My face burned with anger and embarrassment as my three friends silently watched the ridiculous exchange between me, my sister, and Henry.
"Oh, thank you dear sister." Adela gleefully wrapped herself around Henry's arm, pressing her small breasts against him.
Henry's jaw clenched as he reluctantly peeled his eyes away from me to smile at her, "Come, the next dance is about to begin."
As they strode off, Adela subtly turned back to flash me a devilish grin.
My throat tightened at the sight of them, knowing she was going to do anything she could to win him over, and that it was my fault he was in such a situation. But what bothered me the most was how good they looked next to one another.
His tall, broad frame next to her small, delicate body, the clashing of her blonde hair and his brown. In truth, they almost looked like a younger version of the King and Queen, and that was enough to churn the contents of my stomach.
"Am I even good enough for him?" I thought as I tried to imagine myself as Queen. But, despite how hard I tried to envision it, I couldn't. I was hardly good enough to become a princess, but a Queen? It was starting to feel like a fool's hope, wanting to be with Henry.
Once the two of them were far enough away, Sheera stepped in front of me, immediately snatching me from my thoughts, "What on earth was all that about?"
"I-I do not know." I sighed, trying to keep myself from crying out of frustration. Whether it was the wine or all the emotions I had been desperately bottling up all night, I was unsure, but I was nearing my breaking point. Everything had started to feel like it was slowly spiraling out of my control and my chest grew ever the tighter.
Rheda's green eyes made my skin prickle as I realized she had already figured everything out. That she was well aware of my hidden feelings. "She is a bit overwhelmed, cousin." She gently said, though I could feel her need for answers through her eyes.
"I see." Sheera placed a hand on my shoulder, "Would you like to take a step outside? Get some fresh air? I do not mind accompanying you if that is something you would like."
"I'll be fine, I just need a moment." I smiled weakly, "My head feels a bit fuzzy, perhaps I should find something to eat?"
"Of course." Sheera smiled, "Would you like for one of us to come along?"
"No." I shook my head, "Thank you, but I would hate to pull any one of you away from enjoying the party to help me. So please, continue on and I will be back in a moments time."
Their eyes, filled with questions and pity, made my nerves scream as I tried to hide just how upset and close to vomiting I was.
"Gods," I mentally sighed, quickly navigating through all the bodies as I tried to lose myself in the crowd. "if she knows, then how long until someone else figures it out?" My breath shortened as the people around me grew taller and taller, or perhaps I had been shrinking? Regardless, I felt like I was drowning. I wanted to cry, to scream, to run out the front door and never look back. But that was not possible. I could not afford to shatter in front of so many people, not with so much at stake. However, it was growing harder and harder not to.
My body completely froze in place as the feeling of a hand curling around my arm flooded my mind with, brief, unwanted thoughts of that man. I did everything I could to keep myself from overreacting, but the immediate pain in my arm that followed suit made my breath catch and heart hurt as if it were being squeezed instead.
I slowly turned my head towards them, hands shaking with fear as mother's angry face came into view.
"Are you drunk?" She hissed, "What in God's name are you doing walking around with such a horrid look on your face? Are you trying to embarrass our family? I mean look at you, you're covered in sweat and your face is as red as blood."
"No, no, no, not right now." I internally screamed, "Of all people, why did it have to be her?" I wanted to yank my arm from her still tightening grip and flee, but all I could do was stare back at her in horror.
"Are you even listening to me?" She shook me, then looked around the room to make sure no one saw.
"I'm s-sorry mother, I did not-"
She squeezed even tighter, "Didn't I tell you to never call me that again?" If it were not for all the people around, I was sure she would have hit me. Her nails dug through my sleeve into the soft meat of my arm sending a searing line of pain down my arm, forcing me to wince as she snatched me after her. Quietly she weaved us through groups of people until we finally made it to the very edge of the room, then continued. "I cannot fathom how you have the audacity to parade around like a drunken fool at such an important event. Especially after coming very close to ruining us all by going and nearly getting yourself spoiled in the woods by some filthy bandit!"
My heart stopped, throat tightening as everything around us came to a pause. "What?"
"I knew you were desperate for attention, but to seek it from such a disgusting varmint and have it be known throughout the entire kingdom is unacceptable." Her icy blue eyes boiled with hate and disgust.
"I was attacked." Anger started to bubble up in me as disbelief settled across my face. I knew she had been an awful mother, but to think she had been so twisted to have been capable of turning my trauma into a narrative that better suited her hate towards me was something else.
"Attacked?" She laughed, "We both know that is not true. You sought out that man long before going into those woods, otherwise he would not have followed you out there. You cannot even control your whorish urges when dancing with the princes in public, so what makes you think I would believe that he was not just some lover you found on the road that you just so happened to get caught with?"
I felt something in me snap, "How dare you call yourself a mother."
"Excuse me?" she snapped, daring me to repeat myself.
"I was beaten, chased and almost raped in those woods and you think I wanted it? That that filthy, putrid man was my lover?" My eyes filled with tears and my lower lip shook, "No, mother, I did not almost get raped just to embarrass you, to sully our name and almost get dismissed from the Courting. I did nothing to deserve what I went through, nor to deserve to be treated so awfully by you. Yet here you are." She was completely taken aback, "Do you not care that I, your child, was harmed? That I might not have made it out of those woods at all?" I grabbed her wrist and ripped her hand from my arm, "No, you do not, and yet you still dare call yourself a mother."
I wanted to see a fleck of regret, or a hint that what I had said hurt her, but nothing of the sort ever arose. She never once considered me more than a pest, and it was that moment which made it very evident.
But what hurt the most was that I wanted nothing more than for her to have gently taken me into her arms and held me. To kiss me on the head and apologize for what I had gone through. I just wanted her, if even for but a second, to love me.
"Who do-"
"Good evening, Lady Beckett." A familiar male voice cut her off before she could even begin, "It is wonderful to finally meet your acquaintance." I stayed staring at mother as all the things I wanted to say to her whirled through my mind. "Your daughter is rather magnificent, if I must say."
Her face shifted as if she had become a completely different person, leaving no hint of her seething hate or anger behind, "Prince Thomas!" She curtsied, "Good evening to you, I am glad my daughter is to your liking."
He reached out for her hand and kissed it before he smiled, "Indeed, she is." He peered over at me out of the corner of his eye and looked me up and down, "As a matter of fact, I have come to collect her for a dance, that is if I am not interrupting anything important."
"By all means, Your Highness, take her." Mother insisted, though I could feel the heat radiating from her eyes, "We can finish our talk later."
"Then, Miss Beckett, shall we?" He offered me his hand, blue eyes twinkling with a tinge of what looked to have been sympathy.
It had felt like it had been a long time since I had seen that side of him, the soft, gentle version of himself that he was when we would meet in the gardens. And it caused my heart to slightly flutter.
"Of course, My prince." I took his hand, as he bowed to my mother, bidding her goodbye, then began to slowly escort me towards the dance floor.
"I know not what was said between the two of you," He began, voice soft and warm, "But whatever it was, has left you in a such a state I have never seen, let alone wished to."
"It was nothing." I tried to swallow the tears that collected in my throat, searing as they tried to choke me.
"It does not appear to be nothing to me." He glanced down at me, "Though, I will do my best to erase it from your mind so that it will be."
Without hesitation he pulled me out into the middle of the many dancing couples, and we began to dance. I lost myself in the music, thinking of nothing as we floated across the floor. It was unlike him to allow silence to gather between us, but he stayed quiet, as if allowing me a moment of peace. Peace that I welcomed with opened arms.
I closed my eyes, feeling the music as the alcohol I had continuously consumed throughout the night started to seep into my entire body. Numbing me to everything around. I did not know how long we had been out there, or how many different dances we had done, when a voice called out to me.
"Emma?"
I shook my head, trying to find my way out of the trance I had accidentally allowed myself to fall into, "Yes, Thomas?"
"I am not he." I looked up from the chest I had been staring at after realizing it had not belonged to Thomas at all. Stomach dropping at the sight of Henry's beautiful face as it hardened. His eyes betrayed his emotions, though it was rather clear I had upset him just from his jaw alone. "Are you alright?"
"Yes." I said simply, however we both knew I was lying.
"You did not even notice the change of your dance partner, yet you claim to be fine?" The anger in his voice nearly made me shudder, but not out of fear, it was out of pleasure. Something in the gruffness in his voice and the furrow of his brows sent a wave of warmth throughout my body.
"I am sorry." I looked up at him, chewing on my bottom lip. He smelled so nice.
He sighed, then looked up at the ceiling, "Emma, are you drunk?"
"Not nearly enough, I'm afraid." I smiled back up at him, fighting the urge to run my hands through his fluffy locks.
He peered back down at me, green eyes swirling with conflicting emotions and an underlying heat I had only ever seen in Thomas', "Gods. . ." He sighed, "You have no idea what you do to me."
We both locked eyes as his grip around my waist tightened. My breathing quickened and my heart began to race. All night I had wanted him. Forced to wait to feel his touch, and now that I had it, it was more intoxicating than the wine.
"Henry," I breathed, cheeks burning as I fell deeper and deeper into his gaze. "I want y-"
"Pardon me, brother, but it is time to swap partners again, and I would like mine back." Thomas intruded, taking one of my hands from him.
Henry stood there for a moment, not once looking away from me as anger slowly set in his jaw. It appeared as if he were going to refuse to let me go, then despite not wanting to, relented. "Of course, brother. She is all yours."
My heart hurt at the sight of Henry walking away after I had finally had him in my arms.
Thomas slipped a hand around my waist and slowly slid his other up my neck until my chin rested on it, tilting my face up towards his, "It seems we have found ourselves in the same predicament as before."
"And that is?" I tore my eyes from Henry, who had completely left the dance floor, abandoning Adela without a second thought.
"You in the arms of my brother, when you should instead have been in mine." His tone was playful, but the fire in his eyes told me just how angry he truly was. The stench of jealousy radiating off of him in waves as he tried to hide it behind his princely façade.
"And how has your patience been holding?" I smiled, trying to appease him and his flirty appetite.
"Steady." He grinned, then pulled me into him as he breathed into my neck, "How is your modesty?"
"Unshakable." I shivered.
"Oh?" He shamelessly planted a kiss on my neck, sending a jolt of warmth throughout my body. "We shall see about that."