him she'd be fine. Most people would have gone home after the fireworks, and he was having fun. She didn't want to ruin that when all she offered were melancholic reflections.
Her feet guided her to the lake's rocky upper shoreline, like the one from her memory. She tucked her hand in her pocket where the keychain rested. The metal—warmed slightly from her leg—soothed her like the smoothness of a skipping stone. She was about to sit on a rock when she noticed another person seated in a hoodie and shorts.
Her heartbeat echoed in her ears. "Shit, I'm sorry I didn't see you."
As the person stood, she stepped back and stiffened. Would he attack her, or was he harmless?
"It's all yours." That voice was familiar. Deeper than the memory she'd relived earlier.
"Greg?" She had to be wrong, but the more she studied his stance, the more she recognized, even with his hunched shoulders. "Why are you in Gimli?"
He didn't take spontaneous trips nor did he have a car. Small rocks crunched beneath his sneakers as he put more distance between them.
"For reasons that are no longer important."
That was a nebulous answer. "What does that mean?"
"Just enjoy your night with your family. Forget you saw me."
She blamed the silly keychain memory for the words that escaped her lips. "Like you forgot my beach hugs?"
She tried to match her breathing to that of the waves as Greg neither left nor approached. He lingered like he did in her memories.
"I never forgot." His tone was hardly above a whisper.
She dug in her pocket and passed the keychain to him. "Jodie found this."
He examined it and chuckled. His stiff shoulders and posture relaxed as his thumb glided over the metal like hers had for years.
"If only I knew you as well now as I did when I was sixteen," he said.
"I didn't even know myself at sixteen."
The gentle waves left frothy bubbles on the nearby sand as they ebbed and flowed in the starlight. The yellow glow of lights from the beach park and downtown twinkled in the water's reflection.
He looked at her a few times before he spoke. "Were you ever going to tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"About your boyfriend." Defeat lingered in his voice.
She tensed. Had someone told him?
"Is that why you're in Gimli?"
"No. If I'd known, I'd never have come." He dug his hands into his hoodie pocket, stretching it down.
She empathized with that as witnessing him and Tara had been hard. Add in another recent break-up, and that pain would only intensify. Now that she was happy with Kieran, it was easier to see Greg's situation in a less bitter light.
He must have seen them together at the Viking Village or at the fireworks, but that was at least an hour ago. It didn't explain why he was on this beach.
"Why did you stay?"
He kicked at a few loose rocks and sighed. "I should leave, but I can't bring myself to do it." His voice broke the tiniest bit on the last word.
It was like her heart clinging to old memories and the reason she couldn't hang around her cheerful family and Kieran.
"I should have told you and almost did. Each time I tried, Ian interrupted me."
"I severely misread you."
Wait, what had he thought she would say?
"How long have you two been..." He kept running his thumb over the keychain instead of completing his sentence.
"We've been dating for a month. What did you think I wanted to tell you?"
He stared at his hands. "Please don't make me say it. You can figure it out or maybe not, considering how long it took us the first time."
Naomi squished her sandals into the sand and spread the grains around. He couldn't have genuine feelings for her. It was vulnerability after his break-up again. But he'd brought her a drink at the game that he'd connected to the day he'd told her he liked her romantically, and he wasn't upset about Tara.
The uneasy lurch in her stomach needed to disappear ASAP. Kieran was an incredible boyfriend. Throughout her previous relationship, Greg had made her uneasy, upset, and lonely. Their sexual preferences weren't the only point of incompatibility.
He finally met her gaze. "You don't have to answer this, but it's been bugging me. Why him? How does he make you that happy?"
Kieran's sarcastic banter constantly lifted her mood. His sweetness was better than chocolate, which was significant coming from Naomi, and he always strove to make her feel good. Above that, another of his traits meant the world to her.
"He accepts and celebrates all of me, not only the fun, pleasant parts but my fears and insecurities. Some days it feels like he's accepted my asexuality more than I have, and it's really helped."
"And I made it worse?" Greg asked tentatively.
"I don't think you meant to, but I was pretty crushed. It was like my asexuality was a bomb you wanted to diffuse instead of truth to absorb and understand. When someone tells you their identity, you shouldn't question them or negotiate about it."
He ran his free hand through his hair. "I'll do better next time you tell me something important."
She wasn't sure that would occur. Whatever trust and closeness they'd had had long faded.
He sighed, and the moon glistened in his eyes as he looked at her. "Leaving you like that was the worst mistake I ever made. I wanted to apologize right after I left."
"Why didn't you?"
Greg stared at the keychain, his frown deepening.
"Were you that mad I ruined your vision of our future?"
He chewed on his lip.
Didn't she deserve that apology? The guy who'd given her the keychain would have never hurt her like that. He had to be lurking in there somewhere.
"My dreams were destroyed too," she whispered.
His soft gaze met hers. "I wracked my brain for the right words to convince you I wanted our relationship even if it differed from our dreams, and you were convinced it would fail. But when I found them, it was too late."
She furrowed her brow. "Too late? If you felt that strongly, it shouldn't have taken you a month."
"It took me twenty minutes and another five to run back to your house, but your future boyfriend beat me there."
Her heart thudded in her chest. "What?"
Greg stared at the beach with his shoulders hunched. "You jumped into his arms. Clearly, he meant more to you than I did if you greeted him like that."
Greg had seen them? How hadn't she noticed him on the street? Why had he said nothing?
She sat on a nearby log, and he followed while remaining standing. "Greg, you meant everything to me then. Kieran was there because I needed a friend, and Shivanna was busy."
"You didn't greet me like you did him." He crossed his arms.
"Because you didn't check on me once during a week when I told you about my asexuality. I felt so rejected, and that's what I assumed you came to do."
"I wanted us to try, and you pushed me away."
"Because we would have hurt each other more. If you had stayed, you'd have seen me sobbing on the floor with Cleo. Our relationship ending was not easy for me at all. I felt rejected, and worthless, and unlovable. If we'd dated longer, the feelings would have been amplified."
Greg tensed, his arms fell to his side, and his eyes teared up. "I'm so sorry, Nomi. I'll never forgive myself for that." He sat beside her, some of his warmth drifting over.
A few minutes passed as she visualized every time Kieran had erased her pain with his embrace.
"If I had knocked before he'd gotten there or while he was there, what would have happened?" Greg asked in a gentle tone.
Her traitorous mind jumped to the moment she opened the door for Kieran but replaced him with Greg. With teary eyes, he apologized and hugged her, whispering how he couldn't imagine being apart. He'd have asked her to tell him about asexuality and listened with the patience of the man who gave her that keychain. Deep down, he was still there.
Her phone buzzed, likely with a text from Kieran, and she froze. What the hell was wrong with her? She was in a relationship she loved while dwelling on a flawed one.
"I'd already decided by the end of our conversation," she lied. "And that doesn't matter, because I adore my relationship with Kieran." That, thankfully, was the truth.
He scooted further from her and stared at Keychain Hailey. "I saw that, and it's why I was sitting alone on this beach at midnight instead of trying to win you back. I wish I'd known sooner."
Naomi tapped her fingers on her legs. "I was afraid to tell you."
"Afraid of me?"
"Your reactions can be hard to predict. I didn't expect this conversation to be so calm."
He tensed and recoiled. "You think I'm an asshole?"
"You have acted like one."
He extended the keychain to her, but she shook her head.
"I think you'll get more use out of it than me." She had enough memories of Greg and didn't need a memento.
He tucked it in his pocket. "I'm sorry for hurting you, and I'll do better. I don't like my life very much when you're not in it," he whispered.
Naomi had to fight the onset of tears. Her heart used to ache similarly when he'd get a new girlfriend, and Naomi would fight to keep their friendship strong.
"Bring him to softball games, invite him out for drinks after. I'll be nice and supportive. If you're happy, I'm happy. No more asshole Greg." His smile seemed forced but in a pained rather than menacing way.
"Are you sure?"
He nodded and stood, extending his hand to help her do the same. "You were nice to Tara even though she's... a hard person to like. I can do that with Kieran too."
"Thanks, I appreciate it."
"Do you want me to walk you back?"
Would Kieran worry if he knew she was out here talking to Greg? She didn't want to hide, but she also didn't want to make him insecure.
Greg tucked his hands in his pockets. "I can walk you to the street."
She nodded and after a minute, they parted ways as the beach park transitioned into a quiet residential street. As she headed home, Naomi struggled to tell if Greg's confession left her heavier or lighter.