Love.
That's all Yeonjun Choi wanted.
Fear.
That's what kept Yeonjun from getting it. Not because he was scared of love, but because he was terrified of his lover would be afraid of him.
It was 10pm. Yeonjun was drumming his fingers on the steering wheel of his jeep. He was nervous as hell. He had been emotionally holding himself back from Kai for too long. His boyfriend confessed that he loved him three days ago. Yeonjun couldn't say it back. He loved Kai more than anything in the world but he couldn't admit it until he knew Kai would stay once he revealed his secret.
They fought when Kai didn't hear it back. The younger knew his boyfriend loved him. It hurt so much that Yeonjun just wouldn't admit it. They almost broke up. Kai didn't want to be with someone who was afraid of his feelings. When he loved, he loved hard. He wanted to give Yeonjun his soul with the expectation his boyfriend would cherish his in return. Mixed signals felt like a waste of both of their time.
Yeonjun couldn't lose him. He had never felt this way about anyone before. If they were really meant to be, Kai would accept him for who he is. Yeonjun convinced him to come tonight. He was done keeping secrets. Now he was nervously waiting.
Kai opened the passenger door then sat into the seat. He was still mad. He didn't even want to look at his boyfriend. "This better be good."
"It-" Yeonjun sighed. "It'll explain why I've been holding back." He tried to touch Kai's hand but the younger pulled it away. Yeonjun stared ahead towards the woods. He started to drive into it. "You mean the world to me. I hope you know that."
"Yet you don't love me."
"Kai..."
"I wouldn't be this mad if I knew you didn't feel the same way! Didn't you fall for me first? Didn't you tell me I make you happier than you've ever felt before?!"
"Yes! But-"
"But what Yeonjun?"
"Just wait! I'll show you! I promise you'll understand everything in a few minutes!"
Kai leaned his head on the side window. He stared at the full moon. The trees whipped past but the moon remained in place. He heard their shared playlist come on through the speakers. The romantic gesture was appreciated but still not enough.
Yeonjun reached for his hand again. This time, Kai didn't pull away. His fears increased once they drove past the broken tree.
Kai's hand started to hurt from how much his boyfriend was squeezing it. "Sweetheart? Are you okay?"
"Oh. Sorry. Yeah, I'm fine." Yeonjun stopped the car when they arrived at a meadow. He stepped out of the car then looked around. They were here. He could sense them. A few were scattered in the shadows of the tree line. The others were a bit further back.
The pale blue flowers brushed against Kai's fingertips as he walked towards the middle of the meadow. He looked up to the moon again. It was so bright. Sunlight was overrated. Moonlight made everything so much more romantic. Kai sat down next to a patch of flowers. He looked at his boyfriend who was slowly walking towards him. "I love you Yeonjun. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. What am I to you?"
"My everything." Yeonjun knelt down across from him. Kai's cheeks glittered under the soft white light. His eyes twinkled under the stars as they gazed into his. Yeonjun placed a light kiss on his forehead then backed away. Once they were about six feet apart, he commanded "you can come out now."
Kai looked around when he heard footsteps in the treelines. He stood up. His eyes darted in every direction. The steps grew louder. He had no idea what was going on. Then he saw them. Wolves. Seven of them, all closing in on him in a circle. His heart was beating out of his chest. Kai didn't move. He watched them all walk towards his boyfriend. Their teeth were bared. Some growled. The smallest one looked at him curiously as it made it's way towards Yeonjun's side. Kai whispered "what the fuck?"
"Um. Kai? Baby? This is my pack. I'm their protector." Yeonjun closed his eyes. He transformed into a silver wolf before his boyfriend. He was the biggest one out of all of them. Yeonjun transformed back when Kai took a step backwards.
Kai began to panic. "What the fuck?! How did?! What?! Yeonjun?!"
"It's okay!" Yeonjun ran towards Kai. He caught his arm before Kai fell backwards from a small rock. "I got you." Yeonjun took a step backwards to give Kai some space. The last thing he wanted was for his boyfriend to feel like he was suffocating. "Do you see why I couldn't say it now? I love you so much. You're everything to me baby. Everything."
The wolves sensed their protector's hesitation. They made their way back towards the forest to give them space.
Kai remained frozen as he watched the pack leave. His instincts kicked in and he started to run.
That is exactly what Yeonjun had been dreading. He decided to follow him at a slow pace knowing Kai was going to get lost. Right now, he just wanted to give him some time to process this alone.
Kai ran about three miles before he realized he had no idea where he was going. He liked to joke his boyfriend was an animal in bed. That wasn't very funny anymore. If Kai kept track of the moon's cycles, he would've realized Yeonjun wasn't available for every full and half moon. He liked to check up on his pack every two weeks to make sure they were okay. It didn't even phase Kai. He just figured his boyfriend had a life outside of their relationship like he did. He was technically right.
There was nothing around but trees and dirt. Kai was not a survivalist. He was a proud city boy. Cities had roads and street signs. You get lost? You find a road. The woods didn't have that luxury. He heard a twig break in a shadow. A patch of red hair glowed under a pine tree. Kai was relieved it was his boyfriend and not someone or something else. He sat down into the dirt under the rays of white. He was ready to face him now.
The red head walked up to him. He asked "can I sit next to you?" Kai nodded. He wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's waist as he sat down. They stared at the stars for what seemed like forever. Yeonjun couldn't stand the silence. "Please say something!"
"My boyfriend is a werewolf..."
"I don't particularly like calling myself that but yes." The silence continued. Kai looked like he was going to faint. Yeonjun whispered "easy baby. It's okay" as he rubbed his back.
"My boyfriend is a werewolf..."
"Okay can you please not call me that? How about shapeshifter or transformer or... my favorite, yours..."
"My boyfriend-"
"KAI! SNAP OUT OF IT!"
Kai shook his head. He took a long hard look at Yeonjun and still couldn't grasp what just happened. "How long have you been like this exactly?"
"Since I was 11? It's a rare gene. You need to be born on a full moon too. My first boyfriend was one too. He's the reason I'm their protector."
"That's just fucking great."
Yeonjun placed a quick kiss on his lips when he saw how jealous Kai became. "I didn't love him. I love you."
"Yeah well, make sure to thank him for me that they have such a wonderful fucking protector."
"Baby I think you misunderstood me. I fought him for that right. When I won, he was casted out." Yeonjun kissed him again when he saw the smallest smile on Kai's lips. He had never seen him jealous before until now. "You're everything to me. I love you Huening."
"I have so many questions."
"Wait! Aren't you gonna say it back?!"
Kai laid down in the dirt. He brushed a flower off of his face so he could continue to stare at the moon. "I love you too. Can I ask my questions now?"
Yeonjun leaned on his side to face Kai. He gently brushed those soft black strands away from his face so he could peer into his eyes. "You're so ethereal baby. Just answer my question first then you can ask whatever the hell you want."
"Okay. Shoot."
"Why do you still love me? You know what I am now."
Kai sat up. He held his cheek with his right hand then he lightly pressed their foreheads together. "You're still you. I fell in love with YOU Yeonjun. I'm not going anywhere. It just took me a bit to get over that you're not human." Kai kissed his lips. He pulled away to smile only to be graced by them again.
Every ounce of repression was released as Yeonjun kept kissing Kai. He felt the weight being shed off of his shoulders. He could be himself without fear now. Kai was staying. He found his true mate. "I love you. I love you so much baby. I'm never going to stop saying it now!"
"I love you too." Kai kissed his forehead then looked behind his boyfriend. He saw the wolves sitting down a few feet away. The smallest one walked up to him then laid down by his knee. It's head rested on Kai's thigh. Those adorable eyes peered up at him as he nervously started to stroke it's fur.
Yeonjun bit his lip in his smile. "She likes you. That's Yuna. The baby of the family."
Kai's pitch raised as he started to tell her how cute she was. "Who's a good girl?! You're so soft! Is Yeonjun treating you well? Is he being bad again?!" His excitement grew as Yuna jumped in a circle. Her tail was rapidly waving from side to side.
Yeonjun was so happy as he watched the two play together. Now that Kai was introduced to this life, he wondered why his boyfriend hadn't phased yet. He fell first because he sensed the same gene in him. Kai should've phased by now. He was 21 years old. Born on a full moon, according to google at least when he looked his birthday up. Everyone with that set of circumstances turned when they hit puberty. Something was inside of Kai. An animal was waiting to come out and now that Yeonjun knew Kai really loved him, he was going to unleash it.